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Celestial Reviews 243 - December 17, 1997
Note: Next issue will be my Special Christmas Issue on December 20. I'll try
to post reviews of every Christmas story I know about. If you have
suggestions, please send them to me. The next regular issue will be December
24, and then I'll take a Christmas break until January 3.
Second note: Keep in mind the Celestial Christmas Story Contest. The only
rule is that your entry has to be a new story about Christmas or a related
holiday theme. I'll interpret this seasonal theme loosely - a Druid orgy at
Stonehenge during the winter solstice or group sex at half-time on a Rose Bowl
float would qualify. Entries can be posted as they are written, and I'll
review them as soon as I receive them. In fact, I reviewed a few last week
and a few more this week. Winners will be announced on or around January 1.
If you want to try to influence my judgment, send me your comments about the
stories when you read them.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"After School" by Unknown Author (young adolescent sex)
9.5, 10, 10
"The End of the Innocence" by Daniel L (threesome with
mm touch) 10, 10, 10
"Some of my Favorite Masturbation Fantasies" by Terressa
Wright (masturbation fantasies) 4, 4, 4
Celestial Christmas Contest
"Tongue and Cheek" by Hawk "Santa" Richards (oral sex)
9, 8, 8
"The Night Before Christmas" by M1KE HUNT (young love)
10, 10, 10
"My Xmas Threesome" by Patty Nickel (illiterate drivel) 1, 1, 1
"Another Christmas Carol" by Unnamed Author (Christmas
shopping) 10, 10, 10
Guest Reviews:
"Wendy's Weekend" by Captain Atom (suck-and-fuck
marathon) 8, 5, 8
"Expelled" by Sexy Grrl (kiddysex with Uncle Frank) 7, 7, 7
"Young Karen" by Unknown Author (emerging adolescence)
9.5, 10, 9
"Trade Show" by Wolf Whistle (ghostly sex) 8, 7, 7
"Bikini Brigade" by Andrew Roller (childhood fantasies)
9.5, 10, 10
Reposted Reviews:
* "Brenda - A Love Story" by Tom Bombadil (emerging
adolescence & romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Adrienne a la Mode" by Cynthia (romantic seduction)
10, 10, 10
* "Boarding Pass" by Cynthia (airport sex) 10, 10, 9
* "Virgin (On the Ridiculous)" by Jordan Shelbourne (farce &
romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Lawyers in Love" by A. Van Peebles (ff romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Kate and Me: Friendship Spilled Over" by The Bear
(teen/adult romance) 10, 10, 10
* "A Cold Day in Hell" by Delta (romance) 10, 10, 10
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"After School" by Unknown Author. I have actually said things like this to my
teachers: "It's so hard to swallow something like this." or "I can't get it
into my head." But not when I was thirteen years old and fondling my history
teacher's tumescent cock. Heck, I didn't even know what tumescent meant.
Neither did my history teacher; but of course, she was a nun.
Anyway, Susie is just about the nicest and smartest little girl in the whole
junior high school, and she goes about doing people good - er, well, I guess.
Well, both: she does people well when she fucks them; but she does them good
when she promotes Sex, Justice, and the Common Good of the Universe.
The descriptor at the beginning of this story says it is about "3way and
bestiality." That's like saying the encyclopedia is about "how the Romans
made cookies."
The basic flaw with this story is that the odds are tremendously stacked
against the notion that a cute little girl who becomes the happy humper will
grow up to be smart enough to write a story that is this good. It could
happen, but I wouldn't bet on it. I have worked with emotionally distressed
adolescents, and I firmly agree with the social scientists who say that the
main predictor of a miserable adulthood for a young girl is that she become
pregnant as young as possible. Sexual Puritanism really sucks, but
unmitigated sexual promiscuity is not much better.
To put it another way, this story assumes that the world is wonderful and
everything will be just fine if we all just relax and fuck without
inhibitions. Deep down inside, even assholes are good people, and a 13-year-
old girl can bring out the best in them by sucking and fucking with them.
William Golding, in Lord of the Flies, offers a different perspective on
youthful human nature; and I suspect that Golding is closer to the truth. In
addition, the story ignores the fact that emerging sexuality can be an
occasion for confusion as well as ecstasy; and copulating with the whole world
will not necessarily reduce this confusion.
Having said that, I'll add that this was an enjoyable story. I suspect that
it was written by a high school senior who decided to indulge her fantasies
regarding what she COULD have done had she gotten off to an earlier start.
