-
Standard Disclaimer

This story contains sex, and if you are a minor, or 
are offended by such content, you should delete this 
file immediately and get lost.
-

Although this story has no explicit sex, I'll still 
rate it for an adult audience. I would appreciate 
comments.

--

Fish tank (no sex)
by Qickless (qickless@fastmail.fm)

"Only if you buy me a fish."

I've heard many strange requests over the years; this 
one however beat them all.

"A fish?"

"I want one."

"Lemme get this straight, you'll study if I buy you a 
fish."

"Yes! And I'll keep on doing my homework and never, 
never ever bother you again," she was doing some jumps 
on the bed, nervous bubbling energy radiating 
everywhere.

Where have I heard that before? But those strange, 
fluttering blue eyes started to dampen, and I knew I 
was going to give in even before I could argue.

"Ok, we'll go buy a fish."

"Yay! Yay!" She jumped up and down that creaky bed 
until I caught her in the middle of a swooping jump 
and hugged her to me.

She gave me a sweet peck on the ear, and then a bite.

"Ouch! What did you do that for?" It was quite a sharp 
bite, and I could feel it stinging still.

"Because, you have such cute ears, that's why!"

I looked down hard at her, trying my best to look 
stern. Her face dissolved into my mind, as I compared 
her with what was lost. She had the same large blue 
eyes, the same bright yellow golden curls, and that 
same wicked smile. She had me eating out of her hand, 
and she acted it. She just stood there waiting for my 
expression to soften, thumbs sticking into her spotted 
pajama-bottoms, smiling, dimples, teeth, and her small 
round earring staring me down.

I was no competition. I loved her too much, she was so 
much like her mother, so much that it hurt to know 
that I could love her so much. I hugged her again and 
felt her giggly ribs hug me back.

"I'll buy you a fish, but..."

I loved these moments, the 'but' hung in the air, and 
she almost seemed to gobble up the next words, her 
mind furiously working out scenarios.

"...you'll have to sleep tight tonight, and be a good 
girl till tomorrow evening, and then maybe we'll go."

Her entire body breathed a sigh of relief. 

"That's easy."

"Could be, but you hafta convince me."

"Then you'll buy me a fish?"

I nodded, and she kissed my cheek like a proper little 
girl, and tucked herself in, her small body hardly 
making a ripple in the sheets.

I stepped outside the door and dimmed the lights 
outside, and shut the door partly so that a thin 
stream of light from the doorway shone upon her. She 
opened her eyes and smiled at me, and then turned back 
and cuddled up to her big pillow, her legs curling up 
all around it.

I hated leaving her alone at night. The first few days 
after her mother left us, I'd spent the nights 
cuddling her to me, whispering that everything was 
going to be okay, everything was going to be fine, 
mama was going to come back, numerous short phrases 
that kept creeping to my mind as I felt her shiver 
under my arms. I'd always been a dreamer, and it 
became routine for me to invent answers to "Where is 
mama?" all through that night.

The next morning she'd asked me, her blue eyes still 
wet, her cheeks red from all the crying, "Is mama 
dead?"

We cried together that day, and the next day, but the 
pain took a backseat after that. I sent her to school, 
and she quickly became her bubbly self; I'd watch her 
go and watch her come back, running and shouting, and 
playing with everybody.

I thought about her request. Fishes? Des had loved 
fishes.

Desdmona. I'd laughed at that name, but after I saw 
her, I didn't dare to. Her tall, slender, sinewy 
figure could and would beat the crap out of anybody 
who'd tell her that. My aunt had fixed up a date with 
"this sweet little girl." I didn't prove to be the 
handsome young prince though, all through that day, it 
was as if somebody had hit me with a ton of bricks. 

Later, when I had her in my arms, her slender body 
shaking under mine and her breaths coming in shorter 
gasps as I tenderly kissed her, I asked her why she 
chose me. She laughed; her body squealing under the 
white sheets as she slowly bit my ear and whispered,

"Because you have such cute little ears."

She never told me any other reason.

I've never lived a fuller day than those that I've 
spent with Des. She could touch me in places where I 
never would've let another person in. She laughed, and 
cried as I did; in those two years, we shared more joy 
than I thought possible.

The TV could stare back at me no more. I switched it 
off and bounced into bed, the veins in my hands still 
clenched onto the remote.

She woke me up the next day.

"So we'll go today, right?"

It took me a while to reply.

"Only if you keep your promise."

