Chapter 11

After a fitful night, Stan got up in the morning feeling tired and 
somehow unkempt. A shower and a shave later it was only tiredness, 
but Stan couldn't get the grittiness out of his eyes. His 20-20 hindsight 
was telling him that there were all sorts of things he could have said 
last night, the most important of which would have been "Can I take 
you out for a drink next week?" or something similar. In his wildest 
fantasies Anne invited him in for 'coffee'- an invitation that would 
maybe then lead to lovemaking.

But then his doubts came back in full force. Anne was beautiful, why'd 
she want to go with him? Surely she already had a boyfriend, maybe 
more than that? She was far too intelligent for him, he'd never be able 
to keep up. She was so beautiful...

Stan's thoughts went back and forth like this for a while, gradually 
intermixing and becoming more chaotic. Suddenly he looked at his 
watch. Uh - oh. It was already after eight thirty! Stan was late. Time 
to move.

Stan ruthlessly suppressed all thought of Anne for a while as he 
frantically got ready for work. In any event, he needn't have worried. 
Bob had left a message with Elaine that he was going to be late too - 
one of his daughters had had a minor but messy accident and had 
needed to go to hospital. As Stan entered his office he knew he'd have 
to stand in for Bob, doing a lot of his work this morning. So it proved, 
and Stan was immensely busy for the first couple of hours.


Stan looked up as Bob entered.

"Hi Bob, how's Mary?"

"Oh, that daughter of mine's a trial, but she's fine, she's fine. Silly girl 
managed to drop a cast iron saucepan, she tried to cushion the fall by 
putting her foot under it!"

"She okay?" Stan asked, concerned.

"Oh, yes, she's in pain, but there's nothing broken and the hospital's 
provided her with painkillers."

"Did the doctor say any more about the injury, Bob?" asked Elizabeth.

"No, not much. 'Nothing broken, just soft tissue injury. No long term 
consequences.' was the gist of it." Bob replied.

"I wouldn't think there'd be any long term problems Bob," said the 
older lady. "I know I haven't practised for a long time, Bob, but simple 
injuries like that don't change over time. She'll be fine, Bob."

Being a former nurse, albeit a long time ago, her reassurances made 
Bob feel better, even though the doctor at the hospital had said much 
the same. Stan brought him up to date with the latest dealings and got 
on with his own work

It was lunchtime before Stan knew it. He stood up and stumbled into 
the canteen, hoping to catch sight of Anne. His hope was not fulfilled.

Today's main meal offering was spaghetti carbonara, allegedly. It was 
edible and cheap, but Stan suspected that a true connoisseur would 
have blown a gasket. Some fruit squash and a cup of coffee later and 
Stan felt better, at least.

Stan resolved to head straight to the design lab, but was intercepted 
by one of the salesmen with a customer problem, and before Stan 
knew it he was fully back in work mode.

It wasn't until later in the afternoon that Stan was able to get free for 
a few minutes. Before he could move, Elizabeth came into the office 
and called, "Wait a moment please, Stan."

Stan, who had half risen, sat back down again.

Elizabeth sat at her desk. She leaned forward and told him,

"A little birdy in Personnel tells me that it's Anne's birthday tomorrow. 
Have you got her anything?"

"Er, no!" Stan thought for a moment, and then continued, "I'll have to 
get her something tonight. God knows what. I need to get a card, and 
think about wrapping paper, and... wait a minute. Why'd they tell you 
it was Anne's birthday tomorrow?"

Elizabeth looked a little smug. She said,

"Your face yesterday told me all I needed to know. Whenever Anne 
walks in the room you take notice. Also, you two have been, well, 
'getting along famously,' since last week. Elaine noticed it too. You 
know what the speed of gossip is, Stan!

"So when Faye in personnel saw me, she 'Just Happened To Mention 
It'. Like I said before, Stan, it's a good job you let us organise things 
for you!"

Stan was dumbfounded. What did Anne think? Does she know? In 
fact... well. 'Better to ask a question of Elizabeth than to court disaster 
through ignorance,' he thought.

"Does Anne know this, do you think?" he asked her.

"I'm supposed to say something like, 'Only if she's not blind and 
stupid', Stan," she told him, gently, "but in this case I think she's as 
blinkered as you are."

"Really?" Stan didn't know what to think. Was that good or bad?

