Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Tween Magazine: Ad for CrystalClear Grain Alcohol (no sex, humor)

   by this guy (thisguy.1066@gmail.com)
Summary: Satirical magazine advertisement for bottled pure alcohol



   A full page ad...

   In front of a simple black backdrop stands a single capped clear glass
bottle which at first glance appears to be empty.  Upon closer inspection,
though, it becomes apparent that the bottle is full of a perfectly clear
liquid.

   Two things about the bottle are odd; it is about the same shape, and
appears to be about the same size, as a typical wine bottle; and the only
parts of the bottle that are not completely transparent are the red plastic
cap and red letters which seem to float on the glass...  "CrystalClear" in
large simple box letters cross the front of the bottle a little below its
neck.  It is obvious that there are more letters below, but they are too
small on the page in the magazine to be able to read.

   Across the bottom of the page in small white letters "CrystalClear is a
registered trademark of the Hairy Hangover Refinery; Barfin, Yellannoyed"
on the line below "100% pure grain alcohol: not labeled for human
consumption"