This story may not be reproduced in any form for profit or on another website
without the written permission of the author.

Original posting date:
Monday PM, August 16, 1999

Dear reader,
this is a collection of responses I've received from my stories and from my childhood sexuality website (which no longer exists). I thought I would distribute them to show that people really do have experiences like these.

If I receive a lot of similar stories from other authors and readers, I'll post a sequel to this ...

So if you would like to tell me your story, please email me at kyoushuman@hotmail.com. Thank you.

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Hi.

I found your web site through a link in one of the newsgroups. I have read most of your contributors stories. And having done so I thought I would like to add my contribution to your website. Assuming of course you want to use it. Mine is both a positive and a negative story. I honestly believe that there are positive encounters between adults and children that are beneficial to both parties. And these should be told.

I have kept this essay as short as I can as I do not know how much detail and information you would welcome. If you want to use this then please do. Also if you want a far more lengthy, detailed and open essay from me then I would be happy to send one.

It has taken me many years to come to terms with the early childhood abuse I suffered from my paternal father. I was not sexually abused by him but physically abused. My father was an alcoholic and a very violent man. I have strong vivid memories and still to this day occasional nightmares depicting the beatings that both my mother and I was subjected to. Although my mother never physically abused me and whether it was intentional or not she emotionally abused me. I could never turn to my mother for a cuddle or for the protection I needed. My earliest memories go back to when I was four, being hit with a leather belt because I was making a noise whilst my father was watching television. Quite often I was kept away from school because of marks, welts and bruises on my buttocks and legs from being beaten. By the time I was around 8 I had been categorised as a disturbed child in need of special schooling. It was about the same time that a set of events changed my life. I think without this happening I would of gone on to be an abuser (in the physical sense) in my adulthood.

During an almighty augment my father had beat my mother so severely that she had to be taken into hospital. Then with the intervention of the police and the social services all the abuse came to light. It was then I was taken into care. I was initially taken to a children's home but because of my behavioural non-compatibility I was moved into another home. Looking back I can only say I was at that time a very abusive, violent and disruptive child. I would hit, kick and punch members of staff. I would deliberately wet my bed, soil myself and also do physical harm to myself. Then I was again moved in to another home. This one was specifically for very disruptive children. It was run by the Church of England. It was within this home I experienced the negative side to my abuse.

At this home my antisocial and negative behaviour continued. Constant fights, soiling and self abuse continued. One of their methods of control was an isolation room. You were put in this room as a punishment when you became uncontrollable. The room was completely empty. It was dimly lit and had a small window in the door so members of staff could look in. You were basically left in there isolated until you became controllable. I was put into that isolation room many times. Quite often as I had soiled myself my clothes were also taken from me and I was put into the room naked. This practice of putting children naked into the isolation room was quite common. We would be checked about every half an hour or so. And if we hadn't calmed down sufficiently we were left for another half an hour. And so on. There was one member of staff, they were called house parents, who particularly disliked me. I was also very frightened of him. He was my y abuser was the senior house parent who was assigned to me. He would come into the isolation room and sexually abuse me. He obviously knew my background of being physically abused so I can only assume the abuse I suffered at his hands was orchestrated as the sexual abuse he inflicted upon me was designed to be painful. The abuse wasn't confined to the isolation room. Just after my tenth birthday he forced sexual intercourse upon me. He made the point quite clear because I was a bastard child as he called me when I was being raped as my birthday present. I can still remember his words 'this is what happens to bastard children like you'. He kept repeating this whilst he raped me.

Shortly after that and I don't know why I was told I was going to a new home. I was to be fostered. I met Arthur and Helen only a few times for short periods before I went to live with them. It was with Arthur and Helen I began to settle down. I was eventually adopted by them and they are still to this day both alive and I love them dearly.

To begin with I behaved in the same way with Arthur and Helen. Being violent and abusive. I use to smash things and do anything I could to, to be disruptive. But I was never punished, shouted at or had any negative attitude from them. In fact the opposite. Arthur and Helen were the first people that showed affection for me. They made me feel wanted and more importantly loved. It took about three or four months before I began to settle down.

Once I had settled down the affection began to move towards a physical relationship as well as an emotional one. The physical side began with cuddles, both Arthur and Helen would cuddle me. Initially during these cuddles I was caressed over my clothing. Then as events moved on the touching was underneath my clothes then inside my clothes. I must emphasise here that I was totally at ease with being touched. In fact I positively enjoyed it and on many many occasions encouraged it. All the time this was going on I was also feeling the emotional side to their love. Eventually I use to go to bed with them. It's hard to describe the way I felt but I can only describe it as a wonderful and what felt to me a natural thing to do. To lay there whilst I was kissed (sexually) and caressed and to inturn to kiss (sexually) both Arthur and Helen in such a loving way was fantastic. From then on I had full sexual relations with both Arthur and Helen right into my late teens.

I'm now in my late thirties and I live in the UK. I guess many people will still say I was a victim of abuse from both Arthur and Helen. But all I can say is what little do they know.

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I'm a white male in my mid-forties, married with three children and engaged in teaching at the college level. I have a brother five years younger than myself, and we would have had a sister except that she died at birth. My brother and I are the best of friends and have been all our lives, being especially close as kids. Our parents were, and are, pretty much straight-laced Democrats, and only mildly religious. Our father is a man of modest means, and the house we lived in was also quite modest, smaller than average but clean and well kept. I guess my brother and I had the typical suburban setting in which to grow up. We've both done well in life. He's married, with two boys. I have two sons and a daughter.

As far back as I can remember, I was always intensely interested in female sexual anatomy. Seeing a little girl's private parts was both fascinating and enticing, but obviously for reasons that I did not yet understand. As kids, we rarely ponder such matters very far beyond the primal impulse, which by itself can be quite overwhelming. All you know is that seeing a girl nude, or even another boy at a certain age, gives you a warm, excited feeling inside, and you want it to continue and to lead to further exploration.

My brother and I, although we had every opportunity, never engaged in sex play beyond being respectfully intimate with each other's bodies both in the bathtub and alone in our bedroom. As the younger between us, he seemed to derive a special satisfaction in touching and exploring my slightly older body, although I do admit similarly enjoying the sight of him and occasionally giving in to curiosity by fondling his penis and scrotum while he did the same to me. Beyond this normal exploration, however, my brother and I never engaged in what you would call serious or advanced sex play. I was interested in girls, not boys, and the sexual intimacy that existed between us was purely within the scope of childhood brotherly affection. In fact, given the five-year difference in our ages, my brother and I were extremely close and still are. I've always loved him deeply, perhaps more deeply, in our own special way, than anyone else I've ever known.

However, this exposition is about childhood sexuality, and so we get into the subject of girls. The earliest incident that I can remember occurred when I was four. My parents had taken me to a New Year's Eve party at the house of friends who had two daughters, one my age and the other a year younger. At about eight o'clock we were put to bed. The two girls were to sleep together in the older girl's bed, and I was to sleep in the younger girl's crib. What I remember about that night was that when it came to my mother changing me into my pajamas, I balked at being seen nude by the two little girls. But I don't think that I would remember the incident at all if not for the reaction of our mothers, which was that they were surprised that a four-year-old boy would be self conscious about his body in front of two curious girls. For me, this underscores the fact that children are intensely aware of the reactions of the adults in their lives to anything even remotely sexual.

