Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Mommy's Love Denied

   By Mathew Elizabeth

   Chapter 3

   I didn't leave my room after that embarrassing moment.  My mother never
bothered to check up on me either.  I threw my face into my pillow and
sobbed myself to sleep.  I didn't hear Ryan and his father leave the house
;I was so out of it.  I decided to man-up and come up with an excuse for my
mother why I did it what I did.  I waddled tirelessly through the dimness
of my room and walked towards the door.  It seemed much bigger than usual.

   As soon as I opened the door I was greeted by my very happy mother.  A
cardboard party hat was placed tightly over her head and whistle in her
mouth.  She blew the party whistle out towards me.

   BLEEEEEEW!  The extended honking sound was in unison with the folding
out curly paper protruding from the whistle.

   "Happy Birthday Scotty!" My mom said cheerfully, " 5-years-old!  My big
man!"

   I longingly looked up at my wonderful mother.  She was so good to me. 
She planned the entire party with my friends and their parents.  She really
worked hard; especially after my dad left her when I was too young to
remember. .

   I was led towards the lounge room and was greeted by my young
kindergarten friends.  Andrew, Josh, Justin and Ryan; they were all there.
They all wished me a happy birthday.  I was so happy; it was going to be a
wonderful day.

   Mom opened the back door to let us play in the backyard.  I ran around
and laughed with my friends for what seemed like hours.

   Mom called for us to come back inside so she can cut the cake and wish
me a happy birthday.  All of us giggled and raced each other back to the
door.

   But something was wrong.  All my friends overtook me and were much
faster.  I tried harder and harder to keep up.  But it was hopeless. 
Instead of the yard getting more dense as I ran forward towards the back
door; the yard got more wide and long.  I could no longer see my friends.
They were inside the house already while I hadn't seemed to move from my
spot.  It was like I was running on a treadmill.

   With much effort I pushed forward.  The sun had instantly gone down and
a stormy evening was approaching.  I finally reached the back door to find
that it was locked.  I knocked on the door and there was no response.  Rain
drops starting hitting my head.

   "Mommy!  Guys!  Let me in!" I was shivering and very cold.  There was
still no answer or response.  But to my horror I heard the song "Happy
Birthday" being sung by my mom and my friends.  Who were they singing it
to? I was outside; not in there!

   "Happy birthday to you!  Happy birthday to you!"

   I clawed along the bricks of the house and looked into the back window.
I saw everyone around the table.  All my friends had party hats on and
plates in front of them; ready to eat my birthday cake.  4-year-old Ryan
was standing up with my mom behind him for some reason.  Ryan wasn't
singing the song.

   "Happy birthday; dear Ryan!  Happy birthday to you!"

   "What??" I squealed from outside the window.  Tears were streaming down
my innocent face.  A banged my hand's hard on the glass; calling out!  No
one heard me or saw.  Rain started to really poor down; I was wet and
freezing.

   "Mommy!  Mommy!  What about me mommy?!  Its my birthday party!  Its my
life!  Can any of you hear me?!"

   Ryan then blew the candles.  The flames disappeared and became wisps' of
smoke; just like my life had been snuffed.

   "Hiphip!  Hurray!  Hiphip!  Hurray!" All my friends and my mother called
out to Ryan the birthday boy.

   My mother then gave Ryan the most adoring kiss on his forehead.

   "Did you make a wish honey?" Mom asked Ryan lovingly with her arms
around his shoulders.

   "Yes mommy," Ryan smiled up at her, "It already came true,"

   My eyes open and I woke up.  My face was all tight and crusty from the
tears of embarrassment yesterday.  I was 13-year-old again.  It was just a
dream.  It didn't mean anything; did it?  There were more pressing matters
hand; such as how I deal with my life.  What did my mother think of me now?
Will Ryan brag about the humiliating spanking story at school?

   I entered the kitchen where my mother was already waiting.  She was
wearing her baggy silk gown again.  I was too depressed to be disappointed
with that anymore.  Her beautiful naked body would be denied to me forever.
I discreetly shuffled past her while she washed the dishes; retrieving my
breakfast cereal and milk.  I sat on the table.  There was an awkward
silence that made me extremely uncomfortable.