Susie is so sexually active that she has an agreement with a storekeeper named
Pop to supply her with panties whenever she needs them to appease her mother's
curiosity. Pop has even ordered a whole gross (12 dozen) of Susie's brand of
panties especially for her, but they have been fast disappearing. The story
about Pop is itself an epic of heart-warming human kindness. The poor guy was
sad almost to tears at the prospect of losing his business, but then Susie sat
under his counter and gave him a blowjob, and sooner than you can say cumshot
he not only had her panty franchise but he was also serving as an informal
pimp for his young friend. In addition, Susie frequently gave blowjobs to
Pop's creditors.... I could go on forever. This is the sort of anecdote that
somebody should send in to Readers Digest for filler at the bottom of pages.
And then there's Rover.... Enough! You get the idea.... If this is your sort
of thing, you'll enjoy this story.
Ratings for "After School"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The End of the Innocence" by Daniel L. (dhl@sysun.com). Hmmm.... Two guys are
in an adult bookstore in Key West, checking out the quarter movie slots. They
encounter an attractive young woman who wants a movie about two guys doing it
together. They try to help her, but they can find no such movie. Hmmm...
Where is this story going? Two guys who want to get into the girl's panties.
A girl looking to get turned on by watching two guys have sex. Hmmm.....
This could be the basis for a slam-bang quickie; but this story goes well
beyond that sort of thing.
First, we have an ethical dilemma. Our narrator has never even considered sex
with Jerry or any other man, even though the thought doesn't repel him. Horny
as he is, his libido really is directed only towards females. He vaguely
believes that "sex is really just giving and receiving pleasure", but this is
a statement he would like to believe but has never really tested. And then
there's the prospect of pleasing Laura. Will Jerry suck his cock? Will Jerry
want him to suck his? Will they fondle each other? Hmmm, indeed....
The three partners do it in every possible combination; and that's more ways
than you might initially think, since each participant has several apertures
and more than one instrument can be inserted into each. Holy cow! They even
talk and play cards while doing it. And the author manages to make it sound
sexy all the way through the four evenings the three spend together.
And while you read this story, you can learn important things about Life.
For example, here's what it takes to pick up girls easily and quickly: the guy
should exude a sense of being able to be trusted, and yet body language and
tone of voice and general calmness that promises sweet things if if the lady
is so inclined. Either that or the ability to undress the woman with your
eyes, I suppose.
In addition, here's a brief discourse on aesthetics: "Too many woman believe
themselves to be ugly or just ordinary if they don't qualify as the perfect
centerfold model. Laura probably didn't think of herself as exceptionally
attractive. But this isn't true -- I've tried to tell so many women I know
how beautiful and sexy they really are, even without being perfect, but the
words somehow can't even begin to convey the full truth of it. The female
body is a poem to a heterosexual man, and in the words of the philosopher
whose name I can't remember, it "proves the existence of God.'" Actually,
that wasn't a philosopher: I think it was Dirty Harry.
This is an excellent story. I recommend it highly and hope to see more
stories from this author.
Ratings for "The End of the Innocence"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Some of my Favorite Masturbation Fantasies" by Terressa Wright
(spike97@hotmail.com). Ya know who I really feel sorry for? I mean besides
the person who just corrected my grammar to, "Do you know for whom I really
feel sorry?" I feel sorry for the poor bastard whose life is so miserable
that even his masturbation fantasies really suck. Especially if "his" name is
Terressa Wright. I guess I'd feel even more sorry for the poor bastard who was
so desperate for motivational fantasies that he'd read the juiced-up, quasi-
literate writings of the poor bastard whose life is so miserable that even his
masturbation fantasies really suck.
I don't recommend this "story." It's just a really bad attempt at fantasies
like those you can easily find in the Penthouse Forum.
Ratings for "Some of my Favorite Masturbation Fantasies"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4
"Tongue and Cheek" by Hawk "Santa" Richards (hawkrds@aol.com). The term
"tongue in cheek" refers to the notion that a person is kidding - that it's
necessary to place one's tongue firmly against one's cheek in order to refrain
from breaking out in uproarious laughter when the naive listener swallows what
we are saying. Needless to say, that's not the sort of tongue 'n cheek we're
talking about here.
As the title suggests (I say, tongue in cheek), the narrator gets fired from
his job right before Christmas, and the only job he can get is that of a
department store Santa Claus. As the author points out (tongue in cheek),
there is nothing like a fat guy in a red suit to turn on the ladies! And as
the narrator says (tongue in cheek) to a female passerby who rejects this
hypothesis: "HOE! HOE! HOE! YOU FUCKING HOE!"
Well, you'll have to read the story to get the full meaning of this title and
to discover what this has to do with Santa getting a blowjob from a hooker
near Santa Central.
Ratings for "Tongue and Cheek"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The Night Before Christmas" by M1KE HUNT (MrMike@aol.com). "Fucking Mike
Hunt!" That's the title of a story by this author, you know. A good story.
