ÒYou heard what Linda said,Ó he replied. ÒSanta bringing the switch, and using it. Jacking off your colonel is not behavior the old boy would approve of, IÕm sure.Ó ÒOh, my!Ó I sighed. I yanked at my panties. They popped down off my bottom as effortlessly as if IÕd pulled at cellophane. Only the bit caught in my cunt remained. ÒGracefully, like a lady,Ó the colonel ordered. ÒYouÕre eighteen, not 16 like Missy.Ó Slowly, trying to be as civilized as possible, chic even, I stripped my last remnant of modesty down my impeccably long legs. I had modelÕs legs, and men loved them, no less the colonel for being able to see my fat little ass atop them, in all its white nudity. ÒI was so careful to keep my bottom white when I lay in the sun,Ó I said, stepping remorsefully out of my panties as I sensed his belt swishing behind me. ÒIÕm glad,Ó he answered. ÒI love strapping a white bottom. It lets me see most clearly my handiwork, after IÕm finished. And show it off to my friends.Ó ÒBut you said,Ó I began. ÒYouÕll be whipped in private, it doesnÕt mean I wonÕt show you off a bit later,Ó he answered. ÒDonÕt worry, IÕll be discreet about it. Now hand me your panties. DonÕt just leave them on the floor like some child would. IÕm beginning to think youÕre not 18 yourself, though you say you are.Ó ÒDo you think I ran away to COLLEGE?Ó I asked him. I bent down, quite conscious of how close my bare hiney was to his aimlessly swinging belt. I picked up my undies and gave them to him. ÒOpen your mouth,Ó he said, ignoring my last question. I did, and like a horse being bitted he shoved my panties into my mouth and tied them tightly behind my head. I tasted my own excitement on the bit of fabric that had covered my cunt. ÒNow turn around, and get that ass of yours up on the desk. Climb right up, donÕt be ashamed of showing off your hind parts to me as you do it. IÕll be seeing all you have to show from now on, as long as your whipping lasts.Ó His voice was stern. I knew I could not disobey. Trembling, my knees almost knocking together, I mounted the desk. As I did so he tossed me a cushion from a chair. ÒHere, put your head down on this,Ó he said. ÒI donÕt mean to make you any more uncomfortable than I have to. The bed is the proper place for this. But I want to enjoy some more of the party before we go find one of those.Ó Gagged, fearful, and rueful that he wanted to still go back and party with the other girls, I put the pillow beneath me and placed my face down upon it. I was tentative in my movements, hoping somehow for a reprieve. I sensed none would be given. ÒOpen your legs,Ó he said. ÒI will decide where you are struck, not you. If I choose to hurt your cunt, thatÕs up to me. YouÕll just have to hope for the best.Ó Shivering visibly with fright, I parted my thighs a little. IÕd hoped to keep them squeezed tight during my punishment. I knew my cunny made a nice juicy target, with my ass high up and available like that. He sliced his belt through the air. ÒWider!Ó he said harshly. ÒGet your legs open as wide as you can, and donÕt bring them back together, no matter what happens. If I have to tie them open youÕll suffer far worse for it, I assure you.Ó Feeling like some mare being inspected, I opened my thighs as far as they would go. I found sheafs of paper as I spread them, and gratefully rested my knees atop them to ease the pressure on my knees. Unfortunately, this lifted my butt up even higher. ÒThere you go,Ó the colonel said. My titties hung beneath me, pressing their nipples into the bare wooden desktop. I hoped there werenÕt any splinters in it. The desk looked pretty old. It had just been through a war. I squeezed my eyes shut and waited. There were footsteps behind me. I heard a male voice, realized it wasnÕt the colonelÕs. My eyes popped open. ÒOh! Look, dear!Ó I heard Linda announce. ÒHow pretty she looks.Ó I blushed with fierce shame. Someone was at the doorway, peeking in! HadnÕt the colonel locked it? A second voice, laughing. Sally! ÒIt is her first time, I think,Ó I heard her say. ÒLook how white her seat is! What a delight it will be for you to burnish that up, colonel!Ó ÒGod, what an ass!Ó I heard an unknown male voice say. ÒShe is nothing if not an ass.Ó ÒShe is shy, getting it the first time,Ó the colonel replied. ÒShe wants to receive it in private.Ó Humiliated, I buried my face deeper in the pillow. I lifted my hands to cover my mortified ass. ÒGet your hands away this instant, girl!