I had lived in the Philippines with my wife and daughter for five
years and loved every minute of it.  With my daughter now ten, we
decided to move back to the US in the spring after school so that my
daughter, Amy, could enjoy her teenage years in the culture of my
birthplace.  It was now March and my company was working on a huge
deal that would have given one Filipino company a Billion dollar
contract. Two other companies were bidding also.  There were very
tense negotiations and some hard feelings.  The other companies were
probably going to go out of business depending on how the deal broke.
On one meeting late into the evening, as one of the VPs left the
conference room, a body guard gave me a strange look and then said
something to the VP.  The VP nodded in approval.  I didn't think
anything of it the rest of the week.

The next monday, I saw my daughter off to school, kissed my lovely
wife and went on to work.  At about 10:00 AM, my wife called in a
frantic voice and said that my daughter had not shown up at school.
She was crying.  The driver was found dead and the vehicle had been
abandoned about two blocks from the school.  I rushed home and she was
calling the police. I grabbed the phone and said, "Don't do that yet."
My wife did not understand my hesitancy in calling them.  This was all
my fault.  I began to cry.  My wife looked at me strangely as I was
forced to admit that I had taken a bribe of nearly 250K to help swing
the deal in favor of a certain company.  She slapped me as I told her
that the deal was not going my way and that the other partners were
leaning toward the opposition.  There were only two companies left.
She just yelled at me and told me to get my company on the phone and
convince my coworkers to chose the Cintron Group.  She just didn't
understand.

The Cintron Group was headed by a reputable CEO, but it was just a
front for a Filipino mafia group.  I knew about it and my partners
suspected it.  I was wrong to get so close to them.  Now I was in with
the devil and there was no escape.  We were alone in this. If we
called the police, I would be arrested and we would have no chance of
getting Amy back. Angelina, my wife, was just sobbing screaming for
our daughter.

At about 6 PM, the phone rang and a voice said, "Check your front
porch so that you know we are serious."

I quickly opened the front door and saw a box.

Angelina asked, "What is it?"

"Nothing," I said.

I opened the box and fell to the floor in shock.  As Angelina rushed
in my direction, I gazed upon a child's finger on a bloodied bed of
cotton.  Angelina shrieked as she saw the orange fingernail polish
that my daughter liked.  We both just hugged each other on the floor.
When I dropped the box, a note fell out.  It said that if I ever
wanted to see my daughter alive, I would have to seal the upcoming
deal in their favor or barter for my daughters life.  They didn't want
the money back because the deal was worth millions to them. I had
already spent the money on our new house anyway back in the US. I did
not know where to turn.  The note said that I had 24 hours to comply
or she would die and to not even think about calling the police.  They
were to call me again.

I didn't know what to do.  Angelina was filled with growing hate for
me at what I had done to our family and despair for Amy.  She just
wanted me to call the police.  As the time passed and what had
happened sunk in, Angelina became increasingly hysterical.  She just
yelled at me into the night in between sobbing.  All I could do was
apologize.

"What are we going to do?"  she would ask me over and over again.

I didn't know, but I was going to get my daughter back no matter what
I had to do.  They had mentioned that we could barter to get my
daughter back, but I had nothing to give.  We had no money to speak
of, no jewels, nothing.  I was to blame for all of this and I realized
what I had to do to get her back.  My wife would never forgive me even
if Amy was harmed.  I would barter all right.  I would trade myself
for Amy if they would have me.  They could do whatever they wanted to
me as long as she was returned safely to my wife. Would I truly give
up my life for my daughter?  Any father would.  I couldn't bare the
thought of anything happening to her.  The question was, do I tell my
wife what my plans were or just do it?

I decided, in that instant, that when they called back, I would offer
them the deal.  I would not tell Angelina.  I would simply tell her
that I was going to get Amy back and bring her home and that I had
found a way to deal with these people.

I had all night and the next day to ponder my fate, but if this is
what I had to do to get Amy back, I was committed to do it.  I
couldn't imagine what they would do to me.  Would they shoot me, hang
me?  I began to sob in silence.

At around 6 PM, the phone rang and the person asked if I had done what
they asked.  I said no, but I had a deal for them.  They could have me
in place of my daughter if they would just let her go.  There was
silence on the phone.

Suddenly, the voice said, "Agreed."

I was to drive to a landfill outside of Manila and wait for a pickup
truck to take me to where they were keeping Amy.  I didn't dare tell
my wife of my plan which was certain to result in my death, but would
save my daughter.  I have always wanted to live a long life and my
fate frightened me to the point where I was shaking uncontrollably.

Angelina asked if I was OK.  All I could say was, "No, not at all, but
Amy will be home soon."

I kissed her one last time and hugged with for all I was worth.  I
left in the car and drove to the meeting point.  Once at the landfill,
I waited in my car for a short time.  A pick up drove up along side of
my car and the driver said to get out and take off my clothes.  I
seemed surprised and he pointed a gun at me.  I stripped down to my
shorts and then he said, "All the way."  I'd never been naked in front
of a man, but if it meant getting my daughter back, I would do it.
Even at this moment, the most trivial thing seemed important. This was
sure to be less of an ordeal than what they had planned for me.  We
drove for a short time, but I was blindfolded and couldn't tell which
direction or where we were going.  The car stopped and I was taken
into a building with an echo.  It was obviously a warehouse type of
building, but empty.  I heard my daughter cry out and for the first
time in 24 hours, I felt some relief.

