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Standard disclaimers:  This story is a work of fiction, no
character within is a depiction of any real person, living or
dead.  No event described within exists outside of the writer's
imagination.  It didn't happen.  But it could have.

Copyright retained by the author.  The user is free to archive
this story as long as it is not for commercial gain.  

If this piece of fiction is indeed considered illegal for you to
read or possess in your jurisdiction, please destroy it
immediately.

	

		Passages of Life

	

Chapter 1

	
	I knew I was driving to fast.  I just didn't care.  The
old Ford was never designed to slide around the back road curves
this way.  I wasn't paying attention to where I was going while
taking turns at random.  I'd been driving these roads long before
I actually put some slight stain of legality on the whole thing
by getting my license.  Growing up in the 'country' had some
positive aspects, and learning to drive at the age of twelve was
one of them.  All those years of practice had left me able to
anticipate the corners and turns without actually thinking about
them.  Most of the time, that is.  

	After nearly turning the car broadside coming around a
sharp corner, my sense of mortality reasserted itself and I
stopped my Speed Racer imitation.  A Ford XL coupe simply isn't
the Mach 5, after all.  Trying to push triple digit speed on
these roads was going to cause me to wind up as a greasy streak
on the road.  I didn't have a clue what to do about the situation
I was in, but I knew that wasn't a particularly clever solution.
Eighteen years of life had left me completely unable to handle
what was happening.  What had happened at the party, to
understate the situation, was not what I expected.  

	After four years of high school, sex was as much a
mystery as it ever was; although, in my defense, spending my
adolescent and teenaged years in a small town outside of
Pittsburgh probably had that effect on most people.  And it
wasn't actually sex per se, but everything that surrounded it.
Much to my adolescent disappointment high school never turned out
to be the sexual free for all that I had been led to believe.  I
was shocked and dismayed in high school to find out that there
was a complicated series of tribal rituals that preceded any
potential sexual encounter.  Not that I've ever found anonymous
one night stands to be an enthralling prospect.  Why sleep with
someone I wouldn't want to talk to?  OK, so I was a weird
teenager who was made weirder by parents who would answer any
serious question I asked, whether it had to do with religion,
sex, or anything in between.  They never treated me as anything
less than an intellectual equal, and never ever tried the old
ploy of "Believe this because I tell you to believe."  All in
all, it added up to a male high school student who, while
interested in sex, wasn't all that worried about it.  I knew that
it would happen when it happened, and until then, The Widow Thumb
and her four daughters were the cheapest dates in the world.  

	I knew I had to sort this out, and I couldn't do it while
I was driving.  But I didn't feel like going home quite yet.
Passing a small intersection, I slowed enough to be able to read
the signs.  To my surprise, I realized that I was only a few
miles from one of my favorite spots to sit and think.  I threw a
quick left, pulling off the road I had been driving on for the
last 20 minutes.  A few more miles brought me to an almost
invisible turn off.  It wasn't exactly a dirt road, there being a
good deal of gravel mixed in as well, but it was deeply rutted
and very rough going.  A series of 'S' curves climbed a steep
hillside, and as I crested the top, I slowed and pulled to the
side of the road.  The road looked out over a broad shallow
valley, dotted with homes and a few farms.  If it had been better
known and the road a little better maintained, it would have been
the ultimate "Parking Place" for my fellow students.  As it was,
hours would go by without a single car passing; you'd never know
you were less than 30 miles from a metropolitan center.
Pittsburgh might as well be on the other side of the moon, both
from the surroundings and from the attitudes of most of the
residents.  I turned off the engine, sat back in the corner of
the bench seat and driver's side door and tried to think my way
through everything I knew about sex, love and all that came
between.


Chapter 2

	I learned about sex the way I did almost everything,
unconventionally although at first glance it sounded so
stereotypical as to be laughable.  The previous summer, I had
been browbeaten into doing a favor for one of my numerous cousins
on my mother's side of the family.  This particular cousin, James
Lathan, was thirty years older than me, more an uncle than
cousin, and was also the minister at our church, a situation that
complicated my life enormously.  My own religious beliefs were
not profound but my parents and I attended church services
without fail.  It was 'expected', and so we were highly visible
members of my cousin's church.  Since he was my cousin, James
felt quite at ease cornering me after the service one Sunday in
late May.  Our church, along with a number of others, ran a
summer camp about 50 miles away in the Pennsylvania 'mountains'.
Called the Rocklands, I had made the expected journey into exile
for one week every summer from the time I was in first grade
until the end of junior high.  It was, I assumed, an average
camp, with acres and acres of old growth forest, streams and
steep valleys dotted with huge boulders dropped when the glaciers
retreated eons past.  Rock climbing, hiking and assorted
outdoorsy activities made up the bulk of the entertainment.  This
year, however, there was a problem.  When James told me the camp
was scrambling to find enough counselors, the warning lights
flipped on in my mind and I started to look around for an avenue
of escape.  Unfortunately, he had thought this out quite well,
calling me into the changing room while he got out of his
vestments.  As I listened, I realized it wasn't quite as bad as I
had initially thought.

	The camp wasn't very large, with perhaps 250 campers and
25 to 30 counselors in residence.  The kids would come for a
week, arriving on Sunday afternoon and staying through Saturday
morning, giving the counselors one night off each week.  The
majority of the counselors, in fact, would be volunteers, staying
for two or three weeks before being replaced by others.  I would
be one of ten or fifteen paid staff members who would be there
the entire summer.  And the money was something I could certainly
use.  I didn't have an after-school job, and had been unhappily
contemplating a daily forty-five minute commute to the nearest
mall in order to work retail during the summer.  The salary for
counselors was three thousand dollars for the summer, more than I
would make working retail for forty hours a week for three
months.  An added benefit would be that there simply weren't many
places to spend the money I would earn.  The camp was out in the
middle of nowhere resulting in an enforced fiscal responsibility.
All in all, it sounded like a pretty good deal.  Still, I
hesitated.  Although I didn't have many friends, there were a few
people I wanted to spend time with over the summer, and being
exiled to Gaul would make that virtually impossible, no matter
what the financial rewards were.  And there was one other point
to clear up.  "Aren't you afraid I might lead the poor innocents
from the path of righteousness?"  I asked.  James and I had gone
head to head in quite a few discussions over the past few years.
Sitting around a dinner table and talking over current events,
theology and the like was a favored past time in my family.  I
liked and respected James, even though I seldom agreed with him.
We usually argued more for sport than any real attempt to sway
the other person.  But since it was a church related camp, there
might be conflicts.  "Not really, Dave" he replied with a smile.
"There are plenty of others who will be happy to lead the Bible
lessons, even if they won't be quite as interesting as yours
might be."  

	I told him I'd think it over and give him my answer
within a couple of days.  Over the next few days, I mulled the
possibility over, talking with those few friends I would truly
miss and asking my parents advice.  Everyone seemed to be in
agreement.  It was a good opportunity to salt away some extra
money of my own.  And my parents thought, in the way of all
parents, it would be 'a good experience' for me.  That was
probably enough to seal my fate.  So after school ended for the
summer, I spent a week getting ready for my adventure.  I packed
and gathered together what little outdoor equipment I had.  I
debated with myself about whether or not to take my car or have
my parents drop me at the camp.  I had no idea how many others
were going to have cars, and I wasn't thrilled with the
possibility of being the camp chauffeur.  Oh well, I could always
be a prick and say "No!"

	When I arrived on Saturday morning, I was greeted and
directed towards the dorm.  Since the counselors would be moving
from cabin to cabin throughout the summer, we kept most of our
extra belongings in the dorm.  We were assigned two to a room,
and I quickly dropped my things in my room.  I found my new
roommate already unpacked and relaxing in his bunk.  I made my
introductions and found that his name was Paul Randall and he had
just finished his junior year at Ohio State.  We were pretty well
matched, surprising me a little.  His motivations for working at
the camp that summer were an echo of my own.  He needed the money
and he had attended the camp when he was younger as well.  He was
something of an outdoors enthusiast, but I told him I wouldn't
hold it against him.  Paul was a fair example of the other
counselors as well.  Most of the rest of the staff would be made
up of college students and recent graduates.  College aged,
perhaps studying child psychology or a related field, they
enjoyed the outdoors and liked the idea of spending a summer (or
two or three or more) as a counselor.  This was Paul's second
year at the camp, and he warned me that the volunteer counselors
who would be joining for a limited time were something different.

	"Most of us are our here because we enjoy the outdoors
and such," he said as we waited around for everyone to trickle
in.  "The fact that it's a church camp is basically incidental.
If we weren't here we'd probably try to get jobs at some other
camp, it's just not a big deal to most of us."  I could see where
he was leading with this.  If I really thought about it, I could
even remember the difference in some of the counselors I'd had
from year to year.  "The people who do this part time, though.
They're much more wrapped up in the religious part of it.  They
can be a royal pain in the ass, you know?"  He paused and reached
into the small night stand that stood by his bunk.  He pulled out
a pack of cigarettes and offered me one.  "We're not supposed to
smoke in front of the kids.  We're really not supposed to do it
at all, but nobody bitches if we do it in here."

	I shook my head and reached into my duffel bag to draw
out my own pack.  I had been a little worried that I was going to
have to spend my time sneaking away for a cigarette every once in
a while.  He grinned and went on, "Well, it's good that they've
put us together at least.  The thing about the temps," he said,
referring to the part time counselors, "is that as long as you
let them do their thing, they usually stay off your case.  When
they get that funny gleam in their eye, just give them a wide
berth." 

	We spent the rest of the morning getting to know each
other and greeting people as they arrived.  By late that
afternoon, everyone was there and we all convened in the mess
hall for the first of many staff meetings.  The first week would
be spent actually getting the camp physically ready for the
invasion of campers.  Although there was a small staff, which was
responsible for the upkeep of the grounds, there was still plenty
of work left to go around.  It turned out that there would be a
total of 16 full-time counselors, 8 guys and 8 girls.  I quickly
realized I was the youngest of the permanent staff and after a
rather formal talk with the camp administrators, that this was
the first time they had ever hired a 'minor' for the position.
The administrators, a painfully earnest middle-aged couple named
Sam and Lydia Brown, made it clear that "Reverend James" as they
called him, had done a great deal of convincing to get me this
job.  I realized the cupboard must truly be bare for him to put
this much effort into circumventing the standards of the camp.
During the interminable staff meetings, which highlighted each
day, the assignments were hammered out.  Although there was a
state law that precluded me from being a 'lead counselor' due to
my age, it really didn't affect our situation much since there
were always two counselors for each campsite.

	The Rocklands was a coed camp, with campers broken into
three groupings by age.  Each sub-group was composed of between
ten and fifteen campsites, with boys and girls grouped together,
but sleeping in separate accommodations.  Glen Rock was composed
of campsites with two Adirondack-style lean-tos, one each for the
boys and girls.  The lean-tos were wooden shacks that had one
wall replaced by a heavy plastic covered canvas curtain and held
up to 15 kids each.  Each campsite was named for a bird, Eagle,
Rave, Osprey, etc.  Being the camp for the elementary school aged
kids, it was located closest to the center of camp, nearest to
the nurse's office, mess hall and pool.

	Further out came Castle Rock, the camp for the junior
high kids.  Unlike the younger children, these campers slept in
actual tents, albeit semi-permanent ones with wooden floors.  The
tents were large, and included bunks for up to 10 people.  These
campsites also included a picnic table near the enlarged fire
pit.  Castle Rock was more spread out and further away from the
main buildings than Glen Rock, in the case of some campsites, up
to a half-mile away.  I was not looking forward to being assigned
to one of the outlying sites, envisioning a long trek up for
breakfast every morning.  Just as Glen Rock had, there was a
naming convention for these campsites, but instead of birds, they
were named after mammals, Wolf, Bear, Antelope, Deer and others.


	The oldest campers stayed at The Tribes, a group of
campsites over a mile distant.  The campsites were made up of
crude, but sturdy log cabins and, of course, were named for
American Indian tribal names.  Since they were so far out, they
were largely self-sufficient, cooking both breakfast and lunch
for themselves.  At the center of the Tribes was a small
outbuilding that held a large refrigerator and the cooking
utensils they would need.  It also included a telephone to allow
them to get into contact with the main camp in case of an
emergency.  In addition to the tee-pees, each campsite had a
canvas tent that covered the picnic table, so they wouldn't
become soaked eating lunch; and also a large sink and faucet so
they could clean up the dishes.  Like Glen and Castle Rocks, The
Tribes' campsites each had their own shower and bath facilities. 

	It was something of a surprise to think that I could
actually end up as a counselor to someone my age.  I seriously
doubted the likelihood of that event though.  Sam and Lydia were
far to concerned about the 'propriety' of such a situation for it
ever to come about.  Almost all of the counselors were scheduled
to work with one age group during the entire summer, because of
either preference or educational background.  Since I was both
the newest and youngest counselor, I had been designated as one
of the 'utility infielder' of the staff.  There were four of us,
and we would fill in wherever needed, depending on the
demographics of the campers in any given week.  By the end of the
week, the camp was ready.  Physical labor has never been one of
my favorite activities, but at least I'm good at it.  The fields
had been mowed and raked and were ready for the campers arrival.
Volleyball courts had been reconstructed and the pool had been
cleaned and readied.  It was early June and the sun hadn't had
much of a chance to heat the water yet.  It was still decidedly
chilly.  Being big, strong and, most importantly, lowest in
seniority, I had been stuck with one of the more distasteful
tasks, along with the grounds staff.  I had spent most of the
week riding round in with them in one of the camp's dilapidated
pick ups, spreading several tons of bark along the main paths
that wound their way between the camp buildings.  The pine bark
smelled much better than what I was used to shoveling with a
pitchfork, but it was still exhausting.  The groundskeepers were
friendly and didn't laugh when I showed up in the morning stiff
and sore from the previous day's labor.  Well, they didn't laugh
much.  By Friday, I was exhausted, thankful that I wasn't looking
at a whole summer of that type of work.  Saturday was spent
finalizing everything in anticipation of the impending arrival of
the first campers.  I'm sure the topics they covered in the
meetings were of vital importance, but I couldn't testify to the
fact.  The previous week had really tired me out and I found
myself dropping off into sleep throughout the meeting.
Fortunately, I didn't advertise by snoring, and if I did, Paul
was there to kick me in the leg before it got too loud.  Because
I had spent most of the week with the grounds-staff, I hadn't had
much of an opportunity to get to know many of the other full-time
counselors.  I had usually finished the day by five o'clock,
eaten dinner and gone directly to the dorm to try to catch up on
some sleep.  Paul had tried his best to make sure I at least was
introduced to everyone, going to the extremes of bringing them
all back to our room on some pretext, simply to introduce me.
Unfortunately I was usually too tired to do anything but murmur a
greeting and collapse back down onto the bunk.  Hopefully, things
would change tonight.  With the arrival of the first batch of
temps, (even I had come into the habit of referring to the part
time counselors in that way) Saturday night was given over to a
social mixer in the mess hall.  Although I thought it was
charmingly anachronistic, who was I to argue?  It wasn't really,
it was nothing more than an opportunity to gather after dinner to
talk and get to know one another.  Hell, it sounded like a good
idea to me, I just hoped I'd be able to remember everyone's
names.  After the meeting broke up, I headed back to my room to
put together my stuff in order to move it down to my first
assignment; Bear Camp in Castle Rock.  Not one of the camps
furthest out, but far enough so I knew mornings were going to be
a pain in the ass.  I put together a week's worth of clothes and
gathered together everything else I thought I'd need.  Then,
since I didn't have anything pressing to do, I decided I could
really use another nap.  The chairs in the meeting really didn't
have enough back support to be comfortable.  And, besides, who
could really sleep with Sam and Lydia going on and on and on all
morning?

	I didn't wake up until Paul came in after dinner, I had
been tired enough to sleep through it.  Oh well, camp food was
nutritious but hardly a gourmand's delight.  I had enough food
squirreled away that I knew I wouldn't starve.  I needn't have
worried.  Paul noticed that I was missing at dinner and had
brought a plate back to the dorm for me.  I had about an hour to
eat, shower and dress.  Plenty of time.  Paul had told me
previously that it was definitely a 'come as you are' event, very
low key, so I took him at his word. However, I did make certain
to put on a decent shirt and the best pair of shorts I had
brought.  I checked myself in the mirror.  It wasn't a terribly
impressive image, but not an embarrassment either, which is about
as good as I could have hoped.  I grabbed a pair of docksiders
and we headed out.  Most of the people had already arrived, but
there were a couple of stragglers walking along the path with us.
Jenny and Melissa were roomed next door to us, so I had been able
to get to know them just a little better than most of the others.
They were college friends who had decided to work at the camp
together during the summer break after their sophomore year at
Penn State.  Jenny was short, no taller than five feet.  With
night black hair and olive complexion, she wasn't fat or heavy,
so much as well rounded.  No matter what she wore, it seemed as
though she had been poured into the clothes instead of pulling
them on like us mere mortals.  Melissa was almost a foot taller,
with a slim athletic build and bright blond hair.  Unlike her
companion, Melissa was quiet, seldom saying anything, although
her bright friendly eyes suggested that there was much going on
behind her shy exterior. 

	We caught up to them quickly and made our way to the mess
hall.  Someone had done a nice job in arranging the lounge area.
There were several couches in the room, each with accompanying
arm chairs so people could sit and talk.  A table along the wall
held refreshments, a simple selection of chips, dip and soda.
Everyone seemed to have arrived, including the new temps.  Sam
and Lydia introduced the temps to us, after which people broke up
and started the process of getting to know each other.  The new
counselors were older, by and large.  Most of them were in their
early thirties, although I saw an older couple, introduced as
"Mr. and Mrs. Weaver" who were probably pushing fifty.  There
were also a few who looked about the same age as most of us.  I'm
not very good at 'pressing the flesh' but I did my best,
wandering around, trying to make sure I introduced myself and
have a few words with everyone.  Most of the volunteers knew my
cousin and I was able to use that as a starting point for some
social chatting.  While moving from one group to another, I saw
Paul standing in the corner, talking to Jenny.  He seemed to be
keeping her entertained, although I started to get a little
curious about just what he was saying after she burst out
laughing.   

	After about an hour of this, I was satisfied. Finished
making my loop, I was ready to grab a big glass of coke and find
an unused corner somewhere.  I had done what I had come to do; I
could now put names with each of the faces, and had some
rudimentary idea of what each one was like.  I wasn't too worried
about the temps; they'd be gone in three weeks in any case.  But
knowing the names of my permanent coworkers was definitely in
order.  I realized that it had taken well over an hour and that I
was in dire need of a cigarette.  I looked around but couldn't
find Paul, who was the only other smoker I knew.  He and Jenny
seemed to have disappeared when I wasn't looking.  It wasn't a
tremendous surprise.  Even though I had spent most of the week
either busting my ass dumping pine bark or asleep, I was aware
Paul had been after her since 10 minutes after she had arrived.
I slipped out the door onto the porch.  Darkness had fallen,
unnoticed by most of us as we were occupied inside.  I walked to
the railing, looking out over the paths that wound their way up
to the mess hall.  Fumbling in my pocket, I pulled out a
cigarette and lit it quickly.  The feeble glow of the matched was
enough to light up a huddled shape a few feet away.  Oh shit.  I
held my breath, hoping it wasn't someone who would give me
problems about smoking in 'public'.  When the person turned to
look at me, I could make out Melissa's face in the dim light.

	"You're not supposed to do that," she said lightly.  She
was sitting on the steps up to the porch with her arms wrapped
around her legs.  I hadn't noticed before, but it was getting
chilly.  

 	"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I responded.  "I know.  But after
spending an hour working the room, I need it.  What are you doing
out here?" 

She looked back over her shoulder at the doorway, "I just wanted
to get away for a minute.  Too many people in there."  She
grinned.  "You looked like a pro in there.  Going to be a
politician when you grow up?"

	"Not hardly, I think I could get used to the lying and
corruption, it's this part I that I'd have a problem with."  That
garnered a deep rich laugh.  Hey, any time you can make a woman
laugh a happy laugh has to go down as a win, particularly a
beautiful woman.  "But considering my position here, I've got
play the game.  Sam and Lydia are less than thrilled about me
being hired, even I can tell that much. 

	"How'd you like that introduction?  'And this is our
newest and youngest counselor, David Taylor.'  I felt like the
newest exhibit at the zoo!"  I blew out a cloud of smoke.  "I'm
going to kill James when I get back home."

	"Who's James?"

	"My ever loving cousin.  He's the minister at our church
and he's the one who got me into this mess.  He convinced me to
come up here a couple of weeks ago, and I assumed that there
wouldn't be a problem.  He's got a nasty habit of leaving out the
bad news.  Even in his sermons," I finished with a laugh.  I
field stripped the butt and stuck it into my pocket.  No sense
leaving any evidence.  

"You'll probably do all right.  This is my third year, and it's
not all that tough.  The kids are pretty good, for the most part.
Where are they starting you off?"

	"In Castle Rock.  Sam said he thought that would be
better than Glen Rock, less worry about nightmares and
homesickness."  I had to agree with him there.  "And besides, I'd
rather deal with snotty seventh graders than a homesick third
grader.  At least I know how to stomp on them.  Hell, I remember
when I was one of them!" 

She giggled.  "It's really not that bad."  She paused for a
moment, and then slid the knife in, "Most of them don't have your
imagination.  Or sense of grandeur, I'd imagine."

	"Huh?"  Perhaps if I hadn't spent the previous week in
mind-numbing physical labor I could have lied my way out of it.
As it was, I didn't stand a chance.

	"My older brother Kerry used to be a counselor here,
before I started.  He was your counselor at least twice that I
know of, maybe more.  And he used to regale the family with his
descriptions of your adventures."

	At that point, I started to get a funny feeling.  "Kerry?
Kerry Blackman?"  Oh god, don't let it be Kerry Blackman.  

"Bingo."

	Oh no.  "Please tell me you're the only one who knows."
Please, please, please.  As a seventh and eighth grade camper I
had been, well, something of a handful.  A handful my ass, I was
a nightmare.  During those two years, the Rocklands had
experimented with kids staying more than just one week.  It
varied from camper to camper, and depended on how much room there
was available.  I had spent a month and a half at the camp each
summer during those two years, and after about the second week, I
started to get bored.  I suppose I could blame it on seeing
Meatballs too many times, but I knew better.  I was just that
kind of guy.  The experiment didn't work out.  For the first
time, I wondered if it was partially my fault.  "Well," she
drawled.  "I'm probably the only one who knows that you're the
same person, but there might be one or two of the temps who were
here that long ago."

	I breathed a sigh of relief.  It was over four years ago,
and I didn't really look much as I did back then.  I was several
inches taller and almost fifty pounds heavier.  It looked as if I
might be able to escape by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin.

	"But," she added, almost as an afterthought.  "Some of
the tricks you pulled are legendary.  If you hadn't been sleeping
the whole time, you would have been around to hear us talking
about them.  That stunt with the administrator's cabin is
particularly well respected." 

I groaned.  "You're really enjoying this aren't you?"  I hadn't
planned on any of this.  Everyone was pulling stunts like that
back then.  Admittedly, mine were a little more spectacular than
most, but I really hadn't counted on them being incorporated in
the institutional mythology.

	"Hey, I'm just letting you know what's going on."  She
was enjoying it.  She had a huge smile on her face.  I wasn't so
distracted by my impending doom that I didn't notice she had a
beautiful smile.  Her face was one of strong features, all angles
and planes.  She missed being beautiful by less than a whisker.
But when she smiled all those too strong features softened into
something breathtaking.  "I really want to know how you pulled
that one off.  Kerry talked about it for weeks after he came home
that year."

	I lit another cigarette to stall for time.

	"Got an extra?" she asked.  "I didn't bring mine.  I was
planning on quitting this summer, since I don't have a car; it's
pretty far to pick up another pack.  I thought it would be the
perfect time." 

"Yeah, sure."  I shook another one out of the battered pack of
Marlboros.  "Let me know if you need a ride somewhere, I did
bring my car.  And let me know if you want to snag a cigarette.
I buy them by the carton so I don't have to leave every day." 

"Thanks," she said exhaling.  "But you didn't answer my
question." 

Damn.  "It wasn't all that tough.  The administrator, Jim, always
left the camp on Saturday nights.  And since half of the
counselors also got time off, they were spread a little thin.
Six of us slipped away in the middle of the night and did it in
less than four hours.  We were back in our bunks by six in the
morning." 

"I know all that.  I want to know how you did it."
 
"You've got a nasty streak of curiosity in you, Melissa, you know
that?"  It wasn't a big secret, but still.  You're never supposed
to give away how you did a trick.  And I wasn't about to reveal
my secrets here.  "All right.  Let's go for a walk.  I don't like
the idea of someone overhearing this.  It's bad enough as it is."
She agreed and we started walking down away from the mess hall,
not really in any direction in particular, just away from
everyone gathered inside.  While we walked, I started my story
again, this time with all the details.  "I had planned this for
about two weeks.  Jim always had a meeting with the counselors
who would be staying on the grounds that weekend on Friday
evening, right before Vespers.  Another guy, Tony, and me cut out
of Vespers on the Friday we were going to pull this.  We headed
into the woods from the chapel, and worked our way back to the
camp.  We were from different cabins, and had guys ready to tell
our counselors that we were sitting over with the other guy's
cabin if they asked.  

	"You're dead-set on getting this whole story, aren't
you?"  I asked.  She nodded and slipped her arm through mine.
"OK, we went back to Jim's cabin and went inside.  He never
locked it except when he was going away for the night.  So
anyway, we went in and checked the windows.  They were all locked
as well, but we found one in the back room that didn't look like
it had been opened for five years or more.  We unscrewed the
slide lock, but left it in place so it looked as if it was still
locked.  I doubt he even checked it before he took off for the
night.  