One that I rated it 10-10-10. Mike Hunt usually writes stories with himself
as the legendary hero who copulates with June or the twins or a rapacious slut
in an elevator. This one doesn't even sound like Mike Hunt. I suspect it's a
leftover from the estate of O. Henry.
"Fucking Mike Hunt!" See, the problem is that I already KNEW who was going to
win my Celestial Christmas Story contest. And then this story arrives, and
now I have to stop and think and reread the stories and diddle myself and lose
sleep over this decision and eventually decide who wins my prize.
With my luck, I'll get even more good entries!
I can't tell you much about this story, except that it's about a young man and
a young woman, neither of whom is especially religious, who have been
celebrating the Christmas/Hanukkah season together in a special way since they
were newlyweds. Since I have already told you that this story is in the style
of O. Henry, you can surmise that there is a surprise ending; but you'll get
no more clues from me.
Ratings "The Night Before Christmas"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"My Xmas Threesome" by Patty Nickel (eyesopen4@hotmail.com). Three people
watch the Queen's Christmas speech and then have sex. I think. The author
offers a web site where we can find even more stories of comparable quality.
People who say that no story is really worthless have not read this one.
Ratings "My Xmas Threesome"
Athena (technical quality): 1
Venus (plot & character): 1
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 1
"Another Christmas Carol" by Unnamed Author
(amateurerotica.guide@miningco.com). My husband has always been reluctant to
buy me sexy lingerie. At first he would simply say, "You already look sexy;
and all I'd do would be take it off of you." When I explained that that
activity itself might be interesting, he switched from the utilitarian
argument to the more ambiguous statement that "it gets hard when he has to
deal with the sales personnel." I assumed that "hard" meant "difficult" and
that "it" was a weak and indefinite use of a pronoun, common among non-English
teachers. Having read this story, I now understand his problem: "it" has a
more definite antecedent, and "hard" refers to epidermal surface tension.
This is a very clever story about a man who goes shopping to buy lingerie for
his wife for Christmas. If sales personnel gave all their customers this much
attention, they would certainly earn their Christmas bonuses.
Ratings "Another Christmas Carol"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Wendy's Weekend" by Captain Atom (captatom@thepentagon.com). Guest review by
Bookman.
This story doesn't offer Your Faithful Reviewer a whole lot to review. The
plot is about as basic and mindless as your average porn flick, but then,
Captain Atom acknowledges that at the beginning. He's not challenging
Dostoevsky here; he knows it; that's not his purpose; and he goes on from
there.
Basically, we have Wendy, Slut Queen of an unnamed campus, and a few of her
apparently leather-vaginaed friends cavorting happily through a wide swath of
the male population. And that's pretty much it.
And yet there's a driving vitality in this suck-and-fuck marathon that
ultimately becomes effective. When I read it, I was both exhausted and
recently drained, and it still got a rise out of me. Could use a little
proofreading, but at this level there aren't enough errors to really get in
the way. Just don't expect plot or character development, and I think you'll
enjoy this little offering.
Ratings for "Wendy's Weekend"
Athena (technical): 8
Venus (plot and character): 5
Apollo (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Expelled" by Sexy Grrl (bigsexygrrl@hotmail.com). Guest review by Wherryman.
A fairly simple plot to this story. Uncle Frank is picking up his niece, his
'Princess', who has been expelled from school for 'wanton behaviour' - in this
case getting caught in bed with the son of the headmaster of the nearby boys
school. They only get halfway home before bad weather forces them to stop at
a motel and... What do you mean, you know what's coming?
OK, so you're right - they end up in bed together; this is a.s.s.* after all -
but getting them there is handled reasonably well. Unfortunately the story
ends there, just as things are getting interesting. One orgasm each and then
all we get is 'My dear uncle continued my re-education into the night'. I
felt rather like I imagine 'Princess' did when caught by the headmaster,
cheated of the main event.
Stop press: Celeste 242 includes a review of 'Pierced' which appears to be a
further adventure of 'Princess'. It hasn't reached my neck of the woods yet
but her technical mark suggests that it is a little more polished than this
episode.
Rating for "Expelled"
Technical merit 7
Plot & character 7
Appeal to reviewer 7
"Young Karen" by Unknown Author (reposted by Commander Jameson). Guest review
by Fiddler.
This story purports to be the reminiscence of a man about his boyhood sexual
experiments. Our hero never gives his name; but he is friends with Bob and
David, two other horny 12-year-old boys. They talk about sex, try out a
little mutual play, and hear about David's adventures with his 9-year-old
sister Karen. "Oh yeah?" say Bob and our hero. "Yeah," says David, "would you
like to play with her, too?"
