Title: IN A MIRROR, DARKLY 
Author: T'Lin (LinkyS@aol.com) 
Pairing: Spock/AU Spock (K/S, AUK/AUS mentioned) 
Rating: Where no one has gone before [NC-17] 

Notes: Originally written for the "Spock Fuhq Fest" -
http://www.kardasi.com/fuh-q-fest/

Feedback: gladly accepted - send to LinkyS@aol.com 

Archiving: Yes, all the usual places ... just let me know. 

Web Page: http://www.geocities.com/tlin_s/

Summary: Set some fifty years after the events in "Mirror, 
Mirror." In that time, the Alternate Universe Spock has 
taken the advice of Captain Kirk, and eventually becomes 
the Commander-in-Chief of the Empire. His sweeping changes 
have been good for the people of the Empire, but have 
weakend them militarily, allowing the Klingon/Cardassian/
Bajoran Alliance to take over. 

Warning: this story contains m/m sex ... hey, it's
part of the Spock Fuh-Q Fest ... what did you expect, a tea
party? 

Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom owns all things TREK, I
just like to borrow the characters once in a while to let
them have a little fun (TPTB would NEVER let them behave
like this) ... no copyright infringement intended, I make
no money off of this. 

*********************** 

IN A MIRROR, DARKLY 
T'Lin - © July 2000 

My curiosity was piqued. Normally, a voice-only message
asking for a clandestine meeting would be either ignored,
or sent to security to have them deal with it. But this one
was different. The voice was somewhat familiar, although it
sounded slightly distorted ... as if the speaker was trying
to hide his identity. He said he had been an acquaintance
of Kirk's, and that he needed to speak to me ... it was a
matter of some urgency. The fact that he knew Jim may have
been enough for me to agree with the meeting, however, that
was not the deciding factor. He said his name was S'chn
T'gai ... a name I have not heard spoken aloud in many
years. It is a name that I, for all intents and purposes,
gave up when I decided to live among humans ... for I am
S'chn T'gai Spock, only living son of S'chn T'gai Sarek. ¥ 


I was compelled to meet with this man, simply to find out
who he was ... and why he used my name. 

******************* 

I arrived in the park five minutes before the appointed
time, and scanned the area. There were several couples,
walking hand in hand ... a few business men passing through
... two men sitting at a table playing chess ... over all,
nothing unusual for this time of day. Not knowing what this
mysterious individual looked like, I decided to stroll
around the park ... apparently, *he* would know who *I*
was. 

At exactly 1700 hours a man, wearing a hooded cape,
entered the park and made his way purposefully toward me.
He was tall, and lean ... and moved with a fluid grace that
was somehow familiar. Still, I could not see his face. 

As he approached, he raised his hand in the traditional
Vulcan salute, saying, "Dif-tor heh smusma - Spahkh."* 

I was surprised by the familiar phrase spoken in my native
tongue, but I did not let it show. Raising my own hand, I
returned the gesture, and said, "Dif-tor heh smusma - S'chn
T'gai." 

The formalities done, he frantically looked around, to see
if we were being observed, and when he noticed that we were
quite alone, he said, "I ask forgiveness. I need your help
... and your silence ... but most of all, I ask for
asylum." With these words, he raised his arm to remove the
hood. 

I found myself looking into a mirror, albeit a slightly
distorted mirror. This man who stood in front of me had to
be none other than my counterpart from the Alternate
Universe that Kirk, Scotty, McCoy and Uhura visited almost
fifty years ago. After all this time, he still wore the
beard that was the only distinguishing factor between us at
the time. From all accounts, we were physically identical
in every other way. 

Of course, the same could not be said, now. The man before
me could pass for my brother, but would never be mistaken
for me. The years had changed us both in subtle ways. Where
I had 'filled out' with the more sedentary life of an
Ambassador, he had gotten hard and lean ... as if he had
spent too many years working too many hours with far too
much stress. 

