I have always had a fascination with the concept of rape and why
men sometimes resort to an act such as that. Those men, who do
rape as in threatening to do bodily harm, kill, mutilate,
humiliate and/ or whatever you want to call it are sick and
should be put away. Child molesters well that's a different
story, I think they should not only be castrated but the cock
should be cut off too.


If my experiences had been different than what they were and I
had been truly threatened with bodily harm, beaten or worse
mutilated etc. my thoughts on the subject would not be what they
are now.


I have never communicated with any woman who was "raped" in the
true sense of the word and asked her very personal questions
about it. I can only relate to my own experiences for my writing.
I would at some point like to write anonymously to someone that
did go through the terrifying experience and ask some very
personal questions about the rape. I am curious as to how the
mind and body reacted.


It is unlikely that will ever happen though.  No one likes to
relive a terrifying experience and that is what I would be asking
them to do.  An attorney could never ask unethical questions of
someone like that.


Some may say nonconsensual sex is by definition rape.  It is as
defined by law.  I think in my mind there is a difference.  There
are a lot of gray areas.  The question is, was it nonconsensual
when the act ended?  In other words, how did one feel during and
after the act?  In my experiences, it may have started out as
nonconsensual but it was consensual by the time it ended. Thus, I
can only relate to how my body and mind reacted to my experiences
and mine alone.


The two actual times I experienced nonconsensual sex, once early
in my life and the other time with Michael on my parent's farm,
wasn't what I would have considered "rape" in the true since of
the word.  The acts were done in a very controlled environment
and there was no real bodily or threat of bodily harm.  Yes I had
fears in the beginning, but through it all, I did not have any
fear of being killed or harmed in any other way nor did I have
any fear my parents would be harmed. In time I enjoyed the
experiences. Would I file charges? Absolutely not!  Therefore I
don't consider the experiences I had to have been rape.


Michael used the nonconsensual act of group sex to get control
over me for his own selfish purpose but in the end, I discovered
what I had always known and that is I love having sex almost to
the point to say I have an addiction to it.


I'm not saying it is ok for men to go around having nonconsensual
sex with women (raping them), they shouldn't.  All you really
need to do is impress us, show us tenderness and affection, and
demonstrate to us that you are indeed the one to bed us. We will
lead you to the bed.


I'm sure that there are women that will take me to task for what
I have written here.  They will have valid points I am sure. 
Still I can only relate to my experiences and how my body and
mind reacted to them.



Now on to the story...The use of a shock collar intrigued me so I
used it in this story.  It is all fantasy, my fantasy.

Sara




                           The Redwoods

I have a special place where I go hiking and camping in secret
when life gets too hectic for me.  I go there to hide, to get
away from it all for a week or longer if I can.  It is inside the
Redwood State Park in Northern California. It is a very special
spot accessible only from behind a locked gate on private land. 
From where I park my car and begin hiking into the park, it is
over a two mile walk along hidden animal trails.  The car is well
hidden and the trails are well hidden, known only by me.


It is a fairyland in there, amongst the big trees, tall ferns and
other forest growth.  I am well hidden, even from the park
employees as I believe no one has ever been to this part of the
park.   I'm sure it has been surveyed but there are no developed
trails here, only animal trails.  When there I am alone to
daydream and hide from my problems.  I try to go there at least
once a year during the summer when it is warm.  I have been doing
this since my high school years when I rediscovered the place, a
place my grandfather had taken me when I was a child.


I am getting ready to go there now, packing the supplies that I
will need for a week.  I am excited to finally be able to get
away.  I am stressed out from work and a recent breakup.  Well,
that was four months ago but I knew that would happen sometime,
the breakup.  I just wasn't ready for it. It had been a long
relationship, six years in fact.  He had been my first lover, the
guy that had first seduced me.  His oral talents had always
driven me to sexual exhaustion and when he would finally enter
me, he would finish me off.  Because of his marriage I had been
seeing him only about once a week.  I had been trapped in the
relationship because of how good the sex was. He was also getting
very possessive, wanting me to stop taking the pill and get
pregnant.  I think he wanted to own me that way, knowing my
parents and family would disown me.  He would have total control
of me then and I would be his sex slave.  It's not that I hadn't
thought about it, I actually was his sex slave in a way but not
that way, giving up my family and the life I wanted.  He had
gotten a transfer to another state and wanted me to move also.  I
refused.


Well that was four months ago and there was no man in my life
now, none really wanted either.  My work took over and filled up
most of my time.  I took on extra pro bono cases which took my
mind off of sex for the most part.  I also had gained a little
weight, a few extra pounds and got on this total body cleansing
diet.  I went off the pill too, just after the breakup, to get
back into my natural body cycle.  I felt better because of it
although I wondered if it might not be a wise decision. I was
running and exercising more too.  I really had no free time and
looked forward to this trip.


