Subject: He Said/He Said M/M Romance, betrayal, etc.
From: ronald wayne weaver <rwweaver@students.uiuc.edu>
Date: 1996/10/24
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories

			   He Said/He Said
			       Part One
			     Jake's Story

	O.K. I'm the villain, here. I want to make that clear.
Everything that happened was my fault. I really loved Brad. Love. I
love Brad, I never stopped. But, I acted like an ass, and here's what
happened:

	Brad and I met 3 years ago. It was at a bar. We didn't have
sex right away, even though we sure wanted to. At least I did. But
something about Brad made me want to wait. You know they always say
that immediate sex between two people can spoil the chance of a
meaningful relationship. In fact, it's something I relied on
throughout college. [I guess I should tell you I was a Sports
Medicine major, and all those stories you read about the willingness
of college athletes are true, as far as I know. I was never alone
unless I wanted to be. But, as my Senior year passed its halfway
point, I didn't want to be anymore.] I'd never met anyone like Brad
before. He was gorgeous, sweet, funny, bright, honest and very forward
about himself. Nothing he said was bullshit. He wasn't a bar fag, and
I guess that was the immediate attraction.

	I crashed into him while coming down the stairs from the pool
table loft at Dayglo, the gay bar in the town where we both went to
school. Before I could even apologize, he was getting up grinning that
grin that still gets me hard when I think about it. He had this cute
little mustache and goatee, very close-cropped and light blond, like
his short, soft hair. Perfect, straight (pardon the expression), white
teeth, and a pleasantly tanned face with perfectly symmetrical
dimples. What threw his look so sexily off-kilter was his nose. Thin
and long, with a bump in the middle that I would learn later came from
a bicycling accident at the age of 8.

	I did apologize and offered to buy him a drink. He had a Diet
Coke, and soon, my friends were pressuring me to return to the game
upstairs. I apologized again and said I hoped I'd be seeing him. He
said, "So do I." and we went our separate ways.

	A few weeks later, I saw him there again, and we danced and
talked all night, exchanging numbers, favorite movies, etc. Strangely,
throughout the evening, we never kissed. He was really driving me
crazy. But, somehow, it never seemed like the right time. He was very
sexy, and certainly seemed interested, but I just didn't want to screw
this up. We were the last two out the door at closing time. Somebody
had vandalized his car (I guess because of the numerous Pride stickers
on it), and slashed a tire. I helped him change it, and we sat in the
car for a while, talking more intimately. I had to leave town early
the next morning for a job interview and said so. He said he wanted to
give me something for luck, put his hand around the back of my neck,
and kissed me. Fireworks. I leaned into him and we continued to
explore each other, with tongues and hands. He finally broke us apart
and reminded me of my early time table the next day. It was about
3:00AM by then. I promised to call him after the interview.

	Well, I got the job, as a Phys Ed teacher and wrestling coach
at a private high school in Maine. When I called Brad, he told me that
he also had accepted a position in the northern point of the state,
but hadn't said so before, so as not to jinx my chances. It was like
fate. Graduation was in 2 months, and we'd be relocating to the same
area!

	We decided to go out to celebrate. Now, I'm a pretty big guy
with a background in weights and cross-training, so I've never worried
much about being bashed. On more than one occasion, I have gotten into
fights for my friends, however. Brad was a Journalism major, but found
time to study quite a bit of self-defense, also. He's of rather slight
build, but well toned and quick on his feet. Having said that, I'll
tell you where we went. T.G.I. Friday's in that little college town.
We held hands across the table at one point! It was very freeing being
with Brad. We wanted to go out dancing, but decided neither of us
wanted to go to Dayglo, so Brad suggested his apartment.