There were dozens of times throughout my childhood when I had the opportunity, almost always unexpectedly, to view a girl's private parts. It was always a very special treat, and I probably still remember 90 percent of those opportunities. There were also direct encounters, usually instigated by the girl, much to my satisfaction. It pleased and excited me to realize that girls, with that wonderful thing between their legs, were every bit as interested in sex as I was. It meant that I had something to offer them in exchange, and that there were bound to be endless opportunities that I might take advantage of.

Once, for example, when I was about seven, my parents dragged my brother and me to the home of some friends from a civic club they belonged to. The adults stayed in the front room, playing cards and talking, while my brother and I and their little girl were put to work at the kitchen table with crayons and building blocks. As the evening wore on, my brother fell asleep on the sofa, leaving the girl and me alone in the kitchen. It was an old house of the row variety, with a pantry off the kitchen _ a small room, down one step, with lots of shelves for canned goods and such. At some point in our artistic endeavors, the girl asked if she could "see" me. I agreed, and she took me by the hand to the pantry, where we exposed ourselves to each other. I don't recall the incident with much detail except for the fact that she wanted to feel my penis, which I allowed her to do. Just at this point, we heard footsteps. She, being a girl, had only to drop her dress to cover up, but I was just able to pull my underpants up before her father discovered us. Nothing was said at the time, but the next day my mother asked me what we had been doing in the pantry. I told her the truth, but the girl had told her parents that the episode had been all my idea. So she lied about sex, which seems to be the normal human reaction, judging by recent news events!

The best, though, I'm saving for last. I have many cousins, among them a girl named Valerie, the only child of my father's female cousin, so Val and I are really second cousins. I suppose I loved all my cousins in different ways, but with Val there was always a strong element of romance. Yes, we loved each other in "that way," which was no secret to everyone else in the family, and they never lost an opportunity to tease us about it. It's true that we had flirted shamelessly almost since Val was a baby, if that's possible. My memories of her go back very far. She's two years younger than I.

Val and I began to engage in sex play somewhere around the age of seven and five. It was a gradual thing as we grew up, beginning with the usual "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" and progressing into touching, then caressing, and finally to mutual masturbation. I learned from Val at a very early age the ins and outs of female anatomy, and especially the location and function of the clitoris. Val and I also began kissing at about the age of ten and eight. It's obvious to me now, looking back, that we were headed for a climax.

That climax came in an unexpected fashion, especially since Val and I had already found a special place to be alone together. There was a sunny, open spot hidden amidst some overgrown pine trees behind her garage where we engaged in our love/sex play and even were emboldened a few times to completely disrobe. That was an incredible thrill _ to be nude outdoors, especially with Val, who I considered to be the ultimate in luscious femininity. I was rapidly approaching puberty at that time and beginning to think about what it would be like to have full intercourse with Val under those pine trees. I used to masturbate in bed at night while imagining this.

However, our big opportunity came not at her house, but at mine. I was twelve and Val was ten. Her parents were going out of town for a day and needed to park Val at our house. Since they would be leaving early the next morning, they brought Val over that night when my brother and I were already in bed. I had not been told about this, so it was certainly a surprise when I was awakened by nearby voices and saw Val and our mothers come quietly into the room. Thinking that both my brother and I were asleep, they didn't turn on the lights. As our mothers chatted in whispers, Val took off her clothes and got into her pajamas. I pretended to be asleep, but you can bet that I didn't miss one second of my gorgeous girl cousin's hasty little strip-tease! She was only four or five feet away, so I had an excellent view, though in subdued light. And it was more than just seeing Val getting undressed that caused an erection inside my pajamas, because I quickly realized that the only place they could possibly put her to bed was with me! My brother's bed was too small. Only my bed could sleep two kids, and it was obvious that our mothers were not going to wake my brother to put him in with me. And so, I waited.

I wanted to scoot over to make more room for Val, fearing for a moment that they might yet put her in with my brother, but if I had moved it would have given away the fact that I was very much awake. The covers were lifted and Val slid in next to me. Her mother kissed her goodnight, both mothers left the room, and soon the hall light was extinguished. Almost immediately, Val and I began to talk in very soft whispers. She explained why she was at our house, and I said that I was very glad she was. Sweet talk soon began, touching followed, and by mutual agreement we were quickly out of our pajamas and nude together under the covers. The feel of her skin against mine is something that I'll always remember, as this was my first experience with that incredibly exciting sensation. For the first time ever, I pressed my penis into her vulva, and, after first asking permission, entered her vagina. What I recall most is the thrill of sex, of course, but a few other things as well that have remained in my mind. One is that she was moist and slick inside, which for some reason surprised me. Another is something that I did not know about at the time: Although I was twelve when this happened, and well into the seventh grade and learning all about sex from other boys, I still had heard nothing about the hymen. Either Val didn't have a complete hymen or it had already been broken, because there was no resistance to my penetration, and she experienced no pain.

I lay on top of her, as we both knew was the custom, and the thrusting came naturally. We stayed together for perhaps ten minutes and both experienced orgasms. I'm almost certain that mine was dry, because I didn't start having wet dreams until I was fourteen. The orgasm was very real, however - my first - and in some ways, being my first, it was the best that I've ever had. A very great deal of the thrill is in the mind, and my love for Val, plus the extremely long "foreplay" of having enjoyed sex games with her since early childhood, intensified this first sexual intercourse in a way that makes me shiver even today just thinking about it. Val and I continued to have sex maybe two or three times a year, until I turned fifteen and began to realize that it wasn't such a swift idea to be having intercourse with a second cousin. I was, after all, ejaculating into her now, and this was dangerous. When we stopped, I think Val was disappointed, but I know that she understood. She and I are still very close, and every once in a while there is a brief reference between us in private about our former childhood intimacy.

Well, that's about it. There were other girls, including one who allowed me at age nine to insert my finger into her vagina for the princely sum of a nickel _ I was definitely a sexually active kid! As for full intercourse, Val was my one and only until I was a sophomore in college and had my first dating intercourse in the back seat of a '76 Pontiac. It was good, but not anywhere near as good as those earlier times with Val. I don't for one minute advocate encouraging sexuality among children, but neither do I condone unnaturally discouraging it. Kids know by their own individual natures how far to go and how often. In my opinion, they should be left alone, except for properly educating them regarding disease and the danger of unwanted pregnancy.

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I am a 24 yr old male. To look at my life you would say that I was a normal "reponsible" adult. I am single, and I am not a virgin. I never told anyone about my experiences as a child and as a teenanger growing up. I consider myself a "childlover" my preferences going to little girls 5-11 yrs old. How did I become who I am? Well it all started when I was 6-7 yrs old. I have always found little girls to be very interesting. Of course I played all the usual "Childhood games" that all little boys and girls play for an excuse to "explore" one another's body. For me it was playing in the dark. In the dark, it was easier to get your hands on the girls. I used to play tag with my neighbors and my cousins. It was very good and it felt good. When I was 10 yrs old I found out what "sex" really was and how to do it. My baby sitter was a 14 yr old girl who somehow found me fascinating. As it started out as just touching and flirting mostly it turned out to be quite serious. I was 10 when she actually touched me. She ordered me to take a bath and when I went in to take a bath..I turned to lock the door (like I always did) but she asked me not to. So I did'nt..5 min into my bath she comes in. She takes the soap and lathers her hands up and she's talking to me and asking me if I actually had anyone give me a bath before. I said no and she starts to rub the soap on her hands all over my body. She gets to my penis..now remember except for an occasional brush up through my pants that I got from other girls I did'nt how this was going to feel...but when she touched me there a bolt of electricity went through my body. It was the first time anybody has ever touched me there..ever! Well this went into different areas...me touching her...and always flirting. This went on for about 2 years..after that we decided to go much deeper into expermentation. She was 16 I was 12 and I had sexual intercourse for the first time. Apparently she knew what sex was all about...at that time I did'nt know it but she was not a virgin (no blood)...and she gave me a crash course in sexual education just under 2 hours...this led me on to other things.

