Jennifer Explores (MF,rom,light bd) by Philip Harris This first thing he did once he took Jennifer's panties off was to tie her wrists to ropes looped about each of her legs. The bonds kept her hands between her legs, letting them reach nowhere else. Then he slipped rings on both of her middle fingers. The rings held tiny bells that jingled at her slightest movement. "That's so you'll make music while you masturbate," he told her as he began unbuttoning Jennifer's blouse. Jennifer had come here willingly. "Don't you ever have heterosexual fantasies?" he'd asked her. She was waiting outside of class, outside of one of Heather's classes, waiting for Heather. Jennifer and Heather made no secret of being lesbian lovers. Heather was out of the closet when Jennifer met her--when Heather first seduced Jennifer. "Everybody can see what you are," Heather had said. "You're just doing yourself a disservice by hiding in the closet." "I'm not hiding," Jennifer had answered, "it's my choice to keep my sexual interests private." "But then boys bother you because you're so pretty," Heather had argued. But it didn't really bother Jennifer that men thought she was pretty. She liked men, she just didn't like them that way. Heather was Jennifer's first real lover, her first lover to make it all the way inside Jennifer's pants and inside Jennifer. "I want you to move in with me," Heather had said on the first morning they'd woken up together. It was a demand more than a request, and from the moment Jennifer moved in with Heather, Heather had told everybody that they were lovers. Heather outted Jennifer. "I'm sorry, I'm just not attracted to guys," Jennifer said. She was answering the rude boy who had asked her about heterosexual fantasies. He had just walked up to her and asked her, right there in the school hallway while she was waiting for Heather. "I'll bet you'd like it rough," he said. "You'd like being tied to a bed, where you can't say no." "Yuck! That's not what I'd like at all!" Jennifer said. "Why don't you think about it," he urged. "It wouldn't be your fault if you couldn't say no. There'd be nothing for you to feel guilty about. And there'd be no reason for you to tell anyone. Only you would have to know." The class let out then, and by the time Heather joined Jennifer the rude boy was gone. Jennifer knew who he was, sort of. He was in her major, maybe a year ahead of her. She'd seen him in jazz band. The next week he was there again. Jennifer knew that he must have been waiting for her. She didn't like confrontations, but they sometimes happened with people who didn't understand about lesbianism. He probably thought he could seduce her, convert her somehow. "Hi," he said, smiling pleasantly. "Hi," Jennifer answered. Secretly she had hoped that he'd be there. She had been thinking about what he'd said. Since she met Heather, Jennifer didn't have straight male friends anymore. All the guys she knew were gay. Straight men were uncomfortable around Heather. That was Heather's own fault, Jennifer knew, Heather deliberately made them feel uncomfortable. Heather hated straight men. The rude boy waited without speaking further, looking at Jennifer expectantly. "Look," she said, "I know what you want, but Heather and I . . ." "What I want is for you to come to my place sometime when Heather is not around," he interrupted. "I'm not interested," Jennifer said. "Nobody will see you. Nobody will have to know anything." "Heather is always around," Jennifer answered. "I couldn't go out without her knowing about it." "Don't you have friends of your own whom you visit with? Don't you ever study by yourself?" "Heather always comes with me whenever I visit friends," Jennifer answered. "All of my friends are Heather's friends." It was true, she realized, that since meeting Heather she didn't have any friends of her own at all. "What about when you study?" "The only time I study alone is when I go to the ear- training lab," Jennifer said. The ear-training lab was for music majors only. It was just a set of study carrels in the music department with tape players and headphones. "I've seen you there on Thursdays," he said. "Why don't you come to my apartment this Thursday instead?" "I'm not really interested," Jennifer answered, after hesitating. Students started coming out of the classroom then and he disappeared again before Heather showed up. On Thursday he was there at the ear-training lab. "I told you that I'm not interested," Jennifer said as soon as he approached her. "Do you have any experience with boys?" he asked. "Of course I do!" Jennifer snapped back. "I think that's a lie," he said. His voice hadn't been mean or reproachful. "Look, why are you interested in me?" Jennifer asked. "Because I want you," he said. "I think you're beautiful, and when I first saw you I decided that I wanted you. But then somebody told me that you're a dyke, so I tried to forget about you--but I can't." "I'm sorry," Jennifer said, "but lots of people don't get to sleep with the people they want to sleep with." He went away. Jennifer tried to do her ear-training homework, but she couldn't concentrate. He just wants to fuck me, he doesn't really love me, she told herself. He just wants to fuck a lesbian, and then probably brag about it. But Jennifer felt upset with herself, because she did believe him. "What makes you think I'd like it