	When we got there, he dimmed the lights and brought out
chilled champagne and two glasses. I immediately spilled mine on his
shirt, like an oaf. He started laughing, pulling off the shirt and
saying something about the way we met. As he opened his shirt, I got
my first glimpse of his chest. It had a fine dusting of blond hair,
tiny, hard nipples, and tapered down to a flat stomach with a wisp of
hair at the navel. "Don't let me be the only one undressing," he said
with that wicked grin. I loosened my tie and let it fall to the floor.
He poured his champagne glass out across my broad chest and began
licking it off. As soft classical music played in the background, we
undressed each other, kissing and touching as if we'd never touched
anyone before. Everything with Brad seemed so new, so untasted. After
several minutes, he slowly pulled away and asked if I'd like to see
his bedroom. "Please," I said.

	He led me by the hand and I followed, my eyes glued to his hot
little butt, now covered only by loose-fitting boxers. My dick was
straining at the elastic of my briefs, growing longer and harder by
the second.

	He sat down on the bed, and I went to my knees at his feet,
kissing and licking his chest and stomach. I circled my tongue around
his belly button and his back arched, as he moaned softly. I began to
rub, lightly, my face against his boxers, feeling the hardness within.
I could tell he was not only enjoying this, but that he was quite well
endowed. Not huge, but very nice. I slid my face up his torso and
found his mouth with mine. As I slid my tongue into his hungry mouth,
I slowly tugged down his boxers. I worked my tongue back down his
chest, pausing at the taut, pointy nipples and giving them some
loving attention with by tongue and teeth. At the same time, I pulled
his feet out of the boxers and cast them aside.

	Then, I got my first sight of his cock. It was beautiful! Pink
and perfect, standing out from his blond bush and curving slightly
upward. About 6 or 7 inches, I guessed. I licked the head softly and
rolled my tongue all the way around it. I slid his entire length into
my mouth. He rolled back onto the bed, his hands going to either side
of my head. He traced his fingers through my hair and around my ears
and I tenderly sucked and licked his rod. With one hand, I massaged
his balls, also covered in a fine layer of tiny blond hairs. I circled
his dick with my hand and licked my way back up to his neck, ending
with deep, wet kisses.

	Brad rolled over toward me, laying me on my back, and went to
work on me. He massaged my chest, kissing me all over, before zeroing
in on my briefs. He pulled them off with no difficulty, and paused
over my cock before going down. My head rested on one of his pillows,
and we looked at each other's eyes as he went to work. With that
wicked grin, he opened his mouth just wide enough to slip his tongue
out and slide it across the tip of my dick. Then, he took half the
head into his mouth and tongued it as his lips held it in place. All
the while, he looked me in the eye and grinned. He licked up and down
my length a few times before taking me entirely into his mouth. I've
never had head like that before or since. "Ooh, Brad, you're amazing,"
I said, and his smile got wider, but he never missed a beat. He rolled
his body up so that we were in a 69 position, and I continued the work
I'd begun before.

	Soon, however, I was completely distracted by the sight of his
sweet little ass. There was a spray of light blond hair between his
pale cheeks, and a tiny pink opening. I could not resist. I traced his
crack with the tip of my tongue and paused at his hot opening.
Suddenly, he lifted his head from my crotch and sighed "Ooooohhhhh".

	"You like that, sport?" I said.

	"No one has ever done that before."

	"They don't know what they've been missing," I answered and
went to work. Gently pulling his buns apart, I licked and probed his
anus, coaxing it to open. Brad's entire body responded to my tongue,
and his mouth sped up it's efforts on by cock. I was very hard and
ready to explore his hot little hole. He must've sensed it, because he
slowed and stopped, and then came up near me, kissing me deeply and
rolling me over on top of him.

	As we kissed, I continued to massage his hole, with the tips
of my fingers, slowly working one, two, then three into him. "Ooh,
yeah, Jake," he gasped.

	"You ready, Sport?" I whispered.

	He nodded and I began to slide into him. He took it like a
pro, although I already knew it was a fairly new experience for him.
He wrapped his legs around my waist with a grip like a vise. Soon, my
entire 9" was in him and we began to pump in unison. I'm not ashamed
to say we fucked like animals. We kissed with open, then closed
mouths. I wiggled my ass, slowly, to work him all over inside, and he
writhed beneath me, matching me stroke for stroke. Soon, we got harder
and faster. "Ooh, Brad, baby," I sighed.

