Hello, Germany! Remember the V-2? Andrew Roller Presents NAUGHTY NAKED DREAMGIRLS Issue No. 123 alt.zines alt.sex.stories D R E A M G I R L S S T O R I E S Love Child Part Sixteen by Andrew Roller Chapter Three ÒYou have a hairy butt crack,Ó Mandy told Arthur. She walked up behind him and tugged at some hair in his ass. ÒYuck!Ó she said. ÒHow disgusting!Ó Then, obviously not disgusted in the least, she poked her finger into his hole. ÒOWWW!Ó Arthur growled. He stood erect, forgetting his toe-touches, and glared behind himself at Mandy. It was incredible, all of us naked, fiddling with each otherÕs intimate parts, watching as passion coursed through one or the other, climaxes surging, retreating. Mistress, usually a paragon of restraint, rubbed herself a little between her legs, so hot was the mood in our little kitchen, the sausages sizzling on the grill as we waited to fill our hungry bellies. I touched myself too, watching Arthur do his toe touches. ÒMandy, try not to stick your finger up ArthurÕs ass, however inviting it might appear,Ó mistress told her. She worked over the stove, her cheeks rosy, her breath quickening as she toyed with her clit. ÒItÕs totally disgusting,Ó Mandy exclaimed. She walked round in front of him and took hold of his cock instead. He shuddered anew, but seemed to find some new strength and did not cum. I watched as his balls tightened again, the sac drawing up until it seemed to be painfully taut. Glad that Arthur would not keep us away, I quickly joined Mandy at his front. Still diddling with my own private, I played my fingers over his as well. We exchanged glances. Mandy, seeing masturbation would not be discouraged, found her own sweet spot and hunnied it up a bit with her fingers. There was a chinning bar in the storeroom. It was, no doubt, for exercising, so a male staying long days down here would not lose his muscles. Arthur took hold of it and hoisted himself up and down on it, biceps bulging, while Mandy and I continued to entertain ourselves with his penis. All the while we kept fondling ourselves. Our breath became increasingly fast-paced, even as Arthur huffed and puffed on the bar. Mistress watched us playing out of the corner of her eye. Her own breath was more rapid, her fingers strumming over her little private bud while she cooked us breakfast. Happily, if breathily, she hummed a tune, plotting new perversions for us. All our inhibitions were gone. We were bare-ass naked, and very randy. Our tits wobbled, tender teats erect as Arthur. Our bottoms wiggled with pent-up desire. Our legs squeezed together and then flexed apart, like little girls waiting outside a restroom that was locked and in use. Yet peeing was hardly on our minds. We were already wet there, and wished to be wetter still. ÒCome, kids,Ó mistress said gaily. She laughed, took her hand away from her own nest. ÒI mean, come, as in itÕs time for breakfast!Ó Savoring my own arousal, I desisted in frigging myself, and batted MandyÕs hand away from her own cunt. ÒDonÕt!Ó Mandy reproved me. She returned her hand to herself, eager to have her orgasm. With gentlemanly care Arthur took her wrist and lifted her fingers from her cunny. They were wet with her dew. He kissed her hand and then cleaned her little digits with his tongue, one by one, as a father might kiss each of his babyÕs toes. Mandy watched, intrigued, and did not try to pleasure herself with her other hand. ÒTickle me,Ó she commanded at last. She was eager to continue the game. Arthur slapped her soft belly. ÒInto the living room, tummy girl!Ó he told her. ÒLetÕs see if we can get something into that belly of yours besides Lucky Charms!Ó ÒOh, okay,Ó Mandy relented. But, walking ahead of him, she was visibly agitated, her legs jittery and her bottom wriggling with her pent-up need. I followed, my own hips swaying like some mare in heat, inviting the stallion none-too-subtly to mount me. Arthur, himself fighting down a surging of his lively sperm, walked behind me stiff-legged, awkward in his gait. Mistress got us plates and napkins and arranged us for our meal. She served us steaming cups of hot cocoa along with our food. Then she took off her chefÕs hat and her apron and joined us. Arthur eyed her bush. He seemed glad that it was hidden no longer. TEXT CORRECTION: Insert this paragraph in place of the existing one (in NND122): ÒBut I cannot have flapjacks without a sausage to go with it,Ó Mandy insisted. I nudged her. Mandy and Beavis. She did not catch my meaning. ÒMommie always browns me a sausage with my flapjacks,Ó she continued. She was feeling protected and infantile this morning, I think, being the littlest amongst us, demanding her breakfast. ÒOtherwise they are too gooey and syrupy, plus meat is good for you.