The following story is purely a work of fiction of a sexual nature. If you're not of age, it's illegal to view such material in your community, etc. then stop right now and go away. Archive and distribute freely as you please just no paysites, leave the story intact, and leave my e-mail inside as well. -- Birthday Wishes Scribbled together by JJ jjdak@hotmail.com -- It's funny in a way, or sadly pathetic. It depends on your point of view and that you can figure out on your own. It all starts a few years back shortly before or after Stars Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace was released in theaters. Natalie Portman was all the rage with the new Star Wars movie coming out, and I'm not quite sure what prompted me to, but one day I sat down and typed out a sex story. It took me maybe twenty minutes to write and needless to say it sucked. Back then I didn't care about plot or development or anything of that nature just good old-fashioned whack material. Not that what I'm writing now isn't stroke material, but whenever I do get around to writing something new I now tend to try and put forth some effort. I don't know, it's just that I find it a bit too cheesy to write about how I was working at an Office Max or Staples in Hollywood one day when Kirsten Dunst walks in asking for Scotch Tape. I give her directions and for some reason I follow her to the tape aisle where she happens to be alone and fingering herself because we have a two for one special going on. At that point I take her into back where it happens to be empty and there's a really comfy cot that we use to get on and make out while I show her the true power of a pricing gun. That's a stupid and farfetched idea, but it gets my point across. It's really easy to write absurd and out there stories, not that me having sex with Kirsten or ever meeting her isn't absurd, but I'll address Ms. Dunst and our meeting in a moment. If you like writing short stroke material stories then more power to you there's room for everybody, and while I'm not an English major by any means and could probably do a better job of editing my stories please use a spell checker and use some god damn form of paragraph and sentence structure. Anyways let's return to the point of this mess. As I sit here at my desk I find myself in the beginnings of writing another erotic celebrity story. Yeah I've heard the argument over the difference between erotica and pornography, but unless you're willing to freely show your friends and family what you're into then what's the point in trying to distinguish between the two? I've sidetracked myself enough so far and there is a time and a place to beat that dead horse some more, but this isn't it. Like I stated a few minutes ago I find myself sitting here again working on another story under yet another nick. To those who have read anything I've written it shouldn't be too hard to figure out who I last was. Why am I writing another story? Perhaps because I'm bored, perhaps because it's fun, but whatever the reason I keep finding myself coming back to CSSA despite the number of times I've said to myself I was finished writing and have e-mailed the webmaster to remove my stories. I nearly broke away this time going as far as having all my previous stories marked as being written by Anonymous. I never "leave" the site or the discussion boards for a good reason, though I have deleted my pen name from the boards several times. I've left because of a lack of feedback which I figured out is never a good reason to write for. It's nice to receive mail every once in awhile saying "Your story was good" or "Your story really sucked" and it certainly helps in keeping you writing, but once you start writing for feedback and glory you quickly lose the desire to write once your inbox starts to run dry. There have been a few other stupid reasons for me quitting such as thinking of a handful of authors being elitists who formed their own circle-jerk club and gave each other pats on the back for everything. Most of my reasoning for leaving has been severely flawed and wrong. So I'm back writing again for the time being with a new story to tell. It starts way back when I still wrote under the name turc443 and had just started work on my contribution to the "Celebs Meet C-S-S-A" series which was about nine months ago. Kirsten Dunst fits into this because she had a hand in helping me write the story which was initially meant to revolve around another story I wrote, but more or less turned into an account of the weekend she and I spent together. I'm not going to go into detail about that here since the story is still up and you can just read it to find out what happened. The point at which I'm going to start now is what happened after that weekend. I did finish the story, and although I had some issues with it I was pretty happy with the way it turned out. I e-mailed Kirsten a copy of it when I finished, and though she did point out a few things that I had noticed after it was posted at C-S-S-A.com, she said she liked it and thought it turned out pretty good. I had my job I had to work from eight to five and Kirsten had things she had to do during her free time, but we managed chat with each other on ICQ or on the phone from time to time. The month and a half that she had came and went of course and she flew out to England like I knew she would. I knew the time that I had with the ability to talk to her online was short and I knew it was going to end so I was ok with it; well as ok as I can be anyways. Like I've stated before and as those who know me personally know I can be a bit of a headcase sometimes. The day after Kirsten left as I worked on the story and throughout different points in the day when something would remind me of her I got to thinking about the weekend. Despite the fanboy I was and still am, and despite the sex, I truly appreciated what that weekend lead to. Obviously, we chatted about the story and how it was going, but the little things we talked about like life in general, how we were doing, and just other what I would consider small insignificant things really kind of made me happy because I was talking with someone who cared or at least seemed to. I know I'm probably completely responsible for doing this to myself, but one of the things I learned was that people can easily survive being alone. I had done so for twenty-three years even when I was growing up living with my parents. I never really talked to them or made an attempt to develop a meaningful relationship with either one, but this isn't the place to talk about that. It took me too long to figure this out, but nobody really wants to be alone. Of course if you can serve up a big dose of apathy then it makes things a lot easier. I see I'm veering away from the point of this story so let me get back on track here. After Kirsten left the country and I was left on my own I did all right for awhile holding onto my memories and new found realizations. During the time between then and now a few noteworthy things happened. After the accident Sara and Mike got married two months later, then Sara gave birth to a baby boy a few months ago and named it George after her grandfather. Even though I pulled Sara, Mike, and their then unborn baby from the wreckage before it exploded I was still a bit surprised when they asked me to be George's godfather. Time heals all wounds or something I suppose. I'm a lapsed Catholic so I didn't take as much honor and dignity from being asked as I guess I should have, but it's one of those questions you can't really say no to. I still see and talk to them from time to time, but its usually small talk and at the grocery store or a gas station. Oh and I moved across town into another apartment. The events surrounding my move are a whole nother story, but they can basically be summed up like this. The apartment building I had been living in for almost two years, the same one Kirsten visited me at, wasn't in an upscale part of town nor was it in the ghetto. It was in a middle-class part of town if you want to call it something. I knew the landlord Steve pretty well. I wasn't going