"Mmm. So, when you give her the card and present that you'll be 
buying and wrapping tonight, you can ask her out as well, can't you. 
Perfect opportunity, Stan. Take it!"

Stan grabbed his forelock with his right hand, looked down and said, 
"Yes, ma'am!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Bob, is it okay if I leave a little early today - say, about four o'clock?" 
asked Stan in mid-afternoon. Bob didn't seem overly surprised by the 
request.

"Sure, Stan. No problem." Then Bob turned back to his work, and Stan 
did the same.

'Either he's oblivious to all around him as well or he already knows, 
just like Elizabeth. In the first case it's bad because he's supposed to 
be the people person of the two of us; in the second it's bad because 
everyone seems to know that I'm smitten, except Anne,' Stan mused.

He paid a visit to a jeweller's and a card shop, then went home to 
write out the card and wrap the present. Thinking of what to write 
took a long time. In the end he started writing on scrap paper to see 
how it looked, and made several attempts, throwing each of them 
away. Finally, inspiration hit, so he wrote down the words that had 
sprung to mind on scrap paper to see how they read. Then finally, he 
wrote the card before spending some time wrapping the present 
carefully.

When he'd finished, he looked at the wall. He knew he still loved 
Caron, he always would, but now it seemed she'd given him the 
freedom to move on without hurting or slighting her. He felt her love 
for him as fresh as the first day, that first day on which they'd known, 
just completely known, that each loved the other and that they'd be 
together. But instead of allowing that love to draw him inward, closing 
him off, he felt Caron encouraging him, 'Take a chance, love. Live 
again. Love again. I'll always love you, don't worry.'

His eyes full of tears and with a lump that felt like a football in his 
throat, Stan couldn't say anything. But he felt better. His love for 
Caron was unbroken, but now he knew that it didn't mean he couldn't 
love someone else. Someone who had blonde hair and intelligent, 
shining eyes.

- - - - - - - - - -

On Wednesday morning, Stan called Pat, the Design department 
secretary.

"Pat, is Anne free at all today?" he asked.

"Hang on a moment Stan...yes, she should be. There's no meetings or 
anything planned for her group this afternoon," the ever efficient Pat 
told him.

"I need to see her about three o'clock, will that be okay?" asked Stan 
and Pat confirmed "She'll be free for most of the afternoon, Stan, she 
should be in the lab area, all alone." Pat ended her sentence with a 
smile that Stan could hear down the line.

"Good luck, Stan!" she finished before hanging up, which only inspired 
another bout of paranoia and doubt in Stan for a moment. It seemed 
everyone knew what was going on!

As the day wore on, Stan felt increasingly nervous and excited. He 
couldn't sit still, he felt hot, and he couldn't stop talking. He wasn't 
making much sense a lot of the time, though.

Elizabeth brought him a paper cup of water from the machine. "Calm 
down, Stan, you'll have a heart attack!" 

Eventually, the clock wound its slow but inexorable way towards three 
o'clock. Stan made his way over to the design lab, getting winks from 
Elaine and Pat on the way. He held in his slightly sweaty hand the 
small box, wrapped up in blue paper, and the envelope with Anne's 
card.

As soon as he entered the lab he saw her. His breath whooshed out of 
him and he stopped involuntarily.

Today Anne was not wearing her usual conservative wraparound skirt 
and blouse. Today she was wearing a black top and a short gypsy style 
denim miniskirt that showed off her long, long legs to maximum 
advantage. She was standing with her back to Stan, leaning forward 
slightly. Stan couldn't help himself. He simply stared at her ass for a 
while. Anne's legs were long and her muscles were clearly defined yet 
feminine. Shaking himself, he approached the beautiful woman who 
had stolen his breath.

He tried to say "Hi, Anne," but all that came out was a croak. Anne 
whirled around, eyes wide at the unexpected intrusion. She'd clearly 
been concentrating on something, and was taken aback at being 
disturbed. She opened her mouth, but before she could say anything 
Stan blurted out,

"Happy birthday, Anne. I got you a little something."

Anne's mouth closed with an audible clomp. Her eyes narrowed, then 
her face cleared as she realized that Stan was holding something out 
to her in his right hand.

Two things, actually. Anne felt her own face grow hot as she reached 
tentatively, out to take the proffering. Hand shaking slightly, she took 
the card and the box from Stan.

