Chances are you came here for a reason, and your looking for this sorta
stuff. If for some reason you dont already know, the following story includes
description of sexual acts between guys. If that shit turns you off, use your
back button or close your browser. If not, your in the right place.

If you want to check out any of my other stuff, check for my name under the
"Prolific Authors" section of the Nifty Archive, or visit my homesite at
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~raekw0n/writing/. Any feedback, comments,
suggestion can be sent onto me at wildstyle@iname.com

Oh yeah. The guys in this story might not be using rubbers, but they aint
real. You are. Practice safe sex.

Keep it real.

Anfernee "Wildstyle" Williamson of da Undaground Click.

Do not distribute or reproduce this document, all or in part, without express
permission of the author. (c) 27th November, 1999, Anfernee Williamson

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DA OBJECT OF MY AFFECTION


His hand moved as fast as his eyes.

Each of them bestowing a caress just as real as the other. Running fluid,
over slow, easy curves. A study, exploration and appreciation all in one
flowing river.

He glanced up again, his hand wishing for what his eye could see. The flow
of his hand carrying the intention of his gaze. Mating and joining all in one
simple rhapsody of movement. As his imagination carried to create his
world. A world where all were as one. Where distance and thought of what
was were no issue.

Leon stroked again, a long, curving movement. As if the passage of his
eyes guided that of his hand. Transferred the physical to his own world,
where only his thoughts and dreams existed. Unmarred by the city around
him. A slow, effortless drop, forming powerful shoulders, to stoop
downward to equally strong arms. Broadening a chest with equal
eagerness, as a tight, soundless gasp escaped from Leons young lips.

His dream continued to form as it stood before him. Unnoticing. Uncaring.
Like so much of the world he saw. That ignored him in return for his
attentions.

Leons hand travelled again, this time carrying the gaze that ran down long
legs. Hidden deep within the sag of worn jeans. Just as important as any
part of his vision. Completing the picture before him as his strokes drew
back to revere the power and poise that stood afar. Adding. Building.
Forming on the depths of his mind and the erotic mist of his fantasies.

His breath quickened. His mind taken by his hand. Fueled by his gaze.
Poised on the last moments of the dream. The teenagers young, bright
eyes widening slightly. His hand shifting the full length of his ghetto beauty.
Painting on his mind as his gaze stared.

Wanted. Could only dream.

A tight gasp escaped Leons lips as a wet spot fell before him. It took a
second to fall before he realized. Even noticed beyond that which
consumed him so fully as to escape his surrounds. Before him, far beyond,
the object of his affection noticed, moving far quicker than the boy. Leon felt
his heart drop slightly as the rain of the falling night began to wash his
dreams, far quicker than either his hand or eye could move to stop.

The lanky youth stood up, closing his sketchpad before any more of natures
tears could dampen his dreams. Scooping up the arm of his pack, stepping
further under the stoop to escape the sudden shower that began to thunder
down on Bradfords inner city. As he turned, dropped back his pack, leaning
against the cold, hard wall there, his eyes failed to see that which had taken
him so far, in so few seconds. As if he had never existed.

Except for the rough, black and white world of his mind. Far more preferred
in the place of the real.

Here, Leon could form what he wanted. See what he wanted, take from that
which treated him so poorly, to create something more private. More akin
to his own dreams and wants. His hand creating the images of a world he
would far rather live. Fueled on dreams of a person he wished he was in its
place.

The young sunk slowly to the floor, feeling the hard harshness of the wall
behind him. So concrete and solid, where his mind failed to provide that
one last reality. The wall grabbed at his old blue sweatshirt, tugged it up his
lanky frame before he could pull it back down over him. Protecting him from
the brief coolness of the approaching night. The sweatshirt was heavy, full,
consuming his thin frame with the same eagerness as his oversized jeans.
Both old, both worn. They hung from his young body.

Leon pulled at his clothes, tried best to make himself more comfortable in
the cool shelter of the doorway. Somewhere within the inner city. He didnt
know where, his mind traveling his own dream world, searching and hunting
the world where his heavy feet carried him. Uncaring of location, only of
person and fantasy that eventually consumed beyond all. Guided his hand
in the fluid memory of dream.

He created with his mind. Left only with the brief prints that his mind
supplied in return. A rough scouring in black and white. The chance
snapshots of a better world beyond.

Leon ran his hand through his short, weed thin dreads. It looked more like
an old grandmothers mop, jet black, just as messed. He grasped at his
deep, thick hood to hide them below. To shadow his features to the world
around him. A soft yet full face, far more forgiving than that around him.
Young, and timid eyes that took in the unending harshness. Accepted
beyond all on those thin shoulders. The responsibility forced upon him
showed on his now shadowed features, deep within his hood. Reflected
within the deep, avoiding brown of his eyes.

The youth returned to his sketchpad. One of countless, this one almost filled
to the last page with the images of his world. He paged through, briefly
taking in each one, different, yet so obviously similar to those without the
trained and descending eye of his desire. Page after page. Flawless
reproductions of those who past so briefly in and out of his narrow world.
Every one, a figure of ghetto youth, character carried on poise, expression.
Perhaps on the suggestive hang of clothing. Each reproducing with
haunting accuracy the condition of human existence. Each ones eyes as
questioning, as baring as his own.

Leons gaze took in each gentle curve. Seeing far beyond the scratchy
black strokes of his pencil. His mind supplying the color. The context. The
realization of what each meant. Each one coming with the vivid memory
back of the first and last strokes of each sketch. Time, place, reason. Each
of them a friend that never was, an aquatinted. A lover.

The youth flipped to the final sketch. The image still burned deep within his
mind, where the cities cold rain has long since forced the object of his
attention far from his own world. Leons eyes traced a far more lazy, slower
pace. Where his hand and gaze had sped but moments before. Consuming
with hungry greed to place all that could be down onto the stark white of his
paper. Taking in every detail, every slight implied movement. Saved forever
in his mind. Saved forever on the image before him.

Leons gaze moved slowly. He felt his heart long. The pangs came quickly
and uncaring to his soul. He knew them. The wishes that he was
somewhere else. Somewhere more like this.

The sketch was quick, yet by no means brief. A ghetto youth easily in his
twenties. Leant back against the support of the bench behind him, giving
his form a full and easy length. A poise that hid nothing of his intent and
purpose. Of the easy manner that hid just beneath the loose form of his
clothes. He seemed no different in most than the rest, a strong form held
back against the ways of the ghetto streets that had bred him. A strange
sort of strength and pride carried within the size and stoop of his shoulders,
in his unassuming posture. A simple gesture caught perhaps off guard. A
single easy moment in an existence that sought to destroy him.

