From sychc@cadvision.com Tue Apr 22 09:53:20 1997 Newsgroups: alt.sex.fetish.wet-and-messy,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.watersports Subject: First Experience From: Runna <sychc@cadvision.com> Date: Tue, 22 Apr 1997 06:53:20 -0700 -------- I felt the most exhilarating, and shocking rush as the fluid of dark golden hue splashed against my skin. This surprised me, for I was already experiencing waves of anticipation regarding the impending event. I did not expect it to feel so hot, and then there was this mixture of emotions. There was a feeling of doing something forbidden and taboo, something I had only really heard about second hand, and in those dirty books you know. And when I think about it logically, the forbidden nature of it seems foolish. Oh sure, K had peed on me in the past, but this was somehow very different. I guess I was doing more than being accommodating. I wanted it, to experience the sensations for myself. I suppose that the memory of those past events had stayed with me somewhere deep in my subconscious finally coming to the surface in the past six months. You see there was never really an acknowledgment between K and I that this was something special. It was just something she liked to do, and it was viewed as a side-effect of her orgasm. So should I of found this new experience degrading, should I have been repulsed? To have someone stand over me relieving themselves on my exposed flesh. I keep trying to find this feeling, this would be the normal response, but I can’t. Instead, there was this unexpected feeling of comfort and emotional release. At the time, I am not sure if what I was feeling was sexual arousal. I know that I was overwhelmed with sensual nature of it, and I found it highly erotic. I wanted to feel the heat of his piss hit my face, to taste in on my lips. Just wondering how far I could go, and where would be my limit? I am not sure how to describe the smell, for again it was not quite how I thought it would be. In some way, I expected it to be very unappealing. After all, I have been around so much urine in my nursing career, Most of that had been of a strong pungent and stale nature, and it so degrading for my patients that they were no longer in control of their bladders. This had a wonderful clean smell in spite of it being a bodily waste, and the voluntary giving and receiving nature of it changed the context. The experience did not end when his stream ceased, for I could feel how it saturated my panties, and how they were clinging against my skin as if say, this is yours. The contrast of the heat to cold was unpleasant, but it made the heat all that more appealing. It is like the line from the Towne’s song “there is nothing dark until something shines”. The whole nature of it was a contradiction; on one hand, it seemed very impersonal, but on other side, there was this level of intimacy that is hard to describe. Yes, I was a receptacle, but I was willing. In some ways to me it is very symbolic of my life experience, and maybe by allowing myself this, I release those past feelings. Perhaps, this explains the warm and clean feeling of release that accompanied it. Who knows? I do know, that my thoughts continue to return it, and I become extremely sexually aroused. Usually when I masturbate by myself it is just for the release of sexual tension, and there is minimal pleasure involved, but last night the images, the sensations of the earlier experience brought me to a most delicious climax. The kind I really enjoy, the kind that brings a sudden gush of release, and leaves my clitoris to spasm and beg for more. Not right now, you bad girl. I long to stand, my legs apart, spreading my lips so he can see my hot pee streaming out of me with a measure of force and defiance, but I don’t know when and if I can release the control I have over these impulses. Maybe this is what it is all about. I have always been such a controlled person. For so many years I convinced myself that was the correct way to be, and I turned to monastic world for confirmation of this. Instead of feeling whole and at peace, as was the prediction, it left me feeling more disconnected from who I really was. I don’t totally reject the philosophy of the spiritual life, but in order to surrender one’s sexuality for higher ideals you must first have it, and know what it is your giving up. My sexuality takes so many twists and turns, and occupies such deep corners of my psyche that I wonder if it would be possible to know and understand it all. And perhaps a more important question is, is it necessary to understand it all? (I would be interested in hearing about other people’s experiences , first or otherwise)