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Subject: How the Frog Became A Frog; an Erotic Fairy Tale
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How the Frog became a Frog

Written by Snow White as told to her by the frog on the day of their fateful
meeting, but set down here much later.

I wasn't always a frog before I was a fool. Not just any fool either, I was
the Royal Fool, the little princes and princesses loved me, the king loved
me and had in fact appointed me Royal Fool and the queen loved me. The queen
loved me every inch of me, she loved me in the morning, in the afternoon,
she loved me in the garden, and in the shower. I ate raw oysters at every
meal to try and keep my constitution up, along with more important body
parts. Raw oysters with toast and cereal is no treat let me tell you, but
not being able to perform for the queen in a private command performance,
well lets just say that it is not healthy.

Being with the queen had been a real pleasure, the woman is beautiful, long
streaming red hair, a beautiful face with exquisite features, and a body
like you wouldn't believe. Then add in the worlds finest gowns to flatter an
already near perfect body, just so very exciting to be around, like my first
time with her.
 One afternoon, just after a very successful performance for the king and
his entire court a knock came upon my door. A page was standing there,
congratulating me on the performance, and asking if I might possibly give a
private show tomorrow to the queen in her chambers for herself and a few
favored ladies of the court. Then he gave me a big wink turned and walked
away. The wink puzzled me, I was thrilled to be noticed, and thought that
some of the other royal ladies might have jester work for me when the king
tired of me. But why had he winked, did they not like me and I was to be
fired or had the page meant well done? Now I was worried. Was I to be fired?
I rehearsed all night; I had to be good tomorrow.

I show up the next day to the queen's private chamber, no guards by the
door, sort of strange, kings and queens always have guards, it gives the
peasants something to do. I knock, and hear a voice say enter. I do, to find
an empty chamber then hear the queen from behind a dressing screen say make
your self comfortable and please pour us a glass of wine. I pour her a glass
and sit listening attentively, as she continues from behind the screen about
how entertaining I had been the day before. Then she comes round the front
of the screen and she has on a lingerie outfit that the designer must have
worked for weeks on and the seamstress about five minutes. I'm sure the
designer was handed a six inch by six inch swatch and was told to get at
least two outfits out of it. I stand and bow, almost spilling her wine which
like a fool I'm still holding, my face is beet red and stupidly I wore
tights. My hard-on is twice as long as the fake Cyrano nose I had worn the
day before. I hand her the wine and she asks where mine is? I thought she
meant the royal us not the two of us. She sits; I quickly pour a glass of
burgundy, sit myself, and cross my legs to hide a screaming erection.

She enjoyed toying with me for a while making small talk, she liked my
tunic, what was I to say, I usually return the complement but she didn't
have enough on to mention. Then saying she had just come from the king. What
does that mean? Asked me what I thought of the king? I told her I thought he
was about the finest king ever. She laughed and said don't you think he's a
little bit dopey. I replied no, my lady, then she said. "I ain't no lady."

That was definitely not true she is some lady, she dragged me from my seat
to the royal bed and did me royally all afternoon. I jumped every time I
heard the squeak of a mouse afraid that we would be caught and I would be
hanged and she sent off to a nunnery. She would have been wasted in a
nunnery. She commanded one last encore and presented herself to me all
fours; I was working hard to please when just what I feared would happen,
happened. The king burst through the door, and demanded I tell him what kind
of fool I took him for. I could deny nothing, I was still attached to his
queen, instead I amazed myself with my reply that it had been all my fault
that his queen was blameless, I had ruthlessly seduced her. Please do what
you will with me, but find room in his heart to forgive her. His face turned
crimson, I was sure to die before nightfall, no last meal or cigarette or
blindfold, hell that's if I'm lucky, they might torture me for weeks, peel
back the skin layer by layer by layer.

He burst out laughing, he fell to the floor, he stood and fell to the floor
again, stood finally choking out. "You seduced her? She practically dragged
you to the bed, she ripped your clothes off, she almost raped you." That's
when the queen bursts out laughing too, She nods to the king, and says. "I
thought he might be gay the way he protested, but woody gave him away."

The king burst into another fit of laughter, the queen too, but the king was
laughing so hard he had to sit, meanwhile I removed my self from the royal
behind and wrapped myself up in a sheet, inching away from the bed. The
queen whirled around, wanting to know where I was going? I froze, the king
chuckled, and said. "Jester, you are very loyal, and we'll play no more
jokes on you today. She is too much for me to handle, and I'll wager for you
too. We shall see."

Then he left. Prophetic words, but it wasn't the queen's enormous appetite
for amore that eventually did me in but jealousy on the part of another of
her frequent partners. But I get ahead of myself, the queen always required
that I finish whatever I started.

 I was made one of the king's advisors, as well as royal jester, as well as
boy toy for the queen and I loved each of my roles. Months went by and I got
along just fine, even though I was never fond of oysters as a breakfast food
I enjoyed the queen, more than enough to endure them. In fact I would much
rather be eating them now instead of flies. The only other bother was
sometimes I would find little notes, telling me to stay away from the queen
or something dire would happen.