Eventually the relationship between us two diminshed and we are still good friends to this day..she's married and has a beutiful 5 yr old daughter. As I grew up as a teenanger my family moved to a very small community. For the forefront of my teenage years (13-14) I did'nt have sex all that much..masturbated frequently but only had sex with girls my own age or slightly older than me a few times. It was'nt until I was about 15 did I develope a interest in little girls sexually. I made a friend in high school who had a little sister who was about 6 or 7. I used to play with her. We play games or watch movies with her. I enjoyed her company as she did mine. As I got to know her more and more I noticed that she liked to touch and hold hands. Be affectionate and love to give kisses out. She would kiss you on the mouth in a heart beat. As I was playing a game with her one day and her brother was playing a video game...I noticed what she was wearing. It was Saturday..kind of a hot day about 85 or so...and she was wearing a long shirt but I noticed she was'nt wearing shorts...but only a pair of underwear. As she moved around on the floor moving the peices around on the game board I saw her underwear was very loose to reveal her vagina..I got an erection. I was startled at first that I got an erection but I did. As I looked and looked I was strangly fascinated with it. Later that day I got her alone. I started to wrestle with her. She got into it a lot. I playfully patted her butt and went up her shirt a lot. She did the same to me playfully patting my crotch area and giggling. As I lay there beside her I let her get on top of me. As she did she landed on my erect penis..but sat ON it instead of going down it. Through my pants I felt her warmness on my penis. I ejaculated and it was the single most erotic moment of my life. She felt it too I suppose and got embarrased. She told me she was sorry that she did'nt mean to land "There" . I told her it was ok. She did'nt want to see it or anything. I immediatly left. I did'nt come back for a while thinking that she told her family but she did'nt. I came around again. She came to me instantly asking me if I wanted to wrestle some more. I said yes. In her bedroom on the bed we wrestled again. This time she kept touching me on my crotch. I instantly became hard again and this time she wanted to see it. She kept touching and grabbing at my crotch and saying "Let me see that". I decided to let her see it. I unbottoned my pants and unzipped them. I stepped out of them and there I was before this 6 or 7 yr old girl in my underwear with a boner. She played with it for a sec or two and then went inside my underwear. She pulled down my underwear to get a good look at it. She said it looked like her brother's. I told her to put it in her mouth. She giggled and said What does it taste like. I said I don't know why don't you try it and tell me. The warmness of her mouth was indescrible. After it was all said and done I got to look at her. The day ended up me fingering her. A few months later ( we still continued our relationship) she and her family moved away. I knew that they were..no suprise or anything.

This left me with a delimma. I was still having sexual urges to have sex with young girls. About the same time she...left 3 girls moved right up above me who was even closer to me then she was. These 3 girls was the object of my sexual desire and it was purely physical attraction. These 3 girls was 6, 8, and 12. I felt all of them up, and had sex with the 8 yr old. The 12 yr old did'nt like me touching her that way..and ignored me and the 6 yr old did'nt want to "play" with me anymore. So the 8 yr old was the only one who showed any interest. Soon after I moved away, to where a year later I met a little girl that I had a relationship with for 6 years.

She was only 4 yrs old when I met her. As soon as I did I fell in love. I don't mean a simple love..I am talking in "LOVE" The bad thing was she was my cousin. She moved in right next door to me. The attraction I felt toward her was nothing I never felt before. She took an interest in me too and it was'nt long before I was fingering her. It started when she turned 5 yrs old. The relationship was good..I knew when she was in the mood and she knew when I was ready. We was systematic in our sex and for nearly 2 years it was just touching, fondling, and kissing, That was all. She turned 7 and through most of that year it was still the same old stuff....until I took to her to my aunt's (her grandmother's) pool. We were alone and we started to kiss in the pool and I started to fondle and finger like I did. She touched me in return and went right down my swimming trunks as I went up her swimsuite. Eventually my swimming trunks came off...and my penis went into her. She screamed for about 2 min straight. Blood went everywhere in the pool and I got scared. I thought I had ruptured her somehow. Eventually the screaming stopped and we continued to have sex for about 15-20 min when I climaxed. We cleaned up the pool as much as we could. We ran the filter for about 1 hour and half and it still was kinda a hazy water in it. After that..we did'nt say much to each other..and for about 1 year we did'nt have our normal sessions. I thought I had hurt her. I tried talking to her but she would'nt talk to me. When she turned 9 she came back to me. I accepted her of course and we started to have sex again. Full fledged sex this time and we did it right up to the time she was 11. I guess she just tired of it and told me to stop of course I did. the relationship officially was over shortly after my 21'st birthday. Now I am 24 and met a beutiful 6 yr old girl. We are currently having sessions. Mostly just touching, feeling, kissing, and recently sucking. Me to her and her to me. All voluntary and it's good. For me as well as for her. I wrote this to not get anybody "off" but to share my feelings with the world. I would like you to publish it on the net if you can..I would appreciate it.

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Hi i read some of the true stories at your site, this inspired me to write some about my own sexual activity from my childhood.. im 17 now.

I started kindergarten when i was 2,5 years old. From what i remember i began to have sexual experiences with other kids on kindergarten when i was about four. Usually we were 2 to 5 boys and maybe two girls, we went into a room which was used for the sleepingtime that occured in the afternoon. The girls usually took of their clothes and we stood and looked at them for a couple of minutes sometimes we touched their vagina. Then we layed on top of the girl and one by one we put our dicks in her. It took me several years before i understood that i wasnt just supposed to have my dick in her but also that i should move it in and out. Sometimes no girl wanted to do this so then we boys had analsex with eachother. Usually one of us pulled down his trousers and then the rest of us had analsex with him one by one. We never masturbated eachothers neither did we any licking or sucking. I read some of the stories here about how hard it was to have analsex at young age but i never remembered any problems with it.

We did this for several years but when we began the real school at the age of seven we never stopped. As i remember it we did it every day without ever getting caught..

From that time i wasnt sexually active for several years, i think it was when i was about eleven the next sexual event happend. I had a friend who lived very closed to me and he had a younger sister. I think she was about 6 years old. Anyway she was the one who insisted the whole thing. Every time i was visiting my friend and i was alone at his room or so she pulled down her pants and showed me her vagina. After a while i started masturbating to the idea of her. One day i met her on the yard.. We went down to my basement and she pulled down her pants and i also pulled down my pants. My dick was hard as a rock and very gently i tried to put my dick inside of her and i managed to get it in by about one third before she started to say it hurts. Instead i convinced her to take my dick in her mouth and after a while i got an orgasm and my semen which wasnt so much came in her mouth, i dont remember if she swallowed or spitted it out. We met in the basement several times a week to have sex. The first maybe 10 times we had only oralsex but after a while we managed to have "normal sex" (vagina). The first times we had normal sex i never got an orgasm inside of her. I just layed down and she sat on me deciding how much of my dick she could take inside of her.

