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Subject: [story] Lies
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Lies By Suzie A.

The following is partially based on a true story.  Names and dates
have been altered (duh).

  How well I remember that afternoon.  It was a glorious fall day,
warm, windy and golden.  I was seventeen years old, and a senior in
high school.  I'd just learned that I had made the cheerleading squad,
and Tad, my boyfriend, had just asked me to go steady!  Life just
couldn't get any better.  I hummed a tune to myself as I ran up the
steps to my sister's apartment.  Kathy and I were very close, even
though she was three years older than me.  Our parents were strict,
and not very loving, so we'd always depended on each other.  Kathy
wasn't really mys sister - she was actually my second cousin.  He
parents had died when she was young, and Mom and Dad took custody of
her.  They'd never formally adopted her, but all the same, we
considered ourselves to be sisters.  I was always considered to be the
pretty one in the family, and Kathy was the smart one.  I had all the
boyfriends, and she got the straight A's.  I would marry well (this
was in 1974), and she would go to college on scholarship and have a
career teaching English at some university.  But even with all that,
we were still best friends.  She didn't envy me my good skin, long
blond hair and slender figure, and I didn't envy her good grades (I
struggled to stay at a B minus average).  

Our parents had little contact with Kathy, ever since she'd gotten
dropped out of school to elope at age seventeen.  Mom and Dad couldn't
stand Tim, Kathy's husband.  They thought he was a loser.  Truth be
told, he really wasn't much to look at - he was kind of short, had
long hair and a scraggly goatee, and arms permanently stained with
grease from his mechanic's job.  But Kathy, who had always been quiet
and shy, loved him to death.  He was the only boyfriend she'd ever
had, and she was thrilled when he proposed to her.   Kathy was a
little on the plain side, and she never thought anyone would ever ask
her out again.  Mom and Dad were sure he only asked because he thought
they'd let them live in the family home, and give him a job at Dad's
engineering firm.  None of which happened of course, even when Kathy
got pregnant just two months after getting married.

Kathy and Tim lived on the third floor of a rather run-down building.
They had two kids now, little Kathy and Suzie (named after me), and
Kathy was pregnant again.  They were just scraping by, living paycheck
to paycheck.  Tim's mechanic's salary was barely enough to cover the
essentials, and Kathy worked at a local daycare to help make ends
meet.  I knew she was there now with the kids (the center let the
staff bring their children two days a week).  I'd brought over some
groceries for her, and I thought I'd leave them there as a sort of
surprise.   Tim and Kathy were always running low on things like milk,
diapers, and formula, and every once in a while I'd buy her stuff out
of my allowance.  That day I'd also brought along some bubble bath for
Kathy - she never had the money to buy herself little treats like
that.

I let myself into her apartment with the key she'd given me.  To my
surprise, Tim was there, stretched out on the couch wearing nothing
but a pair of boxer shorts.  "Oh, hi Tim, " I said.  "I didn't expect
to see you here."  "Home sick", he grunted, though he didn't look sick
to me.   Staying home to drink was more like it, and the beer cans on
the floor by the sofa confirmed that.  I guess he read the expression
on my face, for he snarled, "Whassa matter ... don't believe me?"  I
ignored him.  Tim was a mean drunk.  "I'll just leave this stuff in
the kitchen, Tim,"  I said.  "Tell Kathy I came by."  With that, I
turned away from him and walked into the kitchen.   As usual, it was a
mess.  Kathy tried, but with two babies and a no-good husband she
couldn't keep up.  Garbage spilled onto the floor, crumbs littered the
counter, and the sink was piled high with dirty dishes.  "Cripes ...
what a mess!", I muttered under my breath.