I had met a guy in Australia on line through e-mail from one of
the sites I had been writing stories to and that was something I
was stressed out about too.  I didn't know what to do about that.
 He was an older man, older than the one I had just broken up
with although not by much.  I really didn't want to get involved
with another older man even if he was a hunk and interesting.  
He said he was looking for someone to settle down with at least
that was what he told me.


Being only 24, I wasn't ready to settle down although when I did
I wanted someone closer to my age.  Not an old man.   I really
needed this escape to think this all out.


I had made several mistakes when e-mailing him.  I had chatted
too much about what I looked like and where I liked to go and do.
 I told him some of the stories I had written were somewhat true.
Like where I lived and that I was somewhat a nudist.  I had even
sent him several pictures of me, one of my face and one a back
shot of me nude.  Thinking about it now, I do think that might
have been a mistake.  He promised he would never show them to
anyone.  I hoped he was true to his word.  He had sent me several
pictures too, one of his face and one of his hard cock, showing
me what I did to him.  I was impressed although felt a little
foolish doing the picture thing.


One of the places I told him about was this hidden place in the
Redwoods I liked to hike into.  I even told him how to get there
thinking he would never come here to see me.  That was part of
our agreement.  We were to just be e-mail buddies and would never
see each other. Was it my fault the messages between us had
gotten so sexual and explicit?  He kept describing how hard I
made him when he thought of me and I wrote to him.  It was the
same for me.  He made me so horny when I read what he wrote.  I
always had to do something about it like play with my toys.

Toys weren't going on this trip though.  It would just be me. I
thought about that, taking my vibrator but the batteries just
wouldn't last and I didn't want to pack the number that I would
probably need.  There would be too much weight as it was and I
didn't want to pack out a bunch of dead batteries. I try to pack
light, just enough freeze dried food and clothes to last the week
or two if I wished, mostly food though.  When I am hidden like I
planned to be, clothes were optional.  Of course I had to have
the other essentials like a tent and small one burner white gas
stove along with a sleeping bag and cooking utensils. I even
packed a telescoping fishing pole for some trout I hoped to
catch.  Camp fires were out of the question due to the smoke and
possibility of it being seen.  I didn't want to be found.  I did
in the past, take a Garmin GPS unit and mapped where I parked and
again where I would be camping.  I left the coordinates in an
envelope on my kitchen table for my parents to find if I didn't
call them when I was supposed to.  The gadget was great and I
used it to find the way in and out if I lost the trails.


I had described a lot of my fantasies to him too.  Most of my
stories described my fantasies. I tried to live them by placing
myself into them.  One fantasy that I wasn't sure I told him
about was me being taken in the woods by a stranger and made a
sex slave.  I couldn't remember.  I thought I may have but
thoughts run together.  One story I did write was of me being
raped by two guys along a river bank.  It wasn't a good story,
one of the first I had written but still, it was a fantasy.  Rape
was a real fantasy of mine although I'm not sure I would want
that to happen with all the strange people around today.  It
could be scary and dangerous.  My fantasies mostly involve good
looking hunks that are real dreams and would only have wild sex
with me and not really hurt me.  I would be scared shitless if I
did encounter a stranger for real and was raped. What girl really
wants something like that to happen?  It would be the worst
nightmare ever to happen.  I have met plenty of strange men as an
attorney and some of them are damn scary, crazy even and probably
wouldn't hesitate to kill.


Anyway, I pack a snub-nose .38 special.  I am licensed and it
goes with me most everywhere.  I'm an expert shot, have been
since I was first able to hold a gun as a child.  I also pack a
.25 auto that is well hidden somewhere on my body that I can get
to fast and easy. This goes with me when I hike alone if I don't
have my 38. It is light enough that I wear it in an ankle holster
or an arm band if that is all I am wearing.  Safety first I say.


I have everything packed and in the car and waiting for morning.
It will take about 5 hours to drive and I want to leave early.  I
am anxious and fidget as I watch the news and weather.  The
weather will be warm and dry for the next several weeks.  I think
about what I am going to do while am hidden in the fantasy land I
will be in.  I love being nude while swimming in the hidden pools
of the cold creek, lying on the sun baked gravel bars warming up
from the cold water while working on a tan and while I explore
the hidden secrets of this delightful place. I'm more excited
than ever just thinking about it.


I was also taking a good thick novel I wanted to read while not
exploring.  This trip was about relaxing and I was determined to
do it.  I hardly slept when I finally went to bed anxious to
begin this new adventure.  I had scheduled the trip around my
cycle wanting to be sure my period was over.  I had read many
stories of women being attacked by bears and knew of one actual
instance where a woman that was on a trail crew was attacked in
her sleeping bag during the night by a bear.  That attack was
attributed to her having her period. I was glad mine had just
gotten over although I still had light spotting.  This was going
to be in bear country and I didn't want to worry about something
like that.  I had encountered bears before and normally the bears
were shy and would run away.