As I was studying his features, he gasped, and his knees
buckled. As I reached out to steady him, I sensed his pain,
and closed down my mental shields against the unexpected
barrage. "Are you hurt?" I asked, as I half-carried him to
a nearby bench. 

"It will pass." he replied, in obvious distress. 

"Let me get a doctor ... you need medical attention." I
offered, as I pulled a communicator from the pocket of my
robe. 

"NO ... no doctor ..." Eyes closed and breathing heavily,
he whispered, " nobody must know ... I am here." 

"S'chn T'gai ... you are safe here," I assured him. "I
have a friend ... McCoy ... he will help you ... and be
very discrete," I said, as I adjusted the frequency on my
communicator. As I was about to activate the private
signal, I saw him mouth the name McCoy, then S'chn T'gai
was unconscious. 

<chirp> "McCoy ... this is Spock." 

"Hi'ya, Spock ... what can I do for ya?" 

"I am in the Embassy Garden with an acquaintance who needs
medical attention. I cannot say any more at this time, but
will explain what I can in person. For now, can you lock
onto my signal, and the person with me and have us beamed
directly to a private examination room? You are to be the
only physician to attend him ... it is imperative that his
presence remain secret." 

"Of course, Spock ... it will take me a moment to arrange
transport ... McCoy out." 

****************** 

McCoy, like I, was surprised to see his patient. Forgoing
his questions for the time being, he set to work assessing
my counterpart's condition. I was relieved, as I did not
have any answers for the good Doctor. I hoped that S'chn
T'gai would be able to enlighten us both on why he was here
... and why he needed asylum. 

"Spock ... can you tell me what happened ... before he
passed out?" McCoy said, as he scanned his patient. 

"Nothing much happened. We exchanged greetings ... he said
he needed my help... and then asked for asylum." I took a
moment to access the memory of our brief mind touch, and
continued, "when his knees started to buckle, I could see
pain in his eyes ... and when I caught him, I felt his
anxiety, but closed my mental shields before I sensed the
source of his distress." 

"Well ... it looks like he has been subjected to numerous
phaser blasts ... all at a low setting. Apparently, he was
being stunned, repeatedly ... as if, each time he revived
from stun, he was instantly stunned again." Shaking his
head, he went on, "and that's not all ... there's an
imbalance in his system..." McCoy stopped, and looked into
my eyes with such concern, I became concerned for the life
of my counterpart. 

"What is it?" I asked. If I was to help this man, I needed
to know everything I could about his condition. 

"Spock," he said, and then cleared his throat nervously.
"I'm not 100 percent sure ... but I think he ... ummm ... I
think it's the Pon Farr." 

"Understood." I could only assume that someone had been
using a phaser to keep him sedated. Surely, if this had
continued for much longer, it would have been fatal."Do
what you can to make him comfortable," I said, as I stood
to leave. Looking at the face, so like my own, and knowing
the torment he was going through, I went on, "I must
rearrange my schedule for the next week, and make some
preparations. I will return for him in one hour ... can you
have him ready to leave at that time?" 

"Of course, Spock ... but what will you do?" McCoy asked,
deeply concerned. 

"Do not be naive, Doctor ... I will do what I must to make
sure he survives this ordeal." With this said, I left the
room, knowing that S'chn T'gai was in good hands. McCoy
would maintain his privacy ... and knew how to deal with
his condition until I returned. 

*********** 

As I left the medical facility, I found myself
uncharacteristically aroused. It had been many years since
I last had sex ... although that last time with Jim, so
many years ago, on the night before his final mission, was
still fresh in my mind. After the attack that took his
life, I was lost ... had it not been for McCoy, I would not
have survived. But life goes on ... and eventually, so did
mine. However, I never once felt desire for another person.
It was as if that aspect of my life died with my t'hy'la. 