out and having drinks with him every night, but I saw him enough to be on relatively good terms with him almost to the point of being friends. Almost friends. However, and there's always a however, with two months left on the lease I find out he's pushing drugs on the side. When the police showed up and arrested him it was then that I decided to move. Steve's sister who ran a complex in a different part of town came in to run things until his family knew for certain what was going to happen to him as far as jail time went. I let my lease run out and moved the hell out. She asked me to stay and reconsider, but considering too that I lent Steve money over the two years that he never paid back it wasn't a difficult decision for me. Other than the baby and the apartment there wasn't too much excitement in my life. It was a few months after Kirsten had left and life had returned to normal for me, which meant going to work, coming home, going to bed, and then running this same exact routine over again the next day. Again, and I say again because this has happened before and will probably happen again, I got to a point where I became very apathetic and ho-hum about writing celebrity erotica. I wrote a few stories after "Celebs Meet CSSA #12: Kirsten Dunst", but I still lost my desire to write anything pornographic or otherwise. I even tried to do a series which turned into a big bust after only three chapters. Before I forget let me mention this now. Out of the celeb stories I wrote after CMC #12 most involved musician Avril Lavigne. She's also the celeb I wrote the most stories about at a whopping three pieces. So with much apathy and little excitement in my life I returned to watching movies and playing video games whenever I was at home. Like I said earlier this most recent departure from writing and CSSA had me getting the webmaster to change all the pen names on my stories to Anonymous. What I didn't mention earlier was that I also deleted my username from the message board and even uninstalled ICQ from my computer. Kirsten was pretty much gone from my life and the only reason I had ICQ in the first place was because of my stories just in case anyone every wanted to talk to me when I was online. I still had Yahoo Instant Messenger, but that was mostly used to talk to a few friends who knew nothing of my sex stories and most of the time it was off anyways. The beginning of this story takes place about a month and a half to two months ago. It was a Thursday evening like every other day of the workweek. I had just gotten home from work and got the mail before heading inside. Not that it's really all that pertinent to this story, but I'm a sales assistant at a company that sells phone systems and other related things. This is just to tide me over until I figure out what I want to do with my life. Anyways, I don't really get a lot of mail except for my monthly bills. This particular day I got some junkmail and large bubble envelope. I didn't give the package a second look and tossed it onto the kitchen table thinking that since my birthday was coming up my brother had found some obscure oddball horror movie that I hadn't seen and sent it to me. I tossed the junkmail in the trashcan before checking to see what was in the fridge. I really didn't feel like cooking, but since I didn't have much of anything and needed to go to the store hotdogs were about my only option. I still had a can of chili in one of my kitchen cabinets so chilidogs were on the menu tonight. I turned on the stove and set a pot of water on it. After throwing in the last two hotdogs I had I put another pot on the stove this filled with the last can of chili I had. I set the temperature for the chili side of the stove lower so it would heat up about the same time as the hotdogs did. I grabbed a Bud Light from the fridge and flipped on the tv in the living room and turned it to Sports Center on ESPN. I watched tv for a bit then got up to check on the wieners and chili. Both were ready so I turned the oven off and fetched the dogs from the water with a fork. As I took a bite of the chilidog and swallowed down some beer my cordless phone rang. "Hello?" I coughed nearly choking on a bit of hotdog that I swallowed too fast. "Hey JJ, it's Dan." "Hey, what's up?" "I got the Avril Lavigne tickets you wanted." "What Avril Lavigne tickets?" "You don't remember?" "All I remember is last week you saying that your girlfriend wanted you to take her and you asking me if I wanted to go with you two, because you really didn't want to go. I said yes, but I was being sarcastic and had a thick enough layer for anyone to see." "Great so what am I supposed to do with an extra ticket?" "Uh, how about get a refund? What am I going to do at a concert filled with twelve-year-olds and you two making out the whole time?" "Ah Christ man, we aren't going to be doing anything. You know Jennifer is a huge fan of Avril's, so what am I going to be doing at a concert full of twelve-year-olds?" "Do I have to pay you back for the ticket?" "Will that make a difference?" "Maybe, maybe not though it'd help if I didn't." "Ok fine, you don't have to pay me back. You're a bastard you know that right?" "Hey, you're the one who ignored my sarcasm and bought me the ticket. Like I said you can just take it back for a refund. You've got to ask yourself, is my company worth thirty-five bucks?" "You know I have no choice in the matter so this time your company is worth that much, though under normal circumstances I wouldn't give more than a fifty cents off coupon for Rice-a-Roni for it." "What about beer?" "Do they sell beer at these kinds of concerts?" "They better." "If they sell it I'll even throw in two beers. I can't afford to blow much more than that on you. Of course if you really wanted to be a friend you get just get liquored up before the concert and save me money." "Nah, I'll drink the beer there. Now what about t-shirts?" "I'm not buying you a god damn Avril Lavigne t-shirt! I'm not even getting one for Jennifer. She's buying it herself." "God damn Dan I was just kidding," I laughed. "So when's the concert anyways?" "It's on your birthday actually, August 11th." "August 11th? That's like a week and a half from now. How long did you wait to get tickets?" "I waited until Jennifer said something about the concert which was last week. I didn't want to go and was hoping she wouldn't know Avril was in town until too late, and for whatever reason she didn't say anything about it until last week. Anyways I've got to go and run some errands for her, so I'll talk to you later." "Errands huh? That a boy. Keep the master happy." "Fuck you JJ. At least I'm married." "That's your problem and not mine." "You're not going to stay single forever. Some broad is going to fall in love with you and 'make' you marry her as you put it. Your time is coming." "We'll see. I'll talk to you later Dan. My brother just sent me some movie for my birthday and I'm fixing to watch it." "Cool, let me know how it turns out." "Ok, cya." "Talk to you later man." After the line went dead I put the phone back on the pedestal. I finished eating dinner and threw the empty dishes into the sink. I threw my empty beer bottle away and got a new one from the fridge. I grabbed the envelope off the table and opened it. I then noticed the package was postmarked in New York and had given no name. There was only an address. Every once in awhile my brother would just write his address only, but this wasn't one of those times as he currently resided in Tacoma, Washington. Curious as to what the hell was on the tape, I took it out and popped it into the VCR. There was no note in the package and no labeling of any kind on the vhs tape. I turned the tv to three and started to press play when my phone rang again. I retrieved the phone from the kitchen and returned the living room. As I sat down on the couch pushing play on the VCR remote I answered the phone. "Hello?" "Guess who." As soon as she said "guess" I immediately knew who it was. It had been awhile since we last talked, and even longer since that weekend. I guess I kind of expected her to disappear completely