Leons eyes moved slowly, took in every assumption and feature. His baggy
tshirt, rendered only in black and white, yet burnt as stark a white as the
paper that held him onto Leons mind, hung from his strong frame. Falling
unassuming over a big chest, hinted at only on size, at the shadow of the
light material. The slight creases and folds giving suggestion to the strength
of that which it hid from the world. From the eyes of that which sought to
hold it forever in mind. Leaving only hint, baring large arms, far from bulked
and muscled, yet still born of gentle curve and size. Falling down over his
waist, hiding nothing of that below.

His jeans hung from his hips, barely held in place. A task no further aided
by the slick silk of his boxers. Testimony to the world, a dark blackness that
pulled tight over the curves of his ass. Drew a tight breath in the way they
hugged firmly, fully the size and ample nature of his body there. His jeans,
oversized, baggy, hanging easier, lower than most. Each gentle slope
hidden within the haphazard sag of his pants. The long excess caught
beneath the foot of his sneakers, somewhat ragged, frayed. Leons eyes
feasted on the loose sag, the way his boxers lay exposed so fully. His mind
remembering how he had attempted to pull the sag of his pants up more
than once.

The youths eyes swung upwards, back across the firm fullness of the blacks
body. He let his eyes fall on that face, that stared back at him. The teenager
let himself dream the most there. As if nothing mattered beyond that face,
its easy expression. It spoke to him beyond all, as he felt something of
himself stir deep within the presence of his jeans. A face, unsured on racial
ethnicity, a darkness that suggested african american, yet a far softer grace
and pose that he had seen in so many of the pacific islanders that lived in
Bradford. Thick lips and full features, well fed and comfortable, seemingly
not wanting for anything despite the pull of the streets.

The light shade of his sunglasses hid nothing of his eyes, that which Leon
sought so totally. Their thick, streamlined form hugged the blacks face,
contrasted in their darker color, the bright yellow of their lenses. Framing a
face further held by the drool and fall of his locks. Something that looked
attractive, yet suggested something beyond the nature and true ability of his
hair. Four or five thick locks of curls, bouncing either side of his face, the full
expanse of his black hair pulled back tight into a short tuft behind. There
seemed to be a softness, an almost innocence that bled Leon, lent on by
those locks, those summoning eyes.

For one moment of eternity on those lips.

Leons fingers traced the soft black pencil of the thugs lips. He found his
other hand, already below the pad that sat now perched on his knees,
gripping the full looseness of his groin. Thoughts entertained on mind,
fueled by the images before him, still crisp on his memory, like the still cold
bite of the air around him. Drawing tight gasps as his hand willed further
gratification. Promised the brief passage, the consuming and ignorant bliss
of the world he so longed for. The passion and pleasure that it held with it.

The youth let himself go, despite the thoughts. His erotic wants thinking out
the location of the nearest bathroom, to quench the fire that burned within
his dick, his so consumed soul beyond. The thoughts made him shake,
quickened the breath on his lungs as his chest and shoulders beat with the
rising want of his passion. He paused them. Flipped closed his world, and
his pad. Leons head fell back against the cold concrete of the wall behind.

It left him still with the lingering wonderings of what might have been. What
could be. What for one chance?

The youth let his head fall to one side, eventually. A motion that was more
on purpose, as he stared out into the falling darkness of the city around him.
The rain had faltered, but the night still so quickly approached. He knew this
time, he had felt it so many days before. Weeknights, live with life on the
streets, even here. Beyond the initial flow of humanity, escaping the
towering blocks above him. The thought came to him, knowing what it
would be like to try and return home now. Even to return to a place where he
could spend the night. He rubbed at his eyes, not encouraged by the
thought of the blocked subways. Jammed with commuters, escaping from
the city, only to return to the city in a new location.

The alternatives were just as bleak. Leon pushed himself up, not wanting to
remain the rest of the evening here in his tiny back street. Knowing too well
the arm of the law. What his huddled and uncivilized form would look like to
those who searched it, hunched within the doorway of the building. He
tucked his pad back inside his pack, shouldering his worldly possessions.
Making out into the spattering of natures cold hands in a brief few steps.

Forced into the real world before him, Leon glanced left. Right. Aligned
himself with where he was, plotted shortest courses to the subway system.
Death to those who wandered to far, knew not of its territories, its locations.
So much like everything else of the city, the subway lifeblood and transport
to those who needed it. Taking though, too quickly from heaven to hell,
those who didnt understand its complexities. The lanky black knew that the
initial pack of passengers would be great at this time. Ridden long enough,
they would thin, if he so choose to stay within the subways warmth.

Many nights before he had, comforted only by the few glimpses. The
dreams he put in the other passengers that occasionally caught his eyes.

The cool rain pulled Leon further from his world. The realization struck home
quickly, as his thoughts faded as quickly as the rain had previously. More
immediate needs demanded his attention in the harsh city life he lived in.
Food. Warmth. Sleep. All things that remained outside the bounds of his
thoughts and fantasies. In his world he built himself, sketched by an expert
hand. These things didnt matter, but always pulled him back. Reminding the
lanky youth that his existence, cold though it was, remained only in one
place. That which he sought to escape so often.

Leon glanced right with the brief image of his escape. Entertained what
could be once he found safe passage for the night. His mind swum. His
world and existence leaping in a beat to his throat as he forced his gaze
down. Turned it aside from the brash calls and noises of the group that
joined him, intersected on the street.

His world.

His dream.

That which he wished on so fully. Even if for the few brief days that the
longing burned in this form. This was what would satisfy him for now.

Leons black and white, filling to color. That which only the harsh world he
hated could supply.

The stocky black slow walked ahead of him, the rest of his group turning off
the side street to surround the youth. Unintentionally, uncaring. Guard
lowered in acceptance of what was seen. A young ghetto youth like
themselves, the sagging of his clothes. Marked by mind and training as little
threat in the inner city. Acceptance, rather than the hard persecution, the
gazes of hate and accusation that would be if he had been anything less.

If only that. Acceptance.

Leons eyes travelled upwards, his stride quickly rising to meet the pace of
the group. His mind and heart thrilled as his dick thumped. A brief lift of
hope and warmth, something that thrilled his entire body with electricity and
want. His eyes drunk in unashamedly. The absurdly low hang of the youths
jeans, the way they sagged on his ass, bared the slick blackness of his
boxers. The invitation that it asserted in the total absence of cover. Leon
watched as his slow gate broke slightly, as the youth grabbed a fist of his
jeans. Tugged them back, at least for the next few moments, to cover his
ass more better. Allow more easy passage, even as they slipped back
down to their low hang almost immediately.