The rest of the action is almost a predictable as their answer, but the story
has its redeeming points. Karen is neither a beaten submissive nor a
precociously horny slut. She is a believable kid who is believably curious.
After all, the adults are trying too keep all the fun for themselves. When
our hero almost achieves penetration, Karen suffers believable pain. They
stop. They never try again. End of story.
One's reaction to pedo stories is even less predictable than one's reaction to
straighter stories. I didn't find this story arousing, but I did find it
convincing (except the part about Jewish parents sending their kids to
parochial school). I wasn't squicked. I have no guesses whether you will be
aroused or squicked.
Ratings for "Young Karen":
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Fiddler (appeal to this reviewer): 9
"Trade Show" by Wolf Whistle (posted by zeist@aol.com). Guest review by
Piper.
In this story, the unnamed protagonist is at a trade show for dentists. By
inference, we learn that he was manning a booth all day - eleven hours
straight. Unlike most trade shows, at least a.s.s. trade shows, there aren't
dozens of scantily clad and more than willing hostesses, guests, dental
assistants, and others, who are willing to show the tired, yet horny, promoter
of something-or-other a good time. At least, that holds true until he gets in
the elevator to head to his room for some self-gratification followed by
sleep.
Susan is the young woman's name. She has this -- this -- well, this smell
about her. He finds it almost irresistible. When asked, however, Susan
insists that she isn't wearing any perfume. The intoxicating scent drives him
to distraction. They then retire to his room for some of the usual. It's the
best he's ever had in his life, either before or since. The next morning, he
finds out who the lady is. Or was.
This is a case where the storycodes give away the big surprise ending before
we even begin to read the story. When we are told (M/Fspirit), we can safely
assume that a man and a no-longer-of-this-earth woman will be doing something
together. There's no surprise, which takes away much of the punch the author
was trying to create. Score one for M1ke Hunt's argument against storycodes.
I'm not sure whether I liked this story or not. It was fairly well written,
although there are a couple of quite nasty typos (weal for weak, eg), and a
bit of editing would have helped, but the story lacked that gut-level appeal I
look for when other interest factors, such as humor, an involved plot, or
complex characterization, aren't present. Other details, such as the fact
that he was in room 601, but the murder took place in 701 ("in that very
room"??), also confused me. Was there a connection somewhere that I missed?
Overall, the hot bits were pretty good, but the packaging was iffy.
Ratings for "Trade Show"
Technical merit 8
Plot and character 7
Appeal to reviewer 7
"Bikini Brigade" by Andrew Roller (roller39@idt.net). Guest review by Piper.
Oh, dear. Katie and Bambi are in trouble. Big trouble. You see, one of them
stole a bag of gummi bears, did something bad, and failed to do something
good, all on the same day.
Katie was running away from home because she didn't want to go with the woman
from Child Protective Services. Bambi went along for the ride. Actually,
it's the other way around. 13 year old Bambi was doing the driving in her
brand new candy-apple-red 4x4, while 12 year old Katie was navigating. So
there they are. Lost. In the dark. On a purple road paved with Wild Berry
Pop Rocks. Around them, candy apples grow from candy apple trees, while gold-
foil-covered chocolate leaves fall from the maple trees. They find a sign
made of peanut brittle. On it, written in licorice, is a message - "Welcome
to Candyland". Under that, in smaller letters, is written "Citadel - 307ks".
Out from the woods steps Boswell the Berry Bear, who explains where they are,
how they got there (see above things that Katie did), why they arrived there,
and how they might get back home. Then he tells them the bad news - Licorice
Lad is looking for some young human girls to...to...,uh, well, to do indecent
things with, involving parts of their bodies they normally keep clothed, and
Katie and Bambi are the only young human girls currently in Candyland. Bambi
calls it as she sees it - Licorice Lad wants to fuck them.
With characters like Licorice Lad (the bad guy who usurped the Sultan's
throne), Fruitcake Freddie (who _really_ likes Licorice Lad), Tommy the
Terrible Troll, and Gumdrop Guy, and places like Licorice Loch, the Soda Sea,
the Marshmellow (sic) Marsh, and the Peppermint Forest (where Candy Canes
grow), I wasn't sure what movie I was reading. "The Wizard of Oz?" "Alice in
Wonderland?" Something starring Shirley Temple?
As usual, Andrew has written a tight, highly detailed, and imaginative story.
Unlike usual, this story has a real plot, development, fantastically overblown
caricatures for characters, and many twists and turns. Like, is Fruitcake
Freddie a good guy or a bad guy? Will the Gingerman Autonomy movement figure
in the big finale? Will Ms. Matilda Brunswald, Affidavit Al, Ms. Wilma Writ,
and Glenda Guilty, the folks from Child Protective Services, actually catch
the girls before they can put the real Sultan back on the throne? And what
about Tommy the Troll's candification machine? Will the girls escape before
it turns them into candy, trapping them in Candyland forever?