   "Scott..." My mother began, still washing things up near the kitchen
sink, " I...I have an idea why you offered yourself for punishment in such
a way yesterday,"

   "Mom...I wasn't thinking straight I-"

   "Let me finish," She stopped me, " I believe it was a cry for
attention."

   I continued to be silent.

   "I mean..." She continued, " we haven't really spent much time with each
other since you started middle-school.  Remember...remember when we would
go out and rent a movie and get a large ice-cream sunday together?" She
smiled sweetly when she mentioned that, " I mean I know it's not cool to
hang around with your mother after school.  But you have always been my
baby boy and I love you."

   Those words warmed my heart so much.  I felt like I was going to cry
again.  Not tears of humiliation and sadness this time; but tears of joy.
My mommy loved me and I loved her.  I missed having a large ice-cream
sunday with her and renting a movie to watch in the lounge-room.

   "Mom," I smiled longingly at her, "That sounds great.  I would love to
spend time with you after school again."

   "Great sweetie," She walked up to me and kissed me on the forehead, "I'm
so happy,"

   I arrived at school very happy.  No amount of teasing from my friends
could hurt my feelings this time.  If Ryan brings up the spanking thing;
I'll just deny it.  I met up with my four friends in our usual spot and I
was pleased to notice that Ryan had never said a thing.  Fantastic; Ryan
might have finally learned to act mature for a change.

   The school day went on like normal until math class.  We were all
sitting around on our solo tables and chairs.  Our male maths teacher was
writing numbers and equations on the board that I couldn't hope to
understand.  I was hopeless at math.  Both Ryan and Justin were in my class
and were a year younger than me because they started school early.  They
were better at math than I was.

   I daydreamed in class and looked longingly into my notebook for a while.
I couldn't wait for the day to end and spend time with my loving mommy. 
The daydream was interrupted when a piece of A4 paper flew onto my desk. 
The girl on the adjacent desk lightly passed it to me with an awkward
frown. I looked at the drawing on the piece of paper.  My eyes widened and
my pupil's dilated to the most obscene, heart shattering drawing I could
ever receive.

   The drawing on the piece of paper was of my mother.  She was crudely
labelled 'Scott's Mom'.  Her eyes were bulging and her tongue was sticking
out; she looked like a crazy slut.  They made her face look so ugly.  Her
figure was drawn butt-naked; her ass twice as big as real life.  Her head
was too small for her body.  She was bent over and her hands were spreading
her ass-cheeks apart.  Green gas was drawn expelling from her anus.  Below
the drawing was labelled 'Fart Monster'.

   I scrunched up the drawing in frustration.  The entire class laughed at
me; even the girl next to me.  I looked over towards where Ryan and Justin
was sitting.  Ryan smiled at me and waved; giving me the most evil grin. 
The fucking jealous little shit!  Making fun of my mom's looks!  Who care's
if her ass is big!  All the better!  Andrew, Josh and Justin at least had
some taste and understood that well enough.  Those guys knew her big ass
was wonderful.  Why couldn't Ryan realise that?  For once I was mad that my
mother wasn't being sexualised for a change.

   I ran out of the classroom; leaving my school backpack near my desk and
not asking permission to leave.  I wasn't crying this time; I was raging.
My face was hot and red like a demon as I walked to the nearest open bin
can.  I opened up the scrunched up piece of paper and looked at the
ridiculous drawing one last time.  With a heave in my throat; I tore the
paper in half.  I gritted my teeth and tore the halves in quarters.  I
clapped the pieces together with an explosive pop between the palm of my
hands; crumbling the pieces and tearing them into bits too.  I made it
impossible for anyone to recognise or repair the drawing.

   "Mom is not a fart monster!  She's my mommy!" I heaved; breathing in and
out near the bin, " I love and adore her!  I will never let people
disrespect her!  She loves me with all her heart and I will defend her
honour forever!"

   With that I separated myself from Ryan and the group for the rest of the
day.  I let out a sigh of relief when the end school bell rung.  The rest
of the evening and afternoon was going to be a date with my mommy-goddess.
I was so excited.

   When I returned walking home from school.  Mom and I instantly drove out
of the driveway and decided to get some early take-out for dinner.  When we
were in the car; mom lovingly put her right hand on my wrist.  I smiled at
that.  This evening was going to be heaven.  It was going to be a hot
afternoon and evening; so my mother had the air conditioning on.