	"Call me Sport" gasp "I like that," he replied, exhausted but
never slowing.

	We seemed to go for hours. I've never felt so joined to
someone like that. I pumped harder and harder, Brad's fingers digging
into my shoulders, back, and ass. Finally, I exploded inside him and
he began to spurt streams of cum up between us. Some landed on his
cheek. Still thrusting my load into his hot ass, I licked it off and
slid my tongue deeper into his mouth than before. We slept like
babies. For a few hours.

	When we awoke to the sound a neighbor's dog barking. We were
still sticky and sweaty, so Brad asked if I'd like a shower. "Yeah" I
answered and he kissed me again. I ran my hand through the smooth hair
on his chest, running into the mess from earlier. "Yuck" we said
together.

	In the shower, we made love again. Slow and steady, like we'd
done this forever. "I am crazy about you" I said at the end, while we
rinsed each other off. Brad just held me. A few months later, I
screwed everything up.

				* * *

	After graduation, we caravaned to Maine and rented a duplex,
which was the perfect solution for us. We could maintain the
appearance of living alone, but still be together. It wasn't so
important for Brad, but for my job, we knew it would be a problem if
the world knew we were "together". Even though, at that time, I felt
like telling everybody! That's how happy we were.

	I got to know the guys on my wrestling team at the school, and
Brad and I began to build a life together. Through Brad's connections
at the newspaper he worked for, we made several gay and lesbian
friends, and became regulars at a nice little neighborhood gay bar. We
were there one night when I saw one of my guys on the dance floor!

	Kevin is underage. I don't know how he got in, why he was out
past curfew the night before a meet, or that he was gay. I excused
myself from the group and went out to talk to him. He was very
embarrassed to be seen there by someone who knew him (I guess it never
occurred to him that I was there for a reason as well!), and agreed to
go home and talk to me about it before the meet the next afternoon.
When Brad asked me, I told him what was going on and we went home, as
well.

	Kevin came into the locker room a half-hour before the meet to
talk to me about the night before. He's a tall, good-looking kid with
black hair and blue eyes. By this time, he'd figured out what I was
doing in a place like that, and he came out to me. Then, he began to
cry. I told him everything was OK, and that I wasn't going to tell his
parents or anyone else. He told me that wasn't what he was worried
about. He'd been going to that bar for 6 months and nobody had hit on
him yet. He thought he was ugly.

	Now, half the girls in school would have put out for Kevin,
most of the other guys thought they had. Kevin never told them that,
but he had gone out with several girls, but nothing had happened. He
was terrified that no man would find him attractive enough to date. I
told him that was just nonsense. I'd be hard-pressed to find one gay
man of my acquaintance who wouldn't be all over him in a second. He
asked me to introduce him to some and I told him to hold on. "You're
only 17, man. The reason no one's hitting on you at that bar is that
they probably know you're underage."

	"It hasn't exactly been 'no one'," he answered.

	It turned out that several men had come on to Kevin, but he'd
been to afraid to do anything with them. Apparently, he thought they
would expect rough anal sex, and Kevin was afraid of letting a man do
that to him. I told him that most gay men would not expect that, but
if he was that worried about it, he just needed to meet someone nice
for his first time. "Someone like you," he said more than asked.

	"I told you, you're underage. Now get changed."

	I should've been more careful with my rebuff. Kevin's birthday
was the next week! Brad had gone out of town on a story, and Kevin
showed up in our pool on the afternoon of his birthday. I watched him
swim for awhile before he noticed me, (I'm only human), and suddenly
noticed he wasn't wearing any trunks! He came up for air and saw me.
"Hi, Coach!" he said, smiling. He came up the steps out of the pool,
absolutely glistening. His smooth swimmer's body held the water as it
slid down his taut abs and legs. His little pink nipples were rock
hard and standing firmly at attention, as was his uncut dick. It
bobbed side to side, proudly pointing right at me.

