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Subject: {ASS/M} Nobody's To Blame by Kim (FMM Rom)
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Nobody's To Blame (FMM Rom) By Kim <ghost@nym.alias.net>

There was a hole in the floor with quite a fall below. This would be
tricky. I drew my twin pistols and dropped though the hole. An alarm
started to sound and my heartbeat quickened. I stood up and saw a man
with a club approaching fast. I started pumping bullets into him in a
blind panic. He was almost on me now, swinging his club viciously. I
kept my fingers on the triggers. At last he grunted and collapsed. 

There was another man behind him. I aimed at him, leaping back to get
out of his reach. Nooo! He was a flame-thrower man. I was engulfed in
a ball of flame.   Shit! Reset.

I was once again at the hole looking down. I put the pistols away and
got out my M16. Well if you're gonna play rough with Lara then expect
to get toasted, sucker! I dropped though again and came up spraying
bullets like they were going out of fashion. Clubman never knew what
hit him. Great! "Come on flameman, come meet your maker," I shouted.
He didn't come round the corner this time. Hah, playing coy now, are
we? I ran round the corner letting rip with the M16. He wasn't
there??? I turned round to get another face full of flame.
Goddammit!!! Reset.

"You nearly ready?" Rob asked. I paused the game. I'd been ready for
some time.   I'd just been Tomb Raiding to fill in time waiting for
him. We had a long drive ahead. I wasn't looking forward to it at all.
Funerals are never much fun. If only people could be reset like Lara.

I saved my position and switched off the console and the television. I
gave my hair another quick brush and picked up my bag. Rob set the
alarm and we left. I had become more and more centered on my house. I
didn't like to travel much anymore. I'd seen most of the world in my
youth and had finally kissed my gypsy days goodbye.

Still, when your boyfriend's big sister dies, I guess you can't not go
to the funeral. It would take us most of the day to drive to her
house, but Rob's family were spread far and wide and he was the
nearest. There had been some sort of family schism and Rob's parents
and Samantha, their eldest daughter, hadn't spoken for a long time.
And now she'd died in an auto accident. I wondered how they were
feeling, but I didn't intend to pry. Not my place to. I wasn't even a
member of the family yet.

Rob had arranged the funeral and started to go through her belongings.
Samantha seemed to have been a lonely woman, with few friends, who'd
led a quiet life.   He had asked me to help sort out the rest of her
stuff. I wasn't looking forward to that either.

				   * * *

There weren't many others at the funeral, a few of the children Sam
had taught, and a couple of her fellow teachers. It started to rain
and I raised an umbrella.   The flowers on the coffin flattened under
the pounding. The poor minister had to put away his Bible and recite
from memory, the rain streaking his glasses and running off his
balding head.

The coffin was lowered into the ground. I didn't cry, or even feel
particularly sad.   After all, I had never met the woman, and Rob had
never talked about her much.   They hadn't been close.

I looked up at Rob. His face was gloomy, but he didn't seem too moved.
I wondered what was going though his mind. Regrets, probably. I
decided I would ask him later. I looked around the cemetery. It was
neat and well maintained.   There were worse places to spend eternity.
I saw a man standing over behind some trees. He was hunched over in
the rain with his hands in his coat pockets.   He stared miserably in
our direction.

I nudged Rob and whispered if he knew him, was he a mourner? He looked
at the guy for a few seconds before looking back at the coffin in the
ground. He shrugged and shook his head.

The service was soon over and we thanked the minister for his time and
for standing so stoically in the rain for us. We traded handshakes
with some people we'd never met, and wouldn't likely meet again. I was
glad it was over.   Reminders of your own mortality are never really
welcome. We haven't got that reset button.

We drove to Sam's house. It was small and on the edge of town. Picket
fence, neat yard, small town America. I felt a pang of jealousy, and
sighed. It wasn't my life, and probably never would be.

We would be staying till we'd got things sorted out. The house would
have to be sold. Sam hadn't had any children, so I guessed the money
would go to her parents. I didn't care really, or even want to know. I
got my bags from the trunk and went into the house after Rob. He
always makes me carry my bags. If women want equality then they've
gotta work for it, he says. Damn him.