   Mom and I collected some takeout chicken and ate together in the
restaurant.  We just talked about school and work.  It was nice.  After
that; we went to the video store to collect our movie.  Mom was usually in
the mood for romantic-comedies.  I was just happy to spend time with my
mother so I just let her choose what she wanted to watch.  To my surprise
she chose a science fiction drama.  I looked at the title and instantly
knew what the movie was.

   It was a movie about a grieving mother struggling to cope with the loss
of her 9-year-old son.  She is stunned when her psychiatrist and her
husband tell her that she has created nine years of memories of a son she
never had.  But when she meets the father of one of her son's friend who is
having the same experience, she embarks on a mission to prove her son's
existence and her sanity.

   It was a strange and heart-warming film.  I remember watching it alone.
It was late at night in my room and the movie was playing on my television.
I remembered the dream I had in the morning.  The thought of not existing
and everyone going on with life without me was sad and turned my stomach.
The film showed it through the dedicated mothers point of view though; so
the film might be therapeutic.

   We left the video store and made our final stop to the Ice-cream
parlour. Mom and I ordered our jumbo sized chocolate sunday.  With spoons
in our hands; we dug in.  We both looked innocently into each others eyes
as we stuffed our mouths full of ice-cream and syrup.  I was so happy.  It
was just like old times.  We finished up with big smiles and full stomachs
and drove home.

   It was 6:30 in the evening and it was dark when we returned home.  My
schoolbag was still left on the kitchen table.  While I was about to put
the movie in the player I noticed mom grab my schoolbag and search through
it.  I didn't mind.  Mom usually did that to clear out my lunchbox just in
case I didn't eat anything.  I put the movie in the machine when I heard my
mother gasp and yelp.

   "Oh my god!" Mom yelled with a look of absolute disgust, "What is this?"

   "What's what mommy?" I ask, running into the kitchen area.

   "This...This filth!' Mom scorned at me; shaking and teary eyed.

   Mom held up a piece of paper in display.  My heart dropped and my
stomach crumbled.  It was Ryan's drawing of my mom.  It must have been a
replica drawing.  It had the exact same silly expression on it.  Her head
was still too small for her body and green gas expelled out of her drawn
ass.  The labelling and title were completely different.  Instead of it
saying 'Scott's Mom' above her head, it said, 'My Mom'.  Plus instead of
being titled 'Fart Monster!', it was titled 'Fart Bitch!".

   I looked into my mothers eyes and saw the disappointment and heartbreak
in her face.  I was about to explain to her that it wasn't me.

   "HOW DARE YOU!" She screamed at me; tears welling down her cheeks, "I
LOVE YOU AND TAKE CARE OF YOU YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!  AND THIS IS HOW YOU THINK
OF ME?!  IVE NEVER BEEN SO ASHAMED!"

   "But...But Mommy" I tried to explain calmly, "It wasn't me it was Ry-"

   "DON"T LIE!  I FOUND IT IN YOUR BACKPACK AND IT IS LABELLED AS 'MY
MOM'!"

   "I swear, I didn-!"

   "YOU DID THIS AS REVENGE FOR MAKING YOU APOLOGISE TO RYAN DIDN"T YOU?!"

   "No!  No mommy I would nev-!"

   "I offer you my love and attention!" She cried, extremely upset "I
thought you and I were going to be good friends like we used to be." Tears
streamed down moms cheeks, she looked down and didn't look me in the eyes.
"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

   My heart was thumping so hard that it hurt.

   "But mommy it wasn't me." I said whimpering, my lips wiggling.  "I love
you and I want to spend time with you!  I thought we were going to wa-!"

   "Get out of my SIGHT!" She screamed.  "GO to your room and don't you
dare come out!  I don't want to see or talk to you!"

   "Mommy!" I cried and begged, "Please no mommy!"

   "GO AWAAY!!" She bellowed.  Her eyes wide with devastated tears.

   I walked away crying.  Even though I didn't draw the picture; I felt so
ashamed.  I had never seen my mother look at me like that before.  Her
beautiful face expressed a combination of dread, confusion, horror and
resentment.  I would never see that innocent expression she gave my in the
ice-cream parlour ever again.  I sobbed while walking to my room.  I closed
the door and promised myself I wouldn't leave my room; for my mommy.

