Message-ID: <10699eli$9804272124@qz.little-neck.ny.us> From: Lady Cyrrh <LadyCyrrh@aol.com> Subject: The Annex Reviews, 4/26/98 Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d,alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Path: qz!not-for-mail Organization: The Committee To Thwart Spam Approved: <usenet-approval@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Moderator-Contact: Eli the Bearded <story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Story-Submission: <story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us> X-Original-Message-ID: <955854cd.3543d478@aol.com> X-Is-Review: yes Some of my rants: Small pickup trucks with very large tires. The weird eyeglasses of the blonde guy in the Chemical Brothers. Authors who send me files of stories and don't attach their names to the manuscript. I mean it! A recent highly graded story almost did not get reviewed because the author's name and address was not included! So authors, be sure to include your name and address in your stories. Recap of my grading system (in response to ASSD posts): A+ = A 10, 10, 10 that goes above and beyond the call of duty. A = 10, 10, 10 A- = Very good, but minor flaws kept it from being an A. B+ = Slightly above average, with some elements I liked. B = Average. Neither very good or very bad. Not particularly impressive. B- = Slightly below average. Annoyed me in some way. C+ = Below average, but at least the author can string two sentences together. C = Below average, but at least the author can string two words together. C- = Below average with no redeeming qualities. D+ = Bad, but at least the author *tried* to string two words together. D = Very bad. D- = The worst. The lowest of the low. Absolute dreck. Contrary to popular relief, I have reviewed stories that low: "Tammi," "Story Chronicles of Narnialand," and "The Fitness Instructor." I could do more, but it's too painful for me. More rants: Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Toni Braxton. These women should be eviscerated and stuffed, then posed in lifelike positions around the central fountain of the Mall of America. Their songs are overproducing boring crap that relates nothing about the human experience. Unlike the disco divas of the 70s, they're not witty, amusing, or entertaining. They take themselves too goddam seriously. "I'm in love with love, but I'll never fall in love again, 'cos I'm too beautiful and half- black and got plastic tits and a perky ass and make six million bucks a year, but AH-AH-AH-AH'll swallow mah pain, and go on..." (big upswell of orchestra here.) There. I had to get that off my non-plastic titted chest. As I haven't done a special theme "ish" in a while, I thought I'd do a new one. I am now soliciting stories by teenagers. Boys, girls, gay, straight. Send them to me. Of course, I have to accept your word that you're a real teenager. I'll be looking closely at story themes and word choices, and reserve the right to eliminate those stories I feel are written from an adult's viewpoint. I am also looking for stories by Australian authors for an ish further down the line. If anyone knows of any, or knows of some Australian websites, please tell me! The stories: The Suit, Parts I - VII, by Don Quixote (F solo BDSM) Injection, by Val White (M/F anal Star Trek) Restricted Lift, by Godiva (M+/F office sex) Spot, the Wonder Mutt, by Kevin Wagner (F/dog) A Triple Twist, by Kim (M/F, F/F, harem, infidelity, callgirl) The Suit, Parts I -VII [B+/B] Where posted: ASSB, ASSM When posted: 4/17/98 Author: Don Quixote Address: D_Quixote@Yahoo.com This story tells you everything you need to know about being imprisoned inside a skintight metallic teddy. If you're not interesting in knowing this, you might as well skip the story, because that's all it was. Sharon, a young cost analyst, wakes up one morning to find herself dressed in the said suit, which is not removable by normal means (pliers, blowtorches, etc.) To make things worse she can't stimulate herself, and over the next six chapters she grows more and more horny. In chapter 7 the suit begins to stimulate her sexually and she finds herself in the thrall of the unknown "operator" who sends her orders via email. The story moved very very slowly, with lots of introspection about her fate and speculations on who did this to her, which gave it a touch of horror fiction, along with a (probably unintentional) absurdist feel, like "Waiting for Godot." A one point she even accidentally hangs herself from the shower rod by the wire thong in her butt (which also neatly slices her feces.) Altogether this was not an uninteresting story for BDSM fans, but I suspect the slow pace and lack of tension may put some readers off Injection [B+/B] Where posted: ASS, ASSM When posted: 4/19/98 Author: Val White Address: val72@hotmail.com I was of a split mind about this story, which was set in the Star Trek Voyager world. On one hand it was very funny; on the other, annoying. The holographic doctor discovers that the crew is suffering from a lack of "enzyme ana-protoglom, or APG" because they haven't been eating enough fresh meat, and if the situation is not rectified they will die. Unfortunately, the ship doesn't have enough energy to synthesize the enzyme, so the crew has to take the radical step of buttfucking each other once a day, as the enzyme is plentiful in male semen. The story was hilarious in its