I quickly made my way back to my office, where I made some
calls. Requesting a leave of absence for personal reasons
(a request that is never denied the Vulcan staff of the
Embassy), I closed my office, and went back to get S'chn
T'gai ... and found myself anticipating the next week to
ten days. It would certainly give me a chance to get to
know him better ... and find out why he was here. 

************** 

My counterpart was still feeling the effects of McCoy's
ministrations when we arrived at my apartment. The good
Doctor was able to ease his pain considerably, and calm him
sufficiently for the short journey to my home. 

By the time we arrived, he was exhausted. "You may refresh
yourself through there," I said, as I pointed through my
bedroom to the bath beyond. "Rest ... I will prepare a
light meal, as you are most likely famished, and then we
will take care of other business," I said with a raised
eyebrow. 

Obviously taken aback by my comment, he mirrored my
expression, saying, "You know, don't you?" 

"Of your condition?" I asked, and at his nod, I continued,
"yes ... McCoy noticed the imbalances in your system." At
that time, we were in perfect sync... each knowing exactly
what the other was feeling, but I had to know, "tell me ...
why were you being stunned repeatedly?" 

At my question, a look of shame came over him ...
obviously, this Spock was not as accustomed to hiding his
emotions as I was ... or else the Pon Farr was more
advanced than I had thought. After a moment, he said
simply, "I was being tortured," and he left the room. 

While I was contemplating why any sentient being would
choose to torture another in such a way, I heard a crash
from the other room. Quickly, I made my way there to see
what had happened ... and saw my dresser overturned, and
S'chn T'gai collapsed on the floor, sobbing. I realized
that he was speaking, and after a moment I was able to
discern his words "Po -- tor katau tu ra sanosh.. Po.."* 

It took me a moment to realize that he was not asking me
this question ... in his delirium, he was seeing his
tormentors, and wondering why they were torturing him so.
It was painful to see him so ... it was time to ease his
suffering. 

I disrobed before I approached him. As I did, his please
of 'why' came to an end, and a cry of utter anguish escaped
from deep within his soul. He was almost incoherent, but in
his anguish, I could make out one phrase, "T'hy'la --
yontau na'du.. Bolaya lo'uk.."* 

I knelt on the floor behind him, soothing his brow and
whispering calming words in his ear. I felt his body
stiffen, and some semblance of recognition came into his
eyes. "What are you doing?" he asked me, as I reached to
unfasten his clothing. 

"What you need me to do." I replied. As I stood, and
offered my hand to assist him in rising off the floor, I
whispered, "Yontau du.. Let me put out your flames.." 

As he stood, he noticed my state of undress, and my all
too obvious arousal. He roughly grabbed my by the
shoulders, and threw me onto the bed, face down. I could
hear the sound of his clothing being torn off of his body,
and, knowing what was to come, I said, "there is a jar of
lube on the table ... use it liberally!" I had already
opened it, in preparation of this moment. 

I soon felt his strong, slick fingers probing my ass ...
it had been so long, I almost came with the first sensation
of his finger touching my prostate, but I could not indulge
myself so soon. When he was done preparing me, he grabbed
my hips, and lifted my backsides into the air. Kneeling
between my parted legs, I felt his cockhead slip into me.
The sensation was amazing ... never before have I been
penetrated by a Vulcan penis, and experiencing it second
hand (as I so often did when Jim and I were joined) is not
the same. 

At first, he moved rather slowly ... I was actually amazed
by his control. Soon I found myself pushing back, to impale
myself further onto his engorged phallus. The further back
I thrust, the deeper he went ... and my own cock was ready
to burst from the stimulation on my prostate. 

I could feel myself nearing climax, and knew that S'chn
T'gai was very close, too by the increased tempo of his
thrusts. When I thought I could take no more, I felt his
hand come around, and grab my cock ... he pumped it twice,
in rhythm to his thrusts, and suddenly, I could feel the
heat from his juices flowing inside of me, and I exploded.
We both cried out, as we climaxed ... and I was not all
that surprised to hear the name Jim come out of both of our
mouths. 

