Title: Cierra's Diary: Confessions - Chapter Two

Author: Neko Niece

Keywords: f(16) {Flashback M g(7)} Incest, Petting, Non-Consent

Summary: 16yo Cierra is confronted by the ramifications of her past.



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A Tale from Cierra's Diary

Confessions 
Chapter Two


   It had started to rain by the time my mother came from the prosecuting
attorney's office.  It wasn't a heavy rain, just a sprinkling.  Enough to
make rivulet's down the window and darken the still hot pavement.  Even so
she jiggled as she ran, ducking her head over her purse.  I guess she was
afraid that the makeup and the skirt she always wears to church... once a
year at Christmas... would be ruined.  She'd even styled her hair.  Yeah.
For this.

   "Hey kiddo," she said as she slid into the driver's seat.  "I was
thinking.  Would you like to go for ice cream, or maybe we could stop
somewhere for lunch?"

   I looked at her and blinked.  Was she even serious?  Yeah.  I think she
was.  I reached over and turned on the radio.  "Party Like A Rockstar" was
in full blast, effectively drowning out any need for a response.

   I looked out the window at the stone building the office was in
downtown. The brass cornerstone read 1908 and the US flag sagged as it
slowly soaked up the rain.  I traced a beading trickle of water with my
finger as gravity pulled it ever down the side window.

   The car started, and I held my gaze away from my mother.  It wasn't that
I didn't love her.  I did.  But too much had happened.  Too much that I
couldn't talk to her about.  Not even now that she knew.  Especially now.

   No, instead I watched as we passed by the rain dampened buildings and
pretended to listen to the radio.  The opening to "A Whole New World" began
to play on the radio.  Toddy and I both loved Aladdin.  We must have
watched it hundreds of times until the VHS tape finally gave up and died,
not to mention all the times he would pretend he was Aladdin and I was
PRINCESS Jasmine.  Oh yes, even back then I nurtured a crush on the poor
boy.

   We were actually watching Aladdin when Uncle Marty first brought me into
his own little secret world.

   It was a few days after the incident in the garage.  I'd found out later
that my Uncle Marty had been true to his word.  He hadn't told on either me
or Toddy.  The cover story had been his idea in fact.  Todd had been into
his tools again and that was why he was punished.  Neither my Aunt nor my
Mom had any reason to question the story.

   I had been so relieved.

   After that day, my uncle and me became inseparable buds.  I really liked
him for not telling on us.  Toddy told me later that night his dad talked
to him about what happened and had explained some things to him, but he was
glad too.  For a while, everything was great.

   Then as I said, one day as I was watching Aladdin with Toddy for the
umpteenth time when my uncle came in and sat down on the couch.  He was
holding a glass of iced tea and was wearing his Snoopy and the Red Baron
Tshirt... And of course shorts.

   "Hey Kiddo," he said to catch my attention.  "Wanna sit up here and
cuddle a bit?"

   DID I ever!  I thought he was the best person in the world and I loved
it when he asked me to do things with him.  So with a glace to see if Todd
minded, I moved from the floor to the couch.  I don't think Toddy even
realized I'd gone from sitting right next to him and I thought that was
pretty funny.  I giggled and snuggled into my Uncle Marty's side.  He
offered me a sip of his iced tea, which I of course too, and put his arm
around me as we settled in to watch the movie.

   To be honest, I don't remember how his hand got to where it did.  I just
remember being shocked by the realization that something was brushing up
against my koneko.  Ok, so I didn't call it back then.  That pet name
didn't actually materialize until many years later after I started getting
involved with Japanese animation.  "Neko" is the word for cat, while "ko"
denotes something of small size or stature.  I don't know if it is
technically a term that is used by anyone else.  Probably not, since I made
it up myself.  So, in essence it was my "little kitty" that was being
touched.  Understand now?  Thought you might.

