Subject: ARCHIVE: M.K.Smith  "Discovery" 

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                          DISCOVERY
                     by Michael K. Smith


    The first two months of my junior year in college, back in
1975, promised a pretty boring winter ahead.  My semi-girlfriend of
the previous spring had transferred to another school.  My classes
were nearly all "have-to-takes" and its difficult for a history
major to work up enthusiasm for Botany and German Lit.  My first
two years' grades had been pretty good -- that was a principal
condition in keeping my on-campus job -- but I had a dismal
premonition that I would really have to concentrate to maintain my
GPA.  Moreover, my job assignment that fall was twenty hours a week
in the library's Government Documents Department -- also a
guaranteed yawner.  And on top of everything else, by the first of
October the usually dependable North Texas weather had turned
consistently gray and rainy.  You could almost feel the depression
rate rise on campus.

   Then a possible distraction arrived in the form of a pretty
little blonde, one of whose research assignments led her to begin
spending time in Gov Docs.  I was careful to find out what her
topic was so I could be sure to familiarize myself with the
materials; with any luck, she would come to depend on me as a
knowledgeable source of information and we could get acquainted. 
(If it isn't already obvious, I was chronically shy about meeting
new girls.)  Well, the theory may have been sound, but in practice
she was simply too library-savvy to require much help ... or too
dumb to realize she needed it.  Ah, well....

   Late one dull Friday, I happened to be sitting at the reference
desk, gazing at the back of the blonde's head, enjoying the play of
the afternoon light on those flaxen curls, and wishing I had the
nerve to just walk over and introduce myself.  So I happened to see
her red leather pocketbook slide silently off the pile of
belongings on the adjacent chair, onto the floor and behind the
table leg.  I began to get up, to go tell her about it, but then I
hesitated and looked around.  Only a few other students in the
department, all intent on their work.  I sat down again and kept
one eye on the blonde and the pocketbook.

   About twenty minutes later, she looked suddenly at her watch and
began hurriedly gathering all her notes and books together and
stuffing them in her bookbag.  Then she was up and walking quickly
toward the elevator.  The seat of her jeans twitched interestingly
when she was in a hurry -- and she seemed not to have missed her
pocketbook.  I waited another two minutes, in case she returned in
frantic search of her possessions.  But she didn't, so I got up,
walked to her vacated table, retrieved the pocketbook, and returned
casually to the reference desk.

   It was a clutch purse thing, with a currency divider ($6.00), a
coin pocket (two dimes and a nickel), and a stack of plastic
windows filled with credit cards and an assortment of family photos
(including an unpleasant-looking cocker spaniel), and -- BINGO --
her student ID card. "Georgette Hepler," with an address over on
Maple, where a number of older, larger houses had been subdivided
into makeshift student apartments.

   "Georgette"?  I had to smile.  She looked more like a "Cindy" or
a "Traci"; probably her friends called her "Georgie" or "George." 
When I left the library at 3:30 the pocketbook was tucked safely in
my insideraincoat pocket and my mind was turning over the
possibilities.

   Continuing to live in a dorm was also part of my work-study
deal, but this year I was the floor "counselor" (i.e., warden),
with my own phone and no roommate.  Georgette wasn't in the book
(not many undergraduates were, they moved so often), but
Information gave me her number and I called her about 5:00,
figuring she would have discovered her loss by now, be
appropriately frantic, and therefore appropriately grateful.  Then
I could ask her out for a coke or something and she would feel
duty-bound to accept.  I hoped.

   When she answered on the second ring, I said, as businesslike as
I could manage, "Is this Georgette Hepler?"

   A pause.  "Uh, yes?  I mean, speaking."

   "This is Mike Leary -- from the library?"  No response.  "I'm
the tall, red-haired guy who works in Government Docs..."

   "Oh!  Yes, I think I know you.  Uh, what can I do for you?"

   "Actually," I replied, " I think I can do something for you.  I
found a pocketbook on the floor as I was leaving today..."

   "Oh, thank God!  Red leather, right?  I've been looking all over
for it!"

   "Well, I've got it."  Brilliant comeback, I thought: You sound
like you're going to hold it for ransom.  "You live on Maple,
right?  I'm headed that way anyway--" (Damn right I was!) "--and I
could drop it off..."

   "That would be *so* nice of you,... Mike, was it?  I'd really be
grateful."

   "Well, you'll see me in about half an hour then, okay?"

   She thanked me again and hung up.  This sounded promising.  I
went in search of a clean shirt.

   

   I had been in several houses like the one where Georgette lived:
Big frame places with screened-in porches that predated central
heating and air conditioning.  Those near campus had mostly been
subdivided into two apartments downstairs and two more upstairs,
and they were relatively cheap; if you were lucky, you got the
quarter of the house with the original kitchen or the original
bathroom, both of which were quite large by today's standards.  Her
place had two VW beetles parked in the cracked concrete drive and
a moped leaning against the porch column.  According to the index
card taped beside the mailbox, "G. Hepler" lived in No. 3,
upstairs.

   There were no inside doorbells, of course, so I knocked and
tried to think of something witty to say.  But when the door
opened, my mind went as blank as an unplugged TV screen.  Framed in
the doorway was a tall, slender, black girl with enormous dark eyes
set in an oval face, thick hair draped in waves across her
shoulders, and a rather commanding presence. Her face reminded me
of someone, but I couldn't think who.

   She noted my open mouth, looked me up and down with two quick
glances, and waited for me to say something.  When I continued
mute, she shifted her stance to the other leg and gave me a
slightly scornful half-smile.

   "Yes?"  One eyebrow arched.

   "Oh -- uh, yeah.  I was looking for Georgette...?"  I peered at
the aluminum number tacked to the door: No. 3, all right.  I looked
back to her face, which was a smooth shade of almond toffee, and
swallowed -- which made me look even more stupid.

