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Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 233 - Nov 12
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Celestial Reviews 233 - November 12, 1997
Note: Someone recently reposted "First Love," one of my favorite stories
ever. If anyone knows the name of the author, I'd like to obtain that
information. I want to repeat my recommendation that you should put both the
title of any story you post and the name of the author IN THE MANUSCRIPT
ITSELF. Uther Pendragon recently wrote the following in a.s.s.d.:
Putting your name on your *posts* isn't enough. The title of your story
should be followed by your byline. The two of them should be on top of your
story below all introductory material and warnings. Then they should both be
repeated at the end of the story. I'm not talking about sigfiles; I mean:
"THE END
Foretaste
Uther Pendragon"
Not only does this help prevent someone from stealing your story, it also
helps other people (such as struggling reviewers) figure out who wrote the
story and what its title is. Stories often get separated from the cover
messages that originally accompany them. If all I have is the story and it
has no author's name or title, I really cannot do a good job of reviewing it.
In addition, a reader who likes the story cannot contact the author or look
for more stories by that author.
Second note: (A joke from a cunning linguist) An American businessman of
Irish extraction had made his bundle, and decided to retire to the Emerald
Isle and become a gentleman farmer. Upon arriving at the Old Sod, he bought
some land with a farmhouse, then decided it was time to acquire some
livestock. He thereupon began marching to the neighboring farm, to see what
he could buy.
Halfway there, he came upon a local denizen riding on a donkey. "Hello
there," said the American. "How much would you want for that handsome donkey
of yours?"
"Twenty pounds, sir," said the local. "But here in Ireland we call it an ass,
not a donkey."
"Very well," said our friend. "Here's twenty pounds." The money and the
donkey changed hands, and our friend mounted his new steed and proceeded to
ride to the next farm.
When he approached the farm, he saw his neighbor in the chicken coop, feeding
his poultry. One brightly colored rooster immediately caught the American's
eye. "Top o' the mornin' to you, neighbor," he said. "How much would you
want for that good-looking rooster there?"
"Two pounds, my friend," said the farmer. "But hereabout we call it a cock,
not a rooster."
"You have a deal!" said the American, handing the farmer the money and taking
the rooster. He placed the rooster under his arm, and proceeded to ride to
the next farm to see if there were any bargains there.
The next farmer was also feeding his chickens when our friend arrived, and
one chicken in particular stood out among all the rest.
"Hello neighbor," he said, pointing to that chicken. "I'd like to buy this
chicken from you. How much would you want?"
"One pound would make you her proud owner," said the farmer. "But here in
Ireland we call it a pullet, not a chicken."
"Right!" said the American, handing the farmer a pound note. Beaming with
pride, he put the chicken under his other arm, and started riding back to his
farm.
As he approached his property, a farmer atop a hay wagon suddenly appeared
from beyond a curve in the road. The donkey was startled and reared on its
hind legs, throwing our friend to the ground. The rooster and the chicken,
sensing their opportunity, quickly slipped away and began their escape.
Our friend began frantically chasing his animals, but they proved to elusive
to catch. Realizing he needed help, and remembering the local terminology, he
turned to the farmer on the hay wagon.
"Excuse me sir!" he shouted, "Would you mind holding my ass while I grab my
cock and pullet?"
