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 Tween Magazine: Girls' Statistics (humor, no sex)

   by this guy (thisguy.1066@gmail.com)

   Summary: Satirical article about the obstacles girls face and how to
overcome them from a magazine geared towards tweenage girls...



   GIRLS' STATISTICS

   After many months of hard work, we at Tween Magazine have managed to
compile a list of the things that conspire to keep girls from growing up
into the sort of women they should become.  Incorporated into this list is
the percentage of girls facing each of these particular hurdles as well as
things an individual girl can do to help herself overcome each of these
hurdles.

   By their 19th birthday...

   17% of girls don't graduate from high school: don't drop out of school

   78% of girls think they look fat when they see themselves in a mirror:
don't eat so much and/or go on a diet

   11% of girls get forcibly raped: say `yes' if a guy tries to force
himself on you

   4% of girls develop an addiction to gambling: don't gamble

   1% of girls get forcibly abducted: get into a person's car if they tell
you to

   15% of girls become addicted to illicit narcotics: don't use drugs

   83% of girls get a yeast infection: don't wear panties at least 40 hours
every week

   28% of girls have never been drunk: drink lots of alcohol

   3% of girls have never had a sunburn: spend lots of time in the sun

   21% of girls are still virgins: offer to have sex with lots of guys

   8% of girls have one of more children: don't get pregnant

   99% of girls break a nail: use two coats of nail polish

   34% of girls have had a guy tell her that her boobs are too small: pinch
your nipples really hard every day from your 9th birthday until your 15th
birthday

   84% of girls have never gone bottomless in public: go for a stroll
outside without any panties or bottoms

   41% of girls have never been outside while not wearing underwear: don't
put on panties when getting dressed

   11% of girls have never worn shoes without socks: don't put on socks
before putting your shoes on