Chapter 31

Anne said nothing about her new personal insight that night. She still wanted 
to allow time to pass to make sure that it wasn't just the heat of the moment.

For heat there was, undoubtedly. Stan dropped Denise off at her house and 
waited to be sure she got indoors safely, and then he drove on. As soon as 
Denise was out of sight he felt Anne's hand on his thigh, heightening his own 
response. It was difficult to drive with her hand there and a burgeoning 
erection, plus whenever he had to change gear Anne had to take her hand 
away again, but by the time they arrived at Anne's house he was ready to 
burst.

Anne was aroused too. She felt her lower lips sliding across one another as 
she squirmed in her seat, her hand sliding up and down Stan's thigh as he 
drove whenever she could lay it there.

'What's come over me?' she wondered. This was more, much more than the 
horniness she'd felt after last week's dance. She wanted Stan inside her, hard, 
fast and soon.

Stan parked the car and undid his seatbelt. Anne removed hers at the same 
time and in a second they were in each others' arms, kissing passionately, 
deeply. For a few minutes they made out like teenagers in the front of Stan's 
Mondeo before he pulled back and murmured, just loud enough for Anne to 
hear, "I don't know which is more uncomfortable at the moment, the gear 
lever or the handbrake."

Anne pouted as he pulled away, but then smiled at his words.

"I have a door key," she reminded him, "and there's a bed upstairs, 
remember?"

They didn't get as far as the bed. Once inside the door, Anne pushed Stan 
against the wall, one hand playing with the buttons on his shirt and the other 
questing at his fly. Her mouth crushed against his, and he kissed her back 
eagerly. Stan was amazed. He'd never known Anne so eager. Even earlier that 
day, when she'd pulled her panties aside while bent over the chair, she'd been 
less horny than now.

Anne's left hand slid inside his shirt, having undone two of his buttons. Stan 
moaned as her fingers played with the hair there. All the while Anne was 
playing at his crotch. She slid down the zipper of his trousers and pushed her 
right hand inside, feeling for his dick.

"Anne, if you don't stop..."

Her only answer was to slide to her knees. She undid the belt and clip at the 
top of his trousers, slid his briefs down a little and took his dick in her hand. 
Stan gasped at the touch, and then gasped again as he felt the hot, wet 
mouth of his lover slide around the head of his cock.

There was no way Stan was going to last long under this stimulation, given the 
head of steam he'd built up. In less time than he wanted he grunted "Coming, 
Anne! I'm going to cum!" and she pulled back to suckle at the head while 
pumping his cock with her hand. Seconds later, spurt after spurt filled her 
mouth. Anne started a little at the first one, but eagerly, greedily, kept up the 
sucking and pumping, getting all she could from him. Once he'd finished, legs 
rubbery, Stan felt her leave him alone as she stood. He opened his eyes, 
closed during his climax, and saw her standing there, slightly above him, and 
she opened her mouth to show him the pool of semen still there. She closed 
her mouth and swallowed, then kissed him. He could taste himself on her still, 
but found it intensely arousing and kissed her back, fervently.

"Hmmmmm. Now that the edge is off, shall we go to bed?" Anne said, huskily, 
into his ear. Taking his hand, she led him up the stairs.

- - - - - - - - - -

Denise got inside her door, checked her phone for messages - there were 
none - and ran upstairs. She turned on the taps for a hot bath, and pulled 
some bubble bath out of the bathroom cabinet.

Some long, wonderful, intense minutes later Denise was in the throes of an 
intense orgasm as she lay in the bath, fingers moving with the expert 
precision of long practice. 'God, I needed that!' she thought afterwards, as she 
finally relaxed. Denise couldn't believe just how horny she'd felt.

Denise told herself that she tried to work out what she'd been fantasizing 
about, but the impressions were a blur. Stan figured in there, she was honest 
enough and now in control of herself enough to admit that. Elaine and Susan 
of course. But Anne... Anne figured too. Denise knew that she was attracted to 
Anne. The beautiful, tall, elegant blonde had always been a physical attraction 
for her, but until recently Anne had been distant to her. At first it was just the 
way she was to everyone, but then it had been Stan that had come between 
them.

Now... now she didn't seem that way, and Denise couldn't help it. She wanted 
to see Anne writhing under her, to taste her, to smell her. 'God,' Denise 
thought, 'I can't be falling for Anne as well, surely?'

