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Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 221 - Oct 1
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Celestial Reviews 221 - October 1, 1997
Note: There has been renewed discussion on a.s.s.d. regarding why some guest
reviewers don't use their "real" names. I have great respect for ALL my
reviewers. One may occasionally go berserk and give someone all zeroes when
he deserved a 6, 4, 1; but other than that, the guest reviews have been
pretty good, and they have helped me a lot. They even enable ME to skip some
weak stories and read the good ones that these reviewers suggest.
I respect the opinions of people who want the reviewers to give their names,
but if I personally were a story writer I would NOT want to use the same name
to review and to post - OK, so I HAVE done that, but what's one exception?
It was really (and unnecessarily) hard for me to post "Virtuous Reality,"
because I felt that people would hold me to higher standards because I had
critiqued other stories. Not everyone will react that way, but lots of
people do.
The important point here is summarized by the old saying, "Don't throw out
the orgasm with the bathwater." If you skip a review by, say, Piper,
Fiddler, or Stubby (to name just a few) you may be missing a damned good
review.
Second Note: One misty Scottish morning a man was driving through the hills
to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a huge red-haired highlander steps
into the middle of the road. The man is about six foot three and built like
a walking wardrobe. He has a huge red beard and despite the wind, mist and
near-freezing temperatures, is wearing only his kilt and a tweed shirt.
At the roadside there also stands a young woman. She is absolutely beautiful
- slim, shapely, fair complexion, heart-stopping. The driver's attention is
dragged from the girl, as the highlander rips open his car door and drags him
from the seat onto the road.
"Yew!" he shouts; "I want yew to masturbate!"
"B-b-but, I ..." stammers the driver.
"Now!" thunders the man. The driver, fearing for his life, complies.
"Right, do it again!" demands the highlander; so the driver does it again.
This goes on for nearly two hours until the driver has cramps in both arms,
he has rubbed himself raw, and despite the mist and wind, has collapsed in a
sweating, gibbering heap, unable to lift himself from the ground.
"Do it again!" demands the highlander.
"I just can't any more," whimpers the man, "you'll just have to kill me!"
The highlander looks down at the pathetic heap slumped on the roadside and
says, "Aie right laddie -- NOW, could yew please be so kind as to gi'me
daughter a lift to Inverness!"
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Workout" by Wadsworth (fucking) 6, 5, 5
"My Nipples Explode With Delight" by The Bear (transgender)
10, 8, 8
"All This for Only 79 Cents?" by The Bear (chaotic blowjob)
10, 10, 10
"Look What I Did When My Boyfriend Left for the Weekend"
by The Bear (humor) 10, 8, 8
"The Reluctant Bride" by Mike Hunt (pre-nuptial agreements)
10, 10, 10
"For Fuehrer and Fatherland" by Unknown Author (cruel &
violent sex) 9, 8, 5
Guest Reviews:
"Digger" by Emerson Laken-Palmer ()
"A Footsie Game" by Unknown Author (near-public foot job)
10, 10, 10
"Delivering the Evening News" by Jim Fix (emerging adolescence)
9, 9, 8
"Way of Life" by Caesar (dominance & submission) 9.5, 8, 6
"Xena: Warrior Princess" by Steve1044 (superhero sex) 9, 7, 7
"Libido" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (stud redeems naive wife)
9.5, 9.5, 9
"Batgirl: The Untold Origin" by Unknown Author (superhero sex)
8, 8, 7
"Aunt Carol" by Christopher Allan Peters (family hedonism)
8, 6, 8
Reposted Reviews:
* "Angeles City" by Jim Fix (overseas military sex & romance)
9, 10, 10
* "Bonnie" by Friar Dave (romantic hedonism) 10, 10, 10
* "Celeste" by Dirty Dawg (romance) 10, 10, 10
"Workout " by Wadsworth (wadsworth5@aol.com). This author has posted several
other stories that are much better than this one. It purports to have been
written by a 15-year-old girl, and that part is believable. In this story
two people just fuck with bad proofreading and all in a single paragraph.
The people have no personalities; they just screw away like animals and call
it "love."
This story actually contains sexy thoughts. A useful exercise would be to
rewrite the story so that they show through. Or maybe to forget about it and
write some more good stories.
