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 Tween Magazine: Comprehensive Thigh Gap Guide (no sex, humor)

   by this guy (thisguy.1066@gmail.com)

   Summary: Satire of guide to being extra skinny in a magazine geared
towards tweenage girls...



   Girls everywhere know that guys employ a one-to-ten hotness rating
system to describe the sort of girl they just met.  We are also aware of
the fact that guys also have similar one-to-ten rating systems for
different parts of a girl's anatomy: face, butt, boobs, etc.

   What many girls are unfortunately unaware of is that there is also a
one-to-ten rating system for thinness.  This rating system is entirely
based on a girl's thigh gap; or more precisely how wide the thigh gap is.
This rating system is essentially a simple ratio: measured dimension
between the thighs (taken at mid-thigh when standing bare-foot with ankles
touching) divided by standing height (when bare-foot, with heels on the
floor).

   If that ratio is less than 0.005 the girl's thigh gap is a "1"

   If the ratio is more than 0.005 but less than 0.010 the girl's thigh gap
is a "2"

   If the ratio is more than 0.010 but less than 0.015 the girl's thigh gap
is a "3"

   If the ratio is more than 0.015 but less than 0.020 the girl's thigh gap
is a "4"

   If the ratio is more than 0.020 but less than 0.025 the girl's thigh gap
is a "5"

   If the ratio is more than 0.025 but less than 0.030 the girl's thigh gap
is a "6"

   If the ratio is more than 0.030 but less than 0.035 the girl's thigh gap
is a "7"

   If the ratio is more than 0.035 but less than 0.040 the girl's thigh gap
is a "8"

   If the ratio is more than 0.040 but less than 0.045 the girl's thigh gap
is a "9"

   If the ratio is more than 0.045 girl's thigh gap is a "10"...  And if it
is substantially more than that: WOW!!!

   There are numerous specific exercise routines that will help to increase
the size of a girl's thigh gap; unfortunately many of them require a lot of
dedication and hard work.  The good news is that there are two simple
things that a girl can do without much effort that will help increase the
size of her thigh gap.

   Firstly; never sit or lay with your legs together: doing so increases
the overall size of the muscles on the inside of the thighs.  Instead, sit
and lay with your legs spread apart: your knees have to be at least
shoulder width apart for this to have any effect.  The wider apart your
knees are, the bigger your thigh gap will become.

   Secondly; remember that having a thigh gap is a sign of slimness, not
having one is a sign of being over-weight.  So make sure to not over-eat.
Dieting is a good way of making sure you don't get fat.  Employing a more
extreme diet (like the ABC Diet*) will help you get a bigger thigh gap in
no time.

   * Author's note: the "ABC Diet" is a real and very extreme diet,
although no one short of a full blown anorexic would actually consider
trying it.