Morning came early; I had set my alarm clock for 4 AM. I showered
and while drying, I admired my slim body in the mirror.  I
started to rub some lotion over me when I decided against it and
scraped what I had in my hand into a cup.  Rubbing lotion over my
body was a habit I had gotten into every morning after my shower
and wasn't wise to do if one is going hiking.  The sweet smell
would attract bees, mosquitoes and other creatures. Still after
wiping the smelly stuff off my hand and washing it, I continued
to admire my body and loved caressing it running my hands over
the sensitive spots and watched as my breasts responded, the
nipples hardening.  My hands left there and slid down past my
smooth flat stomach and cupped my freshly shaved mound.  I
slipped a finger between already moistening lips and hesitated
there as it found my rapidly swelling very sensitive button.  I
began to rub lightly as light waves of pleasure shot from there
awakening my woman hood even more.  I could feel the lips hiding
my deep dark tunnel of love swell and spread, opening me for the
hard cock that wasn't there to enter me.  The release hit me hard
and my knees slightly buckled as the waves of pleasure washed
over me.  As the spasms slowed, I thought to myself that the
pleasure had to be increased due to my planned trip.  I slipped
back into the shower and rinsed.  Patting myself dry once again,
I dressed in a t-shirt, panties and shorts.  Hiking boots went on
my feet with heavy merino wool socks. I was ready, I would grab
breakfast along the way and locked up the house and went on my
way...


I arrived at the locked gate ahead of the schedule I had set and
quickly opened it after looking around and finding no one
watching.  I didn't want any one seeing me going in there.  Not
that I would get into trouble about it, my grandfather had logged
most of this country in the old days and I was still friends with
the land owners. Still, I didn't want anyone to see me go in
there and possibly follow me.  I didn't want to take any chances.



I didn't notice the tire tracks of the motor bike that had gone
around the gate and driven up the road.  I quickly drove through
and locked the gate behind me.  It would be another 20 or so
miles before I would leave this road and hide my car and begin my
hike into my fantasy fairy land.  That's what I thought of it, my
own personal fantasy fairy land.  In my excitement I didn't
notice or hear the bike following me.  I was looking for cars. 
It was another hour and a half when I found the place to pull off
the road.  It was an old skid trail that went behind part of a
brush and tree overgrown pile of dirt.  Luckily, I had a hand saw
that I used to cut away some brush and trees that hid the trail
so I could get the car hidden.  Working furiously to get the car
hidden, I didn't hear or see anyone approach.   It took a while
to get the car parked and the trail again hidden with the cut
trees and brush.  Done, I unloaded the car and strapped on my
pack and began hiking in.


The person following me slipped the bike beside my car and began
following.


I was careless, I heard sounds behind me but I didn't stop and
listen or watch.  I attributed those sounds to the normal sounds
of the forest, squirrels rustling leaves, deer snapping twigs,
birds fluttering through the trees.  All normal forest sounds. I
was very careless and in a hurry.  The sounds of my walking hid
the rest.  I kept loosing the trails and had to rely on my Garmin
to find my way.  I was too rushed and kind of panicked. 
Everything looked different, more overgrown than I remembered.  I
wanted to get to the campsite and get setup before dark so I was
careless.


I was glad when I finally arrived.  It was sooner than I expected
with all the trouble I was having following the trails.  I
quickly set up camp, hiding my tent amongst the ferns.  I was
glad it was camouflaged and hid well.   I hated the bright colors
most nylon tents were made from now days.  How do you hide them?
Camp was near the pool that somehow had gotten bigger and deeper
since I had been there last.  I quickly discovered some
enterprising beavers had dammed the stream making a nicer pool. 
Wanting to strip and go for a swim I decided better of it for
now.  Looking around I decided I had better do some exploring to
make sure I was alone.  I didn't want to strip and then discover
someone else there with me.   I spent the next hour checking the
place out.  I finally decided no one else was about or had ever
been there.  The forest was mine.  I made my way back to my camp
and decided it was time to strip and swim.  I removed my boots
and socks and pulled off my shorts.  I was pulling my t-shirt
over my head when I felt a sting.  I don't know what happened
after that, my head got a little woozy but when I woke up I found
myself tied.  My hands were above my head stretched out to each
side and tied to this low hanging limb and my feet were stretched
out to the sides and tied, effectively spreading me. My t-shirt
was off but I was still wearing my panties.  I was groggy and
hanging there even though my feet were on the ground.  A sound
behind me startled me awake.


"Ahh, you're finally awake.  You weren't out long."