But she was, and she knew it. Anne, though, was straight. Plus she was Stan's 
girlfriend. Now tears formed in Denise's eyes as she thought that she'd never 
be able to have the relationship she wanted with either of them.

"Besides," she told the bathroom, shaking her head and then wiping her eyes 
as she lay in the water, "I've got Laney and Susan. I don't need Anne or 
Stan."

The words felt hollow even as they left her lips.

- - - - - - - - - -

Stan lay in bed, turned away from Anne. He thought she was sleeping, and 
didn't want to wake her, but his mind was running furiously. In the end Stan 
got up and went to the bathroom, using the time to think.

'I'm in love with Anne. That's a given,' he thought. 'So what do I feel for 
Denise, and what should I do?'

'Well, first question. It can't be love, surely, because I'm in love with Anne. I 
can't be equally in love with both of them, can I?'

Stan's nature was introspective and careful. Even in the depths of his 
depression, those months ago, he'd been honest enough with himself to know 
that, in theory, he should have been doing something about it. Now, he felt a 
similar honesty. He was in love with both women, he finally admitted to 
himself.

'And so what? I can't have both of them at once!' he thought. As always, he 
felt back for the source of help and solace that had never failed him.

'Caron? What do I do now?' he asked, and felt her presence, sympathising, 
knowing. He closed his eyes in the bathroom light and saw her eyes regarding 
him, mocking but concerned.

Stan always felt better when he thought of her, but this time he couldn't be 
sure what he thought she was telling him. Not once, in all the years they were 
married, had he cheated on her, or had she cheated on him. Now, he felt like 
the worst kind of cad as he felt the same intensity of love for two women at 
once, and even Caron seemed at a loss to guide him. But his wife's love 
suffused him, made him feel more at ease, regardless of the situation.

Stan shivered in the relative cold of the bathroom, and the vision dissipated. 
He knuckled his eyes, shook his head and returned to the bedroom. At the 
doorway he hesitated, fearful that he'd woken the beautiful blonde who he 
loved so much. When he heard nothing, he slid back into bed, careful not to 
touch Anne with his cold limbs.

Stan lay there for quite some time before dropping off into a fitful sleep. His 
dreams were of red hair entwined with blonde.

- - - - - - - - - -

Anne felt Stan get up, and carefully controlled her breathing in order not to let 
on that she was awake. She was still trying to sort out her feelings.

God, she'd been so full of need tonight. After the rushed blowjob downstairs 
they'd made love, carefully, slowly, lovingly. Anne was now secure in her 
feelings for Stan, and knew, beyond doubt, that he loved her.

'But,' she thought ruefully, 'he loves her as well.' That Stan loved Denise was 
no longer a question in her mind, she'd gone past that. Watching them 
dancing together tonight had been the revelation, but then she thought back 
to the other times the she'd seen the two together, and realised that Stan 
touched, protected and cared for the redhead as much as he could. Denise, 
until very recently, hadn't let him near, and Anne felt a little guilty in the 
knowledge that she'd been a part of the reason for that.

But now Anne knew she had a decision to make. 'If I do nothing, we'll all go 
on as if nothing had happened tonight. Stan and I will go on, Denise will 
eventually find another. That might be best.'

'But if I do nothing, Stan will be hurt. He loves Denise. I can't knowingly hurt 
him, so I have to do something. Then there's Denise. I can't honestly say I 
want to hurt her, either.'

Anne's logical brain found an answer, which her emotional side immediately 
rejected - it wasn't done. Was it?

Anne resolved to do a little work on the 'net tomorrow.

She felt Stan's presence as he turned off the bathroom light and stood for a 
moment, silent, before getting back into bed. Anne lay carefully still, to let him 
go back to sleep. 

- - - - - - - - - -

Denise arrived at work the next day early. She wanted a quick chat with Elaine 
before everyone else arrived.

"Hi Denny!" the pretty young blonde called as Denise walked in. "Good night 
last night?"

"You don't know the half of it!" Denise replied, a rueful smile on her lips.

Denise told Elaine about the night, the dance with Stan, and her bath 
afterwards.

"I couldn't help myself, Laney. I felt like I would burst! And it was Stan. I 
mean, come on, I've been out with him, gone abroad when he said 'no', had a 
couple of guys and thought I'd got over him. Yet still, last night, dancing 
together - well, we just looked at one another and I got kinda lost, you know? 
I guess I'm not as 'over him' as I thought I was."