   She smiled with just her upper teeth (perfectly aligned and
dazzlingly white), stepped aside, and gestured me in.  "George!"
she called toward the bedroom.  "Someone to see you!"  (I was
right: "George.")

   I ran a rapid visual catalog of her as I entered: Very short
cutoff jeans -- so short, the white pocket material stuck out below
the bottom edge -- and a thin yellow tank-top with lingerie lace
around the armholes. Apparently no bra, judging by the independent
movement of her high, conical breasts beneath the material. 
Barefoot, she was only about an inch shorter than me, and I'm just
under six feet tall.  As she led the way to a rather beat-up sofa
("student issue," as we used to say), I made additional note of her
long, graceful legs, the swaying of that rich, satiny hair at her
shoulderblades, and the fact that her shorts were also cut pretty
high in the back.   Then I remembered my manners and said "I'm Mike
Leary, by the way."  She stopped and turned abruptly.

   "Sorry -- Cindy Hamilton."  And she matter-of-factly held out
her hand. I took it and felt a little thrill at its cool softness
(but I was easily thrilled by the touch of almost any girl my age
in those days).  Her grip was firm and emotionally neutral.  And I
had to smother the urge to grin: This girl had the WASP name I had
expected from her little blonde roommate!

   Georgette emerged from the only bedroom, fastening a gold hoop
earring. She was wearing a cashmere sweater and new-looking bell-
bottom slacks.  It seemed she had *expected* us to go out, which
was more than I had hoped for.  I should have known better.

   "Rick -- my boyfriend -- will be here in a few minutes, so I'm
glad you could come by before I left."

   I pulled the red clutch from my coat pocket and handed it to her
with a little mock-bow; it didn't even get me a patronizing smile. 
Georgette riffled quickly through the currency pocket and the
credit cards, which annoyed me; if I had intended to rip her off,
would I have brought the damn thing back?  Then she pulled the
corner of a fiver from the clutch and looked up at me uncertainly.

   "Can I offer you...?"  I was so taken aback I was speechless --
and instantly angry.

   "George!" the black girl snapped, setting her fists on her
narrow hips. "This guy was nice enough to bring back something that
you lost and he found -- and you're offering him a TIP?!"  Her
slender eyebrows made a flat line, dangerously low.

   The blonde shrugged and said "Sorry..." in a genuinely innocent
tone that made it clear she had no idea what her breach of manners
had been.  I got the impression her roommate scolded her regularly
for such infractions and that she accepted it.  At least Cindy had
given me time to bite back what I WOULD have said.

   The black girl opened her mouth to continue but a knock at the
door cut her off.  Georgette quickly opened it to admit a burly,
superior-looking character I assumed was Rick.  His crewcut was
even blonder than Georgette's hair.

   Rick didn't even bother to glance in our direction as he helped
his date on with her raincoat.  Georgette waved her fingers, little
girl style.

   "I'll be out late, Cin.  Bye-bye!"

   Cindy gave her a wave of resigned dismissal and shook her head
as the door closed.  She sighed and her eyebrows returned to their
normal steepled appearance.  (Who DID she remind me of...?)

   "Look, man -- Mike, was it? -- I have to apologize for George. 
I mean, she's a nice person and all, she really is ... but the girl
just wasn't raised right.  She wouldn't insult anyone deliberately
and she hates to hurt anyone's feelings, but sometimes she doesn't
think about what she says or does -- before OR after."  I saw a bit
of a twinkle as she folded her arms.  "I'm teaching her, though!" 
She smiled again, this time with all her teeth -- and I knew
instantly why that lovely face was familiar.

   

   A few weeks before, I had been waiting uneasily in a dentist's
office to have a cavity drilled and filled, and to keep my mind off
the coming ordeal I was leafing through every old magazine in the
office.  One was a copy of VOGUE, not something I ordinarily read,
but I paused at several points in that issue to reflect on how
beautiful some of the models were.  Well, sexy, too, many of them
... but a few possessed a serene, "primary" kind of beauty that
fascinated me.

   One of the models, with a photo feature all to herself, was a
tall, willowy African girl (Ethiopian?  I couldn't remember).  She
had a long, oval face, heavy-lidded eyes below steepled brows, and
little white teeth that were meant for nibbling on a man's ear. 
And her gaze was assured and regal.  Her name was Iman and I
thought she was gorgeous.

   

   Cindy Hamilton wasn't Iman, physically or otherwise, but the
generic similarity was there.  I suspected someone meeting the two
of them together would take them for close cousins.   I suddenly
realized Cindy was regarding me with a puzzled look.

   "What?" she asked.

   I could imagine what my face must look like and I flushed and
tried to turn away.  She caught my arm and moved in front of me.

   "Hey!  What?!"

   So I had to explain about VOGUE and Iman and the resemblance I
imagined I saw.

   "You're saying you think I look like Iman?  The fashion model?"

   "Yes -- kind of.  Not *like* her, exactly, but pretty much the
same type...."

   She kept looking at me with an expression I couldn't quite
fathom. Would she laugh?  Or get angry, thinking I was making fun
of her?  Then I realized that *Cindy* was blushing; I just couldn't
detect it.

   "I think you're flattering me, but I can't imagine why, so...
thank you."  For a moment, the tall dignified young woman with the
complexion of oiled teak looked like a thirteen-year-old who has
just been told for the first time by a boy that she's pretty.  It
made me feel warm inside.

   I stuck my hands in my coat pockets.  "Well, I guess I'd better
be go---"  I was interrupted by a cymbal-clash of thunder right
over the house that made us both jump.  Then we both laughed at our
reactions, too, and went to look out the front window.  In the
dusk, the earlier dampness had become a downpour so heavy I could
barely make out the street.