Ratings for "Workout"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"My Nipples Explode With Delight" by The Bear (thebear@io.com). The narrator
has been sucked into undergoing an experimental procedure that will change
his gender. They promised him that it was easily reversible and totally
painless. They also promised that no one outside the experimental team would
ever know and that he would receive $2000 for about a week's work. Finally,
Debra, one of the lab assistants, promised him the best blowjob of his life
as soon as the experiment was over and his "equipment" was back to normal.
Hence the insidiously clever pun in the first sentence of this review.
Things go wrong, and the poor guy has to receive his blowjob prematurely, and
his nipples do what the title says right about the time his cock does the
same. I'm not certain this is a TG story at all, since the experiment didn't
really work, and the hero got nothing but some expensive surgery to repair
his exploded nipples.
Ratings for "My Nipples Explode With Delight"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"All This for Only 79 Cents?" by The Bear (thebear@io.com). Like the
preceding story, this one is an entry in Malinov's spam title contest. The
idea seems to be to find a spam line in a.s.s. and then to write a story to
go with that title. This is the best entry I've seen so far. A married man
sneaks into a sex shoppe to buy a cheap magazine. Finding there is no such
thing, he purchases a postcard for 79 cents (including tax); but then the
only other customer in the store has a seizure or something. While the rescue
workers are coming for that poor wretch, the woman from upstairs comes down
to give that man the blowjob for which he has paid. Since nobody knows any
better, Our Hero accepts the blowjob and goes home. Hence the title. This
is a very creative little story.
Ratings for "All This for Only 79 Cents?"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Look What I Did When My Boyfriend Left for the Weekend" by The Bear
(thebear@io.com). This is another entry in Malinov's spam title contest.
The boyfriend drives away for the weekend, and the babe with the 38DD's and
the sexy lingerie is on her own. What will she do? Will she fuck herself
senseless with blackmaled nympho queens? Will she douse the raging fire
within her bicurious cunt with buckets of cum? Well, no; but what she does
is interesting in its own way.
Ratings for "Look What I Did
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The Reluctant Bride" by Mike Hunt (MrM1ke@aol.com). As I read this story, I
suspected a forgery. The bride's dress was stylish: "The bodice was quite
low cut, but a wide needlepoint bobbinet covered the swell of her breasts
which would have been otherwise on display." Sylish bodice... needlepoint
bobbinet... Mike Hunt my ass!
But while demonstrating that the dress is convertible, the bride to be of
Mike's friend Brian sheds her inhibitions and her clothing - and at this
point I agreed that this was indeed the Real McCoy.
This story is not all that hard to summarize. Remember how on those old
"Dragnet" shows Sergeant Friday and his partner would engage in a dialogue
that was essentially a verbatim chapter from an anti-crime textbook? Well,
this is Mike's chapter on "The Sanctity of Marriage: Or What Goes Around Cums
Around." Actually, that would have been a much better title: "The Reluctant
Bride" sucks - literally.
Anyway, Mike is a member of the wedding party; and as the hour of the wedding
approaches, he humps the bride. Repeatedly. And all in the name of the
sanctity of marriage.
Ratings for "The Reluctant Bride"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"For Fuehrer and Fatherland" by Unknown Author (Reposted by who@why.not). I
initially looked at this story because it sounded like it might be part of
Uther Pendragon's Brennan family series. Yeah, right! The story focuses on
the life and hard times of a simple French girl who is captured by the Nazis
and used for their amusement during World War II. If I didn't know better, I
would suspect that this author just wanted to have an excuse to talk about
cruel and perverse sexual activities. Imagine that.
Ratings for "For Fuehrer and Fatherland"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Digger" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (Reposted by who@why.not). A teenager
vacations with his family and a friend on the shore of Lake Erie. He takes a
friend as a companion and their adventures provide the framework for the
story. Like many post-pubescent boys, the main character has a monomania:
losing his virginity. He feels this is an opportunity to accomplish his goal,
and his far more accomplished friend will help in his quest. They meet a
group of Canadian teenagers, and the story takes off from there.
The author is a good storyteller and overall I liked "Digger". I could fault
the grammar, but grammar should never get in the way when telling a story.
What did detract from the story was the writer's references to booze. Bombay
Gin drank straight from the bottle? Almost instant recovery from a drunken
stupor? Not in my experience. What the characters were doing - not the brand
of booze - was important. When the action is down to the final stages of
undressing who cares about the pedigree of the gin; it is sufficient to say,
"She took a swig from a bottle of gin." and get on with the point of the
story. The ending is worth the time spent reading this story. The few faults
are more than offset by the ending, which I found both true to life and very
entertaining.