I jerked my head to the side to see behind me.  "Who are you, let
me go."  I could just make out this man behind me and was
startled even more when he walked into view.  Fear shot through
me.  He was a scruffy bearded balding man that looked like some
that I'd seen going through the court system, one that wouldn't
hesitate to hurt or kill.  A shudder shook me as I looked around
for some way to get away.  My guns had been tossed aside.  I was
helpless.  I knew then this was going to be my worst nightmare
and wondered if he would kill me when he was finished with me.  I
knew what he wanted.  Every woman does when faced with a
situation like this, rape and then usually death.  I only hoped
it would be fast.


Still, I was hoping this was a dream, a nightmare.  Did I lie
down and fall asleep and am I now having a nightmare?  That
thought left me when he approached me and cupped one of my
breasts.  I shuddered at his touch.


"Such lovely little tits," he said as he leaned in and took one
between his lips and sucked as his fingers tweaked the nipple of
the other.


"Oh god please don't do this," I pleaded as he sucked harder and
pinched harder.  "Please don't do this," I repeat again and
again.


"Relax Sara baby, you're going to get better than this."


He had this funny accent I didn't recognize at the time.  I was
so scared.  "Please let me go."  I again pleaded.  I was hoping I
could talk him into letting me go, to not hurt me.  It was when
he pulled out this enormous knife and held it to one breast that
I got the biggest scare.  I knew then he would use it.  I closed
my eyes and prayed.  I opened them when he removed the knife.  He
was kneeling between my legs and as he pulled at the waistband of
my panties, he slit them with the knife, cutting them free.  I
was pleading with him now, barely a whisper, "Please don't do
this, please let me go."


It did no good.  He grabbed my hips and pulled me into him, his
lips and tongue attacking me. I tried to fight him, to ignore
what he was doing, fear shaking me as I pleaded with him.  My
body and mind at first tried to fight but soon gave in to his
tongue.  Spasms soon shook me as the first orgasm washed over me.
 I gripped the limb over my head to help hold me as my knees
weakened.  My body had given me to him. It was a natural act; it
is what the body does.


"God Sara, your pussy is so sweet," he said as he rose up and ran
his hands all over me, caressing me roughly across my trembling
belly and began sucking and biting on my nipples as he scratches
along my back and nibbles on my neck. I try to cringe away,
spiting on him, hating his filthy touching, tears finally seeping
from my eyes.  Sobs rack me.  I can't hold them back.


He begins laughing at me while making me watch him as he slowly
takes off his clothes like he is having fun teasing me. I try not
to look at him but I can't.  My eyes are drawn to his cock, his
rapidly hardening cock. I watch as the muscle pulses and becomes
fully engorged.  It sticks straight out, the enlarged head
purplish and menacing, the eye glaring at me, wanting me. 
Undressed, he again attacks my breasts with his mouth and hands
and licks his way down past my belly to my mound and inserts
several fingers into me and fucks me that way. My pleading dies
away as I try to escape in my mind.  I try to think of better
things but his roughness brings me back into reality.


He tires of the finger fucking after a while and stands again and
forces me into a kiss as the menacing head of his hardness
presses against my swollen lips and clit.  I shudder and cringe
as I feel him and try to move my pussy away from him.  I am
powerless and can't move as he grabs my hips and holds me.  I
wonder when he will do it, when he will finally shove himself in
and take me.  He thrusts his groin at me, his swollen head
sliding and parting my swollen lips and almost enters me as it
slides across my opening.  I cringe and move my hips from his
grasp at the same time and it slips by and only the shaft remains
between my swollen lips.  He keeps thrusting letting me ride him
this way, allowing my moisture to slicken his swollen member.  I
wonder how long I can resist before I plead for him to enter me.


Now it is like he is teasing me as he slides around to my back
and places his warm body against mine. I feel my heart racing, my
body shivering in both fear and anticipation.  He nibbles on my
neck and lightly scratches my back and along my sides making my
skin crawl with disgust.  I feel his hardness as he presses his
body against mine and it slips between my ass cheeks and down
between my legs.  He rubs the shaft against my swollen lips like
he did before.  I'm quiet now, no longer sobbing, crying or
pleading for him to stop.  I just want him to get it over with.
His hands are now scratching along my breasts, sides and stomach
and one finds its way to my mound and again attacks my clit.  I
tremble as he roughly rubs it with several fingers and I cry out
as another orgasm builds and hits and my body quivers.  He is
having fun and lets me know as he whispers in my ear that he is
going to fuck me soon.


As he nibbles and lightly scratches me, he again moves around to
my front and kisses and nibbles his way down from my face, neck,
breasts, belly and mound.  He is again on his knees in front of
me, his mouth and tongue again exploring my love mound.  I can no
longer resist and I thrust out my hips to give him better access.
Slipping his tongue into my wetness, he spreads my swollen lips
and finds my clit.  I moan and shudder at the same time while he
takes his fingers and spreads my swollen pussy and gives himself
access to all of my hidden delights.  He sucks and drinks deeply
flicking my love spot with his tongue making me tremble and moan
louder as he inserts several fingers and rubs my g-spot.  I
shudder as another orgasm begins. He sucks on my clit and love
nest even harder as I jerk and spasm and release more of my
juices.