   "Well, no good deed goes unpunished, you know," Cindy observed
wryly. She was standing close beside me now, her bare arm brushing
my sleeve.  I glanced down and saw that her bare foot was only an
inch from my shoe.  I looked up again to find her studying me.  Her
eyes had become larger and softer, almost hypnotic.  I was afraid
that if I didn't think fast, I'd try to kiss her -- and she'd
probably deck me.  So I tried to take the cowardly way out.

   "No problem; I'll wait down on the porch until this front blows
through. It'll let up some in a few minutes."

   She responded with a musical laugh.  "What, so you can drown
slow instead of fast?  I'm not going to be responsible for that! 
Your coat, please...."  And, stepping up close in front of me, she
reached out and pushed my raincoat back off my shoulders.  She
seemed surprised, confused at her own actions.  I caught the coat
on my elbows before it hit the floor.  For a few seconds, our noses
were no more than an inch apart and this time I let myself stare
back into her eyes.  I won: She looked down and a wave of her hair
swung out from behind her ear and tickled my cheek. Then she
stepped back and the moment was past.  I handed her my coat and
pretended my fingers weren't trembling and my pulse wasn't
pounding.

   The smell of her, rich and warm, remained behind while she hung
my coat in the closet.  I replayed slowly the up-close details I
had observed in that instant: Thick, long lashes that needed no
mascara; a narrow blade of a nose that spoke of a thoroughly mixed
gene pool; full lips defining a rather small mouth; delicate ears
with almost no lobe; a smooth, high, unblemished forehead that
vanished behind a mass of combed-back, iridescent hair; the small
but full breasts with rigid nipples that pushed against the fabric
of her tank top; and, above all, those liquid eyes, which I could
see now were not black but a very deep brown, like caramelized
sugar.

   Walking back toward me, she moved her hips more than she had
earlier, and somehow I knew it was instinctual on her part, a
counter-reaction to whatever it was that was happening here.

   "Would you like a cup of coffee while we wait for the rain to
let up?" She had regained her poise; her features were composed and
I was at a disadvantage again.  Well, I could at least try not to
sound like an idiot.

   "Yes, coffee would be great."  (Good -- a simple declarative
sentence with no stammering.)  I followed her into the kitchen,
which must have been a large linen closet in its former life.  I
imagined you could prepare an entire meal there without shifting
your feet.  An elderly wooden table just large enough for its two
chairs stood in the middle of the room and Cindy nodded me to one
of them.  I sat and watched her boil a pot of coffee with a
graceful economy of movement.  She poured two cups (mismatched),
sat, and deliberately waited until I was taking my first sip before
speaking.

   "You were hoping to ask Georgette out on a date, weren't you?"

   I choked and sputtered while Cindy put her hand to her mouth to
smotherher laughter.  I glared as I wiped coffee off my chin.  Why
did she keep putting me on the defensive like that?

   Her eyes danced as she tried to appear contrite.  "Listen, I'm
sorry, I really am -- I really have to learn not to do that to
people!"  She reached across the table with a paper napkin and
dabbed at a coffee spot on my throat, and I felt a tiny spark of
female electricity pass through her finger and into my chest.  I
wondered if she had also felt it.  I had to say something, so I
answered her question.

   "Yes, I WAS thinking of asking her out, actually.  I see her at
the library almost every day.  She's very attractive and I'm not
dating anyone, and, well...."  I shrugged and Cindy nodded
sympathetically.

   "Yes, the old dating rat-race can get to be a pain sometimes,
can't it? I don't go on dates much myself, but I don't mind it." 
I thought maybe she did mind.

   "I find that hard to believe, Cindy."  It was the first time I
had spoken her name aloud and I liked the taste of it.  "In fact,
I would think you'd be fending off guys with a stick."

   "Yeah, well.  Maybe I'm just picky."  She folded her long
fingers around her coffee cup and studied her nails.

   I took a sip; Cindy made very good coffee.  "Would you go out
with me, then?"

   "Yeah.  Right."  She didn't look up.

   "All right -- how about tomorrow night?  I'm afraid I don't have
a car, but--"

   Her head snapped up in alarm.  "Wait a minute -- you were
joking, weren't you?"

   "No."  I took another sip.  "I wasn't kidding."  I was the one
who didn't blink this time.  "I'd be honored if you'd go out with
me, Cindy." She just stared at me narrowly.

   "Why?"

   I could have been a smart ass ("Because I'm a masochist" came to
mind...), but I wanted her to take me seriously because I WAS
serious. There had to be a reason for this girl's
aggressive/defensive tactics and I wanted to know what it was.

   "Because I think you're a very interesting girl and I'd really
like to get to know you better.  And I think it'd be fun.  But why
are you so surprised I would ask?"

   "Okay, assuming you mean what you say -- I guess maybe you do --
haven't you noticed anything about me?"  She leaned back in her
chair, head cocked, and ran her right hand slowly up and down her
smooth, bare left arm.  I wished it were my fingers doing that.

   "I've noticed you're a knockout...."  Odd, how I was becoming
more confident at this give-and-take.  I folded my arms.

   She made a small, frustrated sound.  "Mike," she said slowly and
I savored the sound of my name from her lips.  "Look at me: I'm
black."

   "Really?  I see a very lovely shade of brown.  But what about
it?"

   "Dammit, don' you see?  I cain't be runnin' aroun' with no ---" 
She stopped abruptly and bit her lip.  Then she took a deep breath
and put her hands to her forehead.  "My father would kill me if he
heard me say that," she murmured.

   I had discovered something important: Cindy had worked hard at
acquiring the precision of speech and vocabulary that is
(supposedly) the hallmark of an educated person.  When she became
upset, she sometimes slipped back into what was, I assumed, a
childhood speech pattern.  And she had just done it in front of a
white boy who said he was interested in her.  I leaned forward on
my elbows and reached out my hand in her direction.

