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From: Celeste801@aol.com
Subject: Celestial Reviews 190 - June 14
X-Is-Review: yes
Celestial Reviews 190 - June 14, 1997
Note: I absolutely cannot figure out AOL sometimes. On June 11 AOL was
giving me trouble with outgoing mail, and so I wasn't able to post CR 189
until the next day. At the same time I also reposted my own story, "Virtuous
Reality." I KNOW these made it to Usenet, because (a) I have received e-mail
correspondence about both and (b) if I go into DejaNews I can find them both
there. Yet I have not yet seen either of them on my own AOL screen in the
Usenet Newsgroups, and I have looked very carefully. I can understand
DELAYS, but it really seems to me that AOL is simply SKIPPING these stories.
Besides being a source of irritation to me personally, this troubles me for
several reasons. First, I don't know WHAT ELSE I have been missing. It
seems likely that if AOL is skipping my material, it is also omitting other
people's material, apparently at random. Second, I don't know how many other
systems there are that are as bad as AOL. When I post something that appears
in a.s.s., how do I know whether anyone else can find it?
I don't understand this technology perfectly, but I have assumed that there's
a collection of stories "out there" someplace that is labeled
"alt.sex.stories" and another labeled "alt.sex.stories.moderated." I thought
that what someone submitted to these newsgroups was stored in one of these
collections and was distributed through agents like AOL to people like me.
Now I don't know what to think. Are there several collections out there,
each separately labeled "alt.sex.stories" or "alt.sex.stories.moderated" -
some of them haphazardly overlapping with others? Are my entries in some of
these collections but not others? Has AOL somehow censored me? If so, why
would AOL censor ME and not some of the other stuff that is posted in these
newsgroups?
As I said, I really don't know what's going on here.
Second Note: Remember the Blow Job Principle: We are in danger of losing some
of our best authors. I am aware of at least two people who say they are ready
to throw in the towel simply because they get so little feedback from
readers. If you rarely or never respond to authors, then THIS IS YOUR FAULT!
What in the world do you think keeps an author going? You can call it ego or
whatever you want to call it. I call it the Blow Job Principle. Simply
stated, if a person expects to get a second blow job, the recipient should
make the giver glad to have performed the first. Applied to these stories,
if you like a story, take the trouble to say so.
Some writers on this newsgroup are incoherent and don't intend to improve.
If they give up and go away, that's fine with me. But there are good
writers who have already abandoned this newsgroup and others who will do so,
because there's nothing in it for them.
I'm not suggesting that you kiss up to the authors. But if you enjoy a story
that you obtained for free, why not take two minutes to give the author some
feedback? I don't think most authors want idle flattery; but they write
stories with the hope that they are getting a reaction - for example, they
may want to make people happy. They'll never know they have succeeded unless
somebody tells them so.
Third Note: Ole Joe has published a detailed analysis called "Alt.sex.stories
- A Subculture," in which he briefly describes the work of a very large
number of authors who have posted stories with this newsgroup. The analysis
is admittedly incomplete, and I'm sure he will improve it in future drafts,
but it's already a useful source of information for people looking for good
stories to read.
Fourth Note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Distracted" by Mariana E. Rodrigues (quickie) 5, 5, 5
"Visitors" by Tuscahoma Jack (shape changing sex) 9, 6, 6
"The Secret Sex World of Alex Mack" by Mr. Jones (sci
fi teenage & medical sex) 8, 9, 9
"The Secret World of Alex Mack" by Night Rider (sci fi &
teenage sex) 7, 7, 7
"Desserts" by Houston R. Knight (food & incest) 9, 9, 9
"Intimate Customer Relations" by Lingus (wife sharing)
10, 10, 10
"Zipless Fuck" by Doug (quickie) 10, 10, 10
"Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (ff computer show sex) 9.27A
* "The Dick: Confessions of a Private Eye" by Sandman
(private detective orgies) 9, 10, 10
* "Wherefore Art Thou, O'Mighty Thighmaster?" by
Anonymous (mindless mayhem) 1, 1, 1
* = Repost of a previous review (because the story has
recently been reposted).