from my life leaving me with my memories, so I was shocked when I picked up and heard her voice. I didn't know what to say and just sat there in silence for a bit. "Hello? You there JJ?" "Yeah I am Kirsten," I finally stammered out. I had spent time with her before and gotten to know her about as well as one can over a three-day period, but I was still in shock and close to returning to fanboy form. "You ok?" "Yeah I'm fine." "Ok, it just sounded like you left or something since you didn't say anything." "Well I wasn't really expecting to hear from you again." "Speaking of which, what happened to you? You're stories are all marked as Anonymous at CSSA, your name is gone from the message board, you haven't returned any of my e-mails, you're never on ICQ anymore, and you've moved. You just up and disappeared." "You flew to England to film your movie and I've pretty much stopped writing stories which is why I disappeared. It's been like nine months since you were down here and almost seven since we last talked." "Are you ok? You're not having fights with Sara and Mike again are you?" "No, actually everything is pretty cool between us now and I'm even the godfather of George." "George?" "Sara and Mike's kid. They had a boy and everyone's doing ok. Anyways, how did you get my number?" "You left your forwarding information at your old apartment complex and I got it from them. Not that it was difficult to track you down, but why'd you move and not say anything to me?" "Uh, because you're a celebrity flying all over the world making movies and making appearances at events and stuff. We're from two different worlds. I have no idea what you're schedule is like and I just figured that the weekend was one of those rare occasions. You know what happened, I know what happened, but who's going to believe me and who are you going to tell?" "Let's not start this again JJ." "Yeah I know. I'm sorry. I'm curious though, why are you calling today?" "I was in New York last week doing something for MTV and I mailed you a package. I was calling to see if you got it yet." "Maybe, what was it?" "A video tape." "What was the name written with the sender's address?" "I didn't write one." "Uh, huh. I'm going to guess now that there weren't any labels on the tape or any notes included?" "Right. You got the tape I take it." "Got it today actually. I walked into the apartment twenty minutes ago so I haven't had a chance to look at it. What's going on?" "Watch the tape first and I'll explain it then." "I've got it in the VCR already, give me a second to play it. How long does it last?" "Just a few minutes. Watch it and let me know when you're done." "Ok, hold on." I wasn't at all sure what to expect as I watched the video and I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it at the end. What Kirsten had to say in it was something I didn't expect The video started out with an overhead shot of a campground with cabins. The camera then zoomed in on the door of the largest cabin that had a sign hanging on the door that read "Counselors Only". The door opened up and the camera moved upstairs before stopping in front of another door. The sounds of sex could be heard as a bed squeaked and a man and woman moaned loudly. The camera suddenly switched to a side shot of the bed and although the man and woman were covered in the bedsheets you could make out their motions. Suddenly the door to the bedroom swung open slamming into the wall with a loud thud. The couple stopped and the man who was on top turned to face the source of the noise. Standing in the doorway was cheesy knockoff of Jason Voorhess with someone dressed up in old beat up coveralls and a hockey mask. "What the--" The man barely got two words out before a knife struck him in the forehead between the eyes. The woman started screaming hysterically as her partner fell to the floor dead. "Jason" then stalked towards the female stopping to pull the knife from the man. The woman screamed again covering her face as "Jason's" arm went back and readied itself for the deathblow. The screen went black and mute. After about five or six seconds of dark silence the sound of water beating the bottom of a bathtub slowly became loud and audible. The picture faded into a bathroom with the camera focused on a bathtub with a shower curtain pulled shut. Closer and closer the camera zoomed in on the curtain until it was inches away. Suddenly Kirsten's wet face and sopping hair popped out from behind the curtain. "You know JJ every once in awhile it's good to get out of the house, and do things you don't normally do. I've been to your place, how about you come to mine?" Kirsten said smiling. She blew the camera a kiss and said, "I'll be waiting." The camera then turned to an overhead shot of the coveralls and hockey mask lying on the bathroom floor. The screen turned black again then turned to snow. I pushed rewind on the VCR then hit eject when it was done. As the tape popped out I grabbed it and sat back on the couch. "You there?" I asked into the phone. "Yeah," Kirsten replied. "The tape finished?" "Yes it is." "And? What did you think?" "Well... I don't know what I was expecting, but that was certainly a bit odd. It was cool, just not something I was expecting to come from you I guess. Where did you come up with the idea?" "I was just going to call and ask if you wanted to come visit, but then I remembered going through your dvd collection when I was visiting. It cost a penny or two to make, but you seemed to have gotten a kick out of it. So what do you say?" "Not to be a smartass, but that's a bit of a rhetorical question don't you think? Besides where are you getting your free time to do this? I thought you had a movie to film?" "I did, but that was eight months ago. That one is finished." "And the next one begins when?" "Not for awhile yet. I've got a number of scripts I'm looking at, but I'm going to take some time off for myself. That month and a half was nice, but I want some time to really unwind." "Yeah well, there won't be the same drama this time like there was last time... hopefully." "Not unless you have enemies in New Jersey." "New Jersey? I thought you lived in L.A.?" "I have homes in both. My parents still live in Jersey so I bought a home there too. We can go to L.A. if you want." "New Jersey's fine with me. It doesn't matter one way or the other. What days did you have in mind?" "I was thinking the weekend of August 10th. Your birthday's on the 11th right? And this it's on a Saturday. Take Friday and Monday off and we'll have a four day weekend to spend together." "The 10th sounds go-- Uh hmm..." "Hmm what?" "As much as I'd love to visit I've already got plans that weekend." "What kind of plans? Can't you break them?" "Yeah I suppose I could, since he'd get a kick out of my story if I ever told him and he believed it... Look my friend Dan is kind of being dragged to a concert he doesn't want to go to, and I told I'm I'd go along to keep him company. I sort of owe him for something." "You have a friend finally? It's great to hear you're in better shape now then when we first met." "That's a bit of a cheap shot don't you think? Besides you're the own who likes to hang out with loners." "Yeah, I know. I was kidding JJ. So what concert is Dan being forced to go to that he's dragging you with him?" "Avril Lavigne." "That reminds me there's something I've been meaning to ask you. First I wanted to ask why you stopped writing and second why have you written more stories about her than me?" "To answer your first question I got complacent and had no real desire to write stories anymore, and actually I've been considering writing another story here recently though I haven't come up with any firm ideas. As for your second question, I've written one more story about her than I have you and if you add up the file sizes of her three stories compared to your two stories your stories are bigger." "And if you do the same math to the two Michelle Rodriguez stories your wrote they're bigger than my two stories." I started laughing as I listened to Kirsten talk. "What's so funny?" "Look Kirsten," I began still chuckling "No