	"The roving patrols the counselors made after lights out
were stretched a little thin because so many of them had the
night off.  After we got back to our cabins, we just waited until
everyone was asleep and then slipped away.  There were six of us
who actually did the work and about ten more who were in on it
and acted as lookouts.  If the counselors woke up and started
getting suspicious, they were supposed to distract them.  That
part was a little shaky."  I paused for a minute.  "Hell, it
didn't work, we just got lucky, which is just as important.  In
any case, we got to the cabin and sent the smallest guy through
the window.  It worked as pretty as you please.  He snaked up
through the window and then opened the locked door from the
inside.  The furniture wasn't as hard as it sounds.  It was
hardly Chippendale, was it?  The only hard part was getting the
dresser out of the door.  After that, it was easy.  Tied a couple
of canoes together to ferry everything out to the swim platform
and then put everything in the right position.  After that we
went back to the cabin, fixed the lock on the window, locked the
door from the inside and we were done.  Everyone got back into
their own cabins without getting caught and, voila!  The perfect
locked room mystery."  

	I stopped dead, finally realizing something.  "Kerry told
you, didn't he?  That's how you know!"  In the morning when our
dastardly deed was discovered there had been absolute
pandemonium.  Everyone assumed I was responsible, because of my
previous track record, but no one could prove it.  No one but
one.  During one of the trips from the cabin, carrying the
furniture, I saw a shape standing back off the path in the woods.
At first, I thought it was one of our lookouts, just keeping out
of the way.  After I looked the second time, I knew we were
toast, unless of course, one of our lookouts had sprouted an
extra foot and grown a beard in the last twenty minutes.  It was
Kerry Blackman, my counselor.  We looked each other in the eye,
and I started to sweat.  Then he just smiled, shook his head and
turned away.  I waited all day for him to say something to Jim.
It never happened.  I don't think anyone else saw him standing
there that night and he never mentioned it to me afterwards, but
there wasn't any doubt that he knew exactly who was responsible
for that one.  "That son of a bitch," I laughed.  "He kept his
mouth shut at camp and then gets home and spills his guts.  Oh
lord."  

"I told you, he really admired that one."  She was laughing along
with me as we strolled along the paths.  "He told me about seeing
the faces of the other counselors when they strolled up to the
lake that morning.  It must have been priceless."

	"I wouldn't know," I said catching my breath.  "I was so
damned tired I slept in and missed all the fun.  By the time I
got up there, everyone was just sitting around admiring it.  I
just sat down with everyone else and started asking dumb
questions.  Fortunately, none of the other guys felt like
boasting, at least that year.  It didn't matter, really.
Everyone knew who had been in on it, they just couldn't prove
it."  As we walked, I looked around to figure out where we were.
During the last week, I had gotten reacquainted the main paths of
the grounds and I immediately realized that we had made a large
loop, and were now nearing the dorm again.  "I just hope I won't
have to deal with anyone quite that... enthusiastic, especially
in my first week."  For the first time, I became aware that we
had been walking for quite a while, and her arm had remained
comfortably in mine the whole time.  

"You won't," she said with some certainty.  "You're going to get
mostly sixth graders for the first couple of weeks.  They're not
as stupid as you might think.  Well, not quite.  Sam and Lydia
want to make sure that you can handle yourself before they throw
you to the wolves, so to speak.  You're going to have to actually
pay attention to what's going on, and not bury yourself in a
book."

 "And just how do you know that?  What the hell is going on
around here?  And how do you know what kind of kids I'm getting?
Sam didn't even tell me what cabin I'd be in for this week until
this afternoon!" Things were going very badly for me.  I'm not
used to people knowing more about me than I do about them.

	She smiled a knowing smile.  "You really don't remember
me, do you?" I stopped in my tracks, almost pulling her off
balance.  

"Sorry about that," I apologized immediately.  I was wracking my
brain, trying to figure this puzzle out.  I hate puzzles.  I
turned to look at her, "How about a hint?  C'mon, this isn't
fair.  My brain is fried from this week."

	She was definitely enjoying this.  And enjoying it way,
way too much for my comfort.  "A hint?  OK, I'll give you a hint.
Are you ready?  The hint is: Linda."

	"Linda?  Oh God," I groaned.  Linda Lathan was James'
oldest daughter.  All of a sudden, it clicked.  Last
Thanksgiving.  One of our family traditions was to have a huge
get-together for both Christmas and Thanksgiving.  On this
occasion, Linda happened to bring home her roommate from school.
Guess who.  Back then she had been a brunette with her hair cut
very short.  She had also been wearing glasses which, in
combination with everything else, served to change her appearance
markedly.  

	"Well... shit."  I shuddered when I thought of what she
must have been told.  

	The look on my face must have been a winner, because
Melissa once more dissolved into gales of laughter.  She tried to
say something but it was a lost cause.  We must have made a
helluva picture, the two of us standing there in a pool of light,
me with a look of dumbfounded horror on my face and Melissa in
overcome with hysterical laughter.  "Oh God," she moaned after
another moment or two.  "I've been wanting to do that for the
last week, and hadn't had a chance.  I knew that you didn't
recognize me right away, but I thought you'd catch on before
this."  She was still giggling in fits.  "Once you told Rev.
Lathan that you would be working here this summer, he called me
directly to tell me.  When I got here, I talked to Sam and Lydia
right away, suggesting I be paired with you for at least the
first few weeks, just to 'show you the ropes' and all.  They've
been watching you pretty closely the last week, just to satisfy
themselves that you'd be able to handle yourself.  Today they
told me that we were going to be paired until further notice,"
she finished proudly.  Well, that sounded good... and bad.
Tonight had proven, at least to me that we could get along.  For
all the laughter and tricks that she had played on me; she hadn't
been malicious at all.  It was 'all in good fun', except that
this time, it really was.  But I was just a little nervous about
what else she might be holding up her sleeve.  

By the time we started on our way again and actually made it back
to the dorm, we found that the 'meet and greet' at the mess hall
had broken up and most of the people had trickled back to the
dorm.  Everyone, at least all those who had made it back seemed
to be gathered in the common room, sitting around and having a
general BS session.  The topic of the evening was the new temps
that had arrived.  We had spotted some possible problems in the
group this evening.  There were a few who seemed to be determined
to turn what we, and most of the kids, thought of as a simple
week of summer camp into an old fashioned spiritual revival
meeting.  For those who had been here before it was expected, but
I was still surprised, even with the warnings from Paul.  We
spent a while talking about the best way to deal with it.  The
general consensus was to cross your fingers and hope you weren't
assigned with one of them.  Not terribly helpful, but it was the
best we had.  From across the room Melissa caught my eye and gave
me a wink.  I was more thankful than ever that she had pulled
that rotten, underhanded and sneaky trick to get Sam and Lydia to
put me under her wing.  After that, the discussion moved on to
the latest trends on the various college campuses they all
attended.  Since I wasn't going to have to worry about that for
at least a year, by which time the information would be
hopelessly out of date, I didn't pay much attention.  After a few
moments, I made my way quietly back down the hall to my room.  

	It didn't look like Paul had made it back at all.  I
hadn't seen him in the common room and our room seemed
undisturbed.  I shrugged and hoped he wasn't lying on some patch
of poison ivy somewhere.  I knew that love was supposed to hurt,
but I didn't think it was supposed to itch.  I shook my head and
got ready for bed.  The afternoon nap I had taken had gotten me
through the mixer, but I was fading fast.  Morning would come
soon enough, and with it would come my first experience as a
counselor.  


Chapter 3

	When I woke, it was to Paul's rather abrasive voice.
Well, at least he had made it back at some point during the
night, which was nice to know.  I changed my mind about the
thought I had the night before, I hoped he had spent at least
some of the time in a poison ivy patch.  I don't wake up
particularly gracefully in the best of circumstances, and this
definitely wasn't the best of circumstances.  Muttering a few
vile imprecations in Paul's general direction under my breath, I
dragged myself up out of bed and went in search of caffeine and
nicotine.  The latter was easy to find while the former required
a short walk to the nearest soda machine.  I never developed a
taste for coffee and Coke served as my morning wake up call.
After a cigarette and a Coke, I decided that I might want to live
after all, and hauled myself into the shower.  That improved
things to the point that I was feeling vaguely human again.  Paul
looked about as bad as I felt, although I assume he had more
cause.  On our way out we stopped and picked up Jenny who
couldn't seem to yawning.  Melissa met us on the porch and we
trouped towards our awaiting breakfast.  Unlike the three of us,
Melissa seemed absolutely full of energy and enthusiasm.  And
much less reserved than she did yesterday.  I made a mental note
to ask her if she had been so quiet just to make it more
difficult for me to recognize her.  From what I knew of her, it
seemed likely.  After breakfast, we broke up into the groups we'd
be working in for the next week.  We got a list of the campers
we'd be responsible for in the next week, along with an itinerary
for group activities that would, with minor modifications, be in
place for the rest of the summer.  The next few hours were spent
by having the permanent staff move our gear down to the
individual campsites, a quick planning session with Castle Rock's
Head Counselor, Raymond Boyd, and getting ready to greet and sort
the kids.  The first cars pulled in right around noon and after
that, it was a steady effort simply to keep track of all the new
faces.  The grounds crew had the responsibility of directing
parking, but each of the counselors took their turn, while their
partner pulled double duty of not only gathering the new
arrivals, but also keeping track of those they had already
managed to round up.  Melissa and I were fortunate in that all of
our kids were there by three in the afternoon, which left us
several hours to have all the kids settled in by dinner.  Some
other counselors weren't so lucky.  One pair was just hustling
their kids into their campsite when we passed them on the way to
dinner.  Those are the breaks.  Dinner was a revelation.  I never
realized as a camper how little a counselor actually got to eat.
We were far too busy trying to make sure that the salt stayed in
the shakers and not in someone's drink and that the food stayed
on the plates and didn't end up flying through the air to become
an interesting, if temporary piece of abstract art.  If this was
an indication of what was to come, it was obvious that I would be
losing a lot of weight.  My own camping experience was recent
enough to remember all the nasty little tricks that people had
played on each other, although I had never been one to go in for
the low level terrorism that passes for practical jokes among
adolescents.  I was always after bigger game.  But perhaps I was
just a special talent.

	We managed to get through dinner without any major
mishaps, and even back to the campsite in relatively good order.
Watching Melissa interacting with the kids throughout dinner and
afterwards was impressive.  Our styles in dealing with kids were
very different.  She had the gift of being able to convince them
to do almost anything she wanted.  She had them eating out of her
hand within an hour.  I think her physical attractiveness was a
definite asset when it came to dealing with adolescent boys in
particular.  After about an hour of getting to know each other
and basically goofing around it was time for evening services.
Generally, they lasted between a half hour and forty-five minutes
consisting of a few songs and a 'sermon'.  Very informal, it was
mostly just a gentle reminder to the kids that this was, in fact,
a church camp.  

	After Vespers, we returned to the campsite, making sure
that everyone could find their way, even in the dark.  Unusually,
the majority of our campers were making their first trip to the
Rocklands and they weren't familiar with the layout of the camp.
From my own experience a few years ago, most of the kids were
veterans and knew the camp better than the counselors.  It was a
minor additional headache with which we had to contend.  The kids
had been surprisingly well behaved, considering how worked up
they all were.  We had a couple of hours left till lights out,
and to occupy the time we fell back on the old camping standards:
a roaring campfire and songs.  There was some rowdiness to be
worked off, but that was to be expected.  By 10:00, everyone was
pretty much ready for bed.  The camp rules were that campers had
to be in their cabins or tents and in bed by 10:00.  They didn't
say they had to be asleep by then, and it would have been
laughable to try to enforce it in any case.  The campfire itself
was within earshot of both tents, so Melissa and I sat on the
logs surrounding the fire, talking quietly and listening for
either too much noise, or too much quiet from the tents.  Either
one could be a sign of something going on.   

	The first week passed in a blur for me.  The morning
schedule for the Bear campers included summer camp standby of
arts and crafts, swimming and sports, where the kids had their
choice of volleyball, archery and canoeing, among others,
depending on what interested them on that day.  The sports period
also served to give the any counselors who weren't acting as
instructors time away from the kids each day, which I found was
more important than I had realized.  After breaking for lunch,
the afternoon was usually taken up with long hikes along the
extensive trails that looped through the hundreds of acres of
forests.  The trails were clearly marked, but since many of the
kids were unfamiliar with The Rocklands, keeping track of
everyone required our attention.  At some point in the afternoon,
we were supposed to have a Bible lesson of some kind.  For us, it
usually consisted of ten minutes of reading a particular passage
and then asking them "Does anyone have anything to say about
this?"  Since the kids were even less interested, there were
seldom any takers.

	After dinner, there were usually activities of some kind.
More sports or even a huge game of Capture the Flag that
incorporated most of the Camp.  With all the land at our disposal
and the number of participants, the game could continue for
hours.  The counselors were normally drafted as umpires, making
sure the players didn't stray too far down the valley in their
attempt to sneak past the enemy lines.  Melissa and I usually
volunteered to take the position furthest down.  We spent the
time talking and listening for the crash of kids moving through
the underbrush.  As long as they weren't heading too far down the
hill, we left them alone.  If, on the other hand, they were
making a beeline for the river, we gently mentioned that they
might be far enough down already, although very few of the kids
ever made it to our position.

	Our conversations had grown increasingly personal as the
days went on.  Although she already knew a great deal about me,
she, in turn, opened up and told me about herself.  At 22, she
was a year older than most juniors were, having taken a year off
following high school.  Her college major was psychology with
minor in child development, which helped to explain both why she
was here, and why she was so damned good at it.  Her senior year
was coming up in the fall, and she wasn't sure what she wanted to
do afterwards.  She was torn between the urge to get out of the
academic setting and get to work, returning at some point for her
masters, or continuing straight through without a break.  I was
at a loss.  She actually seemed to want my opinion on the matter,
much to my surprise.  

	"What the hell would I know about it," I asked in
amazement.  "You seem to forget that I'm still in high school!"
It was Friday night, and the kids were already in the tents.  We
had talked about this before, but that was the first time she had
come right out and asked me my opinion.  

	"No, I haven't forgotten that," she said quietly.  "Well,
not in the last fifteen minutes at least.  And that has nothing
to do with it anyway.  Linda is one of the smartest people I've
met, and after rooming with her for three years, I should know.
And she's told me time and time again that you're about three
times smarter than she is.  That means something."

	"Shit.  Linda talks too much."  It was embarrassing.  I
knew I was intelligent, but this was different.  I was used to
the strange looks I got at school and I could even absorb the
half-insulting, half-admiring label of 'geek' I tended to hear as
I passed people in the halls.  Even though I could more than hold
my own in almost any conversation with 'adults', I couldn't
imagine one asking me for advice about their personal lives.  It
was as if my cousin James had asked me if he should take the new
job with a larger congregation.  What the hell did I know about
it?

	We were sitting together on the ground in front of the
fire, using the log benches as back rests.  I wasn't exactly
uncomfortable sitting so close, but I wished I had a better idea
of what the hell was going on.  When she reached over to take my
hand, I got even more confused.  Of course, I was aware of
exactly how attractive and sexy she was, but it hadn't
overwhelmed me.  I was more confused about where the conversation
was going than anything else was.  "Dave, the fact that you're in
high school doesn't have anything to do with it.  You're not
exactly the average high school kid, anyway, are you?"  I had to
agree with that.  So far, three years of high school had done
little but demonstrate just how weird I was in comparison to
everyone else.  "And even if I didn't already know from what
Kerry had told me, the little details Linda provided, once we
figured out that you were the same person, convinced me," she
giggled.  I wanted to take the time when I got home and have a
nice long talk with Linda about this entire situation, preferably
one that involved some measure of revenge for her
good-intentioned indiscretions.  "When Linda invited me home for
Thanksgiving, I wasn't planning on coming, until she mentioned
that it would be a full family gathering and that you would be
there.  How could I resist the opportunity to actually meet you
in the flesh," she asked coyly.  "And you didn't exactly
disappoint."

	I thought back to what had happened during the dinner.
By our family's standards, it had been comparatively uneventful.
But the after-dinner discussion had been more in keeping with the
family traditions.  As I recalled, James had made an offhand
remark about his disagreement with a newspaper article that dealt
with the possibility of a genetic cause for homosexuality.  Once
the gauntlet was thrown, I could hardly restrain myself.  He and
I had gone head to head once again on the causes, effects and
morality of homosexuality.  Not the average discussion for a
holiday, but we weren't an average family.  James and I had gone
back and forth, with most of the other adults sitting back and
tossing in leading questions whenever it seemed as though the
conversation was slowing.  

	"Well," I said slowly, "that wasn't exactly a typical
example.  He got on my nerves that night.  He does that fairly
often," I said with a snort.  As I thought about it, it actually
was a typical example.  I liked James, he was intelligent, well
read and well spoken; but he had a tendency to be lazy in his
thinking, and that drove me nuts.  He was too willing to accept
the teaching of the church without considering the ramifications
for my tastes.  

	"Hey, you would have convinced me," she laughed, "if I
hadn't already agreed with you!  I won't say that I had a crush
on you, but I did seriously wonder about what might have happened
if you were a couple of years older."  She said that very
quietly, almost as if she was the one who should be embarrassed.
Turning towards me, I saw the light from the dying fire dancing
on her face.  "And this week hasn't done anything to change
that."  With that she leaned over and brushed her lips across
mine.

	I simply sat back and enjoyed.  I didn't have a clue what
was going on and for once, I didn't try to act as if I did.  I
allowed her to take the lead, since I wasn't sure what I was even
supposed to do.  No matter what the childhood memories might tell
you, a few times playing Truth or Dare and Spin the Bottle does
not prepare you for what to do when the kiss actually becomes
meaningful.  And I was quite aware that this was, in fact, a
'meaningful' kiss.  Even though I didn't quite know just what it
did mean, it didn't stop me from enjoying it.  We kissed more
deeply, her mouth opening slightly to take my lower lip between
hers.  Following her lead, I started to kiss back, instead of
just receiving.  I was simply trying to duplicate what she had
been doing to me while my mind was racing to catch up.  Our
tongues began a gentle exploration of each other's mouths, moving
and drifting to our own rhythms.  Unfortunately, I was making it
up as I went along, not having any previous experience at it.
Things seemed to be proceeding fine, although I didn't really
have anything with which to compare it.  I raised my free hand
and reached across to stroke my fingertips along her face as we
kissed.  My other hand was pinned between us, tightly gripped by
hers.  I was rewarded by a small moan that escaped her lips while
my fingers moved along cheek and down her jaw.  Her arm snaked
back around my neck, pulling us tightly together while her mouth
began moving with more urgency.  Since my first attempt at trying
something new went so well, I decided to continue.  My hand
drifted back along her cheek, slowly dragging my fingertips along
her skin.  I slid it down along her neck, just brushing the
collar of her heavy sweatshirt and then back to the nape of her
neck.  Her long blond hair was pulled back into a ponytail,
exposing a soft crescent of skin.  It was one of the few areas on
my body that was ticklish and I hope that she was just as
sensitive. 

	She was.  I started kiss more softly, jumping from one
part of her mouth to another, brushing my lips along one corner,
then nibbling at her bottom lip.  Her breath began to come in
short gasps and her tongue flicked out, trying to anticipate
where my mouth would be next.  It was that night that I developed
a habit I doubt I'll ever break.  With very few exceptions, I
always kiss with my eyes open, watching how my partner reacts to
what I'm doing.  How else can I know whether or not I'm doing it
right?  From what I could see, I was.  Her eyes were tightly
closed, and when I pulled away slightly in order to move from
place to place, her lips stayed slightly parted, waiting for the
next touch of my mouth.

	We broke our clinch for a moment and I drew in a ragged
breath.  I knew that, traditionally, one is supposed to speak
eloquently about how wonderful the first kiss was, but I was in
no condition to form coherent words, much less a full sentence.

	"Mmmmm," she replied.  "I've been wanting to do that for
two weeks." 

"You're kidding!"  I couldn't believe that.  I was painfully
aware of exactly how charming I was, or more accurately, wasn't.
I had some difficulty imagining why someone as impressive as
Melissa would get this interested in me.  

	"Well, maybe a week and a half.  It was hard to know just
what you were like when you were sleeping fourteen hours a day."
She flashed a quick grin and gave me short kiss.  "And it was
worth it, sport." 

"But why -" Before I could finish the obvious question, we heard
a loud thump and a muffled groan floating out from my tent.  We
scrambled up and hurried to investigate. Tommy had tried to get
up to go to the bathroom and hadn't bothered with a flashlight.
The result was one skinned knee and a few tears.  It wasn't
anything serious but it did serve to bring Melissa and I back to
the real world.  While we were getting the kids settled back
down, our eyes met.  In unspoken agreement, we knew that things
had gone far enough for one night.  Maybe if we hadn't had 25
kids to worry about, things might have been different.  But, to
be completely truthful, I was just as happy that they weren't.
Being a virgin wasn't exactly like carrying around the Mark of
Cain, and I wanted to be much more certain about things than I
was before things went too much further.  Climbing into my cot, I
tried to sort out my feelings.  Melissa was everything I had ever
thought I would want in someone.  I should have been head over
heels in love with her.  But I wasn't.  That confused me more
than everything else did.  I liked her, a lot.  Of that, there
was no question.  I loved spending time with her, both working
with the kids and also any time we could snatch away from our
camp duties.  I had been attracted to her from the first time I
saw her and I lusted after her.  That, however, wasn't anything
new.  Nor was it a big deal, at least to me.  I had learned to
live with unrequited lust.  It helped keep me warm on all those
cold teenaged nights.  The age difference could have been part of
the problem, but I doubted it.  The realization that we were in
two different places in our lives was a rationalization, not a
reason.  Besides, I was a sucker for futile causes, and the idea
of pining away while she went back to college really wouldn't
have given me much of a pause.  These thoughts tumbled through my
mind for most of the night.  I finally dropped into a fitful
sleep a few hours before dawn.  


Chapter 4

	The morning itself brought a hectic rush to make sure
everyone was packed.  The kids were supposed to be picked up
during the morning leaving the counselors to our first free day
in two weeks.  There were a number of tearful good-byes among the
kids when the parents began arriving.  I remembered going through
the same thing myself.  The week had passed in a flash for me,
but when you're twelve years old, a week of summer camp can seem
to last as long as a month.  The little knots of campers
continued to dwindle as parents returned to pick up their
children until by 1:00 we waved as the last car passed down the
gravel driveway on its way home.  Sam and Lydia called us
together for an impromptu meeting.  They congratulated everyone
how well the first week had gone and reminded those of us who
weren't going to be spending our first night off in the dorm to
be back by 10:30 the next morning.  They dismissed us with a
smile and everyone seemed to scatter.  Because I had been a
little rushed that morning, I hadn't had time to gather my gear
together, it was still sitting in the tent, spread out all over
hell and gone.  By the time I got back from the dorm after the
long detour to the Bear campsite, almost everyone had already
left.  

	Paul was on his way out as I walked into the room and
dumped my gear at the foot of the bed.  He called a quick goodbye
and virtually ran out the door.  I smiled to myself and shook my
head.  Melissa had related to me that he and Jenny had some
rather significant plans for that night.  I doubted I'd see any
more of him for quite some time.  And he'd probably look just as
ragged greeting the new campers the next morning as he had the
week before.  It seemed as thought I was going to be spending a
quiet night alone.  The closest town was about 20 miles away, and
I knew I was going to have to make a quick run to the supermarket
there to pick up some supplies.  Getting away for the occasional
cigarette had proven as difficult as I had feared, so I still had
plenty of smokes, but unless I got some laundry detergent, I was
going to be a rather fragrant counselor next week.  Home was only
a couple of hours away, but it would have meant getting up at an
ungodly hour the next morning in order to drive back.  After a
week of being woken by adolescent boys who were entirely too
enthusiastic to GET UP and attack the day, the thought of being
able to sleep in won out over the temptation of a home cooked
meal.  I was still as confused as ever about last night.
Obviously, we hadn't had time to talk about what had happened,
the morning had been far to busy for that.  I realized with some
surprise that I didn't even know where she was going to be that
night.  We had talked about a great deal that week, but the
subject of Saturday night hadn't come up.  Then again, it hadn't
seemed terribly important to me, prior to the night before.  I
gathered up my wallet and headed outside.  As I stepped off the
porch, I saw her walking up the path from the mess hall.  She
waved and hurried her pace, breaking into a trot.  "Where are you
off to?" she inquired as she drew closer.  

	"I thought I'd run into town.  I need to pick up a few
things." 

"Great," Melissa exclaimed.  "Can you give me a ride?  Remember
you promised!  I need to run a few errands."

	"Sure, no problem," I agreed.  

	She hurried inside to get her purse while I waited on the
porch.  I lit a cigarette and thought about the situation.  I
hadn't come up with any answers by the time she returned.  She
had taken a moment to change, donning a casual short skirt and
blouse combination in place of the ragged work shirt and shorts
she had been wearing.  My eyes must have revealed my appreciation
of the outfit and she broke into a smile as she came outside.
She grabbed my hand as we walked up the hill to the parking lot.
To be completely accurate, it was just a section of the front
field that had been set aside for cars, but we all played along
and referred to it as a parking lot.   The car started right up,
much to my amazement.  It didn't look like much, but it was good
basic transportation for a high school student.  We were driving
down the main street of the small town within a half-hour.  We
stopped in at the supermarket, picking up the few things we
needed.  At one point we got separated and I spent five minutes
wandering the aisles before I found Melissa heading for the
checkout line.  A stop in at one of the gas stations that
clustered around the interstate exit ramps completed our mission.
We grabbed some dinner at the McDonalds across the road.  After
two weeks of camp food, we were both ready for a junk food
splurge.  The conversation had remained light, not touching on
what had happened the night before.  I knew, at some point, we'd
have to talk about it, but for that moment, I was just as happy
to leave it alone.  I was too much fun just being with her to
risk screwing it up with that discussion.  She seemed very
relaxed, talking about what was currently going on in the world,
jumping from one topic to another as we ate.  She wanted to know
which colleges I planned to apply to in the fall and what I
wanted to study.  I told her the truth; I simply didn't have any
idea what I wanted to major in.  Far too many things interested
me at that point.  I simply hadn't given the matter much thought.
The conversation soon moved on to high school in general.  By the
time we dumped our trays, we were deep into comparing the
expectations of college life with the realities.   On the way
home, she slid across the long bench seat to lean against me.  I
snaked my arm around her shoulders to the startled realization
that the afternoon had been the closest thing to a date that I
had ever experienced.  It knew that it wasn't exactly the same,
but it was close enough for me.  Feeling her long slim body up
against mine was wonderfully comfortable.  We rode in silence,
her head resting on my shoulder as we drove the winding back
roads to the camp.  All too soon, at least from my point of view,
the camp came into view, and I turned into the dusty driveway.  I
parked the car, and we carried our light loads down to the dorm.
Figuring that it wasn't going to be any more fun if I did it
later, I picked up my clothes and headed towards the laundry
room.  Fortunately, there weren't all that many and I was able to
use all three of the machines at once.  Melissa wandered in as I
was switching the sodden clothes from the washers to the dryers.


