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From: "Rebecca A." <cyan@anon.nymserver.com>
Subject: New TG: Marcia and Me 8/?
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Hi

This is only the second story I've ever written.  It's still incomplete, 
but since I'm stuck around part 14 and have been for a while now I 
thought I'd send it off and see whether people like it enough for me to 
continue.

Hope you like it.

Becky

***

Chapter 8.  Sunday evening.


"So you told Megan about me this morning?"  I asked my Mother as we drove 
back.  "What did you say?"

"I told her last night, when I got back from the Wilsons'.  You gave me 
quite a shock last night, you know, and I had to talk to someone.  We 
decided this would be a bit of an experiment," said Mom, keeping her eyes 
on the road.  "That you had a couple of things to work out.  You've 
always been very special to her, you know."

"Megan's pretty cool", I said.

"Anyway, you know I can't afford to buy you clothes, and I'm not sure I'm 
all that happy about you borrowing Marcia's, so..."

"Marcia's okay, too,"  I said.  "She doesn't mind.  I think she's got 
even more clothes than Megan.  She brought these clothes over today, I 
didn't ask or anything."

"I know", said my Mom, "but it's better if you don't have to borrow 
things from her.  Mind you, we still need to get you some more casual 
clothes from somewhere, all that stuff of Megan's is a bit dressy."

"So, is that what this is, an experiment?"

She looked across at me quickly, then back to the road.  "I suppose so.  
I did a lot of thinking last night, after you went to bed.  I know you 
said you hadn't done this before, but there have been a lot of times I've 
wondered whether you were really happy being a boy.  When you were 
younger ..."  she cut herself off, and started again.  "I thought as you 
grew up you'd settle down, but ..."  She looked back at me quickly.  
"Anytime you want to stop this, just tell me.  If you think you've had 
enough, just say so."

"Okay", I said.  "I still feel kind of odd from time to time.  You know, 
because I'm a boy.  But somehow the world seems easier to be in.  I feel 
like I fit into it better".   I was wondering what she meant by all that 
stuff about when I was younger.  "Does that make sense to you?"

"I think so," Mom said.

"Uh, good," I said, "because I'm not sure it does to me, really."  We 
both laughed.

When we arrived back home there was a message on the answering machine 
from Paul.  He sounded terribly polite.  It just said that he'd had a 
lovely time last night, and he'd call again soon.  As I heard it I 
thought once again about the way he'd made me feel last night, and I got 
goosebumps.  Mom smiled softly as she watched me listening to the tape.

I took the suitcase upstairs and unpacked it, making sure everything was 
neat and well-hung in the closet.  I couldn't believe that Megan had so 
many clothes she'd get rid of things like this.  Mom came upstairs and 
gave me a couple of other things, some cleanser for my face, and some 
body lotion.  Then we went downstairs and had a light dinner.  

After dinner I helped her with the washing up before I broached the 
subject that had been nagging at me all day.  "Mom, what am I gonna do 
tomorrow?"

"I've been thinking about that.  I don't think you can go to school with 
your hair like that.  If you want me to I can try cutting it shorter.  
But that will be the end of your experiment, I think."

I wasn't sure I wanted that, but I couldn't think of what else to say.

"Or you could just skip a bit of school for a while, until we work things 
out,"  she said.  I smiled.  

"I didn't think it would upset you too much to do that", she laughed.  
"It's okay, your grades are good.  Maybe just for a short while."

So that was that.  Mom had obviously decided that everything was up to 
me.  

At that moment the phone rang.  I picked it up, and heard Paul's voice at 
the other end.  "Hello, Jenny?"

I didn't answer straight away.  My first though was 'Jenny?', my second 
was 'Omigod it's him!'.  I leaned against the refrigerator, and slumped 
down until I was sitting on the floor.

"Yes,"  I said.  "Hi Paul".

I looked across the kitchen at Mom, who was putting saucepans away.  She 
tried to suppress a smile.  

"How are you".

"Great.  How was your day?"  I felt extremely self-conscious.  My heart 
seemed to have a life of its own, and I tried to relax.  I don't know 
whether Paul sensed my nervousness, or whether he was just being nice, or 
(this didn't occur to me until much later) maybe he was nervous himself, 
but we carried on the conversation in fairly stilted language for a few 
more minutes, until my Mom left the room and went back to the living 
room.  

Then I relaxed and we talked for a while.  Not about anything important, 
it was just chatter.  I asked him what he was doing for the week, and he 
mentioned that he was going down to LA to interview for an internship at 
some magazine.  I told him Mom and me had been to visit my aunt down in 
LA, and we'd had a great day.  Eventually he asked me how long I was 
going to be staying in Santa Rosita!  I'd forgotten that my 'cover' story 
had been that I was only visiting!  Hurriedly, I told him that I really 
didn't know, but that we'd probably be here for a week or so while my Mom 
interviewed.  

