The following is a work of fiction consisting of adult concepts and possibly sex. Do not read if you are not legally permitted. I don't want the police on my front doorstep. You are welcome to read but please don't distribute without my permission. Feel free to make any comments to the author. Send E-Mail to dalech33@hotmail.com Three's a Crowd Bill surveyed his plans for the evening. One game of Trivial Pursuit, one game of Twister, several dirty movies on videotape, and one dozen bottles of wine. And not cheap wine either, there were a few bottles of good plonk here. Grace had often accused Bill of being an oenophile, something that he had taken as an insult until he had looked it up in a dictionary. A connoisseur of fine wines; a grape nut. That sounded like Bill all right, and using a word like oenophile sounded like Grace. She had a college education and liked to flaunt it with a regularity that sometimes had Bill seething, but he knew that he loved her, even with her annoying habit of using rare words, so he put up with it. The fact that she was a goddess in bed also helped. If there was one thing Bill liked better than wine it was sex, and Grace was more than willing to accommodate him on that score. There was only one thing that Grace had not given him, the thing that Bill wanted more than anything. A threesome. And that's what tonight was all about. Grace's best friend, Tanya, was coming over for dinner. Grace had gotten tipsy one night when they had been holidaying in Noosa, and had confided in Bill that Tanya was probably the only woman that she could ever think about going to bed with. That little tit-bit of information had lodged in Bill's brain like a red-hot coal and burned its way into his fantasies. He desperately wanted to have a threesome, after all it was every man's dream, and Tanya was just the sort of woman he wanted to join them. Tanya was beautiful, and if her stories were even half true, very sexually liberated. She had regaled them with a tale one night over drinks, where she had been trapped in an elevator with two men. It had taken the rescue team nearly two hours to get the elevator working again, and in that time Tanya had screwed both guys, several times. She had claimed that it was just a way of passing the time. Bill had decided there and then that he just had to party with this girl. He had managed to get both women to go to a nightclub with him, in the hopes that the music and alcohol would get something going. And dancing with the two girls had been very exciting to start with. But eventually Tanya had found herself dancing with several men, and Bill was left sitting at the table with Grace. Bill had them made the mistake of complaining about Tanya dancing with all those men, and Grace had them accused him of wanting to get into her pants. If he had quickly denied the accusation he might have gotten away with it, but he hesitated and that was all she wrote. He spent the night on the couch while Grace slept behind a locked door. Tanya had gone home with two of the guys she had been dancing with. Things had been a little cool for a while, during which time Bill had done everything to get back into Grace's good books. At first the task had seemed insurmountable, everything Bill tried had failed, but one day Grace had come home to find the living room covered in magnolias, her favourite flower, and couldn't stay mad at her husband any longer. That night they had the most incredible sex they ever had. Unfortunately for Bill he had been so excited, due to the fact that he hadn't had sex for several weeks, that he hurt his back while trying to have sex on the kitchen table. The table was covered in foodstuffs they had been using which made it very slippery. So slippery in fact that Bill had slipped right off the table to land on his back on the cold hard floor. Of course he didn't realise at the time that he had hurt himself so he had climbed straight back onto the horse, so to speak. He had felt it the next day though and had spent the next week taking an analgesic while it healed. But the best thing about the night was that the rift had been healed, and now Bill could pursue his fantasy of a threesome again. Which brings us to tonight. He had invited Tanya over for a night of dinner and Trivial Pursuit, Grace's favourite game. If all went to plan the three of them should be doing the wild thing by midnight. He was checking the vegetable bake that he was cooking when he felt arms around his waist. "Mmm, smells good," said Grace, resting her chin on his shoulder. "I love the way you cook, you're so domesticated." "You think I cook well?" replied Bill, turning to face her, "you should see what I'm like in bed." "I wouldn't mind seeing what you're like on the kitchen floor," said Grace seductively. "Oh would you now?" asked Bill, raising an eyebrow. "And what do we tell Tanya when she lets herself in and finds us going at it in here?" "Oh I know what you would like to tell her," said Grace. "Uh oh," thought Bill, did she know what he was planning? He decided to try to avert her suspicions. "Pull up a chair and help yourself, Tanya, we'll be with you in a day or two." He was relieved when Grace laughed and held him tight. He had managed to avert a disaster, he was sure of that. Grace kissed him before letting him go. "I'm going to get dressed, if Tanya gets here before I'm ready just tell her I'll be down in a sec." Bill watched as she left the kitchen, then set about setting the table in the dining room. He set three places and was just opening the wine when he felt arms around his waist again. "You know," he said, "if you keep this up Tanya will have to eat dinner by herself." He turned to find Tanya looking into his eyes. "Well maybe I will just have to join in then," she said coyly. "Umm, err, hi, Tanya," stammered Bill. "I thought you were Grace." "Well we can't have you mistaking me for your wife, can we?" asked Tanya. "Who knows what would happen?" She winked at him then kissed him on the cheek before letting him go. Bill felt himself starting to blush and tried hard to suppress it. Just then Grace came down the stairs, wearing a slinky black dress. Bill couldn't be entirely sure but it looked like she was not wearing any underwear. She was definitely not wearing a bra. Tanya met Grace at the bottom of the stairs and they kissed politely. "You look wonderful, Gracie", said Tanya, "almost good enough to eat." "Only almost," replied Grace, pretending to be hurt. "Well I didn't want you thinking I would just eat you right here on the stairs," responded Tanya. "Oh, you couldn't do that," said Grace, looking into Tanya's eyes, "you would spoil your appetite. And Bill spent most of the afternoon cooking." She