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From: apuleius@poboxes.com (Apuleius of Madaura)
Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 314 - February 1, 1999
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-= The New Celestial Reviews #314: February 1, 1999 =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
One night, a few weeks ago, my SO and I went to the Botanic Gardens. During
summer, the admistration organises for movies to be shown on balmy evenings in
the open air. With a good picnic hamper and the sight of fruit bats overhead,
flying home to roost, it makes for a very atmospheric and enjoyable experience.
So there we were at interval, watching the twilight fade into darkness, when
some strange messages began appearing on the screen, in between the ads. At
first they were quotations from various authors on the subject of love, and
I wondered what on earth was being advertised. Then, there was what appeared
to be a letter addressed to "Jane" describing the undying love that someone
felt for her. Suddenly it was replaced with a large inscription, visible to
all present, which proclaimed: "I love you Jane Stevens. Will you marry me?"
At this point there suddenly appeared a spotlight, focusing upon a couple
about ten metres in front of us. A cry of surprise followed, and the man
went down on his knee and repeated the question. To the wild cheering and
applause of everyone, the woman, in tears, accepted and they kissed.
Why did I bring this up? Well, I could have told you about how we went to
the Botanic Gardens and the screen showed a weird pattern which hypnotised us
into having sex involving multiple partners, an empty wine bottle and the
aforementioned fruit bats, but it wouldn't have been true. My point is that
there are plenty of real life situations which could form the basis for
ASS/M stories, and those stories don't have to be mundane and boring just
because they don't include enthusiastic sex of every position and description.
The better the narrative and technical quality of a story, the more
successful it will be (and not just to the so-called "elite" of ASSM/D - a
dubious concept, anyway).
On to more everyday matters. As everyone who regularly monitors these
newsgroups knows, alt.sex.stories.moderated has started up again after a
hiatus of about a month. ASSM has just passed its second anniversary (the
first posts were on 27/1/97) and I would like to issue a public thanks
to Eli-the-Bearded, who has maintained the group since its inception
with a commitment and consistency that is nothing short of remarkable.
As a repository of spam-free stories, ASSM's importance to the general
growth of Usenet erotica cannot be overstated. Thankyou, Eli.
Unfortunately, just as one service has been restored, another two have
disappeared: ASSTR and Bitbard's site. ASSTR will be back, probably in
February/March, while Bitbard's will not be back, at least in its
present form. Both will be sorely missed for their provision of easy
access to the best stories, as will Bitbard himself, whose quality as an
author and compiler left most of us here standing. As ASSTR was the
primary distribution point for the ASS/M FAQ, I have provided a link
in "Resource Links" to the current version on qz.to. The ASSTR
contributor links at the end of this CR have been retained for
future readers.
I apologise for the slight delay in releasing this edition. Various
committments of both editors required the schedule to be moved forward
a few days.
The list of stories to be reviewed for this issue was finalised before
ASSM was restored, with the result that their dates of composition are
rather varied. In this CR you will find reviews of the only stories
by Deirdre and Delta that were left unreviewed by Celeste, some
notable stories from last year, Blackwind's only "vanilla" story,
two recent ASSD contributions, and a selection of interesting titles culled
from Ole Joe's Guide :-) In the next issue we will resume the normal focus
on current stories. Happy reading.
- Apuleius.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-= Bulletin Board =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
* A message from Homer:
" Come on, ye laggards! The contest for the best story explaining
Celeste's departure from this Review is in full swing. Five judges of
sterling character (everyone that volunteered plus one I oportuned)
have been selected. There have even been some entries! Rumor has it
that more are in the works. Remember, the stories are to be sent to
Celeste, Our Goddess, by February 14, so I will set Feb. 10 as the
last day to receive entries. This will allow for 15-20 seconds
painstaking deliberation over the relative merits of each story.
What more is to be said? Write, edit, and send your entry to Homer
Vargas, the_story_writer@yahoo.com."
* John Dark, former reposter extraordinaire, has compiled a complete list
of *all* Celeste's reviews (editions 1-309) including her descriptions
and the ratings given. Thankyou JD. The links are (arranged by story title):
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year99/19435.txt (stories A-D)
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year99/19380.txt (stories E-L)
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year99/19434.txt (stories M-R)
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year99/19436.txt (stories S-Z)
* People are starting to send in stories to be reviewed. I encourage this,
but instead of sending me the actual story, please send the qz.to or
Dejanews link to it, as that allows me to easily assign it to one of
the reviewers. If you don't know how to find the link please contact me.
* Please request only *one* story to be reviewed per issue. I've had a couple
of cases where people have sent me their complete works and expected all of
them to be reviewed in the next edition of CR. I'm trying to include as wide a
range of voices as possible, and this wouldn't be helped by having many stories
by the same author in the same review. Some people have indicated that sending
stories to CR was the only way they could obtain feedback on their work. If
true, that's really a sad indictment on the readers of ASS/M. When you read
a story you like, tell its author that you liked it! It only takes a minute,
and encourages our hard-working authors to produce new and better stories.
* The CR currently needs proofreaders and authors who want proof
readers, if you fall into either category please email
procyonidae@hotmail.com.
* The CR is always looking for guest reviewers; if you like to read
erotica and you have the ability to form an opinion, you're qualified.
Please contact apuleius@poboxes.com.
* If you'd like your story reviewed in the CR simply place <*> in the
subject line or email a link to the story (qz.to or Dejanews) to
apuleius@poboxes.com. Stories which have not been emailed and do not include
the <*> tag may still be reviewed. If you have a philosophical objection to
being reviewed, simply put somewhere in your disclaimers that you don't want
the story reviewed.
* For all general correspondence regarding CR, please contact
apuleius@poboxes.com.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
=-= Resource Links =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
* ASSM -- Every story published to alt.sex.stories.moderated
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/windex.html
* ASS FAQ - Frequently asked questions about alt.sex.stories
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18173.txt
* Free Story Site Index -- a guide to amateur erotica sites.