Ó Z I N E R E V I E W S by holy joe The Joe Boob Report, 5/1/95, free. 8 1/2Ó x 11Ó. Joe Boob Briggs, P.O. Box 2002, Dallas, TX 75221. Review: The Movie ChannelÕs Joe Boob Briggs weighs in with another one of his nifty movie-oriented newsletters. Specifically he is interested in drive-in movies. You can even get free movies in the mail from Joe Boob. Just write to him and tell him you want to join one of his movie reviewing committees. Our own Andrew Roller was a member of the Science Fiction movie reviewing committee. But he finally quit because it was interfering too much with his masturbating. (Why he didnÕt join the Porno reviewing committee is beyond me--Joe Boob has one of those too.) Page four of this issue features one of RollerÕs all-time favorite masturbation goddesses-Julie K. Smith. (I even got hard over this photo, and IÕm supposed to be a pedophile!) Julie Strain, on page 6, isnÕt bad either. P.P. Wilson got a strain in his pecker looking at her. For the ladies there is ÒRowdyÓ Roddy Piper showing off his handsome chest on page 7. (Of course Jim Corrigan noticed this one. When heÕs not busy mailing out literature heÕs hard at work campaigning as a gay political candidate in Atlanta.) This issue features movie reviews by the Horror Committee. Films featuring George C. Scott, Val Kilmer (of The Doors), and other such nonsense are reviewed. (Including Sorority Girls and The Creature From Hell.) I just got a VHS copy of Pretty Baby, featuring Brooke Shields, from the Sun Coast Video Store, so I wonÕt have time for anything else for awhile. (You know, about a 12-year-old prostitute. Since it was made in the late 70Õs, when I was a youngster, I consider this movie to be about TRADITIONAL VALUES! IÕm not into all this Reagan-era conservative shit. The Reagan-era (and Bush and Clinton) can be summed up in one word: NO! As in, ÒI said NO!Ó and ÒWhat part of NO donÕt you understand?Ó I wrote back to my supervisor (after I quit): ÒWhat part of FUCK YOU donÕt you understand?Ó Getting back to Joe Boob, we have more boobs on display on page 12, followed by a picture of Joe BoobÕs wife on page 14, modelling (what else?) a ÒJoe BoobÓ t-shirt. Finally there is a contest for jerk-off nerdyboys who wasted their entire life watching C-grade movies, and have now nothing better to do in life than answer quiz questions about C-grade movies. All in all, a good issue, and after all, ÒItÕs like a drug. The first one is always free,Ó as Joe Boob says. So get it right away. Rawlins, The Last Tough Cop #2, $1.50. Digest. Text-only, with illustrations. Perry Lake, Miracle Comics, 6167-B, Alamo Way, Paradise, CA 95969. Review: ÒYeah, it was a weird one. Some devil-worshipping old bat molests three little kids, and twenty years later, she drives Ôem to suicide,Ó reads the self-introspective dialogue by the main character (pg. 15). The name of this issueÕs story is ÒNursery Rhymes From Hell.Ó The letters section contains a review of a previous issue: ÒThe undead demon: We donÕt get to see it go around killing people we donÕt care about. [Then it] gets shot--once--[and] falls through a window and dies.Ó I thought this was an excellent interpretation of modern T.V. story-plotting. You see the bad guy, and then you see the awful things he does. But, often, he does those awful things to characters you donÕt care about. Have you ever watched a movie where you can tell, right from the beginning, which people are only there to die? I can. Often itÕs the ÒoddÓ person. The black guy, the mexican, the fat woman. Thankfully, Perry Lake is not averse to printing criticism about his work. And the digest-sized book is a nice package overall. Excellent cover, excellent (and humorous) back cover, with decent Òsmall pressÓ illustrations inside. Unfortunately, the inside illustrations are sometimes poorly reproduced. But a good buy, especially if youÕre fond of illustrated Sherlock Holmes books. (I am.) Board of Superheros 1, 50¢. Minicomic, 8 pgs. Matt Feazell, 3867 Bristow, Detroit MI 48212. I first was introduced to Matt Feazell back in the '80's, as I trudged down a windblown street. I saw a minicomic lying in the gutter. At first I thought it was just another one of Roller's pubs, as I am always seeing those in the gutter (where they belong!)