depiction of the smug technobabble show writers so often indulge in: "Upon further study, I found that all the non-vegetarian, healthy individuals engaged in anal intercourse on a fairly regular basis. I then discovered that the average volume of semen in one ejaculation contains 200 mg of APG. The enzyme is absorbed directly into the bloodstream through the wall of the large intestine. The affect is not the same when ingested orally; the stomach acids break down the enzyme." The author of the story also caught the character's exchanges well, like Captain Janeway's "Point taken" (made in response to the Doctor's suggestion that reluctant crew members may have to anally raped) and the overall tone of the prose, which fit the high- gloss, always-perfectly-coifed, la-la land veneer of the show. I could almost imagine this was a real episode, or a real episode from some alternate earth perhaps. The story lost it, however, when we got into the sex: "The computer switched to this view and the entire crew watched as Chacotay's organ came to life. Soon, it was fully erect and many of the crew thought to themselves that they were glad that it was Tuvak who would take that monster piece of meat in his ass and not them." Though I could smirk at the thought of the prissily annoying crew committing acts like this, the sex was presented in so foreign a way to the TV characters that the story turned into the worst of cliches...it tried to show how faithful it was but wound up turning the cast into fuck- puppets. Restricted Lift [A+] Where posted: ASS, ASSM When posted: 4/19/98 Author: Godiva Address: Godiva@starmail.com A young secretary is cautioned never to take the "restricted lift" (elevator) reserved for high-ranking executives, but she's late coming back from lunch one day. Imagine her surprise when: "...the commanding executive reached forward and gripped one of Ella's breasts, drawing her back against him, he absently mauled her bosom and creased her crisp white blouse." She's trapped on the elevator for the rest of the afternoon while the executives nonchalantly ravage her, all the while discussing integrated tax displacement and supply side financing. She staggers out around 3:30 after multiple orgasms to the disapproving stare of her supervisor: "I tell you girls not to use the number five elevator. I tell you a thousand times a day that the number five elevator is reserved for the executive staff. I do everything I can to make you girls stay out, but of course, what does an old woman like me, know about anything?" The ending line is a kicker. This story began unpromisingly for me...A- or B+ fare, I thought...but redeemed itself brilliantly with the executives, who casually assault female employees as if they were no more than small businesses they're plotting screw over...all the while blithely ignorant of the havoc and pleasure they create. There's just something very funny about this, and I think the joke is on the men. Spot, the Wonder Mutt [A-] When received: 4/19/98 Author: Kevin Wagner Address: 264@ef.gc.maricopa.edu The author sent me this, so I'm not sure if it will be posted to ASS or not. This story was a humorous piece that read like a scrap of something larger; it didn't really make sense, but it was amusing. Spot, a mangy mutt, is startled when a TV commercial for AKC Canine Wipes (a brand of doggie toilet paper) suddenly walks into his living room. The commercial has the requisite empty-headed blonde model-actress, and Spot "...explores the untamed, hairless patch between her legs, delving his long, rough purple tongue between the labial lips, constantly flicking the puffy pinkish lobes about as if they were monarch butterflies playing tag in a hurricane." Both dog and model have a field day. The author says he wrote this story in response to the many poorly written bestiality stories out there, and yes, it's definitely a spoof and a send-up. Logically, there could be a rationale for a TV commercial coming to life, and Spot managing to eat the commercial's poodle, but you can't have everything. A Triple Twist [A-] Where posted: ASS, ASSM When posted: 4/19/98 Author: Kim Address: Ghost@nym.alias.net Website: http://www.io.com/~thebear/kimidx.htm These three brief stories were all posted together as a single entity, a move similar to that old (now classic) TV movie "Trilogy of Terror" wherein Karen Black was chased around by a nasty little fetish doll from Africa that comes to life. He had really sharp teeth, and a knife. This movie scared the shit out of me when I was 10 years old. Anyway, these three stories seem to be more along the line of half-developed story ideas, though they're readable enough. In #1, the new bride of a Middle Eastern prince makes a shocking discovery, a variant on the multiple wife theme; in #2, a woman is executed for bashing her partner's lover with a Venus de Milo figurine; in #3, the most interesting of the bunch, a call girl inserts a perrier bottle into her rectum for the amusement of her john. All had a twist at the end which I didn't see coming, though I've seen them in ASS stories somewhere before. In short, I think any one of these stories could be developed further. Comments to: ladycyrrh@aol.com Website---> http://members.aol.com/ladycyrrh -- +--------------' Story submission `-+-' Moderator contact `------------+ | story-submit@qz.little-neck.ny.us | story-admin@qz.little-neck.ny.us |