Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Title: The White Rose Crisis Ch.  05


Summary: Will makes surprising new discoveries about his family.


Keywords: inc,fic



   Part 5: The Final Spiral

   --

   I travelled home in silence, the radio off, my mind turning all the
facts over and over until I thought the top of my skull was going to pop
off.  My cousin Lucy was sleeping with my ex, Taylor, and I had watched
them play with each other.  My Auntie Ellie, who slept with her own brother
and fell in love with him, knew I might have committed incest at my older
sister's wedding.

   And then there was me, who didn't know who I had slept with in my
drunken state up in that dark room.  Me, who had gone up there thinking it
was Taylor waiting for me with her face down and ass up on the bed.  Me,
who still didn't know who owned the silk white rose that had fallen off of
that girl's dress during sex and ended up in my possession, a constant,
haunting reminder that it wasn't all a dream.

   I clutched the rose in my pocket, feeling the material between my
fingers and pondering fretfully on its owner.  It had sat in a box with a
list of other clues to the girl's identity for several days, torturing me
every time I lifted the lid.  I was closer to solving the mystery now, but
it had been a harrowing journey.

   My mother - thank God - still had her rose pinned to her dress when I
stumbled into her a few minutes after the event, having just found out that
Taylor hadn't been anywhere near the room and had no memory of having sex.
My mother is remarkably similar in size and shape to my sisters; obviously
that's where they get their looks from, so I was glad to check her off the
list of people who had access to that room at the wedding.

   After a few days of living in fear I successfully proved it wasn't my
little sister Jaimi, who gave me a monstrous scare after I found a
pregnancy test and a pair of red underwear, the same colour as those of my
mystery girl.  She had come to me filled with despair after frolicking in
the bushes with some random guy at the wedding reception, risking a
pregnancy and staining her rose in the process, which she later produced to
my great relief.

   Then after guiltily spying on my cousin Lucy and Taylor having sex -
which caught me completely by surprise - I managed to confirm that Lucy was
different enough from the girl I remember that they couldn't have been the
same person.  I still wanted to see her rose in some of the photos
somewhere, just to confirm it, but my mind was at ease slightly knowing
that she had probably been with Taylor the whole time, thinking back on
other photos I had seen so far of them together.

   Getting busted by my Auntie Ellie watching the two of them turned out to
be a good thing, in a way.  Ellie assured me that I hadn't slept with her
by accident either, and told me all about her own experiences with incest
when she was living with her brother.  She offered more support than I
thought I would ever get from anyone, and also gave me a USB stick of
photos from the wedding - some professional ones I hadn't seen yet.  This
could contain the clue I needed to solve the mystery, which, to my regret,
had been narrowed down to two remaining people.

   One of them was now my girlfriend.  The other...the last possible
relative on my list.

   As I pulled into the driveway at home my phone started to go off in my
pocket.  It was Meghan calling.  Knowing it was late already, I got out as
quietly as I could and headed for the back door, hoping not to wake anyone
inside as I answered the phone.

   "Hello?"

   "It's me."

   "Hi, just give me a second ok?" I crept through the kitchen and headed
for the stairs leading up to my room, noticing the T.V.  was still on in
the lounge room and hoping it was just Jaimi watching some late night show.


   "Meghan?" I said quietly, entering my room.

   "Hey, I didn't wake you did I?  I know it's late -"

   "No, no," I mumbled, emptying my pockets and throwing my wallet, keys
and the rose on the bed.  "You just finished work right?"

   "Yeah."

   "Ok.  How was it?" I kept up the small talk as I turned on my laptop and
plugged in the thumb drive.  I probably should have been more focused but I
needed answers and didn't want to wait.

   "It, it was fine."

   "Ok, good." I realised there was a pause from Meghan as I entered my
password and got to the desktop, opening the USB folder.  "Is everything
ok?"

   "...I got a response from that company." I immediately stopped what I
was doing and started properly listening.

   Meghan was smarter than me, and talented too.  She had applied for her
dream job in computer programming at a game company, a real opportunity for
her that could mean big things in the future.  She had been teaching
part-time at a 3D animation school alongside her bar work and this opening
was just what she was looking for.  I crossed my fingers mentally and
physically.