http://annejet.pair.com/fs-faq.html
* ASSTR -- Free web host for erotica authors
http://www.asstr.org [down until March]
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-= ~ Index ~ =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
~ The Reviews ~
"The Gorgon's Kiss" by Cobalt Jade
{period, Classic Greek} Homer: 9, 9, 9
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=331478535
"Seeing Stars" by Poison Ivan
{} Rosemerry: 10,12,9
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=410647452
"The Cafeteria" by Delta
{} Nick: 10, 8, 6
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=246986542
"Finally" by Blackwind
{Shameless romance} Phil: 8, 7, 5
ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Stories_Sorted_by_Author/Blackwind/Black
wind.Finally.txt [currently down]
"In Your Eyes" by Paddy Toute
{} Jean: 7, 4, 4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/2090.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=257001870
"'La Charmeuse' Celebration" compiled by Mat Twassel
{anthology inspired by painting} MichaelD: No numeric
ratings
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=431551993
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=431551997
"Bedtime Stories with Kelly 13" by Kelly Adams
{Stroke, Series} MichaelD: 10, 7, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year99/19272.txt
"The Shower" by Tiramisu
{} Holerider: 5, 4, 2
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17815.txt
"Rebecca" by Tiramisu
{Mdom seduction} Dave437: 9, 8, 7, 10, 8/6; overall 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=421747623
"Teenage Enlightenment" by Dek
{First time} Sundance: 8+, 7, 7
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=427262272
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=432305556
"Virgin, 16" by Plainman
{} Tiramisu: 7, 6, 5
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=231080429
"Witch" by Deirdre
{} Tiramisu: 7, 5, 7
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=319235328
"Blackmailing the Queen" by Stuart Finkelstein "The Fink"
{High school stroke} Miles: 10, 8, 8
http://www.qz.to/erotica/various/blackmail.html
"Family Fun" by Eros
{Looooong incest} The Gnu: No numerical ratings
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4492.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4493.txt
"How too rite gud" by MichaelD
{satirical essay} Apuleius: No numerical ratings
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=426909312
"Songs of thanks and praise" by Teresa Birdsong
{heartfelt introduction} Apuleius: 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15621.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=395029993
"The Stone of the Phalanx" by Frederic Van de Velde
{stupid fantasy} Apuleius: 3, 2, 1
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18025.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=422433603
"Orange County Babylon" by MichaelD
{teen soap opera} Apuleius: 10, 9, 9
[see review for all 24 links]
~ Celestial Repost Project ~
Celestial Reviews 3 - July 15, 1995
"Showoffs" by Backrub
{hot hetero sex} Celeste: 10
http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=347596867
"Piss Mom" by Unknown Author
{Urination pedophilia Incest} Celeste: 2.5
[lost]
"Star Trek: The Next Fornication" by JRDIV
{Sci Fi Humor - all kinds of sex} Celeste: 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=315128752
"Kathy" by The Bear
{adult-teen romance} Celeste: 10
http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=351125901
"Study Cubicle" by Backrub
{Hot hetero romance in college library setting} Celeste: 10
[lost]
"Steven After Hours" by Backrub
{hot sex with a superstud} Celeste: 10
http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=388659417
"Comeuppance 1.0" by Wiley03
{rape} Celeste: 3
[lost]
"Movie Madness" by Unknown Author
{Porn movies and hetero sex} Celeste: 7.5
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=406597414
"Surprise" by Doug Stewart
{Rape humiliation incest} Celeste: 5
[lost]
"Bound for her Glory" by Writer1037
{Hair fetish} Celeste: 9.5
[lost]
"Summer" by Jacques
{Adolescent male mast & humor} Celeste: 8
[lost]
"Short 10.0" by Wiley03
{rape} Celeste: 5
[lost]
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-= ~ The Reviews ~ =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"The Gorgon's Kiss" by Cobalt Jade
Email: cobaltjade@aol.com
Review by: Homer Vargas
Well, any woman, even a sexy Amazon, who would dare say, "I knew
that Homer's tales of nymphs and chimaerae were patently false,"
pretty much has it coming to her. And those of you who remember
what happens to a mortal who even looks at a Gorgon, much less
seduces one, will not be surprised at what happens to the
beautiful but full-of-herself Hippolyte.
That should be enough plot summary, but the beauty of the story
is the authentic period feeling and realistic description of
place and space. As in any good story in which the denouement
is foreseeable, there is a lot of foreshadowing - the Gorgon's
name is Medusina and the townsfolk "superstitiously" believe she
is a Gorgon. The sex is elegantly described, but not very
arousing. Hippolyte's character is well drawn, but that of
Medusina and her motives are less convincing.
Still, this is mere quibbling. This is a superb story with rich
vocabulary and imagery. Read and enjoy it.
[A note from Homer regarding the "Athena" rating: "No story that
fails to separate sentences with *two* spaces can get a 10 from
Homer.]
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) FF, period
~> Athena (Technical and Grammar) 9
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 9
~> Homer (Appeal to Reviewer) 9
~> Links:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=331478535
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"Seeing Stars" by Poison Ivan
Email: poisoniv1@hotmail.com
Review by: Rosemerry
This beautiful tale of two lovers finding a place of beauty
within a difficult world gave me one overwhelming impression:
reality. I've never been inside the head of such a realistic
character. I was left amazed and delighted, with the conviction
that there really are people out there who think like that, in
which case we ought to have more faith in the species.
To come down to a more earthly level of reviewing... this story
is told in first person, which is often hard to support, but
which Ivan carries off quite well. I felt we learned a great
deal about his main character within a short time. The author
also drew the reader deeply into the story by describing a less-
than-satisfactory experience, which left us hoping a better one
was coming along. To reward us for our willingness to be led,
we are taken along inside the main character's head as he gets
with his lady, and a wonderful trip it is.
This story is important in a literary sense, I feel, because
it's a terrific example of showing a *realistic* sex scene (or
several) without sacrificing arousability. This isn't too easy
to do, but read "Seeing Stars" and you'll see that it's worth
the effort. Thank you, Poison Ivan!
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre): M/F
~> Athena (Technical and Grammar): 10
~> Venus (Plot and Character): 12
~> Rosemerry(Appeal to Reviewer): 9
~> Links:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=410647452
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"The Cafeteria" by Delta
Email: delta@nym.alias.net
Review by: Nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk
First off I should say that it is a serious piece written by
someone who knows his/her craft reasonably well, as opposed to
cheap stroke. I say this to mitigate what follows, because I
really did not get on with this story. I do, however, want to
avoid leaving the reader with the idea that it is a piece of
crap which it isn't.
In thinking about why I disliked the story, it seems to me that
the main reason is that I did not get on with the central
character. Jean is a 45 year old woman who meets a young man in
a cafeteria and is told by him that she has a tremendous
brilliance shielded by blinds which she has put up around
herself. Great, I say, but what? It is clear that it has
nothing to do with self-sufficiency because she doesn't like the
idea that she has to tear down the blinds herself and that no
one else is going to do it for her. So? So, it turns out that
after a long weekend of therapy she can look at herself in the
mirror and feel good about the way she looks.
In short there wasn't any substance to this "brilliant light",
it is all based on vanity. How, I wondered, would she feel in
ten years when the grey hairs became unstoppable and the crows
feet made themselves obvious? What would this light consist of
if she were scarred or disabled? This woman is 45 years old and
I didn't feel that the ability to adopt the attitude of a bimbo
was a step forward for such a woman.
Maybe this made me more judgmental of the stories other flaws.
It seemed to me that it was rather ponderously written. The
male character's name (Dream - yes Dream!) was little more than
an obvious device to underline his somewhat mystical quality to
Jean. Also the sudden appearance of a work colleague (Peter),
who was a rather convenient widower, for the sole purpose of
asking her out at an opportune moment, just seemed too
artificial.
This story is some 18 months old, so if Delta reads this I hope
it doesn't hurt too much and that he/she has moved on to write
much better stuff (though I confess to not having read any).