Elaine leant forward, concerned for her friend and lover. She smiled slightly 
and said "Denny, sweetheart, I know you're not over him. You never have 
been. Susan and I talked about it last night."

"You did?"

"Yes, we did." Elaine told her. "It was Susan who brought it up, actually. She 
said that you'd admitted to her that you still wanted Stan. Susan wanted to 
know how I felt about that, naturally."

Denise looked down at her feet. "I guess I should've told you about that, 
Laney. Sorry."

"Well, yes. But it's okay, I don't have a problem, I've told you before. We split 
up because you wanted a guy, Denny," she said, gently, "and when we had 
our nights together, the three of us, Susan and I told you then that we were 
okay with the idea. Just, please, keep us both in the loop, okay?"

Denise went around the desk and, heedless of anyone coming in, she wrapped 
her arms around the girl in a fierce hug. "I'm so sorry, Laney. You know I 
wouldn't do anything to hurt you, and I'm really sorry. I just never thought. 
It's all a bit new to me."

Elaine grinned back at her. "You think it's not new to me, too? But the same 
basic rules apply to this relationship as to any other - we need to talk to one 
another!"

Denise stood back from Elaine as someone bustled in muttering a 'Morning!" 
to the two ladies and paying no attention to them. Denise said, "I guess I'd 
best be getting to my desk. I'll see you later, Laney."

- - - - - - - - - -

Stan and Anne arrived a scant minute or two later. Anne thought she detected 
something in the way Elaine looked at her and greeted the pair of them, but 
couldn't lay a finger on it.

She gave Stan a peck on the cheek, told him she'd see him at lunchtime and 
hurried on through to her desk. She wanted to get some work done before 
launching her own, private project.

A couple of hours later she was checking the 'net. It took only seconds to find 
the keyword she'd been trying to pull forward in her brain: 'polyamory'. Armed 
with this, she went looking for more.

Hmm. It seemed there were more people practising being in love with more 
than one person than she'd thought. Some of the advice and so-called 'help' 
was a bit 'out there', but some of it seemed remarkably sensible. Anne 
grabbed a few sites into her bookmarks and closed the browser. Time to look 
them over more carefully later.

Lunchtime arrived. Anne reopened her browser and went to the new 
bookmarks. She was still reading them when she felt a hand on her shoulder, 
and jumped into the air!

"Christ! You startled me!" she told Stan, who was behind her, grinning

"Feel like a walk?" he asked her. "It's not bad outside, not exactly the heat of 
a summer's day, but nice enough for a walk."

Anne switched off her browser, glad that Stan hadn't, it seemed, seen what 
she'd been reading. Yet. "Good idea, Stan - I'll just grab my jacket."

They walked out and wandered in the grounds, eventually finding their way 
back to the overgrown formal garden again. They talked of this and that, 
neither quite ready to broach what was actually on their minds, each unaware 
that the other was thinking of a similar subject. Denise.

- - - - - - - - - -

Denise and Elaine, meanwhile, had slipped out of the back and into the 
grounds there. They were earnestly discussing Stan, and their relationship 
with one another.

"Denny," Elaine said, "You and Stan. I know how you feel, obviously, and you 
only have to see how Stan is around you to know that he still has feelings for 
you. Whether or not they are as strong as you think they are I couldn't say, 
but that's something only you and he can really know."

Denise replied, "Yeah. But regardless of those feelings, there's Anne." 

"Well, yes, I know, but then you're already aware that it doesn't have to be a 
problem. There are you, me and Susan to show that."

"Uh-huh, but then that simply is yet another problem, isn't it? I mean, I've 
barely begun a relationship with the two of you, and now I want to throw in 
another unconventional setup? I mean, good Lord, how complicated and 
fucked-up do I want my life to be?"

Elaine laughed. "It'll work itself out, Denny, it will. Let's see where the 
problems are, and work on those, huh?"

Denise nodded, and stopped, and sat down on a bench. She turned to Elaine 
and said, "Okay. Honesty time. I love you and Susan, of that I'm sure. I love 
Stan, too, however. But the real problem is Anne. I'm attracted to her, why 
wouldn't I be? But she's straight, she's conventional, and she's with Stan. I 
can't approach her and say any of this, she'd freak. I'm pretty sure Stan would 
be a bit freaked too, 'cos I know I still am."