	"I'm not underage, anymore." He said and planted a big, wet,
open-mouthed his on me. I was just to stunned to do anything. "what's
the matter," he asked when I didn't respond to him.

	"Kevin, you don't understand," I began. "It's not just that
you were too young - "

	He cut the rest of my sentence off with deep sobbing. "Don't
cry," I said, "you're a great-looking guy, smart and funny. You will
meet someone, I promise."

	"I'll never meet anyone I trust like you," he said and
continued to cry. That was when I began to make the biggest mistake of
my life. I led him inside and wrapped a towel around him.

	Before I go any further, I have to tell you something. I say
"mistake" but that isn't what it was. A mistake is an accident, done
by someone who doesn't know any better. I knew better. I loved Brad.
Still do. We'd said it to each other frequently and were living
together, for Chrissakes! What I made was an error. An error in
judgment. An error that would cost me more that I could have dreamed.

	I had this naked kid sitting next to me, sobbing his heart out
because he was so afraid to have his first sexual experience be a bad
one. A kid who trusted me. And, admit it, a kid I was quite attracted
to. I was in a position to give him courage and some tenderness. To
really make a difference in his life. Something every teacher and
coach wants to do. I'm sure it seems like I was just in a position to
score some nookie on the side, but that sure isn't what it felt like
at the time.

	Brad was out of town. He'd never know or need to know. Kevin
was going off to college soon, to a new life. One that could be better
if I was willing to help. I was and I did. And I'm sorry for Brad and
me, but not for Kevin.

	As Kevin cried, I began to kiss his face. "Shhh," I whispered.
I put my finger to his chin and lifted his mouth up to mine. We kissed
and kissed and, slowly, the sobbing stopped. Kevin's arms were around
my neck and mine were around his waist. His towel fell to the floor
and I pulled off my shirt.

	"Wow," he sighed and began to touch my chest, circling the
nipples with his index fingers. I kissed him on the forehead and he
began to slide down to my pants.

	"Easy, Kevin," I said, "You don't have to do anything you
don't want to."

	"I've been wanting to do this for 18 years," he said. My pants
fell to the floor, and Kevin was all over me. He went down on my cock
so fast, he gagged and coughed for a few seconds.

	"Let's take our time, now, huh?" I offered, and led him to the
bedroom. I sat on the bed, and Kevin went back to work, slowly this
time. The kid had a real talent for cock-sucking. I was hard very
soon, and pushed him away.

	"Did I do it wrong?" he asked.

	I told him he'd been doing it so right that it wasn't going to
last much longer if he continued. He said he was doing it just like in
the movies and told me he's been watching his uncle's porn, secretly,
for a few years. I was glad he hadn't asked his uncle to help him the
way he'd asked me.

	"My turn," I said and took his long, slender dick into my
mouth. I taught him the 69 position and we enjoyed each other for
several minutes, each of us pumping our hot rods into each other's
mouths. I could tell he was close to cumming very soon, when his
large, round balls began to pull up. "Do you really want to do this
all the way?" I asked.

	"Oh, yes, coach," he replied. "Coach" was Brad's pet name for
me, the way I called him "Sport". For a second, I froze. Kevin's face
started to fall. I didn't want him to think I didn't really want to do
this, so I continued.

	I placed him on his hands and knees, telling him that this was
the easiest position for me, my first time, and got out the lube. I
worked a finger into his tight hole as he twitched and bucked. "You
O.K.?" I asked.

	"Yeah, but it sure feels weird," Kevin said.

	"Just relax, it'll get better."

	I worked my finger in and out of his anus until I decided he
was ready for two fingers. Softly kissing the skin of his cheeks, I
worked my two fingers in and out, in and out. I went into a circular
motion, preparing the way for me to slip in as easily as possible.

	"Ohhhh," Kevin gasped, "that does feel better." He laid his
head down on the pillow, giving me better access to his ass. Three
fingers. Soon, I felt he was ready.

