Message-ID: <13536eli$9807311315@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Archived-At: <URL:http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13536.txt> From: <JJMoneyBoy@aol.com> Subject: Reviewing The Reviewer Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: <usenet-approval@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Story-Submission: <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Original-Message-ID: <b250fade.35c13fac@aol.com> My Dear MJ It's time for me to pull up a chair, pour myself a cold one, and for us to have a little heart-to-tart conversation. For your edification, I would be the "heart". Your so-called "review" of Desdmona22's story "Journal Into Sexual Awareness" is sorely lacking on several fronts. In fact, to paraphrase your own words, "Bereft of a single redeeming feature, this 'review' doesn't deserve a review". Rather, what I'm going to do in a few paragraphs is to illustrate what you're lacking and what you've missed about the story. Let's start at the very top, shall we. Here in Chicago, we've always thought that's a great place to begin. Although I'll submit <wink, wink> that other places CAN be equally delightful from which to start. <speaking from personal experience> The very first line is "Subject: Journey into Sexual Awareness (M/F, anal, humor)". Calling your attention to the very last word ... it's H-U-M-O-R. I'll speak slowly here, so as not to confuse. H--U--M--O--R. Are you familiar with that word?? Do you know it's meaning??? Or do you need to refer back to the OED?? <Here in Chicago we refer to that very simply as a "dictionary" ... just trying to be helpful, MJ ... no need to thank me> H-U-M-O-R ... hmmm, no, we do NOT spell it with the extra vowel. Humor, as defined here, means to laugh at, quality of being funny, and here's the most damning of the definitions, especially in your case, MJ, (quoting directly) "quality for perceiving the amusing". AH HAAAA ... therein lies the quandry. As someone who is Jesuit educated, I have some familiarity with dictionaries, thesauruses and the like. Thankfully, having watched baseball and other sporting events here in Chicago for many decades, I've also been imbued with a hearty appreciation for "perceiving the amusing". Your spelling, my pet, gives away the problem in no small measure. You refer in YOUR first sentence to "laboured humour", which labels you as a Brit or a north-of-the-border neighbor. Both are well-known for their lack of appreciation of "perceiving the amusing". As to the "carelessness with grammar", etc., who gives the proverbial rats ass. Not all of us are Rhodes Scholars; not all of us were educated at the highest levels; not all of us are bound by some absurd, uptight, brain- cramping, humorless "code of conduct" that make it a requirement to dot every "I" and cross every "T". As your own Prince Dumbo has shown, yours is among the most anal of people. Get a grip, get a clue, get a life. I find it offensive that your "review" calls into question the lack of use of four-letter words to more graphically describe the "Madam's" body parts. Once again, you've missed the point ... though not shockingly so. The art of seduction, the art of description, the art of flirting can ALL be accomplished without the use of bluntness. A well-known seminar speaker once recounted "I'd rather be served a hamburger on a piece of fine china than a piece of filet mignon slapped across my face". <note ... that was humor> Referring to "A", "B", and "C" was not only clever, it was a refreshing departure from the "vagina, cunt, slit, pussy, etc" that you seem to find so vital in "descriptive" writing. The art comes not in using pedestrian terms to describe the subject, but in using unusual terms to describe the common. Get it?? It means she is understated. There can be humor in understatement and subtlety, MJ, although after reading your "review", I'm not sure if you could find a clue in a room full of them. I, for one, found more than a few "vestiges of eroticism", MJ, and I vigourously (a doff of the chapeau in your general direction with that spelling) applaud Desdmona's writing style. It is refreshing, both style and substance are unusual, and a story matter not unfamiliar to many married (and I'm sure unmarried) people struggling to find new, untapped ground in the all- important arena of conjugal relations, known to you as "fucking". I, for one, truly enjoy being seduced, whether it be in real life or with the written word. I LOVE seeing a jacket slipped from a tan shoulder (no additional vowel added) to reveal a red scarf with nothing else beneath it. THAT, my lovely, is erotic with a capital "E". A mind is a terrible thing to waste, MJ, on such vagaries as "erotic". Like beauty, it is truly in the mind of the beholder. Oh, your reference to "back home in bed with her husband (such excitement!)" is puzzling. I can only pray that your husband or significant other (of whichever sex) can engage you mentally, physically, and emotionally. Such is the basis of many a long-lasting relationship. The human mind (and its "burning synapses") are stimulated in a variety of ways. I find the love of my life to be the most erotic woman I've ever known (my synapses are 'en fuego' even as we speak) in part because I think she's beautiful beyond description, in part because her body is to die for, and in part because the essence of her is so very stimulating. I find some of my most wonderful memories to be days to be spent not in bed, but rather, simply in her company. Some of the most memorable and intimate moments we've shared have come after the most "innocent" of days in which we did little more than spend time with each other. It's that same total package that leads her husband to come to bed sporting "an erection". He finds his wife to be stimulating and desirable even after many years of marriage. Bless his heart. YOU should be so lucky. Yes, it might be argued that syntax and sentence construction need a little work, but, who the hell cares??? Each of us writes for our own pleasure. If someone else on this spinning planet gets some benefit or pleasure from reading what we've written, so be it. If not, a pox on all their houses!!!! Oh, one last thing ... the "petri dish" reference seems to have left you in something of a blather. A reference to the first sentence in the story would remind you of the fact that the author is a nurse. Aren't many of the best stories written from the perspective of something known?? Wouldn't someone in the medical profession know of "an old-fashioned petri dish sort of way"??? And to you, MJ, I wish an ice-cold glass of your favorite adult beverage and an enema. You need a check-up from the neck-up. OOPS ... there I go again, using an obscure medical reference. Hey MJ, wanna go get drunk and fuck??? Yours in Christ, Jerry PS ... Written by an adult, for an "adult", in crayon, with REALLY big letters. PPS ... Oh, one more thing, MJ .... "humor defined isn't". Put THAT in your tea and drink it. -- +----------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `--------------+ | <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us> | <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us> | | Archive site +----------------------+--------------------+ Newsgroup FAQ | <http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/>----<http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/faq.html>