The lanky black felt the presence before him. Around him. A call came,
beside him, as he saw two more youths. Another black, shorter, lean,
dressed in equally loose clothes. His eyes covered by darker shades. A
latino youth at his side, a statement that would have been an obscenity in
some places of the city. Bigger, more full in body. His black clothes
hanging, yet less suggestively. Black sports pants not hanging where jeans
did on the group. Instead the leg of his right side rolled up to expose the
tantalizing succulence of his strong, smooth calf.

Leons heart leapt, thumping every strong pulse deep in his throat. Two
worlds suddenly thrust upon each other, harsh reality and dream.
Coinciding in abject contrast and dizzying beauty. Color and dream. Black
and white painted with the exotic arrays of life in real. The experience
rocked Leon, caused him to stare down at the wet pavements. More used
to looking from afar, recording with his quick hand and skill. All words lost in
the presence of his true dreams.

The lanky youth paced his steps, keeping even with the home boys around
him. He felt a part of them. Accepted, if only in context. Yet feeling like a
disguised sheep within a pack of wolves. Roaming where they may,
unnoticing of him still, like so much of life.

Leon did what he did best. Observed. Watched. HIs mind lost beyond the
thoughts that carried his every step. Kept him paced and metered with the
youths around him.

If only. His true dream and life in one.

Leons eyes took in the strong youths back. He knew every inch of the young
black, painted as intimately as if he had been a childhood friend. His mind
would supply everything he needed to complete the picture. A personality
carried on stoop of shoulders, on the way he slow walked with his slight
limp. The way he joked on afar with his friends, all while Leons hand
recorded all. His mind lost in the painting of those images, now held so truly
in color before him. His eyes running every part of the youth, knowing.
Wishing.

What would one chance with him be like? What would one chance beyond
his black and white world be like?

The object of his affection.

Before Leons eyes. Unknowing.

The youth was lost to where he was being taken, by the flow of river that
was the youths. He didnt care. He had no place to be, no place to belong.
Leon could have wandered the streets all night within the fold of those home
boys. Dreaming it was so much more than his fantasy world. The black
before him that had stepped from the real world to his own in seconds. Only
to return to more vivid reality before him. Leons breath, slow, heavy. His
heartbeat falling with the beat of his feet against the pavement below him.

Leon watched the youth before him. Saw him glance back, at the rest of his
boys. Those eyes caught his, before Leon lowered his head quickly.
Presuming not to look, trying to appear where his mind would not let him be
right now. A conflict of thoughts as he tried to look unnoticed, while his mind
cried out for the attention of the youths strong hands. His eyes. The slow,
eventual caress of his hands. Sweeping across the youths thin body.
Warming beyond the cold of the night. His lips betraying the nature of his
gender, to fulfill Leons deepest desires. Burnt across the passage of his
body and soul.

His breath came heavy as he glanced back up. The youth turning into the
stairway downward. Into the subways.

Leon turned, guided by his dick as much as his mind. His mind useless to
supply the courage or means to utter what he wanted. A voice deep within
him crying for the twist of fate that would put him where he wanted to be.
For that one chance, to experience his heaven. This one youth, and no
more. A chance to have what he truly dreamed, if never again. To see in
color where he only saw in the scratched etchings of black and white.

Each step down surrounded the youth in the falling darkness of the
underground. The sounds of the streets exchanged for the sounds of the
subway. The thundering. The crush and pound of the commuters. His
makeshift posse pushed close around, keeping him still close within their
folds. Around them, the subconscious avoidance of humanity around them.
Parting the seas of inner city suits perhaps by fear of what could be.
Reinforced by race and appearance. Things too common to be noticed
anymore, by Leon or any of the other youths.

Leon paced quietly after the youth, still drawn, still seeing. Watching as he
headed towards the waiting train. Unnoticing of everything else beyond.
How busy it was that night. The cold dankness of the subway around him,
that he spent so often within. The smell and stench of humanity around him.
Packed so heavily. Unnoticing of all as the youth lead him towards the train,
its door open. its light inviting inwards. Accepting as Leon followed.
Uncaring. Having no choice. Where ever this youth went. Where ever he
travelled. Even if Leon had no chance at all of his dreams, he knew he had
no choice but to follow.

Trapped by his heart. Imprisoned by his dreams and wants. His desires.
The strong, painfully obvious throbbing within his jeans. Controlled by an
intoxicating blend of need and want. A selfish mix, created by the pains and
inadequacies of the world that had raised him. Taught him to long what he
did for fulfillment.

Just one dream.

Leon stepped onto the train, now at least noticing the press of man.
Glanced left. Right. Searched for a seat, more now on force of habit.
Humanity pushed urgently behind him, the lanky youth turning right, noticing
with a pounding heart what lay before him. The object of his affection,
taking his place standing at the end of the train, just up from the door. As
Leon lowered his head, yet forced himself to glance upwards. Casual. Now
very much in the eyes of his dreams. Seeing the slow pace of judgement
that laid across him. Evaluated him with every passing moment.

The youth returned his glance. A long, steady stare, yet so sure and strong.
He nodded briefly, muttering a greeting below his breath, as Leon walked
forward. Put himself beside the big youth as the remainder of the
commuters piled onto the train. Three more of the youths friends pushed
behind him suddenly, a big black in an oversized sweatshirt and padded
vest. The other two that he had seen by his side.

Leon felt his cheeks burn as he was forced forward. Perhaps under normal
circumstances he would have taken a strategic seat. Chanced glances the
whole trip. Admired from afar like he always did. Recording every curve
and stroke in his mind, to be committed to pad when he had the chance. It
would never have been like this. So close. Yet he was forced forward in
direct confrontation. Finding himself in the short alcove that led to the door
between carriages. Locked off. Leaving him faced with his dream. The
boys posse directly behind.

The lanky youth glanced down, backwards. Searching a way back to try and
retreat to somewhere more comfortable. For his nerves and mind at least, if
not his body. Leon felt his breath. Heard it escape his mouth in raspy
strokes. Just steps away. His eyes taking in the stocky blacks shoes. The
tattered, trampled ends of his jeans. Dare he glance upwards again? What
would he see? Confronting dream and reality face to face. Why this close?

Leon felt his body burning beneath the warm embrace of his clothes.
Nervously unshouldering his pack to place it at his feet. The youth glanced
upwards, catching the blacks eyes. A brief smile and nod again. His heart
pounded in his chest. He thought to say something. Anything, perhaps a
greeting. His mind forcing silence where he wanted to speak. His words
failed him. So many times he had danced this dance within the depths of
darkness. Rehearsed this moment upon a fantasy one night, his hand firmly
around his manhood. Prayed just one chance to play the dream for real.