When i was about 14 with a kid who was 9 years old. He used to be at our house all the time because our partens were friends and they also lived close by. I was very sexually attracted to him and i used to wrestle with him alot on fun and this always gave me an hardon. It was very sexually "loaded" between us. When we wrestled i used to push his head on my dick (i had my pants on) and he used to "sit" over my head in a position where his dick was very close to my mouth. Sometimes he touched my dick with his hand by accident several times then he looked at me smiling. Sometimes we layed in the same bed me resting my head on his dick. He also used to sit on my dick and then he moved up and down like if i had my dick in his ass. This charade lasted for about half a year until one day when we were alone and he whispered in my ear that he loved me. I looked at him and i asked him if he wanted to fuck, of course he said yes. This was the greatest fuck in my whole life even though it was over in 5 minutes. I pulled of my pants took his head in my hands and then he gave me a blowjob. It felt like if this nineyearold had sucked hundreds of dicks before mine, it was truly great. From then on we had sex for several years, one strange thing was that i was allowed to have analsex with him as much as i wanted but he almost never wanted to have analsex with me instead he preffered me giving him oralsex.

Im now 17, i have a nice girlfriend but i still meet him couple times a month to have sex.

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I moved into a new nieghborhood when I was about 10 or 11 and meet a boy the same age as me almost the same day. He was from a broken home and didn't see his father to much. I on the other hand always seen my father after he got off work everyday. My freinds name was Steven. He had sandy blond hair and was very thin. Most of the people thought we were brothers. He always came over to my house to stay for as long as he could until his mother would call him. One weekend I had asked him to spend the night on Friday.He couldn't have said yes fast enough.He arrived about 7pm and asked to put his things in my room. I followed him up the stairs and told him he was staying in the guest room. He quickly asked to stay in my room with me, I seen no reason why not so we went to my room and he unpacked. I was looking at his clothes and didn't see any PJ's. I asked him about it and he giggled and said he slept nude. I thought he was just joking at first. My parents were going out that evening and told me to make sure I take a bath before I go to bed. Steven looked at me and had the funnist smile on his face. My parents room had a big tub in it and you could fit 4 people in it easy. I said goodbye to my folks and told Steven I was going to take my bath. He asked if I was going to take it in my folks room and I told him I could I guess.I put a movie in for him and headed up stairs. I was in the tub and the door opened and Steven walked in. He asked if he could take a bath and I told him I would be done soon. He looked at me and said he wanted to take one with me. I didn't know what to say. He started to undress in front of me without me saying anything. I always felt close to him as a freind but new feelings were coming out in me. I watched him undress and looked at every part of his body. When me lowered his breifs I almost fainted. He had a slender penis and I felt mine getting erect. He started to get erect and said look I got a hard on. I got so excited at looking at him.He steped into the tub and brushed against me I felt his warm body and wanted more. We talked awhile and he said he wanted to show me something new.He stood up and lathered his hand with soap and started to masterbate himself. I couldn't beleave it. He told me to stand up and quickly took mine in his hand and was stroking me. What a funny feeling that was. We did this for awhile and I sald we should get out of the tub and go to bed. He knew what I ment by that.That night turned into my begining a intimate freindship with Steven that turned from stroking to sucking and lasted until highschool when I moved away to go to another school

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Dear friend, first of all I apologize for my bad english; I am a 19 y.o. croatian student, new in the web. I have read your story and it has been unbelievable, because nearly the same things happened to me when I was younger, but till this moment I thought that such things could happen to me only. I had a great sense of guilty and I was afraid to be a perverted boy, and never I thought to talk about my experiences with somebody, but now I think that you can understand me, and I want to reveal you my great sin, that is like a great stone in my soul. When my parents divorced, I was 9 and my brother 5. They decided that I had to live with my dad, and my brother with mom. Soon I understood that my 27y.o. father was gay, because his best friend often stayed at home with us and had sex with my father. I liked to stay there to look at them , while they made love naked, dreaming to be old me too to do it. My 10birthday they invited me in bed together them for giving me a special gift!, and the gift was that they sucked me and licked me everywhere for the first time. I was happy and excited and I was not ashamed for asking them to suck their dicks and taste their cum. That first time was so fine for me , and my father too, (I think) that since that day me and my father began to sleep naked together, and nearly everynight I satisfied my father with my mouth and received his cum. He tried to fuck me too, sometimes, but his cock was too great for me and I had pain. Unluckily my father was involved in drug, and when I was 12 I had to return to live with my mother. After having had such experiences, I could not live without sex, adn even if he was only 8, I tell everything I had learned to my brother. He was happy to try such things with me, and we began to have sex after one week. We were young and we had no limits, never tired, never totally satisfied. We were often alone at home and we spent all the time having sex together. Just in that period I began to exjaculate my first cum and I did it, ome days, also 3-4 times daily in my brother's mouth or ass. You must believe me: never I forced him to do it! He liked so much sex, that he told about our sex with his friends so that I did it with other 3 boys too of my brother school. They were too young for cumming and because I liked to receive sometihing from them in any case, I had the idea to ask them to piss, first in my face, then in my mouth. I think that you'll be disgusted, but I have to confess you that one day I let 2 of them shitting on me. And that was the day (me 13 y.o.) when my mother discovered everything, finding traces of shit and cum in our room. I had to confess...And since that day I began to be visited by doctors, psicologist, etc. They convinced me that I had done the greatest sin in the world, and I believed them. But now I have read your story and I hope that I am not yet the only perverted boy in the world. Now you know many things about me; tell me more about you please. Was you Paul in the story? or his little brother? What do you think about my experience.

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I guess my childhood sex experiences (or rather experiments) are not much different from the ones of, Id say, almost everyone. They just include
- showing each other what you have down there, in my case, I was 6 when I did this first time;
- playing doctor or mummy and daddy - of course with babies that have to be changed and bathed -here I was 7 when I first remember having played such games and 12 when I finally stopped for better things - yeah, thats late, but I had a lillte brother who liked these games, too;
- turning bottles and other games that obliged you to either kiss somebody or turn in some clothing (later as well do someting silly like kiss or touch another kid or eaven his genitalia, show yourself with an errection, etc.) when you didn t have anyting else left), I think I was about 10 when we started these games and about 12 or even 13 when we started with the silly stuff.

Beside that, we were three (boy-)friends who spent a lot of time together, played football, went swimming in summer time and helped each other with the school work. This friendship started when we were 9 and joined the same class at school and fell appart 4 years later, one year after we joined different schools. I guess even what we did among this boygroup was nothing else than quite common, I mean things like compare each others size under the shower, pissing contestst (who can piss the most, the farest, etc.), dirty jokes, discussing girls, trying to impress the others with what one already knew about 'it' and later experimenting together. But we never went further than masterbating together sometimes each other. I think we were about 11 when we masturbated the first time together. But there was this one time I never forget. It happened three days after my 8 birthday and it certainly left a lifelong mark on me. I was playing doctor with a girl of my class, we were at here place in her room. She did not lock the door, though, because we were home alone. I was the doc first and had to examine her and her genitalia very thoroughly for about half an hour, then we changed roles. I was lying nude on my back on her bed, my little cock was pointing straight to the roof and the girl just listened to my heart (her head lying on my breast, facing and, I guess, admiring my hard-on, when all of a sudden her six year older sister opened the door. I was shocked, terrified, anxious, embarrassed but unable to move, so was the girl. But her sister just came into the room, closed the dore begind her, came over to us, sat down on the bed, grabbed my penis and started to gently rub it. While she did this she just said: "no worries folks, thats allright, let me just show my sister what all of you little bastards expect us to do so you get a fine relief and your dirty pipiman can shrink to it s normal size." She continued rubbing my lillte penis for what seemed to me like an hour but probably was only a few minutes and asked me while doing so, whether this didn t feel real good. And yes, it did, so I nodded. After a while, I got a real stange feeling and the rubbing started to rather hurt than please, but her sister just went on rubbing for a while. She only stopped when my hard-on begun to shrink. She said:"See, that s it!" and left the room. I quickly got dressed and left. But already the same evening I had to try to get that sensational feeling again. And that s how I ve learned to masterbate and did it almost daily after that for years. By the way, no, there was never anything said, heard or else about this event and no, the girl never did it for me, but yes, I played doctor with her after that agein several times and yes, her sister as well as her mom cought us again, but no, none of them did it to me again.

