I met this guy on the net who seemed interested in my dark proposition.  Many freaks had answered my add and visited my site and offered their services, but one guy stood out.  He had the same dark desires to inflict mayhem on a human body as a sadist matching my own masochistic wishes.  This is the story of how we met, the contract and my death.

    Six months before, I had been given a death sentence by my doctor.  I had inoperable pancreatic cancer and had only one year to live.  I had always been into BDSM and pain, but I didn't relish being slowly eaten away by this disease and dying in ceaseless agony.  I began to devise a method of suicide to include my extremely ghoulish and gory dreams and feel my death on my terms.  I wanted a few hours or days of incredible violence with a final bloody and horrible ending that sane people can only imagine in their nightmares.  If I was successful, I would be able to carry this out myself, but I soon realized that I might lose consciousness and be saved.  I finally decided to find the right type of help. 

    There are so many sadists on the web out there in the sick world of cyber perverts who would be more than willing to have a willing body to abuse and torture.  I simply had to weed out the fakers and fools from the rest.  I didn't want to be a slave, I wanted to be the willing participant in a wild and brutal execution at the hands of a truly evil man.  I had some very specific wishes for the violence against my body and I knew my executioner would have his own fetish for pain.

    The ad was simple:  Needed:  a special man or woman capable of extreme violence and torture to help a true masochist end his life over 24 hour period in a way fitting of medieval times.  A contract will be written to satisfy both my needs and yours. If you have what it takes, I will be your victim.  I can travel and disappear, leaving no trail to you.  The subject here is gore, blood, and consensual snuff.  Serious offers only.

    You would not believe how many freaks wrote to me offering their own demented take on this.  Most, if not all, wanted to have me for months and endlessly torture me if for no other reason than to inflict pain.  That is not what I wanted.  I wanted pain, mind you, but sudden violent bloody pain in vicious attacks both by my hand and my executioner until, after some hours, I give the word for him/her to finish me in a way so gruesome as to drive most men insane.

    After much weeding out, I settled on one man in the out west who seemed sincere in his desire to help me and also evil enough to handle what be required.  My executioner would have to be cold blooded and be able to freely inflict pain and then finally end my life without the slightest hesitation or feeling.  He would have to be a wanton murderer.  Jack was such a man.  He sent me some pics of some of his work.  They were real.  He had obviously done this before with both willing and unwilling souls.  The scenes were brutal and gory in nature with dismembered parts, gutted corpses and pools of blood.  He was in every shot and I had no doubt these were real.  I had never seen such violence committed on the human form other than war scenes.  Jack was head and shoulders above the other pretenders out there who vied for my body.

    We talked endlessly about his past and mine and how I wanted to die.  He had many incredible ideas more horrifying than even I'd imagined.  He really wanted to whip and beat me for some time before getting on to more lethal attacks on my body.  I wanted to indulge his dark desires as well as my own so I agreed to his terms. 

    I wanted to take an active part in this final episode of my life and death and we came up with a plan where he would slowly torture me as he wished until I could take it no more and then I'd be handed a knife.  The torture would only stop when I used the knife on my own body.  He would choose how the knife would be used.  At that point my desires would be quenched until I was unable to go on.  Then and only then, he would proceed to some truly horrible acts of violence to include; dismemberment, gutting, sexual mutilation, etc.  I liked that since I've always fancied being stabbed to death and hara kiri is my favorite form of suicide.  We could easily combine our demented desires.  

    Jack was my dark soul mate.  He was my twin in his dark desire to have me as a victim.  He said it was so difficult to find people like me who are either terminally ill or who have a fantasy role play desire and don't realize his part is real.  They discover too late that he is a murderer and not a man to be tempted with such powerful feelings.  The murderous rage is what I'm looking for.  Few have what it takes to be Jack or to be me.  My fate was sealed by my disease.  I had no choice, but to live out this final desire or to die a long slow horrible death.

    We decided on mid June as a good time.  It would be warm and where he lived, there would be no one to discover us during these final hours of my life.  Jack had a 1000 acres of desolate property.  He had a place specially laid out for his many victims and perversions.  I would be tied to a tree early in the day and be totally immobilized, but with both arms free.  I would be naked, of course.  He would then begin to beat me lightly at first and then with more and more ferocity.  This would not be my favorite part, but as a compromise, I agreed.  After a time, he would pull out a large bull whip and threaten me with it. 