	"O.K.," I said, "We're gonna take this nice and slow, I'm
going to try not to hurt you. It will be uncomfortable for a while,
maybe for a long while. But if you try to stay relaxed and control
your natural reflex to push me out, it'll start to feel good."

	"O.K.," he answered.

	"Just remember, I'm your friend," I said, and I saw him relax
more.

	I placed the head of my dick against the tiny hole and rubbed
it up and down, then in a circle around his anus. Slowly, I began to
push it in. Immediately, Kevin tensed up. I whispered to him to relax
and reached under him to stroke his cock. He was still hard, so I knew
this would go alright. Suddenly, the head popped in. Kevin let out a
lungful of air in a long sigh.

	"Sweetheart, this won't work if you hold your breath," I said.
"It's like lifting weights, you gotta breathe so your muscles can
work." Good Lord, I was coaching him on how to get fucked.

	I continued to work my dick into him, slowly, every few
seconds pulling out a bit and then back in. Soon, I was half way in. I
lied, "Well, champ, we're there. I'm in." I could feel the smile
spread through his whole body and I began to rock him back and forth.
I slid out and in, slowly, each time giving him a tiny bit more. Soon,
we had worked into a good rhythm.

	"Oh, Coach, yeah!" Kevin said, taking most of my meat, now.
"Am I O.K.?"

	"You are great, kid. You're gonna be very popular."

	He started to laugh and I sped up my efforts. Soon, he had my
entire length in him and we were fucking full speed ahead. I was
stroking his dick underneath him and I pulled him up so my chest was
against his back. He started to cum, so I went into overdrive. I
pumped his ass so he could feel me all over. I didn't want him to
think I wasn't enjoying this. I absolutely was! He must have felt me
cum because he bucked and let out a terrific moan of pleasure as I
filled him with my seed.

	I collapsed onto him, sweating and heaving, and Brad walked
into the bedroom.

			   He Said/He Said
			     Brad's Story

	I don't know what Brad has told people. All I know is what I
saw, what I felt.

	We were living in that little duplex when it happened. You
know, I remember when I met Jake, like it was yesterday. On the stairs
that night. It was like running into a brick wall, but that was
nothing compared to the ton of bricks that fell on me when I looked up
and saw his face. Whenever I wasn't with him, that was the image that
was in my head. Him, smiling, reaching down to help me up. Meeting
Jake couldn't have happened at a better time. I hadn't been Out long,
and I'd been through several bad experiences. The first guy to pick me
up turned out to be pretty crazy. He talked me into tying my hands and
then he basically raped me. It was pretty awful. I never told anyone.
Jake made me feel like nothing was ever going to hurt me again. That's
what that smile was saying. Later, when we talked, I knew I was safe
with him. Not just physically safe, although I never worried about
trouble with him, but emotionally safe, too. Everything was so
perfect. For a while.

	I'd been sent out of town to cover a story. A phone call at
the airport caught me just before I got on the plane. There was no
story. The conference I'd been scheduled to cover had been called off
until the following month. I went home, that vision of Jake in my
head. It was about to be replaced. Now, whenever I thought of Jake,
I'd see him with that kid from his wrestling team. The one he got so
upset with at the bar a few nights before. He told be he'd just been
worried about the kid being underage, but now, I didn't know what to
think. Was he having sex with all the guys on his team? An affair with
Kevin? I just didn't know. Nothing made sense. He tried to talk to me,
but I just had to get out. I went to a hotel and sat in total silence.
My whole world was ending. I thought about suicide, very seriously,
but something in me, something with a louder voice, cried out for
revenge. I had to get even.

	The next few weeks are kind of a blur to me, now. I don't know
how I managed to keep my job through it all. I took all offers. I let
every man I met fuck me , it seemed like. I must have had more men in
me that month than any aircraft carrier in history. A bartender, a
bouncer, a marine, two sailors, the UPS man, and a ton of bar guys,
all of them had their dicks up my ass. I let them fuck me in cars,
public bathrooms, on the floor, on sofas, and in beds. Every position
and as many times as we could manage. But out of all those men, all
those cocks of every size and description, all I thought about was
being with Jake, and who he was with. Then, one night, I knew it had
gone on long enough.