   I looked down saw his hand between my legs.  The palm rested on my thigh
with his pointer finger snug up against the material of my shorts, right at
the vee.  It was almost an imperceptible movement of his finger, but in an
area that wasn't used to touch, it was like turning on the stereo full
blast in a room that has been silent for hours.  There wasn't any way that
I couldn't notice.

   I looked up at him, my eyes sought his, but he was carefully watching
the television.  I was confused and more than a little afraid.  I remember
thinking about the safety lessons in school where they teach children that
no one should touch you there and I was terrified that something bad was
going to happen because now someone had.  I didn't know what would happen,
but I was expecting -something-.  After all, there had to be some sort of
reason it was a bad touch.  So I stayed absolutely still and pretended it
wasn't happening while waiting for perhaps a great agonizing pain or
perhaps I'd get sick and die or who knows what.  Yet nothing happened
except for my tummy being queasy with worry.  All the time my stomach was
sick.  I wanted to get away, but I was afraid to move.

   Just as the movie was getting over and Aladdin and Jasmine were hugging
a tearful reunion, Uncle Marty stopped his caress and took his hand away.
As the ending credits began he mussed up my hair like he always did and
asked me if I liked the movie.  I was completely befuddled.  He didn't act
any different at all and I was somehow free from whatever it was that was
bad.  Not to mention that I didn't want to believe my beloved uncle was a
bad man.  The type that they told us about.  Everyone said that I should
tell someone if anyone touched me there.  But, he didn't tell on me.  I
knew I couldn't.

   So I just nodded.

   He gave me a big hug and smile.  "You know what Kiddo?" he asked me.  "I
really love you," he told me with another hug.  I swear that I felt all the
badness that had previously had me paralyzed with fright, melt away under
that hug.

   "Do you remember how I kept your secret with Todd?" he whispered into my
ear then looked into my eyes as we practically pushed our noses together.

   I nodded that I did, my arms still around his neck from the hug.

   "Good," he said quietly as he kissed the tip of my nose.  "Because I
want to ask that you keep our secret."

   I didn't have to ask what secret he meant.  I already knew.  "I won't
tell," I whispered back.  "Ever."

   He grinned and hugged me again as I fiercely clung to him.  Toddy got up
and stopped the VHS and turned to look at us.  He sorta rolled his eyes and
announced he was going outside to play.

   "Wait for me," I declared suddenly and squirmed until I was on my feet
and ran after my cousin.

   I've kept our secret Uncle Marty, I mused as Mom pulled into our
driveway.  She clicked off the ignition, cutting Bon Jovi off without a
prayer.  I just stared at the dripping pine tree in our front yard.

   After a few moments of silence, Mom said, "You coming in or you going to
sit out here?" I could tell she was annoyed.  She always did when the plans
she made don't work out the way she envisioned them.  That's how I knew how
much of a disappointment to her that I truly was.

   I didn't answer, just watched as a squirrel hopped from the branch on
the pine onto the electrical line.  Or perhaps it was the cable line.  How
should I know what it was anyway?

   "Fine then," my mom said after yet more silence.  It's amazing how many
times I've made people say that very line in disgust.  "Be sure to lock the
car up before you come in."

   Lock the car.  Right.  Why?  Who really cares if the car got stolen
anyway?  Like anyone would want the old piece of crap.  I didn't say that
aloud, but it wouldn't have mattered as the car door opened and shut.

   I watched my mother jiggle her way into the house through the reflection
in the window.  I didn't even have to turn my head.  I felt a pang that
she'd left me even though I wanted to be alone.  If I was her, I probably
wouldn't care about me either, I presumed.

   Putting my palm against the car window, I could feel the tiny plicks of
raindrops as they beat against the glass.  The warmth of my hand steamed
the cooling glass slightly so that it left an imprint when I took my hand
away.

   "I kept our secret Uncle Marty," I repeated again, this time out loud.
"Why did you have to go and screw everything up?" I screamed into the
silence.

   That was when the tear muscles in my throat began working overtime.



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