But not like this. Not this close.

Leon felt the lurch of the train, something that pushed him directly against
the youth. Caused his dick to spark with the supple contact of bodies. He
muttered his apologies, his hormones celebrating and thrilling over the
briefest of contacts. The feel of the blacks body, his leaned momentarily
against his. The ride and softness of the muscle below his baggy white
tshirt. Transposed in the starkest realities directly to his fantasies. Fueling
the deepest desires he felt for him. The only one. His one desire.

The youth gathered his mind. Glanced up again. Caught his words as he
noticed the ride in his baggy jeans. His eyes dancing slightly to glance at
the blacks. Despite the ludicrous hang of his jeans, the expanse of his silky
black boxers, he saw no hint. Cursing the presence of his tshirt. The way it
hung heavily past his groin, the loose white material hiding far beyond the
sweetest moments of his perfect body. Leon felt the slow throb of is own,
fantasizing, even this close at the truth that lay beneath the stocky blacks
own clothing.

Why now? Why here? Why did he never have the chance?

Leons reality swum. Slowed like treacle as he stood. Staring silently at the
wall opposite him. So aware of his own feelings. The powerful presence
beside him. He felt basked in the youths power and strength. His presence
and respect. What he felt so strongly for him, what he represented. What he
wished he was himself. His throat felt dry, almost sore. Leons dick refused
to give in the slightest, drawing an uncomfortable sweat beneath his
clothes. The closeness drew the heat from him, settled it across the slopes
of his body like the rain that had fallen minutes before.

The youth spent the eternity of moments alone with his silence. Questioning
what had become so quickly. Gifted so cruelly by life a way, but not a
chance. The uncomfortable closeness felt strange to him, drew more than
his nervous sweat and inability to act. His mind all but cursed what had
become as he felt the train lurch to a stop.

He turned.

Scared.

Wanting escape to his own world. The safer one in his mind. Ignoring the
cowardness that saw him turn in the face of his dream.

Leon paused to grab his pack, suddenly hearing a curse. Humanity bared
up against him as a renewed wave of the ocean broke against the shores
of the train. He felt the push of the large black, who had been standing the
other side of him. Caught the look in his eye. The sudden, stark push of his
big body. A voice came from deeper into the train.

"For fucks sake! MOVE BACK!"

Leons breath escaped him, a gasp, as his dick throbbed. The eventual
shove that sent him hard up against the stocky youth. His heart all but
stopped as he stared directly into the blacks eyes. Colored yellow by the
tint of his shades. Fear rose as he felt his hard erection push directly
against the youths thigh.

The youth felt the lurch of the train once more. The bigger black behind him,
pushed hard against his back. Leaving him trapped between two hard
bodies. Trapped and unable to escape. Move. Avert his eyes from where
cruel twist of fate had placed them. Leon felt nothing more obvious than the
weight and strength of the bodies against his. The hard, thick throbbing that
now beat against the stocky blacks leg.

Questions fell from those yellowed brown eyes.

A slight expression conveyed a million unspoken words.

Leon felt the shame. Expected the flood of emotion that would inevitably
follow. That he had felt before. He lowered his gaze, barely managing to
move it beyond the level of that broad chest. Any closer against the thug
and his lips would have been where he could only wish.

The lanky youth felt his heart throbbing, wishing that his erection would fall.
Maybe he didnt feel it. Maybe he was just so self absorbed with the fact he
had it, knowing he had it for the one person he was pushed so hard
against, that it felt as obvious as it did. Leon begged for the chance he
didnt truly feel it. Begged that the glance he had received seconds ago
didnt question the fullness of his hard on that lay buried along the hard thigh
of the big black.

Leon swallowed hard, feeling the larger black behind him shift. There was a
slight give, the motion providing more room. Room that was quickly taken
up by the blacks big body. Leon felt an unmistakable presence, despite its
state, press against his ass. His glance rose slightly, on surprise. Fear.
Falling instantly back within the eyes of his dream.

There lay something strange there. In the yellow tint. A sunshine that bathed
the soft pools of brown below. Leon let his gaze stay, felt it more than
welcomed in the depths of those eyes. An almost relaxed state, a
realization where there had been only surprise before. Leon felt every since
breath travel from his lungs, his chest all but pushed against the broad
chest of the youth. Still feeling the fear and nervous grip the situation had on
his mind, body and soul.

Leon let his eyes stay. Seeing the questions and expectations fall
somewhat. Unsure of what those pools of humanity held. If they meant to
hurt in the sense of trust they seemed to portray. Perhaps luring with the
promise he felt, begged for. The chance that seemed to offer in the very
heart of that look.

Leon watched with faltering glance as the youth licked his thick lips slowly.

An innocent, silence chuckle seemed to pass them. A nervous breaking of
ice. Both knowing too well the proof of affection that lay against the big
youths thigh. Knowing true well what it meant. What silent message it past,
beyond the question of glance and gaze. Leon saw the questions rise as
his eyes met the youths again. Unspoken in word, yet heard so loudly in the
press of the youths body. In the undying depths of his eyes.

Leon shyly lowered his eyes again, basking somewhat in the solid press of
the youths body. The closeness, though initially unnerving, unfelt before,
bought with it a strange comfort. The push of his lanky form against the
blacks. A mating in flesh and presence that spoke so loudly to Leon of the
differences. His legs felt the strength and power that he stood pushed
against, the rise and fall of his own chest mating with the breadth of the
blacks in return. The feel of his muscle there, unyielding, but accepting of
the presence of the lanky teenagers. Leon felt a warmth unfelt. Basked in its
presence. In that of his.

The object of his affection.

Was this truly his? The youth felt the question glance briefly through his
mind, impossibly. Where his body had all but taken over. His eyes revelling
in what he wanted to be. Felt it pressed so longingly against his own. He felt
mated, joined. He felt as much of the blacks as he was of himself.
Surrendering his own, weaker, smaller body for that he had only dreamed.
Feeling the press now of something more.

Leons eyes rose again to meet the youths. This time he saw mirrors of his
own. The lust there as he felt the lump against his leg. Felt an ever so slight
rise and fall. The youths breath rose as he realized the implications, the
reality. His own dick still pounded hard, the implied stroke drawing the
slightest dampness of pre cum in his boxers. He felt the press against his
leg. Against his ass.

There was no denying what he felt. As unanswerable as his own. Yet
somehow impossibly shared beyond. Leon saw the look in the blacks eyes,
it scared him in its boldness. Its brash, unquestionable purpose. Leon felt
the gentle rise and fall that rose within his body. Of the bodies pressed
against his. The invitation lay within those eyes as they flickered briefly
across his young face, still hooded by the shadows of his sweatshirt. Lost
to lust and purpose, Leon had long since answered. Long since
surrendered to the power and respect that lay before him, pushed up
against the wall of the train. That lay his own pushed against his dreams.