matter how many stories or how long a story I write about another celeb, you'll always be number one in my book and the only one I oogle and drool all over myself in complete fanboydom. Feel better?" "I'm not worried about a thing. We both know there are too many other guys out for me that'd love to be in your position for me to worry about your feelings. But I'll tell you what, I just got an idea for something that I want to do, so you go the Avril Lavigne concert with your friend and I'll call you back later ok?" "Sure. When do you plan on calling back? I want to know just so I make sure not to make plans with Avril or Michelle and make you unnecessarily jealous." "I'll call you a day or two after the concert, and if by some miracle you can get into Avril's pant I'll admit to the god that you are and do your personal bidding." Kirsten and I both laughed at the absurdness our conversation had just taken and when we calmed down we said our good-byes and hung up the phone. I could bore you with the details of the week and a half leading up to Kirsten's phone call, but there's not much to say really. It was the same go to work at eight come home at five and have an hour for lunch from eleven thirty to twelve thirty. Not that I was a sourpuss or anything, but people at work had noticed that my mood had changed and that I was a bit more cheerful than usual for lack of a better word. Anyways, like I said the days leading up to that weekend went by pretty normally. It was on Friday August 10th that things got decidedly a little nutty. It was almost 10 that night when I found myself inside of a Taco Bell eating a couple of Frito Burritos. Yes it's the same Taco Bell that Sara and I had the fight in nine months and since I know you're wondering about it they did get their drive-thru menu fixed. The place was more or less deserted which wasn't that unusual. The handful of times I had been in the restaurant on a Friday it was about half-and-half as to whether or not it was crowded. This particular night I had eaten a large lunch earlier in the day so I wasn't hungry until about 9:45. I'm not sure why I chose Taco Bell to eat at, but from what I've learned from life all my great adventures start there. I ran into a few people I knew and exchanged some words with them and I had taken my time eating so with time closing in on 10:25 I got up and refilled my Pepsi one last time before I ate the last half of my burrito. With one bite to go I took a swig of my soda and tossed the last bit of food into my mouth chewing and swallowing it. I tossed my garbage onto the brown plastic tray and walked to one of the trashcans. I dumped everything into it and set the tray on top of it. I made a stop in the bathroom to empty my bladder. I washed my hands and once they were dry I removed my carkeys from my pocket and I started to the outside of the restaurant. As I turned the corner from the restroom hallway to the doubledoors leading outside I bumped into a female. "Hey watch it!" She shouted at me. "Sorry," I replied too caught up in my thoughts about tomorrow to look back at who I was apologizing to. I pushed the unlock button on my car remote as I got closer to my red Ford Taurus. The roof lights turned on and I could hear my door locks click as they shot up. I opened the door and was in the process of getting in when the Taco Bell doors swung open and someone came running out. "Hey! Wait a minute! Don't leave yet!" It sounded like the same woman I bumped into on my way out. I sat in my car waiting for the woman to start bitching up a storm. "Look I'm sorry for running into you. I've got a few things on my mind at the moment," I started as I got up. I stopped when I saw who my hit and run victim was. "By the look on your face our introductions just got done a little faster. Are you JJ?" "Depends." "Did you ever write any stories as turc443?" I answered with silence. "Looks like I have myself a winner." "You know what? I'm not even going to bother trying to figure out anything anymore," I replied as I held my car keys in my hand and leaned over the car door. "So what can I do you for Ms. Lavigne?" "This." Avril reached back and bitch slapped me across the face. "Jesus Christ!" I grunted dropping my keys to the ground my left hand immediately racing to my face to rub it. I bent over to pick up my keys and Avril's foot stepped on my hand. "Uh uh." She said pressuring my hand. She lifted her foot up enough to kick away my hand and picked up my keys herself. "Right about now a normal person would ask what was going on, but I'm not going to because I know I'll get an answer akin to some really bad story." "Not that you deserve one, but there's your answer." "What answer? Since you already think so highly of me pretend that I'm a complete moron if you already don't think I am and explain it to me." "The bad stories. Despite what you may have heard from time to time your sex stories on CSSA suck. They're poorly written with storylines reminiscent of what a horny thirteen year old would come up with." "I-- Ah fuck, forget it. Don't you have a concert to do tomorrow? Aren't your people keeping tabs of you 24/7 or something?" "Fuck them and fuck you too." "If only." "Don't start. Get in the car." "How the hell did you find me anyways?" I asked as my car sped out of the parking lot. Avril was behind the wheel and I was in the passenger seat. She drove in silence so I asked another question. "Well then can you at least tell me where we are going?" "Back to your place. We've got things to do." "We do? Do you know where you're going?" "Yes, now shut up." "Fine whatever." We drove in silence as we traveled the ten minutes from the Taco Bell to my apartment. The car was parked in the street where it normally was and Avril and I got out. "Ok, we're here. Can you tell me now what the hell is going on?" "We wait now." "Wait? For what?" "The others." "What others?" "Let's get inside." "Not until you tell me what the hell is going on." "Unless you want what happened in "Late Shift" to really happen minus the sex then shut up and do as I say." "So I'm going to get to bone you then? If that's the case can you do me a favor? It's more of a challenge than a bet, but I need your panties to prove to a friend what a god I am." Avril walked around the car to my side and stood next to me rubbing her body against mine. "Sure you're going to get to fuck me good and hard and I'll even let you have my panties, but first can you do me a favor?" "Sure, what is it?" I fell to the ground like a rock as Avril's fist crashed into my crotch. "Get inside," Avril replied leaving me on the ground as she walked towards the apartment complex. "You big pussy. Are you going to come or do I have to come get you?" "I'm coming," I stammered as I struggled to my feet my groin still aching. I led Avril to my apartment and nearly fell flat on my face as she pushed me in. I regained my balance and walked to kitchen getting a Bud Light from the fridge. "I suppose I should be courteous and ask if you want anything to drink?" I said sarcastically. I turned in time to see the bathroom door slam shut. "Whatever," I mumbled setting my beer down on the counter. I sat down on the couch and flipped the tv to Sports Center to check baseball scores. Sure enough the curses on the Cubbies and the Red Sox live on. They both lost again today and are the cellar dwellers of their respective divisions. The real surprises and destroyers of fantasy leagues everywhere were the Tampa Bay Devil Rays who currently sat in first place of their division four games ahead of the Yankees. Baseball and fantasy leagues weren't my real concerns right now. Not that Avril was a huge concern either, since in a life or death struggle I'm pretty sure I could hold my own against her, but the wait for "the others" was a bit of a curiosity factor since Avril mentioned "Late Shift" and this pseudo-kidnapping was somewhat reminiscent of that story. Anyways, as I watched tv and didn't pay much attention to anything I didn't hear Avril leave the bathroom or sit down next to me. "Hey," She said poking me with her elbow. "Can I help you?" "Do you want to