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From: Celeste801@aol.com
Subject: Celestial Reviews 179 - May 7
X-Is-Review: yes
Celestial Reviews 179 - May 7, 1997
Note: There's no nice way to say this. Some of you authors have your facts
of life screwed up. Many women in these stories have their "aureole"
stimulated by the tongue or teeth of a lover. This is a highly unlikely
event. Indeed, if I may pass judgment on some of the women who experience
this stimulation, this activity would be not only unlikely, but actually
impossible. An aureole, you see, is a circle of light or radiance
surrounding the head or body of a representation of a deity or holy person;
in short, it's a halo. {The term is also used by astronomers to refer to the
corona around the sun.} The word these authors undoubtedly mean to use is
"areola" (also referred to as "areole" when it is a specifically biological
term), which refers to a small ring of color around a center portion, as
about the nipple of the breast or the part of the iris surrounding the pupil
of the eye. I have seen other bizarre spellings, including "aereole" - a
word which doesn't exist but which would appear to be related to "aer" or
"aero," a root that refers to air or gas. I suppose this spelling could
suggest that the lover was nibbling an aperture through which air or gas
might be expunged - but I rather think this is a simple spelling error.
Anyway, when my husband makes love to me, I prefer that he nibble on an
areola when the spirit moves him. If he wants them both, they're called
either areolas or areolae. There's also a noun called areolation. That
sounds like a good title for a story.
Second note: In recent discussions on a.s.s.d. some critics have accused me
of being "arrogant." If by arrogance they mean things like the preceding
note, they can kiss my ass - in the arrogant, metaphorical sense, of course.
I honestly don't understand why a person should be accused of arrogance for
authoritatively pointing out useful information to other people. I try not
to appear condescending, and I sincerely do not believe that I am somehow a
superior human being because I happen to be able to apply grammar rules and
to know the meanings of some words that others do not know. Likewise, when I
criticize a story for having a "weakness," I think it should be obvious that
I am offering an opinion. I, of course, think my opinions are valid, and so
do a lot of readers and authors who seem to respect my opinions; but
certainly people have a right to disagree with my comments. I try to give
reasons for my criticisms, and a sensible course of action would be to look
at my remarks in context and to make up your own mind about them.
I think I have a right to bring my personal value system into these reviews
(just as people who write stories have a right to base their stories on a
given value system, if they wish to do so). When I do this, I try to be
explicit about where I am coming from; and if you want to reject or ignore my
value system, the fact that I am clear about my position should make this
easier for you. In most cases I think I am fairly tolerant of value systems
that differ from my own - at least compared to the vast number of people who
would like to suppress expression of sexual values that differ from their
own.
And by the way, when I lay claim to being the goddess of this newsgroup, I'm
kidding. That was a title bestowed on me a long time ago by a reader, and I
liked it. I really lay no claims to divinity of any kind.
My point here is that if I appear to be arrogant, maybe you should give me a
break. In most cases I think you'll discover that I'm simply trying to have
some fun while writing a set of friendly essays that give feedback to authors
and help readers find some good stories.
Third Note: Remember the Third Annual Celestial Writing Contest. The rules
are that the story must in some way be about sex and must be restricted to
500 words or less. In addition, the story should include some sort of
unusual twist - like the unexpected self-revelation Robert Browning's poem
"My Last Duchess" or the surprise endings in several of Vickie Tern's
"Teasers" or Deirdre's stories. If you wish, you can submit several
super-short stories together (as Vickie Tern has now done on two occasions),
or you can post them separately under separate titles. However, I'll give
first prize to the best STORY, not to the best collection. The deadline for
submissions will be June 3, which my calendar tells me is the date on which
the Catholic Church will celebrate the feast of St. Charles Lwanga and his
companions.
Fourth Note: Some people have been expressing frustration over my failure to
review their stories. If I have given the impression that I am willing to
spend 20 or 30 hours a week on a "job" that requires me to read and review
every story that deserves to be reviewed, I'm sorry; I can't do that.
To be perfectly honest, I DO have biases in favor of certain authors. By
that I mean I like these people and will go out of my way to read and review
anything they send me. When another person whom I don't know gets a bit
impatient because I have not yet read his/her 250 page novel, I simply have
to ask that person to be patient. The fact is that there are authors whose
work I dearly love and whom I consider to be personal friends, but I am
unable to read and respond to all of their work.
I enjoy doing these reviews, and I genuinely feel good when authors show an
appreciation for my efforts. But I am not being paid for this job, and I
give priority to my family life and to the various activities for which
people compensate me and have a right to expect me to finish assignments on
schedule.
