Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. A pick up story from Thinking Horndog's Swarm Cycle universe MF, Sci Fic, oral "Is anything the matter, sweetheart?" I asked cautiously. I had known Marjorie long enough to realize something was bothering her when she started prattling about nothing in particular. She had been doing nothing but talk ever since we sat down for drinks at this restaurant/bar she wanted to try. Before we arrived, she had been unusually quiet. I knew something was bothering her, but I didn't know what. "No, nothing's the matter at all," she responded. "Hmph! Why don't you go ahead and tell him and get it over with?" said the waitress as she placed our second round on the table. Sarah was the name of our cocktail waitress if her nametag was accurate. She had started out the evening with a cheery disposition. She wasn't so cheery now. "Excuse me," Marjorie hissed. "We're having a private conversation." Sarah ignored my girlfriend and continued. "I've seen it countless times since I started waiting tables. Of course it has been happening a lot more since we were all told those lizard men were on their way." The "lizard men" Sarah was referring to were the Sa'arm, a race of sentient beings from another part of the galaxy. They descended on a planet like locusts and killed and consumed everything in their path, leaving the planet totally lifeless. It was not unlike what Humanity had been in the process of doing to planet Earth except that the Sa'arm were much quicker and much more proficient at it. Earth had been warned about them by the Darjee, another race that belonged to an interstellar league called the Confederacy. Earth just happened to be in the path of what the mass media had started calling the Swarm. They were about nine years away at the time of the first warning. They appeared to be unstoppable. The Darjee did not warn us out of the goodness of their hearts. They had an ulterior motive. The Confederacy practiced a radical form of non-violence to such an extent that they would not defend themselves even if it meant their ultimate demise. Since the Confederacy was also in the path of the Swarm, they decided to get someone to defend their interests. They looked for a suitably aggressive race and found us. They sought volunteers to fight the coming menace. In exchange for volunteering the man or woman would be relocated to a colony world which they hoped would be out of the immediate path of the Swarm. The Darjee wouldn't just take anyone as a volunteer. The candidate had to take a CAP test which measured Capacity, Aptitude and Potential. Scoring was on a ten-point scale. A 6.5 was the minimum score required for volunteers who had to be at least 14 years of age. Those scoring below 6.5 could still go if they were sponsored by a volunteer, but only as a concubine. Concubines were for all intents and purposes slaves. They would be used for sex, breeding babies and raising children. Children under 14 years of age were treated as dependents until the all-important CAP test on his or her 14th birthday. National laws no longer applied to someone the moment they volunteered to become a sponsor or concubine. The sponsor literally had the power of life and death over his or her concubines. Despite the risks to both volunteer and concubine there did not seem to be any shortage of volunteers or concubine wannabes. No one wanted to become Swarm chowder. CAP tests eventually became mandatory in many countries. Confederacy Marines would show up at a public venue and throw up some kind of barrier around the perimeter. Then they would call up the volunteers/sponsors. Those that wanted to become concubines auditioned for the sponsors. Even spouses of volunteers weren't immune from the need to audition if they did not have that magic 6.5 CAP score. Sponsors could take between two and eight concubines plus dependents depending on their scores. The auditions usually became public sex orgies. Not everyone who had a qualifying CAP score wanted to volunteer. Some wanted to stay and defend Earth from the invaders. Some wondered aloud why the Confederacy was not interested in defending our planet. Their answer was that Earth was not a member of the Confederacy. Why could Earth not be a member of the Confederacy? The answer was because of Humanity's violent nature. Earth First was the most radical of the "defend Earth" faction. They despised the Confederacy and the volunteers whom they labeled traitors. They liked nothing better than to break up an extraction and had no problem using deadly violence. I was sympathetic with those that wanted to fight the Swarm on Earth, but not enough to support Earth First or refuse to be extracted if the opportunity ever presented itself. I mean I am an accountant. I