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 THE FABULOUS FOUR

   (AND DOG)



   THE ADVENTURE OF THE WHITE PAPER

   Franny looked over the school fence at the daises and buttercups, white
and gold, highlighting the lush green grass.  A rabbit, nose twitching in
the air, waited for a moment then hopped gaily across the field.  Franny
smiled as she watched the fluffy bunny.  With a graceful spring rabbit
hopped again, and landed on an anti-personnel mine.

   BOOM!

   'Ah well' Franny thought, as she picked blood-wet fur from her hair,
'shouldn't have run across the school minefield.' She turned and skipped
gaily toward the main school buildings.

   That evening Franny had difficulty getting to sleep.  She was SO excited
about tomorrow - School Hols - at last.  She would see Dirk and Woolian,
and cousin Nigella again (oh and Himmy the dog).  School Hols - WOW.  Long
summer days, picnics and (she shuddered a bit and huddled a little further
under her covers) maybe AN ADVENTURE!  Franny turned over, wished she could
get to sleep, if only the Upper Sixth would stop torturing the first form,
their screams would stop, and she could get to sleep at last.

   Finally, Franny could see the cottage on the cliff top.  She had been so
excited when she got off the train that she hadn't waited for Mummy to come
to meet her, but had walked straight home; after all, it was only twenty
miles - nothing for a strapping young girl like herself.  Franny skipped
along the marsh path, through the briars and nettles up to the motorway
that ran behind their cliff top cottage.  'I must be brave' she thought
'I've been on absolutely LOADS of adventures, so a motorway is nothing.  Ha
to the cars, Ha to the lorrys - I'm one of the FABULOUS FOUR (oh yes and
the dog).' Franny skipped gaily across the six-lane ribbon of death and
jumped lightly over the 8-foot tall razor wire fence.  "Mummy!  Mummy!" She
called as she skipped in through the kitchen door.  "Mummy I'm home for the
HOLS!"

   "Oooh Arrr" said Mrs McTavish, their Welsh cook.  "Yer mother in the
lounge she be Oooh Arr." "Oh thank you Cooky" Franny said with a smile, she
was SUCH a polite girl.  "Arrr you to yer mother go, I'll call off the
police who be searching for thee."

   Franny ran to the lounge.  Her Mummy and Daddy were looking at the pale
of thick greasy black smoke that hung over the motorway.  "What do you
think happened, Lizzy?" She heard her father say.  "Hello Mummy; Hello
Daddy" Franny called as she skipped gaily into the large airy room. 
"That's what happened." Mummy and daddy said together.  "Er, um hello; er
Hanny?" Said Daddy, teasing her as usual.  "Oh Daddy...  You're such a
card! I'm FRANNY - Fanny with an R; FRANNY - " Franny giggled.  Mummy and
Daddy smiled, faintly, "Yes, of course, with an R; silly me." Said Daddy.
"Yes" said Mummy "Why don't you and the other girl; the strange one, go
upstairs and unpack while Daddy and I get Cooky to make us a lovely healthy
tea." Mummy continued edging behind the sofa as she blew Franny a kiss. 
"Oh is Nigella here already, how SUPER.  I'll go and see her at once." They
heard as Franny ran out of the room.

   Franny looked around for Nigella, her cousin.  Nigella didn't like being
a girl and was always proving that SHE was as good as any boy, at anything.
She could swim, run, jump and gut a pig as well as any boy.  Finally,
Franny found Nigella unpacking in Franny's bedroom.  "Hello Nigella" Franny
said as she entered the room.  Nigella grabbed Franny by the back of her
neck and dragged the smaller girl toward her.  "Ggggrrrrr..." Nigella
sounded from the back of her throat, looking Franny directly in the eye. 
Nigella locked her lips onto Franny's and her tongue thrust into Franny's
mouth.  'Oh Nigella DOES take this boy thing a bit too far' thought Franny.
Nigella broke the kiss and looked her cousin up and down.  With another
growl she ripped open Franny's blouse, scattering buttons around the room.
"BRA" Nigella grunted accusingly.  "Alright, silly.  I'll take it off.  You
know that GIRLS do wear bras all the time," Franny said.  As Franny reached
behind her Nigella took hold of the front of the offending article and,
with little apparent effort, ripped the bra right off Franny." "Oh you ARE
impatient, silly you," said Franny as she rubbed the burn marks on her
skin. Nigella wasn't listening as she had her lips locked onto Franny's
left nipple and was sucking furiously.  'Its NICE to know that some people
don't change,' thought Franny as she patted Nigella's head.