She opened the box first. Inside lay a lovely white gold pendant with 
sapphires, on a delicate chain of the same metal. Her mouth open and 
dry, she held it up to her neck. Stan reached towards her, then 
stopped. Anne nodded, almost imperceptibly, then opened the clasp 
before turning around so Stan could put the chain around her neck and 
fasten it there. Stan's hands were shaking as he attempted to do that, 
but eventually he managed. Anne turned around and looked at Stan, a 
question in her eyes. He returned the look with one of his own, full of 
doubt and uncertainty, before pulling himself together and saying, 
"Now the card, Anne."

Anne slid a nail under the flap and opened the envelope. Inside was a 
simple card with a "Happy Birthday!" message, but when she opened it 
she saw that Stan had written his own message inside. It read:

You fill up my senses like a night in a forest  
Like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain  
Like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean  
You fill up my senses, come fill me again.

The words are John Denver's, Anne, but the feeling's mine.
Please, will you go out with me?

Anne gasped and hesitated a moment, before she looked at Stan, then 
said, simply, "Yes."

- - - - - - - - - -

Anne

The two sat next to one another in the lab. They were close, but not 
quite touching. Neither had said anything.

Anne was furiously thinking. She'd not been looking for any of this. 
After Daniel, she'd sworn off romantic entanglements, preferring to 
throw herself into her work and closing off that side of herself.

On Monday night she'd thought Stan was going to say something, but 
when he hadn't, she'd decided that she'd misread things. She'd waited 
at the door for a moment, but it seemed that Stan couldn't wait, 
virtually bolting down the path. So she'd closed the door feeling sad, 
miserable, alone, and somewhat rejected.

On Tuesday, Anne had woken with the conviction that she should put 
it behind her. She'd worked with furious intensity before being pulled 
into a series of meetings. Anne hated these, feeling (with, she felt, 
some justification) that they were a waste of her time and skills. The 
last one dragged on to after five thirty. Percy's droning voice drove her 
to distraction, desperate to get out and get on with some real work.

So she'd gone home that Tuesday night frustrated. She'd arrived 
home, changed, did a little housework, cooked herself a little pasta 
with a bottled sauce in the microwave and poured herself a large glass 
of white wine to go with it.

While she was eating, she 'd thought about herself. Tomorrow, 
Wednesday, she'd be 35. She'd forced herself up through sheer ability 
to become a leader in the design group at The Firm, but her home life 
was a wasteland. She hadn't enjoyed physical love for almost a 
decade, relying on her fingers and toys. She hadn't been close to 
anyone emotionally, either, for all of that time, and more. 

She knew she should have made more of an effort to meet and enjoy 
the company of others, but not only did she tell herself that she was 
quite comfortable on her own, but she was secretly still frightened. 
After the first time, Daniel had been subtle, ensuring that the blows 
fell where the marks wouldn't show or at least could be easily 
concealed. She'd put up with it for two years before he'd lost control, 
this time breaking her wrist. The young doctor had been horrified 
when she'd seen the fading bruises, and Anne had poured out her 
soul. Proceedings had begun later that week. Daniel hadn't contested 
the divorce, as her solicitor had made it quite clear that if he did, 
charges would be pressed.

For a long time she flinched away from physical contact with anyone, 
but particularly men. As time had passed, that had got better, but she 
still was wary of men. Many of them had the opinion that she had to 
have used her looks to get anywhere. This only reinforced her view 
that men were entirely optional and she'd much rather do without. On 
Friday and again on Monday night, Stan had seemed an exception to 
the rule. Then he'd left her on her doorstep, scuttling off. He hadn't 
even been to see her today!

The wine had made her woozy and not a little sleepy, so she'd pulled 
herself up the stairs to bed.

On that Friday, when she'd been dressing for the 'Success Dinner', she 
felt so elated that she had needed to dress more freely. Over the 
weekend, she'd realized that Stan had been right - she'd slipped, and 
instead of hiding herself behind her professional persona, she'd 
revealed herself. Today, Anne had woken up on her 35th birthday with 
a resolve to stop concealing herself. She had put on a little more 
makeup than usual, let her hair curl around her face, (some, 
annoyingly, kept straying across her eye) and pulled out a miniskirt 
she hadn't worn for over five years. When she'd looked at herself in 
the mirror she'd thought, 'You're not hiding any more, girl!' and 
grinned at herself.