"Here you are!" She exclaimed when she saw me.  "I went into my
room to drop of my stuff and when I came back out you had
disappeared.  I thought you had gone back to the car for
something."

	"Sorry," I apologized.  

	"You should be," she retorted with a smile.  "I walked
the whole way up there on bare feet!"

	"Poor baby."  It was hard to sympathize.  The bottoms of
my feet were like leather, a legacy of my mother who never wore
shoes when she could get away with it.  She passed the tradition
on to me.  I had spent most of the previous week without shoes,
putting them on only to come to dinner or to take some of the
longer hikes through the rocky paths.

	"Smart ass," she accused.  She walked over to me as I
stood and wrapped her arms around me.  Pulling me tight, her lips
hungrily sought out mine.  Her hands moved up and down my back,
then I felt one move to my head and she intertwined her fingers
in my hair.  I moved my hands low on her sides, resting them in
the hollow where her hips started to flare out into her gorgeous
legs.  Staying with a proven winner, I fell back on the tricks I
had learned the night before, teasing her mouth with mine,
drawing her tongue deep into my mouth and then nipping back along
her bottom lip.  Within seconds I could feel breath coming in
quick gasps and hear the quiet little moans escaping her throat.
As this went on, we were both growing more and more excited.  I
could feel myself getting hard, my cock pinned between our bodies
as she ground her hips against me.  Her nipples were hard
buttons, pushing through the thin cloth of our shirts into my
chest.  And as incredible as it felt, I knew I was going to have
to stop it.  I had to know what was going on.  It was better that
I ruin things before they go too far than screwing them up later.
But, now or later, I was afraid ruining things was something I
couldn't avoid.  I slowed the tempo of our kisses, brushing my
lips over hers one last time before pulling my head back.  

	"Melissa," I began.

	"Yes, baby," she breathed against my cheek, "what is it?"


"There are a few things we've got to-" She interrupted me before
I could even start screwing things up.

	"Don't worry, baby, there's no one in the dorm, I checked
already." She paused and planted another deep kiss on me.  Her
kisses were almost enough to make me forget my worries and just
enjoy myself.  Almost.  

"That's not what I meant," pulling my mind back to the matters at
hand.  "I don't have a clue-" 

Again she interrupted me, saying, "I already took care of that.
Where do you think I was hiding at the market?   I've got them
back in my room.  Don't worry about it."

	My eyes bulged at this news.  I hadn't realized that she
had been planning things to that extent.  The idea sort of
frightened me.  It's one thing to have one's good sense overcome
in the heat of the moment, but to actually plan this... I didn't
even know how to refer to it in my mind.  A tryst?  An encounter?
A one night stand, with all that it entails?  I was fairly
certain that the last was simply my own mind running in gibbering
circles.  I'd gotten to know Melissa well enough over the last
week to realize she didn't do things like this casually.  But it
was now even more important to find out just what this was.  I
blew out an explosive breath, trying to get a grip on things.
She wasn't making it easier for me to gather my thoughts, her
head resting on my shoulder and nibbling at my neck.   I had to
get a little distance between us, or I was never going to get
through this.  I tightened my grip on her sides and lifted her up
to sit on the dryer.  She gasped at the unexpected movement.

	"Melissa, listen to me.  As wonderful as this is, I still
have some questions that I need answered before anything else
happens." A somewhat confused look came over her face.  

"What's wrong, don't you like this?"  She asked in a surprised
voice.  Her face fell and she lowered her head.  "But I thought.
I mean after last night..." I took her chin in my hand and raised
her face so I could look her in the eye.  

"Melissa, I don't like this.  I love what's happening.  But I
still need to know what in the hell is going on!" 

"I'm trying to get into your pants," she snapped angrily with her
eyes flashing in unexpected heat.  "Without much success so far."
She shifted her weight to slide off the dryer.  I kept my hands
on her hips, effectively pinning her in her seat.  

	"Thanks awfully, but I was able to figure that much out,"
I said dryly.  "That's not what I meant, what I meant was 'Why?'"

 "Because I like you, you dipshit!"  She had moved passed being
embarrassed and was on heating up to serious anger.  Being the
coward that I am, I leaned forward to place one of those thorough
kisses she had taught me about on her lips.  I wanted to stop her
from working up to the cussing out I probably deserved.  "Don't
do that," she said when we parted after a few moments.  Her soft
voice belied her angry words.  "That's cheating." 

	"And I like you too, Melissa.  Very, very much.  But you
have to understand.  I wasn't expecting this, any of this to
happen."  I looked around and drew in a deep ragged breath.  "I'm
not used to this," I finished quietly.

	"Well, I'm not used to this either," she snapped.  She
paused for a moment, seeming to gather her thoughts together.
"I've told you about Roger, right?"  I nodded.  Roger had been an
upperclassman when she was a freshman and she had fallen
desperately in love with him in her first weeks at school.  They
had spent a wonderful winter and spring together, but when it
came time to talk about visits during the summer, he had become
strangely reticent.  Within a couple of weeks they had broken up,
not all together amicably, I gathered from the way she referred
to him.  We had talked about it earlier in the week, in one of
our late night fireside conversations.  "What I didn't tell you,"
she continued, "was what it did to me.  I didn't sleep, I didn't
eat and I certainly didn't study.  I almost failed my finals
because of what a mess I was.  During the last two years I've
made sure, that I didn't end up in that situation again.  I
haven't been out on a date in two years, because I tried to stay
as far away from a relationship, any relationship, as I could."
Her face twisted into a grimace as she continued, "And anyway,
I'm not into the one night stand scene, which is all most of
those morons are looking for.

	"And then, in the last week and a half, I've gotten to
know you.  You're good, intelligent, sweet...  'Finally,' I
thought, 'someone I could spend some time with, someone who was
worth spending time with, someone who would actually talk to me,
not just try getting me into bed.'  And after last night, I
realized that I wanted to do more than spend time with you.  Last
night felt so good.  It's been two damned years, after all!  So
last night I lay in bed and figure out a plan to seduce you."
She jerked her head back and her eyes focused in on mine.  "And
now that it's been shot completely to hell, I'm going to go back
to my room."

	"Like hell," I muttered as I pulled her in close.
Everything she had taught me about kissing went into the kiss I
gave her at that moment.  Every ounce of feeling and energy I had
was wrapped up in it.   Once her breath started coming in those
familiar little gasps, I knew everything was going to be all
right.  She spread her legs and wrapped them around my back,
pulling me into her while her hands slipped up around my neck.  I
learned then just how easy it was to lose track of time in a kiss
like that.  When we finally broke free of each other's mouths, I
whispered in her ear, "You're not going anywhere without me.  Not
unless you can convince me that's what you truly want." I paused
for a few seconds.  "And it will take a lot of convincing after a
kiss like that!"

	She pulled her head back to look at me again.  "But I
thought...  You said..." The confused look was back on her face,
her eyes questioning me. 

	"I said, I needed to know why.  And now I know."  I
smiled at her and leaned in for another kiss.  It wasn't quite so
passionate as the last one, but it would do in a pinch.  "And
right now, I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing."

	"Then what was all that about?"  She really didn't
understand.  

"I told you I wasn't used to this.  I've never done this before,"
I said quietly.  

	"Well, I've never done this before.  I've always gone out
with guys before I ended up in bed with them.  It's not as if-"  

"That's not exactly what I meant."

	"Oh my God.  You mean...?" She trailed off as I nodded my
head.  

"Surprise," I said with sardonic amusement.  "I've never even had
a girlfriend," I added ruefully.  "Now do you understand why I
was so confused?  What in God's name would you, of all people,
want with a high school virgin?"

	"And you still stopped me to make sure about what was
going on?"  She was absolutely stunned. 

	"We're going to be working together, rather closely for
the next few weeks at a minimum.  I figured it was better to ruin
the chance to be with you this way, than to go ahead and take the
risk of ruining that."

	"Jesus, you're something else.  If you were only a couple
of years older," she said wistfully, "I could really fall for
you, you know that?"  

	"Trust me, I know the feeling," I muttered as I moved in
for another kiss.  The grip of her legs around my waist hadn't
loosened appreciably while we talked, but now it grew even
tighter.  As our mouths danced together, she pulled herself to me
tightly, grinding her hips into me.  The tumbling of the dryer
added an interesting vibration to the exercise, one I could
definitely appreciate.  I felt much better about the whole
situation.  Maybe it was the age difference that was holding me
back from flinging myself headfirst into falling in love.  But,
by now, I was far beyond the point of caring.  Glancing out the
window, I was almost surprised to see that it was still light
out.  We had gotten back around six, and it had been less than an
hour since I had walked in here ostensibly to take care of my
laundry.  If I had known that it was going to turn out this way,
I probably would have done laundry every day for the last week.
Looking at the sky, I realized that we would probably have a
couple of hours alone, anyone came back for the night.  Besides,
I wasn't all that sure I cared if they showed up early or not.  I
kissed my way down her chin and along the side of her neck.  Her
skin was smooth and silky as I brushed my lips down to the hollow
in her throat.  Her legs relaxed slightly and my hands slid down
over her things.  The skirt she was wearing had ridden up, and
looking down I saw a thin strip of white covering her mound.  I
slowly slid my body down through her legs, mouthing her nipples
through the thin covering of her blouse on my way.  Kneeling
between her legs, I dragged my lightly tongue up and down each
leg in turn, eliciting a shiver that I could feel run through her
body.  I may not have ever been here before, but I did have some
idea of what I was supposed to do.  My heart was bounding in my
chest and my head seemed to want to abandon my body and float
away on its own.  Leaning forward slightly I licked quickly at
the thin band of silk in front of me.  She had already soaked
through her panties and I savored my first taste of her.  A deep
guttural moan from above told me that I wasn't doing to badly so
far.  My tongue moved more insistently against the soft flesh
behind the silk covering.  I could feel her clit, hard and
inflamed, standing out from the yielding lips surrounding it.
Rolling her hips toward me, Melissa arched her back, forcing her
clit against my mouth in the process.  Using my own lips, I
traced the folds and curves of her pussy through the thin fabric
that was rapidly becoming translucent from a combination of what
I was doing and the effect of what I was doing.

	'So this was what it was all about,' I thought to myself.
Being able to do something so enjoyable and to get responses like
this had definitely modified the ideas I had about sex.  I was
sure the physical sensations would live up to their reputation,
but this was completely unexpected.  I was enough of a control
freak to admit to myself that holding this power was a huge turn
on.  Burying my face into her pussy with abandon, I wondered
distantly what other surprises there were in store for me.  I
couldn't wait to find out.  I felt one of her hands at the back
of my head, pushing me against with great insistence.  Raising
eyes to look at her I saw her head thrown back, with her eyes
closed.  She was mumbling something under her breath, but with
her legs locked around me I couldn't make out what she was
saying.  I was pretty sure it wasn't anything intelligible in any
case.  My mouth was locked around her, all traces of subtlety
thrown to the wayside.  My hands spreading her legs further
apart, I ground my face into her, trying to force my tongue
through the thin barrier that separated us.  

	Slowly, the rhythmic movement of her hips ground to a
halt, she pushed her body forward, balancing on her hands and
lifting herself up off the dryer.  I looked up, worried that
something was wrong.    Her legs were thrust straight out behind
me and it seemed as though every muscle in her body was
contracting at once.  Her voice grew louder, but I still I
couldn't understand what she was saying.  Somehow, I doubted that
it really mattered.  

	A tremor ran through her body as she hung suspended on my
shoulders and her arms.  Her voice dissolved into moans, growing
louder as her body began to jerk and twist in what I hoped was an
orgasm.  Everything was new to me.  It was one thing to watch
porn actresses on a tape, it was quite another to experience it
in real life, knowing that you were causing it.  I redoubled my
efforts, burrowing my tongue even deeper into her pussy, trying
to draw out and extend her reactions.  

	"Yes, god... Yes.  Oh please, keep going, just like that.
Just like that, just like that, just like that..." For the first
time I could actually hear something coherent.  Her voice was
vague and unfocused, but the desire was obvious.  Her pleading
trailed off into another series of moans that again grew louder
as I continued.  Eventually the moans reached a frenzy as she
pushed and forced her body into my mouth, trying to extract the
last traces of sensation.  A huge shudder ran through the length
of her body and she collapsed back onto the dryer.  

	Her breath came in quick little gasps, trying to recover.
As she gathered herself and basked in the glow, I kept my mouth
busy, covering her silk clad pussy with long light strokes of my
tongue.  "Mmmmmm," she groaned, seeming quite pleased.  "You
lied," she accused, looking down and me.

	I quirked my brows quizzically, since I didn't
particularly feel like stopping to ask what she was talking
about.  "You said you'd never done this before, you had to!" I
shook my head, which must have caused a rather interesting
sensation, judging by her reaction.  

	"Ohhhh...  God..." Sighing deeply, she continued, "If
you're telling the truth, where in the hell did you learn how to
do that?" I shrugged.  

Tearing my mouth away, I rested my head on her mons and answered.
"Just because I'm a virgin, doesn't mean that I don't have some
clue of what's supposed to happen.  I've seen enough bad porn
movies and read enough bad stories to at least figure that much
out.  I'm not completely stupid, you know," I finished
virtuously.  

"I've noticed that, from time to time," she said laughing.  "Come
up here." She reached down to pull me up again.  She pulled
herself upright, flowing into my arms as I stood up.  She wasted
no time, bringing her face close and driving her mouth against
mine.  Our tongues danced and fenced with each other's, playing
at the entrance of our mouths and then driving deep.  

	"Now what?"  I asked her.

	She looked at me in amazement, "I thought that would have
been obvious!"  She broke into giggles for a moment.  "There's no
way you're getting away without finishing what you started." 

"Um, that's not exactly what I meant.  Let me try again; where,
when, and most importantly how long?"

	"Hmm, wherever, soon, and all night, if we can manage.
Does that clear things up for you, sport?"

	"Not particularly, no," I said dryly.  She was looking at
me, her eyes dancing with amusement.  She was starting to enjoy
my discomfort just a little too much.  I leaned forward to kiss
her, hard.  It took her mind off my confused ramblings.  At least
for a moment or two.  She moaned in disappointment when I pulled
away, but first things first.  "I meant, are we going to stay in
the dorm tonight?  I don't know about you, but I'm not thrilled
with the idea of people starting to wander in while we're in the
middle of something." 

"What's the matter, ashamed of me?"  She teased.  "Hardly.  But
how do you think Sam or Lydia or one of the temps would react?
We are supposed to be working together, not sleeping together," I
reminded her.

	"I know, I know.  I've been thinking about it, because I
do want to stay with you tonight." She paused and then continued
on hesitantly.  "I don't want to just fuck and then go on our
merry way.  I told you, I'm not into one-night stands."

	"How about a three month stand?"  I asked quietly.  

"What?"  I think I finally managed to surprise her.  "What are
you talking about?"

	"Well, I'm going to be here the rest of the summer, and I
couldn't help but notice that you are going to be here for the
rest of the summer.  And it does look like we're going to be
working together for the foreseeable future.  At least the next
three weeks, that is.  And, well, it just seemed like a good
idea."

	She peered into my face, rather intently and her face
took on a strange expression.  "Dave," she asked, "are you in
love with me?" I knew that the answer was very important and I
had to be completely truthful, and very careful.  

"No, I don't think so actually.  I think I could fall in love
with you, very easily, but I'm not.  I was thinking about it last
night, actually."  I paused for a moment, trying to find the
right words to express what I was feeling.  "It's not the age
difference, believe it or not.  Four years isn't that much.
It's..." I was grasping for something.  "It's the fact that, no
matter how I might feel, it's not the right time, for either of
us, to have this kind of relationship.  I knew that even before
you told me.  And there are other reasons..." I trailed off.

	"There's someone else, isn't there?"

	"Yes and no.  Not exactly.  There might be someone, but
it's a very weird situation."  I thought it over, and decided
that Melissa deserved to know the truth of the matter.  "She's
just someone at school.  It's one of those 'worship from afar'
things.  And to make things even more fun, she's in love with my
best friend."  I laughed an unhappy laugh.  "If we threw in a few
blind old women, we'd have the perfect Greek tragedy.

	"But none of that really matters, and I know it.  I'm not
in love with you, at least at the moment.  If you're still single
after next year, I'll probably have to rethink things, though," I
added slyly.  She smiled and kissed me thoroughly.  Apparently I
had passed the test, thankfully.  The kiss quickly became serious
with Melissa trying to wrap herself around my body.  I snaked my
arms around her and squeezed her tight.  I may not, in fact, be
in love with her, but I knew that having her in my arms was a
feeling I could easily become used to.  

	"We're getting off the subject again," she murmured after
a little more time had passed rather pleasantly.  "How are we
going to do this?"

	"Well," I started, thinking quickly, "There's one option
we might want to look at.  We could spend the night down at the
campsite."  It was remote, and without any kids in the camp, it
was doubtful that anyone would be roaming around late at night.
More importantly, to me at least, we would have the opportunity
to spend the night together without any worries about having
about being interrupted.  She thought it over, and a smile spread
across her face.  "Do you think we could fit two of those bunks
side by side in those tents?" She asked with a twinkle in her
eyes.  

	"Oh, I'm pretty sure that we could figure something out,"
I laughed in return.  

	She turned, cast a glance at the dryers, and then looked
at me with a speculative look in her eye.  "Do you want to wait
for your clothes, we can take them down with us."

	"It would save a trip tomorrow morning," I admitted.
"And I think I know of a way to pass the time."  Kissing seemed
to be the traditional way to start things off, and who was I to
argue with traditions?  Her lips were soft and sensuous, yielding
and active against my mouth.  Emboldened by what had gone before,
my hands ranged over her body, cupping her small firm breasts and
using my fingertips to tease her nipples through her blouse and
thin bra.  I busied myself, undoing each button down the front of
her blouse, following my hand with my lips, brushing across the
skin of her chest and kissing the top of each breast as it
swelled over her small lace bra.  I had some trouble with the
bra.  It was the first one I'd ever been confronted with and the
front snap stymied me for a few seconds.  I eventually got it
figured out, slipping the clasp open to reveal two small but
perfect tits.  They were absolutely beautiful, sitting high on
her ribcage and topped by hard, rose colored nipples.  I cupped
them again, this time without coming between us.  I used my
thumbs to rub against those nipples, feeling them crinkle up and
grow even more erect under my touch.  Her hands dropped down from
my shoulder to cover mine, squeezing them closed.  A small moan
escaped her mouth as I gripped her tits more firmly.  Her hands
slid up my arms and around my neck, guiding my mouth to each
nipple in turn.  I sucked and licked each of them and discovered
that if I dragged my teeth over them gently, I could produce a
shiver and moan of satisfaction each time.  She pressed my face
against her tit, trying, it seemed, to force as much of her into
my mouth as she possibly could.  I opened my mouth as wide as
possible, circling her nipple and flicking my tongue over it in
feather touches.  She arched her back even further, moaning in
frustration, trying to force me to suck it up into my mouth.
Instead, I moved to her other breast and gave it the same
treatment.  

After several minutes, she was literally whimpering, "Please,
David.  Please suck it.  Oh God, baby, please, use your mouth."
I finally relented, sucking in as much as I possibly could up
into my mouth and using my tongue on her nipple at the same time.
"Oh, yes, yes, Oh God yes.  Oh, that's better.  Mmmm, thank you,
baby, thank you."  After repeating on her other nipple, I moved
lower, licking the underside of her tits, moving back and forth
from one to another trying to cover every square inch I could,
without allowing my movements to fall into a predictable rhythm.
I moved my hand between our bodies and slid it down, covering her
mound with it.  Pushing and rubbing back and forth, I could feel
the warm wetness that we had produced earlier, making her panties
a sodden mess.  Dropping down to my knees once again, I reached
up to slip my hands through the waistband of her underwear,
pulling them down her long slim legs.  She quickly raised her ass
up off the dryer, helping me to get rid of them as quickly as
possible.  I dropped the soaking panties into the open duffel bag
sitting beside me, not wanting to forget them and leave any
evidence behind.  Her skirt was pushed up over her hips, and she
spread her legs as I leaned forward.  For the first time, I was
able actually to see what I had tasted.  

Her pubic hair was as light as the hair on her head.  It was
closely trimmed, a narrow blond 'v' that started from just above
her clit.  My mouth closed over her bare mound drawing her up
into my mouth.  The lips of her pussy were very full-fleshed and
pouty, but incredibly soft.  As soon as my lips touched her, it
felt as if an electric current had shot through my body.  She
moaned and thrashed about above me sliding forward until she was
seated on the very edge of the dryer.  I looked up to watch her,
while my mouth continued its exploration.  Her bra kept getting
in her way and she was getting more exasperated by the moment.
Eventually, she let loose a curse under her breath and slipped
the blouse of her shoulders and quickly removed the offending
item. It soon joined her panties, wadded up and dropped in the
duffel bag.  She slipped the blouse back over her shoulder, just
in case.   I pulled my mouth back an inch, allowing the tip just
my tongue to slide over the supple lips of her pussy.  Melissa
raised her legs, which had been draped over my shoulders, and
placed her feet astride my neck.  Spreading them even wider, she
leaned forward, balanced precariously upright.  By contorting my
neck just so, I could raise my eyebrows and catch glimpses of her
as I licked and sucked her soft tender pussy.  Her head was
bowed, looking down at me with unfocused eyes while her hands
cupped her tits, rolling the nipples between her fingers.  Her
change in position made it easier to pay attention to her clit
than anywhere else, so I did.  Far smaller than anything I'd ever
seen on the grainy and poorly lit porn movies I'd seen so far, it
was tiny.  But it also seemed to be exquisitely sensitive.  The
lightest touch of my tongue or lips seemed to send jolts of
pleasure through her body, causing her to jerk her body in shock
each time my tongue moved.  Each spasm was accompanied by an
abortive moan that seemed to be ripped out of her from somewhere
deep inside.  I buried my mouth over her mound sucking in as much
as I could.  The clitoral hood surrounding that hard little
button was fleshy and as soft as foam.  I rolled the delectable
morsel in my mouth, sliding my tongue back and forth across the
tender surfaces.  When it slid back out, my teeth accidentally
brushed against her erect clit, causing a startled exclamation
from Melissa.  I looked up, questioning.  I was afraid I had done
something wrong.

	"Oh God," she gasped.  "Do that again!"

	As if I would ever refuse such a plaintive request from a
lady.  Keeping my jaws slightly separated; I inhaled her clit
into my mouth, causing my teeth to drag along both top and
bottom.  Apparently, it was close enough, causing her to go wild.
Her hips started to buck in fits and starts, trying to mash her
pussy against my face.  She threw her head back and moaned, a
long rising note that climbed into the upper registers. I noticed
her fingers were not simply rolling her nipples any longer.  She
was actually pinching and twisting them, her fingers pulling on
them until they looked distended.  She came with very little
warning.  Suddenly her hands were at the back of my head once
again forcing my mouth forward against her.  The movement of her
hips shifted into high gear, moving faster and faster which made
it difficult to keep my mouth on her clit.  I took it in between
my teeth, not biting but simply holding it still.  I flicked over
it with my tongue, alternating quick light touches with long slow
strokes that pressed it against my teeth.  

	Her moans changed pitch and became actual shrieks of
incoherent pleasure while her body moved faster and faster,
finally reaching a crescendo together.  She suddenly became very
still, the muscles of her body tight with concentration.  Her
moans had trailed off into silence broken only by the quick gasps
of her breath.  She held absolutely still while I continued to
draw her clit in and out of my mouth, through my teeth each time.
After only a few seconds her voice seemed to reassert itself and
she uttered a series of high pitched noises with each sharp
intake of breath.  Her body softened suddenly and a low moan
escaped her lips. 

	"That's enough," she said weakly, her hands on my
shoulders for support.  I could feel her legs shaking where they
rested on my shoulders next to her hands.  She was leaning
forward, barely able to support herself for the moment.  I
lavished a few long, soft strokes of my tongue over her engorged
pussy, savoring the subtle changes in her flavor after her
orgasm.  After all, isn't a cool-down period advised after
exercise?  Each stroke seemed to cause a small shiver to run
through her.  I didn't want to push my luck, so I slowed to a
stop and looked up at her with an incredibly self-satisfied smile
splitting my face from ear to ear.  The dryers had finished
spinning at some point while we had been distracted and I was
suddenly aware of how quiet the room was. 

	"So, how'd I do for my first time, coach?"  I asked a
little impudently.  

	She opened her eyes and looked down at me with a wan
little smile.  "Well, sport, it certainly looks as thought you've
got some native talent there."

	I slipped her legs off my shoulders and stood up for
another one of those stellar kisses.  After the kiss she slipped
down off the dryer and ran her fingers through her hair, which
was in complete disarray.  I picked up the duffel bag and went
down the line of dryers, tossing the warm clothes in.  I probably
should have asked if she wanted her panties and bra, but I didn't
really care at that point and the idea of her walking through the
camp in that condition excited me even more.  I was still new to
everything that was going on, and the little things can be quite
interesting at that point.  By the time the duffel bag was slung
over my shoulder, she had already made herself 'presentable' and
was ready to go.  We embraced for a quick kiss before showing
ourselves to the outside world.