Leon felt the stroke rise a little. Felt the unavoidable lump that rose against
his leg. Against his ass. An erotic dance of bodies that ensued,
unquestioned by context. Ignored of presence. Leon felt himself pressed
between the two thugs, letting them do what they wanted. Feeling his own
desires leak in a steady stream from his stiff dick. Smearing, coloring the
blacks and whites of his mind in the vivid, undeniable color that he felt within
him as he rubbed slowly between the two bodies.

The lanky youth let himself be moved slightly. Felt the intention behind him
as he found himself between the stocky youths legs, his own pressed
against his. Both blazing with the same undying intent. Leon felt dizzy with
the heat, by the closeness of their bodies. Smelling his own sweat, the rise
of the sex between them. Noticing for the first time, to his right, the latino in
black, pressed against the wall. Leons eyes traced a drunken path down
the latinos arm, movement betraying intent and purpose. His heart
throbbing at the proof of his vision as he saw the bulge of the youths fist
within his baggy black sports pants. His black tshirt pulled askew by his
actions, baring the slightest hint of his back growing hair, the size of his
arousal.

Leons eyes caught the unavoidable lust that lay within the latinos eyes.

They mated too perfectly with those before him.

Leon felt the push behind him rise the long shaft of a lump against his ass.
Inhibited by two layers of thick jeans and sweats, yet presence no lessened,
the size and power that drove it against him there. The stroke that pressed
his lanky form closer to the youths before him. Mated his own purpose
against his, joined them groin against groin in an erotic blend of bodies.
Leon felt the conflict of the youths own stroke carrying against him. Smelt
the unmistable musk of male scent rising between them all. Blending into
an intoxicating mix of hormones and desires. He smelt the rise of sweat of
their bodies, strong like the musk of a locker room, its cause undeniable to
the mind.

The lanky youth watched as the black took his biceps strongly with his
hands, revelled in the feelings that accompanied. The youths mouth dipped
forward towards Leons, as he backed off, slightly off guard by the motion.
Caught instead by a second attempt, pressing the blacks thick lips to his
own in a rough press of male and male. Far deeper and sexually than that
which had already occurred.

Leon died on one touch. Felt himself drift to heaven.

The thick lips pushed against his, a softness he had never dreamed of.
Never felt in any of his dreams. A color he had never seen. The intoxicating
brilliance shocked him, causing his maleness to pound again and again,
making his whole body weak. He fell within his instant lovers big arms, felt
the support that held him before and behind. No more true than the softness
and firmness that took his lips. Turned ever so slightly to press closer,
deeper. The wetness of the blacks tongue claiming between his own lips.
Opening a whole world as Leon surrendered his every fantasy to him.

The lanky youth lay unresistant of the advance, taken so fully by the kiss that
he lost what to do. Lost everything beyond the power of the reality. His
dream. His thug. His home boy. His everything, taking so fully of his lips,
pressing male against male in that which he had only speculated on
sensation. The thick wetness of his tongue which claimed so completely all
he had to give. Drew his breaths now for him as he breathed life anew into
his lanky body.

Leon opened his mouth further, responded as best he could. Unbelieving of
the conflict of strength and yielding. The power he felt consuming him so
fully, yet giving so softly on his mouth. The stocky youths tongue painting in
a tapestry of colors unseen, redefining his view of black and white forever.
Again and again as his mouth took deeper and deeper, opening Leon to
his advances. Strong, yet subtle. Leon felt the press all along his body. Felt
the blacks nose press against his face, the unyielding hardness of his
shades. The softer push of his drooling locks as they fell against his
cheeks.

The lanky youth let his arms fall up around the blacks body as the kiss
deepened.

Leon felt a new freedom as he responded more fully, encouraged by every
inch of the blacks body against his. A full acceptance beyond, in the
throbbing of the stocky youths own cock, of the strong surround of his arms
and muscles. His lips possessing him deeper with every passing second.
Leon let his lips speak back, suddenly, as if he had always known the
language the black spoke in return. Tasting every part of the blacks, feeling
every wet part of his tongue and mouth. The sensations tingling a true
warmth through his lanky form.

Behind him the bigger black had renewed the stroke against him. Proofing
every inch of his now throbbing maleness along the size of his ass. Causing
Leon to moan against the stocky blacks mouth in a blend of need and
desire. Push back against those advances, only to encourage a power
renewed. A size and power that only complimented more completely the
power that pushed against his back. Forced each grinding stroke against
the giving materials of their jeans. Making Leon press harder, praying for
new dreams, new chances, beyond the dizzying fears.

Leon felt the black shift before him slightly, his dick leaping as his hand
pressed against it, proofed its size before working within. The lanky youth
felt himself drooling, his dick weeping the fullness of his erotic needs, as his
lips fell harder against the blacks. Felt his hand struggle with his own fly. A
struggle he felt in every twist, every movement of the blacks stocky muscles,
before he rose, pulled a fistful of his sagging jeans to dip his hand within.
Obviously claiming himself by every inch, Leon feeling the impassioned
moan against his mouth, the satisfaction and release it spent across the
youths stocky form.

Leon felt the battle the black fought within his own sagging jeans. His fist
locked around his stiff dick, manipulating and moving in motions that
pushed and rubbed against the youths own pulsing groin. A rough,
unsteady series of push and take that aroused them both, yet fell so far
from the mark. Leon kept his lips locked with the blacks as he continued to
pleasure himself, the youth finding his hands falling, running down the soft
stockiness of his lovers body. Feeling the slick silk of his boxers. The lack
of protest as he slipped his hands boldly into his baggy jeans.

Both knew where they wanted his hands.

Leon felt the kiss between them break for the first time. A string of saliva
trained between their lips, hanging slightly on the blacks thicker, fuller
mouth. The lanky youth drowned in the visual attentions of those soft eyes,
inviting, suggesting, reassuring in one total glance. Leons eyes dancing so
completely across his features, taking in the fullness of his face. His strong,
pacific reminiscent features. Broad nose. Bathing a million erotic pleasures
in the presence of his eyes. Of the gaze so filled with the lust he felt.

The lanky youth saw the blacks eyes fall somewhat, a suggestion not
misunderstood. A task that Leon was far too willing to fulfill, a small cry from
the sacrifices he would make for his dream. Leons eyes darted downward
slightly, taking in the expanse of his broad chest. Relishing the tantalizing
fall and hang of his baggy tshirt, feeling how his hands invaded so easily the
depths of his clothes. So close to his bare flesh, stroking still within the
loose sag of his jeans. Even then, all but threatening to fall from those hips.
Expose in fullness what Leon dreamed. Felt in desire that throbbed within
his now aching organ. He saw the blacks arm hidden beneath his tshirt, a
bold fist bulging in the front of his oversized jeans.

