The Storm: Chapter 5
The Betrayer
By Han Tamashii





Author's Notes:

Doing the right thing is hard. It doesn't matter how old or how
righteous you are, it takes a strong constitution to do the right
thing in the face of adversity. It's even more difficult when the
'right thing' will hurt one of your friends.

There have been a few times when I have had to decide whether to
risk damaging a friendship or do nothing, and watch a friend do
something foolish. Something that would not only hurt them, in
the long run, but hurt those around them. I have always opted to
save my friends in spite of themselves.

In this case, I wonder if it was the best choice. I believe I did
the right thing, of course. But did it change anything or just
delay the inevitable? Years later, I see no real benefit to my
actions. Nothing to balance the suffering that they caused.

I don't know if I would do the same thing again. And moral
uncertainty...scares the hell out of me.

HT





I only saw it for an instant. The blinds were promptly shut,
blocking out my view. Sinking to the ground where I was hid, I
thought about what I'd seen. My first clear thought was that I
was glad Brynn had not been with me. My second clear thought was
one of disbelief.

Leanne's boyfriend...was an old guy?!? He looked to be about
thirty. Chubby and long haired. Not attractive by any standard,
in my opinion. Leanne, however, had seemed to feel differently.

It had been a month or so since we played our game in Leanne's
room. Since then, she had begun to shun both Brynn and I. She
refused to play with us, walk home from school with us, or even
let us attend her birthday party last week.

This October was much too cold for a party like they had for
Brynn's birthday. No trips to the lake or swimming or roasting
hot dogs over an open fire. Leanne instead opted for a sleepover
party. She invited several of her friends from school. All girls,
incidentally.

Brynn and I had been banished from her house for the duration of
the party. We were not to be seen or heard of while Leanne's
friends were over. She, being 14 now, was much too old to be
hanging out with kids like us.

Brynn had stayed at my house overnight. We had fun, despite our
unfair treatment. We played board games and talked until we
couldn't keep our eyes open any longer, then we made our way to
our indoor camp. Our sleeping bags were laid out on the living
room floor. We'd made a fake campfire out of cardboard and
colored it with those markers that smelled like fruit. We held
hand until we fell asleep.

After that night, Leanne was openly cruel to us. She'd yell and
tell us to get lost whenever we asked her to play with us. We
were hurt and confused. Brynn was even more affected by it than
I.

She had changed. It was in the blink of an eye, too. One day we
were all friends and having fun together, the next we were bitter
enemies. The biggest change was how she acted towards Brynn.
There was this look of pure hate in her eyes whenever she saw
Brynn.

At the time, I'd been unable to even imagine what could bring
about such a change. What could conjure up such rage so quickly.
Later on, I discovered that it had not been quick or sudden at
all. It had been brewing, festering inside her for almost a year.
And it had finally consumed her.

Being denied the advantage of hindsight, it was curiosity that
made me follow her that day. She was headed off to see her
boyfriend, who no one up until that day, had seen. It was a
common joke between Brynn and I that he was imaginary. George the
ghostly boyfriend, we called him. Tragically, this was not the
case.

I trailed her from a distance. I knew where she went whenever she
was going to see her boyfriend. Always to the same quarter and
stood under the same tree facing the same townhouse.

She had been there two or three times since we had first followed
her. There was nothing much to see, though. She would pace
awhile, sometimes she would cry. Then she would just walk away
looking miserable.
This day was different. After her normal routine of brooding and
pacing, she stood up straight and took a strong posture. It
reminded me of that first day we'd watched her. Before she fell.

Today, she didn't fall. She didn't back down or walk away,
either. She walked. Slowly, but steadily, she willed her feet
forward. Towards that townhouse. Until she stood in front of it's
door.

Trembling mightily, her finger pressed the doorbell. The awful
waiting. Second ticked away as I waited, watching Leanne wait.
The door opened after long minute. From where I was hidden, I
couldn't see his face.

They talked. I couldn't hear a word, but Leanne's posture wilted.
She looked like she was pleading, begging almost. Then a hand
reached out and pulled her inside. Not that he was forcing her.
She looked relieved and stepped into the house eagerly.

This scene only increased my curiosity. I knew how to get some
answers, and that's what I did. Sneaking around to the back of
the townhouse, keeping my head below the top of the wooden fence,
I got into position to peer through the patio blinds.

By the time I was able to get a good look, a shocking scene was
already in progress. Leanne was standing, bent over at the waist
and leaning on something, with her skirt pulled up and her
panties at her knees.

The man was stepping out of his jeans at that moment. I saw that
he had an erection and was stepping up behind Leanne. His body
was in the way and I couldn't see if he entered her or not. They
were starting to move a bit, though, before he stopped and
reached for the cord to close the blinds.

Confusion was the dominant emotion. I didn't have much knowledge
or experience with sex, but I knew, instinctively, that this was
wrong. Leanne and I had fooled around, sure, but that was
different. It was just games.