I made me some tea, and even made Rob some coffee. I dislike the smell
of the stuff, let alone the taste, but I figured he deserved it after
the funeral. We sat and drank in silence. I asked him if he was ok. He
mumbled something about there being so many things left unsaid, that
would now remain that way. He lapsed into silence again and drank his
coffee. I got up and went into Sam's bedroom and looked around. A
double bed, a dressing table, a chair, a night table, and a wardrobe
were the only bits of furniture. I sat down on the bed and picked up
the small teddy bear off the pillow. I sat him on my lap and looked
about the room.

"Where to start, Mr Bear?" I said. He didn't answer. I looked down and
studied him without really seeing him. The memory of the miserable
looking guy in the distance at the funeral came back to me. Who was
he? I should have gone over and asked him if he wanted to join us. Ah
well, too late now, I thought.

I went to place the bear back on the pillow when something tickled the
back of my hand. I turned him over and found a small key dangling from
a thin ribbon round his neck. I looked at the key. It was small and
delicate. Just another mystery. I shrugged and put the bear down.

I found a suitcase in the wardrobe and started to go through her
clothes. I placed the good ones in the suitcase for a charity clothes
closet and piled the other stuff on the floor, ready for the trash. I
liked a pair of her shoes and tried them on, but they didn't fit. I
was glad really, I wouldn't have to face the thought of wearing a dead
woman's shoes.

At the back of one of the dressing table drawers was a vibrator. I
smiled and put it in the trash. It was in another drawer that I found
the diary. It was an expensive leather bound affair with a small lock.
I remembered the key on the bear!

I lifted up the bear and held him up to my face. "So, you were holding
out on me?" He stared back with his glassy eyes, enigmatically. I
didn't try to untie the key, I just used it still attached, hoping
that I didn't choke the poor thing too much in the process.

The diary fell open. I dropped the bear on the bed and flicked the
pages back to the beginning of the book. It was last year's diary. Sam
hadn't filled in every day, but it was pretty full for all that. I sat
down on the bed and started to read.

January 8th A new substitute teacher started at school today. He's
very handsome. Only spoke briefly, but he was nice. Kids were all well
behaved. Must speak to Susan Drake's mother about Susan's dress sense.

January 15th The new guys name is Michael. He's really very nice!!!

January 22nd I asked him out for a drink after school. I didn't think
I had the courage. He said YES! It was really nice. We talked for
ages. He's really considerate and kind.   I like him a lot.

"Wow, you little dark horse you," I said out loud. I closed the diary
and got off the bed. I was supposed to be working after all. I'd save
it for later. I figured Rob would probably like to read it too. We
could read it together, maybe later in bed.   I wasn't sure of the
ethics of reading a dead person's diary, but I was hooked.

				     * * *

Rob hadn't been as keen to read her diary as I thought he might be.
We'd sorted out most of the house's contents and had made arrangements
with a local Realtor to put the house up for sale. Our business there
was almost done. Neither of us wanted to drive back during the night,
so we ended up sleeping in Sam's bed.   Rob wasn't in the mood for any
fooling around, and to tell the truth, neither was I.

I settled into the soft pillows and propped Sam's bear in the crook of
my arm so it could get a good view of the pages too. Once again I
started to read.

January 24th I went out with Mike again. Afterward I invited him home.
He liked the house. We chatted for ages again. I thought he'd stay the
night. He gave me a kiss on the back of my hand when he left. God, I
think I'm in love! After all these years. I can't believe it's
happened to me!

February 4th Mike comes here most nights now. I love to cook him
meals. He says I make the best food he's ever eaten! I've asked him to
move in and leave his hotel.

February 12th I can't believe what he just told me. I feel sick!!!

			     ---- = * * * = ----

It had come as a hammer blow to Sam. Mike had come back with her as
usual after school. She'd cooked them a nice meal and they'd shared a
half a bottle of wine. She could tell something was troubling him. He
was quiet but agitated, struggling with himself over something.

"What ever it is, you can tell me Mike."