We talked some more, and he asked me if I'd like to go out on Wednesday 
night after he'd come back to town.  When the phone call had begun I had 
decided that I'd say no, because I was scared of going out on a date with 
him again.  I liked what had happened at the party, but...  it just 
didn't seem very sensible to risk it again.  But as we talked I was 
thinking of the way he'd looked at me the night before, and how nice he'd 
been when we first arrived at the party.  I liked it that he wanted to be 
with me, and that he thought I was attractive.  I realised even as I was 
talking to him that I was falling for some hopeless romantic ideal that 
wasn't real, but the part of my brain that deals with rational thought 
had obviously gone into the living room with my Mom to watch the movie.  
So I said yes.  

He seemed very pleased, and told me it would just be a casual night, 
maybe dinner and a movie, he'd pick me up at 7.00.  As we were saying our 
goodbyes he sounded nervous again, as he told me he'd really enjoyed 
seeing me the night before, and was really looking forward to Wednesday.

I looked at the phone when I hung up, trying to work out what I'd just 
gotten myself into.  Then I noticed the clock on the microwave.  We'd 
talked for over an hour!  I went back to the living room, and Mom gave me 
a little smile that said she knew exactly what I'd been feeling.  Looking 
at her I all of a sudden felt very confused about what I'd just done.  
"Mom, is it okay if I go to the movies with Paul on Wednesday night?" I 
blurted out.

"Do you want to?"

"Yes."  I paused  " I think so.  I said yes."

Mom looked at me seriously.  "Is he a nice boy?"

I wondered about that.  He'd been very nice to me so far.  But I knew he 
wanted more from me than just a kiss.  "Yeah, I guess so".

"What will happen if he finds out you're ... not really a girl?'

"I don't know, Mom.  I don't want to think about that."

She looked at me thoughtfully, and said "Well, I want you to be careful.  
I'm really not sure this is a good idea.  It can't lead to anything 
good...  But I guess Megan's right, I'd worry as much if you were a girl."

"Thanks Mom."  I made a mental note to phone Megan and have a talk to 
her.  She seemed to be playing a big part in all this.

We didn't say anything for a while, and watched a pretty awful movie 
together.  Halfway through I started feeling a little cold, so I went 
upstairs and got a sweater Marcia had given me in her parcel of goodies 
earlier in the day, a light cotton one with a pretty detail around the 
neck.  When I came down again Mom smiled and said "there's one other 
thing that happened today."

"Which was?" 

"Well, I'm still not sure about this, because I think it might be going a 
bit fast, and I'm not even sure if you'd want to."

I was curious, and trying to think about all the things that had happened 
today.

"How do you like Mark?",  Mom asked.

"Megan's Mark?"  I said.  "He was pretty nice today, I thought.  
Considering the surprise.  In fact, he was much nicer to me than he 
usually is."

"Mark had a little talk with Megan after he saw you today", Mom said, 
"and he thought you were quite the beautiful young lady.  He asked Megan 
if she'd ask whether you might pose for some photographs for him.  
Tasteful ones of course, nothing, you know ..."

I didn't say anything.  At that moment I knew we'd entered some strange 
parallel universe, and some dwarf that spoke backward was gonna enter the 
room and do some David Lynch thing.  

"I said I wasn't sure,"  Mom said.  "I wasn't sure how you'd feel about 
it.  But Megan was terribly good to you today".

"Um - he wants to photograph Jenny, right?"

"Yes", said Mom.  "Fully clothed, of course.  He is a terribly good 
photographer, you know.  Megan thought you might think it was fun, 
something to remember this little experiment by."

I thought of the photographs Marcia and I had taken yesterday.  I already 
had a record of all this.  And I wasn't sure I was confident enough to 
have 'serious' photos taken.  "Uh, I don't know why he'd want to.  He 
takes photographs of thousands of beautiful girls,"  I said.  "I mean ..."

"I'm sure it will all be okay,"  Mom said.

"Okay then," I said.  I still wasn't sure why Mark wanted to, but Mom was 
right, Megan had been great today.  And Mark had been very nice, too.

As I went upstairs later that night my head was spinning a little bit.  I 
brushed my teeth, put some peroxide on my earlobes where they were 
pierced, cleaned my face and took off all my clothes.  Somehow my body 
seemed kind of weird and unformed once I took off all the underwear and 
the fake breasts.  I pulled the t-shirt on again and got into bed.  Idly 
I touched my chest, near where Paul had tried to touch it.  I wondered 
what it would feel like, if he could.  Then I wondered why I was thinking 
about him so much.  It was just because he was the first person to like 
me sexually, wasn't it?  Shaking my head, I tried to put him out of my 
mind and eventually went to sleep.

***

Continued in Chapter Nine.

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