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Proper PH 
Part 3
By Spunk N. Wagnels

Sylvia?  Sylvia.  Com'on.  Come with me.

Oh Maggie.  Dear Maggie.

Com'on snap out of it.  They are all in your office, the five of them.

Five?

Yes the mystery man returned.  Seems he returned during her act.  Now
get a grip.  I've never seen you like this before.

ProperPH isn't "proper" any longer.

Sure it is.  Do I need to slap you to get the old Sylvia back again.

I'm okay.  Thank you Maggie.  I'll never forget you for being by my
side.

That's better. . . .  Mr. Griggs, this is Sylvia Weston, proprietor.

What's the meaning of all this?

Maggie, page Lori for me, would you please?  Mr. Griggs have a seat.
We will be able to explain everything except your employee's lewd
performance on stage.

Liz?

She's passed out Sir.

Cover her up better than that man, she's indecent.

Lori, meet Mr. Griggs.  He is the employer of this crowd.

Hello Mr. Griggs.

I need someone to tell me what happened here tonight.

I believe I can explain it Sir.  The people at your table were
reaching a limit of alcohol consumption our server felt was cause for
my attention . . . Then I brought the matter to Ms. Weston.

Thank you Lori.  I can take it from there.  You see Mr. Griggs, your
staff was growing unruly, and when asked to produce visible means of
handling the tab, none of them was able to.

Let me see your wallets.

Don't show me Hoover flags.  You mean, none of you brought a wallet,
Liz too?

No Sir.  You have been in the habit of paying our way for everything.
I haven't needed it at all this trip.

I see.

So faced with being stiffed for the tab, we explored the possibilities
for working it off.  The only thing I could think of that would not be
redundant with my staffing was a dance act.  I was assured that your
employee had talent by her peers, and by their claim that she is a
competitive dancer with trophies displayed at your office.

Well, she does, and she is talented.

I agreed to allow her to ballroom dance on stage, paid at the regular
wage mind you, and that way she could at least get herself home.
These mugs, I wasn't sure what to do with them.  They kept asserting
you would be coming by to bail them out of the situation.

Well this is starting to make sense.

Well, not everything.  Your Liz didn't stick with ballroom dancing.
She kissed her partner passionately, surprising her, and causing her
to leave the stage embarrassed.  Then the rest of your crew stormed
the stage, telling her god knows what, and the next thing I know, she
was removing her costume, everything.

She put the heels back on.

Somebody hit him for me.  Well I apologize for their behavior.  I
should have called to update them of my whereabouts.  Wait a minute I
did call. Pete, give me your phone. . . . You turned it off. . . .
Look, see, there's a message waiting.  Guess who, numbskull.

That seems to be everything except the bill.  Maggie?  Lori?

I'll get it.

I'll gladly pay it, whatever it is, and I promise never to bring these
buffoons here again.  Somebody wake up Liz.  

Wait, I don't think she would appreciate being moved and put into bed
by you four men.  Why don't you give me the address of where she is
staying and we'll watch her to make sure she is all right and arrange
for her to get back when she is more able.

That's very thoughtful of you Ma'am.  Oh thanks.  . . . There's a
generous tip in here for the servers as well.  I'm sorry for the way
things turned out.  You have a nice place here.  Good night.

Good night Mr. Griggs.

Sylvia, are you sure it is such a good idea taking responsibility for
Ms. Strut-Your-Stuff here.  There is no telling how much alcohol she's
had, nor how sick she may be.

Actually, it is better that we take care of her than them.  When she
is gone, they could claim all sorts of things, and we could be in
court over it.

But she may be really sick.

Lori, would you or one of the Foxes contact a Dr. Llewellen A. Eruca,
tell her it's important and pick her up and bring her here, if you
have to?

Yes Ms Weston.  I'm right on it.  

Let's get her lying down on the couch.  Take her crumpled clothes and
I'll get a blanket.

She won't let go of them.  She has them in a death grip.

Okay, never mind.  Here is a blanket.  Hum, what got into that pretty
head that caused her to lose such control I wonder.  Let's go check on
Wendy and Kristin.

So you were partners tonight.

Yes Ms. Weston.

How does it feel to be back?

It had its moments.  Boy, did it ever have its moments with our first
table by the end of the night.

I hope I did the right thing.

Yes you did Kristin. You both did.  That is what we pay Fox-5 for, to
step in and handle anything you want off of your plate. . . .  So do
the cooks still have their hazing thing going?

Yes they do.  I hooked Kristin up at the beginning of the evening.
How did that go?

Well, it happened just like you said.  My crotch was on fire all
night.  Whenever they'd zap me with vibrations, it was like throwing
gasoline on a fire.  I was just coming back to the kitchen from a
table that was filling my head with how beautiful they thought I was
and, whamo, they hit me with it. I had to walk in doubled over and
brace myself with the counter for an unexpected orgasm.

Bravo, bravo . . . you took that bow like a trooper.  Have you thought
about using your dance skills on the stage?

There is no way you could get me to go up there and dance like that
customer danced.

That's good, because I'd have to fire you.  That bitch may yet have us
closed down.

Sylvia, calm down.  No need to get upset over it again.