~> Pandora (M/F F - reawakening)
~> Athena (Technical and Grammar) 10
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 8
~> Nick(Appeal to Reviewer) 6
~> Links:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=246986542
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"Finally" (MF, cons, romance) by Blackwind
Email: an138013@anon.penet.fi (defunct)
Review by: phil@xanadu2000.freeserve.co.uk
'Finally' is written in pure True-Life Romance style, using a
number of standard romantic themes - the close childhood
friends, Kim and Rob, he helping her through various crises,
unwilling to risk spoiling their platonic friendship by having
sex, although that is what she, at least, ardently desires. Rob
plays the perfect knight in shining armour by rescuing her from
a rapist, then takes her home and cares for her, chastely
holding her through the nights. Finally, they decide to try sex
while remaining friends, and of course it is wonderful, despite
her virginity. One assumes - hopes, for this is a feel-good
story - that they Lived Happily Ever After.
"Her full lips were pressed tightly together, holding back the
pain of her broken heart." gives the flavour of the writing.
With the right cast it would make a passable movie. I can just
see some Hollywood hunk intoning, "Yes. Fucking is just sex.
Raw animal lust. Making love is...it's feeling. It's two
hearts and minds coming together as well as two bodies. It's
bringing pleasure to each other in the strongest way--not just
physically, but mentally as well."
The writing is generally clean, but with a little confusion of
"its" and "it's". The sex is lyrically described, although I
felt that the couple achieved orgasms rather too easily to be
realistic. Maybe I'm an old cynic. Read it if you want your
heart, and perhaps your panties, warmed.
~> Athena (Technical/grammar) 7
~> Venus (Plot/description) 8
~> Phil (Erotic effect on reviewer) 5
~> Links:
ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Stories_Sorted_by_Author/Blackwind/Black
wind.Finally.txt [currently down]
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"In Your Eyes" by Paddy Toute
Email: Paddy22@aol.com
Review by: Jean <jw.revu@demon.co.uk>
At the moment I'm reading a recently posted series called My
Inheritance; said inheritance being a mind control formula.
It's a steamy, romantic, intelligently handled variation on the
MC theme by E. Z. Riter. I've also added to my archive the
stories posted by Susan - Waterfall, French Maid, etc - good,
passionate stories all. Nor are these the only stories I've
admired recently - although the spam on ASS makes them harder to
find now that ASSM is dormant.
I mention these stories to show that I do have a positive side
because this short vignette by Paddy Toute is the third story
I've reviewed since the re-emergence of the Celestial Reviews
and I'm afraid that once more I must be less than enthusiastic.
In fact if you took the Catherine Deneuve analogy from my first
review - classy, technically good, but lacking passion - and
added the Amadeus analogy from my second - too many words,
though in this case they are in the right order - you would have
a perfect review for this story.
The plot is minimal - a couple in a restaurant go back to her
place for 'dessert' which he eats while she is perched on her
motorbike - but the author's use of language isn't; never using
one word where several can be fitted. Sometimes the choice of
words is awkward, almost as if written or translated by
computer, "I gently repel you far enough to remove the dress."
With no dialogue, characterization must be gleaned from his
choice of wine or her preferred motorbike, and it came across
like a late-night adult film - glossy, but insubstantial. Sorry
Paddy but I vote this a 'Miss'.
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) F/M - short story
~> Athena (Technical and Grammar) 7; some errors, not too
intrusive.
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 4; minimal
~> Jean (Appeal to Reviewer) 4; over-elaborate, fussy style
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/2090.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=257001870
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"'La Charmeuse' Celebration" compiled by Mat Twassel
Email: mmtwassel@aol.com (Mmtwassel)
authors: multiple
Review by: MichaelD
Reviewing an anthology can be a dicey proposition. With
multiple authors, you have multiple voices, and it's difficult
to fairly characterize the work as a whole. Do you review each
work individually? Or do you try to treat the work as a unit,
hoping you can encapsulate what each author is trying to say? I
considered declining this assignment, returning it to Apuleius
with a smack upside the head for giving me something this
difficult. But I decided to give it a shot.
"La Charmeuse" (French for "the enchantress") is a painting by
Charles Gleyre, an English impressionist who lived from 1808 to
1874. Gleyre's chief claim to fame is not his work but his
studio, where his students included Charles Monet, Pierre
Auguste Renoir, and Alfred Sisley.
The painting shows a nude woman in three-quarter profile,
standing in a dark wood. She plays some sort of flute or
panpipe, as if she is summoning something from the forest. Over
her far shoulder is a long cascade of cloth, perhaps a robe she
has just removed. We see only a portion of her face, and a long
mane of wavy red hair (tied in a knot just below her neck) flows
down her back. She is not quite sexy in the late-1990's sense--
her breasts are too small and her buttocks too pronounced. She
possesses that full quality, the embonpoint (a snooty art-
connoisseur term for plumpness) that was the feminine ideal in
the 19th Century and which characterizes the women in the
paintings from that era. (Though Mat has a copy of the work on
his site, there is a much clearer image at
http://www2.iinet.com/art/19th/english/misc/gleyre1.jpg.)
On New Year's Day, Mat sent a scan of this work to a number of
authors with a request that they provide their own literary
impression of the woman in the painting. The ones who responded
were Crimson Dragon, DG, Janey, Malinov, Mark Aster, Peter
Principal, Poison Ivan, Teresa Birdsong, V. Kimmel, and Vickie
Tern.
These impressions vary quite widely. We have several poems, a
dialogue, a retrospection, a dream, a couple of quick snippets,
and a short story (which I am fairly certain is Malinov's) that
offers one possible version of how Gleyre came to create his
work. Only a few can be called sexually explicit.
The first sense I get from this collection is the one Mat
undoubtedly intended: that different people will take different
impressions away from the same work of art. Obvious enough and
not worth a lot of discussion.
It is striking, however, how different some of these impression
are. A few comparisons:
As the smell of her cunt,
Freshly fucked, juicy lipped,
Sultry details of Emma
I won't capture as such
Maybe some man paying
To fondle the flesh
I contracted to see
And when he came to the edge of the clearing and saw her, he
could only stand back in the shadows, silent and motionless.
The woman, tall and graceful and splendorously naked, stood
facing away from him, her long red hair hanging down her back,
knotted loosely in the middle. . . . She looked so much like
Maggie that he had to bite his lip to avoid crying out to her.
She raised the flute to her lips and lightly blew. The music
was exquisite, echoing through the rapt forest. First one foot,
then the other. She moved to the sound of her music. As she
danced carefully down the forest paths, the wolf followed.
What is the overall impression I get? I was not familiar with
"La Charmeuse" (or Gleyre, for that matter) before reading it,
and I was surprised, when I finally looked it up, how clear an
image of it I already had in my head. I was reminded of
something Picasso once said, how he often wondered, when reading
a particularly lush description, if the author really wished he
were a painter. I don't know whether these authors share that
wish, but together they have created something worth reading.
Standard numerical ratings really are not appropriate for
something like this, but some of the individual works I would
give very high scores to. I would suggest reading the
compilation first, then looking up the picture. Then go back
and read it again to see whether your impressions have changed.
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre): (MF, rom, voy, Fdom)
~> Links:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=431551993
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=431551997
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"Bedtime Stories with Kelly 13" by Kelly Adams
Email: kelly_h_adams@hotmail.com
Author website: /~Kelly/ (currently
down along with the rest of ASSTR)
Review by: MichaelD
Well, enough of all that high culture. As a character in one of
my stories once said, too much literature isn't good for you. A
steady and exclusive diet of fine prose will poison the soul as
quickly as a stack of tabloid newspapers. The same, I think,
goes for erotica.
