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Subject: {ASS} Celestial Reviews 220 - Sept 27
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Celestial Reviews 220 - September 27, 1997
Note: Occasionally good writers stop writing stories for this newsgroup. If
you rarely or never respond to authors, then THIS IS YOUR FAULT!
What in the world do you think keeps an author going? You can call it ego or
whatever you want to call it. I call it the Blow Job Principle. Simply
stated, if a person expects to get a second blow job, the recipient should
make the giver glad to have performed the first. Applied to these stories,
if you like a story, take the trouble to say so.
Some writers on this newsgroup are incoherent and don't intend to improve.
If they give up and go away, that's fine with me. But there are good
writers who have already abandoned this newsgroup and others who will do so,
because there's nothing in it for them.
I'm not suggesting that you kiss up to the authors. But if you enjoy a story
that you obtained for free, why not take two minutes to give the author some
feedback? I don't think most authors want idle flattery; but they write
stories with the hope that they are getting a reaction - for example, they
may want to make people happy. They'll never know they have succeeded unless
somebody tells them so.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Pushing the Envelope" by Jordan Shelbourne (sexual
nostalgia) 10, 10, 10
"The Anniversary" by Shirley C (romantic interlude)
8, 8, 10
"Harry and His Cousins" by Kozak (incest) 5, 2, 1
"Spam Cops" by Cathy Payne (revenge on spammers) 9, 5, 5
"In Walked Perfection" by Brother Cadfael (brief encounter)
10, 7, 8
"The Wedding Gift" by Wollstonecraft (deflowering the virgin)
9, 10, 10
"My Own Private Idaho" by Wadsworth (threesome) 10, 8, 8
"Free Sex" by Kim (telephone sex) 10, 8, 9
Guest Reviews:
"Coal Town Cousin" by Jim Fix (emerging adolescence) 9.5. 9, 5
"Ellen" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (emerging sexuality)
9.5, 10, 10
"Sarah: My Best Friend's Girl" by The Bear (infidelity)
9, 9, 8
"Girl-Next-Door #1: The Rooster" by Morgan Preece
(manipulation) 10, 10, 8
"Late Night Rendezvous" by Billy C (surprise sex) 8, 8, 8
"Falling Leaves" by Unknown Author (cross-age lovemaking)
10, 10, 10
Reposted Reviews:
* "My Juno" by Morgan Preece (flirtation) 9, 10, 10
* "The Ferris Wheel" by K. Reber (amusement park sex) 9, 9, 9
* "Family Ties" by Uncle Mike (sitcom parody)
10, 9, 8
* "Katie & Lyn series" by Gina Marie (hot teen ff romance)
10, 10, 10
* "Fleeing Gods" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (sex with a god)
10, 10, 10
* "Return to Fantasy Island" by Daniel Nikolic (sitcom bdsm)
10, 8, 8
* "The Ballad of Wrangler Jane" by Ann Douglas (Celebrity
sex in the American west) 9, 9, 9
* "Flying High" by Tiffany (mile-high ff sex) 10, 10, 10
* "Foreign Affair" by Ann Douglas (corporate lesbian
sex) 10, 10, 10
* "French Tickler" by Mark (sex on a bus) 10, 10, 10
* "Father Dowling: I Am Heartily Sorry" by Uncle Mike
(sitcom parody) 10, 10, 10
"Pushing the Envelope" by Jordan Shelbourne (Reposted by who@why.not). The
businessman's client has had too much to drink at a strip club, and so the
businessman drives him home, but only under condition that they not disclose
to his wife where they have been. The client's wife turns out to be a former
bedmate of the businessman - back from the wild, hippie days of their young
adulthood. The businessman has a rule (seriously) against humping the wives
of clients, but this setting is pretty tempting. Read it to find out what
happens.
Ratings for "Pushing the Envelope"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Anniversary" by Shirley C (Reposted by Mr E <makw15@dial.pipex.com>).