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Under Cover" by Mike Hunt (phone sex) 10, 10, 10
"Full House" by Unknown Author (sitcom parody with
pedophilia) 8, 5, 3
"The Choice" by Gamble (threesome in spirit-world)
9, 9, 9
"Tales of the East Indies" by Sven the Elder (exotic sex)
10, 10, 10
"A Dialogue Lesson" by Felix Lance Falkon (mm sex & grammar)
10, 10, 10
"Julie's Journey" by Vixen (threesome) 9, 7, 7
"Erotic Hideaway" by LM 1 (romantic sex) 10, 10, 10
"Catfight" by Mona (bdsm) 7, 7, 5
Guest Reviews:
"The Island" by losgud (adult incest) 9, 8, 9
"Rebel Monk of Wu Tang" by H.D. Meister (seduction)
8, 4, 2
"Boarding Pass" by Cynthia (airport sex) 10, 10, 9
"Cream Rub" by Captain Atom (massage parlor suck & fuck)
10, 8, 9
"Exchange Program" by Clint Quinn (sci fi sex) 10, 9, 10
"Just One Of The Guys" by Ann Douglas (gender reversal)
9.5, 10, 10
Reposted Reviews:
* "First Love" by Unknown Author (emerging adolescence
& romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Friction" by Mark Aster (threesome) 10, 9, 9
* "Exchange Program" by Clint Quinn (sci fi sex) 10, 10, 10
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"Under Cover" by Mike Hunt (MrM1ke@aol.com). I know some of you readers
think that I AM Mike Hunt. That's possibly because I enjoy Mike Hunt so much
and have great respect for Mike Hunt. But to be honest, I have to admit that
my admiration for Mike Hunt is based primarily on the fact that in a
sophomoric way sentences like the previous one are a lot of fun to read out
loud. My brother used to have a similar affinity for people he referred to
as I.P. Daily and Seymour Heine, the reputed authors of "The Yellow River"
and "Under the Cheerleaders' Bench," respectively.
No, Mike Hunt is Mike Hunt - a unique author whose imagination sometimes
astounds me. Take the present story, for example. Where would anyone get
the idea for a plot about a guy who decides to do some investigative
reporting on phone sex and then finds himself talking to a former classmate
during his first interview? Then when he visits her for an in-person
interview, the phone-sex goddess builds a fantasy for a caller around her
alleged experiences with Mike Hunt, who, of course, is sitting there in her
"office" getting himself off while listening to her end of the conversation.
Where would a person get an idea for a story like this? The simplest
explanation is that it must be true. However, the best explanation is that
he probably got it from his cellmate. <Celeste 1, Mike Hunt 0>
One question I have is how did Jenny Sue get out of paying taxes? I thought
I was being really clever by managing to get out of taxes for my profits on
Celestial Reviews. But my method {making no profit whatsoever and therefore
being obligated to pay no taxes at all} pales in comparison to this woman's
method. I suspect her technique wouldn't really work; at the very least
she'd have to have sex with several IRS or Bell Atlantic representatives.
Anyway, this is another good story. And I haven't told you the half of it!
Well, actually I HAVE told you just about half of it, but you might as well
read the story anyway.
Ratings for "Under Cover"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Full House" by Unknown Author. Ever since his teenage years Joey has known
he was a pedophile. And since Danny and his wife had the girls he has never
passed up the opportunity to visit and admire the girls as they grew up. Now
he is left alone with Stephanie, the cute little sex-year-old. But Joey is a
harmless guy; dirty thoughts are only in his mind. The prospect of actually
DOING anything with the girls is out of the question. He will never get the
opportunity; girls this age aren't interested in such things. So he has only
admired from a distance.
But alas, Joey gets aroused during the movie he and Stephanie are watching
and the little girl says, "Come on, Joey, show it to me! You've seen me
plenty of times in the bath tub!" You might think that things will get out
of hand, but they don't. Not at first anyway: he just fucks her orally and
anally. But then DJ and Kimmie catch him in the act, and Joey discovers that
the whole pathological family is into pedophilia and incest. In its own
dysfunctional way, this is a heartwarming story, I suppose. But it really is
not a very good parody of the TV sitcom with this title.
Ratings for "Full House"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3
"The Choice" by Gamble (eledin@netcom.com). Rashena's husband Eleron has been
seduced into some sort of spirit world by a mysterious, sensuous female
creature. In an attempt to recover Eleron's full affection, Rashena follows
him into that spirit world. But the spirit's power is so great that she
coerces Rashena also into a sensuous threesome. If you can't lick 'em, join
'em.