   Franny and Nigella came into the dining room.  Cooky had laid the table.
There were eggs, fried and devilled, chips, steaks, chops, thick black
pudding and garlic blood-sausage, bacon - its fat thick and crispy.  Beef
and lamb joints at either end of the groaning table were matched with
mashed potatoes thick with cream.  A large bowl of roast potatoes nestling
in a pool of beef dripping fought for space amongst the loaded tureens.  A
small bowl of grey vegetables, boiled until the last vitamin had given in,
was on one side.  Cream cakes and trifles, cheese and butter biscuits
waited for dessert.  "Ooo YUMMY!" said Franny and Nigella together.  "But
there's SO much.  If only the boys were here" said Franny sadly. 
"Gggggrrrrr" said Nigella.  Suddenly the door burst open.  "SURPRISE!"
cried Dirk and Woolian.

   "Oh Dirk, Oh Woolian, you're here!" cried Franny and she hugged Dirk. 
She looked at her older brother.  The skin grafts were working on his left
cheek (after he was burned during 'The Adventure Of The Missing
Plutonium'), and his longer hair almost covered his missing ear (which was
bitten off by a crocodile during 'The Adventure Of The Rabid Rodents Of
Rutland).  As she held his hand Franny hardly noticed the three missing
fingers ('The Adventure Of The Nuneaton Nuns', 'The Adventure Of The
Perilous Piranhas' and 'The Adventure Of The Resurrected Rapist') and his
glass eye matched his real eye perfectly, almost ('The Adventure Of The
Nuclear Nightmare in Nottingham').

   Franny turned to Woolian, her oldest brother.  She had looked up to him
for as long as she could remember (it had been quiet unusual having a
6-foot 4-inch 4 year old brother, but she had grown used to him).  Woolian
was almost a god.  So handsome it hurt.  Golden hair and skin that shone
like the sun.  250Lbs in weight, without an ounce of fat on his entire
body, muscles rippled under his skin with a life of their own.  He moved
with a grace that made cats clump away in shame.  Woolian has a 'presence'
that, well - it 'did things' to women, all women (except Franny and Nigella
of course, they were family - that would be RUDE).  Woolian grabbed Franny
and kissed her, deeply.  His tongue reaching almost to her ears.  He leaned
her backwards and thrust his hand up her skirt, a finger piercing through
her panties and spearing deep into her vagina (While HIS presence didn't do
anything to HER.  HER presence did LOTS of things to HIM).  'Oh not AGAIN,
I'm running out of panties, why can't he just move them to one side like
the others do' sighed Franny (though she did find it comforting that
Woolian still liked her).

   Mummy and Daddy came in to the dining room.  "Come on let's eat," said
Daddy.  Mummy looked at Woolian, "Gggggrrrrrrrr" said Mummy as she undid
the top button of her blouse.  They all sat down and the children dug into
the piles of food, meanwhile Cooky brought in a light salad each for Mummy
and Daddy.  Mummy slid closer to Woolian as she undid two more blouse
buttons.  She laid her hand on Woolian's thigh; high on his thigh.  Two
more buttons were opened then Mummy pulled off her blouse.  "Lizzy" said
Daddy as he reached over to pull up her blouse, Mummy back-handed him
casually and then flipped open the catch of her bra.  Topless now, Mummy
pushed Woolian back in his seat and sat astride him.  Dirk and Franny were
used Woolian having this effect on women and got on with their tea. 
Nigella moved over behind Mummy and, reaching around her, grabbed Mummy's
breasts while kissing and nibbling her neck.  Woolian finished a mouthful
of beef, "Oh Mummy, not while I'm having my tea" he said, smiling.  He
leaned forward and whispered in her ear "Come and see me later." Then he
tweaked her nipples.  Mummy collapsed in a juddering orgasmic heap,
supported only by Nigella's hold on her breasts.  "Put Mummy down Nigella"
Woolian said.  Nigella obeyed immediately.  Woolian was a very grown up
kind of boy, why; even adults listened to him.