To celebrate their anniversary, these lovers focus on food. First they
engage in heavy petting under the table while they eat at a nice restaurant,
and then they blend whipped cream and cherries into their bedroom activities.
This is a very short but very hot story.
Ratings for "The Anniversary"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Harry and His Cousins" by Kozak (trjackson@earthlink.net). I'll let this
story speak for itself: "This Friday culminated the week Harry, a 17 year-old
living with his mother and sister, lost his virginity with his 11 year-old
sister. Not only that, but they were caught by their mother and he had sex
with her too. Now they were planning to seduce two of their cousins.
Jessica, nine years-old and Justin, 10 years-old."
Harry also has a thick 6.9 inch, which apparently also contains his brain.
I've never heard of a precisely-measured 6.9 inch cock before, and I'm not
sure the author has either. The best thing that can be said about this story
is that a large number of the words are spelled correctly, especially in the
first two paragraphs. If you find yourself actually becoming sexually
aroused by this story, I suggest that you consult a therapist. Perhaps your
institution's social worker can help you find one.
Ratings for "Harry and His Cousins"
Athena (technical quality): 5
Venus (plot & character): 2
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 1
"Spam Cops" by Cathy Payne (cpayne@sympatico.ca). Is there any form of life
lower than a spammer? Yes, suggests the author - a spammer who posts
pedophile pictures. In this story the Spam Cops deal with a pair of these
pitiful miscreants by giving them some of their own medicine and then turning
them over to the IRS.
The main virtue of the story is that it picks on people we all love to hate.
Other than that, the plot's not all that exciting. But the author's heart
is certainly in the right place!
Ratings for "Spam Cops"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"In Walked Perfection" by Brother Cadfael (Brother_Cadfael@earthcorp.com).
One woman is seated at a table in a coffeehouse, when another walks in. The
first is so stunned by the beauty of the newcomer that she is unable to
speak. Then the beautiful woman gets up and leaves. In other words, not
much happens, but the author says it very nicely.
Ratings for "Spam Cops"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The Wedding Gift" by Wollstonecraft (Reposted by who@why.not). Tony is the
holder - er, owner - of a behemoth cock. He's also into eugenics. That is,
it is sort of a hobby of his to impregnate all the girls in the neighborhood
with their first baby.
The first time Gina meets this behemoth cock, she is in the front seat of his
Tony's, with another girl between her and the Stud. The other girl starts
giving Tony a hand and mouth job, but he drops her off at her house before
the task is finished. So Gina helps out with the finishing touches, so to
speak.
But now, many years later, Gina is marrying someone else for whom she has
saved her virginity (since hand jobs started by someone else hardly count).
In fact, this is a guy who is also a virgin and who has been saving himself
for his wife and who proposed to her with a diamond ring after he saving up
enough money to start a family. I mean, this wedding is going to take place
in a church and everything. But the gang from the old neighborhood show up
and seduce Gina into an orgy and gangbang her.
If you grant the author's basic premises (that the friends are really doing
Gina a favor and don't deserve to be arrested and that fertility can be
predicted and controlled really precisely) this is an extremely sexy story.
On the other hand, it's worth noting that the author plays fast and loose
with his assumptions and with biological facts about how pregnancy actually
occurs. For example, if fertility could really be predicted this closely,
traditional Catholic women would have a lot better luck with the rhythm
method of "birth control." In addition, I know from personal experience that
a virgin couple really CAN have a great time learning about sex together -
sans benefit of prenuptial gangbang.
Nevertheless, this is a really sexy story.
Ratings for "Wedding Gift"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Up on the Roof" by Wadsworth (Wadsworth5@aol.com). Most Amish people who
follow this newsgroup - as well as ordinary folks in places like Sulfur
Springs, Minot, Grand Forks, and Bowling Green - probably don't know what the
big fuss is about sex on rooftops. For most of these people, a roof is a
cover to a house; in fact, most of them live in houses with roofs that slant
so sharply that having sex there would be highly impractical - though
theoretically possible.