	I went to a bar in a bigger city nearby and saw a couple of
guys I thought I recognized. Their names were Steve and Mike. Steve
was a large, well-muscled and hairy man with dark hair and eyes. Mike
was blond, tall and thinner, perfectly cut under his clothes. We
talked for a while and then Steve said, "Now I remember you, you were
Jake's twink."

	These were the guys Jake had been playing pool with the night
we met. I didn't take offense to his remark, I guess because I was
pretty drunk by then. But not to drunk to remember what happened
after. Steve and Mike didn't know that Jake and I had continued to see
each other, so I guess they weren't that close to Jake. It seemed like
the perfect revenge. I took them to my hotel room.

	When we got inside, I went to my knees in front of Steve. He
opened his pants and slapped my face with his big dick. It was about
7" long and still pretty soft. I swallowed it and went to work. It was
salty and sweaty, but I didn't care.

	"Oh, yeah, baby, let me fuck that pretty mouth," he said as
Mike took off his clothes, watching. "Come here and get you some of
this, man."

	Mike joined us and the two of them took turns pumping my face
with their massive meat. Mike's cock was not as thick as Steve's, but
longer. When I got them both completely stiff, Mike stood at about 12"
and Steve abound 10". Suddenly, I found them shoving both dicks into
my mouth at once. "Take it all, cocksucker, yeah," Steve said. Mike
was pretty quiet the whole time, but occasionally said, "Yeah" in
agreement with whatever Steve had just said.

	"I gotta get me some of that ass, man. Jake said you were one
tight little fuck!" Steve said, pulling out and yanking me to my feet.
He shoved my pants down while Mike pulled off my shirt. Mike's fingers
slid through the hair on my chest, and Steve slid his middle finger
out of his mouth and up my ass. Steve had Mike go lie down on the bed,
and positioned my face over his crotch. He spread my feet apart, spat
on his dick, and shoved it in. I felt like he was ripping me apart.

	"Oh yeah, baby, oh yeah! Take my cock up your hot ass. Yeah,
let me fuck!" he said again and again as he slid, forcefully, in and
out. He held me with one hand at the waist and the other on my
shoulder and fucked me like he was trying to hammer nails with his
dick. Thrust after brutal thrust, until I felt like he was turning me
inside-out. Mike just laid there, smiling and stroking my hair while
I sucked his long, hard cock. I massaged his balls with one hand,
holding myself up with the other. I deep-throated him again and again,
trying to take my mind off the major fucking at my other end. It was
actually starting to feel good, now. Soon, he began to cum.

	"I'm cummin', I'm cummin'," he yelled, "I'm shootin' my load
up your hot ass!" And he did. "You gotta get some o' this," he said to
Mike. Steve pulled me up off of Mike and rolled me over onto my back.
He held my feet up and apart, offering Mike a target for his huge rod.
"Go for it, man, fuck this ass." he said. Mike slid in nearly as
forcefully as Steve had, pumping vigorously. Steve went into the
bathroom and I heard the shower running.

	Mike slowed his pumping to a nice leisurely pace and started
kissing me. "You are sweet," he whispered. "So tight," he continued
into my ear. He kissed and nibbled my ear and neck as he continued his
hot, slow fucking, positioning his hips so that he could fill me up
from all angles. He whispered, "You are soooooo good, baby." just
before Steve came back into the room.

	Immediately, Mike's pace quickened and Steve said, "Yeah, man,
ride that hot ass, fuck that twink, dude!" as he jacked off, preparing
his second load.

	"I'm cummin'," Mike said and Steve yanked him out of me and
pointed his dick at my face. They came gallons, all over my chest and
stomach, but thankfully none on my face, as must have been Steve's
intention. Immediately, Steve's hands were all over me, rubbing the
cum into my hair and face, down my legs and arms, until I was coated
with their spunk. While he did this, Mike dressed, quietly. "Thanks
for the fuck, twink. Keep that ass nice and tight 'til next time,"
Steve said and they were gone.