"You're sure she'd freak at the idea?" Elaine asked. But she answered herself, 
continuing, "Yeah, I guess she is pretty conventional, isn't she. Not to mention 
the ice-queen bit, though since she's been with Stan we've all noticed that's 
been thawed out quite nicely." Elaine smiled, and went on, "You should've 
seen them this morning. They came in together, Stan following like a dutiful 
puppy, and then Anne turned and gave him a little kiss on the cheek and his 
eyes lit up like it was Christmas!"

Elaine saw Denise's face fall, and said, "Oh, God, I'm sorry Denise."

"Oh, I'm fine, I'm okay. I just want him to look at me that way."

"He won't unless you can say something though, Denise." Elaine looked 
around. No-one was in sight, so she leaned forward and kissed Denise. 
"Sweetheart, I love you and Susan loves you. We'll help you as much as we 
can, but you've got decisions to make, and you know that only you can make 
them."

- - - - - - - - - -

Denise went home that night, thought for a moment, and then called Susan.

"D'you mind if I come over tonight, Susan? I don't want anything, just some 
friends to be with and have a natter with."

"Sure, come over! See you soon, Denise."

Once again she was there in a few minutes, and Susan opened the door. 
"Elaine's doing some shopping, she'll be back later. Tea? Coffee?"

"Oh, d'you know, a nice cup of tea would go down quite nicely, thanks!" 
Denise answered as she gave Susan a kiss.

Once they'd settled down with their drinks, Susan asked Denise, "I hear you 
spoke to Elaine today, about Stan."

Denise blushed slightly. For her, even a slight blush was spectacular, so Susan 
easily saw it.

"No need to feel like that, Denise. We're all together, you, me and Elaine."

"Yes, Laney reminded me of that today!" Denise told her. She recounted the 
conversation of lunchtime, then said, "I know that Laney said I had to say 
something, but I'm not sure I can. How do I approach that? Do I say 'Excuse 
me, but can I share your boyfriend?' to Anne, or do I say to Stan 'How'd you 
fancy both of us?' or what?"

Susan smiled at her obvious agitation. "You managed to ask me if it was okay 
to come back to my house, with Elaine, remember? I said yes. What makes 
you so sure that Stan and Anne wouldn't agree, if you just asked them? 
Someone's got to make the first move, Denise."

- - - - - - - - - -

Stan, meanwhile, was curled up in his chair, with a glass of Bowmore in one 
hand and a Patrick O'Brien novel in the other. He wasn't really reading the 
book or tasting the fine whisky, though. He was distractedly jumping from 
thought to thought, from impression to impression. He thought of Anne's 
beautiful face, then of Denise's gorgeous hair. He remembered the feel of 
Anne's body against his, then of how Denise felt in his arms as they danced.

Stan spent the evening at home, unfocused, unsure and ill at ease. His life 
seemed to be out of his control again. 'Was it ever in my control?' he 
wondered, finishing his second, fairly large glass.

He loved Anne, just as he loved Caron. 'Wait. Does that mean I can love two 
of you the same?' he considered, a little fuzzily.

'Yes, I can,' he decided. 'If I can love Anne, and still love Caron, then I can 
love you too!' he thought as an image of Denise, laughing in his arms, danced 
through his mind.

Stan drifted off to sleep, still in his chair, a small smile on his face.

- - - - - - - - - -

Not very far away, Anne was looking for one of the websites she'd 
bookmarked earlier. She was at home, having emailed the address to herself.

In the time that they'd been together, she'd found out enough about Stan to 
know that Denise was attractive to him. 'Goodness knows, she's attractive to 
me!' she thought. Then she wondered where that thought had come from, and 
where it might lead to. Dismissing that, she returned to Denise and Stan.

'I want what's best for Stan, and also I want Denise to be happy. Now, how do 
I tell her? How do I broach the idea to Stan? How do you begin a conversation 
like that?'

Ah. Here we were. 'Polyamory'. It meant "Participation in multiple and 
simultaneous loving or sexual relationships" and also "ethical non-monogamy" 
according to the dictionary. Well, she was sure enough about the loving part. 
But sexual?

Again, she wondered, 'How do you begin a conversation like that?'

- - - - - - - - - -