This is a first story by a new author. It could have benefited from some
proofreading, but it's already pretty good. I hope to see more from this
author.
Ratings for "The Choice"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Tales of the East Indies" by Sven the Elder (sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk).
This story struck me as a sort of a cross between a Joseph Conrad short
story and a couple of those letters in the Penthouse Forum that I claim I
never read on the plane when I've been away from my husband for a long time
so that I'm horny as hell by the time I get into his arms. Meanwhile, he....
Ooops! I'll save that for my next letter to the Forum.
The story covers the author's recent visit to "one of the more civilised
parts of South East Asia" - that part of the world where they are so genteel
and "civilised" that they use names like "Bang Cock" for major cities and
people have names like "Low Hung Dong." The sex is interesting and nicely
described.
Anyway, by messing around on this trip, the narrator of this story (which is
all true, except the bits he made up, and even they might be true), improves
his relationship with his wife. I have serious doubts about the authenticity
of that statement. However, the story about his escapades DID improve my
relationship with my husband, and least for a half hour or so.
Ratings for "Tales of the East Indies"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"A Dialogue Lesson" by Felix Lance Falkon (owlswick@netaxs.com). I don't
review very many male/male sex stories - mostly because I'm too busy
reviewing stories that involve females. However, when I stumbled across this
little gem, I thought I should share it with you.
The basic idea is that the author uses the story itself (about two guys
having sex) to demonstrate how to punctuate a dialogue between two people.
It's very cleverly done; and if you can keep your mind off the sex (which
should be easy, if you're not a gay man), you can learn a lot from this
example.
Ratings for "A Dialogue Lesson"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Julie's Journey" by Vixen (nymph@sirius.com). Julie has traveled a long
distance to meet her boyfriend. She meets a woman on the final leg of her
trip and invites her to come along with her; and, well, she cums along with
her. The boyfriend is delighted, and a good time is had by all.
Ratings "Julie's Journey"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Erotic Hideaway" by LM 1 (RNRH85C@prodigy.com). This is a really simple but
well-written story about a man and a woman who are deeply in love with each
other and who go away for a romantic tryst at a mountain cabin. There's not
much else to say about it. Read it with someone you love.
Ratings "Erotic Hideaway"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Catfight" by Mona (edited by Kathy) (From Kristen's Collection <
kristen78@aol.com>).
Yesterday at lunch I was walking through the cafeteria, when I heard a male
voice shout "Catfight!" as he rushed out the door. I followed the crowd and
found two blonde bimbos - er, students - grappling viciously on the ground.
I grabbed the top girl, and a male teacher seized the other. After I pulled
mine to her feet, she lunged at me; and I grasped her hand in a simple wrist
lock; whereupon, she said, "God! You're killing me!" I answered that maybe
that would be a good reason to move along to the principal's office quickly.
This story explains what I SHOULD have done. Sort of. Basically, it's a
rehash of "It's My Party and I'll Humiliate You Publicly If You Fuck with My
Hunk If I Want To." It's probably a decent story (without jello, of course)
for people who like this sort of thing. Personally, I think with a little
work, my own story would be better. {As we entered the door to the
principal's office, there was Miss Johnson, sprawled across the principal's
desk with her ass almost glistening in the sunlight, moist from his tongue,
which was gently rimming....}
Ratings "Catfight"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"The Island" by losgud (lushgod@hotnomail.com). Guest review by Bookman.
Coming off the rubble of "The Amazing Adventures of Penis Boy", I found this
story to be like a high hard dose in an oxygen bar. Clean, clear, and fresh.
Actually, the two stories shouldn't even be mentioned together, for "Island"
is a very good story. The narrator is a 40-ish man who goes out to an
isolated family cabin to prepare for the rest of the family's arrival for an
upcoming holiday. Looking forward to some time alone, he is mildly chagrined
when his married daughter decides to come along. Then daughter comes along.