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From the time of my earliest memories, going back to three years of age, I can recall looking at and letting other children of my age see my butt. The first instances were with other little boys, but by five I had done show me games with little girls also. In second grade a two year older girl and I looked at and touched each other. I could not understand why she wanted me to look at and toch her "pee" area, as I still thought that "butts" were the thing. There was never any penetration of any sort in these activities. We wer almost caught with our pants down in the corner of the gym as the eighth graders came in for PE. I remember the two of us hiding in a big crate for almost an hour with my pants still down, and her dress still up.

Although I had been aware of morning erections, I had no idea why some times my penis was hard rather than soft. To this day I do not recall whether I was erect during any of those show me type sessions described above. When I was eight I was at a school function when I overheard two adults talking about a four year old who had walked naked into a room. As soon as they told this story, my penis became erect. Although I knew nothing about intercourse, that event told me at once that there is a connection between thinking about "sex" (although I would not even have used that word) and the change in shape of my penis.

After about nine or ten I never again had an opportunity, or interest in the types of sexual explorations that I had as a child. When I was twelve I once walked into a room as my mother lay sprawled reading a book on the couch. I knew she didn't wear underclothes, but it was a very shocking thing to see a fleeting glimpse of a naked vulva, though again I would not have known the word.

Of course, once puberty came along, I noticed that it felt good to touch myslef. The first time that I ejaculated was a frightening and woderful experience. I had a self inflicted masturbation guilt thing that kept me away from any sexual expression until I was exposed to a truly liberal and open environment in college.

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I got just a distant ring of identity from stories 5 & 6 and I resolved to try and put my experiences down. But, gee, I wanted to know more so much more than what # 5&6 told. I would give anything to be able to exchange some emails with women that have had experiences like mine.

I was impressed with the effort you put into your story Mr Kyoushuman. I'll try to do the same with enough details so that someone can get a little sense of me as a person. I don't really know where to start. I'm 26, college educated with a professional job. I'm not rich but I do well and have a long term boy friend, pretty serious really now that I think about it. We'll probably get married.

I think I have always been a very sexual person since infancy I guess. I can remember being very intrigued with the openings between my legs mostly my anus for some reason. I used to insert objects anally all the time when I went to bed. They consisted mostly of a bobby pin or a small plastic cross. Had forgotten about the latter and it still embarrasses me to recount it even here. None of this went on to overt masturbation or touching of my clit or anything. I just enjoyed the feeling of having these things move in and out of me.

Our family, mom and dad, and me, only child, lived in a small one room apartment until I guess I was about 7 or so. That meant that my room was in the same bedroom as my parents. I don't ever remember being aware of anything sexual going on between them at night. I can remember being afraid many nights for some reason and over the top of my bed board my mother would hold my hand until I fell asleep. Some nights my father would growl at me to go to sleep. Hmm, I'm kinda remembering some of these parts as I go along. And it seems to me now that of course he was feeling impatient for sex and wanted me to go to sleep. I remember feeling pushed away when he would do that while wanting to feel closer to him. For some reason I wanted to smell his breath I don't have any idea where that comes from.

My father had has the most amazing touch in the world, it is singular. When he would touch me, my hair my arm, my back or what ever I would feel special and would be drawn to him, wanting to get closer, wanting to have the touching go on. He often petted me and stroked my hair for long periods. Touch was something he liked doing. When I got older I could see that women and girls of all ages liked the way he touched them, even casually. They would laugh or flush. I, in my mind used to say they were purring that's what it reminded me of. My mother, an extraordinarily beautiful woman, on the other hand didn't like to touch, me or my dad. She was impervious to his magical hands and I can remember countless instances of her shrugging off his hands or his hugs and kisses. Isn't that always the way?

My father used to get "headaches" and go into the bedroom and lie on the bed and listen to the radio. I much preferred his company to my mothers and used to often go in and lie down next to him-I must have been about 6 or 7. I would ask him what he did at work how he got to work what he saw on the way. And he would recount it all to me in detail while he gently stroked my hair or my back. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. It's what I looked forward to most, laying with my dad in the dark, listening to his stories of work and being petted, petted so perfectly that I would just purr. No sexual touching you understand.

Around age 7 just before a spelling test in school, I am an abysmal speller, I was stressed I banged my knees together finding each time I did it that I would feel a quick twinge in my vaginal area, what I now know to be my clit. So I just did it some more before the test, maybe a dozen times.

When I got home I wanted more than just a twinge so I pushed my groin up against the back of a soft chair and kind of ground my mound into it. The feeling was grand! This went on for a day or two and I had my first orgasm! It didn't frighten me in the least I knew I was for all of it I could get.

Well, I did it a lot of the next week and pretty shortly, it being all the same to me I did it in front of my parents in the living room. My grinding was put on instant pause when my mother hissed, "What are you DOING". Oops, that short sentence spoke volumes. I looked up to see my father and my mother both looking at me, my mother half out of her chair a puzzled, angry look on her face and I knew I was in trouble. I knew it wouldn't do any good but I tried to explain, "It kinda hurts in a way,.." was all I could manage to get out as an inadequate explanation when my mother cut off with, "Don't ever let me see you do that again young lady, now go to your room and don't come out until I call you for dinner!" I ran to my room afraid to even glance at my father's face for fear that I would see the same anger and disappoint there also. But of course he was neither angry nor disappointed in me.

Over the next couple of days I continued to masturbate against objects-strange but I didn't use my hands till later, don't know why--just as frequently but I kept it well hidden from my parents. The masturbation felt just as good but now I also felt sneaky, and bad and guilty and afraid of being found out. I couldn't even imagine what would happen if I were discovered doing "IT" a second time.

A couple of nights later I was laying with my father in the bedroom and he started to tell me that he understood what I had been doing that it felt good that all kids do it nothing wrong with it and that I could do it as much as I liked but don't let my mom find out. As he talked I began to like feel lighter and lighter, yup, just like weights were being lifted off me and when he finished I scrunched right up against him and put my arms around him and hugged him tight. Somebody understood and I wasn't so bad after all.

The next night on the bed he casually asked how I had discovered masturbation and how I did it and how often and what did it feel like. During this conversation for the first time his hand stroked my butt, I was just a little surprised, but it seemed right and I liked it. After a bit his hand slipped under my dress and started to pet my panty clad buns-me laying on my back. This was different, I really took notice, it was sensational. As his fingers trailed up the crack of my butt or traced the outline of the elastic leg bands of my panties I knew that there was a lot about butts I didn't know. If I knew a comic book's amount about my butt up until now I could see it that it held an encyclopedia of knowledge and my fathers finger tips were turning the pages very slowly, very deliberately and very enjoyably.