Chapter 5

	We stopped briefly in our rooms to make sure we had
everything we would need, not only for our night together but
also for the week's work together.  Satisfied, we walked out the
dorm on our way to the tents.  It was the gloaming, after the sun
had set and while there is still enough light from the sky to see
the colors start to blend together, ending up as a muted
monochrome.  The camp still seemed to be deserted as we made our
way down the path past the mess hall.  The Camp Administrator's
cabin was situated just off the path, and I could see from the
lights on the front porch that Sam and Lydia, at least, were
probably still around.  As we walked, Melissa slipped her arm
around my waist, almost knocking the back from my shoulder.
Readjusting the weight, I wrapped her in my free arm, my hand
resting on her hip as we walked. I could feel the smooth flexing
of her muscles under my palm with each step she took.  Although I
knew I probably shouldn't but there was no way I could resist and
we were screened from any prying eyes by the lush undergrowth. I
decided to hell with it, and dropped my hand down under the hem
of her skirt, caressing the smooth skin of her ass.  

	My touch startled her and she let out a little gasp of
surprise and almost lost her step.  She adjusted quickly though.
"Mmmmm," she murmured, tilting her hips and pressing back against
my hand.  Her ass was firm and supple, barely yielding as my
hands ranged over it.  After walking for several minutes, I cast
a quick look over my shoulder.  Even if there was someone
wandering around, the path had a number of twists and turns and
we were well past the buildings of the camp.  I took a breath,
trusted my luck and slipped my hand lower, sliding my finger
between her thighs to tickle her still wet pussy. 

 "Uungh," she moaned deeply and leaned against me, off balance.
"Oh, god.  You're cheating again."  We stuttered to a halt,
standing in the middle of the path.  She didn't really seem to
mind that much.  Her hand dug into my side as fingers continued
to trace the folds of her slit lightly.  Her hand closed in
reaction where it rested on my side.  She had surprisingly strong
hands, and the extra flesh I tended to accumulate there served as
an excellent handle.  I pushed my fingers between her lips,
touching lightly on the entrance to her cunt with my middle
finger.  She moaned again, then pulled away from me with a jerk.
I was terrified.  I thought that perhaps I had overstepped some
unspoken boundary and look at her with more than a little
trepidation in my eyes.

	I shouldn't have worried.  Grabbing my hand, she pulled
me towards the woods the side of the path.  In the hustle, I
dropped the bag from my shoulder.  When I slowed to pick it up,
she yanked on my hand, urging me along.  "It's not going to go
anywhere, Dave.  It will be there when were done," she said
breathlessly, dropping her small bundle on top.  I shrugged to
myself.  If she wasn't going to worry about it, neither was I.
She led me along, seeming to be looking for something as we
walked, until, several yards off the trail she found what she
wanted.  

	Want she wanted, apparently was a large tree, almost a
foot and a half in diameter.  She leaned back against it and drew
me to her.  It was very dark underneath the canopy of leaves, but
I could make out a feverish gleam in her eyes.  Crushing her lips
to mine, she drove her tongue deep into my mouth.  When I
responded similarly, it seemed as though she was trying to rip
mine out by the root.  I lowered my hand between her leg to
resume my explorations.  Pulling her mouth away she said, "No,
not like that baby.  Like before."  With that she drifted her
lips across mine again, and with a mysterious smile, turned to
face the tree.  She put her arms out to steady her and bent over
at the waist.  I stood next to her, one hand reaching under her
shirt to cup her tits.  My other hand slid down the curve of her
ass, sliding slowly across to slip between her legs.  I slid my
finger between her lips, drawing a deep furrow in her flesh.
"Oh, yes," she almost whispered.  "Just like that, put it in me,
baby... I need it in me."  She seemed to be making an effort to
be a little quieter now.  It rapidly growing dark, even out on
the path, and the underbrush completely blocked anyone from
possibly catching an accidental glimpse from walking by, but a
shriek of pleasure could definitely give us away in the unlikely
event that someone was out and about.  

	Using my other fingers, I slowly spread her lips, pushing
them back to expose the actual opening of her pussy to my
searching finger.  I eased my middle finger inside, slowly
pressing into the warm wet entrance.  She was having none of it.
She arched her back, thrusting her hips into my hand and forcing
my finger deep inside.  As the palm of my hand pressed into her
ass, she actually purred in satisfaction.

	The feeling was incredible.  It was hot and wet and
engulfed my finger, pressing in upon it on all sides.  The walls
of her cunt were smooth and slick as I slid it in and out.
Instead of the deep throated moaning I had become used to,
Melissa pursed her lips together and whimpered in pleasure as I
thrust deeply in and out with my finger.  I could feel her
wetness running down my finger, slowly spreading out and
moistening the back of my hand.  I was jerked from my reverie by
her hand, coming down off the trunk of the tree and grabbing a
hold of mine.  She took it and placed it over her breast,
pressing up strongly and grinding it into her body through her
blouse.  I may be new at this, but I can take a hint as well as
the next guy.  Probably better, in fact.  I remembered how she
had worked over her nipples when I had gone down on her in the
laundry room, and did what I could to emulate what I had seen.  I
played my fingers over her nipple, rubbing with my thumb, then
taking it between two fingers, squeezing and twisting gently.  I
moved my hand back and forth between each of her tits, playing
with one for a few minutes before turning my attention back to
the other.  With her arms raised over her head to help support
her against the tree, her breasts were pulled taunt, smooth firm
mounds of flesh pressing out through the silky fabric.  My other
hand was still busy between her legs.  I slid my finger out until
only the very tip remained inside her, holding it there for a few
seconds before slowly pushing it back in, repeating it again and
again, moving faster each time.  Soon my hand was actually making
'slapping' noises and I pumped in and out of her slit.  Within a
few moments, it was obvious, even to me, that she was quickly
approaching another orgasm.  It didn't seem quite as intense as
her previous examples, but when her hips started to buck in that
almost familiar rhythmic motion, pushing back to meet my hand on
each thrust, even I knew it happening.  I looked towards her face
and saw she had sucked her lower lip into her mouth, gripping it
with her teeth in an effort to keep herself quiet even at the
height of orgasm.  Her trembling slowly eased as I slipped my
finger out of her, cupping her mound gently with my hand.  As she
pushed herself up from the tree, she stretched languorously,
raising her hands high over her head and working the tightness
out of the muscles in her back.  Standing, she turned so that we
stood back to front, and reached back with both hands she caught
my head and pulled me tight up against her.  I reached around to
her front, running my hands up and down, flat against the curves
of her body.  She turned her head to kiss me, a slow gentle kiss
without demands.  

	"Thank you, baby," she said with our lips on an inch
apart.  "I really needed that."

	"Glad I could lend a hand."  She rolled her eyes at this
incredibly obvious pun.  "I told you I was new at this.  I can't
be good at everything."

	She broke up laughing.  It felt very good, very
comfortable, standing there.  I was incredibly turned on, looking
forward to the rest of our night together, but at the same time I
was also strangely content.  If nothing else happened tonight,
I'd be satisfied.  At that point, I learned what sex was all
about.  At least to me.  I knew that actually having sex would be
incredible, far outstripping masturbation.  But at the same time,
I had had orgasms before.  They would probably be better,
stronger and more intense, but they would still be orgasms.  But
this, this was something completely different.  To be with
someone, and feel her orgasm and knowing that I was the one who
was causing it.  That was mind-shattering, if only for the fact
that I had never suspected it.  Orgasms were fun, they were nice
and they were enjoyable.  But this was heady wine, indeed.  The
feelings of power, the ability to affect someone on a level this
deep, combined with the enjoyment I felt from being with Melissa
were threatening to overwhelm me.

	"I'm sorry, honey, what did you say?"  I had completely
missed what she had said to me, lost in the new discovery.  She
giggled.  "I'm the one that just came, you shouldn't be floating
out in la-la land, it should be me!"

	I grinned and kissed her again.  "My apologies.  I'll try
to be more attentive from now on."

	"Oh no!  If you get any more 'attentive' I'm going to
pass out!" 

"You say that as if it's a bad thing."  I slid my hands low and
began to lightly tease her pussy in response to the idea.  

"Mmmm," she answered, grinding her ass back against me.  My cock,
which had been hard for most of the night, answered the call once
more and sprang to attention.  Nestled it in the hollow between
her cheeks and started moving to the same rhythm.  After only a
few seconds, however, she gave a little toss of her head and
pulled away.  "C'mon, if we don't get moving we're never going to
get to there."  Grabbing my hand once more, she led me back
through the darkness to the path.  We hadn't spent more than 15
minutes in our little wilderness tryst, but the transition from
dusk to dark is quick, particularly deep in the forest.  I
grabbed the bag we had left at the edge of the woods, and we made
our way down the path in good order.  We had walked the path
several times a day, and night, for the last week, so we didn't
fumble around much, and since we didn't have to ride herd on a
group of sixth graders, we made it in five minutes, instead of
the normal 15.  

	There was a moment of confusion when we arrived at the
campsite.  We had decided to spend the night in 'the tent' and
each of us naturally assumed that we would be sleeping in the
same tent we had been for the past week.  We laughed and I dumped
my bag in 'my' tent, exchanging it for my sleeping bag.  I
hurried across to join her in the girls' tent.  She already had
the lantern lit and had begun arranging the beds.  Another five
minutes and we had two bunks pushed together near the front of
the tent, but we found to our disappointment that the wire
springs and steel frames didn't leave a very comfortable surface.
We dithered for a moment, and then Melissa came up with the idea
of overlapping the extra mattresses on top of the frame.  It
wasn't perfect, but it was infinitely better than what we had.
We quickly spread the sleeping bags open and everything seemed
ready.  All of a sudden, I was nervous.  Fortunately for me,
Melissa wasn't, or at least she didn't show it.   She pushed me
down to sit on the edge of the bed, then climbed on top of me,
straddling my legs.  Leaning forward, she took my face in her
hands and kissed me soundly.  A kiss like that can do wonderful
things and it managed to banish any nervousness without a
backward glance.  My hands slid along her legs, moving back to
hold the globes of her ass.  I gently squeezed, pushing her soft
mound into me.  She quickly unbuttoned her shirt, shrugging it
off without her lips ever leaving mine.  Reaching down, the side
buttons on her skirt were quickly unfastened and it joined her
shirt, lying empty on the floor.  For the first time I could
actually see her, all of her; and the view was absolutely
magnificent.  I'd seen the various parts already, but the simple
fact that she was actually naked made all the difference.  Her
fingers didn't rest, after disposing of her clothes she quickly
went to work on mine, almost ripping my shirt over my head.
Climbing off me, she pulled me up to stand with her, her hands
working feverishly to open my shorts slide them down my legs.  I
kicked them off my feet, quickly followed by my underwear.  As
soon as they were gone, Melissa slid up against me again,
pressing her body to mine from forehead to feet, or as close as
we could get.  And it was wonderful.  All that exposed skin
against all my exposed skin; my body felt as if it was on fire
where we touched.  I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her
down with me onto the heavily cushioned bed.  We scrambled around
a little, getting comfortable until we were lying, side by side
on the bed facing each other.  Propping my head up with one hand,
I looked at her in the glow of the lantern.  She was incredible.
Her bright lively eyes were gleaming in the light, and the warm
glow lit up her skin like a halo.  I reached out and trailed my
fingers along her body from just under her arm down as far as I
could reach.  I could feel the shiver follow my fingers down. 

	In turn, she reached down and wrapped her fingers around
my cock, causing me to jump from the shock of the contact.  She
pulled herself closer which trapped both her hand and my cock
between our bodies.  Moving my hand across her back, I slid it
down between her legs and began to massage the warm wet folds of
her pussy.  After a few moments, our hands growing more and more
insistent, she sat up with a start.  Leaning across me, she
reached over the side of the bed.  I could feel the firm bulges
of her breasts pressing into my stomach.  I ran my hands over her
back while she busied herself rummaging through something on the
floor.  

	"Got it," she muttered.  Rolling back over top of me, she
kissed me again in passing.  In her hand was the glistening form
of a condom.  She quickly unrolled it over my erection, with only
minor fumbling around.  The lube covering the rubber was a little
cold, but it didn't last long.  Hastily she gave it a few quick
strokes with her hand, making sure it wasn't going to go soft
without any warning.  Not bloody likely.  She clambered atop me,
and while looking down into my face, slowly lowered herself over
top of my cock.  At that point, I became very grateful for the
rubber.  Without it, I would have cum in a matter of seconds from
the feeling that engulfed me.  I had come close enough to
spontaneous combustion earlier, but was able to hold off because
I was too fascinated with what I was doing to her.  This was
completely different.  Without that little sheath protecting me,
our lovemaking would have turned into one of the more painful
clichés about first encounters.  And I would have been absolutely
mortified.  As it was, I was worried.  I knew I wouldn't be able
to last very long at all.  The sensations, both physical and
emotional, were contriving to make my first actual experience a
short one.  I just hoped I'd be able to hold on long enough to
keep from disappointing her.  At that point, however, she
certainly didn't seem to be disappointed.  She had her legs
spread wide and was rhythmically rolling her pelvis back and
forth, not only forcing me deep up inside her but also grinding
her clit against my crotch at each apex.  As she was sitting
upright, I was able to reach up and pull her nipples between
thumb and forefinger, pinching and rolling them around as she
continued her gyrations.  

	"Oh, yes..." She wasn't moaning anymore.  Her noises
could only be described as quite screams.  Sharp and piercing,
they weren't all that loud, at least not yet they weren't.  I
started to rock my hips along with hers, timing it so I pushed up
each time she rolled forward.  Her slow thrusts quickly increased
pace, they moved faster and faster, grinding against me with
greater abandon than the one before.  Suddenly I realized that I
was going to cum, and it was going to happen soon.  The familiar
feeling started, by balls feeling as if they were contracting and
trying to draw themselves up into my stomach.  I grunted a
warning as my hands flew from her nipples to her hips and I began
pumping in and out of my own volition.  I seemed to be lifting
her almost completely off me with each thrust, then pulling her
back down with my hands.  It seemed just the trick to push her
over the edge as well.  With shuddering groans we moved against
each other, completely lost in the sensations we were causing.
Within seconds I could feel myself exploding, and it seemed to go
on much longer than anything I had ever experienced by myself.  I
fell back on the bed, completely spent.  My legs were trembling,
along with most of the rest of my body.  With a rippling moan,
Melissa collapsed down atop me, limp.  I couldn't speak quite
yet, so I contented myself with wrapping her up in my weak
embrace.  

After a few moments of recuperating, I finally gathered enough
strength to whisper into her ear.  "Sorry about that, love.  I
hoped to last a little longer."  I paused for a few seconds,
hoping for a response, but she remained silent.  "And thank you,
very, very much." I kissed the top of her head affectionately.
It was the only place I could reach without moving, and I wasn't
nearly ready to move.  After several more seconds of silence, she
finally began to stir.

	With a long-suffering groan, she lifted her head to look
at me.

	"Sorry?  Thank you?  Sport, what the hell are you talking
about?" 

"Well," I began uncertainly, "the thank you should be fairly
obvious, shouldn't it?  And the 'sorry' was for... Well, I just
thought that maybe it was over a little umm, quick.  I didn't
want you to be too disappointed."

	Her eyes widened and she dropped her head, burying her
face in my shoulder.  Her body started to shake, but I had no
idea if she was laughing or crying.  When she raised her face, it
seemed like a little of both.  "You idiot," she said with a
smile.  "What the hell were you expecting?  Were you going to
just go and go and go and go until you decided that we'd had
enough?"

	"Well...."

	"Oh god, you did, didn't you?"  She buried her head in my
chest and dissolved into laughter.

	Apparently my ideas about sex had been a little too
influenced by those bad porn movies and cheap 'Dear Penthouse, I
never thought this could happen to me' letters and not enough by
reality. .  It's not that I thought of them as realistic
depiction's, I somehow doubted that most wives would react to
finding her husband in bed with her best friend by saying 'Move
over, dear, I've always wanted a piece of Mary's ass myself.'
But, at the same time, the idea that 'if they could stay hard for
as long as needed and cum on command, why couldn't I' had
insinuated itself into my head at some point?  Now that she
mentioned it, it did seem just a tad naïve.  I suppose it's one
of my failings, if I can visualize it, I figure I should simply
be able to do it.  There's an annoying tendency to overlook the
niggling details of reality.  

"So I didn't do too badly, then?" I asked hesitantly.  

"You putz," she said softly.  She could tell that it was
important to me.  Not that she tell me that I was the best lover
she'd ever had, but simply that I had managed to give back a
small portion of the pleasure she had given me.  "This is one of
the best nights I've ever had.  Is that good enough for you?"

	"Just fine," I said, immensely relieved.  I had slowly
grown soft as we talked and with her shifting around, I slid out
of her with an audible 'plop.'  We got up long enough to clean
ourselves up a little and to turn out the lantern and thankfully,
Melissa remembered to set her little travel alarm clock, just in
case.  The reaction, if someone was forced to come hunting for us
the next morning, wasn't worth contemplating.  With everything
that had gone on, we were both exhausted and were soon asleep in
each other's arms.  


Chapter 6

	That night changed everything, and nothing, between us.
We grew closer together, both as friends and lovers.  We learned
about each other's bodies and reactions, each Saturday night a
new voyage of discovery about what worked and what didn't.  In
spite of her aggressive pursuit of me, something I still could
not fathom, Melissa didn't have a great deal more experience than
I did.  There had been her relationship with Roger, of course,
and a guy in high school, but she didn't offer many details about
him, and I didn't press.  From what she did say, however, I could
figure out for myself that it hadn't been a pleasant way to lose
her virginity.  

The summer went on, and we went with it.  Although we didn't
always work together at the same camp, there were always a few
opportunities to be together for a few stolen moments during the
week.  Unfortunately, there was never enough time to do anything
in those few moments.  Those weeks, our Saturday night rendezvous
tended to be a little more intense than usual, both of us
desperately needing the physical and emotional release of the
tensions the built up over the week.  There were a few questions
from the other counselors about the fact that we seemed to
disappear each Saturday, and didn't reappear until the following
morning.  We ignored them.  After that first night, we never
stayed in the tent or cabin in which we had been working that
week.  We picked one, virtually at random, the only caveat being
that it must be isolated.  All in all it worked out quite well
and I was deliriously happy with the situation, over all.  We
both knew the summer wasn't going to last forever, and as we
neared the end we both grew a little somber.  I don't think
either of us expected the bonds between us to grow as strong as
they did that summer.  Although we still weren't in love with
each other, I knew for my part that it was going to tear me apart
to be separated from her.  Our last week together was very quiet
between the two of us.  We were working in two different sections
of the camp, not just different campsites, and it severely
interfered with our interaction.  Even when we did manage to talk
to each other face to face, she was strangely reticent,
deflecting my attempts to talk about our last night together.  

	Smiling a sad, mysterious little smile, she'd shake her
head and say, "We'll see, sport, we'll see."  

	After the fifth time, I simply shrugged my shoulders and
resolved to wait until Saturday, when we'd have more time
together.  She might not feel the need to talk about our
situation, but I certainly did.  The last Saturday finally
arrived, and after getting through the circus of the parent's
arrival, pick up and departure, I went in search of her.
Unfortunately, I had been forced to spend two hours waiting on a
parent whose car had broken down.  Kara, a little girl was in the
third grade, was sitting there all alone after all her friends
had left.  I did what I could to help pass the time.  I had just
about exhausted my repertoire of funny voices, games and songs
when the station wagon finally pulled in.  Her father apologized
profusely and thanked me warmly for looking after his daughter
before throwing her bag in the car for the return trip.  When I
finally was able to try and catch up to Melissa, I couldn't find
hide or hair of her.  I spent several hours wandering through the
camp, trying to track her down.  Finally returning to the dorm
around five, I found an envelope sitting on my bunk.   It was
addressed to me, and I recognized her handwriting.  

	Picking it up, I suddenly got a very cold feeling in the
pit of my stomach.  It couldn't be what I thought it was.  Most
of the counselors were planning on staying the night and
attending the end of year party planned for tonight, but I knew
of at least two who had already packed and left.  One of them,
Kevin, had been heading for Melissa's hometown.  If she had
gotten a ride from him, and left me with this note as a way of
saying goodbye I was going to have a tantrum.  My tantrums,
unfortunately, had a tendency to be very spectacular.  And very
destructive.  I thought that perhaps it might be a better idea if
I left the room before reading it.  There were far too many
breakable things in the room.  The windows, the mirror...  the
door.  I stalked outside and off the porch.  If I was about to be
given the 'kiss off', I was damned if I would happen in where
anyone could see.  A brief walk past the parking lot and I found
the swimming pool area completely deserted.  It was close enough.
With trembling hands I peeled open the envelope and read.  It was
short and to the point:

	'Meet me at exactly 8:00 in the snake room.  Don't come
early, or you'll regret it."

	It was written in block letters, but I knew.  I had
worked myself up into a froth for nothing.  I laughed when I
re-read the directions.  'The snake room' meant the cabin at the
Sioux campsite out in the Tribes.  She had worked the campsite a
couple of weeks before, and had told me about one of her campers.
He had informed the rest of the campers that the word 'Sioux'
actually meant snake.  Whether or not it was true, I had no idea.
And I really didn't care.  It was simply a safe way to tell me
where to meet her, just in case someone was snooping through the
room before I arrived. 

	Well, there was certainly no way I was going to miss
this, whatever 'this' was.  But I might not do it quite the way
she expected.  Thrusting the note into my pocket, I hurried back
to my room.  I had spent most of the morning in the sun and
spending the afternoon running all over the camp hadn't done much
to improve my fragrance.  I grabbed a quick shower; whatever she
had planned, I didn't think that showing up smelling like a
polecat would improve the mood.  I grabbed my keys and ran up to
the car.  A half an hour later I was wolfing down a Big Mac and
fries on my way back to the camp.  Instead of pulling into the
main driveway, however, I continued down the narrow road for
another mile.  I pulled off the blacktop onto a rutted dirt road
that led back down through the forest to the Tribes.  It was slow
going.  The Ford, after all, was not built with off-roading in
mind.  After about a half mile, I realized that my car was never
going to make it the whole way without running the risk of
punching a hole in the oil pan or some other equally vulnerable
part on the underside.  I was able to make it to a small
clearing, where I was able to pull off and would at least have
room to turn the beast around.  The thought of trying to back the
car out of the road gave me the shivers.  I had to reorient
myself to the geography since I wasn't used to coming in this
way.  I hurried down the trail, trying not to break an ankle in
the deep furrows.  When I was within a few hundred feet, I broke
off the trail, circling around to the right through the woods.  I
wanted to come up on the cabin from the rear.  I figured she
would automatically chose the girls cabin, just as she had the
first night.  It took me a little longer than I had expected and
I didn't near the cabin until almost 7:00.  It was cutting it
tight, but I hoped I'd be all right.  I moved very slowly once
the cabin came into view through the scrub underbrush.  Walking
carefully, I found a small thicket that would conceal me, while
at the same time giving me a good view of the trail and the front
door of the cabin.  

	So it was a sneaky, dirty and underhanded thing to do,
I'm like that sometimes.  Besides, I owed her.  And I really
wanted to know what the hell was going on before I stumbled into
it; I'm like that sometimes too.  I settled down into my little
spot and relaxed, trying not to think about what she had in mind.
I didn't have long to wait.  I saw her come into view down the
trial from the camp.  She was carrying a rather large bag over
her shoulder and seemed to be distracted as she hurried down the
path to the cabin.  She stopped and gave the area a quick look.
I laughed to myself, nice to see she trusted me.  Well, I was
proving her right.  I waited and watched.  She went into the
cabin and I didn't see her again for almost ten minutes.  I could
hear her moving things around and assumed she was arranging the
beds.  After a few moments of silence, I saw her walk back out of
the cabin.  She was dressed in a robe and had a towel slung over
her neck.  The showers were only a short distance away, but the
sound of the water would definitely cover the noise of my
retreat.  Once I heard the water start, I left the little thicket
and moved back the way I had come.  Another fifteen minutes and I
was standing next to my car, wondering what the hell the night
had in store for me.  I probably smoked half a pack of cigarettes
over the next half-hour, waiting for the appointed time to roll
around.  When my watch finally read five to eight, I squared my
shoulders and, like any good soldier following orders, marched
down the road to my fate. 

	I timed it rather well, even if I do say so.  At
precisely 8:00, I knocked on the door of the cabin.  


Chapter 7

	"Come in," she called.  She sounded almost as nervous as
I felt.  I took a deep breath, exhaled and walked in.

	"Oh my..." I tailed off.  Candles, dozens of them, lit
the room.  Spread over every available surface, they cast a warm
even glow throughout the room.  I saw something out of the corner
of my eye and turned to look.  She stood in the corner of the
room, wearing a white negligée that seemed to glow in the
candlelight.  It was long in the back, but seemed to come
together in front, just below the tops of her thighs.  The top
seemed to be made out of lace, held up by two thin straps over
her shoulders.  

	Yes, it was a little staged, and a little contrived; even
I could recognize that.  But it didn't matter.  All the effort
that she went through only served to demonstrate, extremely
vividly, just how much meaning she put on what happened tonight.
She stood there, uncertainly, shifting her weight from one foot
to another, searching my face for my reaction.  "Do you like it?"


My face wasn't showing much of anything at that moment, I was too
stunned.  "Yes, Melissa, I love it."  I crossed over to her
quickly and wrapped her up in my arms. Standing there in ratty
shorts and a polo shirt, I felt completely out of place, like a
man who arrives at a cocktail party dressed as a pirate.  I
kissed her tenderly, not quite believing what was going on.

	"I wanted it to be special.  Since we don't know when..."
she paused for a second, a brief pang of pain passing over her
face, "or if we'll be together again.  I just wanted it to be
special." 

"It is special.  Very special.  Any time with you is special,
this just makes it more so."  My heart was in my throat.  It's a
stupid cliché but it fits how I felt.  I was having trouble
forcing up the words.  

	After standing there for a moment, we walked together,
over to the bed.  She had been busy.  The mattresses were stacked
up on the bed in what had become our trademark, with the sleeping
bags spread out over top.  As we reached the bed, she stopped and
turned to face me.  Without saying anything, she slowly pulled my
shirt up over my head and removed my shorts.  There didn't seem
to be any rush to things tonight.  Everything important would
happen in its own time.  After removing my clothes, she climbed
onto the bed, and motioned me to join her.  Once we quickly
settled into the bed, we lay there together quietly.  We
continued to kiss, enjoying simply being together.  After a few
moments passed in this pleasant fashion, Melissa seemed to make a
decision, gently pushing me to roll onto my back.  She reached
down to wrap her fingers around my cock.  Leaning over, she
kissed me one last time, and slowly trailed her lips down my
body.  She lay there, slowly stroking me with her hand, her head
resting on my stomach.