...or jammed into toilets in public restrooms...or sometimes I'll come across one of Roller's pubs in the little girl's lavatory at the school where I work as a janitor. (Don't ask me how it got in there.) Anyway, it turns out this particular pub was one of those rare gems put out by Matt Feazell. Unlike one of Roller's pubs, this one had been carefully preserved in a hermetically sealed plastic bag, complete with acid-free backer board. Obviously, some unfortunate collector had lost part of his prized collection. I picked the zine up. I thought about advertising it in the lost and found section of our local paper, but lust and greed quickly possessed my mind! I tore the comic out of its plastic bag and quickly devoured its contents. Then I took it to the bank, where I was able to exchange it for a crisp $100.00 bill! I spent the night at the Holiday Inn, masturbating over the Playboy channel. Ah, life! Board of Superheros is yet another of Matt's beautifully rendered minicomics. He's always been the best mini-maker of the genre. In the mid-80's his books had a clean but punk rock "sketchpad" feel to them. Then, in the late 80's, as he picked up work selling stickmen to the mainstream press, his work became downright beautiful. The beauty remains. Board's story is a fairly clever "corporate politics" tale. Boardman goes on sabbatical and leaves Stickboy in charge, who quickly mires his superhero employees in mindless paperwork. With regard to the final panel, I would have written "No Smoking Breaks," instead of "No Smoking On Breaks." I don't understand why Mr. Stickboy would want to prohibit smoking ON breaks. However, prohibiting SMOKING breaks seems an excellent idea, since that is when his employees spoke unkindly of him. Terra Libra, 2430 E. Roosevelt #998, Phoenix, AZ 85008; e-mail terrahq@ix.netcom.com. Review: It always bothers me when someone spends good money to send me something and it arrives packaged like an ad asking for money. Here we have a Òsort ofÓ zine. It has good-looking articles inside, but the cover sheet begs for money. ($199.00). Now, in my opinion, you should at least put something in a manÕs hands that has value in-and-of itself. If you want to also include a letter, or stick an ad inside asking for money, thatÕs okay. But donÕt START by asking the money. DonÕt ask for money on the COVER of your zine! ItÕs like walking up to a girl and saying, ÒLetÕs fuck. By the way, did you know I have a Ph.d in interpersonal communications?Ó Now, this was a tactic that was popular in the 70Õs (when I was too young to enjoy it), but itÕs been unpopular ever since. (You know, the Òdance clubsÓ that had rooms right off the dance floor where you could have immediate sex with people you just met. Bathrooms in back, sex rooms all around the dance floor.) So the moral here is, ÒGive me something I want first, then do your ÒofferingÓ business in the back.Ó In this case IÕm not going to bother any further with this Òzine,Ó except to say that if youÕre a Libertarian-type or militia-type person (and who isnÕt these days?) it looks like there may be some decent reading in this zine. Green Ringlets, 50¢. Minicomic, eight pages. William Dockery, P.O. Box 3663, Phenix City, AL 36868. A chapbook, from whence the first poem provides the title. Each book apparently comes with a free coffee stain. (Mine did, anyway.) Care for some disjointed images, rendered with varying degrees of proficiency, complete with a bizarre, Egyptian pharaoh cover? This is the book for you. There's a poem about the South and several about females. I could write this thing up really good, but I'm full. I had to feed the hamburger Dockery bribed me with to a cat. It was lukewarm. If I'm to work for food, Dockery, it has to be hot. Anyway, the onion rings were good. For those I'll quoth several of his better lines: "Answers like seeds being dispersed into "the breeze... "...We stood in the marsh of reeds... "...The Science Ladies "wandering inside my soul (pg. 5)." There ya go. Thank God Wilson quit publishing. Sam and Marty #0, $1.50. Odd-sized, large comic. Paul Quinn, 80 Hamilton Street, Unit 4, Waterdown, Ontario, CANADA LOR 2H6. Review: ÒOh, Zack!! I want to feel your hot breath apon (sic) my bosom!!!