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 Tween Magazine: Internet Safety (no sex, humor)

   by this guy (thisguy.1066@gmail.com)

   Summary: Satire of advice to stay safe online that might appear in a
magazine geared towards tweenage girls...



   Lately there's been a lot of discussion about staying safe online.  We
at Tween Magazine feel we are obligated to give tweenage girls the tools
they need to stay safe in all of their online activities.  The following
suggestions were compiled from many different sources and are agreed upon
by various members of the community.

   ---Be sure to post as much personal information about yourself on social
media (things like mIpage) as you can.  Doing so will prevent people from
thinking you are someone you're not.  Be sure to include your full name,
birthday, home address, phone number, the names and ages of all your
brothers and sisters, the names of your pets, the name of your school, your
favorite color, your hobbies, your vacation plans, as well as plenty of
photos showing you and your friends in places where you spend the most
time.

   Be sure to offer this information to anyone your meet online who asks
for it, that way they'll know you are who you claim to be.  Anyone who
won't give this information is likely pretending to be someone they're not.

   ---If someone asks for pictures of you, be sure to send them multiple
pictures.  If you refuse to send pictures people will assume you aren't who
you claim to be...or maybe that you are a guy pretending to be a girl.  By
sending multiple pictures, preferably from multiple angles and in different
clothes, you are verifying that you are a real girl.  Including a naked
picture will only serve to reinforce your gender.

   ---You can meet lots of great people online.  If you or they might want
to meet face-to-face, do so.  Make sure to meet in a location that is quiet
and private; that way you'll be able to easily converse with your new
friend.  If you meet someone who is older than you who has a car, remember
that it would be rude of you to not get in their car, particularly if the
offer you a ride somewhere.

   If the person you meet offers you something that is consumable (food,
beverage, a cigarette, etc.) remember that it would be just as rude to say
"no thanks" as it would to not consume it in front of that person.

   If the person wants to buy you something start out by saying that it's
not necessary; but if they persist, graciously accept the offer and offer
them something in return...such as modeling that new article of clothing
for them...

   Odd as it may seem, some guys like to have a physical reminder of girls
they met.  Frequently they want an article of clothing.  If a guy you just
met ask for something you are wearing, the best thing to do is ask "really
you want my..."; if it's something you'd have trouble returning home
without, offer something else you are wearing; if not give him what he
asked for and ask if he'll "cherish it always"

   And last but not least, remember that people's time is valuable; so
makes sure to thank the person for taking the time to meet you in person.