	I laid on the bed, feeling soiled and used, dirty and alone. I
saw Jake smiling down at me, offering me his hand. Then, suddenly,
Kevin was beside him. He took Jake's hand, they smiled at each other
and walked away from me.

	I stumbled to the shower and washed until my skin was sore. I
laid down on the floor, away from the filthy sheets, and cried until I
fell asleep. Cried for the first time since it had happened. When I
woke up the next morning, I knew things had to change.

			Three years later...

	I was on my way to the airport, again. But this time, I was
headed to Seattle, for a meeting with a possible publisher. When I
decided I had to get my life together, part of that was to pursue
writing full-time, or as much as was possible. Finally I finished my
novel and a publisher in Washington state had expressed interest. Just
before I walked out the door of my apartment, the mail arrived. There
was a rather large package from a friend back at the newspaper I'd
worked at. I didn't have time to check it out, so I took it with on
the plane.

	Once we were in the air, I opened the package and found a
short note on top:

	Brad,

	I'm really sorry about this. The letters started
	arriving immediately after you split with Jake, and
	one got put on my desk instead of yours. I knew how
	much you were hurting, so I never gave it to you.
	They came nearly every day for 6 months, then 2 or 3
	a week. After a couple of years, they stopped. I
	held on to them, goddess only knows why. My little
	girl found them and opened one. She asked me what it
	was, and I'm a little ashamed to say I read it. I
	know how much he hurt you, but the letter touched me
	so much, I decided you had to see it. In the past
	several months, you've really come a long way.
	You're a strong young man, and I think you need to
	know the truth. Again, forgive me for not showing
	these to you before now.
					xx, oo
					Maggie

	Inside the package there must have been hundreds of letters,
cards, and postcards, all of them from Jake. My throat closed. After
all this time, I thought I'd gotten him out of my system. I couldn't
have been more wrong. I still loved him, the Jake I remembered before
that horrible afternoon. My hands shook as I opened the letter on top.
I recognized the sloping handwriting immediately. My name in his
handwriting. My eyes watered as I read his explanation of what had
occurred that day at our house. He apologized again and again, saying
he loved and needed me. Missed me. I had a 3-hour flight with
layovers, and finished all his letters and cards. They were all very
similar, but some had pretty slurred handwriting. I had heard he'd
started drinking heavily about 6 months after we broke up. That
would've been when the pacing of the letters changed. I also knew
about something else that had happened.

	After the evening with Steve and Mike, they'd called Jake
saying they had a surprise for him. They met at a bar and started to
tell him about how they had "nailed" me. Apparently, Jake went into a
rage and broke the place, and them, up. Steve went to the hospital,
and Mike got off with a broken arm. They didn't press charges, and
Jake had to pay for the damages at the bar, but he also lost his job
at the school.

	No one seemed to know what happened to him after that, but the
letters had stopped soon after. The last of his letters expressed
nothing but regret and sorrow for what had happened between us. He
vowed never to touch another man, and begged my forgiveness.

	My meeting went great, and the deal went into production,
pending my agent's changes and agreement from all involved. I decided
to go out to celebrate. I found a bar in a gay guide and, even though
it looked to be in a bad area of town, I went in and spent a long time
there, talking to the bartender, drinking, watching the action all
around me. I hadn't been with anyone since that time with Steve and
Mike. Sex just wasn't the same after that. It wasn't fun. It was just
a little scary and not fulfilling at all. About an hour before
closing, I decided to go back to my hotel room. As I approached my
rental car, I noticed some long-haired, tattooed youths loitering near
a street lamp. I must've been drunker than I thought, because they
were on me before I knew what had happened. I felt a sharp blow to my
head, and after that, I really only remember flashes.

	Laughing faces, punches, kicks. Silence. I fell to the ground
as my assailants released me. I heard an animal like growl and then
there was a flurry of motion. The teen thugs were falling left and
right. I heard sirens and then everything went black.