Leon paused the few brief moments, still in the dizzy intoxication of their
sex. Feeling the hard rub against his ass, still riding against his clothes, in a
deeply sexual release. He felt his wrist grabbed with strength, felt his hand
pulled forward, around the size of the blacks hip. Hearing the all but rasping
breath at his ear, the black behind him a mirror to his intentions and wants.
Serving as a powerful courage in his own lack of. Leon felt the larger blacks
chest push harder against his back, his hand finally slipping over his
dreams last unseen fantasy.

"Grab his dick, bro."

Leons eyes were wide, his mind already blank with the realization of what
he felt. Nothing more truly fearsome than the thought, the reality a blinding
new high. Beating within his grasp, the blacks own surrendering to the
clasp of his own hand. Leon felt the burning heat, consuming the silken
slickness of the blacks boxers. A dampness made the softness there more
slicked, his hand fitting more easily, guided as much by it as by his mind
and want to possess. To experience and feel that which he wished was his
own in return. Hearing his breath rasp in the twin that fell roaring against his
ear.

The lanky youth saw his dreams hand leave his pants, push against his hip
again as he struggled again with his jeans. This time he felt the release, all
but heard the sound of his sagging pants puddle around his ankles. His
hand came more free now, rubbing against his own throbbing dick as he
surrounded the blacks. The hand that had forced his passage took a new
hold, this time over his hand, pushing his grasp ever onward. Deeper
inside. Taking his senses within the youths boxers, wrapping his fingers
fully around his bared and erect flesh.

"Oh yeah .... do dat shit, mahfucka .... feel that?"

Leons senses were overwhelmed. The size there felt impossible. All he felt
was size, pushed against his every part. Surrounding him as he surrounded
unbelievably the one true part he desired the deepest. He felt the moisture,
more wet, more real. The heat and size making his hand slicked, forced in
an easy stroke against something he had only felt and seen of himself.
Dreamed of in others in his own world where he could afford to do so.
Somehow, he felt born again, opportunity forced upon him to re explore
every part of himself through his dreamed lover.

"Thats good, bro," his dream said. Leon melted anew, this time on his
voice. Smooth, soft. Light, where his body felt so hard, heavy. "That feels
real good."

"Just hold your hand right for it," the larger black ordered.

Leon did as he was told, feeling the building stroke as the black rode
against his willing fist. The wetness flowed too easily, lubricating the base
and eager lust. Coloring the three youths with the powerful stench of sex as
the black fucked in slow, gradual strokes. The lanky youth felt a new thrust
against his ass, felt the hand on his slid against his own groin. Begin the
assault on his own jeans. He felt himself cower, felt a strong, consuming
embarrassment as the bigger blacks hand sought out his dick. Leon
ashamed, scared of the reaction. He felt such powerful proof of the
manhood surrounding him. Throbbing within his hand, rubbing undying
against his ass. Everything that surrounded him, every proof in his new
world made him feel powerless to the size he experienced.

The youth gasped, feeling the large blacks hand finally react inside his
baggy jeans. Take his short member. The big hand ridiculing his size in the
way it possessed so fully. He waited for the words that never came. The
judgement that never fell upon him.

The thugs powerful hand accepted him fully. As the youths around him
accepted him equally. Unjudged. Equaled purely on lust.

Leon paused the few moments to return to his senses. Experiences
pleasures renewed as the larger black began to slowly work his aching
cock. They were slow, steady strokes, pulling rhythmically on his tightened
foreskin as much as his palm caused the friction of pleasure against his
smaller dick. The wetness of his lust, for his ultimate dream, for the sexual
act he engaged in, in the erotic highs of feeling another male holding him
there, slicking his burning pole with more and more fluidity. The lanky youth
felt a renewed flow of pre cum, the casual, yet intent masturbation drawing
him closer, where the purpose of act, and sight of his thug lover had only
started.

Leon basked in the acceptance. In the pleasure. In the high and lustfulled
eyes before him, still shaded in rich yellow. His mind was equally high,
studying in intricate detail every smooth curve of the face before him. The
youth dreamed it was his own. Both in reality, and in the form of the blacks.
His forever, with him, together in his own world that he had so readily
created. Placed this one stocky home boy as god and creator within. The
one true statement of truth. Of desire. Of what was highest.

The lanky youth felt surrounded in the sensations of this sudden, sexual
experience. The gentle, almost unheard slurping, above the sound of the
train. Young, horny dicks, striving for quick release, ready, willing in all ways
and form. The rich smells of the act came easily  to his nose, filling him with
the erotic aftertastes of spent promise of what was to come. On all sides,
the hard and steady push of strong, tempered young street muscle.
Testimony of strength and maleness, far beyond the street blasphemy of
male sex. Rubbing, stroking, grinding in the shifting upright dance that he
and his two partners performed to the silent music of desire.

Leon moaned, his eyes lost in his lovers as he stroked still against his
hand. The lanky youth feeling the overwhelming sensations of his
approaching climax fighting deep within the power of his sex. His panting
breaths attempting in poor duty to warn, cry out to the larger black. His hand
so expertly drawing closer the seed of his want, if only on the possibility it
was his own. Leon strained back, reveling in the feelings it illicted, the
feeling of the blacks hard body against his. His rigid cock pressed still tight
against his ass. Struggling against the approaching storm, crying out
meekly as he erupted rope after rope into the confines of his jeans. The fact
no lessening the larger blacks eager stroke.

"That feel good for you?"

"Yes," Leon replied quietly, still breathless. He saw the blacks eyes before
him, still on his. Still studying the depths, as he rode his erection against the
youths hand.

"Good," came the blacks heavier voice. "Cause your ass is feeling real
nice against mine."

Leons mind danced at the implications. He found himself grinding back
slightly, encouragement to what his still lustfulled mind wanted to
experience. Feeling the big blacks hand still surrounding his still pulsing
dick. The inside of his jeans and boxers as ripe as the blacks hand with his
thick young cum.

"Fuck you, Q," his lover said eventually. His voice showed the strain of his
arousal. "Im gonna need this nigga down on me. You can get ass
somewhere else."