"Distracted" by Mariana E. Rodrigues (Mariana.E.Rodrigues-1@tc.umn.edu). This
story attempts to convey the passion that a hot woman evokes when she enters
an office and immediately seduces the man who works there. I think the story
has a good idea, but it is completely lost in really bad grammar that needs
to be cleaned up. Readers who insist I am being pedantic by insisting on
good grammar should take a glance at this story. I suspect there may be a
perfectly good reason why the grammar is so bad, and I also suspect that the
passion that is in the mind of the author is much greater than I was able to
get out of this story; but the fact is that I was unable to share this
passion because the structure of the language stood in my way. If an author
wants to share a story with a broad audience, it is important to write in
such a way that the readers are likely to experience the same scenes and
feelings that the author feels while writing the story.
Ratings for "Distracted"
Athena (technical quality): 5
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Visitors" by Tuscahoma Jack (tuscjack@usa.net). A woman awakens in the
middle of the night and finds herself being molested by the tentacles an
almost unseen monster. She finds this to be an extremely pleasurable
experience. Eventually there's a surprise ending, which depends partly on
familiarity with Anime, which is something I personally lack. Anyway, I
can't tell you more without ruining the plot.
This is the author's first effort, and I think he suffers from a problem many
beginners experience: assuming that readers are initially more ready than
they are to buy into an unusual perspective - that is, not making enough
effort to win readers over to the author's perspective. For example, were I
to wake up in the middle of the night with the tentacles of an unknown
monster fondling my body, I really doubt that my dominant reaction would be
to relax and enjoy it. One way to win me over to this perspective (and there
are probably many other ways) would be to have the woman get turned on BEFORE
she realizes that those are tentacles rather than the gentle fingers of a
lover. What the story lacks is a RATIONALE to explain the woman's initial
receptiveness - otherwise, the surprise ending lacks punch.
In addition, I had real trouble understanding the plot after it started to
depend more and more on Anime mythology. If a story is designed for a
specific in-group (such as Anime enthusiasts), this should be stated up
front; otherwise, the author should take steps to introduce relevant concepts
in a way that outsiders (like me) can understand the basic logic. However,
even if I would have known more about Anime matters, I think the grammar
would have given me trouble figuring out just what was happening. For
example, the author kept changing between (plural) tentacles and a (singular)
tentacle. Since I had never seen this monster, this strained my imagination.
Ratings for "Visitors"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
"The Secret Sex World of Alex Mack" by Mr. Jones
(cthulh19@mirage.skypoint.com). This is a parody of a popular non-network
American television show. (I think it appears on the Nickelodeon cable
channel.) There are currently several really creative television series
about adolescent girls who are both sexy and smart. These include a vampire
killer, a teenage witch, and Alex Mack. As a former adolescent girl, I wish
I had role models like these when I was a child. As a former adolescent boy,
my husband knows exactly why so many teenage boys watch this show: the
heroines, he says, are the subject of wet dreams.
This story is science fiction. Events like those in this story don't happen
in real life. Your first clue will be the notion that a doctor would make a
house call to check on a non-millionaire with flu-like symptoms. Your second
clue will come when Alex's body starts to glow after Dr. Fuller fucks her in
the ass. Remember how Peter Parker and the Hulk screwed around with
radioactive chemicals and got turned into superheroes? Well, Alex has messed
around with chemicals, but for her the outcome has been different: her sexual
anatomy has taken on an independent existence; in short, for purposes of this
parody, she has a nymphomaniac residing inside her innocent body.
The story begins when Dr. Fuller arrives to check young Alex for flu-like
symptoms. Alex's mom has to run an errand, and the sci-fi doctor offers to
serve as a baby-sitter while he examines the unconscious young girl. When
circumstances prevent him from taking the teenager's temperature orally, he
is forced to insert his probe between her luscious ass cheeks. Pretty soon
Doc has all six inches (no radioactivity for him - otherwise, he'd sport a
15-incher!) of his cock rammed up her ass and both are cumming wildly. For
complex reasons Alex's body glows and emits sparks when she first achieves
orgasm; and since this is _science_ fiction the good doctor feels obligated
to test the hypothesis that it was the attainment of sexual fulfillment that
caused her body to glow and emit sparks. Sure enough, she glows and performs
other weird activities. Later the story moves along to blackmail and other
sordid complications.