played board and video games for relaxation. I studied history as a hobby. I was not exactly the warrior type. "I'm about to go to the manager and have you fired," Marjorie threatened, interrupting my wool-gathering. "What the heck are you talking about, Miss?" I guess I'm dense but women have always been a mystery to me. "Shut the hell up, bitch!" Marjorie yelled. "You still haven't figured it out?" Sarah looked disgusted with me. "She's going to dump you tonight, probably for Lenny sitting over there at the near end of the bar. They've been making eye contact with each other ever since you got here. He's probably told her he's sponsor level and has promised to take her with him if there's a pick-up. By the way, he's not sponsor level. Besides that, he's a player." It took an effort but I resisted the temptation to look toward the near end of the bar. "You don't know what you're talking about. For your information, I already know Lenny isn't sponsor level. He's a 6.4." It took a few seconds for Marjorie to realize she'd been goaded into revealing her agenda. She had the grace to blush. "I'll have another, Sarah. Make it a double please." I was going to ask Marjorie if she wanted anything else but Sarah was already walking away. "Honestly, if you give that slut more than two cents for the tip I'll never speak to you again." "I'll remember that," I responded. "Um ... so I guess you are breaking up with me?" Marjorie nodded. "Peter," my ex-girlfriend said. "You should know you're the nicest guy a girl would ever want to meet." "Am I that boring?" She just smiled. "In normal times you wouldn't be, but these aren't normal times, are they?" "You mean the Swarm?" "That's exactly what I mean. I mean we seem to be carrying on as if everything is going to work itself out. But what if it doesn't? Those creatures will be here before we know it and then what? Well, I want to live it up. I want live my life to the fullest until they do and then if one of them comes to eat me I can spit in his eye and say to him, 'I hope you choke on me, Gruesome'. That's the way Lenny makes me feel whenever I'm with him. I don't care that he's a 6.4. I wouldn't care if he were a 2.4. If someone came up to me and showed me his 9.4 CAP card and said, "I want you come with me to safety but you'll have to leave Lenny behind", I'd say thanks but no thanks. I'm staying on Earth with Lenny." "Well, this Lenny must be quite a guy." I was no Mr. Charisma, but I was willing to bet he couldn't protect Marjorie from the Swarm any better than I could. "Actually he's a self-centered jerk. I just can't help the way he makes me feel." Marjorie's declaration made me smile. I knew a couple of guys like Lenny. No matter how badly a guy like that treated a woman, she'd always come back for more. Sarah returned with my drink and I thanked her. "It's on the house," she said and left the table, again ignoring Marjorie. I found I did not mind. At least someone was on my side. "Well, I wish I could live it up myself but unfortunately, I still have to make a living however bleak Earth's future may be." What did Marjorie expect me to do, drop everything else and cater to her? "Who knows," said Marjorie. "The Swarm might be impressed with your accounting methods and want to hire you, or one of your online gaming friends might actually be one of these creatures and he'd want to keep you around for more gaming." She was in her sarcastic mode now, but I tried not to rise to the bait. "I can only hope." Gallows humor seemed to hold sway these days no matter where in the world you were. I could also hope that Marjorie got her comeuppance some day. "I'll be leaving with Lenny. I asked him to be here because I wasn't sure how you were going to react." "I'm not the violent type. You know that." I kind of wish I were violent. I would have bitch-slapped that smirk off her face. "I do know that but I wouldn't have blamed you if you just got up and left me sitting here without a ride home." I could not help thinking that Marjorie would have deserved it if I had done exactly that. "I'd like to think I have a little more class than that." And it's ten times more class than you have I thought. "I hope you and Lenny are very happy together." "Thanks Peter. I'll be standing by Lenny's side for as long as he wants me." I didn't see any point in prolonging the agony for either of us. Sarah had yet to bring the check. I'd flag her down at the bar. Just as I grabbed my coat, a gray curtain seemed to drop from nowhere, cutting off all sight and sound from the street just outside the building's windows. There were some short screams from the women, including Marjorie, and some shouts from the men. Then this big guy in a uniform announced he was a Confederacy Marine and that this