The lanky youth felt the blacks stroke all but give up against him. The
powerful, sexual implication lay almost as a command in the stocky blacks
eyes. When Leon would live or die for the object of his true desire, he was
more than willing to the task. Realizing instantly the needs of the horny thug.
His existence to serve without question where the thug stood as king and
god in his mind. In his quiet, private world, where he could so easily escape
to be with his lover. That whom he wished he was, and was with. A dream
and world opened up, suddenly reality, like the powerful and complete
opening of his own sexual conquering to the bigger blacks hand around his
untouched sex.

"You down to slowneck for me, nigga?"

"Yes," Leon replied. There was no other answer.

The blacks voice lowered, his eyes hypnotizing, sultry. "I wanna cap my nut
in your mouth."

"I want you too."

"Good, cause Im really down for that shit."

Leon felt the eager hands well after he had already submitted, already
begun to fall to his knees before the youth. Ignorant of their location, of the
possibilities. Only knowing of what lay before. What answer had finally been
given to his pains. His desperate prayers, uttered on the highs of climax. If
only. One chance. The true desire of his heart. To be there for him. The
countless years of staring at that which he created by his own hand. Finally
given color, beyond the rough of black and white.

The youth felt the bite of the trains floor against his knees. Felt the cooler air
against his open fly, and dick inside, now that the blacks hand had  left him
there. Behind him, the larger black, his hands now on his shoulders. He felt
one hand, his right, leave after a moment. Most likely attending to more
needy requirements. Leon though he almost heard the relief above him, the
sound of the blacks sigh. Before him, the thick legs of his dream, bared for
all but his baggy boxers. The cruel, bent length of his dick sticking out
through the short slit. Glistening with the wetness of his want.

Leon looked it over, barely believing that he had but moments before held it
in his hand. It looked bigger than it felt, a thick, hard length of beaten street
thug. Far from what he had imagined, purely on his own personal lack of
experience. Still more than loved in its presence, its willingness. His lovers
dick, a hard, very thick twist of male testimony, bent rigidly to his right. The
thick core of his cock running the underside to its flaring, naked head. As
inviting in dream as the blacks lips, the broad, speared head a new sexual
mouth to the youth. Begging the same deep kiss.

The thick shrub of black pubic hair nested inside the thugs boxers, the
same that hid his heavy balls from Leons eyes. The lanky youth reached
timidly, shakey, where previously his hand had held the home boys hefty
pistol grip of flesh without thought. Sight a bold new statement and reality
before his eyes. So close to his mouth, where he had never had it. Thought
only entertained upon sex filled and needy dream. The thick, smothering
musk of his aroma filling his nose, the slicked shaft as intimidating before
him as the rest of the stocky youth.

Leon leapt. For the pleasure of his desire.

Putting his virgin mouth where he most wanted it. Wanted for his lover.

The shower of emotion washed over the both of them, something that Leon
felt paramount among the twist of erotic sensations. The blacks body as
filled with feeling as his own, experiencing in full trueness the act of what
was happening. A blinding marinade of emotions shocked his senses,
colored with the sensations of the blacks sex. As the lanky youth felt the
almost immediate push of the black above him, against his mouth, in a
desperate need to deepen the rich feelings that burnt within the object of
their desires.

Leon struggled to sort the telling of his senses. The feeling of the blacks
dick in his mouth was strange, more so than he would have guessed. The
pleasurable dream and fantasy that was, now a blunt reality. Coming too
eager by his black lovers lusty wants, rather than the utopic exploration
Leon had always thought of. There was an urgentness behind the hard,
twisted dick, as the black pushed with his hips. Encouraging a more fuller
conquering of his throbbing sex. An act that filled Leons young senses with
the overwhelming statements of the blunt act.

The strange size and feel of the youths dick.

A strange, salty taste that ran every inch of that still throbbing shaft.

Bared to his lips as he began an all but timid suck-suck motion, his mind
thinking only to do what he had dreamed in the presence of a thousand
errant feelings and emotions.

Nothing felt like this. Leon found himself consumed in the sensations of that
which was unfolding before him. Nothing he had ever had in his mouth
came close to the fleshy, sweaty, pre cum slicked presence that he found
himself slowly trying to accept. His lips seemed to fit around it in an almost
perfect embrace, as his mouth, and his lovers shaft rubbed and ran in
haphazard pattern. The friction no doubt causing the black an immense of
pleasure, as he fell back against the wall, his hands rubbing encouragingly
at Leons hood, then to his short, ratty dreads.

Leon felt the desperate need there. Strangely, the need there felt far more
powerful than the one he had felt in his gaze upon the youth. Impossibly, his
own need felt second to this lusty, wanting eagerness. The hands of his
dream, strong, big, pulling his head forward, where his hips met to push in a
strong, slow stroke. Leon felt himself pausing, doing as he had with his
hand, merely holding to take the blacks dick as he stroked against his
body.

One that was just there. No further on a need deeper than that. No where
near the strength of emotion Leon felt in his want for that true
companionship of his dream. Yet still shadowed by the more consuming
action of the black to get off on his mouth.

Leon kept his mouth straight for the youth, feeling the twist of his dick
making the stroke a strange, almost difficult one. The almost extreme right
curve of the youths cock causing his member to push more incessantly
against his cheek inside. Leon moving more often than not, to the
gratification of the stocky youth, to take the dick more correctly, where his
needful stroke sent it askew.

"Oh yeah ... oh yeah .... fuck yeah boy .... yeah ...."

The lanky youth heard the stream of breathless praises falling from above
him. For some reason felt the push of the larger black behind him. His hand
again on his shoulder, where his lovers had begun stroking deeper into his
jet black dreads. His nose pushed suddenly, deep into the intoxicating
depths of the blacks tight curved bush, ranking his senses with an
overbearing smell of male musk. The smell came to a bewildered set of
senses, still struggling, still fighting to hold in check the sensations still
raining within him, and around him.

Leon felt the passage of the blacks thick, wet cock press with more
urgency. The chorus of moans and quiet words escalate. As he felt the ride
of youths big dick, the occasional caress of his broad, cut head again
pulling to color his lips with the stark paints of his arrested juices. The black
taking his dick with one hand, handling it so to run it against Leons young
lips, leaving a trail of wetness against his mouth. Against his cheek as the
hard twist and eagerness of his thick dick wrenched his sexual club from
his grasp slightly. Before it came to bare again against Leons mouth,
slipping slowly within in a wet, slurping stroke.

"Oh fuck ... oh fuck .... here it comes nigga ..... Im ready to bust ...."

The light voice all but whispered to him, where he failed to hide his moans
of arousal. Leon found his body bracing for what he knew was to come. Not
finding an overwhelming willingness to participate where he had originally,
and eagerly, gone to his knees. Put his mouth on the thugs blazoned cock.
The lanky youth felt a slight dread, almost fear of having to taste what was
to follow. The whole act too quick, too eager. Too willing where he had only
dreamed a slow and gentle exploration.