We all have our guilty pleasures. I once counted participation
in the ASS* newsgroups as one, but the longer I hang around
here, the less it seems like a diversion and the more it feels
like a legitimate hobby. Perhaps, as our resident enfant
terrible is fond of pointing out, some of us (myself included)
have begun to take ourselves too seriously. In the interest,
therefore, of deflating myself a bit, let me make a confession.
I never miss an installment of Kelly's Bedtime Stories.
Fine fiction, this is not. If you have never read one of these
vignettes, it takes but a few seconds to figure out what is
going on. The stories are told, as the title implies, by Kelly
to her unnamed and never identified lover. I have never quite
been able to fathom the parameters of their relationship, but
does it matter? No.
As each story opens, Kelly arrives to regale her paramour with
tales of her wild sex life, some recent and some not. Kelly
lives with a Nordic goddess named Gretchen, and the two of them
fuck each other, their friends, their acquaintances, and perfect
strangers with abandon scarcely equaled in these newsgroups or
elsewhere. Not only that, but the heat generated in the telling
normally leads to Kelly and her lover coupling in one fashion or
another, often right in the middle of the story. These
encounters are told in the second person singular, which I
normally find profoundly annoying, but here, for some reason, it
doesn't bother me.
This particular piece is typical for the series. Kelly arrives
at her lover's house and models a string bikini. This leads, as
her outfits often do, into her story: a day she and Gretchen
decided to go sunbathing. They find a deserted spot on their
favorite lake, which proves to be private property. The owner's
daughter and her boyfriend appear, and as might be expected, the
four of them end up having sex. Kelly and another girlfriend of
hers return to the spot later and also get it on by themselves.
During this tale, Kelly and her lover break several times for,
in order, a tit-fuck, straight sex, and finally a blow job.
If "'La Charmeuse' Celebration" is a cut of filet mignon, then
Kelly's Bedtime Stories are unquestionably a cheeseburger. But
what a cheeseburger it is! This is no bland, tasteless hockey
puck from McDonald's. No, this a rich, juicy, supremely
satisfying offering, a paragon of junk food, hot off the grill
from your favorite burger stand. The characterizations, except
of Kelly herself, are thin, and the plots pure stroke. But the
writing is crisp, clean, and largely free of errors, and more
importantly, I have never been able to get through one of these
stories without having to shift in my seat to accommodate my
erection. Stroke fiction, absolutely, but as the genre goes you
would be hard pressed to find better.
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre): MF, MFFF, FF/Stroke
~> Athena (Technical and Grammar): 10
~> Venus (Plot and Character): 7
~> MichaelD (Appeal to Reviewer): 10
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year99/19272.txt
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"The Shower" by Tiramisu
e-mail: tiramixu@yahoo.com
reviewer: holeridermcguire
Tiramisu has given us a relatively short story in "The Shower."
Aside from one or two paragraphs at the beginning, it doesn't
really beat around the bush, instead getting straight to the
sex, if you could really call it that.
This story just isn't very good. It's a step above a Penthouse
letter, but not two. I don't know how the reading comprehension
levels go, but I'd probably place this around the fifth or sixth
grade. An example:
"She wanted him inside her now. She knew she would come again.
But he was too close. He wouldn't be able to last. It could
wait."
No character has an identifiable personality, and the
"background" at the beginning reads like it was pasted on as an
afterthought. The dialog is stilted to the point of near-
unreadability. I know it is hard to write convincing pillow
talk, as inflection and the like don't come through easily, but
at least some effort has to be made.
If you don't mind a severe case of IDCWHTAOTP(*) and are
interested in mutual masturbation in a shower, this story might
be worth a look. Otherwise I wouldn't bother. Sorry, but
that's how I see it.
(*) I don't care what happens to any of these people
~> Athena: 5 (good spelling, but poor punctuation)
~> Venus: 4 (insert tab A into slot B; repeat)
~> HoleRider: 2 (like imagining your puppy getting run over)
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17815.txt
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"Rebecca" by Tiramisu
Email: tiramixu@yahoo.com
Reviewed by: Dave437
The quality of writing in this story is quite good. There is
excellent character development of the female character, but
very minimal of the male character. The settings of the scenes
are well done but failed to stay actively visual through the
last of the story, although they are very good at the beginning
of the story.
The story is very erotic, but much more so for a female (I have
two females who assist me in the reviews - both are professional
writers). My co-authors could easily identify with Rebecca,
while I had difficulty identifying with Jason.
Technical quality: very good: 9 out of 10
Creativity and Originality: good 8 out of 10
Character: Above Average - but male character development needs
expansion - 7 out of 10
Plot: Excellent 10 of 10
Erotic content: Above Average - for Females = 8 for males = 6
I would rate this story an overall 8 out of 10, a good story for
the female audience and males who are imaginative enough.
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) MF, Con, Mdom, F solo
~> Links:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=421747623
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"Teenage Enlightenment" by Dek (mf 1st)
Email: dekstories@hotmail.com
Review by: Sundance (sundance69@hotmail.com)
This author's first attempt tells the story of Brian, 17, and
Michelle, 16, and their first sexual encounter. The first part
focuses on some heavy petting at a movie theatre, while the
second installment details how Brian takes Michelle's virginity.
The author has made a sound attempt at a first story, creating a
detailed piece that is reasonably well edited and, for the most
part, grammatically sound. Brian and Michelle seem interesting
and have potential, even though the attention applied to overall
character definition is limited.
In my opinion, the author focused excessively on the sex, but
this is not uncommon for a first time effort, especially
considering that it is a posting to alt.sex.stories.*. For
example, I think more attention to the character's relationship
and emotions as they got closer to the big event would have
added realism. Instead, the focus was mainly on in-depth
descriptions of their anatomy and the acts they were engaged in.
More dialogue would have helped tremendously. It was almost
non-existent.
The author closes by saying that this might be a series. As
mentioned, there is potential, but to be appealing as a series
will require branching beyond just sexual encounters and more
into the lives of the two main characters.
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre)
~> Athena (Technical and Grammar) 8+ (Some minor technical
issues.)
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 7 (Characters were ok,
plot was non-existent.)
~> Sundance(Appeal to Reviewer) 7 (Not a big fan of stroke
stories.)
~> Links:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=427262272
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=432305556
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"Virgin, 16" by Plainman
email: an10176@anon.nymserver.com
reviewed by: Tiramisu
This story begins with a conversation between two friends,
Princess and Judy. Judy says she knows Princess very well, so
Princess challenges Judy to tell a story about Princess. Judy
does so, casting herself in the role of Princess as narrator - a
story within a story.
As I read the story the first time, I wondered if there was a
reason why the story was constructed as it was. Was Judy's
"Princess" story the real story, or was it truly a story within
a larger story? Yes, I learned, it was a story within a larger
story.
Unfortunately, this is difficult to do, and I think the author
didn't quite succeed.