   I crashed onto the bed; dampening my pillow with my tears and decided to
get undressed.  I cried getting naked.  My cock was limp and soft.  It got
scared.  But I needed something to relieve what I was feeling.  I was
feeling shame!  My mother was so ashamed of me!  I holster my fingers
between my balls and base and lightly tug at my member.  I sat at the edge
of my bed and stared cloudy eyed at my bedroom door.  It only took twenty
seconds for my penis to swell hard with blood.

   "Mom!" I hissed, pulling my cock backwards and forwards.  "I'm so sorry
Mom!  I'm such a bad son mommy!  Please forgive me!"

   I was beyond help.  It didn't matter what I knew Ryan did.  My mom
believed that I drew that crude drawing of her.  So in a way; I must of. 
It doesn't matter how and it's doesn't matter why; but mommy is ashamed of
me drawing that picture.  So I was ashamed of myself.

   "I'm so soowwwy mommy!" I plead, pulling my cock harder and faster.  My
eyes were squinted and they were flooded with pools of tears.  My stiff
cock was wet from pre-cum and sweat as it danced harshly between the grasp
of my slippery hand.

   While I masturbated I thought about the wonderful night my mother and I
could of had.  I thought about sitting on the coach; eating popcorn,
watching the movie and laughing and crying with her.  Instead I was in this
lonely box, forced to be by myself.

   KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

   I heard someone knock on the front door of the house.  The sound of moms
shuffling feet skimmed past my room.  The creaking of the front door
opening was followed by pleasant banter.

   " Oh Hello!" My mom said very friendly.

   "I'm really sorry to bother you this evening Pen," I heard Ryan's father
say.  "I totally forgot I had night-shift tonight and management will fire
me if I miss this.  I know its extremely short notice; but do you think you
could mind Ryan tonight?"

   "Hi Ryan," I heard mom say to someone else.

   "Hey," I hear 12-year-old Ryan reply.

   "Ummm are you ok?" Ryans dad asked mom, "you seem upset."

   "Oh...I just yelled at Scott a while ago,"

   "What did he do?" Ryan asked in a teasing tone.

   "Ryan!" his dad yelled, "Don't ask that stuff.  Its none of your
business.  Sorry Pen"

   "Its fine," mom said gracefully, " and I would be happy to mind Ryan
tonight.  I need the company now anyway.  What time will you be back?"

   "Eleven; its just a four hour shift.  But its an important one."

   "No problem,"

   After I heard a car reverse out of the driveway; the front door clicked
shut and I returned my hand to my penis, awaiting to hear Mom and my friend
speak.

   "So Scott's in his room," Ryan asked.

   "Yeah," Mom replied, "He did something hurtful to me that I don't want
to talk about."

   There was silence for a couple of seconds.  I squeezed my penis eagerly.

   "Do you mean the fart drawing?" I heard Ryan say.

   "How did you know about that?" Mom asked surprised.

   "I saw Scott draw it." Ryan said in a matter of fact tone.

   Liar!  I cried and whimpered in my room as I pulled my cock faster
again. I was about to pounce off my bed; open the door and yell at him. 
But I thought about my mothers words.

   "GO to your room and don't you dare come out!" I remembered her yell, "
I don't want to see or talk to you!"

   "Yes mommy" I said with the most dramatic frown, "I will obey you!"

   "He made photo copies as well.  " 12-year-old Ryan continued, "He handed
them out to boys in the classroom!  When I received one on my table I tore
it to shreds out of respect for you."

   "How could he do this?  Was it because I made him apologise to you?" Mom
asked concerned.

   "...That's what he said.  It was a revenge thing yeah." Ryan concluded.

   I didn't hear anything for a couple of minutes after that.  Just some
shuffling about.

   "Wanna share some popcorn with me?" Mom asked, "I'm going to watch a
movie.  I was going to watch it with Scott tonight.  But I shouldn't let it
go to waste."

   "Yeah that sounds fine,"

   "No mommy!" I continued to hiss in my room pulling my cock at a more
frantic pace.  Memories of my dream I had in the morning came back to me.
"Don't watch the movie with him!  I love you mommy; please!  Don't do this
to me!  Please don't forget about me mommy!  Please don't forget!"