	To say that I was shocked would be an understatement.  I
was dumbfounded.  In the last three months, she had shown
absolutely no interest in going down on me.  I had eaten, licked
and sucked her until I was giddy with power, and we had brought
each other to simultaneous orgasms with our hands on any number
of occasions, but she had never come close to performing oral sex
on me.  And I hadn't pushed.  Hell, I had barely given the matter
much thought at all.  I was too busy exploring her body and what
I could do with it to worry about anything that trivial.  It was
an understandable mistake, the kind of mistake someone without a
great deal of experience would make.

	We stayed like that for quite a while.  Every few minutes
she would make a small abortive move towards the tip of my cock
then lay her head back down on my stomach.  After this happened
three times, even I knew that something wasn't quite right.  

	"Melissa, what's wrong," I asked, laying my hand on her
shoulder.  

"Nothing, baby, nothing."  She answered in a husky voice so quiet
I could barely hear her.  "Nothing," she repeated in a broken
voice.  That was enough of that.  I gently pulled her back up to
lay next to me.  When I looked at her, I was stunned to see that
she was crying.  

"What's wrong?"

	She just shook her head and continued crying, not
trusting herself to speak.  

	"Melissa, damn it, what's wrong?"  I was starting to get
a little scared.  This didn't seem like simply an overflow of
sadness because we would be leaving each other tomorrow.  "Talk
to me, Melissa, honey, please talk to me."

	"I'm sorry, David, I'm so sorry."

	"Sorry about what?  Melissa, what's going on?"
Unfortunately, all this accomplished was to cause her to burst
into sobs.  'Well, asshole,' I thought to myself, 'you're
handling this really well.'  I was at a loss.  I pulled her into
my arms, holding her tight.  She buried her head against my neck,
repeating over and over that she was sorry.  Hell, I still didn't
know why she was so sorry.  I did the best I could.

	"It's okay, honey.  Everything's going to be okay.
Shhhh.  Everything's going to be okay."  Yeah, I knew it sounded
ridiculous, and was probably the next best thing to useless.  But
it's all I could come up with on short notice.  I just kept
repeating that, and variations of it, over and over again,
drowning out her repeated apologies. Eventually it actually
seemed to do some good.  Her sobbing quieted, and although I was
already soaking wet from all the tears she had shed, I thought I
could feel it start to slow.  I reached down to put my fingers
under her chin and lifted, forcing her head up gently.  Looking
her in the eye, I slowly leaned my head forward and kissed her
softly.  

	"Melissa, honey, what's wrong?"  I asked again.  

"I tried, David, I really tried.  But I just can't."  The tears
had slowed to a trickle, but she was still sniffling, the crying
not really over, just on hold.

	"I don't understand Melissa, what are you talking about?"


She drew in a deep shuddering breath, "I'm talking about going
down on you, about sucking your cock.  I just can't."

	"Is that all?" I asked in amazement.  "Melissa, if you
don't want to, there's no reason for you to do it.  It doesn't
matter to me!"  I couldn't believe she was getting so upset over
such a small thing.  

"No!  You don't understand," she almost shouted.  "I do want to!
I can't!"

	She's right, I didn't, couldn't understand what she
meant.  So she explained it to me.  She used words of one
syllable, so I would be sure to understand.

	"I told you that I'd been with two guys, right?  Roger
and Tony, the guy in high school."  She hadn't mentioned his name
before, but I nodded for her to go on.  "That's not quite all the
truth.  There was another guy in between the other two.  He was a
friend of a friend.  He was older, about 20 and I was a junior,
17.  He hung around after school with some people.  He looked,
and acted about as cool as you could get, the whole 'bad boy'
cliché, but at that point I was really impressed by him.  I
thought I was in love."  She stopped and I gave her another
gentle kiss.  I could see that this was very difficult for her.
The tears had started to flow again, although she was keeping her
voice very calm and controlled; I knew what it was costing her.  

"Just take your time," I said quietly.  "We have all night." 

She smiled a sad smile.  "Our last night, you mean."  Taking
another deep breath she continued, "Anyway, one day, right out of
the blue, he asked me if I wanted to go to a party on Friday
night.  He called it the 'ultimate blow-out', and I thought he
should know.  I said yes, and thought about it the whole week.
He had completely overwhelmed me.  He was handsome and older than
I, everything that I thought I wanted a guy to be.  On Friday, he
picked me up and we went to the party.  We hung out for a while,
just having fun.  There was beer, but I wasn't paying much
attention, since I knew I had to go home afterwards.  He didn't.
Anyway, after a couple of hours, we left, and on the way, he
asked if I wanted to stop and park for a while.  I thought we
were just going to, you know, make out and have a little fun.
But after we had done that for a while, he told me he wanted
something else..." 

"I think I get the picture."  My stomach had started doing
flip-flops halfway into her story.  By this point, I was worked
into such a rage that I had trouble seeing clearly.  It wasn't a
new story, even to me.  It had happened to a friend of mine
earlier that year, although I don't think it went quite as far
with her.  That time, I had been able to do something about it.
This time, I could only sit and grow angrier and angrier.  

	I let out a long slow breath, trying to keep control of
myself.  I didn't think a personal demonstration of my temper
would help things.  I got a grip on myself and looked at her
again.  

	"Melissa," I began, "you have absolutely nothing to be
sorry about.  Nothing at all."  I paused, trying to think of
something, anything to say.  

"Why do you think you should feel sorry?" 

"Because I can't.  And I want to.  I want it so bad it hurts.  I
love you so much and I..." She trailed off, her eyes growing wide
as she realized what she had said.  Looking scared, she continued
on in a rush, "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean that.  I remember what
we said."  She looked embarrassed, as if she had let a state
secret slip.  

"Melissa," I tried to interrupt.

	"I mean, neither of us need this.  It's not right.  I
didn't mean it, Dave."  She wasn't paying any attention to what I
was trying to say.  She couldn't even look at me directly.  

	"Melissa," I said, a little louder than necessary
perhaps, but it got her attention.  She turned her head back to
face me, looking worried about what I was going to say next.
"Melissa, I love you too." Whatever she was expecting, that
wasn't it.  The tears that had almost stopped flowing started up
yet again.  But there was a difference this time.  Her face split
into a smile and she flung her arms around me, squeezing me
tight.  It was ridiculous.  We both knew that a relationship
would be impossible.  My parents probably wouldn't have a large
problem with it, but through our talks, I knew hers would throw a
fit.  But more importantly, I didn't think either one of us were
ready for one.  Not at that point.  A long distance relationship
is possible, at least in theory, particularly if they are both
seniors; but not when one of us is in college and the other in
high school.  That was pretty much impossible.  And we both knew
it.  We talked about those things and more as we lay there,
resting together.  We concluded that while there was no doubt we
loved each other, we weren't in love or at least, not that much.


	As we talked, our caresses became less abstracted and
more intimate, and our kisses grew steadily more passionate.
Before long, the worries about the future fell away and the only
thing concerning us was the present.  Her negligee was slowly
removed by common consent, and soon our hands were ranging over
each other's bodies.  

After one particularly good kiss, she asked, "Ready?" It was my
turn to give her the 'Look' I'd been receiving for most of the
last three months.  The look that said, "You IDIOT, of COURSE!"
I'd been waiting quite some time for that to happen, and I took
great satisfaction in it.  I'd honed that look for weeks, hoping
against hope that I'd be able to use it, and finally I was.  She
laughed a little sheepishly, recognizing it immediately for what
it was.  

"Payback's a bitch," I whispered into her ear.  "Where are the
rubbers?"

	She just shook her head, threw her leg over mine and with
a shift of her hips, I was inside of her.  I gasped in shock, not
only at the feeling, but also at her decision.  I knew she was on
the pill.  I had seen her 'Dial-a-Candy' dispenser often enough,
but that had never been the sole reason for using a condom.  

	Then I remembered one of the late night, fireside chats
we had.  Being a virgin, I hadn't had the opportunity to pick up
any of the embarrassing social conditions about which one
normally worries.  And as for AIDS, I had gone through a stomach
operation some years before, one that required a small
transfusion.  As a result, first at my parents insistence, and
then mine, every physical included a blood test, just in case.
Melissa's physicals included one as well.  I relaxed.  It was as
safe as it would ever be, and there was no sense worrying about
it.

	That left me only one thing to worry about, whether or
not I was going to reach orgasm in the next 60 seconds.
Fortunately, she realized what a change it would be, and we
simply lay there, not moving, giving me a few moments to adjust
to it.  There was a mischievous little twinkle in her eye, and
just as she started to move, she leaned forward and whispered,
"Surprise."  

	She had no idea.  The absence of that thin barrier
changed everything.  It was incredible.  We slowly started to
move together, our bodies sliding back and forth in counterpoint
to each other.  With an effort, she lifted herself and slid over
top of me so that she was perched above me, lowering herself down
over top of me.  Our eyes were locked to each other.  What was
happening to our bodies had become secondary.  It was still
there, of course; the feeling of surging deep into her could
hardly be ignored.  But it wasn't as important as what was going
on between us.  We built up slowly, trying to make the night last
as long as possible.  During the summer there had been several
Saturday nights that consisted of nothing but trying to bring
each other off again and again and again.  This, in turn, had
caused some very sore Sunday mornings.  We both knew, however,
that this night was different.  It wasn't a night to keep score,
the number of orgasms were completely irrelevant We exchanged
positions several times, staying in one for a few moments then
easily shifting back.  This was our goodbye.  Tomorrow morning,
we would cry and hug, but this night, this endless moment would
be where the hurting started, and the healing began.  


Chapter 8

	Opening my eyes, I found myself sitting in my car,
perched on top of hill.  The memories had seemed so real, so
immediate that it took me a moment to realize where I was.  

	"Shit," I said with some disgust.  This wasn't solving
anything.  The dashboard clock told me I'd been sitting here for
over an hour, lost in the mists of the not too distant past.  If
anything, I was even more confused now.  In the last 9 months,
I'd been able to, then at least contain the feelings that had I
had developed for Melissa.  But they had been contained, not
conquered.  And the confusion I felt over what happened tonight
was simply added to the turmoil.  Melissa and I had parted on
that Sunday morning with fewer tears than I had expected.  There
were some, of course, for both of us.  We had promised to call
and write, and unlike most of those promises made at camp, we had
actually kept them.  In fact, she had returned with Linda for
Thanksgiving last November.  I had a sneaking suspicion that
Melissa had not only taken Linda into her confidence but also
enlisted her aid at some point.  We were able to find entirely
too many opportunities to spend time together for it to be a
coincidence.  Melissa simply gave a mysterious little smile and
changed the subject whenever I asked.

	We had talked about being counselors again this summer,
but that idea had died a fairly early death months ago.  She had
a chance to work with one of the doctoral candidates on her
dissertation, and although it would be a great opportunity for
her, it would also mean that she would have to work through the
summer.  So much for camp.  I wasn't so in love with the place
that I wanted to work there without her.  

	I had planned to spend the summer as a bum.  I had plenty
of cash saved up, enough for both the summer of indulgence and
for 'beer money' at school.  The fact that I couldn't choke down
a beer if my life depended on it was immaterial.  It was the
principle of the thing.  And besides, calling it 'tequila money'
didn't have the same ring to it.  After three months of R&R came
the joys of higher education.  I had already received my
acceptance letter from Penn State.  And a combination of my SAT
scores and my stated desire to take Japanese to satisfy my
foreign language requirement had been sufficient to make me one
of the few freshmen at College Park.  Lucky me.  Lucky hell.  I
sat up more than a few nights trying to figure out the best way
to ensure that I would be able to attend the main campus as a
freshman, the administration was notoriously reluctant to allow
them on campus.  Fortunately, this had done it.  The next year
was to be the time where Melissa and I discovered whether or not
we could actually work as a couple, day in and day out.  At
least, that had been the plan until tonight.


Chapter 9

	I hadn't even planned on going to the party, although it
had been widely circulated in school over the past couple of
days.  It was basically a "come as you will party" with everyone
reputed to be invited.  A couple of my 'buddies' had dragged me
there, threatening prolonged physical violence if I didn't, and I
quote "get up off my fat ass and enjoy the last moments of the
best days of my life." Considering the fact that Jerry was 5' 4"
tall and weighed 120 pounds immediately following a full meal and
being dunked with all his clothes on, I wasn't terribly worried
about his threats of bodily harm.  Allen just stood there and
giggled.  He wasn't a great deal of help, to either of us.

	The three of us held a somewhat unique position in the
school.  We fell so far outside everyone's expectations that we
could move relatively freely throughout the stratified levels of
high school society.  We weren't exactly accepted, but it did
give us the opportunity to interact with just about everyone, as
long as we remembered the unwritten rules.  By and large, we
didn't have any interest in overstepping the bounds in any case,
so it wasn't terribly restrictive.  We could be out back smoking
a joint with the burnouts one moment, then get asked to help cram
with one of the preps the next, or anything in between.  It was a
comfortable little arrangement that allowed us to do what we felt
like, without the low-level terrorism with which most of the
population was force to undergo.  Even taking our strange social
position into account, the idea of spending an evening crammed
into a house with a couple of hundred drunken teenagers didn't
exactly fill me with anticipation.  There was a grain of truth to
what he said though.  I hadn't been much of a social animal
during the 4 years of high school.  The student body was pretty
well divided into two distinct groups: those few that I actually
hung out with after the school day ended, and, with two notable
exceptions, everyone else.  The group I spent most of my time
with could be termed the "Brilliant Underachievers".  Jerry and
Allen and myself made up the core trio, although there were a few
others that floated in and out.  High school bored us to tears.
We knew we were smarter than most of the teachers.
Unfortunately, we had a nasty habit of acting that way as well.
We did the minimum, mostly.  Whatever it took to keep them off
our backs.  I don't think any of us had a G.P.A. higher than a
2.5 or so, but when we got together to compare notes when our SAT
scores came in, we found out that we had all scored over 1500.
We simply weren't interested in what the high school teachers had
to say.  

	Unlike the other two, I didn't have a single interest
that absorbed all my waking moments.  I was a lazy man's jack of
all trades.  I could kibitz with Jerry about computers, although
when he started thinking in binary he left me far behind.  I
could also stay with Allen long enough to get the general gist of
whatever chemistry hobbyhorse he was riding at that particular
moment.  However, I did have a nice little sideline of my own in
those days.  In any school, there are always those who would
rather have the grade than the knowledge.  For those poor souls,
I had a 'Writing on Demand' service.  Given a week's lead-time, I
could produce a paper on whatever topic they wished.  All the
service, for a nominal fee, of course.  I actually enjoyed it,
for the most part.  It gave me the excuse to spend most of my
time reading or doing research, and put enough cash in my pocket
that my simple needs were met without having to resort to
anything as distasteful as getting a 'real job'.  By the time
senior year rolled around, I could bang out a 5 page paper on
almost any topic inside of two hours, and charge between $25 and
$30 for my effort.  Term papers, depending on how long and
involved could garner up to $100.  It wasn't too strenuous.
First come, first served, and I kept the amount of traffic in any
one class limited so the teacher wouldn't be able to pin down a
definite writing style.  

I had allowed myself to be convinced the party wouldn't be a
complete disaster.  My parents watched with tolerant amusement.
It would have been so much easier to have their disapproval as an
excuse.  There are times they truly disappoint me.  Jerry had
worked himself apoplectic, trying to convince me that this was
going to be the 'ultimate, can't miss, gotta be there' party of
the year, while at the same time trying to couch his rhetoric so
as not to let the old people know just how wild the party was
supposed to be.  He needn't have bothered.  My parents aren't
stupid, it's just the sleepy look that fools people.  They knew
exactly what the party was supposed to be like, but since they
have an unnerving level of trust in me, they were comfortable in
letting me go, simply warning me about the 'house rules'.
Considering the fact that the only 'house rule' that applied here
was not drinking and driving, it wasn't a big deal.  Even if the
fear of winding up a mangled mass of flesh, dead in a ditch
somewhere wasn't enough to give me pause, the threatened
punishment from my parents certainly was.  I don't know about the
average teenage male, but I think my testicles look much better
on my body than they would hanging from the fireplace mantle, a
shiny electroplating of bronze making them glisten gently in the
light of the fire.  That settled, we were off with great fanfare.

	Jerry and Allen both wanted to do some drinking when we
got there, so I 'volunteered' to drive.  Since today had been the
last day of class, there weren't any worries about getting up for
school the next morning, even though it was Thursday night.  They
lived on the other side of town, but within 25 minutes, we
eventually ended up in the midst of one of the end-of-year
blowouts for which high school students are justifiably infamous.
There were probably 100 people packed into Jeff Whitmore's house.
The poor bastard had made the mistake of mentioning that his
parents were out of town for the weekend, a mistake I had
noticed, and made sure not to repeat.  That had been enough to
make him instantly the most popular guy in the school.  It's not
as though he actually needed the help.  He ran with the prep
clique, probably the second most influential group, at least for
the male half of the student body, in school.  

I knew before I was there more than 10 minutes, it wasn't my idea
of a fun night. There were far too many people who had had far
too much to drink and were far too intent on acting like the
inebriated idiots they were.  The kitchen was crowded with jocks,
completely absorbed in some sort of titanic drinking contest.
The table seemed to be reserved for the "nobility" of jock
society, those four or five guys who were on the Varsity squad
for two or three different sports.  Most of them didn't have
anything interesting to say when they were sober, and I highly
doubted that 12 or 15 beers would have a salutary effect on their
conversational skills.  Since there was little in the kitchen to
keep my interest, I continued on the tour.  I figured on doing a
circuit of the house, just to see if there was anyone worth
talking to who wasn't dead drunk already.  It was obvious that
the party had been underway for quite some time.  Hell, for all I
knew, some of the revelers may have come here as soon as classes
let out that afternoon.  From the bloodshot eyes of some of the
guys in the kitchen, it wouldn't have surprised me in the least.
Today had been the last day of classes for seniors, and this was
the opening salvo of a very long weekend of partying.  Most
people had done what they could to clear their schedules
completely for the weekend, calling out of work in order to take
full and complete advantage.

	The dining room held more of the same.  Only the
participants and the quantity of beer were different.  In here,
the preps were holding court and there were at least as many
girls as guys sitting around, waiting for the quarter to be
passed to them.  I nodded to a few of the people I knew, and
received bleary greetings from them in turn.  I could exactly
call them friends, but perhaps friendly acquaintances would cover
it.  I was on friendly terms with enough people that I could move
around the edges of most of the cliques in the school without too
many difficulties.  They never mistook me as a member of their
groups, but I did receive a sort of benign indifference.  I
didn't linger in the dining room for very long, quarters not
exactly being a riveting spectator sport.  The living room had
become neutral territory, gathering a strange combination of
serious drinkers who wanted the combination of comfortable
furniture and the proximity to the keg, which was parked in the
corner and covered in rapidly melting bags of ice.  There was
also a random sampling of members of the other readily
identifiable cliques, the "music" group, and the "theater" group
who had gathered in the front room in order that all new arrivals
see that they had been there first.  For some reason, the rest of
the people appeared to be an assortment of hangers on who liked
to think they were part of the various cliques, as well as people
who were only invited in the spirit of the end of school
celebration.

	There was nothing of consequence happening in the living
room.  The upstairs, if I could read anything into the way people
were moving up and down the stairs was limited to trips to the
bathroom and couples trying out the bed.  As I passed the front
stairs, I glanced up the stairs and smiled to myself.
Apparently, Jeff was smarter than he looked.  He had dragooned
someone to stand at the top of the stairs, acting as a traffic
cop cum bouncer.  He was making sure the people who need the
bathroom actually used the bathroom, and those who were looking
for the bedrooms actually found them.  Two points for thinking
ahead.  There were lots of wonderful opportunities for
embarrassing situations implicit in the arrangement and I was
actually impressed that Jeff, or someone had enough sense to try
and limit them.  The stairs to the basement were back in the
kitchen, and it took me at least five minutes to work my way back
the way I had come, through the living and dining room.  I headed
down the stairs after pushing through the jocks in the kitchen.
I knew, from overhearing the conversation as I wandered around
the house that the lower level had been finished into at least a
family room and office for Jeff's mom, who apparently worked at
home.   I hadn't seen Jerry or Allen since we split up on
arriving.  It didn't really matter, on the way over, they had
both said they would probably end up crashing in some corner
until morning.  They'd be able to mooch a ride off someone in the
morning.  I had driven the three of us over, so there was no
problem with me picking up a ride, and I was planning on cutting
out pretty quickly in any case.  

	The family room was packed.  Someone had found an old
porn tape and thrown it in the VCR.  Fortunately, the sound was
left down to a manageable level, although it blended into the
blasting stereo from upstairs and made conversation well nigh
impossible.  Although conversation seemed to be the last thing on
everyone's mind.  Most of the people were kissing cousins to the
ones upstairs in the living room.  Kids who had received
invitations through the spirit of generosity or who had simply
crashed the party, counting on not being tossed out.  There were
a few others, but the majority were what was quaintly termed
"geeks and dorks" by the ruling class, i.e. normal people.  The
few girls that were scattered about were dividing their attention
between what was going on up on the screen, and trying to fend
off the advances of hordes of drunken teenager males.  In the
corner I noticed Sean McKee, standing and glancing around the
room.  I gave him the "high" sign and caught his eye.  He grinned
and waved me over.  If there was such a thing as a Big Man on
Campus in the mid-80's, Sean was it, he was also one of the 'two
notable exceptions' I mentioned earlier.   Seamus Michael McKee.
That's his full name, and as Black Irish as they come.

	Our families had moved into town less than a week apart
the summer before first grade, ending up as neighbors across a
small alley from each other.  Since it was the summer, we were a
little lost when it came to finding playmates.  Had we moved in
during the school year, the enforced introductions would have
obviated the need for that first fearful "Hi, my name's Sean."
We spent elementary school as neighbors, spending as much time in
each other's house as we did in our own.  Neither of us had any
siblings and we ended up as close as any brothers.  I moved
outside of town in Junior High, but we managed to remain very
good friends.  We didn't talk as often as we had in the old days,
but there was still an unshakable bond there.  

He was the starting halfback and linebacker on the football team,
he batted clean-up and played first base on the baseball team and
was the point guard on the basketball team.  If we had a swimming
pool, I'm fairly certain he would have excelled there as well.
He was also the odds-on favorite for valedictorian.  He had been
the Homecoming King, almost unanimously, and was generally
regarded as the most popular person in the school.  All in all,
he was a walking propaganda poster for the Red Blooded American
Boy Next Door, Leader of Tomorrow stereotype we've all seen
portrayed but rarely if ever see in real life.  He was so damned
impressive that in my weaker moments, he made my teeth hurt.
Fortunately, I was used to him.  

He was big.  At least 6'4" and weighing exactly 200 pounds.  He
always weighed exactly 200 pounds.  Always in perfect physical
shape, he probably didn't have more than 10% body fat. Although
Sean and I were as close as brothers were, there was little
'family' resemblance.  He was three inches taller than I was,
even when I remembered to stand up straight.  And where his 200
pounds was all muscle, my 225 pounds was built much lower to the
ground and covered with a layer of padding.  He was the
bodybuilder, while I was the power lifter.  A luxurious crop of
dark black hair topped his head, while I knew, simply by looking
at my family line, the dirty blond hair I had wouldn't stay with
me for much longer.  His eyes were bright and green.  Mine were
gray and a little spooky.  I think it was our noses that
distinguished us far more than any other feature, however.  His
was straight and proud.  Mine, on the other hand, had a curious
bump right at the bridge and a distinct, albeit slight, bend to
the right.  I believe that Sean looked upon that nose as his
first, and possibly finest, work of art.

	Like all adolescent boys, we were occasionally given to
brief but violent disagreements.  And, on one particular day in
the summer of our 10th year, Sean had the audacity to play
Godzilla to my carefully constructed city of Matchbox cars.
Naturally I was appalled and went up to do battle upon the evil
invader.  Unfortunately, if you watch all of those old monster
movies, Godzilla had a nasty habit of beating the hell out of
whichever forces offered up resistance to his brutal attack.  And
so it was with this all to brief battle.  One swift swing and I
was lying on my ass, with blood gushing from my nose.  I truly
think that Sean was even more surprised than I was.  He stood
there, with his mouth open in astonishment.  This of course, gave
me the opportunity I needed.  I slowly clambered to my feet, and
quite deliberately booted him between the legs as hard as I
could.  Once my nose had been set, and his swelling had gone
down, our parents forced us back together to apologize to each
other.  Although now that I think back upon it, there seemed to
be some snickering going on behind their stern faces.  Within two
weeks, we were back destroying Tokyo together.  We'd been best
friends throughout school.  We weren't 'buddies' anymore, since
he had his own social groups and obligations, as did I.  But it
didn't matter.  We may not hang out together much anymore, but we
were still best friends.

	Sean was everything everyone thought he was.  And more.
You see, Sean was, as far as I knew for certain, the only gay
student in the entire school. Or, as he liked to phrase it in his
unguarded moments "Queer as a three dollar bill."  And I was the
only one in school who knew.  He showed up one-day last fall with
a strange, stressed look on his face.  Over the next couple of
hours, he eventually told me the story.  He had just broken up
with his first serious lover, a freshman from the nearby college.
Apparently, his ex was going through a bout of latent
heterosexuality.  He was pretty broken up about it, and needed to
talk with someone.  And I had been elected.  I asked him why,
even though I knew the reason before I asked.

	"You're the only person who I knew wouldn't freak out."
That was true.  My dad's sister had come out of the closet a year
before and he had seen, first hand my family's reaction. His
revelation had been surprising but not exactly a shock.  I can't
say why, other than knowing that he was gay didn't make much of a
difference to me.  He was still the same guy that I had grown up
with; the only difference that I could see was that we probably
wouldn't be going out to a strip club on my 21 birthday.  No big
loss.  After that first discussion last summer, we'd been almost
as close as we were when we were young.

	"This your idea, or Jeff's?"  I asked over the background
noise as I walked up.  It was obvious he was acting as the
protector/guardian down here.  A logical choice.  He could pick
up and snap virtually anyone in the audience in two without
breaking a sweat.  He didn't drink, so the ongoing battle of the
livers upstairs wouldn't interest him in the least.  