First, the set up was complicated. It's easy to lose track of
who's telling the story, and what was fantasy or fact in the
Princess story.
Second, because of the way narrator Judy as princess tells the
story it feels more like "tell" than "show", violating the
"show, don't tell" principle. In Judy's "Princess" story, there
are some interesting fantasies and some pretty hot scenes, but I
felt like someone was telling me about them, when I wanted to
feel like I was there, seeing it.
Third, the work was too ambitious. There's just too much, and
it's not all developed as well as it might have been. I would
have rather seen the author try to do less but do it more
deeply.
Okay, this all sounds pretty critical and negative. I hope the
criticism is helpful to the author, who may agree or disagree
with my comments. I would add that the story was generally well
written, and fairly interesting. I did enjoy reading it, and as
I said, there were some hot scenes and interesting fantasies.
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) mf, spank, teen, inc?
~> Athena (Technical and Grammar) 7
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 6
~> Tiramisu (Appeal to Reviewer) 5
~> Links:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=231080429
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"Witch" by Deirdre
Email: none current
Review by: Tiramisu
It's difficult to adequately review this story without giving
too much away, but I'll do my best. Suffice it to say that
Deirdre often writes stories with surprising twists and turns
and this story is no exception.
This story is short and worth reading. However, it is a repost
of a Deirdre story from 1996, and it is not up to the level of
writing that earned Deirdre several spots in Celeste's top 100
for 1995.
The story is really in two parts, with no indication that you
are moving to "part two" or any indication that weeks or months
have passed until you get into the second paragraph of "part
two".
The story begins with the unnamed narrator on his knee,
proposing to Rachel, promising to do anything she wants. "You'd
do anything for me?" she asks. He agrees and she takes him...
Well, you'll have to read the story.
The beginning of the story is exciting and well done. He
wonders where she is taking him, what he will have to do for
her, etc.
However, in the second part of the story, we never see Rachel
again. He never thinks about her again, and this is not
explained. I think this is a serious flaw in the plot/character
development. It seems as if the writer has forgotten about
Rachel and decided to write a different story.
Regarding the technical aspects of the story, there are a number
of what I'll call typos. Perhaps something was lost in the
reposting. There are also a rather annoying number of words
encased in *asterisks*. Obviously, this is a
server/format/compatibility issue, but whether quotes or
italics or something else was intended, I felt the use of this
technique was overdone.
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) MF rom, MM, BDSM, coercion
~> Athena (Technical and Grammar) 7
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 5
~> Tiramisu (Appeal to Reviewer) 7
~> Links:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=319235328
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"Blackmailing the Queen" by Stuart Finkelstein "The Fink"
email: sf20+@andrew.cmu.edu (defunct)
Reviewed by: Miles Naismith mnaismith@hotmail.com
This is an old story, one that I had first read long ago when
modems were even more tediously slow than now. When ASSM took
an hiatus, our new editor included in his assignments some
stories of historical interest.
By design or coincidence, he chose one for me that is a
quintessential ASS story. Blackmailing the Queen begins with
the narrator taking his (Nikon, of course) camera to the local
lovers lane to shoot some night sky shots for his high school
photography class. By coincidence, Ann, the "Queen" of the
school's social elite, of which our narrator is not a member, is
observed (and photographed) trading a blow job for cocaine.
Soon Ann is paying for this lapse in judgment by entertaining
our narrator in the conveniently unused chauffeur's quarters
over her garage. After exhibiting token reluctance, she is
quickly converted to our narrator's figurative sex slave after
being brought to orgasm by swallowing his ejaculate during the
first forced blow job. A couple of fucks later, and she's his,
body and soul. Naturally this process is aided by her awe of
his "huge" cock, upon which she shortly bestows a pet name.
After the two have enough sex together, Ann helps him seduce her
bi-curious girlfriend who has had a thing for Ann. The
girlfriend is also hypnotized by his cock, and gives up her
virginity to him.
The brief description above can permit the deduction that this
story serves up a good few of the all time greatest cliches of
ASS, and that deduction would be correct. Nevertheless, if you
can get by the patent improbabilities and fantasies, the story
itself is well told, grammatical, and better written than the
average ASS effort. If pure male fantasy stroke stories are to
your taste, this is a good one. I can get into a good stroke
story now and then (I've even written them), but I find this
story a bit puerile. Given authors like Delta, Bronwen, Janey,
and Poison Ivan, as well as many other accomplished writers on
ASSM, I personally would look for their work in preference to
this story.
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) MF, FFM High School
~> Athena (Technical and Grammar) 10
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 8
~> Miles (Appeal to reviewer) 8
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/various/blackmail.html
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"Family Fun" by Eros
Email: none
Reviewed by: The Gnu
The story is to be classed as incest, Fm, Ff, ff, Mf, MF, and
possibly others I've overlooked. Those under 18 shouldn't
really be encouraged to read "FF," even though the damned thing
is so poorly written that those under 18 would seem to be the
target audience. It is full of errors in English, and hasn't
properly been run through the spell-checker, still less
proofread. 'Eros' has a great deal of fun inventing new and
novel words for us to consider as erotic terms: an example is
"cuntlips." He considers that a male, to be sexually effective,
needs to have a ten-inch cock; only then can he satisfy a woman.
There is such a thing as foreplay, but damned little affection,
and no afterplay involved in lovemaking.
The final criticism of this story is that it is overlong. Its
hundred-and-one chapters could serve as a model to aspiring
writers of what "too long" really means. If Eros had eliminated
about ninety of those chapters, and a few misconceptions,
"Family Fun" could be a good erotic story. As it is, it's a
damned bore. Oh, and there are thousands of words in the
language which can be used to describe balling, and some are
funny, some are arousing, and others are ... unusual in the
circumstances.
Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4492.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4493.txt
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"How Too Rite Gud" by MichaelD
Email: michaeld38@aol.com
Review by: Apuleius
This isn't a story (so I'm not going to assign ratings), but a short satirical
essay. The title is presumably a parody of Michael K. Smith's "How To Write
Stories Good", which still remains a basic source of information for new
authors. Here we have a point-by-point description of how to write "quality"
erotica: "Good grammar is for sissies. The only people who care about
grammar are teachers and those clueless geeks in your English class who were
home studying when you were out trying to get laid."
I'm glad this wasn't posted to alt.sex.stories, because, judging from the
quality of some of the stories found there, a few people would take it
completely seriously.
~> Link:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=426909312
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"Songs of Thanks and Praise" by Teresa Birdsong
Email: poat98@hotmail.com
Review by: Apuleius
This story was meant to be part of the the third Solstice gathering
of ASSM writers. Unlike the previous two Solstice events, organised by Malinov,
this one never seemed to get off the ground, which is a pity considering the
high calibre of this story.
Teresa's work is the kind of story that certain people in ASSD would view with
contempt, because it has no sex in it (and therefore the author is supposedly
being "pretentious"). I, for one, enjoyed something like this amidst the usual
"Bobbi's Friends {MF Mf mF Ff ff mc nc inc}" story headers.