When my release subsided, he moved his mouth back up my stomach
to my breasts while placing the head of his cock between the
swollen lips of my pussy and against my opening.   He suddenly
thrust his hips upward and enters me, plunging in deeply.


I let out a muffled scream with the hard sudden entry as he
bottomed out and pounded me with several hard thrusts.  Then he
stops and holds himself still as he pulls my hips into him and
holds me still.  He mutters, "God I've wanted you for such a long
time.  I almost came.  It is too soon."


I didn't understand what he said.  I was lost in fear and lust
and moan as I can feel another orgasm building as he held me
tightly.   I feel his cock spasm and do a few soft jerks as he
holds his full release back and he releases a little pre-cum into
me.  That sends me over and I try to milk him as my orgasm
spreads through me.   He holds himself still as the last of my
orgasmic spasms ends and slowly pulls out.  I don't understand
and I moan as he slips free, now I hear myself begging him not to
stop.


He moves around behind me and places himself back against my
opening and suddenly thrusts back into me.  This time he is in a
position where he can play with and caress my clit with his
fingers as he slowly thrusts into me.   Again he brings me to
climax and I hang there weak with exhaustion.  Still he hasn't
cum in me.  I beg him to fill me.


He holds me still until my orgasm is over and then unties me and
lays me on the moss on my back.  I am now looking at him with
desire as he places himself between my legs, leans down over me
and again enters me.  This time I beg him to fill me with his
cum.    He slowly thrusts into me, kissing me all the while as he
approaches his release.  I feel him getting close as his body
stiffens and he whispers to me that he is going to cum.   I hold
him and wrap my legs around him as he thrusts in deep one last
time and explodes.  I feel him emptying as his cock jerks and
pumps his cum into me.  I hold him on to him tightly with my arms
and legs as he moans in his release.  It is heavy and I feel it
filling me and seeping around his cock.

I didn't understand my change in feelings, my fear of rape, the
hate I felt toward my rapist changing into a feeling of lust.  Is
this the body's way of trying to survive?  Is this an imaginary
act of hope?  If I give in "willingly" will I get a chance to get
away?
His weight was crushing me, making it hard to breathe.  I could
feel his cock softening and his cum seeping from me and running
down my ass.  What do I do Sara, I kept asking myself?  Do I push
him off and try to get away?  Where are my guns?  I glanced
around trying to see if I could see some sort of a weapon to use,
a stick, club or anything.  Where was his knife?


He rose up onto his knees and looked at me, his cock pulling
free.


"Fuck that was good.  I'm going to keep you around for a while. 
You got a tight sweet pussy."


He reached behind him where his clothes were and grabs this thick
strap and quickly fastens it around my neck.


"This is to keep you from trying to get away.  We're gonna have
fun for the next two weeks Sara."  My hands went to it and I felt
it, not knowing what it was or what it was for.


I tried not to look at him.  He was now kneeling over me on his
hands and knees, his beard, covered with my wetness, was slimy
and matted.  I was repulsed and looked past his face down at his
cock.  When he pulled free a slimy trail of cum had hung from it
and trailed across my mound and I watched as it still oozed and
dripped down onto my stomach. It felt cold and I shivered with
the feeling of coldness.  He was still talking to me; I scarcely
listened as I watched mesmerized as more cum oozed and dripped
onto me.  I was wondering why it was doing that, why it was not
all inside me when something he said brought me back.


I looked at him puzzling at what he said.  How did he know I
would be here and for the next two weeks?  His accent, where was
he from?  How did he know my name? I remembered he had said it
several times before, when he had first tied me up and when he
was tonguing me.  I just didn't hear it at the time, it didn't
register with me.


He sounded Australian, like the guy in the ad for the Outback
Steak House.  I didn't know anyone from Australia so he was a
stranger. What was he saying, it's a shock collar?  Why was he
saying my name? I didn't tell him my name.  Everything was fuzzy
to me.  I didn't understand any of this.


I looked back down at the cold ooze on my stomach and noticed his
cock beginning to twitch.  It was again growing, filling with
blood and getting hard.  It was shinny, still covered with the
moisture of cum.  It twitched more rapidly and harder as it grew
to full hardness. I didn't try to move or get away.  I just
watched thinking, how could it get hard so soon?


He had risen up onto his knees and was looking down at me and
caressing the sides of my hips with his hands as he knelt there
between my legs, watching me stare at his cock.


He had this smile on his face as he said, "You want more don't
you babe."