She handed me my cup of tea, and raised my pillow so 
that I could settle down into bed and have a sip. She 
was being extra nice today. The hot liquid had too 
much sugar, but I didn't tell her that, I finished my 
cup like a good boy and handed it to her.

"I've gotta go!" she yelled, and then she was gone. 

It's been a year since she was gone. One year, and the 
pain changes its poignancy into fragments inside you, 
shattering when you least want it to. I looked out at 
the summer sky, the blinds starting to heat up, the 
settled sense of loss struggling to overpower me.

I shook myself awake, washed the cup that she'd put 
down on the sink, and grabbed something to eat. 

A fish needs a tank. I'd always been good with my 
hands. I rapped off some wood from the cellar floor, 
and got out some unused glass and made my way to a 
shed that we have out back. As the glass welded into 
the wood under my shielded eye, I thought about the 
fish. 

It was no use going with her to the shop - she'd be 
too confused at the wild assortment of fish, and she'd 
make a fuss about every single color anyway. I'll go 
and buy her one, and then I'll surprise her when she 
comes back.

I shuffled to the door and into the narrow road as it 
almost gave way under my naked feet and I made my way 
past countless doors towards the sign that read "Pet 
Shop."

I peeked inside. A solitary lady was sitting at a 
table, scribbling something, bowls of water around her 
filled with fishes.

I grunted, cleared my throat and asked,

"Do you have some fish?"

The lady looked up from her table, her eyes suddenly 
rose in puzzlement, and she looked me over once before 
she spoke,

"Fish?"

"Yes, fish."

I felt quite stupid. The expression all over her face 
spoke of extreme curiosity. I felt my zipper and my 
hair, everything was fine. Perhaps I'd something on my 
shirt. I searched around my clothes, and then noticed 
something unusual. I had something in my hands. I 
looked down. The TV remote. No wonder...

"Oh, I don't know why I picked up this remote coming 
over here. I must've thought it to be my watch or 
something..."

"Okay..." she stared at my hand and then back again.

"So you want a fish? What would you like, a goldfish, 
a samaritan, a coolflout?"

"Just something that looks nice. It's for my 
daughter."

"Oh, I'd suggest a goldfish, it looks beautiful." Her 
expression softened as she asked, "How old is your 
daughter anyway?"

"Twelve, and she is as cute as a button."

She smiled, and told me, "I'll be right back..." and 
her red fluttering dress went out of the door.

She came back quickly with two men by her side. They 
were wearing strange blue overcoats, and they quickly 
rushed to my side.

I felt a rising dread inside me.

"Wha-?" My cries were stifled as one of the huge men 
placed a large hand over my face, and the other took 
out a piece of clear plastic. I felt the pinprick, and 
as the steady stream of substances flowed into me, I 
glanced at the plastic in my hand.

It read, "#23 James Corrigan."

All the fish tanks crashed to the floor and broke in 
one single motion as I screamed, like I screamed the 
day I lost them both.

They carried me down the carpeted hall, and into the 
gray cell.

"I'm sorry ma'am," the man told the woman. "This is 
the first time this has happened. The man who took him 
the coffee forgot to lock the door. He must've 
wandered down the corridor. I apologize, it is 
entirely my fault, I'm sorry."

"Oh! Don't be! He was quite harmless, really."

"Yes, he has never been violent; he sits all day in 
his cell and looks outside the window, and sometimes 
mutters to himself. God knows what goes inside his 
mind. They say he was a good scientist. He lost his 
family in a car-crash last year. His wife died 
immediately, but he picked up his little girl and 
walked three miles to a hospital. She died on the way. 
He could never accept that."

"He was talking something about a fish."

"Fish? I wouldn't know anything about that, ma'am."

The image of a fish tank crashed into my mind, even as 
the jeep turned, and Des screamed, the fish tank 
remained stationery in the back seat, the sole 
goldfish alarmed, but never hurt.

The woman paused, and started to turn back, but then 
she said something that carried all the way into my 
weak ears, "He has such cute little ears..."

Even through all the mist and the fog, I glanced at 
her and smiled. She looked at me and smiled back, the 
contours of her face brightening and lighting up to 
envelope a warmth around her.

I knew then that I was going to get out, soon. As the 
Fish tank closed around me, a bright convex light 
emerged out of the blackness and slowly spread out; I 
squinted, trying hard to focus.

The Fish tank broke; the glass shattered and smoldered 
as wisps of water spread out of the room, and went 
away from her footsteps towards the woman in the red 
dress.

--

Comments to qickless@fastmail.fm
Definitive version at /~qickless