make out until the others get here?" "Do what?" I asked turning and facing her more surprised by her sudden mood change and less by the offer. "I said do you want to make out until the others get here?" "Let me think about it... Um, no." "No? Are you serious?" "Hmm... Let's see... There was a bitch slap, then some cussing, then a kidnapping, then a punch to the groin, then more cussing, and you won't tell me what's going on so yeah I'm serious." "Let's see how serious you are then," Avril challenged me her hand resting on my thigh her fingers inching closer and closer to my crotch. I couldn't help, but smile as my inevitable erection rose. Avril unfastened my pants and I lifted my butt up enough so she could pull my pants and underwear down. My erect penis popped out of its confinement and swayed from side to side a little bit. "You're not too serious about saying no I see," Avril replied hinting at her impending victory. "Don't flatter yourself hon. Anyone who doesn't get an erection from a hot 18-year-old feeling him up is either dead or impotent. I'll tell you this though, you're not going to get me to come short of riding my cock and I'm not going to let you have that pleasure." "We'll see," Avril smiled sure of herself as she removed her shoes and socks. All she had left on was the trademark white tanktop she wore with the black bra you could easily see she was wearing underneath it and an old beat up pair of camouflage pants. This wasn't a incredibly sexy look by any means unless you were into the "punk" image, but the one sexy thing she could do even though she didn't have the curves of a Jessica Alba or Jennifer Lopez was shake her ass and it looked good even in a big baggy pair of pants. With her hands above her head and her body shaking Avril started to get dirty for me. I smiled as I watched her body shimmy and bounce and she returned the smile when our eyes made contact. Avril knew exactly what she was doing and perhaps I had overestimated myself. Maybe, she wouldn't even have to touch me to get me to come. We were fixing to find out. Avril dropped her pants and stepped out of them. She sucked on her right index finger and slid it down her belly into her panties. Avril's mouth opened wide and her eyes shut as she moaned pretending to finger herself. Her right hand slowly found it's way down inside of panties as well and Avril's moans got louder as she began to rub both hands up and down between her legs. "You are good Avril," I said as I unconsciously began to stroke myself. "I know," She whispered back blowing me a kiss before stripping off her shirt and tossing it in my direction. "It's your panties I need to prove I'm a god," I smiled feeling good. "We'll get to those in a minute," Avril cooed walking towards me. She climbed onto the couch straddling my lap with my cock pressed up against her abdomen. "I might ended up giving you the satisfaction of getting me off," I began as Avril lifted my shirt over my head and off my arms, "And if I am then let's do it in the comfort of my bedroom. "No, the couch will be just fine." Avril said pressing her lips to mine. As our tongues intertwined and she ran her fingers through my hair my cock throbbed and I so wanted to lift her up right then and there, rip her panties off, and give her a good fucking even if that meant standing up and holding her as her pussy bounced up and down on my prick. Our lips parted and a gleam appeared in her eye as if sensing my urges. Avril reached behind her and unclasped her bra. Her breasts swelled to life as they were freed from their cotton container. She stood up on the couch and with her crotch in my face Avril dropped her panties. "Don't lose these," She said as I removed them from her feet and tossed them next to my shirt on the floor. "I won't," I replied mumbling softly. Having her pussy completely shaven didn't do much add to my attraction to her, but never the less having Avril grind and shake it in my face helped my cock get a little bit closer to erupting. Then a different urge took over me. Grabbing Avril by her buttocks I darted my tongue into her pussy spreading the lips apart. She moaned as I worked my tongue up and down her slit and her right hand slid down back between her legs. I slowly worked two fingers into her pussy as I continue to run my tongue over her cuntal lips. As I pressed my fingers in deep I pushed Avril's hand away before she could start anything. Avril's moans got louder and more passionate as I worked my fingers into a steady motion and my thumb rubbed over her clit exciting it just the right way. I could feel my shaft ache and my cockhead yearn for release as I continued to work over the Canadian popstar's pussy with my fingers and tongue. "Oh shit! You're supposed to come first!" Avril groaned as her body neared closer and closer to orgasm. "Not me Avril! Not me!" I grunted back as I continued to passionately finger fuck her and wet her pussy lips with my tongue. "Oh god! Not now! Not now!" Avril cried desperately fighting the urge to orgasm. Then for some unknown reason I reached behind her and slapped her ass. "Mmph! I'm coming! Oooooooh yeees!" Avril squealed as she shook with orgasm. She wasn't a gusher by any means, but she did excrete enough girl cum that it covered my fingers and some even managed to find it's way onto my face. I pulled my fingers from her snatch and when she finally seemed to be calm Avril climbed down off the couch. "You mind if I have this?" Avril asked as she walked into my kitchen. "Have what?" I asked turning to face her. "You're Bud Light. It's not even opened yet." "Damn I must have forgotten about it. Sure go ahead." Avril popped open the beer and I walked to the bathroom where I proceeded to wash my hands and face clean of her juice. I walked back into the living room and put on my underwear with the intention of redressing. "What're you doing?" Avril asked. "Uh, getting dressed?" "You can't until she gets here." "She? What happened to 'the others'?" "They're are two others including M who should be dropping by anytime now. K you'll get to meet later if she wants you to." "Just so you know I hated Men In Black, so stop with the single letter references please." "I can't explain now. You'll just have to wait for M to arrive." "Again I say whatever, but what the hell happened to your mood swings. You were threatening all hell on me not too long ago and now you're like sexbeast 2020 or something." "Sexbeast 2020? What the hell does that mean? Besides we really didn't even have sex, you just fingered me." "I don't know what sexbeast 2020 means. It's just something I thought of off the top of my head, but it doesn't matter because you came." "I can orgasm a dozen times in an hour if I wanted to. It's not that big of a deal, sorry. But as far as answering your question again I refer you to 'Late Shift'. I'm not as extreme as that, but you do pass your first test." "Test? What're you talking about?" I asked as the doorbell rang. "There's the second part." "One or a dozen times it doesn't matter. You came and I didn't. So I win," I said smugly putting on my pants. The doorbell rang again and as I went to answer it I noticed Avril still hadn't put anything on as she sat on my couch drinking the beer and watching tv. "You going to get dressed?" "I don't think so." "Why not?" "It'll be a waste of time. You shouldn't have put your pants." The doorbell rang again. "Just get the door will you?" A half-smile covered my face and I just shook my head in disbelief as I opened the door. "You must be the great M," I said inviting Michelle Rodriguez in. "Let me guess, Avril is A?" "You're a smart guy JJ," Michelle replied as she walked in closing the door behind her. "I'm sure by now you can guess who K is." "I'm pretty sure I can." "Hey Michelle, it's about time you showed up. There's beer in the fridge. It's only Bud Light, but it's better than nothing." I started to open my mouth to protest, but I thought better of it. "I see you two have already gotten started," Michelle said. "Gotten started with what?" "You're without a shirt which is on the floor with Avril's panties laying next to it. At