	When I woke up, I was in semi-familiar surroundings, like my
hotel room, but not like it. The lighting was dim and there was a
rather muscular man doing something at the dresser, his back to me. I
guess I was pretty confused as the day's events crashed in my head.
"Jake?" I said, almost a croak. The man turned around and I knew I'd
lost it. I recognized the loose curls of his short brown hair, his
chiseled features and full pink lips. It was Jake who'd saved me. It
didn't even matter to me why he'd been here, in Seattle out of all the
places in the world (But, I guess that's a story for another time). He
smiled and carried a cool wet towel over to me, placed it on my head
and knelt beside the bed.

	"How do you feel?" he asked in a whisper.

	"Fabulous," I said, "What happened."

	"You're O.K., now, but you got bashed. The cops got the guys
who did it. I'm just glad I was there."

	This still seemed sort of surreal to me. Jake placed the back
of his hand against my cheek, then pulled back. "Sorry."

	I reached for his hand, "For what?"

	"I know things aren't the way they were, and they never can
be." There was a long pause. "Brad, I'm so sorry."

	I put my fingers to his lips, "Shh. It doesn't matter, now.
It's all over."

	"Yeah," he said, sadly and stood. "You should stay on the bed,
the paramedics said you'll be fine after some rest. Where are you
staying? Do you want me to get some anything for you?"

	"I think I'm staying somewhere in this hotel. This room looks
a lot like mine. But I don't need anything, now." I said, smiling.

	"I'll go, then. It was sure nice to see you again." He spoke
softly, guardedly, I guess afraid to act too familiar.

	"Jake, wait," I started.

	"You don't owe me anything, Brad. This was the least I could
do. I'm going to go now. You've made it clear to me that you don't
want to hear from me."

	"Jake, stop. I know what you're talking about. I never got
your letters. I mean, I just got them today. All of them. It's a long
story, but I read them, every one."

	"And... " he said, confused.

	"Come here," I whispered.

	He sat at the edge of the bed and I hugged him. I held him
tight with both arms, even though they ached. His arms circled me and
we both started crying. "Brad," he said, "I am so sorry for what I
did."

	"It's O.K., Jake. It was so long ago. I missed you so much."

	Jake whispered into my ear, "I love you, Sport."

	I said the only thing I could. "I love you, too, Coach."

	We began to kiss, softly and sweetly, all over each other's
faces and necks. Fireworks. Again, he placed his lips near my ear.

	"Stay with me, tonight," he said.

	"No," I answered.

	Jake broke away from me, and I stood and walked to the door.
There was a long moment of silence before I turned around. "My room's
got a king-sized bed." I said with a smile. I reached out my hand to
him, he took it and rose up to me. He lifted me in his strong arms and
said, "Anything you say, Sport."

	We made love for hours that night, slowly and passionately.
Jake laid me on my back and kissed and licked my body from top to
bottom. He liked and sucked my dick until I came, streaming, into his
mouth. He swallowed, and returned to my face and mouth. When he
entered me, it was quite literally like a void in me was filled at
last. Jake felt like no other man I'd ever known. He was a perfect
lover with a perfect technique. As he slowly rocked us back and forth,
he whispered to me, "I've missed you so much, babe."

	I couldn't get enough of him and he couldn't get enough of me.
Our tongues rarely left each others mouths. Jake began long, deep
strokes of his cock into me whispering, "I just can't get deep enough
inside you." We began to come together, spurting and moaning until our
chests and stomachs were covered with my cum, and I was full of his.
Jake went into the bathroom and returned with a warm, wet towel. He
cleaned me and brought me some aspirin.

	I wanted to crawl inside his skin and cover myself, but I was
content to be held, tenderly, in those massive arms, resting my head
on his broad, sweet chest. His fingers lightly traced patterns in my
hair as he kissed my forehead. It was as if we'd never been apart,
and we promised we'd never be apart again. Jake dozed off, whispering,
"I'm crazy about you." And everything was fine.