I was so frightened of doing the wrong thing and excited at the same time that I felt as if the excitement went up one more iota I would get the hiccups. All kinds of things flew through my mind. Did he know how good this felt? Was he doing it on purpose? Would it be alright to let him know this felt even better than masturbation? What would happen if my mother discovered this? Did he know to keep a look out for her? And just dozens of other thoughts all tumbling on top of each other while my pussy and clit got wet and twinges of pleasure shot half way down my thighs and all the way up into my stomach. This was sex, just like I always knew the masturbation had been sex-what planet are these people from that say they had no idea of what sex was at 6 and 7-and it was heady stuff. I didn't know what I was supposed to do or acknowledge I just didn't know so I did nothing. I just enjoyed his fingers exploring me.

Over the next few evenings I would sometimes lie on my back and let my father explore my ka-za-kus-the latter an indication of where the naming of the sexual parts was in my household-which was my name for my pussy. And there was much exploration, both front and back with many attempted finger penetrations. The latter were successful much to my delight and instruction. I did participate now with little noises and grunts and slight hip thrusts. But it all seemed casual, nothing planned. I would just happen to go into the bedroom and lie down. My father would just by chance pet me and end by feeling me up very thoroughly. And my little movements and noises just happening to coincide with what his fingers were doing. This was to change when we moved to a bigger apartment.

The new apartment had much easier access to my parents bedroom-translated, we wouldn't be able to hear someone coming until it was too late. And my room seemed inappropriately obvious, so we did nothing for a week, then two.

One day my father said he was going to the hardware store and I piped up that I wanted to go too. My father and I looked at each other for a couple of heartbeats and I knew he knew what I wanted and I knew he was wondering whether we should pick up where we had left off. I capped it with a long drawn out, pouting, "Pleeeeease". Finally he said, "Com'on". We picked up some things at the hardware but then we drove to the lake and parked. My father looked at me and asked, "Do you want to do it some more?" I held his gaze and nodded yes. He said, "Good so do I."

We visited the lake many other times although enjoyed most of our play at home when my mother was gone which she seemed to be more and more often, for longer and longer periods. Our play developed to my father licking my pussy and my little button in back. I loved it. My father showed me his cock. I couldn't take my eyes off of it, there was so much to see. At his slightest encouragement I touched and rubbed it for him. It was so heavy and light at the same time, hard and soft, what a world of paradox's. He showed me how he masturbated and it was only a short time after that that I took him into my mouth to full completion.

When I took him in my mouth I immediately found that I, astoundingly, was in charge of my father. It was I who had power over him. What a marvelous situational reverse! He would give some direction at the beginning but his suggestions had longer and longer lapses which where replaced by panting and sighing. I loved the feeling of being in control I felt like super woman and that I was able to use my great powers to make my father very, very happy. Not too far from the truth when you think about it. Yes, if you are wondering he would come in my mouth, I never knew it could be any other way and that always seemed like the perfect completion.

Over the next few years we became very accomplished oralists. I have never read or hear of anything that we didn't do in this area. And we progressed to other things naturally. He would stand and put his cock between my thighs while holding my feet together then he would stroke in and out. In this position his cock would rub my clit the most wonderful way and I would come like crazy. He also used this method between the cheeks of my butt and because of my sensitivity back there I enjoyed it, though never to orgasm. I asked him a couple of times about "doing it everything or all the way"-but he always said that it wasn't right and that we shouldn't. I have to say I couldn't see the difference, then or now.

More and more I took my mother's place as his companion and after a few half hearted, "Oh, you two are always together", we didn't hear any more and saw less of her yet.

In one of the "thigh" sessions, when I had just turned 11, the head of his cock accidentally penetrated my vagina, just the head. We both froze and looked at each other, both wanting to go further but neither saying anything. And within seconds my father had a very powerful orgasm, ejaculating his semen into my vagina for the first time. I was wild with the heat of the situation and I reached down and brought myself to orgasm immediately afterward. We both knew it was a matter of time now, but we just cuddled and stroked each other neither of us giving voice to our knowledge.

In fact the very next time we were on my bed "playing" I initiated penetration again and without much help but no hindrance either I worked my fathers cock well into my pussy with no pain and just a tiny amount of blood. He took it from there and we had a very full and very fuck session. We did it as often as possible neither ever seeming to get enough and if we couldn't fuck, anal or vaginal, we would have some quick oral couplings. It's a mystery looking back that no one noticed what was going on. Every possible sign that we were lovers was up in 12 foot neon letters. But no one did.

I want to describe how it felt the first few times I had my father in my mouth or my pussy but I can't find any words. I knew I was doing something extraordinary explosive in fact but it never seemed bad. It seemed in a way that I was in a singular place in the universe, that I had a different perspective or something than anyone else did have or could have. I felt very powerful and I wanted to be more powerful. At other times I felt very submissive and I wanted to be more submissive and be "taken". I know you are all going to roll your eye balls at this but sex with my father was in some ways more fulfilling and hotter and, yes, nastier, than any other I have ever had. But then all sex is unique to the person you are having it with. I don't know. That's why I so much would like to be able to talk with other women that have had similar experiences. I would love to sort this out if I can. But I can tell you this in capital letters, looking back, I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

The sex continued at a heavy rate until I was 13 and had my first period. We slacked off, at my father's insistence, on vaginal intercourse and then some how as boy friends entered the picture we slacked off more and more. I know the slacking was my father's plan, looking back, to release me to my new life and sexuality. I can't remember how he did it, it all just seemed so right that I never really questioned any of it until just now when I am trying to put things down in linear order.

We did it at a lessor rate until I was about 16 when we just didn't seem to find the time anymore. I wonder now how that could have been, "not find the time!!!!"

I've had boy friends, good ones and bad. The bad one's don't last long. I'm good to my men if they aren't or can't be in return they're gone. I've dated and enjoyed men older than some of my friends have ever dated. My present boy friend is 27, a year older than I am and we have been going together for two years, not my longest relationship.

I feel perfectly normal in every way except that sometimes, rarely now, when I am around my father I try to entice him to really kiss me and feel me up, just for the heat of it not to fuck. Sometimes, and I mean very rarely now, he gives in and I flow like a stream and my boy friend has a hotter than average session that night!