. .
"Island" stands above the usual Daddy Does Daughter crowd of incest stories
in several respects. One, the parties are of an age where, even though they
are related, they can choose for themselves; and two, these people genuinely
like and respect each other. At no time is there even a hint that either
party is taking undue or unfair advantage of the other, so that the
relationship is free of a taint that many other writers doing incest stories
would like to ignore but can't quite get away from.
Losgud gives his protagonist a laconic, amusing voice and attitude that makes
him a character I, for one, would like to know in person. The daughter is
less well visualized, which leaves the reader unfortunately stuck solely in
the narrator's head. We never really see the forces that move her to her
(what must be life-changing) decision. She offers a vague
"this-is-something-I've-always-wanted-to-do" kind of reasoning, which I found
unsatisfying, given the rich reality woven for the character of the father.
The humorous voice of the narrator, one of the central features in the
construction of the story, is also disturbing, on a basic level. Losgud's
words drawl across the page, making the father a likable person in his own
right, but they have the counter effect of diluting the sex when it finally
arrives. There's no way an author (go ahead, prove me wrong, folks) can
maintain that kind of self-mocking attitude going through an intense sex
scene. {Actually, take a look at Mike Hunt or Friar Dave- Celeste.} Either
the very single-minded concentration demanded to make the sex hot will
obviate the self-mockery, or the sense of humor will make the intensity of
the sex scene seem hollow and silly. Losgud tries to go for hot-and-heavy,
but doesn't achieve it, and the final result is a haphazard
warm-and-romantic. The story maintains its integrity as a whole, but one
senses the lack of a commitment to the act, and the changed relationship
implied by the act, that would have brought the entire incident into sharper
focus.
The story is posted in two parts, and the reader is left with the vague
feeling that there's a Part 3 lurking out there somewhere. These two people
have started changes in their lives that will ripple out in unseeable
directions. Losgud's ending only hints at what those directions might be.
Technically, very good. I only found one typo, which means the more
obsessive of you are now free to go perusing through the story to find what
it was.
Ratings for "Island"
Athena: 9
Venus: 8
Apollo: 9
"Perverted Monks: Rebel Monk of Wu Tang" by H.D. Meister
(dez187lm@hotmail.com). Guest review by Sven the Elder.
The Author starts by saying that, and I quote - "I've been told that the best
way to enjoy a masterpiece is to look at the entire work first."
Now that just happens to be the way I review stories as well. Except that
this gave me a problem. Generally, as I read something, an idea - an
approach, whatever, begins to gel in my mind as to how I can proceed, what
direction I can take, what slant to put on things. But after my first and
second read through's of this story there was nothing, other than the
somewhat unkind thought that as an entry for alt.sex.*stories* {my emphasis}
- this was almost an off-topic post.
There I feel better for that, now let's look in a little more detail at what
is going on. This is a description of the author of both himself and the way,
almost clinically, that he goes about, in a very streetwise way, seducing
young women in his environment. It is short - a couple of pages; given the
length, it is very fact-oriented; it is also quite well constructed. It is
also pretty short on entertainment value. Hence my earlier comment that it
was close to being off-topic. I have to say that the style, the
introduction, almost the apology for the writer's background have little to
do with my rejection. It would not matter if the author were green, came
from Mars, and had sex by sticking his finger in either his own or his
partner's ear; I like to be entertained. I find that the various very good
and established (and also the not so established) writers and contributors
to our sexy, fantasy world, mostly do this to great success. Some a little
tongue-in-cheek, some with great seriousness, others with either great
eroticism or romanticism. But all with one common theme - they seek to
entertain. Sadly this tract is too matter of fact, too clinical and as a
story has no development. Sorry, not for me; and as you can imagine my
ratings reflect that.
