Tween Magazine: What Kind of Shoe Are You (no sex, humor)

by this guy (thisguy.1066@gmail.com)

Summary: A satire of the sort of reader's quiz one finds in magazines...


What Kind of Shoe Are You? 
A Reader's Quiz

I wear socks...
	Everyday						       0 points	
	Whenever I go outside					        1 point
	To School							2 points
	If my parents make me					        3 points
	For gym at school						4 points
	When the weather is cold					5 points
	Never								6 points

How many different pairs of shoes do you wear regularly?
	Only one							0 points
	Two or three							1 point
	Four or five							2 points
	Six or seven							3 points
	Eight or nine							4 points
	Ten or eleven							5 points
	Twelve or more						        6 points

How often do you wear shoes with high heels?
	I've never worn high heels					0 points
	Only once or twice						1 point
	I only wear them on special occasions			        2 points
	Maybe once a month						3 points
	Once a week							4 points
	Two or more time a week					        5 points
	I wear high heels every day					6 points

The most important thing in a pair of winter boots is...
	How warm they are						0 points
	That they are waterproof					1 point
	Good traction on snow and ice				        2 points
	That they are comfy						3 points
	That they look cute						4 points
	Being able to wear them without socks			        5 points
	The heel is at least 3" tall					6 points

My favorite color for dressy shoes is:
	Brown								0 points
	White								1 point
	Black								2 points
	Blue								3 points
	Red								4 points
	Nude (or skin tone)						5 points
	Clear								6 points

If my parents tried to make me wear socks I would
	Wear them, and not argue					0 points
	Complain a bit then wear them 		 		        1 point
	Complain a lot then wear them				        2 points
	Argue, yell, and cry in hopes that they'd give up		3 points
	Put on socks at home, take them off when I go somewhere	        4 points
	Wear boots so no one could see I didn't have socks on	        5 points
	Throw-out all my socks: I can't wear that I don't have 	        6 points

What part of a dressy shoe should be open
	None of it							0 points
	The top and sides of the toe					1 point
        The inside of the arch						2 points
	The back of the heel						3 points
	The back of the heel plus the top and sides of the toe	        4 points
	The shank (under the arch of the foot)			        5 points
	Everything but what's under my toes and heel		        6 points

The sole of a flip-flop should be how thick?
	Less than 1/4 inch						0 points
	Between 1/4 inch and 1/2 inch				        1 point
	Between 1/2 inch and 1 inch					2 points
	Between 1 inch and 2 inches					3 points
	More than 2 inches						4 points
	The heel should be at least twice the thickness at the toe	5 points
	So long as the heel is at least 4 inches it doesn't matter	6 points

What is the highest heel highest you've ever worn?
	1 inch or less							0 points
	Between 1 and 2 inches					        1 point
	Between 2 and 3 inches					        2 points
	Between 3 and 4 inches					        3 points
	Between 4 and 5 inches					        4 points
	Between 5 and 6 inches					        5 points
	More than 6 inches						6 points

If you could get a pair of shoes made from any material, what material would you choose
	Canvas							       0 points	
	Rubber								1 point
	Sharkskin							2 points
	Natural leather							3 points
	Natural suede							4 points
	Alligator skin							5 points
	Silk 								6 points


Scoring:

Total number of points:		        You're...

0-9					A Penny Loafer
10-19					A Flip Flop
20-29					A Canvas Sneaker
30-39					An Ugg
40-49					A Crystal Slipper
50-59					An Open Toe, Open Heel Knee-boot
60					A Platform Toe, Eight Inch Stiletto