	"Mine, and his," he replied.  "I wandered down about an
hour ago, right after the first video went on.  I let Jeff know
what was going on, and he asked if I could sort of keep an eye on
things down here.  He's going to send someone down to give me a
break eventually."  He laughed and continued, "He even gave me
the remote, so I could 're-run any of the parts I really liked.'"
He rolled his eyes in conclusion.

	"Oh, you poor thing," I laughed.  I turned to take in the
screen for a moment, and was immediately glad I hadn't been
paying attention in the first place.  Filled with women in their
thirties desperately trying to like teenagers and skinny guys
wearing black socks and outlandish sideburns, you could tell in
seconds that it wasn't one of the more flattering examples of
adult movies. 

	"Any news?" I asked.  

	"Yeah, actually," he replied.  He was trying to be
clever.  I hated that.  He had applied to over a dozen schools
from Penn State to Harvard.  Although he was a shoe-in for almost
any school he choose, he was waiting for the final word on
financial aid before making his decision.  Unlike my parents, his
were in no position to pay for 4 years of college out of pocket,
and he didn't want to take an athletic scholarship as anything
but a last resort.  Although he looked like the quintessential
jock, sports had always been a tool to get where he wanted to go;
they were a means to and end, not an end in and of themselves.  

	In the end, the choices had come down to Oberlin College,
and Penn State.  As of the day before, Penn State was in the
lead, since they had come across with an athletic and an academic
scholarship, which when combined would put him through school.
Oberlin, which was his preferred choice, had proven reluctant to
offer more than a partial academic scholarship.  They had offered
to close the gap with low interest student loans, but Sean was
loath to take on debt when he had an alternative close at hand.

	He just sat there looking smug, until I broke down and
asked, "OK, fine, what is the news?"  I really hated it when he
started playing these games.  I think he did it just to annoy me.
I know I did the same thing to him.  He knew exactly why I was so
damned curious.  He might end up going to Penn State with me, and
while we wouldn't exactly be roomies, it would still be nice
having a friend like him around.  

	He finally relented.  "Oberlin came through," he said.
His face lit in a huge smile.  "It means an on campus job, but,
shit, that's not going to be a big deal." 

	I was happy for him, and told him so.  I was also just a
little disappointed, which I didn't mention.  "Anything
interesting going on around here?  I've only been here a half
hour and it's already getting old."

	"Not really.  If I hadn't already told Jeff I'd stick
around to help make sure everything stays under control, I'd
probably bail."  He paused and seemed to wrestle with something.
"Karen's floating around somewhere," he said neutrally.  

	"Oh shit."  It wasn't bad news, but it wasn't exactly
welcome news either.  Karen Russell was the one person in the
school who could probably have gotten me to engage in all those
"useless tribal rituals".  She was the perfect complement to
Sean.  She was just as good looking as he was, had been voted
Homecoming Queen by proclamation, and was one of the two or three
other students who actually had a chance to beat Sean out for
valedictorian.  If life had been a bedtime story, they would have
fallen in love in Junior High and married right out of college
and gone on to live happily ever after.  So much for happily ever
after.  Had I been less of an egotistical son of a bitch, between
the two of them, I would have ended up working up a nice
inferiority complex.  Karen was the 'someone else' that Melissa
had asked about.  But, I could recognize the way she felt about
me.  And I had been able to bury my feelings for her almost
completely.  Certainly better than I had contained my feelings
for Melissa, but then again, I didn't have to see Melissa every
single day, and know that she was out of reach.  For most of high
school, Sean, Karen and I had been mixed up in some sort of
twisted triangle.  It went something like: boy one likes girl,
girl likes boy two, boy two isn't interested in girl, girl goes
and cries on boy one's shoulder calling him "a great friend",
which sends boy one into convulsions of frustration.  I think
what caused the biggest problem wasn't the fact that Sean wasn't
interested, but that Karen had no idea why he wasn't.  If he had
explained why, she probably could have handled it, or at least
that was my opinion.  I had mentioned it to Sean, and he agreed,
at least in theory.  But then again, it wasn't my ass hanging in
the breeze if she decided to confound both of us and get
vindictive. 

	"You know she applied to Oberlin too, don't you?"  I
said.  This could be a tremendous complication.  

	"Yup, as well as Penn State, Princeton and UCLA.  And as
far as I've heard, she was accepted at all of them."  

	"Shit, shit, shit."  I was running out of intelligent
things to say.  "You're going to have to tell her.  Or something
ugly is going to happen when you get there."

	"I can't!  You know what would happen if she went
ballistic." 

"I know.  I know.  Shit."  It was rapidly becoming a staple of my
vocabulary.  "But she has to know what's going on.  If she hasn't
already started the paperwork, she's got a chance to decide on
somewhere else to go.  If she gets there, and finds out do you
think she's going to react any better?

	"Oberlin's deadline is in less than a week.  She's got a
right to know what the hell is going on!"

	Sean closed his eyes and thought about it.  I could see
him wrestle with the decision.  It wasn't exactly fair to brace
him about it in these circumstances, but Karen deserved the
chance to avoid the situation if at all possible.  If she found
out that Sean was gay by watching him walk across the quad
holding hands with another guy, I doubted it would enhance the
rest of her academic year.  "I'll tell you what, Sean.  I'll tell
her.  That way, if she does go ballistic, I can tell her that I
made the story up, just to get into bed with her."  That made me
stick to my stomach, but I was ready to do it.

	"What?  No fucking way.  She'd hate you."  Sean was the
only person I'd ever talked to about her.  Considering the
situation, it was only fair.  Why should I be the only one who
choked on the delicious irony?  "Better me than you, Chief."  I
tried to grin, but it didn't exactly work.  

	"Why?"

	"Think about it, Sean.  You're parents aren't exactly
ready to learn about this are they?  How do you think it would go
over if someone called them in the middle of the night and told
them 'anonymously'?  Look, she'd be pissed at me, but she'd get
over it.  Eventually.  And anyway, I don't even think we'll have
to worry about it."  Boy, I could talk a good game, but the
prospect of actually lying to her about this, even to protect
Sean, had me weak in the knees.  I can lie with the best of them,
truly.  But not about this.  It would be a helluva feat to pull
off.

	"You're nuts, you know that, don't you?"

	"Yeah, but let's see them try and prove it in court," I
grinned as I replied.  "OK.  I'm going to try and find her in
this mess.  Do you have any clue where she is?"  It wasn't going
to be fun weaving through the crush of people trying to find
Karen.  He gave me a grim look and jerked his head towards the
front of the room.  I turned to look and noticed for the first
time that the room had a sliding glass door that looked to lead
out onto some sort of patio.  I could make out some people
sitting out there, but it was too dark to get a count or tell who
they were. 

	"She went out there about 15 minutes ago, right before
you came down," he said.  

	"All right...  I'll go see what I can do."  Since giving
him a hug probably wouldn't have gone over well in front of the
drunken horde, we grasped hands before I headed towards what felt
like my impending doom.


Chapter 10

	I carefully threaded my way through the crowded room,
stepping around and over the people who had filled up the floor
when the couches ran out of room.  No one really paid much
attention to me, their attention was locked on the pumping bodies
up on the screen.  I was used to it.  For all my physical bulk, I
didn't stand out the way Sean did.  And I'd been playing the
fringes of high school society for so long that it was normal.  

	I finally made it to the door and slid the door open.
Cool clear air, devoid of the smoke and smell of spilled beer and
too many people spilled in as I hurried through the doorway. It
was a beautiful evening in early June, with a sliver of the moon
burning brightly just above the horizon in the clear sky.  That
made me feel a little better at least.  It was what Chinese
Mythology called the Dragon Moon, and it had always seemed to be
lucky for me.  Or at least, nothing horrendous had ever happened
on a night of the Dragon Moon.  But then again, there's a first
time for everything.  

	I stepped aside from the door and waited for my eyes to
adjust to the relative darkness.  Someone had lit a few candles
and spread them around the patio.  They had the funny citrus
smell of citronella, something to help keep the bugs away.  Four
or five people were grouped around one of the larger tables,
passing around a pipe, which probably helped keep the bugs away
as well.  From the red glow I recognized Jimmy Spence.  After
glancing up and catching my eye he waved me over, I shook my head
and kept looking.   I was tempted, but getting through this was
going to be tough enough, and being stoned wasn't going to add to
the experience.  If it blew up in my face, however, I resolved to
go back and inhale until I passed out form anoxia.  

	It was much quieter out on the patio.  I could still hear
the party, of course, but it was a much lower, more muted sound.
I could feel the vibrations more than actually hearing it.  I
looked around and made out the shape of a couple of people passed
out in the chaise lounges.  Smiling to myself, I thought they
were going to be in for a chilly night if no one thought to wake
them.  Oh well, they'd survive.

	I finally saw her sitting on the very edge of the patio.
She had dragged one of the wrought iron chairs away from the
nearest table and sat on it, staring out into the night.  I
walked up behind her and crouched down.  "Want some company?" I
asked cautiously.  

"Sure," she said turning and smiling up at me.  "Grab a chair."
She motioned over to the table where she had gotten hers.  When I
looked at her face, I knew this was going to be even more
difficult than I had thought.  She was so beautiful sitting
there.  The bright slice of the moon cast enough of its special
light to make her light skin almost glow and the warm flickering
glow of the candles were caught in blond highlights in her hair.
There are times that being a 'good friend' really sucks canal
water.  Love Canal Water, to be precise.  But I knew what I had
to do.  Or at least I thought I knew.  I heaved myself to my
feet, walked back to the table and returned with another chair.  

	"Did you talk to Sean?"  I hadn't even gotten into my
seat before she asked.

	"Yeah, he told me the news," I answered guardedly.  "I
think he's going to take the offer.  He doesn't really have much
desire to play football if he doesn't have to."

	"Well, you should know."  She laughed mirthlessly, "So,
weren't the two of you going to be going to school, together?"
She asked with a narrowing of her eyes.

	There was something seriously wrong here.  "We were
thinking about it.  What about you, have you decided where you're
going?"  I felt like I was dancing in a minefield. It wasn't
something that I was used to doing.  Karen and I had always been
able to say almost anything to each other, and now something had
changed.  I was not happy.  

"Well," she snapped, "I thought I knew where I wanted to go.  But
now I'm not so sure."  She jerked her head around and glared at
me, and there was pain in her eyes.  

	"What's wro-"

	"You know, I always thought of myself as a pretty good
judge of people.  Even back then, I always thought we could tell
each other everything."  Uh-oh.  This was bad; this was very,
very bad.  "I couldn't figure it out for the longest time.  It
never made any sense.  Until tonight.  Tonight when I came
downstairs to see Sean, there was something wrong.  Everyone else
in the room was at least interested in what was on the screen."

	"Oh shit."  It just slipped out, because I had finally
figured out what was going on.  Or so I thought.

	"That's right.  Even if they weren't staring at the
screen, they'd still look to see what was going on.  Everyone
except Sean.  And then it all started to fit together.  Why he's
never been interested in me.  I've been after him since junior
high."  My eyes widened in surprise at this revelation.  "No, I
didn't tell you.  It's only lately that I stopped being...
subtle.  And never once did he show even the slightest interest.
At first I thought he wanted to date one of the older girls, a
senior or something, instead of someone his age, back when we
were freshmen.  I thought that for a long time.  Then I thought
it was me... that there was something wrong with me.  Over the
last couple of months I'd finally managed to realize that it
wasn't going to happen.  But it didn't make any sense!

	"And now I finally realized what was going on."  She
paused and then went on in a rush, "It was killing me, and you
knew it!  You could have told me, you bastard!  But you decided
to let me make an ass of myself for your amusement."  At some
point, she had started to cry.  Her voice was still steady, but
there were tears running down her cheeks.  "I hate you for that,"
she trailed off, starting to sob.  

"Karen, don't you think I wanted to tell you?  But I couldn't.  I
spent hours trying to convince him to tell you himself.  He was
too scared of what might happen.  Can you imagine what this place
would be like if people found out?  Hell, the only other people
that know are my parents."

	"You told your parents, but you couldn't tell me, even
when you knew what it was doing to me?" she raged quietly.  "You
evil bastard.  I hate you!  I hate you!"  She turned in her chair
and started swinging at me as she kept repeating it over and over
and over.  She was a helluva lot stronger than her small frame
would lead you to believe, and some of those punches hurt.  I
grabbed her wrists and held them tight.  She stopped struggling
after a moment and sat back sobbing.  I looked around to see if
anyone had noticed what had gone on.  The other people were at
least 30 feet away, and were far to involved in packing the bowl
and passing the smoke to have realized what was going on.  

	"You can let me go now," she said quietly between the
sobs.  I released her and sat back to try and collect my thoughts
and figure out what to do next.

	"And, for your information, Karen, I didn't tell my
parents.  Sean did.  He asked me if they would be able to handle
it, and I told him that they would.  It was his decision, not
mine."  I felt like shit.  Karen was hurting, badly.  And I was
the one, who caused it.  She didn't seem to blame Sean for being
gay, which was a relief.  But she did blame me for not trusting
her enough to tell her.  Which hurt.  

"Whatever."  That wasn't terribly encouraging.  "Whatever.  I
just hope the two of you will be happy together," she said with
her eyes burning.

	"Hey, it's not like we don't know each oth..er."  I
trailed off.  And it finally hit me.  OK, so I'm not particularly
fast on the uptake.  Particularly when it came to interacting
with other people.  I may have been the most socially graceful of
the "Weirdo Geniuses" running around the school, but hell that
doesn't really mean much, does it?  In the Kingdom of the Blind,
the one-eyed man is King.  When I finally realized what she was
saying, and thinking I sat back in complete astonishment.  And
then I did something I probably shouldn't have done.  I laughed.
I tend to do that at the most inopportune times.  I couldn't help
myself.  Maybe I should have been insulted, she obviously thought
I was gay too.  She watched me go through this in total
confusion.  My reaction was so unexpected that even the tears
stopped.  At least for her.  I was laughing so hard that I
started to cry.  My outburst only lasted a few minutes.  "You
thought I was..." I said gasping.  "That Sean and I..." I caught
my breath and finally regained my senses.  Fortunately I had been
smart enough to keep the gales of laughter somewhat muted.  "I
hate to burst your balloon, but Sean is gay, not me.  He's my
friend, not my lover."  As I ran through it, I thought about how
Sean was going to react when he heard the news.  That would be a
good one.

	"But I thought...  I mean, I just assumed," Karen
mumbled.  She bent her head down and it seemed as though she was
starting on another round of sobs.  After only a few seconds,
however, I realized that she was laughing almost as hard as I had
been.  "I'm sorry, but it made sense.  It was the only thing I
could think of that made sense.  You never date, I've never seen
you with a girl and you even turned down Kristine when she asked
you to go to the prom!  I just thought..." She trailed off in
another burst of relieved giggles.  "That's why I couldn't tell
you!  If we were lovers, then I could have told you, because it
would have been my secret as well.  But I didn't have the right
to tell his secret, no matter that I thought you deserved to
know!  He didn't want to tell me in the first place, and I'm his
best friend."  

	"You're not gay?" she giggled under her breath.  

"Surprise," I said quietly.  "You know, this is why I came out
looking for you tonight.  I talked to Sean and finally convinced
him that you needed to know...  And look what happened."  I let
loose a big sigh, "I finally convinced him, and you had already
figured it out." 

"What made him change his mind?"

	"I was worried about you.  I knew you had applied to
some, if not all, of the same schools he did.  How would you like
to find out about him because you saw him walking through the
quad, hand in hand with his new lover?"

	"Ouch."  She winced at the idea.

	"Exactly.  At least tonight, you had someone to beat on,"
I said with a rueful grin. 

	"I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed.   "I was just so mad..." I
caught her hand in mine and gave it a quick squeeze.  "It's all
right.  I don't blame you, I think I had it coming for a while.
I should have convinced him to tell you long before tonight.  And
if that failed, I should have beat the hell out of him until he
agreed," I said with a smirk.  

	I took a deep breath.  "So, do you still hate me?"  "No!
Of course not.  I was just so mad.  Now that I know I was right
about Sean, it's actually not that big a deal."  I let loose an
explosive breath of relief.  "You were really worried about
that?" she asked in some surprise. 

	"No," I answered quickly.  "Not really.  I knew you'd
handle it, but still.  There's a lot of damage you could do if
you decided to become vindictive.  He's not ready to come out of
the closet yet.  Not here, at least."

	"Finding out he's gay isn't that big a deal.  It didn't
actually hurt that much and at least now I know that it wasn't
me!"  She smiled briefly.  "That wasn't why I was so upset."  She
paused, and it looked like she was searching for words.  "I
actually realized that he was gay, and then my mind went through
and filled in the details, they were the wrong ones, but they
seemed to explain so much.  And that's when things started to go
to pieces."  Her eyes gleamed in the darkness.  "I was so mad at
you both.  I thought you had stood there and let me go along,
while the two of you sat and laughed." 

"Never happen," I said intently.  I reached out my hand and laid
it aside her cheek, gently forcing her face around to look at me
again.  "I'll be here forever and a day.  One way or another."  I
wiped the tear tracks from her cheeks and noticed for the first
time that my hand was trembling, and jerked my hand back.    I
had been in love with Karen for so long that I had gotten quite
good at controlling myself when I was around her.  I could listen
to her describe the details of her latest date without wanting to
run screaming into the hills from frustration.  But this was
overwhelming me.  

"In any case," I stammered, "I'm not gay."  I gave a nervous
grin.  "Feel better now?"  Yeah, it was stupid and inane.  But I
had to get the conversation off of this topic or I was probably
going to embarrass myself even further.  And then something went
'CLICK' in my head.  "Wait a minute!  You knew I wasn't gay!  All
right, maybe you could have thought I was bi," I allowed.  "But I
told you about what happened last summer."  Sean and Karen had
gotten fairly accurate versions of what had gone on at camp the
previous summer.  The only thing that I had glossed over was the
intensity of my feelings.  I couldn't very well tell them what I
didn't know myself.  Her face took on a faintly surprised look,
well it had been going around most of the night.  

"Oh, that."  She didn't seem too pleased that I had brought it
up.  "Well, umm, to tell you the truth, it wasn't all that hard
for me to convince myself that you were just making that up.  You
know, to save face?"

	Apparently, my face spoke volumes.  "Come on, Dave.  A
girl at camp?  An older college girl?  Could it be any more of a
cliché?" Part of me was could understand.  When she said it like
that, it did sound a little... contrived.  

"I don't know what bothers me more," I said.  "The fact that you
thought I could lie to you like that, or the fact that you
thought I was that bad a liar."  Only part of me could
understand.  Another part was fuming.  "I can't believe thought
that I would concern myself with 'saving face' in front of you.
Especially about something so fucking trivial."  Until that
point, I had either been scared or relieved.  For the first time
in the discussion, I was mad.  And she knew it.

	We were quiet for a few minutes while I calmed down.  It
was a stupid thing to get that upset over, and I knew it.
Eventually, I reached out and squeezed her hand, and flashed a
quick smile.  It's the smile that you give to someone to smooth
things over, the one that says 'Don't worry, it's no big deal.'
She wasn't convinced either, but she was smart enough to let it
lay.  

	"I do have a question, though," she said.

	"I've probably got an answer."

	"If you're not gay, why haven't you ever made a pass at
me?  That's part of the reason I thought that you and Sean...
All this time, you never made a pass at me, you never asked me
out, nothing..." Oh shit.  I had buried these feelings a long
time ago, and I really wasn't in any mood to have an autopsy.  I
waited a long time before answering her question, hoping that
she'd realize I didn't really want to and withdraw it.  No such
luck, she wanted an answer and, by God, she was going to get it.

	"What would you have done if I had?" Maybe I could still
finesse my way around this one.  

	She took just as long to answer my question, as I had to
answer hers.  "I don't know."

	I had a chance, depending on how the next round went.
"And, no matter how you reacted, you never would have looked at
me the same way again, would you?"  She hesitated, not wanting to
say the obvious answer.  "Would you?" I pressed.

	"No," she admitted grudgingly.  "It would have confused
the hell out of me, I guess.  Especially with the way I felt
about Sean.  It probably would have freaked me out."

	"Exactly.  I've known how you felt about Sean for a long
time."  I laughed, "Maybe not since junior high, but long enough.
And it wasn't hard to figure out how you'd react, even if I
didn't wind up with a slap across my face."  I took her hand and
squeezed it tight.  

"I'm so sorry..." she tried to apologize again.

	"Shhh," I interrupted her before she could get started.
"I know.  It really is all right.  From your point, it was
understandable.  I don't blame you for it.  It just surprised me,
that's all.  I mean, imagine one of your best friends thinking
your gay.  It's a bit of a shock to the system."  I managed to
grin and keep it lighthearted.  I was even rewarded by another
giggle.  It was wonderful to make her laugh again.

"Thanks Dave," she said.

"Thanks?  For what?"  I was confused again.

	"For coming out here to talk to me.  For convincing Sean
to tell me what was going on.  You guys could have just ignored
things and let me go on the way I was."

	I tried to shrug it off.  "It was the right thing to do,
you deserved to know.  And, although I didn't know it before,
there is no way that I could have let you go on, the way you
were.  Not after I knew what it was doing to you."  

	She reached across and gave me a hug, a nice tight one.
It felt good.  I knew that whatever might have happened tonight,
disaster had been averted for the moment.  It also seemed like a
good time to make a graceful exit.  No sense in tempting fate.
The feelings that, just a few moments ago, I thought were so well
buried were threatening to break out of their confinement.
Things were weird enough right now without that added baggage.  

	"Karen, are you okay now?"  I wanted to make sure things
were back on an even keel before slinking away.  

	She nodded and murmured, "Yes, I think I'm all right
now."

	I pulled back and looked into her eyes, "Sure?"

	"Uh-huh."

	She seemed more together.  More like what I was used to
seeing, without the guarded hostility that was so evident just a
few moments before.  There was also something else.  Something I
should have noticed.  But, it had been a rough night and I wasn't
as attuned as I should have been.  "All right, I think I'm going
to take off.  This really isn't exactly my thing.  Allen and
James dragged me here tonight.  Well, you know what I meant," I
finished, in reaction to the questioning look on her face.  "Give
me a call tomorrow, okay?" She nodded a little vaguely and I
pulled away.  I grabbed the chair I had been sitting on and
carried it back to the table.  She joined me and we walked back
into the house.  We stopped to talk to Sean for a moment, letting
him know what had gone on.  His reaction was almost as good as
mine must have been.  Sean and Karen hugged, to show there were
no hard feelings.  Although I think Karen was still hurt by what
had happened, she wasn't going to be petty about it.  She
understood why, she just didn't like it.  I said goodbye to Sean,
promising to talk to him the next day, as did Karen.  I knew they
had a lot more to talk about, but the middle of the party
probably wasn't the best arena in which to air that discussion.  

	I headed up the stairs, somewhat surprised to find that
Karen was following close behind.  I figured she had decided to
circulate upstairs and dismissed it from my mind.  It wasn't my
first mistake of the evening, but definitely one of the larger
ones.  There were even more people crammed into the house than
when I had arrived.  Leaving now was a good choice.  If I was
jammed in here for very long, I was going to go very nuts, very
quickly.  Making my way through the crush in the dining room, I
glanced back and saw that Karen was still there.  I reached back
and she took my hand.  We slowly pressed through the people,
eventually making to the front door.  The front porch was only a
little quieter than inside, and I had to raise my voice to be
heard.  "Are you leaving too?"  I almost shouted.

	She shrugged and brought her face close to mine, "It
depends."

	"On what?"

	"On this," she said and pressed her lips to mine.
Everything seemed to fade away.  My heart was like a trip hammer
in my chest.  This was the moment that I'd been waiting to have
for six years.  It seemed to go on forever.  Our lips met and
danced together, sliding against each other, questing and
tasting.  I felt myself getting light headed.  At first it I
thought it was simply an overdose of hormones, but it got worse
and worse.  I finally realized what was happening.  I was so
totally focused on the sensations that I actually stopped
breathing.  I forced myself to break away, my only other option
was fainting, and that probably wouldn't have been a good choice.
In retrospect, perhaps it would have. 

I pulled away, gasping to recover my breath.  There were spots
before my eyes, and I could barely stand on wobbly knees.  And
then something clicked, I actually realized what had just
happened.  For years, I've been on the outside looking in.  After
she started chasing Sean, I started to pull back.  I started to
bury that stuff, down deep where I thought they'd be safe,
somewhere where they couldn't hurt me anymore.  And then I met
Melissa.  For the first time, I realized that I could love
someone else and the world wouldn't come crashing down around me.
All of a sudden, all those emotions came storming to the surface.
But they were mixed up with my feelings for Melissa.  Like some
goddamn witch's brew, bubbling and percolating through my fucking
head.  I did what any red-blooded American coward would do.  I
ran.  I did not pass 'GO'; I did not collect two hundred dollars.
I just ran.  I was in the car and pulling out of the driveway
inside of a minute, leaving Karen standing on the porch with a
look of shock that quickly faded to indignation.  There was going
to be hell to pay, at some point in the very near future, but at
that point, I had to get out.


Chapter 11

	The drive had been an adventure, but I'd made it up here
to my own little spot on top of the hill.  And I still wasn't any
closer to figuring things out than when I initiated my inglorious
retreat a couple of hours ago.  I had never been as happy as
those months with Melissa last summer, but tonight had cast
everything in a different light.  It hadn't been the fear of
'cheating' on Melissa that had sent me screaming into the night,
figuratively if not literally.  It had been the implications of
what had happened between Karen and I, and what it meant for the
future, be it long or short term.  Melissa and I had exchanged no
promises, no vows, both of us realizing that was a little
premature, considering the situation.  It might have been nice to
promise eternal love and fidelity, but we were both too smart and
pragmatic to fall into that trap.  

	No, the events of tonight and my less that impressive
reaction to them had nothing to do with Melissa, not directly at
least.  No, I realized that I had done this to myself.  It
stemmed from years of adolescent schoolboy fantasies, which I
managed to find a way to bury, but no exorcise.  Holding them at
arm's length didn't seem to be a viable option anymore, but I
hadn't been able to come up with an alternative yet.  