The author arrives at an outdoor writer's gathering, where she tells a story
concerning a medieval troubadour who chances upon a literary group and sings
for them. There's a nice symmetry between the "story within a story" and its
surrounding framework, and I am already predisposed to liking anything
with vaguely historical, musical, or quasi-religious elements.
It's nice to know that people are still writing stories like this.
~> Athena (technical quality) 10
~> Venus (plot and character) 10
~> Apuleius (appeal to reviewer) 10
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15621.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=395029993
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"The Stone of the Phalanx" by Frederic Van de Velde
Email: enterprise1701_d@yahoo.com
Review by: Apuleius
I'll get straight to the point. This is one of the most appalingly bad stories
it has been my misfortune to encounter on these newsgroups. It is so bad that I
initially thought the author was intending some kind of parody, but it does
seem to be intended in all seriousness.
Frederic Fromthefield [sic, an obvious translation of the author's surname]
is a 15-year-old supposed "genius" with an IQ "off the scale". It's off the
scale all right, just in the wrong direction. Travelling over the Pacific
Ocean, Fred's plane crashes into an island, where our hero discovers the
first of three stones granting their owner miraculous powers. Naturally
enough, Frederic uses it to improve his relations with those of the opposite
sex.
What follows is a ridiculous melange of situations involving Knight Rider,
Star Trek, Star Wars, Lara Croft, Teri Hatcher and Gillian Anderson.
Insufferably puerile, laughably incompetent and utterly contemptible, this
story plumbs new depths in downmarket dross. How's this for anatomical
(in)accuracy: "Daphnix fucked her brains out for at least 10 minutes before
Frederic asked him to halt for a moment, so he could enlarge Daphnix's cock for
an additional 20 centimeters. Daphnix continued his assault, but this time his
cock-head was pushed inside her womb and touched the back of it."
Technical quality is substandard, with the usual confusions regarding its/it's,
to/too, of/off etc. There are no line-breaks between paragraphs, and each
chapter has HTML code at the end of it from Simon bar Sinister's Mind Control
Archive. In the latest posting the line breaks are incorrect and there are
"=20" codes at the end of each line.
This may sound like an illogical thing to say, but this is the kind of story
that gives ASS/M a bad name. If new readers arrive and select this rubbish
instead of "Power and the Word" or "Strip Chess" or whatever, what sort of
impression will it give to readers who want more than neverending fuckfests?
They'll retreat to web-based sites like Green Onion's and ASS/M will be all
the poorer. In the 1998 Cyrrheal Awards, Lady Cyrrh gave this story the "Stop
Wasting Our Precious Reading Time" award. She wasn't kidding.
~> Athena (technical quality) 3
~> Venus (plot and character) 2
~> Apuleius (appeal to reviewer) 1
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4492.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4493.txt
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"Orange County Babylon" by MichaelD
Email: Michaeld38@aol.com
Review by: Apuleius
Ah, there's nothing like curling up with a good book - or laptop, as the case
may be. That's the problem with long, romantic stories like this one: if you
have a 586K novel, the last thing you want to do is stare at a computer
screen for several hours. Much better to have a printed text, a roaring fire
and someone of the appropriate sex present. I did end up having a little
atmosphere, though, since we had a power blackout because of a thunderstorm,
and so I read one section by the light of candles.
MichaelD has produced some of the most impressive stories to appear in the
past year. They are almost all long, full of intriguing characters and
developments, and technically almost impeccable. A major theme of the author
seems to be teenage sexuality, but he has also branched out into BDSM and
yet stronger stuff ("A Needle Through the Heart", "Subtleties of Justice").
"Muddy Waters" was the subject of a very favourable review by Jaybird in
the previous issue, and "Sunset on Roses" was rapturously received by Bitbard
in CR305.
By MichaelD's own admission, "Orange County Babylon" has proven to be one
of his most popular works since its initial publication in August last
year. The first thing to notice about it is, quite simply, how long it is:
the latest revision was posted in no less than 24 parts, each 20-30K long,
making a total of over 98,000 words. This is the longest work of the author
to date, and the second-longest story I have ever read (the longest being
the unprecedented "Martha Jane" of SJR). In Ole Joe's Guide, the eponymous
author notes that he read it all in one go; that must have been quite an
effort, but fortunately the story divides in half quite well (at the end
of part 12).
The story concerns a 17-year-old student, Jack O'Leary. When his parents are
killed in a car crash, Jack is sent out to live with a widow and her two
teenage daughters, Karen and Kelly. Karen is a member of her school's
cheerleading team, all the members of which decide to lose their virginity
to Jack. Deeply religious, Jack is horrified by these developments but is
unable to stop them due to his own involuntary urges. The girls decide to
"share" Jack between themselves, but things get more complicated when
several develop an emotional attachment to him. The majority of the novel
concerns the development of these relationships.
My immediate reaction upon finishing Orange County Babylon was, "Excellent
story, but what are we supposed to make of it?". In the introduction, the
author says: "This novel...should not be taken too seriously. It is best
described as a silly, sappy, high school soap opera" and further down he
states that "this work is, in many ways, a satire". At first glance it
appears to fufill almost every cliche of ASS/M: the uptight character
giving in to unbridled lust (as typified by the seemingly endless depravity
epics of Zombie Night/The Editor), the cheerleaders, the horny teenagers,
the lesbians, etc. However, the story has a important emotional element
which can't really be dismissed as belonging to a soap opera; there are
moments of real tenderness between characters, resulting in a certain
stylistic disparity.
Because of this juxtaposition, I could never be sure whether the improbable
situations, unlikely coincidences and inconsistencies of characterisation
were weaknesses on the part of the author or satirical send-ups. Knowing
the quality of MichaelD's other work, I always suspected the latter, but
the constant combination of cliche and serious romance proved a trifle
unsettling.
It helps a lot when reading this story if you like football. I don't, and
the lengthy descriptions of Jack's playing of it went largely ignored
(especially since the version played here is different to the American
version).
Readers of this review may be forming the impression that I didn't like this
story very much. That is not true. It is just that I find it easier
(and other reviewers may find this as well) to be more verbose and specific
about what I *didn't* like in a story, rather than point out aspects that
met with especial approval. In fact, I was really impressed by this story.
The ability of the author to sustain interest through 24 parts is
remarkable, and by any measure the story is far and above the ASS/M average.
Technical quality is superb, with only a few misspellings and missing words
scattered throughout this lengthy text.
I would really like to give this story straight 10s, but my small stylistic
reservations preclude that (and the author himself acknowledges some
imperfections in his introduction). However, there is no reason why this
story shouldn't retain its position as one of the most successful ASS/M
novels of 1998.
~> Athena (technical quality) 10
~> Venus (plot and character) 9
~> Apuleius (appeal to reviewer) 9
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18066.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18064.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18080.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18074.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18077.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18065.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18075.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18079.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18087.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18070.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18078.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18083.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18086.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18067.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18068.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18084.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18069.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18076.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18063.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18081.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18082.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18072.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18085.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18071.txt
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=-= Celestial Repost Project =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Celestial Reviews 3 - July 15, 1995 - by Celeste
There are some excellent stories in this bunch. I hope these reviews are
helping you find good stories to read. If any authors want to send me
copies of their stories right before (or as soon as) they post them, this
might enable me to post reviews while the stories are still easily
accessible in the postings.