He would hold up a large knife and say,  "If you do not agree to use this as I say, you will be whipped to death."

The sound would be enough to frighten anyone.  Without warning, he would snap the whip at my body and I'd yell in pain as my flesh burned red from the leather.  I would be like so many British sailors being flogged until I could not take it anymore.

I said to him, "You can't force me to kill myself."

The whip again hit my tender skin over and over again.  Each time I'd flinch from the searing pain. After repeated hits to my body, the blood began to ooze from the wounds.  It was horrible and I couldn't take it anymore, but I wasn't sure if I could really stab myself as he wanted.  I cried out in pain from the next hit.

He would then ask, "Are you ready to use this knife as I've asked you to do?"

I just looked at him in misery and with flailed skin and said in a raspy voice, "Please give me the knife.  I can't take it anymore."

He smiled and handed the knife to my already bloodied hand.  I had tried to fend of the whip with my arms, but now they were torn up. He must have whipped me two or three dozen times.  As I held the knife, he told me to thrust the blade into my gut as deeply as I could and let it remain inside me.  I knew I'd be dead soon no matter what, but in my perverted haze, I wanted to experience many kinds of murder and suicide in these final hours.  I could only imagine what the pain would be like as the blade entered my body.  I cringed and shook as I held the knife high.  He threatened me with the whip and told me to hurry.

Suddenly, I found a new strength and the fear went away.  I slammed the knife into my gut to the handle with one savage thrust.  I immediately let go and screamed in a horribly painful yet gratified growl.  I looked down to see all six inches inside me.  I could not believe the site.  My gut was on fire and the whipping was now a faded memory.  I looked at Jack and he was amazed.  He had always committed the acts of violence, never before having one of his victims do this.

We both smiled and then the reality set in as the fire in my belly grew.  My head drooped and I placed my hand on the handle.  He whipped my again and again saying,  "Pull it out and do it again."

I looked at him in disbelief, but pulled on the knife just the same.  It eased out as I screamed and the wound closed, leaving only a bloody slit to ooze both blood and some clear fluid from my intestines.  I held the knife up again and looked at him.  Before he could raise the whip, I fucked my body with the knife more viciously than before and tore into my right side.  I again let go in pain and my body drooped against the ropes unable to move.  I felt the whip hit me over and over again,  I could barely look up at Jack.  Suddenly he pulled out the knife and I felt his hands on my genitals. 

"You promised to do this for me." he said.  I just looked at him and smiled, but he knew I was too weak to do it.

I just looked at his face as I felt the knife push up under my balls. As he held my scrotum, he quickly slashed the knife across the thin sack and with that, my testicles were on the ground.  I looked down to see him now holding the knife tightly under my penis.  It was semi erect and I cursed at him.  In one smooth slice, my cock was free from my body in his hand and held up for my eyes to see.  I was no longer a man or even a viable body. I now longed for death, but there was one more move.

As my body bled in pain and the shear horror of this moment, Jack did as we agreed and pulled out a small butchering knife and looked at me.  I just nodded and smiled.  We both looked down at my midsection.  He slowly pushed the blade into my right side and gave it a firm tug to the left starting a large gash across my belly.

"Are you ready to die John?" he asked.

"Open me up and let me die." was my final reply.

He forcefully pulled the knife all the way across my body and then up a little as the hara kiri book teaches.  He just stood back and watched as my belly opened up on its own.  A great deal more blood and then clear fluid poured out followed by the first view of my insides.  I felt only a tugging and then I opened up all the way.  It was as if my entire insides spilled out over my groin, down my legs and onto the ground.  Only a peice of bloody sausage looking strand of my intestines hung to my body. 

Jack really got off on this scene and watched intently as my body slowly died and bled to death.  We really did it.  I died the way I wanted in control and with the type of pain and horror I craved.  I gave Jack something special also.  He was a sadist and derived great satisfaction from this. 

I hope you have enjoyed this and can help me find this kind of satisfaction.