@7
  A woman asks the price of cucumbers at a market. 
 "Thirty cents each," says the grocer, "but I can give you two for half a 
dollar." 
  "Oh, all right," shrugs the woman.  "I suppose I can always eat the other 
one." 

          
   How about the horny King who was shipwrecked on a desert island with only 
the court jester? 
   After three weeks on the island, the King was at his wit's end.
          

   A guy finishes crapping in a public john.  As he stands to flush, a dime 
falls out of his pocket and lands in the toilet.  He quickly empties all his 
change into the toilet. 
   "What the hell did you do that for?" asks a guy passing by.
   "Shit," the first guy says, "You don't think I'd go in after a 
damned dime, do ya?" 

          
   A guy picks up a really double-ugly hooker, takes he behind the public rest 
room in a park and bangs her.  Then he checks his wallet and says, "Listen, 
all I have is a $1 bill." 
   "Well," says the hooker, "You wanna do it again?  I don't have any change 
either." 

          
    A boy and girl walk into a bank to deposit a big bagful of change.
   "Well, well," smiles the grandmotherly teller, "did you hoard all of this 
yourselves?" 
   "My sister whored," says the boy.  "I pimped."
          

    She buried six husbands and countless lovers and finally she was being 
buried herself.  At the funeral, one mourner said to another, "At long last 
they'er together again." 
    "Which husband do you mean?" asked the other.
    "None of them, I'm talking about her legs."
          
    This kid walks into a general store one day and asks for a job.  The owner 
tells him that he doesn't need any help.  The kid is persistent so the guy 
tells him to watch him when the next customer comes in.  If he can do what he 
does he'll give him a job.  A few minutes later a customer comes in. 
    "Good afternoon, sir.  What can I do for you?"
    The customer says, "I need some grass seed." So the owner goes and gets it.
When he gets back he says, "How about a lawnmower to go with this?" 
    "What do I need a lawnmower for?"
    "Well, when the grass grows you're going to need something to cut it 
with." 
     "Yeah, okay, I'll take a lawnmower too."
    After the customer was gone the owner turned to the kid and said,
    "That's how it's done.  Can you do that?"
    The kid says, "Sure."
    So the next customer comes in and says, "I need some Tampax."
    The kid says, "Yessir!" and goes after them.  When he gets back he asks, 
"Would you like a lawnmower to go with that?" 
    The customer says, "What the hell do I need a lawnmower for?"
    The kid replies, "You might as well cut the grass, your weekend is fucked, 
that's for sure..." 
          

     A father expecting a son has a daughter instead.  He complains to the 
doctor that he was waiting for a baby with a penis. 
     "Yes," says the smiling docter.  "But in about 18 yrs, she'll have a 
beautiful place to put one." 
          

     There's these two whales under the water, and they see a boat full of 
guys up above them.  The one whale turns to the other and says, "Hey, I've got 
a good idea.  Let's swim right up to the bottom of the boat and blow real 
hard, and then when the sailors fall out of the boat, let's eat 'em!" 
     The other whales thinks for a second and then goes, "Well, I don't know.  
The blow job I can handle, but I just don't know about swallowing the seamen." 
          

     When the delegate from the emerging African nation was in Moscow, he 
watched a game of Russian roulette.  Someone put the barrel of a pistol to his 
head and pulled the trigger.  One of the six chambers contained a real bullet.  
Later when the Russian delegate was visiting the African nation. 
     The Ambassador said,
     "We would like to show you our version of your roulette."
     "How do you play it?"
     The Ambassador pointed to six buxom African girls sitting in a circle. 
     "Any one of these girls will give you a blow job."
     "Where is the roulette part?  Where is the jeopardy?"
     "Well, said the African Ambassador, "one of the girls is a cannibal!"
          

     The Egyptian general was making the rounds to some of the more isolated 
outposts in Saudi Arabia.  As he inspected the camp he said to the Sargent, 
"What's that camel over behind that tent over there used for?" 
     "Well, sir," said the Sargent, "This is a lonely spot and there are no 
women in camp.  So we have her here for recreational purposes." 
     "Oh, really," said the General, thinking he would stay around for dinner.  
After it became dark, the general got a little lonely himself and thought he'd 
have a shot at that camel himself.  He was just hitting his stride with her 
when the sargent came around the corner, catching the general in mid-stroke. 
     "Oh, sargent", said the startled general, "Is this the way the men do
it?" 
     "Well not exactly sir.  The men usually just use her to take them into 
town." 
          

      The blind daters had really hit it off and at the end of the evening, as 
they were beginning to undress each other in his apartment, the fellow said, 
"Before we go any further, Charmaine, tell me, do you have any special 
fetishes that I should take into account in bed?" 
      "As a matter of fact," smiled the girl, "I do happen to have a foot 
fetish, but I suppose I'd settle for maybe seven or eight inches." 
          

    On this farm there used to be a cat and a rooster among other animals, 
but the rooster and the cat didn't get along very well.  The cat was nosy 
about where the rooster went everyday, but the rooster wouldn't tell him 
anything at all and this made the cat mad. 
    So one day the cat decided to follow the rooster to see where it was he 
went everyday.  He followed the rooster to a stream where the rooster would 
jump across, but the cat was afraid of falling in.  This went on about a week 
and then the one day the rooster saw the cat follow him and stop at the stream 
too afraid to cross over. 
    The rooster started jumping back and fourth across the stream teasing the 
cat because he was a afraid to jump over. 
    This made the cat very mad and he decided if the rooster could do it then 
so could he.  The cat got a running start and jumped but landed in the middle 
of the stream where he drowned. 
    The moral of this story is that for every satisfied cock there is a wet 
pussy. 
          

    The famous Greek ship owner, Ari Aristotle, was having a house built on a 
large piece of land in Greece.  He said to the architect, "Don't disturb that 
tree over there because directly under that tree is where I had my first sex." 
    "How sentimental, Mr.  Aristotle," the architect said, "Right under that 
tree?" 
    "Yes," continued Ari Aristotle, "And don't touch that tree over there 
either.  Because that's where her mother stood watching while I was having my 
first sex." 
    "Her mother just stood watching while you were fucking her daughter!" 
    "Yes." said the Greek ship owner. 
    "But, Mr Aristotle, what did her mother say?" 
    "Baaaa!!" 

@9