In addition, I am going to read stories that I think I'll enjoy. I realize
that it can be profitable for me to expand my horizons by reading stories
that may not seem initially attractive to me; and I am thrilled when I find
that I have enjoyed a story that sounded like I might not enjoy it. But
remember: the reason I give so many high ratings is because I deliberately
seek stories that appear to be well written and which I think I am likely to
enjoy.
When it stops being fun to write these reviews, I'll stop doing them. It's
that simple. I don't foresee this happening anytime soon, but I thought that
clarifying my ground rules would make this easier for all of us.
So go ahead and send me any stories you want to send me. I'll continue to
try to be fair. If I fail to review your story, it's OK to remind me about
its existence. But the simple fact is that there will be stories that I am
unable to review.
Final Note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
And a Joke: The man comes home from work, looking for his girlfriend. He
hears her in the bedroom making a lot of noise. As he looks in he sees her
tossing all her clothes into a suitcase.
"What in the of GOD are you doing?" he asks.
His girlfriend says, "I'm leaving you and going home to my mother."
"What did I do to make you won't to leave me like this?"
I just found out that you are a PEDOFILE ! ! ! !
The man looks at her with a big question mark in his eyes "Well, Donna, that
sure is a BIG word for an 11 year-old!"
- Celeste
"Sarah" by The Star (father/daughter romance) 10, 10, 10
"Kimiko Dreams: Carol", by Deidre Ng (ff sex) 9, 8, 8
"Instant Romance" by Dafney Dewitt (con job) 9, 8, 8
"On the Air" by RC (hypnosis) 10, 9, 9
"Samantha and Brian" by Brian Foster (sexual initiation)
8, 9, 9
"Erotic Foolishness" by Renae Nicks (romance) 10, 5, 10
"Detention" by MD James (blackmailing a prude) 9, 9, 9
"A Cut of the Cards" (bondage) 8, 10, 10
"Complexities and Paradoxes" by Dimitri (sci fi sex) 9, 8, 9
"Minding Mike" by Paddy Toute (household hint) 10, 10, 10
"Seductions" by MrSpraycan (seduction & submission) 10, 6, 6
* "Pillow Fight" by Dulcinea (playful romance) 10, 9, 10
* "One of Those Days?" by Dulcinea (quickie in elevator)
10, 10, 10
* "The Party" by Dulcinea (quickie at the party)
10, 10, 10
* = Repost of a previous review (because the story has
recently been reposted)
"Sarah" by The Star (extar@hotmail.com). In this story a man survives an
automobile accident in which his beloved wife dies. He is nursed back to
health by his young adult daughter, who subsequently proclaims her love for
him, and they happily fall in love and have wonderful sex together. I
suppose some people would classify this story as incest, but I have
stubbornly insisted on labeling it a father/daughter romance. Actually,
according to both my American Heritage Unabridged Dictionary and the laws in
most of the western world, the activities described in this story DO
constitute incest - sexual relations between persons who are so closely
related that their marriage is illegal or forbidden by custom.
As I have said in other reviews, I think there is a good reason for society's
general prohibition of incest. I can think of three good reasons for this
taboo. First, when the incest is between children and adults there is almost
always a strong possibility of inappropriate coercion and exploitation of the
child by the adult. For this reason social scientists and the courts in most
jurisdictions have few kind words for adults who engage in incest with
children. Second, there is a possibility of genetic difficulties arising
from "inbreeding." This means that when some sort of problem is caused by a
double recessive gene combination, the problem would be more likely to occur
when the individuals who are producing a child would be closely related
(because siblings or parents, for example, are more likely than an unrelated
person to have the same recessive allele). Although I have taught children
whose retardation I have been told was the result of inbreeding and although
there are some famous studies of American families that were noteworthy for
their inbreeding, I am not really certain how serious this problem is. This
problem could obviously be overcome by the simple expedient of using
effective birth control. Finally, incest could exert an undue pressure for
people to narrow their range when looking for spouses or permanent sexual
partners. In other words, mommy and her little boy should be able to love
each other a lot, but society (and the son) would probably be better off if
mommy cuts the apron strings and encourages him to seek sexual fulfillment
somewhere else besides in her arms.
Although most societies have long displayed the incest taboo, it was Freud
who invented the term Oedipus Complex to describe the urge of boys to fall in
love with their mothers and Electra Complex to describe the similar urge of
girls to develop a sexual attachment with their fathers. Most developmental
psychologists assume that children work through or "resolve" these complexes
as a part of their "normal" development. Mister Rogers (of television fame)
even sings a kiddie song about it.