   "Cindy, please look at me," I said softly.  She lowered her
hands and I thought I saw a damp spot at the corner of her eye --
but if it was there, she certainly wouldn't admit to it by wiping
it away.

   "If I embarrassed you, I'm very sorry," I continued, low and
slow.  "I like you, and I wouldn't do that to you.  If you mean
people would object to the two of us going on a date,... ask me if
I care.  If it matters to you,... well, I'll apologize again and go
away and leave you alone."  Her folded hands were resting on the
table and I laid my hand gently atop hers. "DOES it matter?"

   After a few seconds of silence and stillness, she withdrew her
hands andI felt a little ache of disappointment.  But then she took
my hand in both of hers and began absently tracing the bones
beneath the skin with one fingertip.  The hairs rose all up my arm.

   "You know, you're very sweet."  She studied my hand.  "But I
don't think you understand.  Have you ever dated black girls in
Texas before?"  I didn't trust my voice not to crack so I shook my
head.

   "My Daddy was the first in our family to finish high school. 
Then he went to college on the G.I. Bill, after the Korean War. 
Got a business degree, a good job -- for a black man.  Made 'middle
management' even.  He reads a great deal, anything he can get his
hands on.  And he taught himself to speak like the white men he
worked with.  He's gotten to be good friends with some of them,
too, but I know others think he's... 'uppity'. You know.  He puts
up with it.  And he made his kids speak proper English. We did at
home, anyway.  But at school we talked 'jes lahk all de udduhs'."
She glanced up at me for a moment.

   "You should hear my kid brother, Kenny; he's still in high
school.  I've heard him in debate competitions -- beautiful
diction, voice like Clarence Darrow.  And he wants to go to law
school, too.  But running around with his friends, it's all 'bro'
this and 'I be' that and 'homeboy' the other. And they all go to a
good private school -- they're educated!  But they want to sound
like ghetto kids!"  There were tears dripping from her lashes now,
but she ignored them.

   "One reason I like Georgette, she doesn't think there's anything
odd in a white girl asking a black girl to share an apartment with
her.  You've already seen how naive she can be.  She tells me some
of the snide things she hears other girls say about us; I have to
explain it all to her ... and she still doesn't get it.  We're just
friends -- that's all that matters to her."

   I understood something else, now: Cindy might chew out her
friend for saying or doing dumb or thoughtless things, but she
would never tolerate an unkindness to Georgette.  If I had said
what I was thinking when I was offered that "tip," I'd have been
out on my ass in two seconds.

   "Anyway, the black guys on this campus mostly think I'm trying
to be 'white' because I won't play the role they expect of me.  Or
else I'm a lesbian with a white girlfriend.  Opinions vary."  Cindy
released my hand and wiped her tears away with two quick motions. 
She took another sip of coffee and made a face.

   "Cold.  Would you like some fresh?"  The imperious expression
was gone from her face; she looked more like an ordinary person. 
A *beautiful* ordinary person.

   "Yes, please.  Um, may I say something about all this?"  She
nodded without looking directly at me.

   "I don't know about you, but I played basketball for a couple
years in high school, in Dallas...."  She flashed a grin; any girl
that tall would be under continual pressure from the coaching
staff.

   "I wasn't great at it but I held up my end.  Anyway, our team
was about half-and-half, black and white.  When you're jammed on a
team bus for an overnighter, you can't help but get to know each
other.  There were a few guys I didn't like much, for various
reasons.  Most of the rest, we all got along okay most of the time. 
A couple of the guys, though, we became pretty good friends off the
court.

   "Gary Wanstead was a good-looking guy, always had the girls
hanging on his shirttail; he used to try to fix them up with other
guys on the team so they'd leave *him* alone!  Nice guy, though;
tough and gentle both.  His family came down from Boston and he
went back up there to go to school: Boston College on an athletic
scholarship.  But he's also holding a 4.0 average.  I tell him I'm
going to wait until he's made his first million and then blackmail
him for an executive position, using his sordid past."

   I laughed, remembering Gary's fondness for horrible puns; he'd
get you into some strange, drawn-out discussion just so he could
spring a really awful pun on you.

   "The other guy was named Jack Orwell -- we called him 'Jackie
O.' He grew up in the service, like I did, so we had things in
common.  He's the serious type.  I mean, he has a sense of humor,
but it's the razor blade variety.  He's in his second year at the
Air Force Academy."  Cindy gave me a look, wondering where all this
was going.   "Well, I took some flack from certain guys on the team
-- the ones I didn't like much -- for hanging out with Gary and
Jack so much.  And it pissed me off.  But both of them got grief
from some of THEIR other friends for hanging around with ME.  And
that pissed me off even more but they sat me down and explained it
to me.  Gary said, and I quote, 'I don't think you could
understand'."  Cindy looked at me sharply.

   "That was what really got to me: My friends not wanting me to be
angry for the way some people treated them, much less me.  I
wouldn't talk to either of them for weeks.  We finally patched it
up, of course -- no hard feelings.  We were friends, after all." 
I stopped and sipped at the fresh cup of coffee Cindy had just
poured for me.

   She sat down and held up a hand.  "Just a minute; let me guess
the punch line of this story.  Are you about to tell me these two
friends of yours were black?"

   "As far as I know, they still are.  Much 'blacker' than you. 
'Course, I never asked either of them for a *date*...."  I could
practically hear the little wheels going around in that pretty
head, as she gave me a very thoughtful look.

   "Cindy, when I stood there like a damn dummy at the door, it was
because I was expecting my knock to be answered by a short, cute
girl ... not a tall, beautiful one."  As I said that, I knew it
sounded like a line.  But Cindy's expression hadn't changed.  "I'm
attracted to you and I really would like to get to know you better. 
Much better."