No, the rooftops in this sub-genre of sex stories are places in large cities
- structures that people like Clint Eastwood and Eddie Murphy leap across as
they chase homicidal maniacs in big cities. In short, sex on the rooftop is
often the big city equivalent of a roll in the hay or rolling her over in the
clover and doing it again. I have reviewed two other stories with similar
titles, and I am reposting those reviews. Perhaps the authors will repost
those stories.
In the present story the woman and her lover are out on the rooftop with the
lights of the city below them. In the past she has taken the initiative.
Tonight she is thrilled by the fact that HE is making the moves on her.
This is a brief but excellent story describing the passion of two lovers who
have the world at their feet. I get the impression that this is this
author's first story, and I hope to see more from him.
Ratings for "Up on the Roof"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"My Own Private Idaho" by Wadsworth (wadsworth5@aol.com). I'm probably
missing something really obvious here - specifically, why this story has this
title. I just don't get it; so if someone can tell me without making me feel
really ignorant, I would appreciate it.
The narrator has longed for a threesome with her boyfriend, whom she loves
deeply. For her 25th birthday, he blindfolds her and takes her for a
surprise to the quarters of a stud named Alex. {This sort of thing explains
why you sometimes see blindfolded passangers in ordinary sedans, especially
in suburbs of big cities on weekends.} The two guys go at each other first
and then she reaps the benefits herself. I have always thought of threesomes
as one cock in the mouth or ass and the other in the pussy. In this case,
the boyfriend does the woman in the cunt while Alex does the boyfriend in the
ass. I had never thought of that, but it sounds interesting. This is one of
those things that I personally think is better left to the imagination - but
it's an interesting fantasy.
Ratings for "My Own Private Idaho"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Free Sex" by Kim (kim@nym.alias.net). Kim is a journalist who wants to
write an article on telephone sex. She calls one of the numbers and arranges
to interview the woman who answers. Right after the interview, the woman
starts taking calls and Kim helps out. The title is a slight mismatch, since
the callers actually do pay for sex - but, hey, this story was submitted to
Malinov's "spam" competition. I'll try to review some more of them.
The "imperfect" ratings don't mean there's anything "wrong" with this story.
It just wasn't a completely developed plot.
Ratings for "Free Sex
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Coal Town Cousin" by Jim Fix (jimfix@home.net). Guest review by Anne747.
I guess I'm one of the few people who doesn't find 12-year-olds sexy. The
author labels the story with (m/f con rom). He really needs to add "teen" to
that list, although... hmmm... 12 technically isn't teen, is it? I'm sorry,
but even my sexual experiences in my late teens consisted of guys who, let's
face it, just didn't know what they were doing, and had no... um... control.
I couldn't help it; I laughed when a reference was made to a "young boy's
stamina". I can't suspend my disbelief - a twelve-year-old having his first
sexual intercourse, and he doesn't ejaculate almost immediately?
This is an probably a good attempt at a coming-of-age piece. It's fairly
well written, just not to my tastes. For my own tastes, it's way too long.
My word processor puts it at over 20,000 words. The tone of the story is
sweet, I suppose, and romantic. Of course, I'm not into romances either; so
this story probably didn't have a chance with me. I tried to read it with a
dispassionate eye... but I just couldn't get into it. The plot is fairly
well developed, but I have a problem with the actions of the characters. The
leader in the action is a distant cousin who is a fair bit older. The boy in
the piece eventually forms a relationship with her younger sister, who
doesn't seem to find it all that strange that her sister has been fucking him
for many years.
I'm trying to end on a positive note, since obviously a lot of effort went
into this story, and it shows from the writing. Personally, I just couldn't
get into it. If you like the idea of a well- written, coming of age story,
you probably will enjoy it.
Ratings for "Coal Town Cousin"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9
Anne747 (appeal to reviewer): 5 (12 year olds to me are little
brats, not erotic)
"Ellen" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (Reposted by who@why.not). Guest review by
BillyG.