	The flash of headlights playing over my face interrupted
my unproductive musings.  I hadn't even noticed the car pulling
up in front of me, and I wasn't pleased.  Just about the last
thing that I needed was company.  The headlights went out and I
could recognize Sean's beat up old truck sitting there.  Sean I
could handle, although why he thought I'd be here was a bit of a
mystery to me.  It slowly dawned on me how he knew when I
realized that there were two figures in the truck, and I was
afraid I knew who the other one was.  Sean got out and walked
between the cars sitting nose to nose, and came over to my
window.  I rolled it down and waited resignedly.  

"Heard there was a little adventure out on the front porch
tonight." He certainly didn't waste any time.  Then again, we
knew each other far to well to have to engage in verbal fencing
for anything other than our amusement.  And this was definitely
not the right time.  

"Uh, yeah, you could say that," I managed.  "Let me guess,
Karen?"  

"Got it in one.  She said the two of you have unfinished business
and wanted me to give her a ride to your place."  He rolled his
eyes and continued, "Once she told me what had happened, I
figured you'd be here, instead of home."

	"Gee, thanks," I said dryly.  "You couldn't have played
dumb just this once, could you?"

	It was a joke, mostly, but he answered seriously anyway.
"No, actually, not this time.  I think the two of you need to
talk, at the very least."

	The tone of his voice told me more than his words.  "Oh
no." 

"Exactly.  She's not that drunk, but she was on her way."  He
paused thoughtfully. "And I don't think it would have been good
to have her drunk off her ass in the middle of that part, not
with everything that went down tonight," he finished
meaningfully.  

"Yeah, yeah, yeah...  I know."  He was right, and that was the
bitch of it.  Things had been going along just fine until I
screwed things up and it was up to me to put them right again.
But I didn't have to like it, and I didn't.

	He slapped my shoulder and walked back to the truck,
stopping at the passenger door.  Karen got out, and they spoke
for a moment.  Exchanging a hug and kiss on the cheek, she headed
to my car while Sean climbed into the truck and pulled out.

	His horn sounded as he passed and I watched his tail
lights disappear down the hill.  The car door opened and Karen
slipped in on the other side of the front seat.  I had cursed
that huge bench seat earlier in the evening, while trying to take
those turns at 70 miles an hour, but at the moment, that wide
expanse of ugly brown vinyl was a huge comfort to me.  The
silence stretched out between us.  Even though 'we needed to
talk' neither of us was anxious to be the first one to speak.

	Finally, after what seemed like an hour of nothing but
the sounds of the night wafting in through the open windows, she
broke the silence.  "I thought you said you weren't gay."  As an
opening gambit went, it wasn't bad.

	"I'm not," I sighed.  "I promise."

	"Then what the hell were you doing?"  Her voice was flat
and more than a little hostile.  "Was the kiss that bad?"

	"Hardly.  Let's just say that it was a little more than I
expected.  Okay?"  

	"No, it's not okay."  She paused and took a deep breath.
"I finally figured out why Sean isn't interested in me, and now
this happens.  It's not fair!"

	I had no idea how to reply.  I didn't think the idea of
proclaiming my love, as much of a relief as it would be, wasn't
really an option.  No matter what had happened on the porch, I
was still pretty certain that she didn't feel the same way about
me.  

	She was impatient, as usual, and decided to prod things
along in her own, inimitable way.  She flowed up against me, her
lips pressing against mine as her tongue slipped into my mouth.
I did what I could to keep up.  Apparently, it was enough.

	"Wow," she murmured.  Obviously, she recovered faster
than I did.  Well, that's fair, she wasn't taken by surprise.
All I could do was nod vigorously in mute agreement.  "I guess
she did teach you a few things," she said a little archly.
Another warning sign missed.  "Are you going to run away this
time?"

	"Mmmmm, I doubt it."  

	"You know," she drawled slowly, "my parents aren't home
tonight."  She smiled a wicked little grin.  "They had a banquet
in the city and decided to stay for the night."  

	Without saying a word, I unwrapped my arms from around
her long enough to get the car started and moving.  Keeping one
arm on the steering wheel, I guided the car carefully down the
rutted road, trying to fight the part of my brain that sat in the
corner screaming "Faster, faster, faster!"  It was a losing
battle.

	For her part, Karen didn't seem willing to wait the few
minutes to get to her house.  As soon as the last of the gravel
road fell behind us, she moved away slightly, her hand running
over the hard bulge in my pants.  I had been hard since the
moment the first kiss had ended and I was actually capable of
understanding what had happened.  "You've got it all nice and
hard for me, don't you?" she asked teasingly.  Without
hesitation, her hands were busy unbuttoning my pants.  She slowly
dragged the zipper down, while I slipped my arm free arm around
her shoulders.  Spreading my pants apart, she lowered the elastic
band of my underwear down.  Released from its confinement, my
cock sprang upright.  She emitted a little sigh of pleasure and
gripped it tightly.  It wasn't all that large, falling just
barely above 'average', if Kinsey was to be believed.  Karen,
however, didn't seem to be too disappointed.  After a few seconds
of stroking the shaft, she bent her head and sucked the head into
her mouth.  The sensation was startling, to say the least.  After
a minor bobble, I got the car under control again and kept going,
albeit at a reduced speed.  Thankfully, I hadn't been going very
fast in the first place.  She hadn't even twitched when the car
had swerved, seemingly completely absorbed in her task.  I
managed to find my way back the twisting roads without killing us
in the process, although Karen wasn't a great deal of help.  She
seemed intent on playing, her tongue running over the tip, then
sliding her lips down over it in a taut tight circle.  She made
little humming noises as she did so, and her legs flexed
rhythmically, which convinced me that she was enjoying it almost
as much as I was.  

	There was plenty of room between my lap and the steering
wheel, a feature of the huge car that I had heretofore been
completely unappreciative.  She shifted positions and showed me,
directly, the folly of my ways.  Rolling over so that she lay
facing the seat with her head in my lap, she proceeded to play
the tip of her tongue on the underside of my cock, running it
along the length of the shaft from the glans to my balls.
Gasping at the new feeling shooting through my body, I took a
tighter grip on the steering wheel.  We were within a few hundred
yards of her driveway, and I didn't want to end up dead in a
ditch when we were so close.  I felt like my fingers were making
indentations in the hard plastic, my knuckles white because I was
squeezing so hard.  

	That last stretch of road before the turn seemed to go on
forever, drawing out in front of me like the hallway in
Poltergeist.  There was nothing supernatural about this effect,
however, and we eventually reached our destination.  Pulling to a
stop in front of the garage, I didn't know whether to be thankful
for arriving safely or to be disappointed because it was all
going to end in a few seconds.  I compromised by simply sagging
limply back against the headrest, completely absorbed in the
feelings that were radiating out from my cock.  No sooner had the
engine died away, Karen began to get serious about what she was
doing.  The sense of play was gone immediately, and she engulfed
me, drawing my entire length into her mouth with deliberate
slowness.  Inch by inch it went, and there were far too few
inches for my liking.  But she didn't hesitate.  When her lips
encircled the base of my cock, she simply reversed herself,
raising her head as slowly as she had lowered it.  It felt as if
I was on fire.  She pulled her mouth away, replacing it quickly
with two agile hands, that worked together to drive me to the
very edge.  I knew, without question, that I wasn't going to last
very long and told her so.  

	"Oh yes," she said in return.  "Cum for me, Dave.  Cum
for me.  I want to feel it shoot into my mouth.  Cum for me.  Cum
for me.  All hot and sticky..." she trailed off and lowered her
head, hovering over my trembling hips with her mouth wide open.
Her hands increased their tempo, and I felt the muscles in my
legs tense, and knew she'd get her wish in a matter of seconds.
When it finally happened, I felt like a fountain, pulsing jets of
semen up into her mouth.  As soon as the first drops hit her
mouth, she moaned and dropped her face down closer, catching ever
bit of it.  My hips began to buck, and she moved her head in
response, sucking each drop off as it emerged.  When the shudders
finally subsided, I was completely drained both literally and
figuratively.  At least for the moment.  My first ever blowjob
and it had been worth the wait.  After tucking things away, I
reached into my pocket and pulled out a cigarette.  I really
didn't smoke that much, but at that moment, I truly needed one. 

	"Mmmmm."  She seemed quite peppy, and I hoped she didn't
actually expect an answer yet.  It was taking all my strength
just to keep the lighter still enough to light the cigarette.
"I'm going to go inside and get ready.  Come downstairs when
you're done.  You can't smoke in the house, my parents would
freak."  Then she was out the door and walking away towards the
house.  She stopped after about ten feet, whirled around and made
her way back to the car.  She leaned on the door next to me,
dropping down to bring her face level with mine.  I was almost
afraid of what was coming next.  Sometimes my instincts are
right.

	"Thanks for coming back with me tonight.   It's really
important, after everything that happened.  When I finally
realized about Sean... I didn't know what I was going to do.  And
then you came out to talk to me and made everything all right
again.  And I realized what I wanted, what I needed.  I needed to
be with someone tonight."  She swayed a little, and I realized
that she was just a little drunker than she looked.  "I'm really
glad it's you."

	I was starting to get a nice warm feeling; no, it wasn't
a declaration of eternal love, but it was something.  And then
the duck fell from the sky and hit me on the head.

	"And besides," she giggled.  "I really didn't want to go
back and find someone else at the party to fuck, they're all to
drunk!"  With that she leaned in to give me a quick kiss on the
cheek and danced back up to the house.

	I watched, stunned, as the lights come on as she made her
way slowly through the house.  A fuck.  All she wanted was a
fuck.  My heart was again hammering in my chest, although it was
very different that what I had been feeling even a few moments
before.  I thought I was going to throw up.  All those dreams
that had been raised from the dead were now dying again, twisting
in the wind while she danced along; completely unaware of the
havoc she wreaked.  I wanted to get out of there, as fast as
possible and as far away as possible.  The idea of going in there
was more than I could handle.  The ember of my cigarette, burning
uncomfortably close to my fingers brought me out of my unpleasant
thoughts.  I wasn't going to run away again.  Not this time.
Maybe I really am that stupid.  Maybe I'm just a glutton for
punishment.  Maybe it's the only time I'll ever get the chance.
And maybe, just maybe, there's a little tinge of revenge to it.
If she wanted a fuck, maybe I'd be able to give her one that
she'd remember for quite a while.

	I just wondered if I could do it.  For that matter, I
wondered where she had learned the technique, which I had just
experienced.  From what I had heard of the school gossip, none of
the guys had been bragging about having gotten anywhere with her.
Although she had been chasing Sean, she hadn't refrained from
dating.  She'd worked her way through most of the 'upper echelon'
of guys over the last few years.  Never more than a few dates in
a row with any of them, she'd go weeks before saying 'yes' to the
next guy.  But none of them, as far as I was aware, had been able
to go any further than a 'make out' session.  She had a
reputation as something of a "look but don't touch" kind of girl.
Either the guys were much better at keeping her mouths shut than
I had believed possible or she was getting her tutoring from
other avenues.

	I crushed out the cigarette and followed her, somewhat
belatedly, into the house.  I walked through the house, moving
from one room to another.  In each room, I found a piece of her
clothes.  The front hall had her shoes while the living room held
her shirt, draped over one of the overstuffed easy chairs.  Her
panties were hanging on the railing on the stairs down to the
basement.  She didn't waste time; I had to give her that.  There
was a dim glow that lit the foot of the stairs.  The basement
itself was the standard finished family room.  It even came with
a pool table, which stood a few feet behind the sofa.  A floor
lamp, situated deep in the corner was the source of the warm glow
I had seen from the head of the stairs.  Eventually, my gaze
found its way to Karen, lying languidly on the couch.
Fortunately, it wasn't the first time I'd ever seen a woman
naked, or I may have fainted dead away at the sight.  Her black
hair was spread almost like a fan over the pillows. As she lay
there, my eyes played over her body, revealed for the first time,
at least to me.  Her breasts were every bit as full and firm as
they had seemed under the fuzzy sweaters that had first captured
my attention in junior high.  They had grown since then, but then
again, so had I.  Wide dark nipples contrasted sharply from the
pale flesh around them, even in the dim light of the room.  She
opened her eyes to look at me, almost in faint surprise.

	"I wondered what was keeping you," she breathed.  "I had
to start without you."  Legs spread slightly, she was keeping
both hands busy, running through the deep triangle of dark hair
that covered her pussy.  She swung herself into a half-sitting
position on the couch and opened her legs, giving me a better
view.  "Like what you see?"  I hoped that was a rhetorical
question.  "Come over here and show me what you can do.  Show me
what you learned."

	Damn right, I would.  I covered the short space between
us with studied casualness.  As far as she was concerned, this
was just another fuck, and she'd never know different, not from
me.  I leaned over her and gave her a kiss just as she had given
me, searching and demanding with my mouth.  Trailing my tongue
down her chin and neck, I stopped and ran my mouth over her full
breasts.  They stood up as firm and proud as eighteen-year-old
tits should.  Her nipples were something new, though.  They stood
out from the areola like two dark erasers.  They were long, hard
and appeared to be very sensitive.  Dragging my teeth across them
cause her to squirm underneath my weight. 

	"Come on, fuck me, Dave.  Put your cock in me and fuck
me."  She was actually pleading.  That brought me up short.  I
certainly wasn't ready to start fucking, and I was shocked that
she would be, at this point.

	"Are you in a hurry to finish up?"  I asked
sarcastically.  "If I'm keeping you up late, I can always leave."


	"NO!  I want you to fuck me!  I'm ready for you to fuck
me!"  She was almost panting in her eagerness.  "I already sucked
your cock, didn't I?  What are you waiting for?  I want your cock
in my cunt," she demanded.

	Well, that answered at least one of my many questions.
Whomever it was that she had been practicing on, he wasn't very
eager to go down on a woman, the poor bastard.  "What am I
waiting for?"  I repeated.  "I'll show you."  I slid down her
torso, continuing the journey I had started before being waylaid
by her gorgeous tits.  Her pubic hair was thick and tightly
curled, lying in ringlets close to her skin.  She moaned in
surprise as I ran my tongue down the length of her slit for the
first time.  She tried to utter a half-hearted protest, but it
was quickly smothered by an even stronger moan when I slid my
tongue between her lips.  She wasn't kidding about being ready,
either.  I could taste the juices that flowed out of her pussy
when my tongue entered.  Describing how women taste is a futile
exercise, maybe the most futile anyone can engage in.  The
closest I could come to defining her taste was to compare it to
Melissa.  Where Melissa was fruity, with an almost citrus taste,
Karen was muskier, reminding me of cinnamon.  Suffice to say it
was delicious and I proceeded to enjoy myself.  Pulling back the
hood to expose her clit, I brushed my tongue over it lightly. 

	She actually screamed in reaction to the touch of my
tongue.  My head jerked up of its own accord. "What's the
matter," I asked worriedly.  I wanted to give her the fuck of her
life; that would be revenge enough for me.  I actually had no
desire to hurt her.  Well, not much of a desire. 

	I smothered my grin by burying my face back into her wet
snatch.  Now that I knew she was so sensitive, I wanted to be
very careful to start easy and build the intensity slowly.  I
spread her tight little lips with my fingers and used my tongue
to sweep long slow strokes over her exposed pussy, sliding my
tongue a little deeper between the lips on each pass.  At the top
of each stroke, I very lightly flicked her clit.  Each time my
tongue touched her clit, she let another moan out and her hips
gave a sharp twitch. If possible, she was getting even wetter
that she was when we started.  I could actually see her fluids
running down her swollen pussy, forming tiny rivulets as they
wound their way down the folds of her cunt.  

	Opening wide, I slid forward and covered all I could with
my mouth, sucking her lips inside and gently nibbling on them.
Her hips strained upwards, following the pull of my mouth.
Suddenly, her hips were bucking wildly.  She started screaming in
earnest as I sucked harder and harder at the tender morsel in my
mouth.  Certainly more vocal than Melissa, she also seemed much
easier to bring to orgasm, which was going to make my job a lot
simpler.  The screams put me rather on edge, until I realized,
somewhat sheepishly, that, at least tonight, we didn't have to
worry about being overheard.  Although I hadn't had a great deal
of experience, it was clear even to me that she was cumming.  Her
body was rigid, touching the couch only enough to support her
head and ass.  If she was wet before, suddenly she was flowing
like a river, inundating my mouth with the hot warm evidence of
her orgasm.  For a fleeting moment, I thought she had lost
control of her bladder, but the lack of the characteristic odor
quickly overrode my worries.  She was just cumming, in buckets.
I kept moving my lips over her, trying to extend the orgasm as
long as possible.  It was a heady experience to taste the results
of my exertions in such a direct manner.  

	Eventually, though, her movements and noises began to
slacken, and I started to slow my ministrations, resuming the
long gentle strokes along her now sodden slit.  All that, without
ever really working on her clit, and in such a short time.
Collapsing back onto the couch, she opened her eyes and pulled
me, by my hair, up along her body.  I began to tease her with
kisses.  Brushing my lips along hers, letting her tongue catch my
lips for a second, then pulling away.  It was enough to start her
moaning in frustration.  

	"Kiss me, damnit.  I can smell my cum on you.  I want to
taste it.   Let me taste my cum."

	Well, now that I knew she wanted it that bad...  I kept
teasing her, staying close let her get a good taste every so
often.  Even with all the teasing, it didn't take her long to
clean every last drop from my face.  I rolled over to recline
next to her on the couch.  Leaning on one elbow, I ran my free
hand down her body, trailing my fingers down to her pussy once
more.  Spreading her lips, I slipped my finger inside.  She
immediately pushed her hips up to meet the palm of my hand.  I
slid my finger back and forth inside her, drawing it out until it
was just barely resting between her tight little lips.  Pausing
for a moment, I drove it back inside her, the palm of my hand
actually slapping into the blistering flesh of her pussy.  Her
hands gripped the cushions of the couch, grasping so tightly that
her knuckles actually started to turn white.  She spread her legs
wide, draping one over mine as we lay next to each other.  For
the first time since I knelt in front of her, I realized that I
was still completely dressed.  I hadn't even taken the time to
kick off my shoes.  

	Karen's moans were growing louder and louder, accompanied
by her bucking hips.  She was getting close, again. Releasing her
death-grip on the couch, she covered my hand with hers, forcing
my hand tighter against her and sliding her hips back and forth
against the pressure of my hand.  I managed to force my thumb
under my palm and into contact with her clit.  As if I had
flipped a switch, the effect was instantaneous.  The low throaty
moans slid up the register, ending up as staccato screams of
pleasure.  She used my hand as a dildo, timing the strokes to
coincide with the thrusts of her hips.  Within seconds of the
change, I felt the now expected flood of her juices leaking past
my finger and down her lips once again.  I slipped my hand from
under hers, while she continued slowly massaging her mound.
Holding my fingers up to catch the light glistening on her
wetness, I saw her eyes immediately locked onto the sight.  I
thought that perhaps it was a good time to find out just how much
she did like the taste of herself.  I slowly moved my finger up
to her face, causing her eyes to widen in anticipation. 

 "Oh, yes," she murmured.  "Give it too me...  Let me taste my
cunt...  My hot sticky cum covering your finger.  I want it."
She was begging, almost whimpering under her breath.  I had to
strain just to hear what she was saying.  I rubbed my finger over
her lips, giving her a taste, but pulling it away whenever she
tried to suck it into her mouth.  Each time I drew my finger
back, she moaned in frustration and the quiet begging began
again.  After repeating this a number of times, it finally dawned
on me that she wasn't trying to turn me on by talking dirty; she
was turning herself on.  

	Her hands moved faster and faster over her clit as she
mumbled the words to herself over and over again.  It became a
litany, the words tumbling over themselves as she spoke faster
and faster.  At one point, she apparently licked off all the
fragrant residue, and wanted more.  Without missing a beat, she
spread the lips of her pussy.  "More, I want more.  Give it to
me."  I could hardly hear her; but then again, it wasn't very
necessary.  I could figure out what she meant without the words.
I quickly slipped my hand down, away from her face and started
toying with her spread lips.  "Oh yes.  Put it in me.  Fuck my
cunt with your fingers.  Get them nice and sticky for me.  Fuck
me...  Hot sticky cunt..." It had gone past turning me on, and
had now started to get distracting.  She lay there, muttering
over and over to herself.  I was starting to feel like a six-foot
tall dildo.  But, I intended to try to fulfill all those demands.
Her hands were still holding her apart while she moaned
insistently.  I pushed first one finger, then another inside.  I
could feel that she was even more relaxed now than when we had
started, so I tried slipping one more finger into her pussy.  It
went in easily, meeting almost no resistance from her slick
flesh.  Bunched tightly together, I moved my fingers back and for
the inside her, sliding around in the wet tunnel.  I pushed into
her as deeply as I could go, causing her eyes to roll back and
her moans to grow louder.  This time I didn't need to figure out
for myself when she was about to cum, she told me.  And anyone
else in the time zone.  "Oh yes!  I'm cumming, again.  Make me
cum again," she urged.  Her body bucked back and forth along side
me.   "Again, again, again, again..." She finally ground to a
halt, her voice trailing of as her body slowed its shudders.  I
pulled my fingers from her, pulling against the suction created
by her strong muscles.  When they popped free, they were
literally dripping wet.  Slowly moving them up her body, they
created a trail of small droplets, glistening like dew on her
pale skin.  

	I realized that she had done almost all the talking since
I'd come inside, and that was going to change.  "Do you want it,
all nice and wet," I asked with a smirk, holding my fingers just
out of her reach.  "Come on, Karen, tell me how much you want
that hot pussy juice."  I wasn't sure how'd she react, but with
what I had seen so far, it certainly seemed reasonable.  

	If I had hoped for an effect, I wasn't prepared for what
I got.  Her eyes snapped open and stared at me.  For almost a
minute, she lay there, her eyes traveled between my face and my
fingers sitting only a few inches from her lips.  I thought I had
somehow crossed an unknown line and taken a step into no man's
land.  My whole world was knocked off its access with that first
kiss tonight, and I hadn't been able to get it back.  Everything
had been so unexpected, so unplanned, so... surprising, this
shouldn't have been, and wasn't, any different.  But it felt like
I was trying to dance a waltz in the middle of a minefield.  

	After the long pause, I expected her to read me the riot
act.  Once more, I proved myself to be almost incompetent in
judging people, as though the court needed any more evidence.
She closed her eyes again and started to speak very quietly.
"Please, Dave, let me taste my cum.  I want to taste my cunt
juices.  Please let me have it.  I want it so bad." Her voice had
the same almost dreamy quality to it, still speaking more to
herself than anything else.  But her eyes told me that something
had changed.  They opened again, glittering in the dim light.
She looked at me expectantly.  I didn't know if she was waiting
for my fingers or more words.  So I gave her both.  

"Lick them clean, Karen," I said, sliding one finger into her
mouth.  "Lick it nice and clean, baby."  She pulled it into her
mouth, sucking it like a miniature dick.  She played with it, the
same way she had played with my cock in the car.  Pushing the
other two wet fingers between her lips, I filled her mouth.
Without hesitating, she took all three of them and continued
sucking greedily.  After a few seconds, I pulled my fingers out,
causing her to emit a small moan of protest.  

	"What's the matter, Karen?"  I taunted.  "A little while
ago, you couldn't wait to have my cock inside." Kicking off my
shoes, I unbuttoned my pants and slipped the down while I teased
her.  Pulling my shirt over my head, I continued "Don't you want
it anymore?  Isn't your hot little cunt ready for it yet?"  I
knew it was, and she kept her fingers sliding in and out of it as
I talked.  "Come on, Karen, show me how much you love that tasty
little cunt.  Clean off those sticky fingers."  She hardly needed
the encouragement, but as soon as I uttered the words, her hand
was out from between her legs and her tongue was running over it,
trying to lick it clean.  While she was busy, I fumbled in the
pile of clothes at my feet, triumphantly pulling my wallet out,
like a rabbit from a magician's hat.  Even though I hadn't run
the risk of using it before tonight, I carried a condom tucked
into one of the folds of my wallet.  I carry it for the same
reason my dad carries a twenty-dollar bill folded up behind his
driver's license.  Just in case.  It was a deeply strange
feeling, pulling the little foil wrapper from the circular groove
it had worn into the leather.  The lubricant was cold when I
rolled it open over my cock, and it gave me a tiny shiver that
ran up the back of my neck.  I stroked myself a couple of times,
making sure things were secured and turned back to Karen.

	She was still lying back on the couch, with her fingers
in her mouth, but her eyes were staring at me, apparently
entranced by my preparations.  "Oh yeah, come here and fuck me,
David.  Stick that gorgeous cock in my hot sticky cunt."  She
spread her legs as she talked.  Her thighs were shiny from the
flood she had unleashed so far, and the light fabric of the couch
highlighted the darkened patch where her wetness had soaked into
the cushion.  

Moving in between her thighs, I knelt down and spread her legs as
far apart as I could.  "Do you really want this nice hard cock?"
I asked, placing the head between her labia.  I grasped the shaft
and rubbed it over the hard nub of her clit.  It was just as
sensitive now as it had been before.  She jerked at the contact,
trying to force her hips down over my cock.

	"Oh god, give it to me, you bastard.  I want that cock.
I need it.  Fuck my hot little cunt with it.  Shove that prick
into my cunt.  Fuck me.  Fuck me till I scream," she demanded.
That shouldn't be too difficult, considering how easy I had been
able to get her to scream already.  I slid the head of my cock
down along her slit, from top to bottom.  I pushed my hips
forward, running the underside of my cock between her puffy lips,
the thick veins rubbing against her clit as they went past.
"Stick it in me, you fucking bastard," she growled in
frustration.  

	After teasing her for so long, I was barely able to
restrain myself.  I centered the head of my dick on her pussy and
plunged into the warm wet depths for the first time.  Although my
three fingers had, only moments before, been stretching her wide,
it was warm and tight, and surrounded me completely.  Grinding my
hips against hers, I leaned forward enough to make sure her clit
was caught between our bodies.  Her legs wrapped around my back,
driving her heels into the small of my back.  She pulled me in
with her legs, loosing my balance I fell forward.  Well, I had
been considering it anyway.  I held myself up with one arm I
while I leaned forward and ran my tongue over her nipples again.
Holding one magnificent tit in my hand, I sucked on the pointy
little knob, dragging my teeth across the pebbly texture.  It was
enough to start her on another litany of talking dirty.  