The blindfold was taken off and I was allowed to see and touch my Amy.
 I was naked, but that didn't seem to matter to either of us.  I was
so relieved to hug and kiss her.  I held up her hand which had been
bandaged and asked if she was OK.  She just smiled and said yes.

"That's enough." A man shouted and I was pulled away from Amy.

I struggled as four men lashed me to a table.  It was stainless steel
with a lip and numerous tie down points.  There was a cushion under my
head and lights around.  There was a hole in each side for some kind
of drainage.  There was another identical table next to the first one.
 I screamed as someone gagged me.  I looked over at Amy and she was
being tied to a pole about 6 feet away from me.  She looked so scared
as they gagged her also.  Dear god, what did they plan to do?  I kept
hoping that this was all a bluff and that these people were not as
evil as I now realized they were.

A man in a white coat walked up to me and introduced himself as a Dr.
He said I would be given a drug that would anesthetize my body, but
allow me to remain conscious throughout the procedure.

I asked him in a terrified voice, "What procedure?"

"Why, your total dismemberment and bisection.  Don't worry, you won't
feel a thing and I am a skilled surgeon.  My assistants will careful
cauterize your blood vessels so that you will be alive and conscious
until we have finished.  This is the deal you have made to get your
daughter back unharmed."

I shrieked and struggled against the ropes. Amy screamed and tried to
get to me.  I begged them to just shoot me.  I couldn't bare the
thought of what they were about to do and forcing my daughter to watch
was beyond any conceivable cruelty.

An IV was started into my arm and I felt warm inside.  Within seconds,
I could not move my legs or arms. One of the assistants raised my head
with another pillow.  The Dr. said it was so I could see the
procedure.

"We are going to test you now for any pain."  said the Dr.

He opened a briefcase and laid out a dozen tools on a separate table.
There were scalpels, larger knives and a saw.  A machine was wheeled
over to me.  He explained that this was the cauterization machine that
would apply heat to my blood vessels and arteries as they worked.  He
didn't want me to bleed to death as that would defeat the purpose of
the procedure.  I was to be fully conscious at the end for a special
visitor.  I could not imagine what he meant.

My body no longer shook with fear since I was completely paralyzed
except for my eyes and breathing.  I could only look over at my
daughter and down at my body.  Amy was shivering and crying.  She
looked so sweet and innocent.  This was my punishment for what I had
done to her and my wife.  I deserved to die, but not like this.  This
couldn't be real.  They were not really going to take me apart piece
by piece.

All at once the Dr. place a scalpel against my belly and made a small
incision.  I flinched, expecting the worst, but felt nothing.

"That's fine", he said. "We are ready to start."

Two woman were working with him and he told them we would start with
the right foot.  I cried uncontrollably as he began to cut a circular
incision around my right shin.  There was no pain, but the thought of
being cut to peices before my eyes and then seeing it happen, made me
gag.  He was quick and as he worked, the nurses sealed the wound to
prevent bleeding.  He was down to the bone in no time and grabbed the
saw.  I couldn't watch my body being destroyed.  The sound and
vibration of the saw was horrible.  Within seconds, I watched my right
foot fall to the side and he picked it up for me to see.  I blacked
out as I heard Amy scream.

When I awoke, he was working on my left foot and it also was off.  He
place it next to my other foot on a table identical to the one I was
on.  He said that before I died, I would see virtually all of my body
on the other table.  He picked up my right arm and began to cut around
the bicep.  Again, I felt no pain, but could feel as he hit the bone
slicing through my soft skin and muscle.  He used the saw like a
butcher to cut through the bone.  The nurses raced to seal the blood
vessels.  The stainless table was now coated with a layer of my red
warm blood.  He placed the arm on the adjacent table and quickly moved
to take off my left arm.  I looked at Amy who was simply shivering and
crying.  I couldn't imagine the horror for her.  I prayed she would
block it out someday.

I looked down at my body with no arms or feet.  I looked like a
corpse.  It was finally setting in that I would be dead soon. The pure
gruesome horror was more than I could stand.

The Dr. picked up a large scalpel and said, "Now we will remove your
legs."

I tried with all my strength to move and resist the knife, but my body
remained still as he made a huge cut into my upper thigh.  He cut
deeply into the muscle and tendons as the nurses sealed me up as best
they could.  Blood spurted out with each beat of my heart as he hit
one of my arteries.  They scrambled to seal it.  The IV was constantly
giving me fluid to keep my blood pressure up to make up for any blood
loss.  As he used the saw to cut into my femur, I again blacked out.

It seemed like only a second, but when I looked down, both of my legs
were gone and the nurses were busy sealing even the smallest blood
vessels.  The table was covered in blood.  I looked over at the other
table and could see my dismembered pieces lined up, but only missing
my torso and head.  It was me over there and on this table.  If this
were a dream, I could be put back together, but it was not a dream.