I had a brief love affair once. The operative word is brief. We were both
too strong willed and selfish to last, at least with each other. Her desires
were bistable; she either wanted to get laid or she didn't. There was no
middle ground. I'd get amorous and make a move. She'd most likely rebuff me
with a comment such as, "You men are all alike. Is that all you think
about?"
And the answer was yes. That's all I thought about, besides how I might
strangle her and then drop her into the bottomless swamp. Then something
would throw the horny switch and she'd make a move on me. I NEVER resisted.
Not once did I have a headache. I resented the fact that she could and
often did say, "Nothin' doin' dude," while my response was always some
variation of, "Sure, sure, you bet."
The story "Ellen" by Emerson Laken-Palmer depicts a similar nineteen-year-old
boy, Danny who experiences a sexual awakening with his kid sister,
eighteen-year-old Ellen. When Danny wants it, the chances are good that
Ellen will freeze him out. But when she wants it, Danny doesn't have a
chance. I know what that's like; I've been there.
"Ellen" is a good story. The characters are human and more, they're real.
They're both buffeted about by their desires and later, by their guilt.
Danny's first person account tells of his intermittent resolve to NOT be
sexual with his kid sister. She's sweet and innocent (he would rather
believe) and he thinks of himself as single-minded ogre.
There are a couple of very sexy scenes and a couple of pregnancy scares, all
of which lend a heightened reality to this story. It's told as a short
chapter in their lives, soon over and never to be repeated.
The writer's name, Emerson Laken-Palmer sounds like a musical trio. It
reminds me of mishearing the name of a popular duo some years ago. For a
long time I thought the group was called "Haulin' Oats."
Grades: 9.5, 10, 10 A half point off for a few spelling errors and a couple
of minor grammatical goofs.
"Sarah: My Best Friend's Girl" by The Bear (thebear@io.com). Guest review by
Kim.
I know it's not my place to comment, but this is the fourteenth guest review
I've done for Celeste, and in all that time I've not had one single comment,
good or bad, from anyone. Does this mean nobody reads them, everybody agrees
with them, or nobody gives a rat's ass? Such indifference makes me wonder why
the other reviewers use pen names. Ah well, onward.
This is a slow-paced, simple story of disloyalty and unfaithfulness. It's
refreshingly uncomplicated. It follows the three-way relationship of Tom, his
girlfriend Sarah, and Brian, who narrates the story.
The story begins as Tom and Sarah make love in the bunk below Brian's. He
pretends to sleep whilst wishing it was he, and not Tom, sharing Sarah's
charms. Tom and Brian are roommates and fraternity brothers, and so sworn not
to mess with each other's girlfriends. Trouble is, Brian isn't getting his
share, and what's more lusts after Sarah big time.
Just to make sure we are rooting for Brian, Tom is shown to be a clod who
treats Sarah badly and just sees her as a sex-object, even describing her as
a "dumb skid" to Brian moments before making love to her. Incidentally, this
Sarah is one hot lady; she never seems to need any foreplay to get her ready
for fornication. What a gal.
Circumstances contrive to leave Sarah and Brian alone together when Tom goes
out of town one weekend. Sarah tells Brian she won't leave Tom for him,
bursts into tears and promptly jumps all over Brian, as they pull each
other's clothes off and get down and dirty. Repeatedly.
When it's all over they swear to continue their illicit affair behind Tom's
back.
Well, if you can get past the wholly amoral stance of all the characters,
then this is an A1 story. It's simply told and well delivered: you can't
really ask for much more from an erotic story. If I have any complaint, it's
that there is possibly too much aimless background story telling. Now, I know
I've said in the past I like a good story, as well as good descriptive sex,
but parts of this story meander a bit too far into uninteresting irrelevance.