Suddenly, Tim grabbed me from behind.  "Whassa matter?", he breathed
into my face.  I shrank away from his evil-smelling breath.  "Place
ain't good enough for your sister?"  "I didn't say that, Tim.  But you
could help clean up, you know.  Kathy has to do all the work around
here, and that's not fair!"  That was the wrong thing to say.  He
glared at me, then muttered, "Bitch just like your sister.  Your whole
family thinks they're better'n me.  I ain't good enough for their
little girl, no sir.  But do they help us out any?  Give us any
money?" I had had enough.  "Shut up Tim!  It's not Mom and Dad's
responsibility to take care of you and Kathy - you guys are married,
you have kids, and it's up to you to take care of them!  Now let me
go!"  He stared at me for a long moment, and just when I thought he
was going to let me go, he pulled me towards him and kissed me right
on the mouth!

I was shocked and horrified.  I began to struggle against him, trying
to push him away.  But for all that we were the same height, he was
surprisingly strong.  He held me fast, pushing me up against the
stove, pressing into me and kissing me over and over.  "Stop ...
stop!" I shouted.   "Shut up bitch!", he shouted and slapped me across
the face.  The blow stunned me, and I fell to the floor.  Instantly he
was on top of me, pulling up my skirt, pawing at my blouse.  I tried
to fight him off, but he was too quick.  I screamed, and he slapped me
again, even harder.  It knocked me out for a second or two.  The next
thing I knew, I was lying on the dirty kitchen floor, my blouse opened
to my waist, my skirt bunched around my hips, and Tim was ripping my
panties off.   He'd spread my legs open, and was keeling between them,
his boxers pulled down exposing his huge, erect penis.  That's when I
knew - I was going to be raped.   "Noooooo!!!", I moaned.  "Please ...
don't do this Tim!"  He just cackled, and fell on top of me, pinning
my arms above my head with one hand.

He began to suck on my breasts, and to my shame my nipples hardened
instantly.  I know now that this is a normal response to stimulus, but
I didn't know that then - and I was ashamed.  I could feel his
hardness against my thigh as he rubbed himself against me.  His freen
hand played with my pussy, and I shuddered with fear as he pushed a
finger up inside of me.  "Hmmm ...  virgin, ain't you?" he grunted as
he began to finger fuck me.  "What else haven't you done?", he asked
with an evil gleam in his eye.  "Nnnothing!", I stammered.  I could
see the clock on the kitchen wall.  It was quarter-till four.  Kathy
would be home around ten past four.  If only I could stall him - Kathy
would come home and save me!  I had no choice.  I had to try it.
"I'll ...  I'll suck you if you won't rape me!", I begged desperately.

That made him laugh.  He got up, still pinning me to the floor, and
sat astride my chest.  He waved his swollen member in my face.
"Sounds goo to me.  Suck it, bitch!" I closed my eyes and prayed to
God to forgive me for this.  I opened my mouth and took him inside.  I
had no idea what I was doing, I barely even knew what a blowjob was,
let alone how to give one.  Tim kept shouting out intructions.  "Damn
it ... don't suck it like it's a lollipop!  Lick it ... yeah, that's
it.   That's it .... oooh, good".  He began to thrust his cock in and
out of my mouth.  He wasn't especially big, but he thrust so hard and
deep that I began to gag.  It seemed to go on forever, me trying to
lick and suck as he demanded while he thrust himself in and out of my
mouth.  He kept shouting at me to do it good, better, harder.  I tried
to keep up but I couldn't.  He finally pulled himself out of my motuh
and growled, "Dammit, your sister gives better head than you do!".
Now that he was out of my way, I could see the clock.  Only five
minutes had passed!  I hadn't bought myself enough time!

"I'll ... I'll do it better.  Please, please don't rape me!", I
pleaded with him.  That only made him laugh again.  "Shut up, little
whore.  You had your chance!".  He struggled to unlock my legs.  I
resisted, but he smacked me on the side of my head so hard that I had
to let go.  He spread my legs and got in between them.  I felt the
head of his cock burning against me as he positioned himself.  With
one powerful thrust he tore into me, and seated himself up to the
hilt.  I shrieked with agony.  I was conpletely dry and it hurt worse
than anything I could ever have imagined.  