Once again she concentrated on her work, almost (but not quite) 
oblivious to the looks she was receiving. Anne felt a little ambivalent 
about that, as she was still unused to that sort of attention, but on 
consideration it was flattering!

Eventually she'd been bothered enough by her stray lock of hair that 
she'd clipped it behind with a pair of combs. Lunch had been a 
sandwich taken at her bench in the lab, eaten one-handed while 
adjusting an oscilloscope and taking notes with the other hand. She 
noticed that she wasn't alone when she heard a strangled croak from 
behind her.

Whirling around, she'd been going to yell at whoever it was for 
startling her and breaking her concentration, when the intruder had 
wished her a "Happy Birthday!" and she'd realized it was Stan, 
standing there and managing to combine guilt and bewilderment in the 
one expression. Anne had smiled a little to herself when she'd realized 
he'd been looking at her behind.

His face had cleared a little and he'd given her a gift and a card. The 
gift was wonderful, a white gold pendant studded with sapphires that 
went beautifully with her skin and hair colouring. It was truly beautiful. 
Then she'd opened the card.

She didn't recognize the rhyme, but it was beautiful, too - and the 
question at the end took her breath. She'd thought for a moment, 
wondering 'Am I ready for this?' before simply looking at Stan and 
saying "Yes."

- - - - - - - - - -

Stan

The two spent almost half an hour together, sitting close but not 
touching, saying very little. Stan had explained where the words had 
come from,

"It's 'Annie's Song' by John Denver. I remember it playing when I was 
a kid. I loved the lyrics then, I was about ten and it all seemed silly 
when I first heard it but later it was re-released and I loved it," and 
then he'd sung a little to her, not too well- singing wasn't one of his 
talents!

She'd been able to recognise it from her childhood, it had been one of 
her mother's favourites. However, she had a request to make:

"Stan, it's lovely. But I hate 'Annie'. It's what men call me when 
they're being patronizing. You get away with it this time, but it's 
'Anne'!"

Then, Anne had almost whispered her "Thank You" to Stan for the gift 
and card, feeling almost shy, like a young teenager being asked out. 
Each tried not to be caught staring at the other for a while, stealing 
glances. Finally Percy had intruded, almost apologetically asking if 
Anne would attend yet another meeting with Rick and some of the 
Sales staff.

Stan had stood, said "I'll meet you here at five, Anne."

"Fine. We'll have to decide what's next."

- - - - - - - - - -


Stan returned to his desk, and was immediately pounced on by 
Elizabeth.

"Well? How'd you get on? What did you give her? Did you ask her out? 
What did she say?" Elizabeth asked in quickfire succession.

Stan thought for a moment, collecting information.

"In order: Well! A white gold pendant. Yes! And... Yes!" he finally 
answered.

Elizabeth froze, then her mouth dropped open. She finally squeaked 
"Stan!" and came around the desks to throw her arms around him. 
Stan was more than a bit embarrassed, but hugged her back.

"If you only knew how much I wanted you to do this! God!" she told 
him, tears in her eyes, heedless of the rest of the office.

"You're my son in all but name, and you were closed off to everything 
and everyone for so long after Caron. I'm so glad I got Denise to 
intervene, and that you've taken the first step to opening your life up 
again. You're a romantic to the core, Stanley Hinch. When do I get to 
see this pendant?"

More than slightly dumbfounded, Stan said, "Well, Anne's wearing it. 
But I think she'll be in a meeting until five. Can you wait until 
tomorrow?"

"Beast! You're such a tease. Oh well, if I must, I must. Now, what are 
your plans?"

Stan paused in realization.

"Well, we don't really have any, yet."

Elizabeth walked back around the desk and sat down. She gazed 
indulgently at Stan, and said, "But you've asked for a date, and Anne's 
said yes."

"That's right, but we never got as far as deciding what to do, or even 
when to do it. We're meeting at five to discuss it."

"Well, what do you want to do, bearing in mind that it's a first date, 
you're a gentleman and wouldn't want to shock me?"

Stan laughed. "I thought I was supposed to be the tease? Well, I 
suppose somewhere a bit classy, where we can get a booth or a table 
that doesn't let everyone stare at us, and we can get a nice drink. 
Maybe some food. Um?"

"You've got a little while, Stan. Think about it."