"You don't understand. In just over five weeks of knowing you I've...
I've fallen in love with you," he said. Sam already knew, of course,
but it still made her blush. Her stomach started with the butterflies.
It was the first time he'd actually said it. They'd made love for the
first time only the previous week.

"Is that so bad?" she asked. He still wouldn't look at her directly.

"I'm bisexual," he simply said. Sam's mouth dropped open. She didn't
speak, didn't know what to say.

"No you're not," was all she could eventually manage. He stopped
looking at the floor and looked up at her.

"Yes... yes I am, I'm afraid. Before I came here, I'd just ended a
relationship with a man. I'm sorry, I should have told you earlier.
I'll go," he said, getting up from the dining table.

"No!... no don't go. Stay here and tell me everything," she said.

He paused and looked at her. "Are you sure?"

"Please," she said.

"When I was at college I had few friends, I wasn't even sure what my
sexuality was. I fantasized about having both the prettiest girls and
boys in my class. I was so confused," he said.

"And did you?" she asked.

"No, I was too shy. I had a sex-free education," he said, smiling.
"When I started my first teaching job I had a relationship with
another teacher. She was a beautiful person, but she knew I was
different from the average guy. When I told her she didn't freak or
anything she just gradually stopped phoning me. In the end I took the
hint.

"I started to visit the gay bars. All I wanted was casual sex, I
didn't want another relationship. They hurt too much."

"But you did... with this guy," she prompted.

"Yes. We met at one of the clubs. He was just sitting there on his
own. He looked as miserable as I felt. I offered to buy him a drink.
One thing led to another," he shrugged.

"Why did it end?"

"I found out he'd been seeing another guy all along. If he'd told he
was doing that from the beginning I would've understood, but he lied
to me. I found this job was coming up so I left. I thought it'd be for
the best really," he said, sadly.

Sam didn't know what to say. The man she'd fell in love with, this
kind, sensitive, gentle man, was gay. She couldn't help but feel
cheated.

"Don't suppose you want me to stay tonight now?" he asked. She shook
her head. She just couldn't. Everything had changed. She sat there
with her hands clasped tight in her lap and stared at the used plates
on the table. Why her, she thought miserably. It had all been going so
well.

He thanked her for the meal. Before he put his coat on, he bent to
kiss her on the cheek, but she shied away and wouldn't look at him. He
went to the door and looked back at her. "Call me... if you want. I
won't bother you again. If it means anything, I never meant to hurt
you. I'm sorry." He left and pulled the door shut behind him.

Sam pushed the plates to one side and rested her head on her forearms
on the table. She started to cry.

The next day at school they saw each other in the cafeteria at lunch.
She avoided his looks and studiously read a magazine. After classes
she hurried home and tried her best to not think about him. The phone
rang but she ignored it. After a meal that she more avoided than ate,
Sam paced the house listlessly. She rearranged some of her furniture,
then put it all back the way it was. She tried to watch some
television but she couldn't concentrate on it.

The phone rang again, but she ignored it again. She went into her
bedroom and lay on the bed cuddling her bear. She closed her eyes and
tried to drift. All she could think of was Mike as he closed his eyes
and groaned as he came inside her.   She rolled over and sobbed into
the pillow, clenching and unclenching her fists.

Sam shivered involuntarily at the mental vision of Mike kissing
another man. She realized, for some unaccountable reason, the thought
was arousing her. She lay there and considered getting her vibrator.

There was a knock at the door. She got off the bed and went to see who
it was.   She wasn't surprised to see Mike standing there, with a box
of chocolates and some flowers. She opened the door and frowned at
him.

"I... I knew I said I'd leave you alone but... well the thing is... I
can't stop thinking about you... " he trailed off into silence. After
a moments hesitation, he tentatively handed her the huge bunch of
flowers he was holding. She grudgingly accepted them. They were lovely
flowers. "Oh and I got you these, I don't know if you like them or
not," he said, as he offered her the large box of chocolates.

Sam realized she was still clutching her teddy bear in her other hand.
They awkwardly exchanged items, leaving her loaded with gifts and him
standing on the door step holding a teddy bear. After a pause she
started to laugh. He grinned and then started to laugh too.