This is the sort of story that will get Senator Exon and his ilk upset over
the possibility that "this kind of trash might promote pedophilia."
Therefore, I would like to caution readers that in the unlikely event that
you are ever a doctor visiting in her home a young nymphomaniac virgin with
flu-like symptoms, you should not fuck her either anally or in any other way,
even if her ass literally sucks your finger and then your penis into its hot
little cavity. Furthermore, if you think it would be fun to fuck a hot
little teenager who glows and emits sparks, you are in for the shock of your
life. If - in spite of these warnings - you persist in molesting an innocent
waif under these circumstances, at least be sure to wear a condom and
whatever other accouterments are necessary to reduce the likelihood of
electrocution.
This story was fun! The author obviously intends to post many more chapters
in this story. I wavered between 9's and 10's the ratings for plot and
appeal to the reviewer. I went with the lower ratings largely because the
story is obviously incomplete and I don't like to reward unfinished work.
Ratings for "The Secret Sex World of Alex Mack"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"The Secret World of Alex Mack" by Night Rider (nightri101@aol.com). This is
a distinctly different story than the previous one. It has one less word in
the title and is written by a different author. But it's the same little
Alex, who has been sprayed with GC-161 and has developed super powers that
let her morph to a puddle of water and zap bolts of electricity into things.
In the first chapter of this story we also meet Alex's sister Annie, who
gets A's in science but C's in bra cups, and who is therefore qualified to
help Alex explore her sexuality vis-a-vis GC-161. Annie's experiments lead
her to discover that Alex glows during sex. My husband tells me that I also
sometimes seem to glow during orgasms, but I think my own evanescence is
metaphorical; and besides, I don't have to stop when my mother comes home or
worry about a chemical company doing vile things to me if I accidentally
disclose my secret identity.
Now, wait a minute! In chapter 2 Alex engages in various sexual activities
with her friend Ray. She doesn't glow. Is this because she glows only
during lesbian sex? If so, is this because of an interaction between
pheromones and GC-161? Or maybe Alex did glow, but Ray didn't notice. But
that would be kind of hard to miss, wouldn't it? Or maybe Alex did glow, but
Ray was too polite or shy to say anything about it. Or maybe it doesn't
matter. Maybe the whole purpose of this story is to titillate adolescent
boys who are hot for Alex but who are not supposed to be on this newsgroup
anyway.
Neither this nor the preceding story actually offers a good parody of the TV
show or a good stand-alone story. Both stories simply take the Alex
character and have her do things that her lustful young admirers would like
to see her do. This one is obviously incomplete - it goes to chapter 2 and
then stops for whatever reason. I'm waiting for Uncle Mike to come back from
the grave and write a real parody of Alex Mack or some of these other teenage
TV stars.
Ratings for "The Secret Sex World of Alex Mack"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Desserts" by Houston R. Knight (True.Knight@cia.com). Phil is slightly
perplexed. Last night his mother fed him his peaches for dessert by biting
off a chunk and then French kissing him until he had ingested the fruit. She
did this for the whole bowl of peaches. I suspect that Phil knew this was
wrong. Miss Manners would not have approved. They should have at least used
a napkin.
Phil isn't about to complain. After all, his 44-year old mother checks in at
5'7", 140 lbs., and 38D-29-38. That's not bad, even in the remote mountains
of Tennessee.
Today she has a bowl of whipped cream, and this gives Phil an out-of-body
experience: "Straddling him again, he watched silently as she unbuttoned the
top of her dress down to her waist, then baring her full breasts to him."
Actually, that's not an out-of-body experience - just a misplaced modifier.
The author wants "straddling" to modify the mother, but he has placed it in a
location where it modifies Phil. I guess those 38D's can be distracting when
you have to lick whipped cream off them. The next day it's the ole
honey-on-the-ass trick. Then there's something about a chocolate-coated
banana, but it's not really a banana.
I think the author is into incest. If Dulcinea wrote this story, she would
simply turn these people into husband and wife, omit the specific references
to mathematics, and clean up the grammar a little.