was an extraction. Before he got two more words out of his mouth, Marjorie was out of her seat and out of her dress. It was a wraparound type outfit that was held together by a single snap. She still had on stockings and a garter belt along with her high heels. I felt my loins twitch in desire and was once again sorry to lose her. "Nice knowing you," Marjorie said with no trace of regret in her voice. I watched her scurry toward the other end of the bar, where the Marine was still issuing instructions. A minute later, I heard Marjorie screeching and I knew she was already being porked by a potential sponsor. Screaming did not mean she was in distress; she just liked to scream while being fucked. I looked toward the bar and saw a short stocky man sitting at the end watching the action. Was this Lenny? He looked more like Danny DeVito's stunt double rather than a romantic stud. I grabbed my drink and walked over to him. "I'm Chris Piper," I said and held out my hand. He looked at me as if he was trying to decide if I was going to get hostile with him. "Lenny Rubenstein," he finally responded and we shook hands. "Sit down. We might be here for a while. Chris? She said your name was Peter...oh." "Yeah." My father was called Peter. He said that was his cross to bear and didn't want me to share it. It didn't do any good. People still called me Peter Piper and then asked if I'd picked a peck of pickled peppers lately. It got old by the time I was in kindergarten. "It looks like we both lost her," I said trying to sound sympathetic. Lenny shook his head. "They'll all test drive her and then throw her back." "How do you know that?" I thought Marjorie was good looking and pretty good in the sack although her screaming could get on my nerves. "I'm a regular here. So are those guys who are volunteers. They already have their concubines picked out. They'll use those sluts and then say thanks but no thanks." That explained why Marjorie wanted to come here -- to be near her new boyfriend. It also explained why Lenny was not worried about losing her to one of those volunteers. I felt good knowing the bitch was throwing herself at these guys but would not be chosen as a concubine no matter what she did. One of the Marines approached us. "Are you Christopher Piper?" "That's me." "I'm Corporal Sharon Gonzalez, Confederacy Marines. May I see your CAP card?" I fished it out of my wallet and gave it to her. She nodded and handed it back to me. "Congratulations! You get six concubines," she said and handed me what she called a CAP reader, which showed and interpreted the sub scores that made up the overall CAP score. She gave me a 30-second tutorial on its use. "You'd better get a move on and choose your concubines. We can't be here all night," the Marine warned and then walked away. "Did she say you get six concubines?" He had an incredulous look on his face. That gave me a measure of satisfaction. "That's right." "Holy shit! That means your score must be up there." "Eight even," I replied not immodestly. "Marjorie told me you had a 5.9 CAP score." "That's what I told her. That's what I told anyone who asked." I did not want some young honey latching onto me just because I had a ticket off the planet and I did not want to get shot by some Earth First nut either. He laughed out loud. "She's going to be pissed when she finds out." "I don't much care if she does get pissed. She's your problem now." I meant it too. My disappointment for losing her was quickly vanishing. "Thanks a lot." He laughed again. "Anyway, she gave me the impression she wanted to stick by your side no matter what." "And you believed her? As you can see it was all bullshit. You don't know very much about women, do you?" "I guess not." I would not have given a second thought to taking Marjorie with me. I shuddered involuntarily. "Say, you better get started selecting your harem. These pick-ups don't last very long." "I don't know if I could," I said. "I probably can't even pick one concubine and get it right. I'd probably wind up with six losers." I thought I had a winner with Marjorie. "It's definitely important to have women you're compatible with," Lenny said stating the obvious. "I do know something about them. I'd be glad to advise you. No charge." My first reaction was to just refuse. I mean why should I even trust the guy? He had just stolen my girl. I finally decided I should at least listen to him. Besides, if he was as big a player as Sarah had implied, he certainly knew how to read women, a skill I was sadly lacking. What did I have to lose? The price was right and I wasn't obligated to accept anything he told me. After taking a moment to decide, I said, "What the hell, why not? Just as long as you don't try to talk me into taking Marjorie back I'll