Also as usual, the young girls are bared in public more than proper decorum
would allow. Unlike a regular Andrew Roller story, I didn't notice a single
instance of a bottom getting reddened by a paddling, deserved or not. Nor did
I see any _S.E.X._ (At least, not by the 3/4 point. I won't say whether
there is or is not any of either in the last quarter of the story. That would
spoil the tension.) This is definitely not a normal Andrew Roller offering.
Then again, this is definitely not a normal a.s.s. story.
I liked it. I liked it a whole lot, despite the lacks mentioned above. This
is fun stuff, what with Bambi wearing one of Katie's bikinis, one that's two
sizes too small, one she keeps falling out of. Titillation and wild and wacky
goings-on make this a good story. After all, where else can you go paddling
about with six year old Pauline Praline on a giant orange popsicle on the Sea
of Cream and pick up ice cream cones with rainbow sprinkles on them as they go
floating by?
This is another long story (350k)
Ratings for "Bikini Brigade"
Technical merit 9.5
Plot and character 10
Appeal to reviewer 10
* "Brenda - A Love Story" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com). This story was
originally titled "Brenda's Conquest", and was retitled after revision by the
author. It is a story about a man who falls in love with a 13-year-old girl
with whom he has been familiar since she was nine. In addition, the girl's
11-year-old sister develops a sexual relationship with his own 17-year-old
sister. There's a lot more to the story than this, but I am not going to go
into the details here. All I'll say here is that it's a rich, well-developed
story that presents a reasonable perspective on the problems as well as of the
joys of such a relationship.
The author himself refers to this as a "pedophile love story." Interestingly,
my on-line dictionary does not define pedophile or pedophilia. It goes
straight from pedometer to peduncle. Go figure. However, my on-line
encyclopedia does have an article on the topic, which says this:
"Pedophilia is a psychosexual disorder characterized by a sexual desire for
and sexual acts with prepubescent children. Onset of the disorder can occur
from adolescence through old age, and it occurs predominantly in males. About
two-thirds of pedophiliacs are attracted to children of the opposite sex.
Based on evidence from criminal court records, pedophiles usually know the
children that they abuse. Most pedophiles resort to deception rather than
force. Although much is known about pedophilia, pedophiles themselves are
difficult to treat and recidivism rates are high."
In the present story, the "pedophile" doesn't actually do what my encyclopedia
says pedophiles do; he simply develops a consensual relationship with a
thirteen-year-old whom he has known for several years. You will note that
although the author himself describes this as a pedophile love story, I myself
have referred to it as a story of emerging adolescence and romance.
Nonetheless, it is important to realize that this story deals with a topic
that sets of alarms in the minds of people who are concerned about children
being harmed by pornography on the Internet. As a teacher in an American
public school, I am supposed to call to the attention of the legal authorities
behavior that is typically labeled pedophilia, if I become aware of it.
That's the rules, folks; and I could get into trouble for not following them.
I hasten to add that I am NOT a member of the Thought Police. I work with a
large number of troubled adolescents, and I HAVE worked with the authorities
in cases that they refer to as pedophilia. In no case that I have witnessed
has the relationship been like that described in this story. Every case I
have ever seen has revealed children who had their lives screwed up by an
exploitive adult.
The notion of falling in love with an innocent and precocious young person is
intuitively appealing. This story idealizes that intuitive appeal.
It seems reasonable that society can differentiate between exploitive sex with
children (which is vividly described in Michael K. Smith's "Remembering") and
emotionally sensitive relationships like those described in this story. It is
my own belief that most children are best advised to reach a reasonable level
of maturity before becoming sexually active and that many adults who become
sexually active with children are likely to be satisfying their own (perhaps
unconscious) needs rather than being helpful to the children. In addition, a
very large number of psychologists seem to agree with my belief, and the laws
of most countries in Western society support my position.
On the other hand, stories like this one are realistic presentations of
emotions and feelings. My hope is that reasonable people can set aside their
biases, read this as the good story it is, and perhaps let the insights they
get from this story influence their thinking about the issues involved. Many
people will read this story to get some good ideas on how to seduce little
kids or will reject it out of hand because it is about something that is
immoral. Both groups will waste a perfectly good story.
This story raises a simple question: is it possible to write a story in which
an adult has sexual relations with a young adolescent in a way that would be
approved by reasonable, socially responsible people? I think this story
(along with several others, including Randu's "Double Trouble" and Santo
Romeo's "Martha Jane") demonstrate that the answer is yes. The related (and
more volatile) question is can this happen in real life? The answer certainly
must be yes, it CAN happen. The crucial question is DOES it happen? Or are
all adults who do this sexual perverts, as most laws seem to suggest?