   She didn't say anything but she stood and stepped around by my
chair so I stood, too.  She looked like she had made a decision. 
She nervously pushed her hair behind her ears and said "I'll
compromise with you: I won't go out on a regular date with you,
Mike -- not yet.  But it would make ME very happy if you could come
over here sometimes and... and be my friend. We could talk.  And
things...."

   Cindy hesitated and sucked at her lower lip.  Then she murmured
"Oh, hell..." and her long arms were suddenly around my neck and
her breasts were gouging craters in my chest and her lips were
touching mine.  Light, feathery touches, followed by a warm, steady
pressure that made me lightheaded.  I put my arms around her
slender body and encountered the heat from her back beneath my
palms.  In another moment we were in a tight clinch, pressed
together from noses to knees, each tongue coiling about the other. 
It was an act almost of desperation, punctuated by moans and
frantic hands moving everywhere.

   We had to come up for air but our lips didn't move far apart. 
Her eyes flicked about my face and I knew I was doing the same.  It
was a little strange: I was certainly thinking about sex with this
gorgeous creature but it didn't necessarily involve fucking --
which I imagined was out of the question anyway.  Mostly, I wanted
to put my hands all over her and feel those long fingers of hers on
me.  I wanted to enjoy simply looking at her, drinking her in.  I'd
be satisfied with that.

   Cindy was breathing hard, almost into my mouth.  "God, I haven't
felt like this for ages," she whispered.

   "I haven't felt anything like YOU in my entire life," I
whispered back. "Could we go into the living room?"  I wanted to
get her on that beat-up old sofa.

   "No -- but we could go into the bedroom...."  She said it as if
her unconscious was thinking for her and she wasn't sure what would
come out of her mouth.

   "You're sure?"  She nodded quickly.  "Then let's go."  My
God....

   Cindy took my hand and led me through the two doorways to what
I hoped would be Paradise.  Standing next to one of the two single
beds, I made to take her in my arms again but she backed off a few
feet and held up a hand. "No, let me do this ... before I lose my
nerve.  Or get my senses back." She took a breath like she was
about to jump into a cold pool.  Then she swiftly pulled the tank-
top over her head.

   My mouth fell open.  It was still less than two minutes since
our lips had parted in the kitchen; I'd had no time to prepare
myself for this. Cindy's breasts were the same milk chocolate shade
as the rest of her and they were so perfect and firm-looking I
almost couldn't believe they were real.  Her collarbone and the
arch of her ribs served as a frame.  The areolae were a darker
brown, swollen like miniature volcanoes.  Herblue-black nipples
stood out slightly from the tips and pointed up over my head
somewhere.  I sat rather suddenly on the end of the bed.

   Cindy put her hands behind her back in a nervous gesture; the
effect was to separate and lift those perfect breasts even more. 
If a Platonic ideal existed for a woman's breasts, I was gazing at
them.

   "More?" she whispered.  She also seemed short of breath.  I
nodded, mouth still open.

   She unbuttoned her cutoffs and lowered the zipper, and then
pushed her shorts and her panties together below her knees.  As she
bent forward, her breasts formed a textbook catenary curve.  Then
she straightened and shifted her weight from hip to hip a few times
so her shorts would drop the rest of the way.  She stepped out of
them and stood looking at me with her hands folding and unfolding. 
Looking at Cindy's long, slim, smooth body, I thought that if I
should die of a stroke at that very instant, I'd go happy.

   She cleared her throat slightly.  "Still think I'm pretty?"
Unbelievably, it wasn't a come-on.

   I shook my head slowly as my mouth silently opened and closed a
few times.  "You are the most perfect-looking girl -- woman -- I
have ever seen... or that *anyone* has ever seen."  I spoke slowly,
working out exactly what I wanted to say.  "Cindy, just looking at
you makes me want to cry, you're so absolutely beautiful...."  Then
I had to swallow before I really did choke up.

   The look on her face held a kind of wonder, like a two-year-old
who has just seen the Christmas tree lights switched on for the
first time.  Her image of herself was apparently nothing like my
reaction to her incredible magnificence.

   She walked the few feet to where I sat, still stunned.  She
searched my eyes and discovered I was telling the truth.  Then the
tears did come, leaking from the corners of her almond eyes, moving
down her cheeks in tiny waterfalls.  She didn't even sniffle as she
set her hands on my shoulders.

   My hands moved by themselves to her breasts, cupping them and
measuring their weight.  They filled my hands as though the
designer had had this moment in mind all along.  She leaned her
knees against the bed on either side of my legs and I scooted back
so she could kneel astride my lap.  And when I carefully took a
nipple between my lips and touched my tongue to it, she stroked the
back of my head and cooed softly.

   I sucked all of that little mound into my mouth; it tasted like
Cindy. I wondered if all of her was the same wonderful flavor.  As
my tongue moved around and across, her fingers tightened on my hair
and pushed my head forward more urgently.  My hands moved to her
waist, which was narrow and tight in my grip.  Then back over the
swell of her buttocks; she twitched her ass muscles and my fingers
tingled as they had before.

   "Your turn," she breathed.  With great reluctance, I released
her breast and leaned back on my arms so she could reach my shirt
buttons.  She settled back on my lap and I was instantly aware of
the nearness of her secret depths to my crotch.  The movement had
opened the cleft between her legs and I could see a hint of pink
below the small ebon triangle of pubic hair.  I let my hands glide
up and down her flanks, savoring the soft, downy hair I couldn't
see.

   Then my shirt was open and pushed back, and I sat up again to
get rid of it and to haul off my T-shirt.  We kissed again while I
was there but Cindy cut it short; her face promised marvelous
things to come.  She pushed me onto my back and unbuckled my belt
and opened my zipper.  Then she had to roll off onto the bed so I
could rip off my shoes and socks and shuck my slacks.  She propped
herself up on her elbow and observed closely when I pushed off my
briefs.  My cock was at half-mast and still ascending, and Cindy's
eyes gleamed.