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Now, age 57, married for the 3rd time. Was an only child, strict parents, lived on a farm. Earliest sexual memories: at about age 6, playing with 7 yr. old girl cousin. We were in a pasture, out of sight of her house. She had to pee, so she pulled her panties down to her ankles, squatted and started to pee. I watched her, fascinated, as I had never see a woman do that. I cupped my hand, put it under her, captured about a teaspoon of urine, tasted it with my tongue, offered it to her, she also tasted it with her tongue. Then she asked me to pee so she could watch me. We both decided hers didn't taste that good, so I just pulled my penis out of my jeans and peed on the ground while she watched. From there we went to a farm shed to play with the cats....I came over to her, hugged her, ran my hands under her loose shirt to feel her belly, then upwards to her tiny breasts, rubbing all over her front...she was giggling and laughing while I did that...then I lowered one hand inside her skirt, pulled her panties away, reached down and felt her lips. She squirmed away from me when she felt my fingers there..So I stopped and we played normally for the rest of the visit. We had no further sexual contact after that incident; I tried a couple times in the next year to start something, but she didn't want to do anything, so I left her alone, although we still played together whenever we went there for a visit. When I was a freshman in high school, she and I were at a school dance. I didn't know how to dance, so was a wallflower...she came over, drug me out to the dance floor, spent the rest of the time that night with her showing me various dance steps. I really liked holding her, smelling her perfume, she was now a good looking teenager with soft breasts to look at and was flirting with her the whole time...No further contact with her until she was a freshman in college and I was a senior in high school. She called me up and wanted me to drive 100 miles to join her, a boy friend, and had a date lined up for me with her girlfriend. I would have to borrow my folks car, so acted reluctant to meet the 3 of them...She then promised that I would have a "real good time" with her friend, and that after the other 2 left, my cousin and I would have time for ourselves. I made her promise me that the trip would be worthwhile for me if I could have fun with both her and her friend. She assured me I would have a great time. We went to a motel, since her dorm didn't allow male visitors. We 4 chatted in the room, had a few drinks, and there were two beds there, so we coupled up and each couple started kissing, facing each other while sitting on the beds. It was a real turn on to watch the other couple while we were necking and petting...They left to go bowling, my cousin gave us a big wink as they left. Being naive, had not gotten any condoms, so my date and I just necked for a while, then she let me finger her, still fully dressed...I was aching for release, so she grabbed some Kleenex, and unzipped my pants, stroked me for about 30 seconds before I came in her hand holding the tissues..We left to go to the bowling alley. My date and my cousin's date decided they both needed to study for a mid term exam, so we took them back to their dorms, then went back to the motel. My cousin and I had a couple drinks, then necked and petted for an hour or so..We were both hot and steamy, so we stripped and took a shower together, washing each other with washcloth. She grabbed my hard penis and quickly made me come, then finished the shower. We stayed nude and went to bed, I was really mad that I had no condoms...so we played with each other, she came 2 or 3 times, and gave me relief 2 more times in the next couple hrs. We fell asleep, got up the next morning, took her back to her dorm. She started seeing only her date, and I had a steady girlfriend, so we never had any further sexual contact. A few yrs. ago, we met at a family funeral; she introduced me to people as"my cousin, who used to get into trouble with me as a kid"...My first real sexual feelings came in the 8th grade at a one room country school house when I was 13. We had individual desks, joined in a column. There were 3 of us in the 8th grade, myself and 2 girls. One sat immediately behind me. One day, quite by accident, I rubbed the head of my penis through the jeans; it was a very pleasurable sensation, so I kept rubbing it..after a few minutes, the most awesome,wonderful feeling flooded my whole body; I looked down, and there was a tiny wetspot on my jeans. I was so naive that I didn't even know what had happened, but I had just had my first orgasm; even now I remember that great feeling, different from later ones..So, for about a week of school, when no one was watching, and the teacher was occupied, I kept doing this every day...finally, my classmate behind me tapped me on the shoulder, whispered,"What are you doing?" Told her I was rubbing an itch...she threatened to report me t
the teacher if I didn't stop...so I never did it again during school time. During the next year I went from tiny emissions to full blown cums, and masturbated at least once a day when I could be by myself. We had a newborn calf that was penned up, and it was my job to feed it milk from a bucket that had a rubber teat on the outside, then eventually it would drink from a regular bucket. I got a bright idea; unzipped my pants, got hard, and stuck my penis up to the calf's nose. At this age, the calf only had short lower teeth. It began sucking on my penis, and the sensation was fantastic..It brought me to orgasm in a couple minutes...So, for about a month, until the calf's teeth were large enough to be painful, I had a daily blow job from it. A friend gave me a Pekingese male puppy for my 14th birthday present. It was a house dog, and at night, when I went to bed, it would whine until I picked it up and put it in bed with me. It would start licking me all over, legs, arms, belly, chest. I wore boxer shorts to bed, so I pulled my penis out one night, and the puppy began licking the head with obvious relish...guess it could taste the pre-cum...it's tongue was rough, but the sensation was great..and I came shortly, with the pupply swallowing all..So, for the next 7 yrs, I had the puppy for relief at night... When I was 14, had 3 neighbor girls, one was 10, the other two were 13 and 9. On a couple occasions, I was able to be alone with the 10 yr. old; she would not touch or suck me as I asked, but she did let me touch her breast and finger her while I masturbated..Then after a couple times, she told me to leave her alone, so I did. One day the 13 & 9 yr. old girls went with me to get the milkcows from the pasture. I was very naive, but bold about sex. I knew that I could get the older one pregnant, so I had the younger one pull down her panties, rubbed the head of my penis against her vagina until I came. Then I wiped her off with my farmer handkerchief. When I was 16, made a date with a 14 yr. old girl who was the town slut...She would go out with anyone and do anything..The macho guys all bragged about what they had done with/to her...So we went to a deserted farmstead, necked for a while, then she asked me to "do" her...and I got out from behind the driver's seat to walk around to her side....and unexpectedly, came in my pants, was devastated, told her what happened, she was laying on the front seat on her back...so she sat up, gave me a great blow job, and I took her home. The next day at school she blabbed to the girls that we had had great sex, and were going to get married...geez...so I never went with her again... Well, that's the extent of my childhood sexual experiences..Do have 2 other comments: 1st marriage, had 2 daughters one yr. apart in age. Both began to masturbate while laying on their belly when they were about 3-4 yrs. old...wife and I talked about it, agreed it was harmless, so the 2 girls did that almost every day while watching TV, continued doing it until ages 14-15 when their mom and I divorced...About 10 yrs ago, I was being interviewed/taped for local TV spot at a customer's house...in the living room was a female reporter, myself, and about a 10 yr. old girl, customer's daughter. While we were setting up for the interview, the 10 yr. old laid down on a couch and started masturbating while watching us. I pretended not to notice, as did the lady reporter. It was really hard to concentrate on the interview!!!! We finished in about 10 minutes and left the daughter still on the couch....So those parents must have had similar experience with their daughter.

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Starting at about age 6 or 7 I became interested in what girls looked like while watching my aunt put a swim suit on my 4 year old cousin Gwen and wondered if older girls looked the same, or different. In school (first or second grade) I was always on the lookout to look up my girl classmates dresses. Of course, they all wore panties, but I liked doing something naughty and forbidden. In winter the girls wore leggings under their dresses (they were sort of like ski pants). When they'd sit on the floor, pull up dresses, and squirm all around to pull off (or put on) their boots and leggings I almost always got a peek of the girl's panties!

The next year my friend Jeff and I used to go down in his cellar and show each other our penises, sometimes inserting (very carefully!) small twigs up inside of them. We'd make up stories about how a bad man would kidnap some girls, take them to an old shack in the woods, strip them and tie them up. We didn't know enough about sex to take this fantasy any further, though! Jeff had an older sister, Laurie, 15 or 16, and we'd sneak into her bedroom to look at her bras, and plan how we could put a small hole in the wall to watch her change, but we never did. Jeff had seen his sister in her underwear lots of times, of course, but I was never that lucky.