One element of this author's stories that some readers will find distasteful
<g> is that he ends with an advertisement that tries to sell his stories. I
have no objection to this sales gimmick, since the author gives us a genuine,
complete story and puts the ad where we can easily ignore it. In other
words, this isn't spam. The stories are well written and probably worth the
dollar the author wants to collect, but then the other stories on this
newsgroup cost even less.
Ratings for "Desserts"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Intimate Customer Relations" by Lingus (wife sharing). Tom is upset because
the woman he has promised as a date for a business client has canceled. He
has promised Ed a good time at dinner and in the sack. Realizing Tom's
dilemma and prompted by one of her swinging friends, his wife offers to fill
in as a sub. Tom discovers that knowing that Betty is having great sex with
another man is a really exciting experience; and of course Betty enjoys it
too. Even better, Ed places his largest order ever with Tom, and Tom plans
to combine business with pleasure by taking Betty along on future business
trips as an in-house escort service for future customers.
As I read my summary in the preceding paragraph, it occurred to me that the
plot sounds pretty lame. That's because I suspect that in real life things
just wouldn't happen this way. Nevertheless, this is a good story. It's a
fantasy; but fantasies are OK in this newsgroup. At least this author builds
a rationale to make it sound plausible that two people who are happily in
love would wonderfully expand their horizons by having the wife act like a
slut with other men. Once you grant that assumption, this becomes a pretty
good story.
Of course, the major problem with this story is the question of whether
Betty's portion of the future business trips would be tax deductible. My
tentative answer is yes. After all, I personally subtract all my sex-related
expenses from my profits from these Celestial Reviews; but since I make no
money, that's not a really impressive argument. I would conjecture that the
IRS actually has an answer to this question, and I wish someone would send it
to me or write a story about it.
I suspect we have several IRS employees either lurking on this newsgroup or
actively participating. For one thing, lurking is one of the things that IRS
agents and accountants do best. In addition, those poor souls have to
sublimate in some way. Their lives are often so drab that they're like
dynamite when they sit down at a keyboard, shrouded in anonymity, ready to
burst forth into the world in their full sexual splendor. You can usually
recognize them by their names. For example, sometimes they have a number for
the second letter of their first name.
Ratings for "Intimate Customer Relations"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Zipless Fuck" by Doug (parapuke repost). A zipless fuck occurs when the
fucker doesn't know the fuckee, there is no meaningless chatter, and there is
no playing games. The two people see each other, they are attracted to each
other, and they fuck each other. In the quintessential zipless fuck the
participants don't even speak to each other. They may never even see one
another again, but it doesn't matter, because they both got what they wanted.
A zipless fuck is extremely romantic in an unromantic sort of way.
This is a story of a zipless fuck. Having defined it, what else can I say?
It's pretty hot stuff.
I myself have never done a zipless fuck. However, I have been a participant
in numerous ultra-zipless fucks. A UZF is everything that a ZF is, with the
addition that not only do we UZFers not know each other or talk about it, we
don't even actually do it. For that matter, my partner often doesn't even
know I am having a UZF with him/her/them. I just plan it and work out the
details in my perverted little mind. Think about it! Gotcha! You may have
just been the victim of a UZF!
Ratings for "Zipless Fuck"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
Here's a Guest Review by M1KE Hunt:
"Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (GQKZ45C@prodigy.com). "Woman2Woman" is a fun
read, zippy and straightforward, with few distractions to pull you away from
the story of the seduction of one woman by another. Christine and Laura are
sales reps at a computer show, and meet each other while standing on the
floor for 10 hours fending off propositions from men. At one point in the
shared cab ride back to the hotel, Christine, the narrator, asks ""Is getting
laid the only reason these guys come here?" This is one of the few
distractions, because the answer, obviously, is "yes." I've been to computer
shows.
The girls retreat to their hotel rooms, wherein Laura offers to give
Christine a massage to relieve her stress. You'll be shocked to find out that
they both end up nude, make gentle love with one another, and spend the next
several days sneaking kisses in the employee lounge, squatting at the display
to show each other their pussies, and generally having a lovely time.
The plot is not complicated, and it's been done before, but then haven't they
all? "Woman2Woman" suffers only from a half-dozen obvious editing errors,
such as "positioning her bare legs on each side of my." My what? And there
are words that the spell check thought were OK, but a quick proofreading
would have caught, such as "spend" for "spent." OK, it's niggling, but if I
didn't catch at least a couple of grammatical errors, I wouldn't be doing my
job as a reviewer, right?