   I lay carefully on my side facing her and let my eyes close for
a moment when her hand moved in a cautious exploration of my chest
and abdomen.  I had always regarded male nipples as evidence of
God's sense of humor -- until Cindy's fingertips, and then her
tongue, discovered them.  She pushed me onto my back again with a
warm smile that gave me tingles of anticipation.

   Without warning or foreplay, and without using her hands, she
abruptly swooped down and inhaled the head of my penis.  The
unexpected shock ofcontact made me gasp aloud -- the reaction she
was hoping for, I was sure. My sexual nerve endings lit up all
green when her tongue swept along the underside of the shaft and it
was my turn to bury my fingers in her luxuriant hair.  She
certainly knew what she was doing but I had the impression
nevertheless that she'd had no sex of any kind for some time.
Perhaps I was a welcome release to her, as she was a revelation to
me. Maybe this could happen only once for us.  If necessary, I
could live with that.

   But if this did turn out to be our only encounter, I wasn't
willing to end it with a climax so soon.  I tugged a little at her
hair and she released my cock with an audible *pop*, snaking her
way back up my body until she was stretched out on top of me.

   Ever since I began seriously making out with girls, I had had to
accommodate their much smaller size.  Cindy was a delight in that
respect, too.  She could rub noses with me while tickling the tops
of my feet with her toes.  Our bodies matched.

   We kissed again, less frantically, her hands pressed against my
chest and my arms wrapped around her.  Her hair was considerably
less tidy than when we began and wild curls dripped down around my
head.  Less than thirty minutes since leaving the kitchen, and we
both seemed to feel we had been making love to each other for years
... a state of mutual intoxication.

   We remained like that for some time, relaxed and intimate, and
in no hurry.  She shifted her body slightly every minute or two so
that we kept discovering new points of physical contact.  We were
so comfortable with each other, we even dozed.  Then she would
nibble my ear or I would squeeze her delicate ass, and we would be
off again, kissing and clutching and moaning.

   Finally, lying there on the bed in the dim light from the other
room and the fuzzy glow of a streetlight through the window -- the
rain had long since stopped -- I realized I could wait no longer. 
My cock had grown rigid and hard between Cindy's heated thighs; it
was beginning to ache with the unfulfilled desire to bury itself in
her.  But I didn't carry condoms around with me and it seemed
unlikely that Cindy was on the pill.  And the possibility that my
adoration of this woman might get her pregnant was intolerable to
me.

   It seemed her thoughts were paralleling mine.  "Mike," she
murmured, "don't you want to fuck me?  Because I really WANT you
to...."

   "We don't have any birth control handy.  I can't take that
chance, Cindy -- not with you."

   "You could take it out before you came...."

   I snorted and stroked her eyebrow with one finger.  "That's
supposed to be the *guy's* line, to wear down the girl's
resistance.  You know it's not that easy.  Besides, I don't think
I could make myself do it."

   She sighed unhappily.  "Yeah, I know... but I can't help it --
I want to feel you IN me."  This low-voiced conversation was making
me crazy.  "You could--"  She hesitated.  "You could put it,... you
could put your cock, you know, in my ass...."

   I'd done that a couple of times with one of the wilder girls I'd
known in high school.  I think half my male classmates had.  She
might have been one of the semi-legendary nymphomaniacs guys are
always praying they'll meet.  She would do virtually anything with
anybody, anywhere, under almost any circumstances.  Ass-fucking, I
had learned, could be a real turn-on sometimes -- but the idea of
doing that with Cindy, especially our very first time, was
distasteful.  It would be too much like "using" her.  When I simply
looked back at her without blinking, she let it drop with palpable
relief.  She didn't particularly like the idea herself, but she was
willing to do it, as a last resort ... for me.  I squeezed her
tighter.

   Cindy rolled off me again, with a frustrated sigh.  And then
another small miracle intervened.  I kissed those full, warm, lips
yet again and eased my hand across her pubic patch.  My first two
fingers moved to the alcove of that warm, damp crevice.  Maybe if
I brought her off with my hand, it would be enough.  She bent her
knees to help me.  Even in the state of extreme arousal in which we
found ourselves, she seemed VERY wet.

   As my finger traced the length of her sheath and reached the
resilient bud at its tip, her whole body vibrated like a violin
string.  She sucked in between her teeth and pushed her pelvis
forward in encouragement.  Whenmy second finger slid in to join the
first, she began to return the favor by sucking on the fingers of
my other hand.  Seeing my pale freckled skin moving between the
rich brown of her lips was a turn-on all by itself.  And when I
tweaked her rigid clit, she bit down hard enough to leave an
indentation in my knuckle ... and then she kissed the bite, so I
didn't care.

   After a few minutes, during which Cindy moaned and hung onto my
neck, I brought up my hand with the intention of licking her
succulent juices from my fingers ... and found my hand half-covered
in bright red blood.

   We both stared at the redness and then at each other.  Cindy
self- consciously edged her lower body away from me.

   "My God," she said hoarsely, "I shouldn't be starting my period
for days yet.  Oh, Mike, I'm so sorry!"

   "No, no, Cindy, think a minute -- it's almost impossible to get
pregnant while you're having your period.  Don't you see?!"

   She was even more unsure of herself, now.  Completely unlike her
earlier persona.  "You,... you want to make love while,... while
I'm like *this*?" I thought she wasn't so much repelled by the idea
itself -- just very surprised that I wasn't.