But there's also a basic stupidity behind this taboo. For example, in the
original story of Oedipus (after whom the complex is named), Oedipus grows up
in exile, returns to his country, accidentally kills his father (because he
didn't know who the guy was when his father approached him acting like a
complete asshole), and then marries his mother (because she was the widowed
queen). Several years later, after lots of unrecorded happy mutual orgasms,
Oedipus suddenly finds out that his wife his also his mother. My advice to
Oedy would be something like this: "It's too bad you killed your father, but
it was his fault, not yours. Your mother has loved you for twenty years and
has somehow avoided menopause. Your children have no noticeable genetic
defects. Get a grip. It's OK." Instead he gouges his eyes out, goes into
exile, and dies a miserable death. This same story appears frequently in
American soap operas and possibly in one of Bill and Ted's Excellent
Adventures.
The upshot of this discussion is that I think it makes sense to speculate
about the values of apparently incestuous relationships. {It's also fun to
challenge the biblical fundamentalists who both (1) take the biblical story
of creation literally and (2) denounce incest with this question: "Since Adam
and Eve had only sons, who was the mother of their children?"} In real life I
strongly recommend that my husband leave my daughters alone. If he has sex
with them, he will not have to gouge his own eyes out: I'll perform that
service for him. The present story offers an interesting insight into this
topic. Michael K. Smith's "Dyad" (reviewed in CR 177) likewise does a good
job.
Ratings for "Sarah"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Kimiko Dreams: Carol", by Deidre Ng (kimiko@unforgettable.com). I haven't
seen a new posting by Deidre Ng for a long time. This one was sent to me by
a person who had posted the story on her web site at
http://www.virtualchemy.com/Kimiko/. I am used to a more free-flowing,
spontaneous style from Deidre Ng. In this story she writes in very simple,
almost choppy sentences about two women going to a movie together, holding
hands, reaching orgasm, playing with cosmetics, and reaching more orgasms.
It's interesting stuff, but not in the category with some of Deidre Ng's
previous material.
Ratings for "Kimiko Dreams: Carol"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Instant Romance" by Dafney Dewitt (dafneydewitt@juno.com). In my Honors
English Class several years ago I had a lazy student who was the scion of a
wealthy family. The assignment was to write a short story, and he turned in
a short masterpiece entitled something like "The Surprise." I recognized it
immediately as a slightly modified version of Saki's "The Open Window."
Instead of accusing him of plagiarism, I simply gave him an F and made up
silly criticisms of the story - describing it as shallow and unimaginative
and accusing the author of such foibles as "poor word choice" and
"unimaginative imagery." It was an exquisite form of torture. The kid knew
I was full of baloney - after all, the story was actually written by H.H.
Munro (Saki), one of the greatest authors of short stories in the English
language. But he couldn't say that to me or even tell anybody else, because
to do so he would have to admit that he had plagiarized the story.
The present story is also an adaptation of "The Open Window." The author
openly admits the connection; so this is NOT plagiarism. It's a pretty good
story, but a weak adaptation. If you've never read "The Open Window" - or,
for that matter, if a smart-assed English teacher once gave you an F for
plagiarizing it - you should dig that story out from your old anthology or
get it from the library and take a look at it. The main feature that the
original story possesses but the present story lacks is the double whammy.
In Saki's story a fiendishly clever little girl scares the shit out of a
simple-minded visitor by feeding him a scenario about something that was
supposed to have happened in the past. The visitor accepts this lie as true,
and then is horrified to see the scene re-enacted before his eyes. He runs
away in terror, thinking he has seen a ghost. The little girl, of course,
knew this would happen. The family expresses wonderment over the visitor's
sudden departure, and with equal facility the little demon generates an
equally untrue story to explain why the guest ran away. Romance at short
notice was indeed her specialty. In the present story, a surprise visitor
simply "wings it" to have some fun with his sister's roommate. It's fun, but
nowhere near the level of sophistication of Saki's story.
I think there's huge potential to turn this and other classical short stories
into really sexy masterpieces. The present author has merely taken a kernel
of an idea and has omitted most of the original author's insights - the
ability of the little girl to build up in the mind of her listener the
irrational reaction which caused him to run out of the room and then to
explain his unnatural behavior through a second lie. If anyone has the time,
I'd love to see someone else take a shot at a sexy version of this story
line. There are many other possibilities - an x-rated version of O. Henry's
"The Ransom of Red Chief" or "The Gift of the Magi"; a sexy rendition of
Conrad's "The Secret Sharer"; any number of Poe's stories. I would even
proclaim another new contest, but someone has pointed out to me that my
current Third contest is actually my Fourth. Life gets complicated when you
get past eighteen....