	"Suck it.  Oh, I love seeing you suck my tits.  Fuck me
harder....  Pump my cunt with your cock."  I dug my teeth in a
little harder and received a shriek of pleasure for my efforts,
as well additional encouragement.  "Oh God, yes.  Bite them.
Yes.  It's so good.  You're cock is so good."  

	Looking up at her while my mouth was busy on her tits, I
saw that was staring back down at me, apparently intent on what
she saw.  Her breasts, although firm, were pliable enough to
allow me to pull them up closer to her face.  Right before her
eyes, I ran my tongue over her nipples and dug my teeth in deep
enough to cause her eyes to widen in a combination of surprise
and arousal.  Arching my body, I made enough space to slip my
hand down between us to her pussy.  She was still soaking.  I ran
my fingers over the sopping folds of her lips, getting them nice
and wet for what I was planning.  I also made sure to give her
hard little clit some attention while I was in the neighborhood.
Unfortunately, well perhaps not 'unfortunately', I gave it a
little too much attention, and she was soon in the throes of yet
another orgasm.  It was getting ridiculous, I knew I wasn't that
good.  Although I loved every minute of it, I knew that I
couldn't let it go to my head.  She was getting off so easily
because it was simply the way she was.  Even I could tell that
much.  But, God, it was a wonderful spectacle to witness.

	I tried to time my thrusts into her with her own motions,
increasing the force with which I entered her.  As our bodies
slapped together, I could hear quick little exhalations that were
pushed out of her from the force of the collision.  However, I
was forced to remove my hand from her clit.  Otherwise, I was
risking a broken wrist from both the contortions I had to go
through to reach it and also the force of the impact of our
bodies.  I quickly brought my hand up and rubbed it over her
breasts, making sure to smear the juices over her nipples.  She
watched me closely as pushed her tit up close to her face once
more, and slowly, slowly lowered my head to lick off the juices I
had deposited there.  "Yes, yes...  Lick it off my tits.  It
looks so sexy like that."  Which of course brought to my mind,
something that I thought would look sexy.  

	"Mmmm, wouldn't you like a nice taste of your pussy right
now, Karen?" I asked tauntingly.  "It's so good and sticky."  She
looked shocked at what I was insinuating.  But it passed quickly
from her face and she leaned her head forward, sticking out her
tongue in an effort to reach the nipple, I held so tantalizingly
close.  It was just out of reach.  If she strained, she could
just barely get the tip of her tongue to touch that hard little
cylinder sticking up from the surrounding flesh.  I could feel
that she was easily flexible enough for me to pull her tits up
close enough for her to get a good lick and perhaps even allow
her to get her lips around it.  But I wasn't going to let it
happen that easily.  

	"Come on Karen, tell me how much you want it.  Tell me
how much you want to feel this hard little nipple in your mouth.
You do want it, don't you?"

	"Give it to me, you prick.  I want to suck my tits.  I
want to taste my cum.  Damn you, David.  Give it too me.  You're
driving me nuts.  I'm so hot.  Your cock is so good in my cunt.
Please, let me taste it...  let me suck my tit."

	Finally relenting, I pushed her tit forward, bringing it
within reach of her greedy little mouth.  Initially, she merely
flicked her tongue over it, bringing it in contact with my own.
I lay on top of her, absently sliding my cock in and out of her
pussy while both our tongues traveled over her nipple.  I
released her breast, causing her to sigh in disappointment.  She
had forgotten, however, that I had already prepared the other
one.  Bringing it up to her face, I held back, allowing her to
have it to herself.  This time, instead of just her tongue, she
was able to get her mouth around it.  As soon as she sucked it up
into her mouth, I started to pound into her pussy with increased
speed.  Her hands slid beneath mine, nearly tearing her tit out
of my grasp and pulling it even closer to her face.  Deprived of
my prize, I straightened up, placing my hands on her knees and
forcing them apart as far as they would go. 

	It made for an impressive image, one I knew I would carry
with me to the end of my days.  Her head bent forward, she paused
only long enough to urge me to pump harder before continuing to
suck and bite at her nipple.  I could feel the familiar sensation
starting at the base of my balls.  I was amazed I had lasted as
long as I had.  The combination of intense concentration, a
previous orgasm and the condom had been just barely enough.  If I
didn't do something very quickly, I was going to cum, long before
she was finished.  It'd be a lousy way to end a stellar evening.
I drove deep into her and held myself, pressing against her while
I wormed my finger down between us to stimulate her clit one more
time.  It was enough...  just barely.  The bucking of her hips
drove me over the edge in a matter of moments, but the
sensitivity of her clit allowed me to bring her right to the
precipice before my body started ignoring what my mind had to
say.  It wasn't mind numbing, but it was a good one.  The blowjob
in the car probably drained me more than I had realized.
Remembering the suction that had built up with my fingers, I made
sure to keep a hold of the condom when I finally pulled my
softening cock out of her.  She seemed to be in a daze, so much
so that I was unsure if she realized that I had cum.  I felt a
little smug.  Hell, I felt very smug.  It seemed that I had done
what I had set out to do.  

	"Karen?"  I spoke quietly, leaning over to kiss her one
more time.  

She stretched and let loose a long sigh, I hoped it was one of
contentment.  "That was great," she murmured.  

I smiled back down at her, trying to match her nonchalance.
"Yeah, it wasn't too bad, at that."  Standing up, I started to
pull on my clothes, much to her surprise.

	"You leaving now?"  She asked incredulously.  

"Karen," I replied patiently, "your parents are gone for the
weekend, not mine.  They expect me home tonight at a decent time.
Or I'm screwed."  I smirked at the unintended pun and she smiled
as well.  "Besides, I seriously doubt I'd be able to get it up if
I had a gun to my head, not after two in a row."  It was one of
my weaknesses, I'd found.  I could normally go quite a long time
without cumming, but one orgasm was usually enough to wipe me out
for the night.  It balanced out.  

	"Well, I thought you might want to stay for a while, you
know, just lie here together for a little bit," she finished
hopefully.  

"No, I don't think so," I said, buttoning up my shirt.  "I'm not
really in the mood.  Besides, it was just a fuck, right?"  Yeah,
it was mean and cruel and underhanded and viscous.  But I'm like
that sometimes.  And it got my point across.  Her eyes widened in
surprise and pain.  And then, like watching the sun come up, I
saw the realization dawn across her beautiful face.  

	I bent over and kissed her quickly.  I wasn't about to
give her a chance to start apologizing and drawing all those
feelings out into the daylight.  Being with her, in just that
way, had allowed me to bury them, there would be no more
questions of 'what if' trailing along behind me as I lived the
rest of my life.  "Thanks for tonight," I murmured.  "It was
great."  I stood and walked quickly to the foot of the stairs.
"Goodbye, Karen," I called on my way upstairs.  There were a few
tears as I drove home alone.  It was a huge part of my life that
I had left behind me in that house.  After you live with
something that long, the absence of it is painful, even when you
know it has to go.  Like an infection that had been excised, it
hurt like hell, but I knew that once it stopped hurting it
wouldn't start again.


Chapter 12

	When I got home, my parents were, sensibly, in bed.  On
my door was a Post-it note, telling me that Melissa had called
while I was out.  After the phone bill topped two hundred dollars
in calls to State College in one month, my parents had, somewhat
uncharacteristically, given an ultimatum.  Even though I offered
to pay for my own calls, they set a limit of two calls a week.
Of course, they couldn't stop her from calling and, to their
credit, didn't try.  I hadn't tried to hide what was going on.  I
can't say they were thrilled at the idea of their high school son
going out with a college senior, but they weren't the types to
raise a fuss.  The real reason behind the phone limits was to
make sure that I didn't become too withdrawn from my already
limited social life.  I understood that, and appreciated the
gesture even though I sometimes chaffed at the strictures.  They
were hardly in a position to complain loudly, since my mother was
three years older than my dad was.  Of course, they actually
waited until they were both in college to meet, which, to them,
made all the difference. I thought it was a fine hair to split,
but since they didn't make an issue of it, neither did I.  I
think my father was secretly rooting for me, but he had enough
sense not to mention it in front of my mom.  

	It was far too late to give her a call tonight, and I
wouldn't be capable of coherent conversation in any case.  The
night had taken much, much more out of me than I had expected,
not only physically but emotionally as well.  I collapsed into
bed, just barely remembering to set the alarm to get me up early
enough to call her in the morning.  Sleep came so quickly I
barely had time to close my eyes.  

When I talked to Melissa in the morning, I found out that the
surprises weren't over quite yet.  Her answering laugh was
normal, but still unfair.  She had always had the distasteful
habit of being bouncy and perky, right out of bed.  On the other
hand, I was philosophically opposed to mornings on general
principle.  I could force myself to function, but the birds were
always a little too loud and1 the sun was always a little too
bright for my comfort.  "Yeah, yeah, yeah," I replied to her
warm, throaty laugh.  "You always did have a nasty streak in you,
sweetie.  Have I mentioned how much I admire that?"

	"Of course you have, sport.  I wouldn't be the same
without it."  

"So what's up?  I got the note last night, but I rolled in around
two, so I didn't think I should call."

	"Oh really, late night, was it?  Gonna tell me what
happened?" 

"Yeah, I will, but not right now."  I wasn't in the mood to play
'Bare my soul' at eight in the morning.  

	"Well...  um," She sounded completely flustered.  "I was
wondering about something.  Your classes are over, right?  What I
mean is, do you have anything planned for the weekend?"

	I thought for a moment.  "No, I don't have anything going
on this weekend.  Why?"  I could see where it was heading and I
wasn't sure if I was ready for it, not after last night.  

	"Well," she continued nervously, "Stephanie is going home
for the weekend.  And I was wondering...  I was wondering if
you'd like to come up for a visit.  There are a couple of parties
going on that we can go to..." she trailed off.

	I turned the possibility over in my mind.  It would mean
a confrontation with my parents.  This, in truth, meant a
confrontation with my mother.  My father wouldn't have a problem.
Unfortunately for me, he was at work and I'd have to clear it
with mom before I even got to that point.  

	And then I wondered whether I was actually ready to deal
with the situation, considering everything that happened the
night before.  I knew I would have to talk to her about it at
some point, and it probably wasn't going to get any easier the
longer it went.  But I was scared out of my mind about how she
would react.  Taking the bit between my teeth, I told her I'd
love to come up, but, in the manner of teenagers everywhere, I'd
have to clear it with my parents first.  I told her I'd call her
back in fifteen minutes, before she left for work.  

	"I don't have to go to work today," she replied.  I could
visualize the smile lighting her face when she told me this piece
of good news.  "Toni is going home to her parents this weekend.
I don't have to go in until Tuesday."  Toni was the grad student
with whom she was working this summer.  If she was going home for
the weekend, there'd be nothing for Melissa to do.

	"Better and better," I murmured under my breath.  She
heard me and giggled in response.  "OK, I'll call you in fifteen
minutes anyway.  The screaming should be over by then."  It was
supposed to be a joke, but her silence told me that she took it
too seriously.  "Calm down, Melissa.  I was kidding.  She almost
never screams at me anymore." 

"You idiot.  Don't do that."  

	"Sorry," I said.  "Talk to you in a few."

	I hung up, and then prepared myself.  To put it bluntly,
I girded up my loins for war, because it was going to be a
pitched battle if ever there was one.  I went out in search of my
adversary.  Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on one's
point of view, she was easily found.  She sat out in the garden,
vengefully ripping out the weeds that encroached on her sacred
soil.  

	"Mom, are we planning anything special this weekend?"  It
was the safest opening gambit I could think up.  So what if it
wasn't particularly inventive, it got the job done. 

	"Not that I know of.  Why, honey?"  She didn't look up,
and I knew I had to be very careful, lest her gaze fall upon me.
It has frozen the hearts of better men than I.  

	"I just got invited to go away for the weekend," I
answered neutrally.  "Think there'd be a problem if I went?" 

	"Well, where would you be going?"

	"Penn State."

	She stopped pulling weeds, and turned that baleful gaze
on me.  I don't want to give the wrong impression, she was a
great mom, and I considered her not only a parent but a friend as
well.  But she was a... forceful personality in the best of
times.  Right was right and wrong was wrong, and God help you if
you ended up on the wrong side.  She was widely feared among the
kids with whom I had grown up.  If you hung around my house at
all, and many people did when I was in elementary school, you
would eventually run afoul of one or another of her rather
strongly held beliefs.  Eighteen years of close proximity had
burned away most of the terror from me, but most of the others
still got a haunted look in their eye when her name came up.  On
the other hand, they all knew that if they were ever in trouble,
if they ever needed anything from a comforting hug to a bed to
sleep in, she was the one to go to, without any doubt.  She was
force of nature unto herself.  

	"And just who would you be staying with?"  I could
actually see the venom dripping from the fangs.

	I knew better than to answer that question.  She was
masterful in laying traps for the unwary.  "Mom, you know very
well who I'll be going to see, who I'll be staying with, and why
I'll be going." 

"That's true enough, David.  Now tell me, since you're so good at
telling me what I already know, why should I let you go?" 

"Because, Mom," I said carefully, "you know you can trust me not
to engage in any typical teenaged stupidity."  Not when I could
engage in some really spectacular stupidity, like last night,
instead.  I wasn't in the mood for the ritual fencing that always
accompanied these negotiations.  I had turned eighteen two months
ago, and although she really couldn't forbid me from going she
could certainly make things difficult for me if I chose to defy
her pronouncements.  "And there's no logical reason not to let
me.  I'm not going to play the game about this one, Mom.  Either
you let me go, or you don't, and you give me a reason why I'm not
allowed." 

	"You sound just like your father, you know that don't
you?"  She sighed.

	"I learned from the best, Mom."  Carefully and
attentively, I learned, for eighteen years.  "Well?"

	"You can go.  When are you coming back?"

	"Probably Sunday night or Monday.  She had Monday off," I
said by way of explanation.  

	"When are we going to get to meet her?"  Mom asked.
"Mom!  You've already met her!  You've met her twice already.  At
Thanksgiving both of the last two years!"

	"I know, but some things are traditional.  You're
supposed to bring your new girlfriend home to meet your parents."


"She's not my girlfriend, Mom."  I paused to consider things.
"At least not yet.  That's part of what this is about." 

"All right.  If you say so."  She turned back to her holy war on
the invading weeds, muttering under her breath.  Any time I could
cause her to talk to herself, I had to count it as a win.  I
hurried back to the house and grabbed the phone.  I was a few
minutes early, but I doubted she'd be upset.  She wasn't.  I had
to get some directions, my only experience with the State College
having been one school trip in the eighth grade.  That taken care
of, I asked her when the best time was for me to show up.  

"The sooner the better, babe.  It's about a three and a half-hour
drive.  When are you going to leave?"

	"Ohhh, in about ten minutes, I think.  Damn near an
eternity.  So, expect me anywhere between, say 10:30 and noon,
depending on how many times I get lost."  

	"I'll be here, with bells on," she laughed back at me.
"See you in a couple of hours, right?"  

	"Bank on it, sweetie." 

	We exchanged good-byes, and hung up.  I spent the next
eight minutes running around my bedroom, throwing clothes into a
beat-up overnight bag.  After thinking about if for a whole ten
seconds, I also grabbed a suit from my closet.  I decided I was
going to take her to a decent dinner, come hell or high water.
The closest thing we'd been able to manage at camp had been fast
food on our ritual Saturday afternoon drive into town.  This
time-, by God, I was going to take her to a restaurant that
actually had silverware.  I had plenty of cash, since the
semester had been very profitable.  The fear of making it through
four years of high school and then not graduating because of
failing a single course had caused the money to flow like water
from those who were balancing precariously on the edge.  

	I carried everything out to the car, and waved goodbye to
Mom who was still committing creative atrocities on the
unassuming plant life.  "You're leaving now?" she called in
surprise.  "I didn't think you were going to be leaving until
this afternoon." 

"Yeah, Mom, I'm leaving now.  Was there something you needed me
to do?"

	"No, but you could have told me."

	"You didn't ask that.  You asked when I was getting
back," I said carefully.

	She tried to give me the Glare, but it didn't work.  I
could see her fighting to hold back the laugher.  She fought and
lost.  "OK, you little shit, get on your way.  Have fun."  She
paused, and I knew what was coming, "And, David, be careful."

	"I always am, Mom."  Well, not always, but she didn't
really have to know that, did she?

	As I pulled out of the driveway, I checked the fuel gage
and winced.  A 26-gallon gas tank is nice when you're driving a
long way and don't want to stop.  But it costs an arm and a leg
to fill.  That accomplished, and only a few pounds lighter in my
wallet, I settled in behind the steering wheel for the journey.
It's amazing how perceptions can mutate over the course of one
drive.  The minutes seemed to take hours as the first few miles
fell behind, but the closer I came, the faster things went.  I
wasn't exactly sure about what I was doing.  I knew I wanted to
see Melissa, more than anything else in the world.  But I was
also scared out of my mind.  How was she going to react to what I
had to tell her?  No, I didn't feel some irrational urge to
confess my sins and receive my penance.  I didn't think I had
sinned.  At least, not in any sense of the word that I
understood.  True, most theology couldn't be stretched to cover
what happened last night, but I had never let that bother me
before this.  Besides, that was the Catholic's shtick.  Melissa
deserved to know what happened, before we did something she'd
regret.  It felt like last night all over again.  Going to
someone to let them in on a big secret and then hold my breath
and hope things didn't explode.  But this time the secret was
mine.  And the stakes were much, much higher.


Chapter 13

	With summer break in full swing, the campus and town that
surrounds it was all but deserted; though, I certainly couldn't
tell the difference at first.  The memories of my one and only
previous trip here were vague at best.  We had been having far
too much fun tormenting our faculty chaperone to pay attention to
the scenery.  The lack of traffic did allow me to muddle through
the streets, tracking down the correct address.  It turned out to
be a little bungalow, looking completely out of place among the
older Victorian houses that seemed to be the norm.  The area was
obviously dominated by students.  The large houses that lined the
streets had four or sometimes five mailboxes on the front,
revealing that had been split up into student apartments.  The
alleys behind the houses provided access to the greatly expanded
parking areas.  Most of the houses had given up backyards
altogether in favor of concrete or gravel.  Melissa's place,
uncharacteristically, still retained a respectable portion of
grass on the postage stamp sized lot.  There was just enough room
for me to park the big behemoth next to a VW Bug.  That brought a
smile to my face.  The prototypical college student's car, right
here in the flesh, so to speak.  

	I had barely pulled my belongings from the trunk and
started towards the back door when it burst open and Melissa came
out at a dead run, as if propelled from the bore of a cannon. She
hadn't changed much.  Her hair was a little different, longer and
more styled instead of being pulled back into the ponytail she
habitually wore when we were at camp.  It seemed she had thought
up something special to commemorate things though.  She wore the
same ivory blouse and short skirt she had been wearing on our
first night together.  I barely had time to wonder if that's all
she was wearing before she hit me.  I was smart enough,
surprisingly, to drop the bags on my own, before she launched
herself into my arms.  As soon as I stopped rocking from the
impact, both literally and figuratively, I felt something 'click'
deep inside.  And I knew everything was going to be all right.
It may not be pleasant or easy, but it would be all right.  The
feel of her body pressed up against me was distracting, but in a
wonderful way.  I could tell, quite easily that, in fact, she
wasn't wearing anything else.  I ran my hand down her back and
underneath the thin fabric of her skirt, cupping one cheek of her
ass in my hand.  That brought me up short.  I shook off the urge
that arose from the feel of her being so close.  It was time to
talk.  And afterwards, maybe, it would be time for other things.

	After a long kiss, she peeled herself away from me and
took my hand.  "Come on in side, sport," she urged, damned near
yanking me off balance.  I stopped long enough to grab the bag at
my feet and then allowed her to tow me up into the house.  It
wasn't too bad inside.  It was just as small as it looked, with
two bedrooms a kitchen and dinette area and a living room stuffed
inside the white clapboard exterior.  It was a step up from the
typical college dorm-room, or even apartment, but it wasn't
luxurious.

	Dropping my bag next to the couch, I collapsed into the
soft cushions, relaxing after the long drive.  I was trying to
think of how to broach the subject, and I couldn't come up with a
decent opening.  Holding with tradition, however, she took things
into her own hands.  She sat down on top of me, straddling my
legs and unbuttoning my shirt.  I moved my hands up quickly to
stop her.  "Hang on, Melissa.  Hang on a second."

	"No, I don't want to stop.  It's been too long."  She
covered my lips in tiny quick kisses.  "I want you so badly."  

	As if I didn't feel the same way.  It was a losing
proposition, either way, but something inside stopped me.  I had
to talk to her about what was going on first, before anything
else happened. 

	"Melissa, don't you think I want this as much as you do?
Think for a moment, for God's sake.  I need you right now.  But
there's something else I need more.  And that's to talk to you
about something.  And I don't know how you're going to react to
it."

	"Damnit," she sighed.  "That's why you came up here,
isn't it, to say goodbye."  She looked as if I had just slapped
her across the face.   

"What?" I was dumbfounded.  "Jesus Christ!  No."  I shook my head
to clear the cobwebs; it didn't help much.  "God, no," I
continued quietly.  "No, Melissa, you should know better than
that.  No, this has to do with that "long night" I had last
night.  The one I didn't want to talk about this morning.  I
couldn't talk about it, not over the phone."  I proceeded to give
her a truthful, if somewhat abbreviated account of the last
night.  She listened in silence, absorbing what I said without
much expression. When I finished, she sat for a long moment,
without saying anything.  

"And now what?  What are you telling me?  Are you saying that you
don't know which one you want to be with?  Is that what this is
all about?"

	I wanted to scream in frustration.  "No, I thought I made
that clear.  I'm not in love with her.  I don't think I ever
really was...  Fuck," I said under my breath.  This wasn't going
the way I thought it would.  "Melissa.  I love you.  I'm head
over heels, completely, deeply, tragically in love with you.
I've known that since the minute I saw your face last
Thanksgiving.  When I came through the door and saw you standing
there, completely unexpected..." I trailed off.  "When I saw you,
I realized what was missing.  

	"But last night was...  It was something I had to do.
Something I had to do to be free of her.  Not of her, but of my
images of her.  Ahhh, fuck it.  I can't explain this to you.  I'm
not sure I even understand it myself."

	"So, basically, what you're telling me is that you had
sex with someone else, someone besides me?" she asked
incredulously.  That hurt.  I thought she was going to be upset,
but there wasn't any need to insinuate that I couldn't possibly
convince anyone else to go to bed with me.  Granted, I wasn't
going to give Paul Newman a run for his money, but I hardly ever
scared small children with my looks.  It was unfair, and I said
so.

	"No, no, no," she said quickly.  "That's not what I
meant.  I what I meant was; that's the reason we had to talk?
Because of that?"  

	"Well, yeah," I answered lamely.  "I thought it was
important."  I thought about it for a moment before continuing.
"I know we never promised to be 'faithful' to each other.  And
hell, if this had happened a few months ago, or it had been
someone else, it probably wouldn't have been a big deal.  But..."
"But, what?" she asked.

	"I had to tell you about it before...  before we made
love.  If you were going to hate me and throw me out, I wanted it
to be before...  If I had told you afterwards, then you might
have regretted making love.  And I don't ever want to make you
regret being with me," I finished seriously.  It made perfect
sense to me.  But then again, it usually does.  It's when I try
to explain it to everyone else that things usually go to pieces.
Like they are now.

	She closed her eyes and looked in askance at the ceiling,
and then she said something that chilled me to my bone.  "Why me,
Lord?  Why hast thou forsaken me?"  Her tone of voice was so much
like what I hear from my mother that it was scary.  Looking back
down at me, she resumed her normal voice.  "You idiot," she
sighed.  "You know, I've spent the entire year waiting for you to
tell me that you'd been with someone else!  Augh!"  She sounded
as frustrated as I felt only moments before.  And I was more
confused than ever.  She rolled off me, throwing herself onto the
couch before continuing.  "Okay.  Promise me that you're not
going to get mad at what I'm about to say." I nodded quickly, not
wanting to go into the impossibilities of the request.  "When we
said goodbye last summer, I didn't know what to think... not
about you, or me, or even us.  Last summer was... incredible.  It
was the happiest I can ever remember being.  If things had been
different, if you had been older, I wouldn't have hesitated to
tell you how much I loved you.  Or how much I wanted to be with
you.  But... when we said goodbye, you were, forgive me, a
seventeen-year-old high school kid, who had been with one girl in
your whole entire life.  One!  And what we had was very very
different from the normal every day first time.  

	"I hoped that you would go back to school and actually go
out with some other people.  Not that you'd forget me, or that
you'd fall in love with someone else, but that you'd get a little
more experience." I started to protest but she overrode my
objections, "Not sexually, sport.  God knows, I can't complain
about that.  You're the best lover I've ever had."  Even though I
had no clue where this was going, I took a lot of heart in that
last statement.  My smile must have been blinding, because she
reached out to caress my cheek as she continued.  "But I wanted
you to go out and have a chance to date.  With the way things
were... are, between us, you deserved a chance to find out what
you might be missing, before you wound up with me.  I didn't want
to be in a relationship with you, not while you were wondering
about what you might have missed."  She took my hand in hers and
squeezed it hard.  "I knew it was a risk, not pinning you down
before, but it was a risk I had to take."

	I opened my mouth to argue then closed it again just as
quickly.  She had a point.  Well, from her point of view she had
a point.  "So what do we do about it?  Where does it leave us?
In the same sort of limbo that we've been in?"  It wasn't a
satisfactory conclusion in the least. 

	"Not on your life.  You're here now, and you're mine,"
she said with a predatory grin.  I reached across and pulled her
over onto my lap.  The kisses were as good, even better, than I
remembered, and far, far better than whatever Karen had been able
to muster. We stayed together like that on the couch for what
seemed like a very long time, kissing and holding each other
after such a long absence.  There was no hurry, for either of us,
anymore.

	

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