Ratings for "Digger"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"A Footsie Game" by Unknown Author (reposted by who@why.not). {If anyone
recognizes the author of this story, I would certainly like to know who it is
- Celeste.}
Whenever I see a story reposted with no author given, I wonder immediately
how that happened. A few stories are originally posted that way, of course,
by authors who don't want even pseudonymous fame, or direct reader feedback.
But more often, I think, the author information gets lost in the long chains
of reposting that happen to all stories in our genre (and especially to the
good ones). That's better, I suppose, than someone changing the authorship
to themselves! Still, if you post someone else's story, do make sure you
leave all author and contact information on it. (This is not to imply that
who@why.not is the one who snipped the authorship in this case; I have no
doubt it happened sometime earlier on.)
Anyway! This is a fun short-short in which the narrator and his probable
future sister-in-law have a hot and nicely-described tryst under the table at
an engagement dinner, surrounded by family members who have no idea what's
going on. This is a kind of "footsie" that I had never imagined! The
footsie games that I have described, or been privileged to take part in, have
involved just feet and shins and calves, perhaps a knee or a thigh. They
are sexy because they're hidden, because all contact is sexy, and because, in
general, they suggest that more private and full-body contact is to follow
later on. They do not result directly in orgasms!
But this narrator and the lovely woman across the table from him are more
imaginative, and more flexible, than that, and this footsie game involves not
only feet and legs and thighs, but also a moist and receptive pussy, and a
hot and rigid cock. Two very convincing (if, strictly speaking, anatomically
unlikely?) orgasms ensue, and they are all the sexier because they follow a
long erotic buildup, and because the two must keep their climaxes reasonably
well concealed, to avoid inconvenient questions from their tablemates. I'd
probably give this story something like an 8 for perfectly fine writing, an
8 for plausible characters, and a 10 for appeal. But I'm an indifferent
grader!
There's something very sexy about innocent but forbidden sex, sex between
friends, sex almost in public, the footsie under the table, the quiet
hand-job in the airline seat, the kiss of lips against labia under the
conference table, in the darkness of her neat wool business skirt, her thighs
squeezing your cheeks as she tries not to gasp, the taste of clandestine
juices...
Excuse me, I have to go now!
Ratings for A Footsie Game" {Added by Celeste}
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Delivering the Evening News" by Jim Fix (jimfix@home.net). Guest review by
DG.
This is a very nice, very sweet story about a relationship between a thirteen
year old boy and a woman in her twenties. The narrator meets the woman while
doing his paper route, and finds out she is lonely widow. They start talking
regularly as he drops off the paper every afternoon, and things progress from
there. In my last guest review I complained that the description of how a
situation progressed from a conversation between total strangers to wild sex
was very unrealistic and unbelievable. In this story, the opposite is true:
the writer takes his time and really makes us believe in what is happening
as the woman seduces the boy and introduces him to the pleasures of sex. I
think it would have been even more believable if the boy had been a little
older, say sixteen, but that doesn't really distract from the story.
This story also deals very realistically and candidly with the problems a
couple like this would face, such as keeping the boy's parents from being
suspicious. The narrator and his older girlfriend find a creative way to
spend large amounts of time together, and their relationship continues to
grow. Eventually I found that I wasn't willing to suspend my belief any
longer. I don't think a relationship like this would ever last - there is
too much growing up and maturing that has to happen on the part of the
younger person. At some point there has to be a parting of the ways. So the
ending of this story, although touching and romantic, doesn't ring true to
me.
A completely separate issue deals with the morality of an
older woman sleeping with a thirteen year old boy. This has been dealt with
extensively by Celeste and other reviewers, and my two cents worth is that in
real life it is an extremely bad idea. That doesn't mean that I don't want
to read stories about it, however, because for me a story is just a story and
anything goes. For some people that isn't true, and I could very well see a
story like this bothering someone deeply, because the situation is described
very realistically and yet nothing negative happens.
The writing in this story is workmanlike, and the sex is realistic but not
particularly hot. The real strength of this story is the very realistic
description of the beginning of the affair between the young narrator and the
older woman.
Ratings for "Delivering the Evening News"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
DG (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Way of Life" by Caesar (reposted by who@why.not). Guest review by Anne747.
Okay. We all have our opinion on the reposting issue. This story is has
been posted by someone other than the author. There is a copyright notice,
no mention of whether the author objects to reposting or not. If putting a
copyright notice on a piece you really should make it clear what usage you
allow. Especially in this case, where the person posting has not removed it
(pat on the back to them). I'm guessing that they wouldn't have posted it if
it said - no posting without permission.