Ó cries Samantha Saphire (pg. 8). Samantha is being courted by a vampire in this issue, one Marty Bishop, of whom we are told, ÒItÕs been eight hundred and twenty-seven years since heÕs said or heard the words, ÒI love you (pg. 1).Ó (When he last got laid is anybodyÕs guess.) The artwork is good for a small press comic. The ladies are well drawn and their bosoms vividly portrayed, both with and without bras. Paul seems to go in for the weight-lifter type in women. His men always seem dwarfed by their female lovers. This, I believe, follows in the tradition of R. Crumb, except he drew better women. ÔAppropriateÕ women, I should say, letting my bias show, not fucking transvestite weightlifter Ôwomen.Õ (Sorry, Senator Exon, but I am against transvestites! Well, not exactly, I just prefer pretty girls to women who can crumple me with their bare hands. ItÕs a survival thing.) The black areas in this zine are excellent, not washed out, as often happens in xeroxed zines. Blacks are used with dramatic effect in the portrayal of SamanthaÕs lacy black bra, and in a starry-night graveyard scene, dominated by a black-cloaked Darth Vader dude. This is a nicely drawn comic, an excellent buy if you want to get a good picture of what a Òsmall press comicÓ looks like. D R E A M G I R L S E D I T O R I A L By Deep Thought (Currently Ensconced in an Outhouse) HOW WOMAN CAME TO BE In the beginning there was no sexism or bigotry. In fact, there was no woman. There was only man. Now we've all heard of the self-created man, but in fact it is woman who is self-created. One day a group of men who all happened to have a particular appendage between their legs (which about half the other men on the planet lacked) were sitting around, and one of them said, "Y'know, there is such a thing as a man, and then there is such a thing as a woe man. I have noticed that any man who lacks an appendage between his legs often causes one a lot of woe. I think we should differentiate such a creature from ourselves by calling him not a man but a woe man." And so it was agreed that day by all those who had an appendage between their legs. From that day on, when a group of men with appendages between their legs saw a man approaching who had no appendage, one man would say to another, "Uh, oh, here comes a woe man." By the time writing was invented the two words had become one, not "woe man" but simply "woman." (The "e" was dropped because it was silent, hence unnecessary.) So it is that some once known as "man" became "woman," and the distinction has remained with us ever since, for good reason. The reader will by now discern, of course, that it is women themselves who brought about this difference, and for women to complain because they "are not the same as men" is just their own stupid fault. D R E A M G I R L S N E W S SINGING OVERHEARD IN GERMANY In Beer Halls and Government Ministries Achtung, ye defenders of de faderland, Together we march onto de Internet, 200 Newsgroups today, 200 more tomorrow, Together, we Germans dictate what de world will see and hear! D R E A M G I R L S L E T T E R S ADOLF HITLER ON MUNICH: ÒIn it I obtained the foundations for a philosophy in general and a political view in particular.Ó -- Adolf Hitler (quoted in Adolf Hitler, by John Toland, pg. 54.) Free Naughty Naked Dreamgirls e-mail subscriptions: send (18 or up) age statement to: roller666@aol.com Free back issues: send e-mail to nnd.inf@backdrop.com Free minicomics: send a stamped, self-addressed envelope & age statement to: Jim Corrigan, P.O. Box 3663, Phenix City, AL 36868 U.S.A. Naughty Naked Dreamgirls (Library of Congress ISSN: 1070-1427) is copyright 1996 and a trademark of Andrew Roller. Chat: alt.sex.stories.d END OF 123 EMISSION