*********** 

Satiated for the time being, we showered and changed the
linens, and even gotten a little sleep. It was now time for
some answers. I had prepared a small salad for each of us,
and poured glasses of ice cold Altair Water ... anything
more would be out of the question until the Pon Farr had
completely run it's course. 

As we ate, he told me about his rise to Commander in Chief
of the Empire. And how he brought about widespread changes
for the people. The days of advancement by assassination
were over. That was the one thing he had never been able to
do ... kill Kirk ... he could not kill his t'hy'la.
Instead, he used his power and the allies he had onboard to
remove Kirk from command. In essence, they had mutinied,
but left Kirk alive ... and when he entered Pon Farr, he
forcibly bonded with Kirk ... making him his sex slave. I,
in turn, told him of the relationship that had developed
over the years between myself and Jim. How it had grown of
its own accord, until one day, we realized what we had both
been missing out on all along. I told him of the many years
we had together, and of the tragic accident that took him
away from me so suddenly ... when we should have had many
more years together. 

He then told me of the fall of the Empire, and the recent
rise of the Klingon/Cardassian/Bajoran Alliance. How they
enslaved the Human and Vulcan people, and all their allies
who would not pledge their allegiance to the new regime. He
told of the torture, and degradation ... the starvation and
disease. It took him a while, but he finally got around to
his own torture, and why he was seeking asylum. 

"I was in one of their work camps," he started out.
Reluctant to tell me of his ordeal, but knowing the
necessity. "I had eluded capture for a week, while they
were overrunning Earth and Vulcan. When they finally caught
up with me, I was searching for Kirk. You see, my time was
coming, and I needed him." He shook his head, as if to
clear away the image, but continued, "I knew he was getting
old, and this time would probably kill him, but we were
bonded ... I had no choice." He seemed to get lost in his
own thoughts for a minute or two, but finally looked at me,
and continued, "we had been together for so long, I do
believe he had finally grown to love me, in his own way." 

"Yes, there is a term for that on Earth ... 'Stockholm
Syndrome', I believe... where a captive falls in love with
his captor." 

"Whatever ... as I said, I was captured before I found
him. For several days, I hid my condition, as it was not
yet acute." Once again, he paused in his tale, then took a
deep breath to continue. "My Klingon guard recognized my
symptoms a week after I arrived. Apparently, in my
delirium, I was calling out for Kirk, and they searched
through their records to find that he was also a prisoner.
He was brought to me, but put in the cell across from me,
where we could not touch." He shivered ... whether from the
memory, or from the returning fever, I could not tell. 

Urging him to continue, he told me of the time he spent
locked in his cell, with Kirk across the way, pleading with
the guards to let him go to his lover. "I was slowly going
insane, and they would not allow the one person in the
world who could help me come to me." He stood, and started
to pace, anger mixed with lust in his voice as he
continued, "on the third day of our mutual captivity, I
broke the lock on my cell door, and made my way to Kirk's
cell. I had grabbed him close to the bars, and made him
kneel as I pulled my cock out and thrust it into his
waiting mouth. As he started to suck, the guard returned,
and pulled me away, throwing me into the wall. As I turned
to fight him, he raised his disruptor, and fired at Kirk." 

My counterpart was shaking, silently, and there were tears
in his eyes. I knew the pain he was going through, and went
to him. "Shhh .... you are safe now," I whispered, as I
held him close to me. "There is no need to continue." 

"Yes ... there is. Kirk was dead. Gone. His body, his mind
... his soul. Part of me was also gone. I did not realize
just how connected we had become." Once again, his body
stiffened, and I could feel him losing control once again
... but apparently he felt a need to finish his tale before
his need overcame him once more. "When I saw what the guard
had done to my t'hy'la, I went bezerk! I leapt at him, and
broke his neck before any of his comrades could assist
him." 