Ratings for "Rebel Monk of Wu Tang"
Technical quality: 8
Plot & character: 4
Sven (appeal to reviewer): 2
"Boarding Pass" by Cynthia (Versutiae@aol.com). Guest review by Dart.
A couple, each with a career to pursue, may find it difficult to arrange
their schedules in order to be together. She travels, he travels: but with
luck their paths cross frequently enough that their physical need for each
other gets satisfied.
Well, for Tim and Adrienne, luck has recently been eluding them. They're
desperate for each other, but they're on their way to the airport, since she
has a plane to catch. And their ministrations during the drive only have the
effect of heightening their mutual frustration. They arrive at the airport
fifteen minutes before her boarding call, fifteen minutes to spend together.
At the gate, he rubs her shoulders, trying to ease her tension, soften their
parting. It doesn't work. They kiss; they rub; they get stared at.
Fifteen minutes later, she boards her flight a very happy frequent flyer.
You'll have to read the story to discover their innovative solution -
innovative and a little improbable. At least, I wouldn't have had the courage
to implement it.
This is a nicely written and nicely paced story. What I most liked about the
story, other than the couple's daring of course, was their affection for each
other.
Ratings for "Boarding Pass"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Dart (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Cream Rub" by Captain Atom (captatom@thepentagon.com). Guest Review by M1ke
Hunt.
"Cream Rub" by Captain Atom is one of those simple fuck and suck stories that
readers around here seem to enjoy. Of course it would be only fair to note
that there's no fucking or sucking in the piece, but if you ponder the hidden
meaning in the title you can probably figure out what the story's about.
Technically proficient, not much character development, but quite appealing.
Especially if you haven't been to a massage parlor lately.
Damn. Gave away the surprise twist ending.
Ratings for "Cream Rub"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Mikeus (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Exchange Program" by Clint Quinn. Guest review by M1KE HUNT. {Note from
Celeste: I originally reposted a guest review of this story back in CR 194.
I could pretend that I am doing a validity check - sending the story to a
second reviewer to check for consistency; but actually what we have here is a
case of the original review arriving about five months late, after I had
reassigned it to someone else. Since I never ignore anything by Mike Hunt <I
love to read Mike Hunt sentences out loud!>, I'm posting Mike's review here.
I'll repost the other review (by Michael K. Smith) at the end of this issue.
As you can see, they are in agreement that this is a good story. Now maybe
somebody will repost this story....}
S'pose, just for the sake of argument, you met a girl who looked 15 but was
really 40, and s'pose she'd never had sex, and s'pose she asked you to teach
her about it. Oh, and I forgot to mention, s'pose she was an alien from the
planet Welnaria. You'd still "do it," right?
Luckily female Welnarians are anatomically the same as female humans, but for
males the Welnarian penis is just three centimeters long, oh, and on Welnaria
sex is only for procreation, not recreation. Well naturally lady Welnaria is
curious when she happens upon (literally) the standard earthling package.
Hell, she'd have even thought *I* was big.
"Exchange Program" is a cute sci-fi story about Welnarian sex, or the lack of
it. If the "sci-fi" parts scares you off, don't let it, because there's not
much of it here. In fact, the story could have been about first-sex for a
15-year-old without much of a rewrite. The author doesn't spend a lot of time
conjuring up futuristic images for the backdrop, but that's OK, because it's
a bright read even without it.
It's worth a few minutes of your time, especially if your spaceship is stuck
at Galaxon 5 because of the neutron particle bombardment in the Xy-4 ring
that's been screwing up everybody's travel schedule lately.
Ratings for "Exchange Program"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Mikeus (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Just One Of the Guys" by Ann Douglas (annd@pop.tiac.net). Guest Review by
Piper.
Oh, dear. Terry Griffith has gotten herself into a rather awkward situation.
How did he do this? Simple. She went on a double date. What's wrong with
that, you ask? After all, at 18, he's likely been out on a few double dates
before. The difference with this one is that the date is with Sandy, a
beautiful young lady.
