Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Society for the Endangerment of Minors, personals (humor)

   by this guy (thisguy.1066@gmail.com)

   Summary: Fictional personals from people looking for the special someone
who can share the enjoyment of endangering kids...
DEVIL-GIRL:
21 yo F in Sinsinati, willing to relocate for the right situation; seeks

man to father and hurt kids.  Smokers and drinkers okay, no gamblers
"Whenever I hear about kids being abused I smile" - permanent physical
abuse, overt physical abuse, subtle / temporary physical abuse, sexual
violence, dietary abuse
SmokerSam:
24yo F in Winstonville, won't relocate, seeks M to create smoke filled

home.  Smoking habit required, drinkers okay, no gamblers.  "I stated
smoking when I was 7, want my kids to start as young as possible" -
pre-natal harm, childhood addiction
InbredIan:
16 yo M in Paynesville, wants to relocate, seeks woman to start

incest-active family.  Smoking habit required, drinkers and gamblers okay.
"In a my perfect family I'm both father and grandfather to a number of
kids" - sexual abuse, pre-natal harm, childhood addiction
All-In-Al:
27 yo M in Abu-Jin*, can't relocate due to job, seeks woman (kids okay)

to provide kids to rape, molest, pimp, etc.  Gambling habit required,
smokers okay, no drinkers.  "When I'm at the tables, I go all-in all the
time.  Usually I win, but sometimes I lose; when I lose it would be great
to be able to offer them a kid to pay off that debt" - sexual violence,
sexual abuse
   * author's note: for those who are curious, a "jin" is an evil spirit