"Ah, hell... come on in, now you're here," she said, standing back and
letting him in.

That night they made love again. It was wonderful. Afterward she lay
on his shoulder and declared she didn't care about his past. They had
the present and the future, that was what really mattered. He stroked
her hair and stared into the darkness.

For the next three months they were inseparable. The other teachers at
school knew what was going on, but were respectful enough to not make
anything of it.   They were beginning to openly act as man and wife.
Sam had never been happier. She was even considering the possibility
of marriage, maybe even children. Her life was irrevocably changing
for the better, she hoped.

Then sometime during May things changed again. Sam was home alone when
somebody knocked on the door. A young, good-looking man was standing
on the doorstep.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Is Mike here?"

"Er, no he's gone out."

"Can I wait for him?"

Sam frowned. "Does he know you?"

"I'm Tony. I guess you could say I'm your predecessor."

				    * * *

The three of them sat at the dining room table. Sam had opened a
bottle of wine and handed out the glasses. Four months had done
nothing to diminish his feelings for Mike. When he'd found out that
Mike had settled down with a woman, he felt he had to come and meet
her.

"It's over Tony. It was over four months ago. You know that," said
Mike, making a show of holding Sam's hand.

"I know that. I just wanted to drop by and offer my congratulations.
Your mother seems to think it's only a matter of weeks before the
official announcement," Tony said.

"Nobody drives over a hundred miles just to say hello," said Mike.

"When you left I thought 'the hell with you' but after a week I found
myself thinking about you. After a month I knew I had to see you
again. So last week I contacted your mother and found out where you
were," said Tony.

"Things change," said Sam.

"Of course. I really just came to wish you well and hope you're both
happy. Just promise me I can kiss the groom on your wedding day," said
Tony, grinning.

Despite herself, she found she couldn't remain cross with the guy. She
started to grin and then to laugh. Maybe the wine was helping. He was
good looking and he was charming and fun. She couldn't help but warm
to him. She could see why Mike had fallen for him.

The evening wore on. They had moved to the comfortable seats in the
living room and had swapped stories of their pasts and other funny
stories. More wine had been consumed and they continued to chat late
into the night.

Eventually they had to go to bed. Sam made up the sofa into a bed and
they left Tony to sleep on his own. Despite being very tired, and
Mike's assurances that it wasn't necessary, Sam gave Mike a blow job
and then held him tight till they slept.

The next morning Tony brought them breakfast in bed. He'd found a
single rose from somewhere and had placed it on Sam's tray. Mike
laughed and Sam was touched. She kissed Tony for the first time.

They both went to work and left Tony to explore their small town. That
evening saw the continuation of the new-found three-way friendship.
That night Mike proposed to her. She accepted. They didn't have any
champagne, so Tony went out and got them a bottle. They toasted the
event and all three celebrated together.

A week later Sam invited Tony to join them in bed. Mike had told her
he would abide by her decision, and that whatever happened he loved
her. Nothing would come between them and they would live happily ever
after, no matter what.

They all helped each other to remove their clothes. It was fun and
exciting. They stood naked grinning wildly at each other. Sam kissed
them both passionately.   They led her to the bed and the three of
them lay down together. For more than an hour they kissed, cuddled,
stroked, probed, licked, and sucked each other.   Sometimes it was one
on one while the other watched, sometimes all three got lost in a
tangle of legs, arms, pricks and pussy.

At one point Sam found herself sitting back and watching Mike give
Tony a blowjob. She saw that Tony had his eyes closed, lost in the
pleasure. She tapped Mike's shoulder and motioned him to move over. He
gave a last slurp and moved out the way to let Sam take over the task.
Previously, Tony had stubbornly refused to erect with Sam's efforts.
He had apologized but he couldn't help it.   Women just didn't do it
for him. Not being aware of who's mouth was doing the driving, Tony
remained hard. Sam worked her tongue and bobbed her head at a steadily
increasing rate. She was determined that this time she could do it for
Tony.