So, Stan thought about it. They hadn't even decided if their date would 
be tonight or perhaps Friday or Saturday, but Stan knew he wanted it 
to be tonight. So it couldn't be late, or with too much booze involved. 
He didn't think he'd feel hungry, but Anne might, and besides, it still 
wasn't four o'clock, so who knew?

'Ah! Tennants Wine Bar,' he thought. It had a small bistro restaurant, 
as well as the normal bar area. It didn't have booths, precisely, but 
the bar area was arranged to have a lot of nooks and crannies for at 
least the illusion of privacy, and it was dark enough. Overall the 
impression was... intimacy. With the restaurant available as well, food 
wouldn't be much of a problem, and midweek it shouldn't be so 
crowded that they'd have to book, well not now at least.

"How about Tennants?" he asked Elizabeth.

"It's a good place. I've been there many times," said Elizabeth. She 
didn't exactly have a string of studs on call, but she did have an active 
social life: "There're miles on the clock," as she'd said to Stan last 
summer, "and the chassis is more upholstered than before, but the 
engine still runs and I know how to take the curves!" Sometimes 
Elizabeth could be outrageous, and Stan had roared with laughter, he 
remembered.

"Anyway, Stan, I need a little help. Could you..." and Elizabeth went on 
to describe a problem she had with a test she was running. With a 
sigh, Stan went back to work.

Not soon enough, it was half past four and Elizabeth was saying 
"Good-bye and Good Luck!" to him as she left. Stan kept on, tinkering 
with the test jig that Elizabeth had been using, trying not to think 
about the time. The minute hand of the clock seemed to take forever 
to climb up towards the twelve.

Eventually, after an aeon, it did. Stan walked through into reception, 
where he had to run the gauntlet of Elaine. Normally, he didn't really 
mind, but this time he had somewhere to go!

"Hi Stan, what are you up to?"

Stan hurried through, merely wishing Elaine a "Good night!" on his 
way. He caught a glimpse of Elaine's wide, wide smile as he hurried 
by. 'She's another who knows far, far too much!' he grumbled to 
himself, but he didn't really mean it.

He had an oddball grin on his face as he entered the lab where Anne 
was standing, waiting for him. Her face lit up in an arc-light smile as 
she saw him, and he felt his spirit lift in response.

Without words, they sat together as they had earlier in the afternoon. 
Each went to speak, mouths opening in unison, and they hesitated 
together. Finally Anne grinned and said "You first, then Stan. If I recall 
correctly, you asked me out..."

Stan couldn't help it, he blushed crimson. 

"Yes. Yes, I did, didn't I, sort of. Let's see if I can do it properly, then."

"Anne, would you like to go out with me? Tonight? I thought we could 
go to Tennants."

"Where's that, Stan? More importantly, what is it?"

This was NOT going as planned.

"Um. It's a wine bar in town. I... I've been there a few times. It's got 
small tables and low light, so we can be private, and they do excellent 
food there, too, if you'd like. It's er, sort of - well, cosy. We used to 
like going there." Stan had been going to say intimate, following his 
thoughts of earlier, but felt that was not quite the note he wanted for 
this early in the relationship.

"Who did you go there with, Stan?" Anne asked, quietly.

'Yes, that's right. It had, of course, been Caron.' He looked at Anne, 
then his eyes unfocussed and he seemed to go away from her for a 
moment. He came back to her, looking her intently in the eye.

"It'll be okay, Anne. It'll be fine."

Anne didn't understand what had just happened, but she decided to 
file and understand later. In the meantime, she'd take it at face value. 
So, she said,

"Good. Then I'd be glad to go there with you tonight. What time were 
you thinking of?"

"Oh, let's say about eight?" Stan thought aloud.

"That's fine. What sort of place is it. I mean, is it dressy?"

"Well, it's not like Apricot's, but it's not a spit'n'sawdust pub, either. 
So, you'll want something nice, but not flashy, I guess. If it helps, I'll 
be wearing a shirt and a sports jacket, no tie."

Anne grinned. "That's good, Stan. Now, what colour?"

"Grey jacket. I don't know what colour shirt. Or anything else at the 
moment. I'm not sure I know my own name! Did I tell you that you're 
beautiful?"

"Flatterer! Now go! Go on, I need to get home and get ready for my 
date tonight. Shoo!"

Stan went, his smile wide, his eyes bright. He had a date with Anne 
and Caron still loved him. All was well with the world.

- - - - - - - - - -