I give "Woman2Woman" a "9.27A" rating on the open ended "Verschlumpt" scale,
a logarithmic evaluation schedule I've designed based on plot, sexuality,
spelling, taste, today's Dow Jones results and other logical factors such as
whether it's Tuesday or not.
{end of review}
* "The Dick: Confessions of a Private Eye" by Sandman (bd654@scn.org).
Somebody posting from an address beginning with "parapuke" has been
reposting some extremely good stories. The only problem I see with these
reposts is that the titles have sometimes been slightly changed and the names
of the authors have been deleted. For example, although this one was labeled
"The Dick - A Private Eye's Story" the original title was "The Dick:
Confessions of a Private Eye," and it was written by a person who called
himself Sandman. Aside from some grammatical and stylistic errors, this is
an extremely good story; and the author deserves his credit. PLEASE! If you
repost stories, give credit to the original authors.
Here's my original review.
Many, many years ago, a sweet old nun was making a genuine effort to enliven
her English class by showing some films of classic movies. This was in the
days before VCRs were available in all classrooms. She rolled out her 16 mm
projector and showed the film that she had obtained for free from the public
library. I forget what that film was; but after it was over, the sweet old
nun said, "And if you're all good, Friday I'll show you "The Bank Dick." A
titter ran through the room. {That sentence itself is a punchline to a joke;
but we shall not digress at this time.} The nun called on a young student -
in fact, an A student who would later become an English teacher and reviewer
of smutty stories, but who {That's right, "who" - this is a complex thought.}
- but who the sweet old nun secretly hoped would become a sweet young nun -
she called on this young student in front of the whole class and asked her to
kindly explain what was so funny. At first the student evaded the issue with
clever responses like, "Nothing" and "I don't know." However, the silly
grins that the other students were urged to wipe off their faces - along with
the titter that kept running through the class - caused the sweet old nun to
persist; and eventually the student replied, "Sister, I think 'dick' is a
vulgar term that refers to the male penis." The grins quickly disappeared;
and the titter came to a halt; and the student discovered the meaning of the
metaphor "killing the messenger."
The sweet old nun called my mother that evening and told her that I "knew
things that no good girl should know." As I stood in the kitchen listening
to the phone call, I came to a new understanding of the metaphor "scared
shitless." My mother responded, "Thank you, sister. I think perhaps you had
better pray for her." Then she hung up the phone, looked at me sternly,
shook her head sadly, and said, "Nuns can be weird sometimes. You did fine."
To this very day I don't know how the term "dick" became applied to these
disparate concepts; but I still get a silly grin that has to be wiped off my
face whenever I hear the d-word applied to a private eye.
Anyway, this is not your ordinary "interracial" sex story. Bernard, the
black stud, sports a simple five-incher, rather than the usual monster cock.
He also has a problem with premature ejaculation, which his red-headed,
white girlfriend handles sympathetically. The private detective has been
hired by Bernard's black wife with a great ass to get the dirt on Bernie, so
that she can dump him and make off with his money. The detective, of course,
becomes enamored with his client; and then, of course, he also becomes
enamored with the husband's mistress, who has the most incredible tongue this
dick has ever come across. {Sometimes I suspect that some of these double
meanings are intentional.}
To make a long story short, the ladies meet and hit it off together. Some of
the racial epithets are not politically correct; but then these ladies are
not politicians. Although Sheila is a redhead of apparent European ancestry,
she is conversant with African American literature, as we can see from this
excerpt addressed to her new dark-skinned friend:
"You have the most beautiful ass in the whole world. I should know, I just
tasted it. Your asshole tastes so great. Please don't spank me for my
comments. But whatever you do, don't ram one of the dildos in my dresser up
my cunt while spanking me. That would hurt even more. I never want to feel
such pain ever again." Br'er Rabbit couldn't have said it better.
The story is chockfull of surprises and wonderful events: crescendos,
blowjobs, puckered and gaping assholes, wad after wad shooting across
cyberspace, and even a double underwater blow job in the bathtub at 5:00 a.m.