I'm fine.  No, what we need are tasteful dancers, you saw them.  Could
you see yourself dancing with them.

Gosh I don't know.  I suppose, once I get used to wearing those
outfits first.  

Well you did just fine tonight, so that is good enough to hear for
now.  You'd better run along to bed so you can stay fresh for school.
. . . Wendy, thanks for coming back.

Sure Ms. Weston, I'm glad I'm back.

See you tomorrow then.

Good night Maggie.

Good night.

Does she seem sincere, when she says she is glad to be back, to you?

I'm not exactly sure what is going on in that pretty red head of hers.

Let's go check receipts. . . .

. . . Ellen, thank you for coming.  I really need some medical advise
for a customer who may have drunk too much.

I suppose I owe you a favor. . .

Or two or three . . .

Okay, don't rub it in.  Where is she?

In the office.

This her?

Yes.

Let me see.  You know, overdosing on alcohol can be just as serious as
drugs.  You might have been better off taking her to emergency to be
safe.  Well let's see her signs.  Unhunh.  I only have this rectal
one.  Well, she's in good shape, she has that going for her.  Okay.
Can you turn the overhead off for just a second, okay, unhunh.  Let's
see.  Okay, unhunh.

Well, what's the prognosis Doc?

It is my best guess that this woman will wake up sometime between a
few minutes and twenty four hours from now with the worst headache she
has ever had in her life.

That's it?  She should just sleep it off?  

It would be safer to take her to the hospital, but my bet is on
headache, and a diminished desire to get drunk again.

I don't think she will be doing that again in a l-o-n-g time.  She has
that Jekyl-Hyde thing going when she drinks.

How's that?

She agreed to demonstrate ballroom dancing in our show, took too much
to drink right before going on, and turned into a show-off.

Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, you certainly have a way spinning things to
show the bright side.  She turned the dance into a bawdy striptease
for her co-workers and got the whole place worked up.  It was raunchy
enough for the police to care.  Maggie got her off the stage none too
soon.

I see.  You should probably have her come and see me about that.  I am
a psychiatrist after all.

Yes Doc.  She's from out of state somewhere . . . show me that check
Hon will ya?  Yes from Minnesota.  Liz  from Min-ne-so-ta.

Well you can have her see me for a follow-up physical tomorrow anyway,
if she wants.

I will do that Ellen.  I can't thank you enough.  Did you bring
yourself, or did a Fox drive you?

Myself.  I can see myself out.  Remember, encourage her to see me.

I will, thank you. . . . Well, that was the first good news of the
evening, she's going to be okay.

We also got the bill paid, we're still at full staff, and you have
your health.

Come here you.  I think you need a spanking.

I know it is naughty of me to bring these things to your attention,
but what are we going to do about Liz tonight?  We can't move her.
There is no place else to sleep in the room.  We just can't leave her
here.

Sounds like we're left with shift work.  You want to take the first
shift or should I?

I think you could use the rest first.  Here, put your head on my lap .
. . keep those naughty fingers to yourself.

Maggie, wake up.

Hunh?

She's stirring.

Ohumf.

She can't sit up.

Oh, oh, ohh,  . . . oh my head.  Where . . . who are . . . oh no.
What happened to my . . . oh no.

She sure is a moaner.

Quiet, I'm enjoying this after what she put me through last night.

Where are my clothes?

I don't know.  You were holding on to them for dear life last night.
Pull back the blanket a second.  See, there they are on the floor.
Did you sleep well?

What do you think?  Oh, oh, oh.

Got a pounder hunh?

Ooooo ouch, ssssssss.

Doctor said you would have the headache of your life this morning.

Doctor?

Yes, a doctor.  You owe quite a debt of gratitude to this woman.  She
had security wake up a doctor in the middle of the night to come down
here to make sure you were okay.  And, that was after she sent your
male colleagues and your boss away without you.  They were more than
eager to tuck you into bed themselves.  And, we both took turns
watching over you while you slept it off to make sure you'd be okay.
And all this after, mind you, after you turned her classy club and
show into a bawdy one woman strip extravaganza.  Is that enough to
thank Sylvia for?

Yes, thank you.  I'm sorry for all the trouble I've put you two
through. . . . This isn't everything.  Where is my skirt?

We wouldn't know anything about that.  Let's go check back stage.

Woa-unh.

Having trouble standing up?  You can dance just fine.  You did great
dancing to a certain point and then a different person took over.
Here, let us help you up.

All I remember is that I realized I was dancing with a goddess of a
woman.

Crystal?  She has a way of doing that to people.  I guess all your
dance partners are men.

Well, men in the sense of male right?

I don't follow.

The ones I've competed with aren't into women.

I see, so is it safe to say that you aRe into women, based on the fact
that you suddenly lip-locked Crystal and nearly sucked out all of her
air.  She was so shocked that she made a hasty exit off stage.

Oh god.  I did that?

I take it that you don't remember much past a certain point, do you?

No, I'm basically blank from dancing with Crystal till waking up in
your office.  . . . damn my pantyhose is missing too.