Anyway, on to the review. The story kind of reminds me of a fairy tale.
Masterful Dom moves into the neighborhood and convinces the local ladies
that they really are all submissive. The lesson or moral of the story seems
to be that women cannot be truly happy unless they are submissive. Utter
crap! Now, the other problem I have is a line used very early on in the
story - "You will do as Dirk says or I will hurt you or your family."
Let's forget the force issue for a moment. I really think this line is
laziness on the part of the author. Just think how much more difficult it
would be to write a story where the Dom seduces the woman into submission.
Showing her what he thinks she is missing. Threats get rid of the need to
develop the plot more.
It's not a particularly violent story, but I think it could have been better
slowly drawing the first woman in, not just using the threat of violence to
convince her. Of course, all three women just love being submissive sex
slaves/sluts, didn't you just see that coming? It's really too bad, since
the writing is fairly good, and most of the sex scenes fairly hot. A couple
of times I lost track of who was who, but I find that common is stories with
more than a few characters. I'm not sure that 20,000 words is long enough to
do a story with 8 people justice.
I think actually, with a little slower build-up, a little more believability
this could be a rather decent D/s novel. Hey, if you're into the genre, you
will probably enjoy it <grin>
Ratings for "Way of Life"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5 (minor problems, but found
with my spellcheck)
Venus (plot & character): 8 (characters submit too quickly)
Anne747 (appeal to reviewer): 6 (not my cup of tea)
"Xena: Warrior Princess" by Steve1044 (steve1044@aol.com). Guest review by
Piper.
This story caught my eye as I was scanning through the spammage. "Oh," I
though to myself. "A nice little Xena/Gabrielle/whomever bit". Since I've
seen the show several times, I know what the characters are like, and what
they look like. A good thing, too, since this story is a little short on
descriptives. In fact, aside from the first few paragraphs, there isn't much
description of the scenery, the heroes, or much else other than what the
people do to themselves and each other.
Damn! Here I was, expecting a nice, Xena/Gabrielle story. What do I get?
Four cardboard cutouts superficially acting like the characters on the
screen might, if they were cast in a b-rated sex romp. First, Hercules gets
in on the act (he finds the two women, in the middle of nowhere, off in a
hidden spot, just after dawn). Then, when the three of them arrive at Xena's
sister's house (where Xena and Gabby were going), they all almost immediately
head off to bed.
Needless to say, any early character development fell flat. So did my
expectations that the protagonists would act in ways that their screen
counterparts would not find too unusual. Ah, well, at least the sex is
well-written. As a mindless wanna-fuck, it's not too bad. But, if you're
looking for your favorite femme fatales in a story that even faintly
resembles something you might see on T.V., you'll be disappointed.
Ratings for "Xena"
Technical merit 9
Plot & character 7
Appeal to reviewer 7
"Libido" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (reposted by who@why.not). Guest review by
Piper.
When I first started reading this story, I was duly uninspired. In sex
stories, I've learned to shudder any time one starts out with a line stating
"..this is a true confession..". Mental alarms went off. Almost immediately
- in the second paragraph, in fact - some bad English reinforced my
preconceived notion that any "true" story is almost guaranteed to "suck the
big one" (in the bad sense, not the a.s.s. sense).
Well, imagine my surprise, when a quarter of the way through the story I
found myself enjoying it. After that rocky start, Emerson cleaned up his act
and came through with something truly enjoyable. So, I quit looking for the
flaws and started reading for the fun of it. Isn't that what these stories
are for, after all?
The narrator, Les, is married to Lisa, and has a brother named Larry. Lisa
was completely lacking in any knowledge about sex when she and Les got
married (she was a complete virgin), and didn't even find out what an orgasm
was until after they had been married for a year. (Do women like this really
still exist in this day and age? Even ten years ago? They do? Wow!)
Anyway, after years of wedded bliss, and a declining sex life, Les is
starting to get a little desperate. After all, a once-a-week servicing of
his dead-fish wife wasn't anything to brag about (or think fondly of,
either). He comes up with a plan - dinner, dancing, and then a trip to
Libido's.
Libido's is a sex bar. People (mostly men) go there to pay vast sums of
money for watered-down drinks, to ogle the waitresses wearing their frilly
bikinis, and to stare at the live sex show the bar puts on every night. Lisa
has heard of this place, and says no, no way, not ever, never, nope, not a
hope in hell, not even with wild horses. "Sigh", thinks Les.