least I assume they're her panties. You don't wear women's clothing do you? Not that there's anything wrong with it." "Uh, no. I wear tighty whiteys, Fruit of The Loom to be exact though I think they just call themselves FTL now." "Okay, and speaking of underwear I'm pretty sure you put them and your pants back on when I rang the doorbell, which Avril might have told you is a waste of time. None of that really matters though since she's sitting on the couch buck naked watching tv and drinking beer." "It's hot in here," Avril shouted from the couch, "besides there wasn't any penetration so we didn't do anything." "No sex huh? I would've figured you would have jumped on the chance when she offered." "Perhaps I would have if she hadn't punch me in the nads earlier. Anyway she was all high and mighty in saying she could get me to come, but all it took for her was a few fingers and some tongue." "I can orgasm a dozen times in an hour if I wanted to," Avril and I said at the same time. "I know that, but you did and I didn't and I still win regardless." "I'd like to see you do it again," Avril said almost like a challenge as she got up from the couch and threw away her empty beer bottle. "Yah, bring it on ya hoser," I replied in my crappiest stereotypical Canadian accent. "Maybe we could play some Alanis Morissette or Barenaked Ladies as we did it. Oh oh! What about some Bryan Adams?" "You think that's funny? That's about as ignorant and stupid I've heard anyone get," Avril glared her face suddenly turning serious. I couldn't help, but laugh as this tiny 18-year-old stood nude in front of me looking all pissed off. "Ok, ok, let's calm down kids. Kirsten was right about you JJ. You certainly do know how to push people's buttons when you want. Do you have any playing cards? I bought some when I landed, but I left them in my hotel room." "Yeah I do, just a sec." I walked back into the kitchen grabbing another beer from the fridge, then I opened up a junk drawer of sorts that I kept all sorts of miscellaneous crap in and took out one of my decks of cards. "What do you need these for?" I asked. "JJ put your shirt on and Avril get dressed and let's set down at the table." I tossed the box of cards onto the table and grabbed my shirt off the floor putting it back on. "You can have these back if you earn them," Avril said as I tossed her her panties and she put them on. "At this point I don't think I'll need them," I replied. Once everyone was dressed the three of us sat down at the table each taking a different side. Avril leaned over and whispered something in Michelle's ear and she returned the favor. They both giggled to themselves and it didn't take a genius to figure out what was happening. "Now before we begin and anyone says anything," I started as I took a couple of large drinks of my Bud Light, "Can either of you tell me what is going on or do I have to pretend to be ignorant and wait until I talk to Kirsten, I mean K, again?" "Did you really punch him in the crotch? Oh and by the way JJ, nads is such a third grade term." "Yes I did," Avril replied shrugging her shoulders like she didn't mean it. "Damn, that must have hurt." "Yeah it kind of did," I replied sarcastically. "Don't be an ass," Michelle said shooting me a look. "Let's give you a set of balls and have someone punch them. Then let's see how great you feel afterwards." "Look JJ, I'm sorry for punching you in the crotch and I'm sorry for bitch slapping you at Taco Bell, but Kirsten told me how you were sometimes and I figured it'd be the quickest way to get us back here." "Damn girl, you bitch-slapped him too? I should have come down her myself and taken care of things. You didn't treat Joe this badly did you?" "Joe?" "Before we say anything you've got to swear you won't let Kirsten know we told you any of this. She's got this big surprise or something planned out. Tomorrow's your birthday isn't it?" Avril began. "Yeah." "I don't know what Avril's said to you tonight, but you're familiar with a site called CSSA aren't you?" "Yeah." "I was in New York last week and ran into Kirsten at the MTV studios. She basically said she had a good friend of hers who had a birthday coming up and she wanted me to do her favor. I wasn't too keen on the idea, but she went on and on about how great you were how life had been little rough and all that so I agreed to at least give it some thought. I thought I was crazy for doing so, but if Kirsten was giving you the ok then how bad could you be I thought. That and her story of your weekend together helped nudge me towards yes." "So how does Avril fit into all of this and who's Joe?" "Do you know who voodoojoe is?" Avril asked. "Yeah, he's an author at CSSA. I've read most of his stuff." "Well, I was playing a show in Portland awhile back and I meet him after the show. To make a long story short let's just say we had a good time and now I working to get something with me, him, and Elisha Cuthbert worked out. It's just a matter of finding some time when all three of us are free." "Ah yes, I've read that story and needless to say I know he'd appreciate it very much, but how does any of that work into tonight?" I asked as Michelle's cell phone rang and she answered it. "Basically Kirsten called me after Joe's story was posted, and seeing that I had the same pleasant experience with him that she did with you she asked me to talk to Michelle figuring that hearing about one more good experience was all that she needed to hear which was true." "So where's Kirsten then?" "That was her just now," Michelle said as she hung up her phone. "And?" I asked. "Something's come up and she can't make it this weekend let alone tonight." "So what now? This whole thing was put together by her," Avril replied. Michelle and Avril scooted their chairs in close to each other and started whispering to each other. I shook my head just a bit as I only imagined what they were talking about. I finished down the last of my beer and threw the bottle away before heading towards the bathroom. "While you two talk, I'm going to use the bathroom," I said before closing the door behind me. I looked at the clock in the bathroom as I finished my business and washed my hands. I hadn't done much tonight, but it was almost midnight already. I dried my hands and stepped out of the bathroom. Avril looked up from where she sat on the couch and got up when she saw me. "Look, about tonight JJ... I'm sorry about getting a little rough and treating you the way I did." "Don't worry about it, it's water under the bridge," I replied. "Good then. Michelle and I discussed it for a bit while you were in the bathroom and we have something we want to say," Avril said smiling pulling me by my hands towards the bedroom. "And that is?" I asked as the two of us entered my bedroom. I smiled broadly as Michelle sat on my bed with her legs crossed leaning back on her arms wearing nothing but her panties and bra. "When she called awhile ago Kirsten apologized for not making it here," Michelle began, "and she even went so far as to say that Avril and I could leave if we wanted since she's the one who put this together." "And you two stayed because?" "Well," Avril said as she squatted down in front of me unbuttoning my pants and pulling them down. "I'm going to be in town tomorrow anyways since I've got a show to do, and Michelle was already here so why not make the most of it. It's unfortunate that Kirsten isn't here, but we'll survive on our own don't you think?" "I think we can," I smiled as I stepped from my clothing and dropped my shirt to the floor. As Avril stripped off her clothing I walked towards the bed eyeing Michelle. Our faces exchanged lustful stares as she removed her bra and I slid her panties down her legs. Michelle's and my lips met and my hands found their way down to her breasts. She moaned as I started squeeze and fondle them in my hands. Michelle groaned again as I flicked my tongue across her nipples. Suddenly I could feel breathing on my balls and I looked back as Avril started to lick Michelle's pussy. I nodded towards Michelle's face and Avril smiled and winked at me as she got up and climbed