There was no hesitation on his part when he gripped his cock and
guided it to my opening and plunged in.  I was still wet and
slimy from his cum so entry was easy and fast.  He drove in hard
and went at me like a jackhammer, while grabbing my knees and
pushing them up to my shoulders.  He was hurting me pounding into
me so hard.  I was moaning, almost screaming for him to stop but
he still went at me stopping only to occasionally catch his
breath or rest.  Sweat was dripping down onto me when he finally
shoved in hard and grunted as he came.  There was no release for
me this time; there was no pleasure in the pounding he gave me.


He dropped my legs down to his sides as he collapsed down on me
and rested, his sweaty body laying on mine.   This time he did
not rise up but kept me under him as he rested.  No words were
spoken.  He seemed to doze and I hesitated to move.  I didn't
want to wake him up for fear what he might do to me.  Although he
had made no attempt to hurt me other than give me a sexual
pounding, I was still fearful he would kill me when he was
through with me.  I had to stay alive.


He rested on me for what seemed like hours, but it was only for a
short time.  The sweat on our bodies had dried and the slime in
his beard had stiffened it when he started to move.


"MMMMM, you feel so soft under me."  He stated as he rose up and
looked at me.


I turned my head looking away from him, not wanting to look at
him as I felt something twitching between my legs.  He was
growing hard again; I felt the head of his growing cock as it
slid in the slime that was oozing from me.  Oh god I thought,
when will he have enough or tire of me?


He had started shifting his weight, his hips and groin trying to
accommodate his growing cock. I grimaced as his swollen head
found my opening and slid in.  This time he slid in slowly like
he was savoring the entry.  He grabbed my hands and held them
above my head as he lay on me, slowly thrusting ever so slowly. 
Oh god I thought, this will drive me wild.  I tried to
concentrate on something else but my thoughts kept returning to
the feel of his cock as it slowly moved within me.  I wondered
how long he could do this and delay his release, if his slow
thrusting would bring me to orgasm.  I didn't want him to know he
was giving me pleasure and tried to fight the feelings.



I couldn't, my body was giving me away. My hips were soon rolling
upward to meet him.  There were also sounds, moans coming from
deep within me that I tried to muffle but I couldn't.  I could
feel the pleasurable tension building.  I knew I would orgasm.  I
couldn't stop it.  There was no way I could.  I tried biting my
tongue when it was getting close but soon a loud moan escaped my
lips and my body began quivering, spasms wracking me.  I tried to
squeeze my legs together to stop it but it was too late.


"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhha."  It hit hard and when he
stiffened and shoved in hard I knew he was coming too.  That
somehow intensified my own pleasure.  I was exhausted now,
needing rest, low satisfied moans still coming from my throat as
I slowly drifted off.


I must have dozed hard for half an hour or more.  I didn't awaken
when he had rolled off of me but when he nudged me with his foot
I awoke with a start.  I cringed into a ball afraid he would kick
me.


"Get up, Get up and clean yourself up."  He nudged me again with
his foot.


When I looked up at him, he held out his hand and leaned down and
grabs one of mine and pulls me up.  I let him, very aware that we
were still nude.  I kind of made the effort to hide myself but
gave up when I really didn't have anything to hide my nudeness
with.  Besides, he had already seen me and raped me several
times.  Why hide?  I had noticed he had already cleaned himself
up and was pushing me towards the beaver pond, a towel in one
hand and a bar of soap in the other.  He was watching me closely
from behind and stopped me before I had walked very far.


"No, not yet," he said as he grabbed me by the arm and said, "Get
down on your hands and knees."



At first I didn't understand what he wanted but did as I was
told.  I new what he was going to do when I looked back at him
and saw he was hard.  He positioned himself behind me and forced
his way into me.  It wasn't really forcing though.  I was still
slimy from the earlier fucking.  He rode me like I was a bitch
dog.  I wanted to fight it at first but decided it felt good and
let him have his way.  I didn't cum though.  He didn't last very
long and didn't lead me into the pleasure I would have liked.  I
decided it felt good though when he stiffened up and shoved in
deep and filled me.


I didn't understand these feelings, to be continually raped and
starting to like it.  I wondered what would happen later on. 
This was only the first day and I was already accepting my fate.
Would I still try to escape?  I didn't know.


Pulling out of me after he released his load of cum in me, he
helped me up and led me to the water.  Standing next to the water
he took off the collar saying it wouldn't do if it got wet and
happened to short out and tossed it down on the bank. He then led
me into the water where he very tenderly washed me all over. This
confused me even more.  This was my rapist and now he was
treating me like I was his lover. I wondered what he would be
like if he wasn't my rapist.  He even knelt down on his knees as
he washed me down there.  I thought he was going to eat me out
and I spread me legs and pushed out my pussy toward him and was
disappointed when he didn't.  He just soaped me down and rinsed
me.  He washed himself too.  Afterward we swam like we were old
friends.  He didn't talk that much and I was curious about that.


After the swim, he led me from the water and dried me down with
the towel, putting the collar back on.  I questioned him about
the collar.  I didn't remember what he had said about it.