The pain continued as he began to push himself in and out of me, over
and over again, with quick sharp thrusts.  "Mmmm ... oh yeah, nice and
tight," he gasped, spewing his evil breath in my face.  "Ooohhh yeah
... mmmm ... that's right ... getting fucked by a real man now Suzie
... I know you're loving this," he moaned, thrusting even harder.
"Seen you looking at me ... at my crotch.  Oh yeah ... been wanting
some of what I been giving your sister, ain't you!"  "No ...  no!!!" I
cried.  Oh God, this couldn't be happening!  My own brother-in-law was
raping me!   All I could do was lie there while my body suffered his
agonizing, powerful thrusts.  My body bounced up and down, my breasts
jiggled from the force of his assault.  He kept moaning and gasping
with pleasure while he raped me, a smeary look of bliss on his face.
His body was slick with sweat, which dripped off his face onto mine.
And there was nothing I could do but lie there helplessly while he
boned me harder and harder.  Finally, his movements grew more frantic
and with a final thrust he came deep inside me, groaning with
pleasure, then collapsing on top of me, sweaty and spent.

I lay there sobbing.  I had just been raped by my own brother-in-law!
Despite my popularity, I was a virgin and had intended to stay that
way until I married.  Now I was ruined!  All I wanted to do was to get
out of there, get away from that terrible apartment with its smell of
sour milk.   Tim lay atop me for a few minutes, then finally pulled
out of me.  "Get out", he snarled.  I got up and went.  It was just
four o'clock.  I had to go before Kathy came home and saw me like
that.  I ran down the stairs, buttoning my blouse as I ran.  Luckily,
her car was nowhere in sight.  I ran all the way home, let myself in
the back door, ran up to my room, stipped my clothes off, locked
myself in my bathroom and stayed in my shower for almost an hour.  I
sat there, letting the hot water flow over me, as if that could erase
the same.  Broken images kept coming at me - how Tim had looked when
he thrust into me, the long moan he'd let out when he came ...
horrible images of the worst day of my life.

I knew I couldn't tell.  This happened twenty-three years ago, when
rape was still the victim's fault.  No one would believe me.  My
parents wouldn't - they were ultra-religious, of the old school.
There were no witnesses.  I wasn't even bruised, since Tim had mostly
slapped me on the side of the head, and there weren't any marks on my
face from where he'd slapped me first.  Tad would break up with me.
he'd been begging me to have sex with him for ages, and he would be
too ready to believe that I hadn't been raped.  And Kathy ... what
would this do to her?  She loved Tim, and as much as it hurt to think
that, I knew she'd believe him.  She'd given up everything to marry
him.  No, it was best to stay silent, to try and forget.  I'd just
avoid Tim and Kathy for a while.  Everything would get back to normal.

It wasn't to be.  I missed my period two weeks later, and I was
absolutely frantic.  I just knew that I was pregnant.   It was Tim's
baby.  I'd never had sex with anyone else.  There were no home kits in
those days, and I was too afraid to see a doctor.  I didn't know what
to do!  It would kill Kathy if she knew I was pregnant with her
husband's baby.  She was five months pregnant herself, and even though
Tim wasn't the best provider, he was all she had.  Even if I could
prove that he'd raped me and he went to jail, Kathy would be all
alone.  Mom and Dad wouldn't support her.  I knew that they wouldn't
support me either.  Abortions were available then, but I didn't know
how to get one.  I didn't have any money, and I didn't think I could
go through with it either.  There was only one thing to do.  Three
weeks after my rape, with my period still 'late', I let Tad fuck me.
It was the only thing I could think of.  I hated doing that to him,
but I was certain that I was pregnant, and I needed a cover.  Mom and
Dad would still be furious that I'd gotten pregnant out of wedlock,
but Tad came from a good family, and was already in his sophomore year
in college.  He was convinced that he was my 'first', and when I told
him a month after we began having sex that I thought I was pregnant,
he believed it was his.