   I took her by the shoulders and kissed her hard, and said as
emphatically as I could, "Cindy, I want to make love to you -- with
you -- anytime and anyplace we can.  I'd do it with you on a
garbage scow in Houston harbor if it meant we could fuck each other
unconscious!"  I shook her gently.  "I'd do it with you in Times
Square, or on the Dean's desk!  I don't care!"

   The realization of what I was saying came home to her.  It
showed in her lovely, deep, dark eyes, which grew deeper and
darker, it that were possible.

   "Oh!  Oh, Mike -- please fuck me!  Oh, I want you so much right
now!" The blood didn't matter anymore, not to her and never to me.

   She spread herself on her back and squirmed into a comfortable
position, with her knees bent and open wide.  I almost said
something about throwing a few old towels on the bed to protect the
sheets, but the sight of those tits jiggling as she settled herself
was more than I could take.  I'd buy her a new set of sheets.

   Cindy grabbed my cock -- the first time she had touched it with
her hand -- and squeezed as she maneuvered me into place on top of
her.  My organ was already rigid and straining; I would have to
take it slowly or I'd climax much too soon.  Her frantic hurry, her
anxiety, set my groin to throbbing, though.

   She was as limber as I had expected and when I pressed her knees
back against her chest she caught on instantly and hooked her small
ankles over my shoulders.  I rubbed the head of my cock along her
gaping labia and her whole lower body vibrated.  I looked down
between us at those beautiful, long legs and slender thighs lifted
in the air for me, at her upturned ass and the dark little pucker
behind the brilliant pink of her flowering cunt, and at the bright
bloody smears scattered nearby.

   The steaming aroma that rose from her was like hot wine with the
cloying estrus smell adding an oddly stimulating flavor.  And I
watched, fascinated, as my penis slipped home into the channel
intended for it.  I took care that my entering shaft gave full
friction to her pulsing clit; incredibly, it felt like a tiny
heartbeat throbbing away at the true center of her.

   With the trickle of bright blood, no additional lubrication was
necessary.  On the first stroke, I buried myself to the root,
though Cindy's tightness was making it very difficult to restrain
my climax.  I hadn't really fucked many girls when I was twenty and
all of them had been considerably shorter than me; it was easy to
bump the head of my cock against the end of a small girl's vagina
and cause unintended pain.  But Cindy's height was matched by the
deepness of the passage in which I was buried.  I was beginning
seriously to think that there were many ways in which the two of us
were meant to be together.

   I began to stroke slowly but Cindy began to whimper.  "Do me! 
Fuck me, fuck me!  Oh, do it harder, please -- it's been so long!" 
So I increased the pace and the force of my strokes until the
breath was being pushed out of her at each thrust.  Again, I eased
off a little but she shook her headwildly and whispered "More...!"

   By the clock, it could only have been a few minutes, we were
both wound so tight.  Subjectively, it was an endless time of
concentrated pleasure. I wanted desperately to please this
wonderful girl as much as myself.  So I held back as long as I
humanly could, until I felt the tiny ripplings begin in her thighs
and belly.  Looking down, I saw her inner lips sucking at my cock
on each stroke.  Her ass was cocked up even more than before; her
asshole was fully exposed, and it was twitching.

   That did it.  As Cindy reached her own climax, I jerked and shot
what seemed like quarts of semen into her.  It felt like there was
no end to it, that my balls must be emptying themselves completely.

   We eventually slowed and stopped, like a runaway locomotive
coasting massively to a halt.  We were both gasping for breath,
nearly drowned in love, as her legs slid from my shoulders to fold
loosely on the bed.  I managed to keep myself propped on my elbows
as my shrinking cock withdrew. The sweat trickling off my chest and
shoulders mixed with hers; she was agleam with drops of our
moisture.  Her eyes sought mine and our gaze locked, though we were
still too winded to speak.  She wrapped her arms tightly about my
neck and hugged me tightly, cheek to cheek, and panted in my ear.

   "You're ... the most ... marvelous...," I managed to whisper,
and she squeezed me harder.

   After a few minutes, she loosened her hold on me and I pulled my
head up so we were nose to nose again.  I licked the sweat from her
forehead and her eyelids and the bridge of her nose, and she
smiled, dreamy and contented.  She stroked my cheek with the palm
of her hand and I combed my fingers through her tangled hair.  The
"wonder" look was in her eyes again and the way she stared at me
made me feel strong and heroic ... and loved.

   I didn't know whether there would be, or even could be, a future
for Cindy and me in the cold light of day.  But I sure wanted to
give it a try. Back there in the kitchen, all those eons ago, she
had asked me to be her friend.  If I could have nothing more, if
that was the way things turned out, I would be at least a friend to
her in every way I could.  But deep down somewhere in a hidden
corner of my heart, I knew I was already falling too deeply in love
with this perfect woman ever to escape.

   

   Then there was a muted noise in the living room and we both held
our breaths.  I had no idea what it was but Cindy seemed to
recognize it.  The bedroom door was still standing open and the
light we had left on in the kitchen drifted in.

   "Cin...?  Cindy, are you here?  You awake...?"  Georgette's
soprano was hesitant and a bit fearful.  The kitchen light on and
apparently no one at home?  No wonder she was nervous.  She had
said she'd be back late; could I really have been here for six or
seven hours?

   "Cin?"  The voice was closer to the bedroom.  I looked down at
Cindy's face, wondering why she didn't respond.  But Cindy had both
hands clapped over her mouth and her eyes were dancing with
suppressed laughter.  I imagined how we would appear to Georgette
if she walked through the bedroom door: Her friend and an almost-
total stranger, sprawled naked on the bed and obviously in the
throes of passion.  I grinned at Cindy and she couldn't hold it
back any longer.

   "George,... <smothered giggle> ... I'm here,... <hee hee> ...
everything's okay...."

   "Everything's *fantastic*," I whispered, and licked her nose.