Ratings for "Instant Romance"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"On the Air" by RC (74734.271@CompuServe.Com). Back during his college days
our narrator had been involved in a romantic liaison with a young lady. As
is commonly the case among technology geeks, this young man had hypnotized
his lover, and she had eagerly engaged in all manner of wonderful things with
him before she dumped him for a football quarterback. Eventually she also
dumped the jock and got religion, and that's where the story begins. She's
appearing on a TV show with an evangelist, who is denouncing the evils of sex
for pleasure. Well, as you may easily imagine, the lady is still responsive
to post-hypnotic suggestions from strobe lights, which happen to be abundant
and under the control of the narrator; and before we know it, she's entering
into the Rapture in front of both live and filmed audiences.
Ratings for "On the Air"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Samantha and Brian" by Brian Foster (Mr. Double Repost). Remember the old
Dragnet shows, where Joe Friday used to read a lecture on Public Safety in
the context of a weekly television show? That's what this story does: it
offers a context for an essay or lecture on the harmful effects of repressing
childhood sexuality and the virtues of having a warm adult gently introduce a
child to the mysteries of her own body.
A lot of people comment to me that they enjoy this newsgroup "except for the
incest and pedophile stuff." Maybe these people should give the "real
perverts" a chance to present their case. This story makes perfect sense to
me - except, I guess, in real life maybe adults are more likely to exploit
little girls for their own gratification.
Ratings for "Samantha and Brian"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Erotic Foolishness" by Renae Nicks (RenaeNicks@aol.com). The woman has
broken up after a long relationship and has befriended a guy whose girlfriend
lives far away. Things start out platonic and cool, but they warm up
quickly. The main reason this story has received a low rating in "plot and
character" is because it's not complete. I hope this author goes ahead and
finishes a good story for us.
Ratings for "Erotic Foolishness"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Detention" by MD James (d2beast@aol.com). Ms. Jay is that polygon of evil -
er, paragon, I guess - the prudish English teacher who comes down hard on
innocent teenagers but inside is a boiling cauldron of illicit lust. Ms. Jay
inflicts one too many detentions on Our Hero, and he really sticks it to her.
It seems Ms. Jay has been boinking a City Councilman. Our Hero has obtained
evidence of this and uses that information to blackmail, humiliate, and
generally enjoy Ms Jay before he gives her a stern warning and sends her on
her way. I normally don't approve of these things, but with prudish English
teachers or librarians, anything goes!
The author makes some minor but annoying mistakes in verb tenses and in
spelling. He obviously ran a spellcheck, which missed a few spelling errors
(e.g., "throws of passion" for "throes of passion") and which brought to mind
the following poem:
THE DEAN'S WORD PROCESSOR
(By Graduate School Dean Jerrold Zar)
I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot see.
Eye ran this poem threw it.
Your sure real glad two no.
Its very polished in its weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a blessing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're laks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
There are know faults with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
Now spelling does not phase me,
I does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too please.
Ratings for "Detention"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"A Cut of the Cards" by Anon747 (Anon747@aol.com). I possibly know as much
about sex stories as anybody in the world. I mean, I have reviewed something
like 1577 of them; and you would think by now I would at least have an idea
who all the good writers are. Not true! Not even close! Recently I was
politely denounced by an author who wondered what it took to get me to read
his stories. I read one, and it was excellent! Then the present author sent
me this story along with her web site address
(http://members.aol.com/Anon747/index2.html). The story was very good, and
the web site is loaded with other good stories that I had never heard of and
cross references to other sites, most of which I have never visited.
This is crazy. By my calculations, in order to keep abreast of matters I
would have to read stories almost constantly from sunrise to sunset. I would
have no time to seduce anyone; at the most I might have time to let my
husband crawl under my desk and eat me out while I read a story. I would be
so busy that I would say "abreast" without even adding <g>. I would probably
get aroused by all kinds of things that would remind me of these stories -
baseball players and cops with tight asses, checkout girls who are possibly
not wearing underpants, students who are probably fantasizing about my
pussy.... Life would be crazy. The upside is that I would probably figure
out how to do mind control, and I could possibly use this information to
become rich or control the world or something. But I don't know. I think
I'd miss the simple things of life - like correcting student papers, seducing
my husband, getting and giving hand jobs - the things that the simple folk do
in "Camelot."
Anyway, in this story the man and his wife draw cards. He gets the low card.
I'm not really sure whether this means he won or lost, but the result is
that he gets to decide WHAT they do, but she gets to determine HOW they do
it. He decides he wants to watch her make love with a woman, but she decides
he will be tied up while she does so. It's a good story!