Pantyhose, yes.  That is a little sore point with me.  My dancers and
my servers, my cooks for that matter, can do anything they want above
the waist, go topless for all I care, but they are never ever to
remove their pantyhose in the public areas of this establishment.
When you turned your back to the audience and peeled down your
pantyhose, that's when I lost it.

I did what?

Kind of convenient when you don't have to take responsibility for it
by not remembering, isn't it?

I'm sorry for that.  You have no idea how sorry.  I really did that?

This was after your boys came up to the front of the stage and told
you something.  Any idea what they might have said?

They came right up to the stage and watched this?

And begged around for money to give to you.  I guess in the fracas of
getting you off stage, the money got sidelined some how.  Anyway,
you'd have to ask Maggie about taking off the g-string.  I was too
upset to watch.

Everything else was off.  That was the only thing you had left to get
a rise out of the audience.

Eveything?

Well, your bald friend . . .

Larry?

I suppose, well he acted proud that he got you to put the heels back
on.

Oh god.

Maggie had to call a stop to it when you came up to the edge of the
stage and started rubbing your pussy up and down on the smooth part of
his head.  You both were enjoying it too much for it to be legal in
this state.

Larry?  Oh god no.

So are you going to change before you hit the old convention floor
again today.

Mr. Griggs!

Oh, I met Mr. Griggs.  Decent sort of man, so it seemed.  Wasn't too
pleased with the behavior of his staff though.  He came back.  Saw
most of your show.  Apologized.  I guess he didn't want us to think
that everyone from Minnesota was so advanced sexually.

Stop it.  Now you're having too much fun for it to be legal.  Cut her
some slack.

Just saying it like it is.

No, I need to hear it, everything.  Oh god, what am I going to do?

You can come back with us to my place and shower.  I have someone who
can press your things.  We'll be happy to return you to your group.

No I can't face them.  I can't ever see them again.  I am now
officially moved from Minnesota.  I'll call someone to go to my place
and pack up my things.  

You are going to at least have to talk to Mr. Griggs.  He'll think we
did something terrible to you if you don't.

I can't face him.

At least talk to him on the phone.  You owe us that much.

Okay, okay.  You're right of course.  I just need a minute to comb the
rubble of my trashed life.

Com'on.  We'll give you new clothes too.

This is where you live?  Wow.  Working in kitchen appliances is a good
living, but nothing as glamorous as this.

Thank you, glad you like it.  Follow me, the shower is upstairs.

Whoah!  

Those stairs still too much?  I'll tell you what.  Why don't we sweat
that demon juice out of you and jump in the hot tub.  Come this way.

Do you have an extra suit?

No suits allowed.

Okay.

We can leave our clothes here. The tub's outside.

Gee Sylvia, you are quite the sexy woman under those business clothes
of yours.  That is one thing I do remember you telling me in your
office.

Well thank you, I don't hear that often enough. Humph, humph.

You're sexy, you're sexy, you're sexy, you're sexy.  Does that catch
me up or am I little a head now.

Isn't Maggie a dear?

Hot, hot, hot, hot.

You'll get used to it.

It's making me dizzy.

Here, scoot over to between my legs and I'll give you a neck and
shoulder rub to get the blood flowing better.

That looks like it is working for you.  Here let me put your heels on
my shoulders to elevate those tired feet so the blood doesn't pool.  

Okay if I work my hands a little lower?  The breasts have a lot of
blood vessels to stimulate.

Ummm, that is nice.

Mind if I touch you here?

Oh my.  I'm the only woman who has ever touched me there.

I'll stop if you want.

Don't stop, what ever you do, don't stop.

Has a man ever touched you here?

I'm in sales.  What can I say?  

Did you like it when they did it?

Sometimes you do what you have to do.

Have you ever wanted a woman other than yourself to touch you here?

Yes, oh my, you know exactly what to do.  OH GAAAAAWD.  I can't
believe what you are doing to me!  Oh god. I worship your hand.  No
that's it.  I couldn't take another.  Oh god no, please stop.

Okay, I'm stopping.  That was enough to wake the dead, much less the
neighbors.

Liz, Liz, loosen the hug, stop kissing her so hard. . . . No, no, not
on me, a simple thank you is enough.

I got a glimpse of what Crystal may have felt there.

Thank you.  Thank you.  I never knew it could be as good as this.

It's nice.   It's nicer with a woman, but you're adding your
heightened unattached emotion to it and it seems more powerful than it
really is.  You're vulnerable right now.  No job, probably; no home,
as you say; and prospects of unbearable humiliation if you try to go
back to your life just before now.  I'd say you should probably see a
friend of mine, Ellen Eruca, and talk to her about these types of
things.  Maybe you can find out what those guys told you that set you
off last night.  I know it would help me understand better.

You're right.  I have a lot to deal with right now, I'm a little
shaky,  and I should be careful being too needy, it could get me in
trouble.

There you go.  I think talking about it is already working.

Who is Ellen Aruba anyway.

That's Eruca.  She is the Dr. that went way out of her way to do me
the favor of seeing you last night.

When can I see her?

She'll make time for you today.  Let's rinse off and find you
something to wear. 


Comments are always welcomed: spunknwagnels@bigfoot.com

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