listen." "She wasn't right for you anyway. I did you a big favor. Hey, Sarah sweetie, will you come over here for a second?" My cocktail waitress was standing a short distance away, watching the action, but looked like she was not going to be participating. If Lenny knew those volunteers were just stringing along those women, Sarah and the rest of the staff knew also. She looked over when she heard her name called and then frowned when she saw who called her. "How may I serve you, sir?" Sarah asked with icy politeness. "May I see your CAP card please?" She instantly turned hostile. "Why should I? You're not a sponsor." "As you can tell from the tone of her voice she detests me. No, I'm not a sponsor but this gentleman is." Sarah gasped. "If you're a sponsor then...why?" She was at a loss for words and pointed towards where Marjorie had gone. I couldn't hear Marjorie squealing anymore, so she probably had her mouth full of cock. "She didn't know," I said. I watched Sarah digest that tidbit of information for a few seconds. Sarah put her hand on my chest. It was trembling as she said, "I have three minor children, sir. I'll do anything for you." "Can you give him your CAP card? He won't be able to decide anything if you don't at least do that, will he?" Sarah reached into her apron and handed it to me. I placed it into the card reader and her sub scores popped up. The scores did not mean anything to me so I handed the reader to Lenny. "I can make some pretty good deductions from what I see here," said Lenny after a few moments. "She's a decent mother and does her best even though she's a single parent. She's probably not that great in the sack but she likes sex and is capable of popping out some brats for you besides the three she already has." "I've never had any complaints about my performance in the sack and my children aren't brats," Sarah protested. She looked embarrassed and I could not blame her. Lenny just ignored her outburst. "She rails against injustice but feels helpless to do anything about it although she does have the unfortunate habit of sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. She cares about people, myself excluded, and always roots for the underdog. Sarah's a decent manager. She'd probably be the one you'd choose to run your household when you were out of town." I removed the card and handed it back to Sarah. She looked crestfallen. I realized she thought I was rejecting her. I was not, but it was quite a commitment for me as well as for her. I took a deep breath. "I understand a concubine is little more than a sex slave and you'd be putting your children at risk also. But if you want to become my concubine it's okay with me." "Yes!" Sarah leapt into my arms. "Lenny, I'm sorry for everything I ever thought or said about you. I was wrong." "No you weren't," Lenny responded. "I'm just feeling a bit mellow this evening. Also, I'm looking forward to you being gone." "Is there anything I can do for you right now?" She was looking at the bulge in my trousers. "Not yet," Lenny answered for me. "You still have a little work to do." I looked disappointed and was ready to object. "Let Sarah pick your other concubines," he urged. "That way you won't attract any attention." I finally nodded in understanding. I didn't want to be mobbed by supplicants. "Okay, Sarah," said Lenny. "Take this card reader and go find another four girls. They should be team players, able to take orders, have excellent motherhood potential if they aren't already mothers, love all types of sex and want to breed like bunnies. It would also help if they weren't completely brainless but don't worry about looks. Know what I mean? You and the others should be bare-assed naked and ready to audition when you return. And don't fuck this up. You can easily be replaced. Understand?" "I know just the girls we need," Sarah declared. "I'm sorry. I don't even know your name." "My name is Chris." Sarah nodded her head, curtseyed and scurried off. "Actually I need five more concubines," I told Lenny. "You should consider a male concubine to keep your girls happy when you're not around." "Good idea. I really appreciate your help with this." "No problem. I'm having fun." Before much more time passed, five naked women walked out single file from the kitchen area, led by Sarah. They stopped in front of me and knelt down. Sarah handed me their CAP cards and I handed them to Lenny. "Your potential harem is ready for your inspection," said Sarah. "Fifteen holes are immediately available for your use in any combination or sequence you may desire." The other four women blushed and giggled but they didn't cover up their nervousness very well. I was nervous too. "Their numbers look good," said Lenny, who had been putting the cards through