"It's a shock collar.  If you try to escape, you will receive a
shock.  It is like a taser and it will paralyze you for a few
minutes.  It is controlled by a transmitter and as soon as you
get out of its range, you will receive shocks every 15 minutes. 
You can't escape it."


I thought about that as he took my hand and led me back to camp.
I needed to somehow get the collar off or find the transmitter
that controlled it and shut it off.  I also wanted to cover up
and put on clothes to hide my nudeness hoping it would get his
mind off of sex and went to the tent and started to dress but he
made me put them back.  I didn't protest his decision.  I didn't
want to anger him so I sat on a smooth log and watched him heat
water and fix our dinner.  Somehow, I needed to find a way to get
away.  I was afraid to test the collar in fear of what he said. 
I also didn't want to provoke him into harming me.


We ate in silence.  I kept watching him hoping I could find some
weakness, something he might over look that would help me escape.
 After eating, he cleaned up and it being late in the evening,
let me brush my teeth while he did his.  Then he took my hand and
led me into the tent.  It was made up as one bed, his sleeping
bag open and on the bottom and mine opened up and on the top.  We
were going to sleep together and I shuddered at the thought.  I
knew he would take me repeatedly during the night.  There was no
way I could stop it.


I lay down and quickly turned onto my side facing away from him
as he crawled in beside me.  It did no good as he pulled me onto
my back and laid a leg across mine and pinned my right arm
underneath him.  He then roughly began to caress me, rubbing and
tweaking my nipples, leaning in and sucking and biting on one. 
His right hand went between my legs and quickly started massaging
my pussy forcing a finger into my dryness and used his thumb to
roughly rub my clit.  At first, with the dryness, it hurt a
little but my body soon responded with moisture beginning to wet
me. As he continued, my body totally gave in and heat radiated
from there as blood rushed and swelled the lips guarding my
opening.  He began rubbing my clit harder as the moisture escaped
from me wetting his hand and fingers more and coated my entire
slit.  I couldn't hold back the orgasms that rushed through me as
wave after wave of pleasure thundered through as one orgasm
followed another.  I could hear someone moaning loudly, screaming
actually as my body quivered through each orgasm.  I didn't know
it was me screaming.  Soon, I was begging him to stop, I couldn't
take any more, my clit was too sensitive, it was hurting, and my
pussy felt like it was turning inside out.  I was drained and
begging him to fuck me to get him to stop.  I was begging him to
please fuck me.


He rolled up on top of me and entered slowly after my muscles
spasmed through the last orgasm and began slow thrusting.  It
felt so good to have him stop rubbing my clit with his fingers
and began rubbing it with the shaft of his cock.  I soon was in
the throes of another orgasm as I felt him stiffen and shove
himself in hard and deep and begin empting into me.  He kept
trying to push in deeper each time I felt his cock pulse and pump
more cum into me.  Still, I was relieved when he finished and
collapsed down on me and just lay there.  He was finished for now
and I could rest and think.  Soon he was snoring lightly.


I lay there wanting to get him off of me not knowing what to do.
I lightly nudged him with out waking him and soon had him rolled
off by slightly and very slowly repositioning my body.  Then I
lay there quietly.  My hands went to the strap around my neck
trying to find a way of opening the buckle or clasp that held it
together.  The collar was tight enough that I couldn't rotate it
far enough to get the clasp in front where I could work on it so
I had to leave it in the back.  Besides, there were two sharp
points digging into my neck that hurt when I tried to move it.  I
could feel no way to open clasp so trying to do that was of no
use.  If I could find a knife, I thought I could cut it off and I
started to very quietly feel around the darkened tent for his
knife and if I was lucky, one of my guns.


I moved slowly and quietly trying not to wake him and spent what
seemed like hours feeling around in the dark.  Every now and then
he would move or his breathing would change enough that it would
scare me and I would lay there still until I thought I was again
safe to resume searching.  Finally, after searching everywhere I
could in the tent, I lay back and cried.  I was afraid to try the
tent zipper for fear he would think I was trying to escape and
hurt me.

He awoke several times during the night and took me again and
again.  I was beginning to wonder if he would ever really tire
enough to stop.  I lay there thinking after the last time, since
I wasn't on the pill, if I would get pregnant.   I had been off
the pill for 4 months and my cycle wasn't quite stable.  I knew
the fertile time was anywhere between 7 and 17 days after having
a period, but then one report I read said there were very few
days, if any, that a woman was really safe.  If I was going to
have sex everyday for the next two weeks, I would get pregnant
for sure.


Still, if he was going to kill me, what did it matter?  If I did
get away, well I could do the same thing I did the first time I
started having unsafe sex as a teen.  I wondered if he would let
me go.  I nudged him awake and asked, "What are you going to do
with me after you are finished with me?"