My parents were angry, of course, and Tad's parents weren't thrilled
either.  But, they agreed to let us get married, and in November of
1974 we had a quick, civil ceremony.  I dropped out of high school,
and stayed with Tad's parents until January, when he and I moved into
the married housing at his college.  Kathy was thrilled for me.
Despite her brilliance, all she'd ever wanted to do was be a mother
and have her own home.  I think that was because she'd lost her own
family so young, and even though Mom and Dad raised her she never felt
like she was truly their daughter.  She called them Mom and dad and
all, but they'd never adopted her for whatever reason, and I think she
felt like an outcast.  Well, she was happy that I was married and
expecting a baby too.  She kept trying to get all of us together.  I
usually turned her invitations down, but there were times I couldn't
do that.  When I was four months pregnant, just before Kathy had her
third baby, I had to go to her shower.  Tim was there of course.  I
hadn't seen him since he'd raped me.  I saw him looking at me, and
grinning.

Four months later, he came by the apartment one day when Tad wasn't
home.  He pushed his way in, got a beer from my tiny kitchen, sat on
the couch and told me he knew full well that the baby was his.  He
grinned as he told me that he'd keep my little secret - for a price.
The price was that I 1.) name the baby after him if it was a boy,
since Kathy had given him yet another worthless girl and he wanted any
son of his to be named after him and 2.) acquiesce to future sexual
relations with him.  God, it made me sick.  But what could I do?  I
agreed, hoping he'd forget about it later.  Well, he didn't.  The next
month I gave birth to a healthy baby boy, who was two weeks 'early'.
Back in those days, sonograms weren't routine and I hadn't had one, so
no one knew that my son was actually full-term.  Tim showed up at the
hospital the next day to see 'his boy', as he put it.  The baby looked
just like him, much to my horror.  Tim noticed this too, and pointed
it out six or seven times.  Thanks God we were alone.  As he insisted,
I named him Timothy Thaddeus, which I got away with since my
grandfather had also been named Timothy.  No one else noticed any
resemblance - but people only see what they expect to see.   And
people thought Tad was Timmy's father.

Tim didn't forget the rest of his promise, either.  Much to my horror
I had to have sex with him, though it was relatively infrequent.  He
soon found other things to amuse himself with, though every few months
he would call me up and tell me to find a babysitter because he and I
were going to have some fun.  This travesty went on for years.  Tad
never suspected a thing, up until the day he died of leukemia, just
three years after we were married.   Tim, in the meantime, had
straightened up some.  When Tad died,  Tim became a 'surrogate' father
to Timmy, which somehow made my father admire him, and he finally gave
him a job.  Timmy adored his Uncle Tim, and to my distress, was more
and more like him every day.  And he didn't just resemble him
physically either, they had the same facial expressions and
personality.  No one ever guessed the real reason why Tim took an
interest in my son.

When Timmy was seven years old, my parents died in a car wreck, and
left everything to me.   That's when Tim played his trump card.  He
told me he was divorcing Kathy, and that he was going to marry me.  If
I refused, he seek custody of my son, and he'd get it too.  Well, I
couldn't refuse.  Tim divorced Kathy, and a month later he and I were
married.  He let her keep their five girls, and gave her a pittance
for child support.  She's never spoken to me since then.  I saw her
once at the grocery, and she looks awful.  It was awkward.  I was
there with my three boys - for Tim insisted that we have other
children - while pregnant with my fourth son, and she was there with
her five girls.  She just stared through me, and walked on.  Tim and I
had six more children together.  Our oldest boy is now twenty-two, and
last week Tim told him that he was his real father.  Timmy was
thrilled.  He had no memory of Tad, and had always loved his Uncle Tim
like a father anyway.  Our marriage has been a sham for years.  Tim
lives off my trust fund, and doesn't work at all.  He's having an
affair with our sons nanny, and told me last night that she was
pregnant by him.  I hope she takes him off my hands.  Now that my last
secret is out, I can leave him.

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