Mostly I liked it a lot, but the characters were all so unpleasant, it was
hard to get too much empathy with any of what was going on. Probably a female
thing - I dunno! Still, a writer to add to the list of ones to watch out for
in the future.
The author uses "Come" to describe both the orgasm and the ejaculate. I know
there's no firm rules, least I don't think there are, but I prefer "come" for
orgasm and "cum" for semen. Also, dare I mention that Sarah seems blessed
with halos on the end of her breasts. :) {Note: Kim has listened to my
lecture on areolas. - Celeste}
Ratings for "Sarah: My Best Friend's Girl"
Athena (technical quality): 9 (Some unnecessary verbiage)
Venus (plot & character): 9 (wandered off course a few times)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 8 (such calculation doesn't light my fire)
"Girl-Next-Door #1: The Rooster" by Morgan Preece (zanna@whoever.com). Guest
review by Dart.
This is an intriguing story about people manipulating situations and other
people to further their own greed and lust for power. The sexual situations
and discussions in the story serve to illustrate that theme, and, perhaps, to
titillate. The characters in the story are nicely drawn, and the dialogue is
natural enough that it enhances the development of the three main players:
Richie Gallo, an Italian thug; Richie's unnamed and personal, for the moment,
whore; and August Maxim, a black lawyer that offers Gallo a deal too sweet to
refuse - or is it? I mention Gallo's nationality and Maxim's race because
they play a role in the power game between the two.
Given the characters, the story opens with an appropriate sexual encounter
between Gallo and his woman. He then leaves her in the hotel room, taking her
clothes with him - well, can you think of another reason she might wait for
his return? - and goes to meet with Maxim to negotiate the deal of his life.
The deal is that a big crime boss needs a fall guy. A few years in prison,
maybe, Maxim informs Gallo, and for this, Gallo will receive wealth and
power. But that's not quite enough; Gallo is a lusty fellow and will need his
appetites satisfied while in prison. And he's no fairy! Do Maxim and Gallo
solve this problem and negotiate a deal? You'll have to read the story to
find out what the deal is, and especially what it involves sexually. But when
my friend Darta read the story, she said, "That's my kind of woman!"
Ratings for "The Rooster"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Dart (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Late Night Rendezvous" by Billy C (billy_boy_c@hotmail.com). Guest review
by BluePencil.
For a short story, a short review:
An insomniac drowses and wakes fitfully, vainly trying to ignore the house's
strange feel. Suddenly, he awakens - his hands are being tied to the bed
post. A rape story? No, our hero's girlfriend just wanted to surprise him.
Once past the trick beginning, the surprises stop. A short, pleasant story
about a short, pleasant episode.
Ratings for "Late Night Rendezvous"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot and character): 8
BluePencil (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Falling Leaves" by Unknown Author (Reposted by who@why.not). Guest review by
Kim.
This is the story of a young man, David, getting it together with Linda, the
all-but-fifty-year-old best friend of his mother. At least I assume he's
young; it never exactly tells us his age in the story.
The tale begins as David watches Linda run into the nearby woods, apparently
upset over something, and decides to follow her. Unfortunately, he's not a
very good tracker and is soon hopelessly lost in the woods. Luckily he's
discovered by Linda, who takes him under her wing and guides him to a
tranquil spot by a small lake.
After admitting that she'd had a thing for David's Father and that he looks a
lot like him, Linda's soon demonstrating, in a very practical sense, just how
she and David's father used to behave.
Naturally this is just what David has yearned for all his adolescent life.
After some energetic coupling they lie naked together in the sunlight, on a
big rock, admiring the falling autumn leaves.
The story is charmingly told, short, sweet and to the point. The only thing
missing was an explanation as to why Linda was upset and running at the
beginning of the story. Perhaps it's only fitting that we leave Linda with
some mystery anyway. It's also very refreshing to see an older woman in the
role normally reserved for seventeen year olds.
I liked this story a lot. It's an agreeable, believable story, finished off
with a very arousing sex scene. What more could a reviewer ask for?