rough?" she asked. A week had passed. Jennifer had felt bad again when he wasn't waiting outside of Heather's classroom, but when she got to her Thursday ear training he was waiting for her. "Because I've watched you with your dyke friend Heather," he said. "I know that you like to be the submissive one." "Heather isn't rough with me," Jennifer said, lying a little bit. "That's because she's not a man. She can't be rough in the same way that a man can." "Oh, you mean like break my bones and things?" "No, I mean that together you can't be a man and a woman. She can't put a man's hands on you. When she holds your breasts she holds them like a woman. It's just like you were touching yourself." "You don't have a clue what you're talking about!" "It's true that I'm just guessing," he said, "but isn't it also true what I'm saying?" Jennifer had undergone internal conflict she'd met him. She felt guilty for thinking about him, she felt as if she were betraying Heather, but she also felt guilty, in some ways, about ignoring him. Jennifer knew that her parents loved her and that they tried to understand about her and Heather, but she also knew they secretly hoped that she was just going through a phase. What about grandchildren? They'd never asked her that, but she could tell it was constantly in their minds. And most of her other relatives didn't know. Did Jennifer owe it to them, her family, to try a little bit harder to be "normal?" Would it really be so bad for her to grow up and get married and have kids and do all the "normal" things? But there was also Heather, and all of Jennifer and Heather's friends. It would be betraying them. Well, a few of them were bisexual. There was nothing wrong with that; was there? There really wasn't any betrayal about being bisexual. No, it was just Heather. If Jennifer cheated she'd be cheating on Heather. "I can't cheat on Heather," Jennifer said. She hesitated for long seconds, and then added, "That's final. I don't want to talk about this again." "Just tell me the truth," he asked, "you've never gone all the way with a boyfriend, have you?" "Not all the way, no," Jennifer admitted. It was a secret she'd only ever shared with Heather. Virginity with boys was something they both had in common. "Don't you think you ought to do it once?" "Is that all you want?" Jennifer asked. The truth is that she did think she should do it at least once. "No, that's not all I want. I want all of you that Heather has," he said, "but I'm willing to settle for just once if I have to." "Let me think about it," Jennifer said. Heather was definitely suspicious. She followed Jennifer even more closely than before and monopolized conversations more than usual. While they were at a mall Heather accused Jennifer of "shopping with her eyes," although she evidently didn't suspect that Jennifer was shopping men. At night they did not sleep as closely together in bed. They had sex less often, and Jennifer enjoyed it less. Then suddenly one night Heather wasn't able to make Jennifer cum. She became angry, and then forceful. Not rough!, Jennifer thought ironically to herself. Heather was so rough that Jennifer cried in pain and drew herself away. Now she couldn't possibly cum. Heather yelled at her hysterically, and then broke down crying. Jennifer had never seen Heather cry before. She felt sorry for Heather, but was inwardly struck with distaste at Heather's emotions. A man would beat me, but he wouldn't cry, Jennifer thought to herself. A man would be strong; he would be dependable. Jennifer felt ashamed of herself for these thoughts. Heather was as dependable as any man. But things were changed between them. After that Jennifer and Heather stopped having sex altogether, and Heather left her alone more often. Heather found excuses to leave Jennifer at home while she went out by herself. Heather stayed out very late, and once she stayed out all night without offering any explanation the next day. Jennifer began to think about having babies. Before, she had been confident in her lesbian identity. Deciding that she was a lesbian had been a scary but welcome revelation in her life. She'd been happy with her choice. She'd felt in control; she'd felt that she was exerting her free will. But now at night she had sex dreams of Todd, the boy who'd been bothering her, the boy who was responsible for all her troubles. A week ago she hadn't even known his name, and now she thought of it so often that she had to be careful and not answer, "Okay, Todd," when Heather said she was going out. At night Jennifer dreamed of lying spread-legged beneath Todd as he fucked her. She dreamed of feeling him cum inside her, and then of her belly growing instantly big with child. She dreamed of giving birth, of Todd standing beside her in the hospital as their new baby suckled at her milky breast. She dreamed of her parents being proud of her. She dreamed of pushing a stroller down the street and everyone smiling at her, everyone being pleased for her. She dreamed of talking to other young mothers. They were all happy to be living successful, normal lives. Jennifer started thinking up baby names during the daytime. Boy's names--she wanted to have a boy first--and then she started thinking of girl's names for his little sister. "I'm really bad at being a lesbian," Jennifer muttered aloud to herself one evening. She