onto the bed. With Avril now thrusting her twat into Michelle's face I took her place between Michelle's legs. I slid my tongue up and down Michelle's slit occasionally running my thumb over her clit to excite her more. Michelle moaned with each pass of my thumb and Avril was feeling the effects of her pleasure. Avril began to grunt softly as Michelle inserted two fingers into her cunt. I thought about sliding my fingers into Michelle but decided on something else. Standing up I pulled Michelle's legs apart and slowly worked my cock into her pussy. She began to moan again as I pushed in and out of her folds and her fingers shot into a new frenzy as she excitedly pressed them into Avril's privates. One hand on Michelle's leg I reached around Avril with my free one and fondled her left breast. I continued to thrust my prick hard into Michelle's snatch and my hand that was on Avril's chest slipped when Michelle's body suddenly bucked. I pulled out as I felt her cum start to slowly leak out. I didn't want to come just yet. I switched places with Michelle and laid down on my back. She straddled my face and as I started to lick the cream from her vagina my body bucked just a bit when Avril wrapped her lips around the base of my cock. I felt her lips slowly rise up and down on my shaft applying the slightest of pressure. The excitement Avril gave me caused me to give that much back to Michelle. Not that eating her pussy out wasn't enough for me, but squeezing and holding Michelle's ass in my hands gave me the ultimate thrill. I've been a butt person all of my life and it was always my favorite part of the female body to look at. My balls started to hurt and I was really starting to want to come as Avril's lips were replaced by her pussy and my cock dove deep down into her warm wet darkness. Avril started to ride me hard grinding her hips into my crotch. I nearly lost myself as she knocked my hands out of the way and Michelle groaned loudly. Avril had spread Michelle's ass apart and was now dipping her tongue into her asshole lubing it up with her saliva. "Oh god Avril! Lick my asshole!" Michelle cried. "Ooooooooh myyyy!" As my cock continued to split Avril's cuntal lips apart as she bounced up and down on me I couldn't help but reserve myself to orgasm as my body neared the final stages of it's excitement. Then just as suddenly as it happened on the couch Avril orgasmed on the bed. "Not again!" Avril whined as she sat on my dick her cream exiting her body covering my dick. "My asshole, some please eat out my ass!" Michelle begged as Avril got off me and stood up on the floor. "I'll do you one better Michelle," I said as lifted her leg up enough for me to crawl out from beneath her. "You just have to do one thing for me, eat out Avril's ass while I give you what you want." "Anything... Just give it to me..." Michelle whispered breathlessly. Avril was the first to crawl to her knees on her bed and before Michelle could even get to work on her she was already sliding her fingers in and out of her lovehole. Damn Avril was one horny gal when she got into the mood. Michelle followed behind Avril getting on all fours. My cock throbbed as I watched Michelle's tongue dive into the Canadian's ass. Avril moaned and continued to finger herself as the tongue slid up and down her ass crack pushing lightly inside. "JJ my ass... Please you promised me..." Michelle pleaded as she started to get restless. "Patience Michelle. It's coming," I said as I rubbed my hands up and down both sides of her ass. With Avril's cum still covering my prick I was more than lubed up enough as I pressed the tip of my cock to Michelle's anus. "Oh my... It-- Ooooooooh my god!" Michelle groaned loudly as my dick slowly pushed inside her ass. "A girl who likes a little anal I see," I said as I slowly withdrew from Michelle's rear. "Not too different than Kirsten. You like it in the ass don't you Michelle? When you're alone you stick your sex toys into your butt don't you?" "I love sticking things in my ass! Slam your cock back into it! Please!" She begged. "Anything for you Michelle, but only if you do one more thing for me." "What is it? Name it..." "Get Avril to let you finger her ass." "Can I Avril? Please?" "Yes Michelle, just stop teasing my asshole like you are. Give it your full attention or let me be. I can't take too much teasing." Avril grunted and groaned as she continued to thrust her fingers in and out of her snatch. Michelle licked her right index finger up and down several times and as it moved towards Avril's sphincter I gave Michelle's back end a pop. Michelle squealed with delight and excitedly punctured her finger into Avril's sphincter as she felt me fill up her own. Here I was pushing my dick in and out of Michelle Rodriguez' ass as she slipped her finger into Avril Lavigne's ass. As my pace steadily increased so did that of Michelle's fingering and the girls' moans got increasingly louder. My thoughts raced back to nine months ago to my first and only meeting with Kirsten. Now as I thrust my cock in and out of Michelle's anus I was reminded of the time I had anal sex with Kirsten after she suggested it. Short of killing someone Kirsten would always come first in my book, but the pleasure I got from anally penetrating Michelle was almost as great as it was with Kirsten. I don't know, there was just something more I got from it than from regular vaginal sex. Either way, I got caught up in my own impending orgasm. The more my dick ached and throbbed yearning for release the harder I pounded Michelle's ass and the more I tore into her ass the more I wanted to come. Then as I pushed into Michelle's backside one more time I lost control and I grunted loudly. I wasn't sure if I said anything or made random noises, but that didn't matter as my cock burst open firing shot after shot of my hot white jism into her bowels After I emptied my rounds I fell to my side on the already crowded bed. Presumably nearing her own orgasm Michelle began to furiously dig and push her finger into Avril's sphincter. With her head on one of her arms on the bed and the other arm pushing her fingers in and out of her cunt, Avril's moaning and screaming became intense and loud. Just as Michelle was about to pull out her finger Avril's ass tightened down on it. "Coming... again... oh God..." Avril screamed as orgasm rocked her body for the third time of the night. She pulled her fingers from her snatch and when Michelle's finger was loose enough to pull out Avril turned onto her back and laid on the bed. We both watched Michelle as she remained on all fours and started to finger her pussy. Avril kissed her on the lips slipping her tongue into Michelle's mouth. When their heads pulled apart Avril brought her cum soaked fingers to Michelle's mouth and slipped them between her lips. Worn but not exhausted I smiled as Michelle happily sucked on Avril's fingers, then I got an idea to finish Michelle off. As Avril slid her fingers from Michelle's mouth I notice that Michelle's asshole was still pulsing and enlarged. I quickly dabbed my index and middle finger inside twisting them around. Michelle moaned as she orgasmed a second time. She became quite the gusher the second time around and not that I wasn't going to, but the mess she made this time confirmed a need to wash these bedsheets. The three of us just laid quietly on the bed for a bit as we recomposed ourselves. Avril was the first to get up. "I should be getting back to the hotel and getting some sleep before my show today. You might if I take a quick shower JJ?" "Not at all. Towels are in the bathroom." "Thanks." As Avril showered Michelle and I sat up on the bed and talked. "When she gets done in there I'm going to take a quick one too. I'm going to drive her back to the hotel since we're both staying at the same one." "Didn't she leave her car at the Taco Bell?" "Nah, she took a cab to it." "How did she know to find me there anyways?" "Kirsten gave us a list of a few places to look if you weren't home and I guess that's what she did. I was stuck in Florida and didn't arrive her until literally half an hour before I came to your