Well, Larry, (remember him?) gets told all about Les and Lisa's situation
over a few drinks in a bar. Les is in a mood, and his brother's bragging
about his own recent conquests haven't helped him in the least. You see,
when the gods of fertility doled out their genetic inheritances, Les got the
inner goodies (steadfastness, gentleness, caring, feelings, etc.), while
Larry got the outer goodies (tall, muscular, coordinated, looks-to-die-for, a
big cock, etc.). Larry knows women, and has known many women (in every sense
of the word). He knows exactly what Lisa needs.
I guess it's inevitable. Whenever there's a repressed housewife, there's a
big stud able to, in one night, turn her fading libido into a beacon of
horniness. Emerson came up with a good story while still following through
to the inevitable conclusion. After all, we know what's going to happen.
It's just a question of how, where, when, and what happens afterwards.
Emerson does a good job of covering all the bases, and of giving us some hot
sex to go along with it.
All in all, I'd say this is one of the better stories of its type.
Ratings for "Libido"
Technical merit 9.5
Plot & character 9.5
Appeal to reviewer 9
"Batgirl: The Untold Origin" by Unknown Author (reposted by who@why.not).
Guest review by Tooshoes.
The well-known story of Batgirl's origin is as follows: Barbara Gordon was
the daughter of a police commissioner. She both followed in her father's
footsteps and rebelled against his authority when she chose to fight crime as
the vigilante Batgirl.
The Untold Origin revises her motives. In this story, a teenaged Barbara is
kidnapped by the evil Mind Bender. He rapes and sexually tortures her until
her will is broken. Then Batman rescues Barbara while her sexual excitement
is at a peak and inadvertently the Dark Knight causes Barbara to experience
her very first orgasm. This moment has a powerful, lasting psychological
effect on the innocent girl. She can't get Batman out of her mind. She cries
out his name whenever she orgasms. She pierces her genitals with his symbol.
Ultimately she will become Batgirl, hoping to attract Batman's attention.
I had a very mixed reaction to this story.
I did not like the descriptions of sexual torture, or that Barbara was just
barely a teenager at the time. It was too graphic and aimed for cheap
thrills; yet some discussion of the topic was essential to show the
development of Batgirl's fetish.
I could not accept the idea that rape and torture could lead to the sexual
curiosity and fun that Batgirl eventually enjoys in the story; but otherwise,
she is an interesting and believable character.
I was glad to see Batgirl have some wholly pleasant, consensual sex before
the story was over.
Technically, it was well executed, with just a few minor errors, a good
amount of literary flair, and a fairly logical plot.
"Aunt Carol" by Christopher Allan Peters. Guest review by BillyG.
The first thing you have to know about "Aunt Carol" is that it's a long
story. A very long story. Depending on how you measure story length, know
that it's 345K bytes, almost 62,000 words or 6500 lines long.
Now there's nothing inherently wrong with a long story, but it does require
certain organizational skills. It's easy to get lost once you leave the
story and then return, for while there are apparent breaks in the story,
they're not identified by chapter name or even chapter number. Clearly, such
a ponderous tale needs the organizational help of named chapters, both in
helping to return to the story as well as keeping track of the players.
I don't know about the reading styles of others, but I like a story that has
a beginning, a middle and an ending, usually filled out with sufficient
eroticism that it constitutes one good bite, comfortably consumed in an
evening, perhaps before eyeing my significant other's charms. "Aunt Carol"
has a beginning and an end, but separated by such distance that'd it'd be
easy to forget. Too, there are more players than an NBA game and while there
are a couple of "stars," the lesser characters tend to get lost and worse, to
confuse the story.
To enjoy the wide diversity of kink in this story, one has to possess a
hypertrophied sense of credulity; it requires that you embrace the unlikely
not a few times, but almost constantly. Smut stories often have an element
of magical thinking; frequently we must stretch our belief just a bit to
accept an unlikely character or plot line. "Aunt Carol" requires that we
accept the statistical unlikelyhood of every character having a similar
sexual appetite and moral standard. The more I'm asked to believe the
unbelievable, the more it pulls me away from the potential erotic impact of
the plot line. To that extent, it loses power as an arousing story.