the reader. "Our fervent hope is that you find us pleasing," said a tall black girl with a British accent. "Our only goals in life now are to please you and to present you with many fine sons." The other girls murmured assent. "I wouldn't mind some daughters either." That got another giggle from them. "Go ahead and try them out," Lenny urged. "You don't want to buy a pig in a poke, do you?" I shook my head. How should I start? I wasn't any stud. My prick size was pretty average. It would take all night to test each girl for sexual compatibility. I decided just to test them for obedience. I hauled out my prick. "Suck," I ordered. There was no hesitation on anyone's part. They were rather eager actually yet there was not any jostling. Each waited her turn. Sarah was first. She was 35 years old with 12 and 13-year-old daughters and a ten-year old son. She was a 5'7" brunette weighing 150 pounds. She was a high school graduate with no higher educational experience except the school of hard knocks. This cocktail waitress was going to be my chief momma. Three of the other four were local college coeds working in the back kitchen. The tall black girl with the British accent was 19 years old and from Kenya. Makena had been sent to the states by her parents because there were very few African extractions. She was about 6'2" in height. Girly's parents were from the Philippines. She was 4'10" in height and weighed about 85 pounds. She made a nice contrast to Makena. Priscilla was from Mississippi. The young woman was no Southern belle and kind of pudgy, but very cute. Rosa was a dishwasher and a high school dropout, but her CAP scores showed she was far from stupid. I decided I was going to keep them all. "Assholes! Bastards!" Heh! That sounded like Marjorie. My guess was that she had finally been rejected by all of the sponsors at the front of the restaurant. I heard raucous laughter in response to her cursing and saw her making her way back. She looked pretty well used. "What the hell is going on here?" she snapped when she caught sight of us. "I'm forming my harem," I responded. "You're not a sponsor." "Yes, I am." "Since when?" "Since I first took the CAP test." "Apparently Chris has been less than honest about his true CAP score," said Lenny. "But that's wonderful!" Marjorie immediately responded. She was nothing if not pragmatic. "We can be together and be safe. But I'm afraid you aren't very good at picking a harem" looking down at my girls with obvious distaste. "I'll do that for you and the first to go will be this bitch waitress." "Please no, Chris...Master," Sarah begged. "Please don't send us away." The girls wailed in fear. They realized they had a competitor on their hands. All five were grabbing a hold on my legs. It was a heady feeling. "There's nothing wrong with my harem. You're not going anywhere with me anyway so it doesn't matter what you think of them." "You're not taking me? But why not?" She sounded incredulous. "Well, there's the not too little matter of you dumping me for Lenny." "B-but that was just a joke, Peter! I didn't mean it! We were just playing around. Tell him, Lenny." "It was just a joke, Chris," Lenny said in a deadpan tone of voice. "Marjorie didn't mean it. We were just playing with you." Lenny could hardly keep a straight face. I just smiled and shook my head. "You could never get my name straight either." "I was just teasing! Make him take me!" my ex-girlfriend demanded. She started crying real tears. Women's tears usually get to me, but not now. "I gave you the best three months of my life and this is how you repay me?" The woman continued crying on Lenny's shoulder. He was making sympathetic sounds to console her. "I don't even know what they see in him. He's just an accountant and a gaming geek." "I just asked the AI," said Corporal Gonzalez. I jumped when she spoke. I did not notice that she had returned. "The Darjee were impressed with an article you wrote regarding business deductions that they should be taking. They want to consult with you." How do you like that? I wrote that article for shits and giggles for an online journal. It was a parody on how I would advise the Darjee if they were subject to US tax laws. "The military also liked your battlefield analysis on the gaming forums. They want you to do the same thing as we battle the dickheads. In fact, you were the main target tonight. All the rest were targets of opportunity. It looks like you're going to be a very busy man." Marjorie cried all the harder. "All men are bastards!" And revenge is sweet! "We sure are," Lenny responded. He winked at me "Take me home, Lenny. I never want to see that man for as long as I live." She was about to get her wish. But first, I felt a little evil coming on. "Hey Lenny, I still