apartment." "So what's to be made of all this?" I asked. "Nothing really. Avril's done this before and came here tonight as a favor to Kirsten. As for me I'm not sure what to make of this myself. I'll just use the same generic reason that Kirsten probably did and say that even us celebrities have our wild sides we like to walk on from time to time." "I'm done. You going to shower Michelle?" Avril asked stepping from the bathroom. "Yeah I am." As Michelle walked into the bathroom to take her turn Avril picked her clothes up off the floor and sat down next to me after dressing. "I know I've already said this before, but I'm sorry about the way I acted earlier tonight JJ." "Look, don't worry about it. It's no big deal. I was wondering about something though. I know about your encounter with voodoojoe and I know you're familiar with Kirsten's and my encounter, which is part of the reason why you showed up tonight, but why meet up with another author from CSSA? Why do it again?" "Because you wrote the first two stories about me that got published on the site." "And that's it?" "Yeah that's it, but I was wondering about something myself. Why did you quit writing and have all your stories marked as Anonymous?" "Mostly because I lost my desire to write for quite awhile. I just didn't feel like it anymore and I had decided to leave the site for about the five millionth time. Actually though, a couple of weeks ago before Kirsten called I had thought about writing again. "You know tonight would make a real easy story to write." "I know but I haven't decided if I wanted to do that or come up with something original." "Well whatever you decide, let me know," Avril said taking a pen and old credit card receipt from my chester drawers and writing on the back of the paper. "Here's my e-mail address. This is my own personal one I check and not the fanclub one everyone sends mail to. If this finds it's way on the internet I'll come back and really will pull a 'Late Shift' on you minus the sex." "You know you were absolutely adorable just now when tried to threaten me. Don't worry thought, I'm not that big of a dumbass." "I didn't say you were," Avril smiled pecking me on the cheek. "You ready to go?" Michelle asked exiting the bathroom. "Ready whenever you are," Avril replied. "Ok give me a few minutes to dress and we'll go." "Hey look before we go from what Kirsten told me you were being dragged to my concert to tonight by one of your friends right?" "Yeah his girlfriend wants to go pretty bad and he doesn't. I rarely go to any concerts so I wasn't planning on going, but since he bought the ticket for me and the first two beers I figured why not." "Well you can impress him tonight when you show up at will call and pick up three front row tickets ok?" "Sure thing. Thanks." "And Happy Birthday JJ," Avril said smiling as she kissed me on the cheek again. "Happy Birthday and take care of yourself," Michelle smiled following Avril's lead kissing me on the cheek as well. We exchanged good-byes and after Michelle and Avril left my apartment I ducked into the shower for a quick shower before heading off to sleep at almost 1 a.m. Not surprisingly Dan was indeed thoroughly impressed at my ability to obtain front row seats. Jennifer nearly blew a gasket when she saw how close we were to the stage. They bugged me all night about where I got the tickets and all I could tell them was "I know people." As for the concert itself it was fairly good. Like I told Avril I rarely go to concerts so I had nothing to judge it against, but all in all it was a fairly pleasant experience save for the twelve year olds screaming their heads off at every word Avril had to say and singing along to every song. The highlight of the show though was when Avril finished introducing her band after playing "Nobody's Fool" and thanked her good friend "Jay" for helping her to stay relaxed and down to earth during the tour. I smiled to myself as she looked in my direction as she gave the thanks. The next day I woke up like around 9:30 like I usually do and checked my answering machine just in case. The day passed by slowly as I eagerly waited for Kirsten's phone call. I ended up taking Avril's advice and using the events of the weekend to base my "comeback" story around. The story ended up coming out quite easily and I spent a couple of hours working on it before I realized it was almost ten o'clock. There were a few questions I would have liked to have asked, but Kirsten still hadn't called yet. She was a celebrity after all and it just wasn't meant to be this time. So accepting the fact that she wasn't going to call I brushed my teeth and went to be early. There was a major order that was going to be coming through at work and would take a couple of days to completely process so I was going to be going in early until it was finished. I rarely ever get to sleep early when I try to, but this time I fell asleep relatively quickly. A few hours later the incessant ringing of my phone wakened me. I dragged myself from bed and stumbled in the dark as I tried to navigate my apartment half-asleep in the pitch-black. I found the lightswitch on the wall by mistake and flipped on the light. I made it to the kitchen from there with relative ease and took my cordless off its stand. "This better be good. It's almost three in the morning," I mumbled still very much asleep barely able to make out the time off a clock. "Hey JJ it's me." "Hey Kirsten what's up? What happened to you this weekend?" "This weekend?" "Yeah with Michelle and Avril." "I'm not following. What about them?" "After you called late Friday night and said you weren't coming in they explained what was going on." "Damn it! They're weren't supposed to say a thing!" Kirsten grumbled. "I kept pestering them about everything and you know how I can get." "Yes, but still I had this all worked out and it would have worked a lot better if they hadn't said a thing." "One way or the other, it doesn't matter to me. I would just have happily spent this weekend with only you. You didn't need to talk Michelle and Avril into coming down here, but a definite thank you none the less. You do realize of course that Avril will still have more stories than you and so will Michelle now." "Can you take some time off in a couple of weeks?" "I can take time off whenever, I just need at least a week in advance. They get pretty anal retentive about that sort of thing." "Good then. Don't worry about the number of stories. It doesn't matter. Anyay, I don't want to get into detail and bore you to death with what happened, but basically there was a big fight between my agent and publicist and both threatened to quit if the other stayed so I had to play referee and calm things down. Things still aren't peachy, but they're ok for now. Anyway, since I missed your birthday I want to make it up for you. On the weekend of August 31 I want you to take that Friday through Monday off. That's the 31st of August to the 3rd of September. Does that sound ok?" "Yeah that shouldn't be a problem at all." "Good, I'm looking forward to that weekend then. I'll call you about a week before ok? You won't be disappointed." "I'm looking forward to that weekend too, and there's very little you can do to disappoint me." "You're way too easy on me JJ." "As you are on me." "Well, I'm gonna go then so you can get back to sleep. Talk to you later." Kirsten made a kissing sound over the phone. "Talk to you later then." "Bye," we said in unison before hanging up the phone. This friends is where I'll end this part of the story. For those of you who made it all the way through congratulations. Take this story for what you will and later on when you read the last half of this tale remember this all happened because of a little site called CSSA that now hosts over 2800 stories. Until then I bid you all a fond farewell and point you to the site for other great stories mostly ones better written than this. <Lower red curtain and cue "P.I.M.P." by 50 Cent> To be concluded in my third and final venture into the CSSA universe and my apologies to a certain Joe if they didn't like being referenced to in my story.