Ó the colonel snapped. A flick of the belt sent it biting into the back of one of my hands. ÒOWWWW!Ó I cried. Immediately I yanked my hand away, simultaneously rearing up on my hind legs. I knelt on the table, turned my head around, my back straight, my legs still as wide apart as ever. ÒIÕll hold her head down,Ó Sally said easily. ÒItÕs alright dear, I understand your reluctance the first time,Ó she sympathized. Before I could dissuade her she was all the way around in front of my desk, and bringing my face back down to my pillow with a firm hand on the back of my neck. ÒMmmm, you have a nice thin belt,Ó I heard Linda tell the colonel. ÒLeather, too, not regulation, but it will slice her up quite nicely.Ó ÒI want her to be able to remember it for a few days,Ó he replied. ÒGod knows, at age 40 it may take me that long just for my balls to re-fill.Ó ÒNonsense,Ó Linda answered. ÒThis is a private office. Let me unzip you and lick up the mess in your pants, and your thing. YouÕll be hard in no time, with me on the job, and with LisaÕs bouncy bottom to entertain you. John, get down behind me. You can enter me just when Lisa is at her most extreme, perhaps having a little orgasm of her own under the belt.Ó I heard the unknown male, John by name, enter and unzip himself. There was a rustle of clothes as he got down in his uniform behind Linda, her mouth now traitorously at my own colonelsÕ cock. [Alas, I was forced to delete the giant sex party and all the juicy punishments that went on. I was told that Bill Clinton actually took time off from porking women and young underage girls to sign some kind of a ÔtelecommunicationsÕ bill. So if you are left with blue balls, donÕt blame me! IÕm just doing my patriotic duty here, censoring my speech because I live in the Land of the Free!] GREAT AMERICANS OF THE MODERN AGE And their Untold Stories Popularized for the Common Man by holy joe In an attempt to raise the Òdecency levelÓ of this newspaper, we hereby embark upon an exploration of the lives of Great Americans, who through their faith in God, hard work, and deep conviction, have made our country what it is today. First up, an interview with Horatio Luger, who has obtained entry to the hallowed pages of the Guiness Book of World Records by picking more boogers out of his nose than any other man or woman in the history of humankind. (Note my politically correct verbiage, Pat Schroeder.) hj: It is a great honor and pleasure to meet you, Mr. Luger. HL: Well, thank you. You might mention to your readers that I have a very large nose, which, bestowed upon me by the grace of Our Lord God, helped me immensely in my quest to pick more boogers out of my nose than any other human on the face of the earth. hj: Duly noted. What, in fact, compelled you to strive to pick more boogers from your nose than anyone else, and to actually count them? HL: Well, I watch a lot of T.V. Specifically, Playboy Direct T.V., which I receive by satellite. It runs 24-hours-per day, so, to get my full moneyÕs worth, I must of course watch it 24-hours-a day. As you can see IÕve set up a portable latrine here in my living room, so that I wonÕt miss anything by running to the bathroom. hj: Ah, yes. I see you do have quite a few paper cups sitting around here in your living room. TheyÕre all filled with urine! HL: Yes, IÕve not had time to empty them. The T.V., you know. Last month a Brownie came by, selling cookies, and I had her take quite a load of them to the toilet, but of course IÕve peed some more since then. Would you mind emptying the cups for me? hj: I guess not, since youÕre giving me this interview... HL: It only took the Brownie half an hour to empty them all, and youÕre bigger and can carry more, so it should take you even less time than that! hj: A small sacrifice, I suppose, to get the life story of a great American... HL: Thank you! And bring me another box of kleenex, would you? I might get excited watching this next program! hj: Ah, yes, ÒStrippers Next Door Who Look Like High School Girls but are Actually College Freshmen!Ó HL: Undressing for fun and profit! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! hj: Would you like anything else while IÕm at it? HL: Yes! IÕm getting VERY excited now! I think IÕm going to shit in my pants, IÕm so excited! Bring me a bucket, would you? I had some more delivered yesterday. TheyÕre out front on the porch! hj: I wondered what all those buckets were for... HL: I wouldnÕt normally ask this, but since youÕre bringing in new buckets, would you mind getting rid of the old ones? I donÕt normally re-use them if I can help it, you know... hj: Oh, yes! I see youÕve got them all pooped in and lined up against the wall...I thought, you know, they were some sort of Ôart decoÕ bookshelf or something. HL: No time for books! Playboy runs 24-hours-a day, like I said. hj (after much American hard work): Well, if I could maybe get this interview in, before, you know, you have another bowel movement or something... HL: Certainly! Anything for a fellow Playboy subscriber! You do subscribe, donÕt you? hj: Of course, now about... HL: By the way, the last six monthÕs worth of issues of Playboy should be sitting down by my mailbox, on my front lawn, along with my other mail, would you mind getting them? hj: Have the pizza boy do it for you, would you? I do have to get your story and get back to my publisher. HL: Oh, alright! Shoot, then! HereÕs a kleenex. hj: Heh, heh, you have quite a sense of humor, I see. You must have needed it, digging out all those boogers in front of people all the time... HL: Not too many people come by my place anymore. I donÕt know why. YouÕd think, being famous and all... hj: How did you count all those boogers you picked? HL: It was very exacting. I wanted to make sure I won, so I placed each booger on a separate piece of paper and recorded the date and time it was picked. Also, I weighed it, so I could determine how far along I was to winning the world record. hj: I see your record is in fact for four million, 672 thousand, 891 boogers, weighing a total of 13 tons. Where did you keep them all? HL: Well, you see that I have a little pile here right now, along with my scale. The rest I had to store wherever I could find the space. In the living room, the family room, the dining room, out back in the yard. The ones in the yard I had to carefully cover and protect with plastic sheeting, so the rain wouldnÕt spoil them. My wife and kids helped me for awhile, but eventually my wife left me. She told me I loved my boogers more than her, which I guess is true. Now that sheÕs gone I donÕt have to worry about somebody changing the channel and making me miss Playboy T.V., so I suppose it all worked out for the best. Still, it would be nice to have somebody around to empty my buckets for me. hj: Do you have any other projects in mind? HL: Well, I was thinking about going for the record of Most Shit, but I donÕt have a really big asshole, even though some people call me one. Say, would you be interested in a joint project? I could list you as my assistant, and you could get credit in the Guiness Book as the man who properly weighed all my turds and dated them and saved them up for me. You could even present them to the Guiness Book for me, which might involve some carrying, but you might get your picture taken turning them in, which would allow you to bask in the glow of my fame and see yourself in the newspaper. hj: Uh, I would be greatly honored to serve such a fine American as yourself, but the duties of my journalistic career prevent me from helping you put another American name in the World Record Book. HL: Alas, another turn-down. Well, publicize my efforts for me on the Internet, would you? Senator Exon is retiring. And Pat Schroeder too. Maybe these retiring senators and what not would be willing to help me. After all, when an American wins, the whole country wins! hj: IÕll do my best. If nothing else, maybe another Brownie will come by, selling more cookies. HL: Send her my way if you see her! IÕll even let her sit and watch Playboy T.V. with me, on my lap. It costs $14.95 a month, a substantial sum for a little girl, IÕm sure. We could split the cost or something... hj: IÕll keep my eyes peeled. Good day, sir! HL: Good day! And remember: God Bless America, for it is He who makes big noses and boogers and such things! Free Naughty Naked Dreamgirls e-mail subscriptions: send (18 or up) age statement to: roller666@aol.com Free back issues: send e-mail to nnd.inf@backdrop.com Free minicomics: send a stamped, self-addressed envelope & age statement to: Jim Corrigan, P.O. Box 3663, Phenix City, AL 36868 U.S.A. Naughty Naked Dreamgirls (Library of Congress ISSN: 1070-1427) is copyright 1996 and a trademark of Andrew Roller. Chat: alt.sex.stories.d END OF draft 2 EMISSION