picked up the telephone and called Todd. "I want to fuck," she said. "When?" Todd asked. "Right away. Right now!" What should she bring with her? A toothbrush? A pillow? She'd once heard a girl say that boys never had more than one pillow for their bed. Well that was silly, because she wasn't going to stay all night. Half an hour later Jennifer rang the doorbell at Todd's apartment building. When he opened the door she was standing in the hallway, clutching a pillow and a toothbrush. After a brief "hi" Todd took her right to his bedroom. He took her pillow and placed it on his bed, which already had two pillows. He put her toothbrush on top of his messy dresser. He kissed her. "Nervous?" he asked. "Yeah," Jennifer admitted. It was true that at 21 years old she'd never been alone with a boy in his bedroom before. "Get on the bed, I want to undress you," he said. "I thought maybe we could talk a little bit first," Jennifer objected, but she was already sitting on the bed and Todd was untying her sneakers. "Don't help," he said as she reached down to pull off her socks, "remember, none of this is your choice." "That's okay," Jennifer said, "I know what I'm doing here." "No you don't," Todd said. "Maybe you came here out of curiosity. Maybe you think you might still leave without doing anything. But it's not going to be that way. No matter what you decide you want, I'm not letting you leave until I've fucked you." Jennifer said nothing as he pushed her backward on the bed and stripped off her jeans, placing her own pillow beneath her rump. He immediately pulled her panties off and spread her legs apart. Jennifer felt thrilled at the look in his eyes. Maybe it was true that he loved her, he was looking between her legs with delight. "You didn't know that I had a stud there, did you?" she teased as he touched the little stud that pierced the hood over her clit. Heather had made her get it so that her clit was constantly rubbed whenever she walked. "Show me how it works," he said. He reached beneath his bed and brought up ropes, which he tied about her thighs, all the way up. Then he tied her wrists to her thighs and knotted the ends together so that her hands couldn't reach anywhere but between her legs. Jennifer heard a tiny jingling as he took something from a desk drawer. He slipped rings on to each of her middle fingers. The rings had little bells that jingled with her every movement. "That's so you'll make music for me while you masturbate," he said. Jennifer pulled back on her clit stud with the fingers of her left hand, exposing her clitoris. For a brief moment she missed Heather's breath; Heather always blew on Jennifer's clit when it first came into sight. With the fingers of her right hand Jennifer began rubbing around and on her clit. The bell jingled with each rub. Todd began unbuttoning Jennifer's blue blouse, opening her blouse fully as he undid each button so that her white-bra- cupped breasts spread her shirt open fully while the button just beneath them was still buttoned. The bell was jingling merrily now, rapidly. The last time a boy had opened Jennifer's shirt was in high school, and she hadn't had nearly as much to show him then. Todd left Jennifer open-bloused while he knelt on the bed and began undressing himself. Jennifer's confession bell was ringing almost constantly and her bra cups trembled with sex-movement as Todd's underwear came off. God, this was a real turn-on, she realized. Jennifer had been worried that she wouldn't get horny for a guy. Suddenly the tinkling stopped as Jennifer, momentarily forgetful of her bonds, tried to reach toward Todd's now exposed cock. Oh, god it looked good! "Make yourself cum, you pretty little lezzie you," Todd said, smiling wickedly down at Jennifer. He knelt directly over Jennifer's breasts, still in their bra, and began stroking his cock just inches from her face. "Don't cum like that--I want you to fuck me!" Jennifer pleaded. "I'm not going to cum at all until you show me how horny you are for a man-fucking," he said. Dutifully Jennifer began masturbating again, jingling sweetly as she watched him stroke his cock over her body. They came together, Jennifer moaning in self-climax, and Todd grunting as thick streams of cum snaked down from his cock and soaked wetly into Jennifer's bra. He wiped his cock clean on her bra cups. Jennifer felt his cum soaking through to her skin, but he was careful not to let any get on her directly. "There," he said, kissing Jennifer very lightly on her lips, "you see, you're still a virgin, but you're no longer a lesbian." Unbuttoning her blouse fully now, Todd pushed Jennifer's bra straps down from her shoulders. "And you won't be allowed to leave here a virgin, either," he added. Reaching beneath her body, touching his still-dripping cock to her belly as he did so, he unhooked her bra and pushed the cups up off her breasts. These are very beautiful, he said, cupping her breasts with his hands. Small breasts as a teenager had helped lead Jennifer toward lesbianism. Teenage boys overlooked girls who had small breasts. Now Jennifer had grown into B cups, much more than she'd had before, and she felt very pleased at hearing a boy praise them. "Let's have a taste," Todd said, and burying his face into her left breast, he sucked savagely at her small, pink nipple. He squirmed his hips until his cock touched