   Movie previews started with the sound of a crash and a bang from the
speakers.  The sound of a very funny comedy preview was playing.  I heard
Ryan and Mom laugh and giggle with one another.  My face went pale and my
arm ached as I almost reached climax.  I could hear them both laughing
happily with one another!

   I closed me eyes still tugging my cock faster and faster.  I imagined
myself standing outside of my house and looking into one of my windows.  I
could see Ryan and my mom laughing and flopping around on the couch in
hilarity.  They weren't watching television.  They were staring at the
window and looking at me.  They were warm and comfy inside while I was cold
and wet outside.  I saw them point and jeer at my from within.  They were
pointing at my little penis and making fun of me.

   Naked and alone I pulled harder and harder at my penis.  They both
seemed to be very entertained.  My voyeurs pointed and whispered sensual
conspicuous things into each others ears.  I whaled and cried from the
outside.  Tear drops ran down my nose.  I heaved and moaned longingly with
my cries.  They both laughed harder and harder the closer I reached climax.
The thought of them laughing at me sent shivers down my spin and powerful
thoughts of humiliation and helplessness.

   They both got off the couch and kneeled by the window; unable to contain
their strained laughter.  I pulled harder and harder.  Both Ryan and my mom
stared intently with face's of hilarity and amazement at how small my
little prick was.  They didn't even bother to look me in the eyes.  They
just had their eyes glued onto my sticky aching penis that was about to
climax.

   "Please Mommy" I squealed from the outside, "Please don't forget me! 
Please don't stop loving me!  MOM!!  MOMMY!!!"

   With that I squirted my cum on the imaginary window.  They both laughed
and clapped as my little wee-wee spasmed and twirled in delight and the
milk sprayed unevenly on the imaginary glass.  I shake and shudder on my
bed in the darkness of my room like a dying spider and passed out.

   My imaginary mother stuck her middle finger up at me and flipped me off
from inside through the window.  My eyes were wide with horror and
heartbreak as she stood up with 12-year-old Ryan; turned around and
lovingly placed her arm over his skinny bony shoulders.  She swiftly shut
the curtains; shutting me out of her life for good.  No; no mommy!

   I opened my eyes and looked at the clock.  A couple of hours had past. I
could hear the music from the rolling credits of the movie.  It's amazing
how much time had passed when I crashed out asleep.  Ryan and Mom had
already watched the movie together.  As the music dimmed I heard Mom and
Ryan talk again.

   "Did you enjoy the movie Ryan?" I heard mom ask him.

   "Yeah," He began, "It was really interesting and very touching.  The mom
really loved the son enough to search that much?"

   "That's what mothers are for," My mom said sweetly.

   "I wish I had a mom," I heard 12-year-old Ryan say pretty emotional.

   "Awe sweetie.  You have family.  That's all that matters.  Your father
and your older brother love you."

   "I know but I don't get that warm tender feeling that the movies show."

   "Awww...sweetie," Mom cooed.

   "Tell you what would be great; and i'm only saying this because Scott is
asleep," Ryan began, "Could I call you 'mommy' once and a while?  I mean;
your the closest person to a mother I have ever been with.  I've never
known what its like to call a person 'mommy'."

   My eyes widen in the darkness.  No no no!!

   "Oh Ryan sweetie that's so cute," Mom said very lovingly, " I don't
think Scott would like that very much hun."

   "Its ok," Ryan hissed in an excited whisper, "He doesn't have to know. I
could just call you 'mommy' when he's not in the same room or something and
you could call me 'son' or 'honey-bun'.  We could treat it as a silly
game."

   "Oh," Mom giggled awkwardly, "I don't know about this Ryan,"

   "PLeeease," Ryan said, "I know it sounds silly.  But this is really
important for me.  I want to know what it feels like to have a mother."

   You mean have a mother all to yourself, I thought.  Your not seriously
going to go through with this silly desperate game are you mother?

   "Ok Ryan," Mom said, "We will do this.  But remember though.  No saying
these things in front of Scott."

   I shoved my sweaty face into my pillow with devastated frustration.

   "Thankyou so much....Mommy." Ryan giggled in delight.

   "No problem...My little Honey-Bun," She giggled back.

   For some reason I knew.  I always knew.  This was the beginning of the
end.
   To be continued.....