My only complaint is that we don't know the real author to give him or her
the credit they deserve. {If anyone recognizes this author, please notify me
- Celeste.}
Ratings for "Falling Leaves"
Athena (technical quality): 10 (Should lose 1 for misuse of
aureole/areola)
Venus (plot & character): 10 (What little was required fitted
perfectly)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 10 (You won't die of orgasms, but you
will enjoy it)
* "My Juno" by Morgan Preece (zanna@whoever.com). Our narrator is a
diminutive gent - too tall to be a circus midget but too small to make much
progress in even high school football. His Juno is a stately woman, nearly a
foot taller in heels. He seems to have a tall woman fetish. This is a very
interesting story of the little feller's pick-up lines and seduction of his
goddess, whose real name is Juliette.
Ratings for "My Juno"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "The Ferris Wheel" by K. Reber (krreber@ix.netcom.com). I'm pretty sure
that this who@why.not repost was really written by K. Reber. The two lovers
go for a ride on the Ferris wheel, and the ride gets stuck while they're at
the top. Since she's not wearing her panties anyway, they make love, right
there in the open, with the chair swinging back and forth fifty feet above
the ground. Not quite the mile-high club, but still pretty good. Is this
really safe?
Ratings "The Ferris Wheel"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Family Ties" by Uncle Mike (fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu). All the members
of the Keaton family are going on a family camping trip, except Alyse, who
has a cold and must stay home alone. Nick the Boyfriend has prepared some
spiked orange juice with which to console himself in the wilds.
Unfortunately, Nick leaves his brew at the Keaton house, and Alyse wolfs it
down in an attempt to ingest some vitamin C. Skippy comes by to visit, and
the drunken Mrs. Keaton comes on to him. He fucks her a couple of times and
leaves just as the others are returning from their miserable trip.
This story would have had more potential if more of the family members had
been in it. Having Skippy fuck Alyse is probably not the most creative way
to parody this series.
Ratings for "Family Ties"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* "Katie & Lyn series" by Gina Marie (an242967@anon.penet.fi). In response
to huge popular demand the author is reposting these stories about two
teenage girls (a high school freshman and a sophomore) who become
disenchanted with their boyfriends' immaturity and enchanted with one
another. This is the hottest girl/girl teen sex I can remember reading. It
is hot not because the descriptions are explicit (which is also true) but
because the author does such a good job of building anticipation. Just
knowing what's going on in Katie's mind makes the actual consummation more
interesting and enjoyable.
You don't have to be a lesbian to enjoy these stories. Too many young women
(and, I would assume, young men too) get the irrational feeling that stories
like this are dangerous because they might "become homosexuals" if they
happen to enjoy the action. Baloney. Any person with hormones who does not
have preset biases against these stories will enjoy them - just as any woman
with hormones would enjoy Lyn's hot lips caressing her pussy. The latter
mode of experimentation would certainly be ill advised for many young girls,
but I hardly think the same can be said for the former. Fantasy can be fun -
and understanding how *other* people react to sex can be informative. This
advice is probably extremely obvious to a large number of readers, but I
think it bears repeating. Neither enjoying the idea of homosexual
stimulation or engaging in and enjoying real-life homosexual activities on
specific occasions "makes" you a homosexual. Don't label yourself so easily;
life is more complicated than that. I myself have no intention of engaging
in lesbian sexual activities, because I am already devoted to a monogamous
relationship. However, I found these vivid descriptions of two people growing
in love and affection for each other to be intensely enjoyable.
Ratings for "Katie & Lyn"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Up on the Roof" by Solo Polyphony (solo.polyphony@teamhbbs.com). The man
and his wife go up to the roof of the New York building. The restaurant
located there has just closed, and so they sneak off to a secluded spot and
engage in romantic, semi-public but still private sex. Ooops! Somebody saw
them; and so they invite him to join in. The sex gets pretty hot. I enjoyed
this story.