   As they ate their tea Woolian told the FOUR (Oh and the dog under the
table) his plans for the holidays.  They were going to tour in a REAL horse
draw caravan!  'OH dear thought Franny, this sounds like the start of
another ADVENTURE.' She leaned closer to Daddy for comfort.  Daddy put his
arm around his youngest daughter and gave her a hug and a reassuring smile
(while sliding his hand inside her blouse to grope her tits).  Woolian
continued, Daddy had evicted a widow and her family of 8 starving children
because she had owed him three weeks back rent.  Uncle Perry, the local
magistrate had heard the eviction case and thrown the debtor onto the
street with a stern admonishment for her to pay her way in future, and not
to burden the honest members of the community.  "Hear hear!" said Franny
and Dirk, Nigella grunted her agreement.  Daddy stood up and moved to stand
behind Franny, his hands on her shoulders.  Franny looked up at him with
love and admiration in her eyes.  "I had the caravan fumigated and
repainted.  It's now worth over £100,000; so try not to bash it about too
much," said Daddy.  They all laughed, even Mummy, who was kneeling in front
of Woolian with her head bobbing up and down in his lap.  'Maybe Woolian's
hurt himself and Mummy's kissing him better,' thought Franny.  'Yes that
would be it; Mummy's SO kind to us all.' Franny patted Daddy's hands as
they warmed and massaged her breasts.

   Franny had trouble getting to sleep that night.  Her mind was awash with
thoughts of the holiday.  A REAL Romany caravan - gosh, how exciting.  A
small part of her mind was concerned, this was the stuff that ADVENTURES
were made of, she huddled further down into her bed, Bashing against
Nigella who lay between Franny's legs, head buried in Franny's crotch.  "Oh
Nigella, stop that and go to sleep." Franny said, smiling down at her
cousin, Nigella was SO silly.  Soon Franny was lulled to sleep by the
slurping sounds from Nigella deep beneath the covers.

   The next morning Franny woke early, pushed Nigella away from her crotch
and showered (being careful with her waterlogged vagina) and went down to
breakfast.  Cooky had worked her usual magic and the table was groaning
with their breakfast.  Fried eggs and bacon, ham and kidneys, piles of
fried bread stood next to deep bowls full of butter.  Jugs of thick cream
stood ready for use.  "Hello Mummy" said Franny as mummy came into the
room. 'Umm some things wrong with Mummy' thought Franny.  Mummy walked,
bow-legged to her chair.  Her pale face, showed up the deep black lines
under her eyes.  Mummy kept muttering to herself 'all night - ALL night'
and 'like being slapped in the stomach with a bucket of boiling custard'
and '14 inches; FOURTEEN'.  'Yes' thought Franny, 'Mummy didn't have a very
good nights sleep.' Franny was very observant like that.  Franny, being the
kind girl as she was, got Mummy her breakfast, a small bowl of muesli with
a little yoghurt, and put it in front of Mummy.  "Thick as my arm" said
Mummy, then smiled weekly and, as Franny turned away, tipped forward and
collapsed face down into her bowl, snoring loudly.  Woolian strode into the
room, positively glowing, a picture of radiant health.  Dirk hopped in
still bolting on his left leg ('The Adventure Of The Scrap-Merchant of
Sunderland') and plugging in the battery charger for his artificial heart
('The Adventure Of The Welsh Washerwoman of Washington').  "Good morning
everyone" said Woolian.  "This is the BBC radio news at 7 o'clock" said
Dirk as he tried to get his radio voice box tuned in correctly.

   After they had eaten every scrap of food laid before them (for they
would NEVER let food go to waste - just think of all the starving children
in Cleethorpes), and helped Cooky clear the table and wash the dishes. 
They started loading the caravan.  Dirk and Nigella ran gaily to and fro,
bringing their luggage and personal things for Franny to put away.  Franny
loved doing the housewifely things, and as soon as Woolian got off her, she
was going to get dressed then put all the things away.  Franny filled the
cupboard one by one, though she absolutely REFUSED to allow Dirk to bring
his mobile rocket launcher inside.  It would have to go on top of the
caravan, together with Woolian's anti-tank mines.

   Finally the caravan was packed and the FABULOUS FOUR (oh yes and the
dog) waved good bye to Mummy and Daddy.  Franny watched them disappear into
the distance.  'They ALWAYS have a dance when we leave' thought Franny. 
'They must need cheering up so much, poor things.'

   "I hope the FABULOUS FOUR (Oh and the dog) are ready because I smell an
ADVENTURE in the air" said Woolian (who was never ever wrong about these
things).  'Oh dear' Thought Franny, another adventure, and I'm littler than
the others, not as brave as they are.  Oh I do hope that I don't fuck
things up.'
   (C) Copyright Karen Souleman 2000