I knew he was awake but all I got was silence.  I knew then what
my fate was.  He was going to kill me.  It was just a matter of
when.  I had to try to get away.  I don't know how long I lay
there quietly thinking of everything and nothing but as the night
began to lighten, I very quietly and slowly unzipped the tent and
made my escape from it.  Since the knife and guns were not in the
tent, they had to be hidden somewhere outside.  I had to look.  I
didn't zip the tent back up; afraid he would hear it and was
digging through the packs on my hands and knees when I hear him
behind me.


"Well now what a beautiful sight to wake up to."  He had gotten
down behind me and was as hard as a rock.  He grabbed my hips and
drove himself into me without much difficulty after he had
positioned himself.  Although I was still a little slimy from the
night activity, it still hurt a little.  He bottomed out hard and
began thrusting hard making me grunt with each inward thrust.  It
didn't take him long to cum as he thrust in hard the one last
time and began filling me again.  I could feel his cock flex with
each spurt and was glad when he finally withdrew.  He had not
held himself in until he softened and when he withdrew he
positioned himself at my ass and made like he was going to push
in.  I dreaded this thought and was afraid he was going to fuck
me in the ass too but he laughed and squeezed his cock enough to
push the remaining cum in it onto my butt.  With that he got up
and walked away a few steps and peed.   He hadn't concerned
himself that I had been digging through the packs.


He looked back at me and said, "The guns and knife are not in the
packs.  You will never find them."


Defeated, I sank down onto the packs and cried.  "Go get cleaned
up," he ordered after he watched me cry for a while.


I slowly walked to the creek, waded in and washed.  Finishing
that, I came back to the camp.  Defeated for now, all I could do
is watch, wait, and somehow hope I could find away to escape.


He repeated took me throughout the days and nights for the next
week, seemly only stopping long enough to gain back the energy to
do it again.  I was beyond caring now, and would present myself
to him whenever he ordered.  I was his slave, his to fuck
whenever and wherever.  It didn't matter what I was doing either.
 I had to stop and let him.  For now at least it was keeping me
alive.  I wondered when he would do it, kill me, hide my body and
disappear.


I was napping from exhaustion and hadn't seen him leave.  He had
disappeared for several hours now.  He wasn't in the camp.  I
watched for him thinking he was probably close by.  I thought he
was probably out looking for a place to bury my body and cowered
from him and tried to hide when I heard him approaching.  Only it
wasn't him or was it.  This man was nude sure but clean shaven. 
I didn't recognize him at first.  I couldn't believe what I was
seeing or who I was seeing.  I was in total shock.


"You don't know who I am do you?"



I was looking up at him in shock, staring.  "You son of a bitch,"
I screamed at him as I jumped up and hit him.  "You fucking son
of a bitch."  I was crying now, relief overpowering me as I
jumped into his arms hugging him.  My lips found his and we
kissed deeply.  When the kiss broke so I could catch my breath, I
jumped back and hit him in the chest.  "Gav, you basterd scaring
me like this.  I thought I was going to die."


He looked at me amused and said, "You told me several times in
our e-mails how you really would like to find out what it would
be like to be raped and scared out of your wits.  That it might
make you a better writer.  Well now you know."


I looked at him still angry and reflected on what he had just
said.  It was true.  That was what I had told him.   I at
sometime wanted to experience something like this but yet not
like this. "You shit," I said.  "I told you that something like
this would have to be thought through with known players.  My
idea was to have a close friend set up a controlled situation
someplace safe, not in some wilderness where the only thought I
would have in my head is that I would die.  I'm not even on the
pill!"


"Really, you're not on the pill?"


"Really you dickhead, I'm not on the pill, haven't been for 4
months.  I guess I'll work through that ok though.  There's time
for me to worry about that later."


"I'm sorry I upset you and did it this way but I had my reasons.
I thought about what you wanted and how you wanted it set up but
I decided I didn't want anyone else fucking you.  It had to be me
and this way.  If you had known I was coming, this wouldn't have
worked.  Now as it is, you really know what being raped is like
although in reality, you might have been beaten and injured.  I
found it very hard to try to keep this a realistic rape, me
wanting to be with you for so long and not hitting you as a real
rapist might."


"Its Ok you lug head, I forgive."  I reached out to him and
pulled him to me and in kissing, I pulled him to the ground and
lay back on the moss and guided him to me.  No longer fearing for
my life, the act was beautiful as he joined with me in a
beautiful orgasm.


We spent the remainder of the time exploring our little part of
the park, making love wherever we found ourselves at the time.  I
usually initiated the act now, climbing on top of him and taking
him or doing something to excite him like laying over a log
presenting myself to him or just grasping him to get him hard.


The sex was good.  Being with Gav was good and I was sad to see
the two weeks end.  We broke camp together and hiked out the last
day pretty much in silence. He had to go home, back to Australia,
me back to my life.   Sadly, it was a parting I hated but it had
to be.