looked at her husband over Tanya's shoulder. "Isn't that right, Bill?" "Umm yes, yes I have," replied Bill, trying hard not to let on that he was sporting a raging hard on. "Speaking of which, I better start serving. If you ladies would care to seat yourselves," he said, pointing to the table, "we can begin." The dinner was a culinary success, roast lamb with vegetable bake, and home made apple pie with cream for desert. And wine of course, plenty of wine. Bill made sure that everyone's glass remained full. After dinner they took their glasses into the living room where Bill had set up a game of Trivial Pursuit on the coffee table. The three friends sat around the table and played for nearly two hours, until at last Grace needed only one more correct answer to win. "What is Idioglossia?" asked Bill peering through an alcoholic fog. "And I'll need that in the form of a question." All three dissolved into a fit of giggles before Grace managed to control herself enough to answer. "What is a psychological condition in which speech is so distorted as to be unintelligible?" "Is that right?" asked Tonya. "I have no idea," replied Bill. "I've been making up questions for the past half hour." All three stared at each other for a minute, before falling about laughing once again. They had consumed several bottles of wine and were feeling very good about themselves. "So what do we do now?" asked Grace. Bill decided it was time to move onto the next phase of his plan. "How about a game of Twister?" he replied. He had planned on playing this, the physical closeness of the game, plus the alcohol could lead to all sorts of things. "How about a game of naked Twister?" said Tanya. "Naked Twister?" asked Grace, "how do you play that?" "Well," said Tanya, "the idea is that if you fail to put a hand or foot where you are supposed too, you have to remove an article of clothing. You can also sell a piece of clothing to change positions." "And how do you get clothing back?" asked Bill. Tanya leaned over until her face was just millimetres from Bill's. "Now what would be the fun in that, big boy?" Bill looked at Tanya, then at Grace, then back at Tanya. "None I suppose," he replied. "Good," said Tanya. She turned back to Grace. "You up for it, Gracie?" "You bet," responded Grace. The trio quickly set up the game of Twister while consuming yet another bottle of wine. The game itself quickly degenerated into a sea of twisted, rapidly disrobing bodies. Bill was completely naked before he had completed two games, leaving Grace and Tanya to play out the last game. Bill spun the wheel for Grace and instructed her to put her right hand on red. Grace promptly fell over, forfeiting her panties, which left her lying on her back completely naked. "Well it looks like Tanya just has to complete this move to win," slurred Bill before draining the wine bottle he had sitting beside him. He spun the wheel again and said, "Left hand on pink." "Pink?" asked Grace, "there is no pink." "He must mean this," said Tanya and gently caressed Grace's naked pussy with her hand. She smiled as Grace moaned slightly and, taking it as a cue, bent down to gently lick where her hand had been. Grace grabbed Tanya's hips and urged her to squat over her face. Tanya complied and Grace reached up to pull her friends g-string aside, before pulling Tanya's wet pussy down onto her face. Bill watched as the two women before him set to work on each other in a classic 69 position. He looked down at his flaccid penis. "Get up," he commanded. Get up now or I swear I will never use you for anything other than pissing ever again." He felt a bit silly about giving his dick an ultimatum, but he was desperate. Here were two beautiful women having sex right in front of him, and his cock looked like old pork sausage that has been in the butchers display case far too long. More moaning from the women caught his attention and he looked up in time to see them both climax simultaneously. He looked back down at his dick to see it stir slightly. "All right," he thought, "now we're cooking with gas." "Bill honey?" Bill looked up and saw that Grace and Tanya were standing now, cuddling together like two schoolgirls. "Yes?" he said. "Tanya and I are going to bed," said his wife. "Uh huh," replied Bill, his mouth hanging open. "We're going to fuck," said Tanya, smiling at Bill. "Uh huh," replied Bill again, whose vocabulary had mysteriously shrunk to just two words. "Do you want to come with us Bill?" asked Grace. "Uh huh." "That's good," said Tanya. "I always wondered what it would be like to fuck you." "Uh huh." "Well," said Grace, "we're going now. Come in when you're ready." She led Tanya up the stairs to the bedroom, pausing occasionally to kiss. Bill watched them go, then got unsteadily to his feet. This was the moment he was waiting for. All these weeks of planning had finally paid off. His fantasy was about to come true. All he had to do was climb those stairs to heaven. Well that, and try to get an erection. At the moment his dick was far from compliant, in fact it appeared to have shrunk. Bill was mildly worried, but he figured that once he got into bed and started to get busy, things would come together. He steadied himself using the back of a lounge chair as he gathered himself for the trip up stairs. He started to walk towards the stairs, but put his foot on a bottle that was lying on the floor. He realised his predicament a second after lifting his other foot off the floor. The bottle beneath his foot rolled, causing first one leg, then two, to fly into the air. He came crashing to earth on his head, causing darkness to sweep over him. His last thought before passing out was, "Not now!" *** Bill was woken by a hand shaking his shoulder. "Wake up, Bill." It was Grace, his wife. She looked down at him as he opened his eyes. "Well it's about time. I thought you were going to sleep the day away." "Day?" asked Bill. "It's daytime?" "Honey, it's nearly noon. Now get up and help me clean up this mess." Grace started picking up empty wine bottles. "What about Tanya?" inquired Bill. "Oh she went home ages ago. She was a bit disappointed that you didn't come upstairs with us." She looked at Bill. "Too be honest, so am I. I thought it was your fantasy to have a threesome." "It was, is," replied Bill. "Well that's a shame, Hon. Tanya and I decided that last night was fun, as an experiment and all, but we don't think we'll do it again. Bill? Honey? Why are you banging your head against the floor? You're not going all masochistic on me, are you?" Bill couldn't hear her, all he could here was "I don't think we'll do it again." He continued to bang his forehead against the floor as Grace walked from the room. The End.