"Showoffs" by Backrub
Email: bckrub@aol.com
Yesss! This is what sexual fantasy is about. This story describes two female
friends who come on to the hunks doing the gardening, and everyone gets their
brains fucked out. The story is well written and the sex is hot. In real life
there are plenty of good reasons why I myself will never do what the people do
in this story; but that's what fantasy is for. My husband couldn't figure out
why my pussy was so hot two nights ago. I told him, but I didn't let him read
the story until the next evening; but then I understood the bulge in his shorts
when I came into the computer room dressed in my gardening clothes.
Fortunately, I had downloaded the story - otherwise, we'd have had one big bill
for connect time from AOL while he was distracted from the monitor. Two bangs
for the buck! Thank you Backrub!
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 10
~> Links:
http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=347596867
============================
"Piss Mom" by Unknown Author. Peggy is a divorced mother who has to take a
leak in the garden. Since she suddenly realizes that her young son is
hanging out the window watching her and since the sensation of urinating
in the great outdoors is already turning her on, she has a resounding
orgasm while little Johnny watches in admiration. When Peggy goes into
the house to confront her son about the incident, she finds him
masturbating; and so, naturally, she gives him a hand job. Morally
confused, she takes a hot bath; but when she gets out of the tub she finds
Johnny sucking on her panties, which are full of the scent of her recent
orgasm. She joins him in this occupation; but when he asks to see her
naked cunt (which he has already seen in the garden a few minutes
earlier), Peggy's conscience won't permit this; and so she encourages him
to cuddle up to her naked ass instead. And so it goes....
With a title like this, you'd think the story couldn't miss; but it falls
short of greatness. It was a multipart story, and somehow I got only the
first part. But don't bother sending me the rest, unless the plot takes a
dramatic shift. The main reason I'm mentioning it in this review at all
is because this story shows clear signs of being *digitally scanned* from
a published manuscript. (I've learned to recognize this, because some of
my students have tried to plagiarize in this way.) I think the reason the
person who posted this "doesn't know who wrote it" is because the cover
was torn off - the way the bookstores do when they get refunds on cheap
paperbacks they can't sell. What kind of person is this? Senators Exon
and Dole had me expecting good clean perverts; but this jerk doesn't even
respect the copyright law!
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 2.5
~> Links:
(lost)
==========================
"Star Trek: The Next Fornication" by JRDIV. This is a clever satire on
the Star Trek series. I am not a super Trekkie, but you don't have to be
one to enjoy the humor. This story is a good example of mature juvenile
satire in the classic Mad Magazine or Monty Python mold. Amoral people
have sex for stupid reasons, and it's fun to imagine them doing it: " 'Two
blowjobs, a fuck, and an assfuck in one evening. And I jacked off twice,
too,' Wesley muttered." And that was just *before* lunch! The allusions,
metaphors, and similes range from wonderful to interesting: "...her
mini-orgasms exploded like Romulan photon torpedoes against an unshielded
ship."
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 10
~> Links:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=315128752
==========================
"Kathy" by the BEAR. This is a sensitive, well-written story about love
and sex between an older man and his young female friend who becomes his
lover. It contains tenderness, love, commitment and care. In an epilogue,
the author gives the impression that this is based on a true story and
expresses the wish that the two live "relatively happily ever after." I
share that wish.
Since the author obviously wants to apply this to real life, I feel an
urge to express my feelings about the issues he raises. In real life I
have been close friends with a young person that experienced almost
exactly the same relationship as the one described in the story - only it
was a young boy with his kindly and loving teacher. They were eventually
discovered; and the teacher lost his job and the boy is still sexually
confused nearly ten years later. Although some of our society's sexual
taboos are silly and it's exciting to break them, there's a reason behind
some of our taboos. When actions like those of the man in this story
become public and are based on less than perfect motivations, we are
usually shocked an disgusted by the "exploitations" of a "dirty old man."
In my own experiences I have found that I don't always make objectively
wise decisions when I'm naked, aroused, and rubbing my body against
someone; and so having a rule against certain behaviors is a good idea.
In addition, I think I would be legitimately upset if a kindly old man
thought that my husband and I were suppressing our daughters' sexuality
and decided to "set her free." The basic problem is that people with
power over young people need to respect their need for autonomy and
growth; and this rules out pedophilia and incest with young children.
On the other hand, I may be wrong. Some young people may actually find
things like this to be a growth experience. I really do think that
anti-pedophiles (like myself) should consider the possibility that some
people who have sex with young children actually possess some decency and
dignity - instead of just demanding that their cocks be cut off. An
objective reading of a story like this can help us think things out. What
I do know is that I feel lot more comfortable with a great story about
erotic sex among consenting adults (like Backrub's "Showoffs" cited at the
beginning of this review or Sue's "Slippery When Wet," which I reviewed in
Celestial Reviews 2) than with this one. Still, it was an outstanding
story. I think it should be assigned reading for the people over on
alt.sex.wizards or one of the religious groups, where they could use it as
the basis for an intelligent discussion instead of screaming insults at
one another about child molesters.
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 10
~> Links:
http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=351125901
=======================
"Study Cubicle" by Backrub. Just good, clean, hot, heterosexual romance
between a student and an instructor in a library cubicle on a Sunday
morning. Why aren't these people in church!? Actually, I wouldn't be
surprised to find another story from Backrub about a hot couple making it
in a church.
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 10
~> Links:
(lost)
=======================
"Steven after Hours" by Backrub. OK, so I just discovered Backrub, and
this is the third Backrub story I've reviewed in this one set of reviews.
This is the third 10 rating in a row! Do I see a pattern here? Do I
intend to keep reading Backrub stories? Am I asking rhetorical questions?
Actually, at my present level of mature sophistication (yeah!), I would
*not* be interested in having sex with a person as shallow as Steven - a
sexy stud with a nine inch cock who thinks he's God's gift to women just
because he drives them out of their mind with sexual ecstasy while he's
satisfying his own lusts. But in our fantasies we can excuse a few minor
personality flaws. Seriously, if you're a mature person interested in
reading about the romantic relationship of your dreams, you may not like
this story at all. But if you're looking for literate and hot
descriptions of oral, vaginal, and anal heterosexual activity that make it
all sound like a helluva lot of fun, this one's for you.
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 10
~> Links:
http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=388659417
=====================
"Comeuppance 1.0" by Wiley03. In addition to offering a service to the
rest of you, I am trying to expand my own horizons while I read these
stories and write these reviews. And so when I spotted the <*> next to
this story, I decided to review it, even though I don't usually enjoy nc
stories and even though I had given Wiley03 my lowest ever rating for
"eXstacy." I have a bias in my real life - I don't like the idea of using
something beautiful like sex to torture and degrade someone. I don't
think this is just a "lifestyle choice"; I think people who torture others
sexually in real life deserve to be severely punished. But Wiley03 and
others will reply, "But this is *fantasy*, dammit!" I guess I think it
may be just a little bit unhealthy to fantasize about things that would be
really awful ideas in real life.