If you're wondering, Terry is actually a young woman, a high school senior in
this story. She wants to be a writer, a newspaper columnist; and she's very
serious about it. Unfortunately, *serious* doesn't seem to hold any weight
with the teachers when you're beautiful and have legs that go on forever.
This comment, from the school paper's faculty adviser, seems to summarize
everyone's attitude, including her boyfriend and younger brother:
"You should have something to fall back on if you don't make it
as a reporter. You're a pretty girl, you could be a model."
In a sort of twist on the _Victor/Victoria_ theme, Terry switches schools,
and switches genders. *She* is now *he*.
My advice? Girls, if you want to masquerade as a guy, don't get cornered
into going out on a double date. If you do get talked into it, don't agree
with going to the local make-out spot. If you find yourself there anyway,
don't let the other couple disappear, and don't get half corked. If
everything goes wrong and you find yourself alone with your date in a dark,
sandy cave and you're not quite sober, do not - I repeat - do not let your
date stick her hand down your pants.
Too bad Terry didn't have the benefit of my advice ;-).
I liked this story. Despite appearances, it's not really a TG type of story,
since Terry doesn't really want to be a man. She just wants the kind of respe
ct a man automatically gets in a man's world (still a truth, even today).
Also, this is a rather light-hearted look into the problem, one that only
touches on the serious side of this premise. My only real quibble is
technical. The storyline is tight, but the proofreading is incomplete.
Commas are occasionally used inappropriately, as are periods. Normally this
isn't a problem, especially if the author is doing this to create a
particular feel or mood, but in this case, the errors actually interfere with
the smooth flow of the story.
Ratings for "Just One Of The Guys"
Technical merit 9.5
Plot and character 10
Appeal to reviewer 10
* "First Love" by Unknown Author. This story presents an interesting paradox.
I don't know who wrote it or how it got posted. I want to review it and
give it some publicity, because it is good. On the other hand, I don't want
to violate the author's copyright privileges. I don't mind associating with
and befriending people who write about topics that are taboo to "decent
society"; in fact I find most of the people who write for and lurk on this
newsgroup to be interesting, intelligent people with whom I share common
interests. But I draw the line at copyright infringement. The authors work
hard on these stories, and they deserve to receive credit for their own work.
Using simple logic, since I know two people who say they got this story
through this newsgroup, I think I can assume that it was posted here at least
once. In general people who post are willing to have their work reposted in
the same forum; or even better, they'll repost it themselves if they become
aware of the request to do so. Therefore, what I am going to do is post this
REVIEW and let someone else (either a reposter like Red Dragon, who seems to
have an extensive collection, or the author him/herself) repost the actual
story.
After I read the first few lines of this story, I simply could not put it
down. This story is long - real long - nearly 95,000 words long. I knew I sh
ould have been correcting my students' papers and going over the next day's
lesson; but I rationalized by telling myself that this story was about kids
like those I teach, and this story would help me understand those kids
better. Right! That's the ticket! Read this story for its pedagogical
value.
The story focuses primarily on a young girl going through her high school
years and her first sexual experiences. Aside from its interesting plot,
what I liked most about this story was its realistic use of interesting
details and events. For example, without realizing that the answering
machine is recording his entire conversation, Matt brags to his friend on the
telephone about his conquest of Jen. His parents listen to the recording and
have to confront him. Later, Matt gets beat up by Jen's former boyfriend.
When he gets home afterwards, his mother hastily assumes that Jen had
something to do with the beating and angrily drags Matt off to Jen's house to
confront her. It is difficult to predict the reaction of the protagonists to
these subtle but interesting events; and they greatly enrich the plot as it
unfolds.
Jen and the others in the story experience occasional communication problems
- usually arising from moods and an inability to express emotions correctly.
These problems are common among young people going through adolescence. The
author understands these problems thoroughly and does a good job of setting
them up and bringing them to resolution.