Jennifer's bound hands. She stroked it, wonderfully aware that she was stroking him to new erection just inches from her bare and open vagina. "Let's see how they'd look dripping milk," Todd said, now taking his face from her freshly-sucked right nipple. He swirled his finger in a cum-messy part of Jennifer's bra, and then decorated both of her nipples with the result. "Why you look sweet enough to drink from," Todd said. He swirled his finger on Jennifer's left nipple again, then presented the cum-dipped fingertip to Jennifer's lips. Jennifer, who'd never tasted man cum, tried to lick a small taste, but Todd thrust his finger between her lips and make her suck on it. "You're going to have to get used to the taste of male cum," he told her. "My little dyke girl has got to learn to be a cum drinker." "Please don't call me that," Jennifer asked. She wasn't sure what she was going to be in the future. This was all new to her. She liked him tying her, she'd definitely liked seeing him cum on her, and she was sure now that she wanted to be fucked tonight, but this was still just an experiment to her. Maybe tomorrow she could go back with Heather and everything would be forgiven and forgotten? Todd was rubbing his cock on Jennifer's tits now, pulling both of her nipples upward and rubbing them back and forth with his cock between them. Jennifer's tits were firm and small so they didn't come together, but he evidently got a good ride out of them anyway. His cock was half erect again when he finished. Todd leaned forward, leaning over Jennifer's face as he held himself on all fours. Jennifer opened her mouth and be began face fucking her. Heather had done this to Jennifer with a dildo, so she wasn't totally unskilled. "I want to hear bells again," he said, and Jennifer began masturbating musically for a second time. "Finger fuck yourself, because I'm going inside you," he said. "Murfph," Jennifer answered. She suddenly wanted to say something important but couldn't speak with her mouth full of cock. After several minutes Todd withdrew his cock from her mouth and Jennifer could finally speak. "I don't have BC," she said. "That's okay, I don't want you with any," Todd answered. He was positioning his body over hers for vaginal penetration. "No, please," she said. "I've changed my mind about this if you're not going to wear a condom." Suddenly all her dreams of having a baby became too real. "I told you, you don't have any choice in this," Todd replied. Jennifer closed her legs. "Please," she pleaded. "Please just wear a condom." "No," he said. "I'm not going to wear a condom and I'm not going to let you go home a virgin. Open your legs!" "No," Jennifer said determinedly. "I can just turn you over and bend you over the bed," Todd pointed out. "Oh, yeah," Jennifer said, understanding now the difference between a man being rough with her and another woman playing at being rough. He could do it to her, actually make her have a baby even if she didn't want to. She spread her legs apart and felt Todd's cock penetrate her. The fucking felt very, very good. Jennifer felt like all the other sex she'd had in her life was just practice for this. When she came it caught her unexpectedly. That was from him cumming inside her, she realized. The warmth of his cum had trigged a very satisfying orgasm even before she'd felt ready. Yes, she thought to herself as she contemplated his cum within her, yes, I do like being fucked by a man! Todd lay on top of her afterward, leaving his cock inside her. She wanted to ask him if he really loved her, but she felt it would be a stupid question. He could say anything. It didn't matter now. He had her tied. Nobody knew that she was here. He could fuck her all that he wanted. He could keep her here and fuck her forever. Jennifer ended up staying the night. Heather had stayed out a whole night, and so could she, Jennifer decided. Besides, Todd didn't untie her until after midnight. He let her get up from the bed, but she couldn't dress herself with her hands tied. They had sex twice more that evening before he untied her. Jennifer had wanted to have sex again, but she had no choice about it anyway. There was a big scene with Heather when Jennifer got home of course, so that very evening she moved out of the apartment she had shared with Heather and moved in with Todd. Jennifer had no place else to go. For a while Todd and Jennifer lived together happily. She introduced him to her parents as her boyfriend, which pleased them very much. Todd said that he wanted to marry Jennifer, but she felt unsure. After a year she moved into an apartment on her own. Jennifer decided that she was not a lesbian, but she wasn't sure that she was a heterosexual either. She decided that her exploration of herself and her sexuality was still just beginning. For her first night at her own place she celebrated by getting some ropes for her new bed and inviting a "bi- curious" girl over for the evening. "Let's just do a little kissing first," the girl said when Jennifer started undressing her, but Jennifer had already tied the girl's hands together. "You can change your mind if you want to," Jennifer said, spreading open the girl's blouse as she unbuttoned it, "you don't have to want to do this, but I'm still not letting you go home a 'virgin'." -end- More stories by Philip Harris can be found on /~pharris/.