need your help picking out the male concubine in my harem." "Sure. What kind of guy are you looking for?" "You'll do." "What? Are you serious?" he asked visibly stunned. "I sure am," I replied, while Marjorie gasped. "Don't you dare go with that bastard!" "I'm sorry, Babe. Duty calls." He started disentangling himself from Marjorie's arms. "All right," Marjorie screamed. "I've had just about all I'm going to take." She grabbed a stirring stick off the bar and brandished it. "If I'm not going nobody else is either." There was a buzzing sound and she slumped to the floor unconscious. "I was looking for an excuse to sting that bitch," said Corporal Gonzalez. "Her screaming was driving me up the wall." "I doubt if she could have done much damage with a stirring stick," I said, but I could not help smiling. "What do you mean? She could have poked somebody's eye out with that thing." "That's true," Lenny said and burst out laughing. "Well, are we ready to go?" "Whenever you say, boss," said Sarah. The other girls were nodding and smiling. "Leonard Rubenstein," Corporal Gonzalez suddenly proclaimed, "the AI has just awarded you a CAP score increase of two-tenths of a point for your assistance in putting together Christopher Piper's harem. You're now sponsor level. You get two concubines." Lenny looked stunned again. Then he smiled and looked down at Marjorie. "What do I do with you now?" Lenny mused. "Leave her," I said simply. "Or take her and suffer the consequences." Somehow I knew how conflicted Lenny must be. I still kind of cared for Marjorie...sort of. He gently nudged her body with his foot and then looked around. "May I see your CAP card please?" He was speaking to a tall well-muscled naked blonde who was just walking by. She looked like another reject from the sponsor orgy. "I've suffered just about all the humiliation I can take for one evening. If you're not serious, I'd prefer not," she replied sullenly. "I promise I won't humiliate you. It'll only take a minute." The girl shrugged, walked over and gave Lenny her card. "Elsa, huh? You look pretty strong," he said perusing the card for a few seconds. "What are you, a body builder?" "I grew up on a farm." "Then I guess you could lift this girl up?" Elsa looked at Marjorie. "Easy peasy," she said. Marjorie was over Elsa's shoulders in a fireman's carry in a matter of seconds. "What do you want me to do with her?" "Carry her up to the spaceship." "Truly?" She was wearing a huge grin now. "Unless you don't want a sponsor a foot shorter than you, I'm taking you with me." "I don't mind." She waved to someone further back and a young man hurried over. "You're going?" he asked sadly. "Yes, I am." She sounded sad now too. "I'll miss you, but I'm glad you're going to be someplace safe." "I'll miss you more. I wish you could come with us." "Are you two family?" I asked. They more or less resembled each other. "This is Karl, my little brother," Elsa said. Karl didn't look so little to me. He was as tall as Elsa and with an additional 50 pounds of muscle. "I still need a male concubine if you're interested, Karl." Of course Karl was interested judging by Elsa's and his joyous reaction. His CAP scores looked good. The girls approved of him too. They thought he was cute. Even Corporal Gonzalez liked him. "I would have taken you for myself if you had made yourself available." Karl smiled and blushed. "Thank you," he said. "I'd hug you, but I'm afraid of dropping this lady," Elsa told me. "So be a gentleman and take that load off your sister's shoulders," said Lenny. Marjorie was switched to Karl's shoulders and then I got a big hug and a kiss from Elsa. Lenny and I made our sponsorship offers for the AI to record. Karl and the girls accepted. Well, Marjorie did not because she was still unconscious. "Go ahead and take her up," the Marine corporal decided. "I'm half hoping she won't accept so I can toss her into the recycler." Well, as it happened, Marjorie did not have to be recycled. She adjusted to being Lenny's concubine right away. In fact, she was the first of the concubines to get pregnant in our group. The other girls soon followed suit. Lenny and I became pod neighbors at the colony so Elsa and Karl were never apart. Karl is going to breed his sister after she gives birth to Lenny's child. Sarah's daughter Karen became my seventh concubine when she turned 14. Lenny and I share concubines and I enjoy an occasional roll in the hay with Marjorie. I'm not very gentle when I do fuck her, but who cares? She's just a concubine. It has been an interesting year since our extraction and resettlement but I still miss planet Earth. I've been told my contributions to the war effort have been positive. My dream is to someday return to Earth with it safe from a defeated Swarm.