The taste came to his lips in an overwhelming shower of salt. A single,
strong pulse that colored his mouth and chin with the force of the stroke.

The next fell against the back of his tongue, as the black shoved himself
inside Leons mouth. Moaning at the intensity of his climax, the sensations
of filling the youths mouth with his seed. Muttering incoherently above him
as surge after surge of strong juice filled Leons mouth. Only to be forced
back, swallowed for lack of alternative. Leon finding himself in the spur of
the moment drinking with an almost eagerness, taking that thick, invading
dick a little deeper.

He fought the urge to spit. Even moreso once his slacking sex slipped from
his mouth.

Withdrawing that which he had dreamed of taking. Would have no other
was in the depths of his own, self created world of bliss. Where only his
truest dreams and feelings sat. Alone to the cruelness that surrounded him
every day. A solitary escape. Answered in strange irony at the act that had
unfolded. Coming off perhaps less than felt. Something of Leons spirit
dropping as he felt the taste within his mouth he couldnt banish. A thickness
that colored ever part of his lips and tongue.

Something he found himself wanting to clean out. Despite the deeply
intimate taking he had just received. A one part of his thuggish lover that he
had wanted so badly.

Leon felt his senses drag back to the reality of the train. The harsh knock to
the back of his head, jarring his senses, making him cower in an almost
instinct reaction. Coming from the too eager fist of the larger youth as he
jacked his long length, the last few strokes that took him to his climax.
Showering a few short, wet trails of male cum through Leons weedy
dreads. Heralded by the eventual moan and release that the youth felt come
to his ears. Born on the blissful climax of the larger black.

The youth struggled to his feet, his knees hurting. Aided by his lover,
coming again tight within the press of his stocky, warm body. The lanky
youth saw the softness in those yellowed eyes, felt the breath escape from
his panting lips to fall hot against his cheek. There was a familiarity there,
but one that Leon felt he'd rather not see. In favour of his thoughts, as he
tried to make sense of what had passed. That which he had asked for. This
was what he wanted, he reasoned silently. This is what he had asked for,
gazing into his drawings. Spending countless hours in the creation, eager
and quick stroke bringing thought to paper.

This. This was the object of his affection. This is what he wanted.

And he had had it. That which he would have dreamt of that night. Released
his own seed in lusty fantasy, thoughts of being locked within the embrace
of this one stocky youth. A street born thug. His only, making him as much
himself as the youth gave of himself. He had received in the most bluntest
reality what he would have only dreamed of.

Leon felt it fall far, far short.

The youth felt his eyes drop, seeing the bright white of the youths tshirt, still
falling across that broad, strong chest. He still felt the breath of his lips. His
nose was rich with the smells of male sex, a powerful, unavoidable musk
that saturated the air. He felt the larger black behind him, obviously
struggling with his jeans in the passing of his climax. The latino that had
been beside him the same time gazed back, his baggy sports pants still
tented, his face willed with an expression of want. Desire. Born of hot, lusty
sex.

Leon questioned himself, struggled with the reality. That which he had
always seem. Reasoned would solve all the problems of his cursed
existence in the undying ghettos of his life. A presence that he now basked
in, within the stocky embrace of his dreams. Solving little. Creating far
more.

"Get my pants ...."

Leon turned his head somewhat, eventually doing his best to dip, pull the
blacks sagging jeans up to have them taken by the youths hand. Buttoned
and flied quickly. A task complete. A need fulfilled. Nothing more. Leon
looked back up at those soft eyes, his own hardening somewhat as he saw
the physical. Everything his soul cried for in the erotic dreams of his
desires. Nothing of the mental. Nothing beyond the hard press of his stocky
body.

"Thanks nigga .... your shit is hot."

The youth felt the train lurch to a stop, realizing he had felt that same feeling
countless times now, since he had boarded. The confines around him
loosened. He felt his body free from the stocky youths, stepping back to
see the full length of the thugs stocky form. A sight that mated suddenly with
the drawing he had in his mind. Had committed to paper in such intricate
detail. Burnt on his mind, his dreams. The lanky youth saw him step
forward, push against him again as he did his best to move past him. Into
the body of the train. Leon turning to see the entourage of thuggish youths,
the larger black, the latino, the shorter black of the group, head towards the
door of the train. Now far more emptied. The realization coming to the
youths mind that the press had long since been one of need. Turning
eventually as the train had emptied out into a desired closeness between
males.

A want to get off. Nothing more.

Leon felt himself fight for a second, as he grabbed up his pack. Step after
the stocky black as he saw him turn his head. Give him a look that spoke so
deeply of sexual conotation and suggestion. An invitation, if nothing less,
born on one slow, smooth glance as the stocky youth slow walked off the
train. Expecting him to follow.

Leon fought. Found himself dropping into a nearby, now very much empty
seat. Realizing the absence within the train now, so much further on in time.
Mating too perfectly with that which he felt inside. Watching as the object of
his affection walked out onto the platform. Unrepentant. Unregretting of that
which had passed.

An object. Nothing more. Leon found himself realizing that which he had
never looked deeper into. The emotion beyond his own. Where it had
blazed in so true feeling across the skies of his own created world. Where
emotion had consumed him to seek and to feel and experience. To beg to
presence of that one who could fill the emptiness within himself. Filling
physically in full ableness. Doing nothing to fill in emotion. In care, or want.
Leon knew his own feelings too well. Knew that they had blinded him to the
reality that he overlooked in his own world, as he had created countless
possibilities to satisfy that which he felt within.

The feelings of another.

The too complex emotions of the other. An assumption that Leon had made
time and time again as he stared at the face of his dream. Drew the gentle
stroke of pencil against pan. Created in the fanciful fantasy that he had
created. Taking physical from the world around him, supplying his own
mental and emotional. Patching life and assumption of reciprocated feeling
into the sketches he drew hours on end. Seeing, but not realizing the
dreams he created were his alone.

Shared by no others. Very much less the one that had passed within the
world of his existence that early night. Leon felt cheated as he saw the
stocky youth, his jeans still very much sagging, walking away from the train.
A departure soon empounded on as the subway train embarked once
again.

Leon pulled the hood of his baggy sweatshirt down tight over his head. He
glanced around at the now quiet and unpacked train, seeing the occasional
person here or there. He had seen this scene countless times. Had ridden
this train a lifetime of nights before. Taking the shelter from the cold of the
city outside. Taking the time to sketch again the unnoticing features of yet
another figure, populating a world that he wanted to escape to, did so so
often in his drawings.

But then, in the quiet of the train that night. For the first time, Leon didnt feel
like drawing.