As I have said earlier, literally all the young children whom I have known to
have experienced sex with an adult were severely exploited. It may not always
be accurate to call their partners perverts; "sick" or "dysfunctional" may be
better words for some of them. But - and this is an important BUT - kids who
have had perfectly adaptive - even wonderful - relationships like those
described in this story would have no incentive to come forth and talk to me
about it. In fact, if they did so, the adults whom they loved would possibly
suffer dire consequences. I seriously doubt that all adult-child sexual
relationships are as destructive as some child advocacy people would have us
believe; but I also think that most real-life adult-child sexual relationships
are exploitive.
I cannot conclude without mentioning one important issue. I think we need to
let kids be kids. In recent years movies and TV shows (especially the soaps)
have combined with peer pressure to urge kids to rush into adulthood way too
fast. An important part of the mother's logic in this story was that if
Brenda didn't have sexual relations with Richard, she'd be having sex with
someone else real soon. To the extent that her insight is accurate, her
decision to permit sex with Richard may be valid. But might it not be better
to find a way to encourage kids to grow up before they have sexual relations?
As I understand it, something like 25-40% of kids in the Western world don't
have sex until they are at least 18 years old. Granted, a bunch of these
people have major hang-ups; but statistically they're OK people. If I may use
myself as a case study, I think I really do all right sexually, even though I
had a full childhood before I began my active sex life; and I THINK the same
can be said of my daughters. Sexuality isn't the only area in which we tend
to push kids too fast; I constantly see parents trying to push preschoolers
into academic programs when they should be playing games or reading Little Red
Riding Hood. Ooops! {For an explanation of this Ooops, see the review of
"The Better To...." later in this issue.} Let's let kids be kids!
I like stories that raise thought-provoking questions in interesting contexts.
This story does exactly that.
Ratings for "Brenda - A Love Story"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Adrienne a la Mode" by Cynthia (SLowhand@dial.pipex.com). Guest review by
BluePencil.
A respected writer in another genre once said that plot ideas were one of the
easiest things to come by; it was turning them into a good story that required
hard work.
Unfortunately, this is one of the hardest things for aspiring writers to
absorb. Far too often they feel the need for an exotic plot, locale, or
characters. In alt.sex.stories, this often translates into people with
unlikely physical measurements and unusual athletic attainments making love
with each other, assorted relatives, and the occasional polar bear while
riding the roller coaster in their local amusement park. I'm exaggerating
slightly, perhaps - they probably wouldn't all fit in the roller coaster.
Perhaps the bumper cars.
There are at least two sorts of problems with this type of story:
First, it's usually a little hard to suspend your disbelief enough to forget
that it _is_ a story (if not, you and your dearest are probably scheduled for
one or more daytime talk shows in the near future).
Second, and far more irritating for the writer, is that if your story is
discussed at all it won't be for your masterful plotting, your command of the
language, or even your well-crafted sex scenes. Instead, people will remember
it as "the one where the bald-headed woman got it on with a camel in a pool of
lime jello." Irritating, unless you are willing to take this as a tribute to
your memorable characters.
Fortunately, there are writers out there, however rare, who are willing to
bypass the easy tricks and work at their craft. And even, amazingly, post the
results to alt.sex.stories.
Adrienne is a teacher. Tim is her businessman lover, who has trouble leaving
his work totally behind, even for an evening with the woman he loves. She
sets out to distract him. What happens? Does she arouse his interest, or at
least his libido? Does she succeed in driving work from his mind? And does
she get what she wants in the end? Read the story. Really.
Cynthia has taken the familiar elements of far too many ordinary stories and
transmuted them as thoroughly as coal into diamond. This is one of the best
written, believable, and appealing stories I have read on this newsgroup in
the past few months. I don't recall seeing any of Cynthia's stories before;
I'd like to thank Slowhand Luke for posting this one for her. I hope that it
is the first of many.
Ratings for "Adrienne a la Mode"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot and character): 10
BluePencil (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Boarding Pass" by Cynthia (Versutiae@aol.com). Guest review by Dart.
A couple, each with a career to pursue, may find it difficult to arrange their
schedules in order to be together. She travels, he travels: but with luck
their paths cross frequently enough that their physical need for each other
gets satisfied.
Well, for Tim and Adrienne, luck has recently been eluding them. They're
desperate for each other, but they're on their way to the airport, since she
has a plane to catch. And their ministrations during the drive only have the
effect of heightening their mutual frustration. They arrive at the airport
fifteen minutes before her boarding call, fifteen minutes to spend together.
At the gate, he rubs her shoulders, trying to ease her tension, soften their
parting. It doesn't work. They kiss; they rub; they get stared at.