Ratings for " Up on the Roof "
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "On the Roof" by DHouseh734 (dhouseh734@aol.com). I downloaded this story
mostly because its title was so similar to that of the previous story. I
thought it might be fun to compare them. Actually, the two have little in
common. This one's about a guy sitting on a rooftop at a Christian camp when
he is joined by a woman who seems to be one of the camp counselors. They
don't have sex, but he reminisces a lot. This would be an excellent story,
but it's largely incoherent because of faulty proofreading.
Ratings for " On the Roof "
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* "Fleeing Gods" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (moh2@midway.uchicago.edu). Whenever
who@why.not reposts a story by this author, he omits the author's name. This
is unfortunate, because this author writes excellent stories and deserves
credit.
The stories by this author are - how shall I put it? - unusually creative.
They tend to have plots that make me stop and think. Sure, they contain
sex; otherwise I wouldn't be reviewing them on alt.sex.stories - although I
did have to skip one of her stories ("Fireworks and Storms") because the only
sex in it was implied. But the actual genital contact, although explicit,
often plays a secondary role in a highly creative plot.
Here we have a woman waking up and finding that Zeus is about ready to make
love to her. It seems that Zeus and Hera have been on hiatus for a
millennium or two, and so he is not prepared for a contemporary American
woman. He's used to ancient Greek shepherd maids who were coy and tried to
run from him and even changed shapes to escape his amorous advances; this
modern bitch is eager to devour his cock and actually changes shapes to KEEP
him. It's a delightful story. I'm tempted. Someday I'm going to let my
students read one of this author's stories instead of "Daisy Miller."
Ratings for "Fleeing Gods"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Fantasy Island Revisited" (Reposted by who@why.not). The last time I
reviewed this story it was entitled "Return to Fantasy Island" by Daniel
Nikolic (gdnikoli@descartes.uwaterloo.ca).
"De plane, de plane!" shouts Tattoo, and this week's group of beautiful
social rejects deplane one at a time in anticipation of their opportunity to
fulfill their secret fantasies in the island kingdom of Mr. Roarke, whose
name sounds strangely like the sound a flatulent fat man would make when he
cuts one loose in the bath tub. As you may have suspected, Roarke has a dark
side; and the fantasies that are fulfilled in this episode are not of the
wholesome variety that we encounter in the normal weekly episode of this Love
Boat Wannabee.
Ratings for "Return to Fantasy Island"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* "The Ballad of Wrangler Jane" by Ann Douglas (annd@pop.tiac.net). This
story is a parody of the F Troop television series that appears regularly in
syndication on American cable television. There's really not a lot of sex in
the story; the first two thirds are devoted to build-up and making the
characters compatible with the original series. I have never in my life
watched an entire episode of F Troop, so I don't know how well the story
works as a parody. Assuming the author's characterizations fit, this is a
pretty good story of the female heroine making love to an Indian princess.
Ratings for "The Ballad of Wrangler Jane"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Flying High" by Tiffany (claytonj@SkyBest.Com). Maybe I should just say
this is a good story and let it go at that. This one is a bit hard to
explain. As the unofficial librarian of the Mile High Club, I collect
stories about sex on airplanes. According to my records, I have previously
reviewed nine stories that fit this description. The five best ones have
been "Adventures on Flight 109" by Ann Douglas, "La Salope" by Joe Parsons,
"American Airlines Cockpit" by Mary Anne Mohanraj, "Wonderful Journey" by Kid
Dynamite, and "Airscrew" by Pete Fox.
Lucy Stevens, a straight woman and a virgin a week or so ago, is on the way
home by plane to visit her family after her marriage. A kid ogles her, and
she flashes him. Then the woman next to her double dares Lucy to go further,
and before we know it we have a veritable coven of card-carrying lesbians
having mind blowing orgasms with Lucy and ruffling the kid's hair. The kid's
mother wakes up and gets upset, but he's probably seen worse in the Swimsuit
Issue of Sports Illustrated or on the Web. As part of the good natured fun,
the lezzies destroy all Lucy's clothes except her dress. And so when she
meets the family, she has more 'splaining to do than she had anticipated. I
told you: this is a hard one to explain.