Let me just point out that the queen is a real nymphomaniac no way could one
man satisfy her, realistically no way could a small village, town, city or
country's worth of men satisfy her either. What I am saying is that the
queen swung both ways, who ever could satisfy her best at the moment was
fine with her. This didn't bother me I knew she had other lovers before I
arrived but if the king wasn't jealous how could I be. However the queens
previous lover had a problem with it, the Royal Witch, I had in fact thought
her to be the Royal Magician until one night I saw her fly her broomstick
sidesaddle, and checking with a page the next morning discovered the Royal
Magician, to be a she. I had in fact seen her in court many times but in her
substantial black robes, black hat, and black hair lip I had in fact
mistaken her for a he, I should have know by the wart, only witches have
warts. Oh and that woman, Venus, all the virgin boys in my hometown went to
lose their virginity, she had warts but they weren't on her face, and then
all the boys had warts, gee that was a bad summer. Sorry, don't mean to go
on like this, anyway the witch would glare at me during court functions and
once when I passed her in the hall she hissed at me. I didn't know what her
problem was thought maybe she just didn't like entertainers.

Then one night I came stumbling back to my room after rather a late session
with the queen, I was rather pleased with myself, this was one of the few
times I had still been standing when the queen announced that she was indeed
satisfied. Oral sex was the only way I could get the upper hand with her,
the stage being my profession and a natural love of oratory and ice cream
cones.

Authors note: I can indeed attest to the frog's skill, and can only
fantasize about him in human form.

One of the king's French maids was turning down my bed for me, I watched as
she bent over carefully tending the sheet, in her short maid uniform. I
thanked her and asked what is the occasion. She looked a little dazed and
said that she had been sent by the queen. That turning down the bed was but
the prelude to our use of the bed, she had been sent to instruct me in
secret love techniques that the queen wanted me to know but didn't want to
show me herself because she was embarrassed. I didn't believe it for a
second, I'm a fool in fact the royal fool but not completely gullible, but
if the queen wasn't ringing my bell more then a few times a day I would have
played house with this maid for a week. I told the girl that as much as I
wished to please the queen, that tonight it would be impossible for me to
learn anymore. The queen had taught me all that I was capable of tonight,
but told her to return, tomorrow after midnight and we would begin our
lessons, I asked her name, she replied Suzette and told her I would see her
tomorrow.

First thing in the morning I went to the queen and thanked her for Suzette,
she gave me a puzzled look, and I explained what had happened after leaving
her apartments the night before. Then told the queen my plan.

At twelve that night the knock came at the door, the queen answered the
door, it was Suzette and she was obviously under some kind of spell. She
thought the queen was me, Suzette then said. "No more talking the queen
wants you to learn." Then pulls her blouse off revealing a very full ripe
and lovely set of breasts, well there goes my plan, the queen immediately
drops her mouth to a nipple and the three of us are off to the races.

In the morning when we wake in a tangle of arms, legs and other more
intimate body parts Suzette is shocked, having no recollection of the prior
nights activities. The queen laughed saying that's too bad because your
going to be sore for about a week, never saw such a little contortionist
before in my life. Suzette dresses and leaves hurriedly, the queen and I
while away our morning in bed trying to regain some of the positions we had
attained the previous evening. Around noon the queen leaves to get ready for
a performance I'm to give for the full court preceding afternoon tea. My
door is no quicker closed then it is reopened, I turn expecting to see the
queen looking for a stocking or some such when to my surprise in walks the
Royal Witch.

I'm still naked so I don't jump up but inquire as to the visit, she says.
"You've had your warning and your chance to take up with somebody else, but
you turned them both down, now I'll deal with you myself."
I do get up now, angry. 'Was that you with the notes and the spell on
Suzette, you leave that little girl alone you, I won't leave the queen, even
if I did she'd never be with you, she'd rather be with a goat." Let me tell
you something, you never want to piss off a witch. Her eyes flashed she
spoke some mumbo jumbo and all of a sudden I was a goat. Now I'm really mad,
so I start to speak but only bleat, I'm livid so I put down my head and
charge, I want to butt her into the next kingdom but as I try to move I am
frozen to the spot.
The witch stands there gloating at me, then I see a little doubt in her
eyes, she smiles again saying. "Better off not taking the chance that you're
right." She changes me into a frog, picks me up, puts me in her pocket and
takes me down to court, where later I hear the commotion over my
disappearance. Later is the worst part, she goes to the queen's chambers and
casts a spell over the queen, making her think that the witch is Suzette and
they comfort each other for hours. Now the very worst part of all, she puts
me on the queen's pillow without her seeing, when the queen spies me she
freaks, yelling for the royal gardener and huntsman, "Get Rid of this FROG!"

I decided to leave quietly on my own and hopped away off her balcony into
the moat, past the alligators and finding this stream floated deep within
the enchanted forest.

If you liked this story you can find more at my website
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Capsule/3646/



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