Having said that, I have to admit that this story was a lot better than
"eXstacy." In my own fantasy life, I really can see how it would be
enjoyable to see a really nasty little bitch get her comeuppance. Its
kinda like Charles Bronson "Death Wish" movies - in real life I doubt that
it would be a good idea to let an emotionally stressed vigilante execute
whoever he thinks deserves to be shot; but I really feel good inside
whenever Bronson blows away one of those slimy bastards. And so, I
suspended my judgment and decided to try to enjoy the story, since Tammy
was obviously a bitch who deserved to be punished for being "petulant,
cruel, and an expert at certain mind-games." However, I would have really
appreciated it if Wiley03 would simply have made Tammy an *adult* sister.
I had the distinct impression that the protagonist enjoyed the rape a
little bit more because Tammy was underage; and that simply wasn't
necessary for the story. I also felt uncomfortable with some of the
specific advice regarding torture (such as what kind of clothespins to use
to inflict the most pain on those tender nipples); but hey - maybe I'm
getting religion or something.
I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that Wiley03 is really trying to
write better. If that's the case, he might like to know that fiancee is
spelled with two e's at the end, unless the rapist really was engaged to a
man. Also, clitoris ends in is, even though cunnilingus ends in us; he
possibly forgot that the former comes from the third declension in Latin
and the latter from the second. If this is confusing, stick with clit.
Finally, I really had trouble with the pronoun references; I sometimes
couldn't determine whether "she" was the victim or the observing
fiance(e). Some of these problems could be solved by having someone else
proofread the story before it gets posted. One good way to accomplish
this would be to find a really nasty bitch (who is of legal age, of
course), tie her up with rope so that all the knots are in the right
places, and then have your fiance(e) read the story out loud while you
screw the hell out of her. (Note the satirical ambiguity of this last
pronoun reference.)
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 3
~> Links:
(lost)
=====================
"Movie Madness" by Unknown author. The boys and girls in a college dorm
argue over the value of porn movies and decide to get together to watch an
X-rated VCR tape together. The value question remains unresolved; but
afterwards, a guy and girl who had previously been "just friends" have a
satisfying sexual experience. Nice story.
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 7.5
~> Links:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=406597414
[badly formatted, but apparently only surviving copy]
=====================
"Surprise" by Doug Stewart. A woman is bound and held captive while her
mother, who is the sex slave of the captors, is forced to perform oral sex
on the daughter, apparently to settle a bet among the captors. The mother
is also forced to submit to humiliation while engaging in oral and anal
sex and to drink the urine of one of the captors. All this may sound
unpleasant; but, much to the daughter's surprise, her mother thoroughly
enjoys it. She was a good sex slave! This story was fairly well written
- it held my attention, even though it disgusted me, while I thought,
"What the hell is going to happen next?" But the style deteriorated later
in the story. In case anyone is wondering whether there are lots of woman
in the world who enjoy this kind of treatment or who admire the men who
engage in it, the answer to both questions is no.
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 5
~> Links:
(lost)
=====================
"Bound for Her Glory" by Writer1037. This is a story about a man who
becomes fascinated with a woman's beautiful hair and works hard to make
that hair a part of his sex life. I guess this would be classified by
some readers as kinky - fetish, light bondage, and female dominance; but
this kind of kinky I can enjoy. It was a sensitive, hot, sexy story. It
made me wish I had that kind of hair to tease my husband with. OK, it
made me think about how it would feel to have someone like Janine caress
my own body with that "lovely brunette mane" while she made me beg for it
by licking and kissing that red hot clitoris that she pushed against my
face.... I'll leave that last sentence there; but I'm afraid it's an
example of why I'm a reviewer and Writer1037 is a writer.
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 9.5
~> Links:
(lost)
=====================
"Summer" by Jacques. This is a story about two boys masturbating
together. The trick is that they do it in plain view of everyone
including the camp supervisor; but no one can tell, because they are far
away and underwater. It never occurred to me that horny adolescent boys
would try something like this. This is not a story that will make you
feel hot and sexy - but it sure did make me laugh.
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 8
~> Links:
(lost)
=====================
"Short 10.0" by Wiley03. This is an extremely vivid depiction of a gang
rape, seen through the eyes of the female victim. It's not a pretty
story, but it certainly held my attention. What irritated me were the
author's references to the "pleasure" the victim felt. Something is
missing here. The other feelings the woman expresses are things that I
can understand - pain, frustration, hatred, anger, etc. But pleasure? I
guess there might be some women or men somewhere in the world who could
derive pleasure from such an ordeal; but the writer owes the readers some
sort of rationale for this irrational reaction. I have known women who
have been raped, and none of them has ever used this word. This is the
third story I've read by Wiley03. I hope he's a nice, athletic guy who
umpires little league baseball for free and helps elderly ladies across
the street. I hope he has a lovely wife whom he treats like a goddess or
that when he jacks off he does so to images of beautiful talk show
hostesses giving him head while he gently fondles their asses and whispers
sweet nothings and helps them come to wonderful heights of sexual ecstasy.
I hope that he has no intention at all of ever acting out any of these
weird fantasies he writes about. (Rating: 5)
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 5
~> Links:
(lost)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
=-= ~ Credits ~ =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Founder:
Celeste
Email: celeste801@aol.com
Editors:
Apuleius
Email: apuleius@poboxes.com
Web: /~apuleius
Roger Raccoon
Email: procyonidae@hotmail.com
Reviewers / Contributors:
Gnuyr
Email: gnuyr2kx@aol.com
Holerider
Email: jamcguir@yahoo.com
Homer Vargas
Email: the_story_writer@yahoo.com
JayBird
Email: j_bird3@hotmail.com
Jean
Email: jw.revu@quihye.demon.co.uk
MichaelD
Email: michaeld38@aol.com
Miles Naismith
Email: mnaismith@hotmail.com
Web: /~mnaismith
Nick
Email: nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk
Web: /~Nick/
Phil
Email: phil@xanadu2000.freeserve.co.uk
Web: http://www.xanadu2000.freeserve.co.uk
Rosemerry
Email: perigryn@earthlink.net
Smoking Mirror
Email: smoking_mirror@hotmail.com
Sundance
Email: sundance69@hotmail.com
Web: http://extra.newsguy.com/~suntales
Tiramisu
Email: tiramixu@yahoo.com
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
=-= Disclaimer =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The editors of this publication wish to make clear that the reviews contained
herein are only the personal opinions of the respective reviewers, and do not
in any way constitute "definitive" assesments of the stories. While the editors
will not intentionally seek out stories with content distasteful to them and/or
the guest reviewers, they reserve the right, as do all ASS/M contributors, to
give their opinion on any story posted to the group. Requests by authors that
their stories not be reviewed will, however, be honoured.
The editors also wish to indicate that any criticism of a story does not imply
criticism of its author, and that anyone is welcome to write an alternative
review for this publication, should they dissent from the opinions expressed
about a particular story. The numerical ratings assigned to most stories should
be understood as subjective evaluations only, and the text of the review is
vital to the understanding of the ratings given.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
=-= End =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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