The Dr. said, "We will now wait a short time for your body to
stabilize before we disembowel you and remove your hips."

I began to cry seeing my body in this condition and realizing that
soon I would be dead and never see my wife or daughter again.  Amy was
still and in shock blankly staring at me.

After 30 minutes, two more nurses came in and the Dr. made a large
incision in my waist from under the left side to the right.  He cut so
deeply that his hand disappeared into my bowels.  He was struggling to
find my main artery.  As he pulled it up, a nurse clamped it off
tightly.  I was in shock from seeing my body laid open.  One nurse put
some smelling salts under my nose to rouse me.  I was forced to watch
as the Dr. and the nurses clamped off all of my arteries and then he
began to cut at my backbone with an electric saw.  The sound was
deafening and bone chips were flying out of my body.  The smell from
the cauterizing machine was indescribeable.  I heard the saw blade hit
the table.

Two of the nurses lifted my hips up off the table and placed them in
the proper spot next to my other parts on the other table.  I looked
in horror as there was now more of me over there than here.  I
couldn't believe that I was still conscious or even alive.  Another
nurse pulled out my bowels and snipped them off leaving only the flap
of now loose skin just under my sternum left for me to see.  My bowels
were thrown in a trash can.  It was like a long bloody rope had been
pulled from me.  The other nurses feverishly sealed all remaining
vessels and arteries to keep me from bleeding to death.  I did fell
weak and was obviously going into shock.

They added something to the IV which brought me back to full
consciousness and then they began to wash me down and the table.  When
they were done, the table was gleaming and I was nothing more than a
partial torso with a head.  I looked over at Amy who was still in
total shock.  She obviously didn't believe what she was seeing.  Her
father was a blob of flesh and all of my parts were lined up on the
other table.

A man walked over to me and said my daughter would soon be freed to my
wife, but he wanted to bring in a special visitor first.  He said
there was on last thing that I had to do before Amy would be freed.
In my present condition, I could only hope to die soon and to know
that Amy would be set free and that she and my wife would live out a
long and happy life.

I heard a door open and someone was escorted in with a hood over their
head.  The person was walked up to the other table with their back to
me.  It was a woman.  Her hands were tied behind her back.  A man
removed the hood and the woman shrieked as she gazed upon my parts on
the table.  To my final horror, it was Angelina.  She collapsed as
they held her and told her that I was not dead.  She just screamed
uncontrollably and struggled to get free.

All at once, they turned her around to see what was left of me on the
table and then to see Amy still tied to the pole. Her eyes opened wide
and she fainted.  All I could do was cry and hope they would not harm
her or Amy any more.  I couldn't stand the thought of her seeing me
this way.  I was not a man.  I was something out of a gorry movie.  A
monster.

When she came to, she was wailing and they slapped her face.  The man
I recognized as the security agent from Cintron told her that she must
do one thing before Amy would be freed.

"What?" she screamed as she looked at me in disbelief.

"You must kill your husband with this knife or we will do to your
daughter what we have done to your him."

"No, I can't." she screamed.

Two men immediately began to untie Amy.  Angelina looked at me and
begged for help.  I had very little strength, but told her that it was
OK and this was the only way and that I loved her and I was sorry for
bringing this on.

"You must finish this within the next five minutes or Amy will suffer
the same fate." said the agent.

They handed her a large knife.

"One deep thrust through the heart will end this." he said to her.

All I could say to her was that I loved her and to not be afraid.  I
was in no pain, I told her.

They walked her over to me and said, "four minutes left."

She just looked at me crying.  I told her to feel for my heart and
place the knife there.  If I still had arms and hands, I would hold
the knife in place for her or do it myself.  She was in disbelief and
looked at the men holding Amy and then back at me.

"Three minutes." another man said.

Angelina looked at me in a loving way for the first time, but with
pity and placed the point of the knife between two ribs.  She leaned
over and kissed me and said she loved me.  Her tears were streaming
down her face.  I didn't think she had the strength to do this.  She
had to know that I would be dead within hours anyway and that this was
the only way to save Amy.  I just cried and told her to hurry and push
as hard as she could and that Amy would soon be free.

As if a nightmare was taking place, Angelina grabbed the handle of the
knife with both hands and I could see the strength building in her
body for what she had to do.  She looked into my eyes one last time
and then focused all of her energy on the knife and pushed as hard as
she could slicing between my ribs.  I felt nothing as it penetrated
through to my heart and sunk 6 inches into my chest.  She let go in
disbelief at what she had done, looking down at the knife in my chest
and the horrible remains of her husband about to die.  Her hands went
over her face and she sobbed.  I felt waves of blackness moving
through my brain and eyes.  Blood gurgled out of my chest.  I coughed
up blood. She had found my heart with the knife and it was straining
to beat its last beats.  I looked up at her and over at Amy and
smiled.  This was my pay back, but they would be free.  I struggled to
remain in this world, but the blackness was overpowering.  I was
looking at into Angelinas' eyes as I slipped into the final throes of
death.  She smiled at me.