Fifteen minutes later, she boards her flight a very happy frequent flyer.
You'll have to read the story to discover their innovative solution -
innovative and a little improbable. At least, I wouldn't have had the courage
to implement it.
This is a nicely written and nicely paced story. What I most liked about the
story, other than the couple's daring of course, was their affection for each
other.
Ratings for "Boarding Pass"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Dart (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Virgin (On the Ridiculous)" by Jordan Shelbourne (jordan@u36.com). Larry
and Tara are roommates. They have a chaste relationship; no sex - they just
live together. Tara has a boyfriend named Cliff who doesn't want to deflower
a virgin. He says it's too important a decision to make in the heat of
passion, and he doesn't want to hurt Tara. So Tara concludes that if Larry
would make love to her just once, then she wouldn't be a virgin anymore; and
then Cliff will be willing to boink her. As the title says, this is verging
on the ridiculous; but it's quite enjoyable.
I won't tell you more about this delightful story. You should read it
yourself. It's like a really good episode of "Three's Company" (if such an
oxymoron is possible) - except that this time "Two's Company."
Although literary critics would possibly classify this as farce, it contains
gems of wisdom, like this one: "I hate waiting to dry my hands under those
blowers, and you know, it's ten times worse if you're holding up a drunk who's
drying his hands." The story is a wonderful combination of sweet, sexy, and
hilarious.
Ratings for "Virgin (On the Ridiculous)"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Lawyers in Love" by A. Van Peebles (an182636@anon.penet.fi).
Q. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just two. Most lawyers will screw anywhere. But it may be hard for them
to get inside the light bulb.
That joke has nothing to do with this story (except it's about lawyers), but
humor and social commentary are important components of these reviews.
This is one of the best stories involving lesbian love that I have ever read.
If someone wanted to write a textbook chapter on how an older woman who
identifies herself as a lesbian should begin a romantic relationship with a
younger person confused about her sexual identity, this story would provide a
good foundation. While realistically portraying the feelings of Kate and
Becky, this story avoids such pitfalls as stereotyping people as gays or
straights and exploiting a vulnerable young woman who is confused about life.
The story doesn't use gimmicks to turn us on. I have never been involved in a
relationship like the one described here, but as I read the story I could
REMEMBER these things happening to me. What I mean by that is that the author
presented the story line so plausibly and authentically that I found myself
identifying with the characters and saying to myself, "Yeah, that's the way it
was."
An important comment that I want to add is that the story was so well written
that when I was near the middle of the story and Becky in her drunken stupor
first kissed Kate, at least two endings would have been perfectly plausible
and acceptable. First, Becky could have realized the value of a lesbian
lifestyle for herself and entered into a relationship with Kate.
Alternatively, Becky could have found the relationship with Kate to be
fulfilling, but could have continued to seek an even more fulfilling
relationship with someone else - perhaps with Peter. (Other endings would also
be possible and emotionally acceptable.)
While reading this story, I was reminded of events and fantasies in my own
life. As I point out in my FAQ, I lead a monogamous heterosexual lifestyle,
yet I happily admit to enjoying and being turned on by the activities and
emotions expressed in this story about a lesbian relationship. I mention this
because I think it is important to stress that while sexual identity is
obviously important, it is also sensible to avoid premature or inaccurate
labeling. I think it is important that people (especially young people) avoid
labeling themselves as "gay," "straight," or "bisexual" based on fantasies or
isolated experiences.
When I was young, I had trouble relating to guys and found myself thinking
horny thoughts about other women. I even had a crush on a female teacher. As
an adult, I have discovered that nearly all my female friends report similar
feelings. In retrospect, I think my feelings occurred because I was shy (or
perhaps socially inept) around boys - nearly all of whom were assholes at that
time anyway, while the girls with whom I participated in sports seemed to me
to be mature, sexy creatures whose tits bounced enticingly when I was with
them in the showers and locker rooms. I had access to two highly competent
persons at the time (known as parents) who noticed my reactions and convinced
me that I was normal - even though they never gave me a specific lecture about
it.
I think it would have been foolish for me to have concluded at that time that
I "was" lesbian. Even now, sexy women turn me on. The cosmetic companies
count on them to do so; otherwise I would never buy that overpriced stuff they
put into bottles and other containers. I recently had an orgasm while I was
alone and watching a woman masturbate in a porn flick.. I also got turned on
while reading the sexy lesbian scenes in this story. I don't think either of
these admissions make it sensible to say that I "am" bisexual today.
I have selected heterosexual monogamy as my lifestyle, and I feel good about
it. Because of this choice, I'll never have an opportunity to make passionate
love to a sexy woman; but I see no conflict in enjoying a good story about
someone else doing so.