Ratings for "Flying High"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Foreign Affair" by Ann Douglas (annd@pop.tiac.net). Regular readers of my
reviews already know this, but I'll say it again. The main strength of Ann
Douglas as a writer is that even in a very short sex story she can give
personality to her characters. Her characters have fun having sex; and they
even have a reason for doing so! In addition, she pays attention to details
that add authenticity to her stories. In the present case, she seems to give
a faithful presentation of a realistic Japanese setting.
In this story Amanda McIntyre is spending several lonely days in Japan. She
is an avowed lesbian who is treated as an outcast by the good ole boys from
her company, and she is being set up to take the blame if the business deal
falls through. She meets a very attractive and sensuous Japanese woman and
shares intimacies with her. You'll probably guess the ending while you read
the story, but I don't want to spoil it for you by telling you more now.
It's a really hot story. Kinda makes you wanta grab your harigata and go to
town.
Ratings for "Foreign Affair"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "French Tickler" by Mark (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk). When who@why.not
reposts stories by this author, he invariably omits the name of the author.
This is an extremely serious disservice. This author deserves credit, and
readers would appreciate knowing where to find stories by this excellent
author.
The narrator has been cycling in the Loire valley and decides to wander into
Pinochelle to enjoy the evening air and maybe to see what quaint, provincial
nightlife this somnolent region has to offer. Well, he over-imbibes at the
"club" and finds himself dreading the walk back to his lodgings, but then a
busload of young French women pulls to a stop next to him. Does he want a
lift? It is a long way to walk in the dark, n'est-ce pas? He accepts the ride
and finds himself packed in tightly in the back of a crowded bus between two
people to whom we shall refer euphemistically as Fille Gauche and Fille
Droite. I guess this might sound boring - a guy snuggled up between two
young French girls whom he can't even see because of the darkness, surrounded
by raucous conversation, hands and mouths reciprocally engaging in very
private but friendly activities, mind-blowing orgasms; but I certainly
enjoyed it. Those Filles really know how to throw an impromptu bacchanal
when they put their minds to it!
Ooops! The bus has stopped to let him off. Why is everyone so quiet and
looking at the back of the bus? And how long have they been watching? Oh
well, c'est la vie! The other passengers (Filles Autres) all burst into a
spontaneous and sincere round of applause, laughter, and high-fives.
Besides having a great idea, this author uses the language very, very well.
But where was the tickling?
Ratings for "French Tickler"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Father Dowling: I Am Heartily Sorry" by Uncle Mike
(fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu). I have never watched an entire episode of
"Father Dowling." I may be wrong, but I had the impression that it had
something to do with a priest and nun working together to solve crimes; but
this story has no detective work in it. Since I know so little, I won't try
to comment any further than that on how well this story works as a parody.
The story focuses on Father Prestwick, who is hearing confessions. Most of
the penitents are old ladies and children, whose "sins" are boring; but then
in comes Mrs. Klimaszewski, the woman in her early 30's who wears no bra and
whose husband is out of town and who confesses her sins of masturbating and
getting it on with the newspaper boy. Since that session has already turned
him on, Father feels predisposed to prod <g> a little when Sister Stephanie
comes in to confess her sins; and pretty soon Sister Steve has another sin -
or several sins, depending on how you count - to confess the next time she
drops by the confessional.
I honestly believe that Catholic priests have gotten a bad rap in recent
years. I think they are every bit as upright and virtuous, although
certainly not as intelligent, as English teachers; and I really don't think
they are any more likely to behave unprofessionally than other people who
work closely with people. I really doubt that the sort of thing described in
this story happens very often. But it sure makes a good story!
Ratings for "Father Dowling"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
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