Her plans were foiled when, as he was getting close, he grabbed her
head. He almost jumped out of bed when he felt whose head he was
holding. His erection disappeared in an instant. Sam and Mike
collapsed in helpless laughter and eventually Tony saw the funny side
of things.

Their little orgy continued into the night.

				    * * *

The unconventional relationship went on uninterrupted for six months.
All three were as close as it's possible to get. The marriage of Sam
and Mike was now only a month away. Tony would be the best man. If the
neighbors suspected what was going on they never mentioned it. Sam was
happier than she could imagine. From being a lonely woman, she now had
two friends and lovers. She was even beginning to bring Tony round to
the view that women weren't so bad as sex partners after all.

She wasn't sure what they would do about the prospect of children, but
they would deal with that when the time came.

Tony had to commute back to the city during the week, but he arrived
ready to party every Friday night. Some days he would surprise them by
turning up mid- week bearing little gifts for them both. Sam loved
both her men very much, and they loved her and each other in equal
measure.

It was around the last days of September that Mike got a bad cough. It
went on for weeks. He didn't seem to be able to shake it. A visit to
the doctor didn't do any good. She just told him to rest. Another week
passed and it still showed no sign of improving. If anything, he got
worse. Strange red spots started appearing down the back of his legs
and across his shoulders. The doctor ordered a full work up at the
hospital.

				     * * *

The three of them sat staring at each other. They were seated at the
dining table in Sam's house that they'd sat around that first night
they had come together, nine months earlier. The results had been
verified for all three of them. They were all HIV positive.

They cried together and got drunk together. They inquired about the
current state of treatment. The prognosis wasn't good. It was still
100% mortality, even if some lucky souls had managed to live more than
ten years with it. Most didn't.   For Mike it didn't take long. The
cough developed into pneumonia and he was diagnosed as having full
blown AIDS within the month.

Tony and Sam held Mike's hands during the final hours. He slipped into
a coma and never came out of it. They both wept as he died.

For a month, Tony and Sam slept together, but they just held each
other, neither being able to perform for the other. In early November,
one fine fall day, Sam kissed Tony goodbye. She didn't go to work. She
drove to the beautiful lake eight miles out of town and sat for an
hour watching the wildlife come and go.

She said a prayer and put the gearshift into drive and plunged the car
into the water. The police recovered the car from the lake three days
later. They notified Sam's brother of her death and asked for him to
come and identify the body.   They didn't even think it was suicide,
just an unfortunate accident. Nobody was to blame.

			    ---- = * * * = ----

November 8th I must make it look like an accident. I don't want the
world to know. I hope there's room in heaven for me beside Mike. We'll
wait for you Tony, I promise.

				   * * *

I closed the diary after that last entry. I was stunned. I'd had no
idea of any of this and I was sure Rob hadn't either. I snapped the
lock shut and put the diary on the floor beside the bed and turned out
the light. Rob was already fast asleep.   I imagined the wild nights
the three of them must have had in this very bed. I wished I'd cried
at her funeral. She had been a remarkable woman, and I so regretted
never having met her. I cried for her now, large silent tears rolled
down my cheeks onto the pillow.

One day I'll let Rob read the diary. But not just yet.


The End.


I would like to thank The Bear and Tom Bombadil for their terrific
help in proofing and offering advice. I'd also like to thank the army
of people who were willing to read and give me feedback on the story,
most notably Bronwin, Uther, Mat, Nick, DG, Frank, Jc, George, Ivan,
and also the many others who just said they liked, or disliked, it.

Finally, at the risk of diminishing the emotional impact that some of
you may be feeling at the moment, perhaps I should point out that it
is only a story. Rob's RL sister is alive and well, and not, as far as
I know, living with two bisexual men <smile>. Some of the above story
elements are true, but not the major part.   So please don't fret
unduly.

Thank you for reading it. If you should feel like telling me what you
thought about it then write me at  Ghost@nym.alias.net  I'll answer
all letters, if I possibly can.

You can read all my past stories at my website, courtesy of the Bear,
at http://www.io.com/~thebear/kimidx.htm  Thanks Bear!


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