From sychc@cadvision.com Tue Apr 22 09:53:20 1997
Newsgroups: alt.sex.fetish.wet-and-messy,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.watersports
Subject: First Experience
From: Runna <sychc@cadvision.com>
Date: Tue, 22 Apr 1997 06:53:20 -0700
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I felt the most exhilarating, and shocking rush as the fluid of dark
golden hue splashed against my skin.
This surprised me, for I was already experiencing waves of anticipation
regarding the impending event.
I did not expect it to feel so hot, and then there was this mixture of
emotions. There was a feeling of doing something  forbidden and taboo,
something I had only really heard about second hand, and in those dirty
books you know. And when I think about it logically, the forbidden
nature of it seems foolish. 

Oh sure, K  had peed on me in the past, but this was somehow very
different. I guess I was doing more than being accommodating. I wanted
it, to  experience the sensations for myself. I suppose that the memory
of those past events had stayed with me somewhere deep in my
subconscious finally coming to the surface in the past six months. You
see there was never really  an acknowledgment between K and I that this
was something special. It was just something she liked to do, and  it
was viewed as a side-effect of her orgasm. 

So  should I of found this new experience degrading, should I have been
repulsed? To have someone stand over me relieving themselves on my
exposed flesh. I keep trying to find this feeling, this would be the
normal response, but I can’t. Instead, there was this unexpected feeling
of comfort and emotional release. At the time, I am not sure if what I
was feeling was sexual arousal. I know that I was overwhelmed with
sensual nature of it, and I found it highly erotic. I wanted to feel the
heat of his piss hit my face, to taste in on my lips. Just wondering how
far I could go, and where would be my limit? I am not sure how to
describe the smell, for again it was not quite how I thought it would
be. In some way, I expected it to be very unappealing. After all, I have
been around so much urine in my nursing career,  Most of that  had been
of a strong  pungent and stale nature, and it so degrading for my
patients that they were no longer in control of their bladders. This had
a wonderful clean smell in spite of it being a bodily waste, and the
voluntary giving and receiving nature of it changed the context.

The experience did not end when his stream ceased, for I could feel how
it saturated my  panties, and how they were clinging against my skin as
if say, this is yours. The contrast of the heat to cold was unpleasant,
but it made the heat all that more appealing. It is like the line from
the Towne’s song “there is nothing dark until something shines”. The
whole  nature of it was a contradiction; on one hand, it seemed  very
impersonal,  but on other side, there was this level of intimacy that is
hard to describe. Yes, I was a receptacle, but I was willing. In some
ways to me it is very symbolic of my life experience, and maybe by
allowing myself this, I release those past feelings. Perhaps, this
explains the warm and clean feeling of release that accompanied it. Who
knows? 

I do know, that my thoughts continue to return it, and I become
extremely sexually aroused. Usually when I masturbate by myself it is
just for the release of sexual tension, and there is minimal pleasure
involved, but last night the images, the sensations of the earlier
experience brought me to a most delicious climax. The kind I really
enjoy, the kind that brings a sudden gush of release, and leaves my 
clitoris to spasm and beg for more. Not right now, you bad girl.

I long to stand, my legs apart, spreading my lips so he can see my hot
pee streaming out of me with a measure of force and defiance, but I
don’t know when and if I can release the control I have over these
impulses. Maybe this is what it is all about. I have always been such a
controlled person. For so many years I convinced myself that was the
correct way to be, and I turned to monastic world for confirmation of
this. Instead of feeling whole and at peace, as was the prediction, it
left me feeling more disconnected from who I really was. I don’t totally
reject the philosophy of the spiritual life, but in order to surrender
one’s sexuality for higher ideals you must first have it, and know what
it is your giving up.

 My sexuality takes so many twists and turns, and occupies such deep
corners of my psyche that I wonder if it would be possible to know  and
understand it all. And perhaps a more important question is, is it
necessary to understand it all? 

(I would be interested in hearing about other people’s experiences ,
first or otherwise)