For all its length, the story's simple. Imagine a family, no two families,
that have strong and secret roots in the porn industry, one with a son and
the other with a daughter who, as you might expect, are in love with each
other as well as in lust. The boy, Chris, is spending some time with Aunt
Carol, his mom's younger sister and the most attractive character in the
story. She seduces him, of course, and in a moderately erotic fashion. His
uncle, a bit player, is in on the game just to keep things tidy and above
board. Aunt Carol arranges to have Chris's girl friend, Alicia, spend some
time with them. As it turns out, this improbable visit is made possible by a
connection that just happens to exist between Aunt Carol and Alicia's mom
from the old days.
>From this point on, the plot line becomes more convoluted and increasingly
unlikely, at least in the limited experience of this reviewer. Through a
long sojourn in the porn industry, Chris is slowly led back to the womb as it
were. Guess who's been in the background all the while, silently engineering
much of the adventures? Yep. Good old mom!
This story has some juicy moments of voyeurism and exhibitionism. Were there
no one else in the story, I'd get the hots for Aunt Carol. She's
delightfully sexy and outrageous and a hedonist of the first order. I soon
began to resent the parade of other players. Too much distraction.
There's a broad selection of kink in this story. It ranges from incest,
younger-older, girl-girl, a touch of water sports, and sextoys to multiple
participants in the porn film industry.
If it weren't so long, it might be a fun, light read. The entire middle and
end of the story as well as two-thirds of the players could easily be
extirpated and it would leave the early chapters as a stronger erotic story.
But I may be missing the intent all together. Perhaps "Aunt Carol" is the
entire plot of a year-long soap on a soon-to-be-introduced smut channel.
Ratings for "Aunt Carol"
Technical merit 8
Plot & character 6
Appeal to reviewer 8* (based on the first part of the story only)
* "Angeles City" by Jim Fix (jimfix@earthlink.net). Do soldiers on leave
really play games like this? Three men sit at a table and drink their beers.
The first to smile has to pay the bill. That seems easy enough, but there is
one catch: there will be three girls under the table giving them a blow job
while they drink their beer, and if no one smiles the first to get his rocks
off will have to foot the bill.
This story contains numerous clever military references and anecdotes based
on GI tales of the type that begin with "This ain't no shit. . . . " At
first it seemed that this was going to be a simple tale of military
debauchery, but then it turned solidly romantic. This was a very good story.
Ratings for "Angeles City"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Bonnie" by Friar Dave (Friar_Dave@mhbbs.com). Bonnie is being reposted
part-by-part. Here's a repost of my review.
Dan has company for the weekend: his older but not-too-close cousin Mark,
Mark's sexy sister-in-law Kate, their three nubile and buxom teenage
daughters, and Kate's younger sister, the eponymous Bonnie.
Well, on Day One of the visit, Mark reveals to Dan that Kate is insatiable,
and he says that he'd like Dan to help out a bit in the bedroom. Dan, of
course, declines. Then Dan tells Kate that the 15-year-old daughter has been
making a play for him, and she promises to handle the situation. Meanwhile,
11-year-old Penny keeps asking innocent but precocious questions. All this
before our eponymous heroine has even arrived on the scene! The action heats
up after Bonnie's arrival. As the narrator says, "Broing!"
{I'm working on a Word for the Day program. As you may have guessed, the
Word for Today is "Legs." Spread the word!}
One could regard this story as a treatise on ways to deflate an aroused cock
- some using cold water and some using more interesting methods. One could
also regard this story as an example of semi-responsible hedonism. I wonder
if anyone has ever used that term before.
I like Friar Dave. I really do. But as I started reading this story, I
couldn't help saying to myself, "Aha! I've got him. This story is too
disjointed to earn straight 10's." But alas! He managed to pull it off.
That's the breaks, I guess. This is a really sexy story.
Ratings for "Bonnie"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Celeste" by Dirty Dawg (reposted by Bookman Archives). From its title I
assumed this would be a story about a naked naughty nympho teenage
cheerleader having midair sex with her skydiving coach before landing in a
cucumber patch and doing the wild thing with the horny St. Bernard dog that
was accompanying the two nuns who were fucking the brains out of the altar
boys behind the barn. I was wrong. This story is one of the best treatments
of human emotions that I have read in a long time. I literally both laughed
out loud and wept while I read this story. Then I just felt like cuddling up
with my husband, who was watching Rambo or some godawful thing on TV. At
first I was upset that this story was titled "Celeste," but now I feel
honored.
Ratings for "Celeste"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
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