All of this is described in the objective tone and with the metaphors
typical of a detective in a dime-novel or B-movie.
Near the end of the story (in the pre-ante-penultimate paragraph, to be
precise), we find these lines: "These two beautiful bodies, lying against
one another, were now facing me in such a way that I could see their four
holes lined up in a line: asshole, cunt, cunt, asshole. It was a beautiful
and erotic sight. I paused to consider my situation, scratching my balls in
the process." Writers of detective stories always talk like this.
And antepenultimately: "If you can't lick 'em, fuck 'em!"
OK. Just in case you don't know the joke that goes with that punchline, here
it is. The ladies of the church society had arranged to have the children
act out the Christmas play as the script was being read to the congregation.
{There's a whole lot more that can be added here. Use your creative
imagination.} Right after the cute little kid appeared while the angel
talking to the shepherds, another cute little boy ran through the assembled
worshippers and rapidly fondled all the women's breasts. The minister jumped
to his feet and shouted, "What in the HELL is going on here!" The director
waved the script in front of him and said, "It says right here in parentheses
in the script you gave me: 'A titter runs through the congregation.'" Or
something like that.
Ratings for "The Dick"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Wherefore Art Thou, O'Mighty Thighmaster?" by Anonymous (and understandably
so) (an433945@anon.penet.fi). This is an excellent example of a really bad
story. Aspiring authors should read this story just to identify mistakes to
avoid. Really. Here's how you yourself can write a hot sex story like this
one:
(1) Have a general plot and then start writing. As soon as you get an idea
write it down. Then keep piling your ideas one on top of another until
eventually something neat happens. Pretty soon nobody will be able to figure
out what the plot is. if people are dumb enough to read the story in spite
of this obvious ineptitude, they don't care about plot anyway.
(2) When you finish the story, set it aside for at least five minutes, while
you relieve one of nature's needs or something; then read through the story.
You'll think of new ideas. Just insert them wherever you think of them;
that's what a word processor is for. But never delete a thought once you've
written it down and never rearrange what you have written in order to make it
make better sense.
(3) Don't worry about grammar. You're writing for sex maniacs, not nerds.
For example, if you want to use "she" ambiguously in a sentence, sometimes
referring to a wagon and sometimes to a female person, readers should be able
to figure this out.
(4) When (if) you reread parts of your story and can't even yourself remember
what you meant by a passage, put that passage in ALL CAPS for emphasis.
(5) Don't let the dictionary stand in your way. For example, if you think
"wherefore" means "where," then go with the W word for the first word of your
title. After all, every kid who has never read Romeo and Juliet knows that
when What's Her Name said, "Wherefore art thou Romeo?" she was asking for his
geographical coordinates.
(6) Even when using informal language or slang, fuck tradition! For example,
never mind that most people use the term "buck naked" - go ahead and say BUTT
NAKED and put it in caps. Nobody knows where the term "buck naked" came from
anyway.
(7) Don't let school subjects bother you. For example, either math or
biology might inform you that it's extremely unlikely that one of the Monet
twins would be 19 and the other 15 years old; but you don't want to be a
nerd; so stick with the twin theory - even if it is irrelevant to the plot of
the story.
(8) Don't worry about whether something is actually possible. If you can
write it down and it's about sex (or at least about defecation or neat forms
of torture), it belongs in the story.
On a more serious note: the following sentence brought back childhood
memories:
"With all her might, Carrie struck her as her head jolted
forward knocking off Becki's glasses."
The first joke I can ever remember a teacher telling was:
"Do you see this nail? When I nod my head, hit it as hard
as you can with that sledge hammer!"
The joke had something to do with pronoun antecedents, a topic about which
this author does not claim expertise. There must be a sexual version of that
joke out there somewhere, and I'd like to hear it.
Incredibly enough, this story actually does have potential. I really mean
that. It could become a weird tale about a kid's odyssey while towing naked
friends in her little red wagon. The author merely needs to break at least
seven of the eight rules I cited above the next time he revises this story.
Even in its present form it's almost half as good as a rejected episode of
Beevis and Butthead.
Ratings for "Wherefore Art Thou, O'Mighty Thighmaster?"
Athena (technical quality): 1
Venus (plot & character): 1
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 1
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