Ratings for "A Cut of the Cards"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Complexities and Paradoxes" by Dimitri (dimitri@ihug.co.nz). The gang from
Star Trek are returning through space or hyperspace or maybe traveling
through time. I don't know enough about what they are doing to know what
they are doing. That sounds like a complexity or paradox; and if you can
understand what I said, maybe you are ready for this story. This story takes
place within the last 30 seconds of the movie "Star Trek: First Contact."
However, that doesn't mean that the action takes only 30 seconds; trekkies
travel through time, space, and each other according to laws that actually
make sense to people imbued with the culture.
I really do think this is probably a good Star Trek story. It doesn't have
all that much sex in it, but it does include an humanoid dildo and the
aphorism, "I'll scratch your cunt, you scratch mine."
As a result of several stories like this, I have begun to enjoy Star Trek
more than before. This superficial familiarity leads to practical problems.
I was recently at a party with some engineers and they were discussing
Picard and Troi or something like that. Years ago I would have ignored such
creatures, because I would have had no idea what they were talking about.
This time I easily followed the conversation and almost joined in - which
would have been a grave faux pas, since my knowledge is seriously tainted by
a.s.s. stories of Picard and Troi doing things together that have never
occurred on TV or in any of the movies - at least not without resorting to
time warps.
I liked this story. I think a person who is really familiar with the whole
Star Trek saga would enjoy it even more.
Ratings for "Complexities and Paradoxes"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Minding Mike" by Paddy Toute (Paddy22@aol.com). Most local newspapers have
a self-help column - "Hints for the Happy Homemaker" or "Tool Time" or
something like that - what to do when an unusual problem occurs. Personally,
I just use the World Wide Web, but I'm not sure what search words I'd use on
the Excite Search Engine for the problem presented in this story. It's an
ordinary problem. I have encountered it myself several times when I have
been asked to baby-sit for a neighborhood teenager who has been in an
accident and has to go to the bathroom but he can't get out of bed and his
fingers are so thoroughly wrapped in bandages that he can't aim his own
pecker into the bottle that he keeps under the bed for such emergencies.
That's not the problem, of course: anyone who can think and chew gum at the
same time can handle that part easily enough <g>. The problem occurs when
the helper helps the helpee put the penis inside the narrowing opening of the
bottle but the helpee's little weenie for whatever reason becomes engorged
with blood and increases in girth to the extent that it presses firmly
against the sides of the bottle, thus inhibiting both intinction and removal.
Now there's a problem that could easily get out of hand!
The nice thing about this story is that the author knows when to stop.
Ratings for "Minding Mike"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Seductions" by MrSpraycan (mrspraycan.an@edtec.com). So far I've seen
"Seductions 1 and 2," which are part of "An Unnamed Work In Progress." The
story has some erotic parts to it, but it seems to go nowhere - unless you
think that just having sex is a plot. Of course, the problem is that the
story isn't complete. I guess maybe I should have waited till the story was
finished before reviewing it. The author seems to write very well: maybe it
will be eventually be a really good story.
Ratings for "Seductions"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
* "Pillow Fight" by Dulcinea (ImDulcinea@aol.com). This was one of the first
stories I ever reviewed - back in CR 2. It's the kind of romantic story I'd
like to write myself. I guess that's because this is the kind of life I'd
like to live myself. Dulcinea does a good job making a woman wish this were
happening to her. This is a playful story with nothing kinky - just good,
hot passion. Way to go, Dulcinea!
Ratings for "Pillow Fight"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "One of Those Days?" by Dulcinea (ImDulcinea@aol.com). It's one of those
days. The elevator is packed with wall to wall people; it's going to be
uncomfortable. But then the sexy lady he just noticed in the restaurant is
being forced back against Adam; and - wouldn't you know it - his cock decides
not to remain quiescent. It's one of those days. Noticing his tumescence,
Tami suggests that they introduce themselves. "Madam I'm Adam," he replies;
and she responds "Able was I ere I saw Elba." That's not exactly what they
said, but I've always wanted to write two palindromes in a single sentence.
Well, anyway, if everyone adapted this well to overcrowding, we'd be a lot
less concerned about the population explosion. It's a sexy story.
Ratings for "One of Those Days?"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "The Party" by Dulcinea (ImDulcinea@aol.com). The officer's wife is bored
with the party. She slips away to the master bedroom and soon one of the
officers meets her there for a romantic romp before they rejoin the others.
Dulcinea's stories are simple and sweet, and sometimes that's very nice.
Ratings for "The Party"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
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