He was silent for several heartbeats. Then finally, he
went on, "after that, I was returned to my cell, naked,
where I was chained to the bars. My new guard would come up
to the bars and stroke my cock, stopping before I had any
fulfilment, then stunning me into unconsciousness. This
went on for two days, until I broke free, and raped my
guard. I escaped, and made my way to a transporter, where I
made the calculations to get here." 

I was shocked by the brutality of his captors. But then I
remembered the brutality of the universe Jim had described
to me, and I could see how the Klingon's could have been so
barbaric. "I am amazed that," I finally said, "after all
these years, and the condition you were in, that you could
get here. None-the-less, you are here ... and you will be
granted asylum." 

I could see the relief in his face at my words. "Thank
you," he said, as the tension of his ordeal slipped away. 

"Come ...it is time again," I said, as I took him into my
arms. I could feel his erection press against my own, and
the fire I knew to be in his blood surged into my own. "Let
me pleasure you, as Jim so often pleasured me. And
together, we can purge the flames of our lust ... and love
... for our t'hy'la." 

With these words, I once again took him into my bedroom.
Slowly, I removed the soft robe I had lent him, the one
that had been Jim's. I then I removed my own, and took him
once again into my arms. //We are one!// I thought, but
said it in Vulcan for emphasis, "Etek veh.." I needed him
as much as he needed me. It was time to join with him, in
every way. "We are one, in body and soul ... I wish to join
with thee." 

At my words, we both reached for the meld points, and our
minds became on. We were one being, with two sets of
memories and experiences. The meld was complete in an
instant, and we no longer needed the touch points to remain
in contact. At this revelation, I moved us to the bed,
where I gently laid him down. Just as I had never been
fucked by a Vulcan cock, I had never sucked one. Wanting
this very much, and knowing that he, too wanted oral
stimulation, I 'sat on his face' (as Jim would have said),
and proceeded to suck him. 

He used his hands on me at first, then wiggled so that I
was fucking his mouth. I pumped my shaft into his mouth as
I sucked him off. In a matter of minutes, we were both
spurting our seed into each other. Spent, I collapsed next
to him, and felt his hands on my side ... slowly stroking
along my hip. I did the same to him, moving close to his
groin, and instantly felt his erection grow firm again. 

"I see you still have need of me," I teased, "can you wait
while I recover, or is the need urgent?" 

"You may recover," he said, with a smile that was chilling
in its intensity, " ... a little. Then, I will fuck you
like you have never been fucked before." 

As I fell to sleep, I replied, "Ha -- tu sanosh bek-tor."* 

************** 

I spent the next week with S'chn T'gai ... sharing our
bodies in a way that neither of us had even done before.
How strange it was to be so attuned to another. To know
exactly what sensations were pleasurable, and which were
not. It was close to the feeling I shared with Kirk, but
even that was not as fulfilling as what I had with my
counterpart. After all, we *are* the same person, albeit
with different experiences, and different expectations. 

When he left me this morning, to start his new life on
Vulcan, we promised to keep in touch ... if only to be
there for each other when it was our 'time' again. I look
forward to the day I once again look into that mirror,
darkly reflecting a life that parallels my own, but is so
different at the same time. 

~Ende 

************** 

¥ Spock's full name is from the Pocket Books Novel
"ISHMAEL" by Barbara Hambly, ©May 1985 

*The Vulcan words were found at the online Vulcan 
Language Institute: http://www.teleport.com/~vli/vlif.htm 

Dif-tor heh smusma - Spahkh = Live Long and Prosper, Spock 
Po -- tor katau tu ra sanosh.. Po.. = Why? Does it bring
you 
such pleasure? Why?
T'hy'la -- yontau na'du.. Bolaya lo'uk.. = Beloved ... I
burn for you! My need is great! 
Ha -- tu sanosh bek-tor. = Yes ... I await your pleasure. 

**************