   "Hush."  I licked her nose again.  "I'm in the bed-- bedroom,
Geor-- George...."  She jerked as I tickled the back of her knee. 
"I have -- uh -- company -- ohhhh...."  I had scooted down and was
using my tongue on a hypersensitive nipple.

   "George, honey, I -- oh ... oh -- I wish you-- you'd stay in
there awhile -- please -- uhhhh -- please, George?"

   There was a moment's silence from the living room and then we
heard a delighted giggle from just beyond the doorway.  "No
problem, Cin, I guess it's my turn, isn't it?  You sure I can't
take just one peek...?"  Another giggle, followed by the door being
quietly pushed almost closed from behind.  Little Georgette wasn't
the type to sneak a peek on her friend.  Alamp winked on in the
living room for a minute or two, the springs of the old sofa
squeaked, and the lamp went off.

   Cindy got even for my distractions by tickling me under the arms
but we ended the brief, laughing struggle in another long, gasping
kiss.  Finally, I moved off her so she could stretch her strained
muscles.

   "Cindy, I wish to God I could spend the rest of the night with
you.  But we couldn't keep George out of her own room -- and
there's not enough of me left to go around for TWO women."

   She swatted at me and I grabbed her wrist and we shared another
sweet kiss.

   "Actually," she said, "I've spent a few hours on the sofa at one
time or another, like when Rick didn't want to leave -- or *George*
didn't want him to.  She's right: It's her turn."  She sighed.  "I
wish you could stay, too, but I'm a little afraid.  It would be
almost too much, too fast...."

   "I know," I said, and kissed her gently on each eyelid.  We
could go on saying goodnight until Monday morning and we both knew
it.  Time to quit. For now.

   Cindy sat up and I admired the dim shadow of her figure as she
investigated the size of the mess we had left on the bed, mixed
semen and not too much blood.

   "Fuck it," I said lazily.

   "I think that was the problem," she chuckled.  "Come on -- off."

   I climbed off the bed and helped her strip the sheets.  Then she
stepped into the small bathroom and cleaned herself up.  When she
came back, she carried two damp washcloths, and the string of a
tampon was visible between her legs.  She handed one wet cloth to
me -- my cock and pubic hair were thoroughly matted -- and used the
other to scrub the stain on the mattress as well as she could.

   She didn't seem quite as smooth and efficient as she had while
making the coffee.  She was also a little bowlegged and shaky.  I
finished cleaning myself up and went to help her.  She straightened
with a groan.

   "You okay, sweetheart?"  I called her that without thinking but
she smiled at me in a way I had come to adore.

   "I'm fine -- just out of practice."  She put her arms around me
again, but fondly and possessively this time.  I stroked her back
and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

   "Mike, I haven't done this -- had sex, I mean -- in, I guess,
three years.  I've never done it like THIS in my life, but...." 
She shook her head slowly.  "You're right.  Why should I care what
anyone thinks?  You're you and I'm me, and that's all."

   I held up a finger.  "I just have one question: Will you go out
on a date with me NOW?"

   She rolled her eyes and laughed.  "Yeah.  Maybe I will."

   

   Fifteen minutes later, I was dressed, Cindy was wearing the
pajama top she slept in, and we were walking slowly, arm in arm, to
the door.  She had my phone number at the dorm and my oath that I
would call her in the morning (well, *later* in the morning).

   I glanced at the sofa and realized that Georgette, curled up
under a comforter, was awake and smiling.  I detoured over that way
and hunkered down.  Her eyes widened a little when she realized who
it was that her roommate had spent so many passionate hours with. 
I took the hand that lay beside her head and gave it a small
squeeze.

   "George, I want to thank you."  She looked blank.  "It was your
pocketbook that made it possible for me to meet a really wonderful
girl." That pleased her and she looked up at Cindy, standing behind
me, and winked.

   I started to rise but she held onto my hand.  "Wait,... Mike? 
Yes: Mike."  Her smile became a bit embarrassed.  "I thought about
it and I finally figured out what it was I did earlier.  I'm so
sorry about that.  I didn't know who you were and I thought that if
you had to work at the library all the time, you probably,... well,
you might be short of money. And I had a little I could spare.  I
was just trying to help, because you helped me.  Really."

   "It's okay, George.  Cindy explained--"   "Cindy gets me out of
trouble so often -- I don't know what I'd do without her.  I mean,
I make good grades and I'm smart about a lot of things.  Like, I'm
going to marry Rick.  He doesn't know it yet, but I am. But I guess
I *am* dumb sometimes about people.  And I don't mean it, honest."

   She looked so earnest and hopeful, any earlier annoyance I might
have had vanished.  I lifted her hand and lightly kissed the back
of it.  I could see her blush even in the dim light.  Cindy reached
out and stroked my shoulder and I felt her approval and gratitude
through her fingertips.

   As I stood and shrugged on my raincoat, George kind of hugged
herself under the comforter.  "Cindy," she said, "I'm so glad you
have a fella." (Such an old-fashioned word but it didn't sound odd
coming from George.) She looked at me again.

   "Cindy's my very best friend, best ever, and she gets so lonely
sometimes -- I can tell...."

   I thought for a moment and bent over the sofa again.  "George,
would you think it was strange if Cindy and I went out together?"

   "Oh, I think it would be terrific!"

   "But it wouldn't look strange?"

   "Would what look strange?"

   I took a breath.  "Georgette: She's black and I'm white."

   George's eyebrows came down; she wasn't as dumb as she thought
she was. "What about it?"

   I grinned and folded my arms as I turned to Cindy.  "Sound
familiar, love?"  Cindy hugged me around the neck once more and
kissed me a promise.

   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright 1993 by Michael K. Smith.  Copies may be made and posted
elsewhere for personal enjoyment, but commercial rights reserved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~