I asked Jeff how many girls he'd seen undressed. I forget the number, but it turned out he'd played doctor with a girl I didn't know (and I forget her name, now) who lived the next block over. I talked him into taking me along to visit her, and soon the three of us were out in the woods behind her house. At first she was shy and wouldn't play, but wanted to hear our naughty stories about girls being kidnapped and stripped. We each took turns making up a story. She was ten, slightly older than Jeff and I, and more worldly wise as it turns out. Her story was about her big sister getting fucked by her boyfriend on the couch in their basement rec room while their parent's were at work. Neither Jeff nor I knew what fucking was, she had to explain it's when a boy puts his thing up a girl's butt, which we thought highly unlikely, and probably impossible.

Anyway, I guess she felt she knew me better after that because we all went into a space in the middle of a big bush that was growing out in the woods and took turns being the doctor while the other two were the patients. Her slit was more pronounced then my little cousin Gwen's had been.

After that I talked another girl, Laurie (not my friend's older sister, another Laurie, a year younger than me) into pulling her pants down in a pipe under the road that a creek ran through, and I showed her my penis in return. And later I got to see my cousin Gwen's (now two years older) pussy again, plus a few more girls, mostly little sisters of friends of mine.

My family moved to a new neighborhood when I was ten. After a while a friend of my Mom's came to visit with her daughter Karen, a few months younger than me. Soon we were up in my room, playing doctor. Karen had long blonde hair and wore a pair of red shorts, which, along with her panties, were soon down around her ankles as she got her 'physical'. When it was time for her to check me, she actually touched my penis, holding it gingerly between her fingers and sliding my foreskin back and forth. (up to then there'd been no touching, only looking, in all my games). After that, I got up the nerve to touch her, too, rubbing my fingers up and down on her slit. We played some more after that and I wished her mother would have stopped by to visit more often!

This one kid I met in the new neighborhood shared a bedroom with his nine year old younger sister, Betsy, and told us how she'd pull up her nightgown and let him look between her legs with a flashlight when their parent's thought they were sleeping. He brought her out to our fort in the woods, where she turned out to be a brazen little exhibitionist, taking her pants and panties completely off, sitting down with legs spread wide and leaning back exposing her little pussy slit to us, even showing how she could push a popsicle stick part way up inside herself! A year or so later, after we learned how to masturbate, her brother told us Betsy used to climb into his bed and give him a hand job and this other kid said he and her brother even fucked her in their tool shed once. The whole family moved away shortly thereafter, so I was never able to verify those stories, but from what I saw those time in the woods, it's probably true.

Other than Betsy, I didn't have much luck with the girls in my new neighborhood. I think at eleven and twelve they were old enough to be more cautious about sex, no one wanted a bad reputation. This one girl across the street, Katie, liked to tease a lot, doing cartwheels in her school dress, knowing full well we could all see her panties, but when I took her in the tent we'd set up in my friend's back yard she wouldn't do anything more. However, after she'd had her tonsils out I visited Katie while she recuperated. She sat up in bed wearing a sleeveless nightie and the whole time I was there I was looking straight in under her arm where I could see her little boobs, just starting to grow, nipples all swollen and puffy. I jerked off while thinking about peeking at Katie's little boobs for months afterward

When I was thirteen a daughter of another of my mother's friend came to live with us for a few months. Sheila had just graduated high school, she was probably about 18 or 19. I quickly discovered that she never bothered to close the upstairs bathroom window curtain after her shower. First she'd dry off back from the window, so I couldn't see from outside, putting on a pair of black panties and black bra she was fond of wearing, and then stand at the mirror, right next to the window, brushing and teasing her bouffant hair do for at least ten or fifteen minutes. Of course I always choose to 'take the trash out' right about then. I'd stand out in our backyard behind some bushes, about 30 feet away, looking up at her well endowed figure in the bathroom window, masturbating madly until my cum shot out all over the ground, imagining I was rubbing my penis on her gorgeous tits. Sheila also would walk around the house wearing a sheer slip when my parent's weren't home, much to my delight I could see her bra and panties right through it. At the time I thought I was just lucky, but in retrospect I bet she knew exactly what she was doing!

After about the age of 13 or 14 I became more emotional. I wanted to become romantically involved with my partners before getting their pants off, which is probably a sign of starting to mature. Oh, sure, I still had (and have!) fantasies of mindless sex, with no consequences, but somehow having a *real* partner to share sex, and other experiences with, seemed like a more worthwhile goal. From time to time as a teen and adult I've had the chance to fool around with a girl that I'd just met, and didn't. I always wonder afterward if something is wrong with me, I mean, what guy in his right mind would turn down a chance to bed a pretty girl he just met, and would never see again? At any rate, keeping chaste is certainly safer, what with STDs and such. And one of my cousins had a brief affair with a girl and she stalked him for years afterward!

I guess childhood sex experimentation with our peers is a part of growing up, nature's way to let us experiment a little, before we move on to the romantic, emotional bonding stage where we search out a life partner. I look back fondly on my times playing doctor, and other sex games, as a kid; It was a wonderful carefree time that helped me develop into a mature (hopefully) 'normal' adult.

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I was born in 1969. White gay male.

Most of childhood curiosity was concentrated towards boys. To this day, I still wonder if it has influenced my sexual orientation. My father caught me twice at sex play. The first time in the yard shed when I was playing butt games with a 3 y/o vietnamese boy. I was the same age. We often sought a hideout to rub our fannies. Roll miniature cars on our smooth asses. I can even recall the time we locked ourselves in his bedroom to fondle our buns and his parents banged on the door, utterly panicked. My dad didn't think much of it. We never really talked about sex throughout my life.

The second time dad caught me was when I started jacking off. It happened when I was around six. It didn't deter my compulsion to play with my penis. I made sure my knees were up under the covers so the movement of my hand was not discernable. Even at that tender age, I had amazing orgasms. I played the typical 'show me yours, I'll show mine' games with all the kids in my entourage. With my female cousin who was a year older. Neighborhood girls. I managed to make a male cousin one year younger drop his pants in a closet at a christmas reunion. I also took a bath with that boy when I was around eight. He was circumcized and it bothered me. My foreskin was tight and I guess I was jealous of his dick. Eventually, I had to have the surgery at eleven.

I always felt ashamed because I was the one taking all the iniatives. My best friend was named Philip and wasn't very receptive to my advances. He wore only his briefs in the house every summer which gave me boners from time to time. Our folks were working and we basically were left on our own. We found his dad's porno mags when were both ten. We got stiffies and rubbed them together. Then moved on to mutual masturbation and giving each other blow jobs. We didn't do that a lot though. Since he was quite embarassed about it.

Philip disappeared from my life at twelve. He blamed me from not locking his bike at the public pool. His dad belted him for that and he was royally pissed at me. I spent most of my time with a schoolmate named Bruno from then on. The kid was really cute and I fell in love. He was extremely skinny. I overpowered him every time we wrestled on the carpet. His defence was trying to kiss me on the mouth. I would avoid his lips, afraid to be labeled a homo.

One time, when we were ruffhousing we assessed our mutual state of arousal in our shorts. I always thought he was innocent and naive. But shortly after we were both half-naked touching our penises. I had sex repeatedly with that boy. He told me he had done stuff already with a kid up the street. Gradually we began sucking each other and having anal sex. Stangely, buttfucking wasn't a big thing between us. Almost a game. He entered the 7th grade at a different school and we slowly parted.

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If I receive a lot of similar stories from other authors and readers, I'll post a sequel to this ...

so email me your story at kyoushuman@hotmail.com

Do it now while the memory and feelings are fresh in your mind!