The label "heterosexual" is also detrimental, but in a more subtle way
(because it is more socially accepted in the culture that surrounds me). I
enjoy playing with myself. I enjoy it when my husband fondles, kisses, licks,
etc. my genitals (or practically anything else, for that matter). By what
grotesque stretch of logic am I supposed to believe that it would be
UNenjoyable to have a sensitive female partner play with me instead? I'm not
going to do it; but that's because of a lifestyle choice (called marriage),
not because it would be anything but intensely satisfying to have a luscious
little beauty tongue my clit while I felt her juices drip across my face as I
buried my face in her pussy.
Do I think that reading and enjoying stories about hot lesbian love is likely
to "make" me a lesbian? No, I don't. I DO think these stories make it more
likely that if something would happen to my present relationship with my
husband (for example, if he would die) I would be more likely to consider a
lesbian relationship afterwards; but if I were a betting person, I'd still bet
on my finding a good man for my next relationship.
I guess what I'm saying is that good erotic fiction should and does have an
effect on readers; but to the extent that it's realistic and readers have
their heads on straight, this is not really a problem. If readers don't have
their heads on straight or if the stories give a well written but distorted
view of reality, I think such stories can and do cause problems.
I'm sorry! I've just realized that I've written 550 words that tend to
digress from my topic. I'll stop right now - except to say that I think the
logic expressed in the preceding paragraphs applies to other areas as well.
For example, enjoying a well written, stimulating pedophile or D&s story does
not mean that you "are" a pedophile or submissive or whatever; it just means
that you recognize certain sexy aspects of such stories. It is my opinion
that regularly reading and enjoying such stories does, in fact, make it more
likely that the person reading and enjoying them would engage in these
activities if given a chance to do so and if there were no good reasons to
refrain. If that presents a problem (as I think is the case with rape and
pedophila), the solution is not to blame or denounce the stories, but rather
to look for and give importance to legitimate, sound reasons why such
behaviors need to be avoided - perhaps by reading or writing stories that show
more realistic consequences. (One of the stories on my Top 100 list did just
that. In "Raped Teen Burglar" TEX took a story about how much fun it would be
to rape a teenage girl and turned it into a vivid description of the likely
consequences of that kind of activity.) These insights may obvious to many of
you, and others may disagree with them; but I think I'll leave them in this
review. After all, I gave you that great lawyer joke; so a little seriousness
may be in order.
Back to the story. The first two thirds of the story was about the
development of the relationship and contained no sex, and while I read it I
thought that maybe the extreme objectivity of the author's style might make
the eventual sex scene less than interesting. Not to worry! This is a really
good story, and I hope to see more writing by this author.
Ratings for "Lawyers in Love"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
Ratings for "Kate and Me"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Kate and Me: Friendship Spilled Over" by The Bear. {Note from Celeste:
We have two authors who call themselves The Bear. The author of this story I
shall call The Old Bear. As far as I know, he has not posted in a long time;
and his stories tended to be sensitive treatments of sex between young
adolescents and older partners. The New Bear does not write stories that
touch even close to pedophile behavior. His stories are about sex in
general.}
How would I feel if my own intelligent and sensitive daughter fell deeply in
love with a close friend of the family when she was 16 and he was 35? Would I
be upset if they began making passionate and frequent love to one another?
Yes, I guess I would be upset. But this is a story about exactly that, and
it's a beautiful story. The author focuses on romance; he doesn't fool around
with the formulas and rituals that so often appear in the hot sex stories. I
love sexy stories that are based on something other than the cuteness of a
person's ass or the size of his sex organ. Nevertheless, the sex is really
hot - because it is so passionate and because we understand the reasons behind
what the lovers are doing. Anyone who has been deeply in love and has wanted
to do something that was obviously right but was also obviously wrong will
understand the emotions expressed in this story. The author develops an
atmosphere in which he mixes the moral ambiguity with the passion the two
lovers feel for each other. This is a really well written, outstanding story.
Ratings for "Kate and Me"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "A Cold Day in Hell" by Delta (delta*@bc.sympatico.ca). Miller is an
electronics repairman. He just wants to be left alone. His one true love has
gone away, and he doesn't want to take chances again. It's not that life has
no meaning: it's just that the meaning comes from the feeling of triumph when
a piece of broken electronic equipment springs back to life. Then he finds a
homeless young woman and brings her home - not for sex, but simply because he
just couldn't leave her there on the street. You can probably figure out
where this story is going, but it's still very interesting to see how Delta
gets us there. Besides, you might be surprised!
This is a long, good story with very little sex. But the long, good part of
the story makes the short, erotic part very sexy.
Ratings for "A Cold Day in Hell"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
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