What this story actually reads like is a juiced-up Judy Blume novel. I'm
certain it's not, since I have read all of that author's acknowledged work.
Wouldn't it be nice if kids could read and discuss a book like this in their
English classes? They can't, of course, because it talks about kids having
sex and uses words like clit, cum, and cunt. The characters also engage in
ecstatic sex that is a lot of fun and in irresponsible activities that cause
them really serious problems. Of course, since high school kids don't have
sex and don't know the meaning of clit, cum, and cunt, they shouldn't read a
story like this - even if the vicarious experience might help them deal with
some of those problems in their own lives. They should read "The Scarlet
Letter" and "Moby Dick" instead. The good news is that in schools all over
the country we are forcing kids to read Hawthorne and Melville, and their
predominant reaction is to think those authors really suck. Kids mean
nothing personal against those authors when they say things like that - they
have no idea what those stories are about anyway, unless they read Cliff's
Notes. Since the present story is banned for them, they'll almost certainly
read it, enjoy it, and learn from it. I certainly hope somebody reposts this
story soon, so that the young people who don't lurk on this newsgroup can not
read it.
Ratings for "First Love"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Friction" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). There is trouble in paradise.
Mike (a lesbian introduced last week in "Dykes Crossing") and Our Hero (the
lad who has performed the honors of impregnating Pat) appear to be in direct
competition - vying for Pat's attention and affection. Julie (Pat's younger
but equally lascivious sister) suggests a solution: a joint emboikment, with
Our Hero filling Pat's anal cavity while Mike works the front side. Will the
dyke and the hetboy work out their hostilities and become friends? Will Pat
feel exploited by this competition among her suitors? And to what activity or
abstract concept does the title refer? You can probably guess the answers,
but you should read the story to see what the author has to say.
Ratings for "Friction"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Exchange Program" by Clint Quinn (A+ Story). Classic science fiction is a
tough genre in which to cast believable murder mysteries and erotic romances.
(We're talking about "strange new worlds" here, not cyberpunk.) Asimov
managed mysteries and this author does a very creditable job with erotica.
Alain has gotten fed up with academic politics on Earth and emigrates to the
idyllic pioneer planet of New Ontario (which leads me to suspect the author
is Canadian . . .). Just as he arrives at his destination, his sister,
Claudine, possessor of a legendary libido, is headed out to the world of
Welnaria for a month. Her Welnarian exchange is Kera, a slightly modified
human woman who appears to be an adolescent but is actually an acutely formal
forty-plus years of age. The Welnarians have given up sex-for-pleasure in
exchange for reproductive control; they now assume themselves to be
irretrievably "numbed," as Kera puts it. But we know better, don't we?
Mr. Quinn has a very smooth style and succeeds in evoking the energetic,
liberated personality of a society made up largely of disgusted self-exiles
for whom Earth no longer offers opportunities. (Alain's new best friend is
Grigor, a Russian quantum- mechanic-turned-tractor-mechanic.) He also handles
semi-alien sex very nicely, . . . though I would like to know just what Kera
is saying when, in the throes of passion, she exclaims "Oss novit capetla!"
The author also knows his grammar and can use a dictionary. He even knows
that "lay" is the proper past tense of the intransitive verb "to lie" -- a
knowledge I wish were shared by more posters. However, he seems not to
realize that in dialogue, only one item of punctuation is needed to close a
quote: A comma alone will do, but not a comma with a period, exclamation, or
question mark. (Really a minor error, considering his obvious skill, but a
reviewer has to find _something_ to pick on.)
This is one of Ray Velez's reposted "A+ Stories," originally posted in 1995.
DejaNews shows only one other (non-sf) erotic story posted by this author,
which is a shame; New Ontario is a promising setting for more stories of this
quality.
Ratings for "Exchange Program"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Smith (appeal to reviewer): 10
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