Honestly, I didn't understand the difference. I only knew that
there was one. This was something different, and it was something
they shouldn't be doing. Another thing I knew was that this was
something I should tell an adult about.

It wasn't something I did easily, however. Friends have a certain
loyalty to each other. Even now that we weren't all that friendly
towards each other, it was difficult for me to tattle on her.

In the end, I thought about how she had been acting recently. She
had been edgy, irritable, and angry. If this was something good
for her, she should be happy, right? The only thing I saw was a
constant suffering. An unending agony that I imagined feeling a
thousand times worse than falling off your bike.

And so it was that an hour later I was sitting on my couch
telling my parents what I'd seen. They listened. They took me
seriously. Which didn't make it easy to do, but it made it less
difficult. I was crying by the end. A small bag of nerves and
jitters.

That feeling didn't fade over the next few days. There were
police everywhere. They talked to me, my parents, Leanne and her
family. They took the man into custody. My involvement was never
revealed to Leanne or her parents. My betrayal was secret.

It still didn't feel good. Even worse, because it was so
intensely applauded by my parents and the police. They called me
a hero. In my mind a hero was someone with a gun or super powers.
They could fly and they saved everyone without fail. They made
everyone smile again.

Leanne was not smiling. From what Brynn was telling me, she was
doing a whole lot of crying. None of it turned out like it should
have. There was no happily ever after for this story.

The man was never convicted. In fact, Leanne's parents dropped
the charges. I know now why, but at the time, I couldn't begin to
imagine. Apparently the police can't just walk away from a
possible sexual abuse case, though. They came back to question me
again.

This time, with Leanne and her parents denying the whole event,
the police were much less friendly with me. They asked me
questions until I was so scared and upset, I couldn't remember
what happened anymore. They told me I was angry because she was
mean to me. I wanted to get back at her. I did this all for
revenge, didn't I? They kept on and on. I just wanted them to go
away. So I told them I made it all up.

The police seemed satisfied, but my parents were furious. I heard
one cop talking to my dad, "He had to learn not to make false
accusations like that. We wasted a lot of time and manpower here.
And we caused a lot of grief for that family."

In a blink, I went from hero to criminal. Oh nothing really
happened. I was grounded for awhile, but no one was going to
charge an eight year old with anything.

The man was apologized to. He went on living as if nothing had
happened. Although his neighbors always treated him with
suspicion after that. It was small satisfaction, though.

A week later I was still grounded. My parents made an exception,
and let Brynn come in. She was crying, already, and flung herself
into my arms. We hugged. It took ten minutes before she could
speak.

"We're moving," she whimpered, "in two weeks."

As soon as she said it, she was reduced to violent sobbing again.
She pulled away from me and ran out the door as I stood there,
stunned.

You know how they say your life flashes before your eyes as
you're about to die? My friendship with Leanne and Brynn flashed
before my eyes just then. We'd only known each other for a few
months. It didn't feel like a short time at all. It felt full. It
felt like something that couldn't be defined by it's age.

We had played, fought, made up, played some more. We'd laughed
and cried and held each other. It was a time that stands out in
my mind. It's a time that over and over, thrusts itself back into
my memory. Even when I often wish I could forget every detail.
The more I wish, the more vivid the memory seems. That's my
punishment, I think.
The next two weeks were long, but uneventful. My release date had
been decided to be the day after Leanne and Brynn's family moved.
I'm not sure if it was cruel or merciful. I would have liked to
say goodbye, but I don't think I could have I could have looked
Leanne in the eye. And neither of the girls came to see me, after
Brynn's tearful announcement.

They had arrived out of nothing, and now they disappeared into
nothing. Who's to say that they ever really existed?

My time in solitude caused me to become quite skilled at being
alone. I learned to entertain myself by diving into my
imagination. Fantastic stories were flitting through my head at
all times. They were full of heroes, princesses, and betrayal.

When I went outside alone for the first time in over two weeks,
the world felt different. It seemed emptier. I wandered around
aimlessly. Sometimes I would watched other kids playing.
Sometimes I would find a quiet place to be alone. But from then
on, I always felt alone. I carried the loneliness with me. It was
inside me now. Part of me.

I never let anyone get close to me. There was always a distance
between me and my friends. Always a few things I wasn't willing
to share with them. This distance was a protection for everyone.
It protected me from being hurt, but also, it protected my
friends. From me. In my mind, well-meaning as I was, I had become
cursed.

I was the betrayer. I hurt everyone I care about.















Leanne says,

"I told my dad that if Tom was convicted,
that the cops would hear all about how my dear daddy touched me.
It wasn't Tom's fault anyway. I'm just a dirty whore.
Just like daddy made me."













"At first my parents were mad at Leanne.
They called her 'tramp', 'slut', and 'whore'.
That's how I learned those words.
But then, it all went away, and no one talked about it ever
again,"

says Brynn











The Betrayer
The Storm: Chapter 5
End