   "Ok, so, what did they say?" There was another pause.

   "I didn't get it."

   "Oh, oh Meghan I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry."

   "They said I didn't have enough experience, they needed a programmer,
not a teacher." I could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke.  "They
suggested I find work in some other department of I.T.  first."

   "I know how much this meant to you." I really didn't know what else to
say.  "I'm sorry, hun." A small sob came through the phone.

   "I don't know when I'll get another chance like that." Her voice was
cracking slightly, like she was holding back tears.  I heard a car stopping
somewhere outside, and my computer was ready to use, but I ignored it all.

   "It's not just that.  Work was bad...it was a really busy night and I
was working basically on my own, and I was told to close up finally and you
know it takes at least half an hour, and as I was finishing some people
came into the bar and the manager made me open up again just to serve
them...I was already meant to be going home!"

   I sat down at my desk, my heart sinking as I listened to her.  She had
been doing so well since leaving her last partner, but now it sounded like
she was hitting a very low point of depression again.

   "They were abusive too, they always are when they see us being pushed
around by the managers.  They know we have to do everything for them and
treat us like crap!"

   "Oh hun, how can they do that to you?  You can't stay there if this
keeps happening."

   "What choice do I have, I can't afford to leave, and I can't find any
other work." She was crying now, unable to hold it back anymore.  I heard
movement in the house, doors opening and closing and the sound of
conversation floating up from downstairs.  Part of me wondered who was
moving around this late at night but I was too concerned about Meghan to
dwell on it any further.

   "Is there something I can do, anything I can do to help?"

   "...come over?" It might have sounded silly but our decision to go from
friends into a relationship was still new and I hadn't stayed the night
yet. As it got later it was very unlikely I'd be safe to drive home in my
tired state, assuming Meghan didn't want me to sleep over.  I only paused
for a moment, half listening to someone laughing downstairs, but Meghan
must have sensed my hesitation.

   "Please Will, I need you," she said in a quiet voice.  In that moment of
need, when someone as strong as her wasn't ashamed to admit it, my mind was
made up.

   "I'm on my way," I said firmly, standing back up and pushing my chair
under my desk.  I didn't even hear the creak of the staircase, or the sound
of footsteps on the landing outside my door.  "I'll see you soon, ok?"

   "Ok.  Will...I love you." I froze hearing those words.  Those short,
simple words, spoken softly by someone who had meant more to me for longer
than all of my previous girlfriends combined.  There was only one thing I
could say.

   "I love you too." I hung up and turned to grab my keys off my bed, the
conversation still playing over in my head.

   I wasn't alone.

   Sarah, my older sister, who had been on her honeymoon and I hadn't seen
since her wedding, stood in the door, staring at me.  I was so surprised at
her appearance that I didn't even react.  Slowly her gaze dropped to my
hand, reaching for my keys which were sitting on the bed beside my
wallet...

   ...and the white rose.

   I glanced down, my mind registering what had caught her attention, and
with a sudden epiphany I looked back up at her, just as her eyes came back
up to look at me.  We stood staring at each other across the room, silent
except for the sound of our breathing.

   Without a word, Sarah turned and walked out of my room, closing the door
quietly behind her.

   --

   I drove to Meghan's place.  I parked on the street, buzzed my way in and
took the lift up to her level.  She opened the door with fresh tears on her
face and collapsed into a hug.  I led her to the couch where we curled up
quietly, and within a few minutes Meghan had fallen asleep in my arms.

   I started to drift myself but my phone going off disturbed me.  In a
daze I looked at the message; it was from Jaimi.

   - newlyweds back from honeymoon.  did u see sarah?  where r u?

   I fell asleep out of sheer mental exhaustion, to thoughts of betrayal,
misery and fear.

   --

   I got home late the next morning, but as it was a Saturday my mother was
in the kitchen making tea instead of at work.  She looked up as I entered
and her eyebrows knitted together with worry.

   "Will!  Where were you last night?  I was worried!"

   "Sorry Mum, Meghan had a bad day and asked me to come over."

   "Oh dear, is everything alright?"

   "No, not really.  She missed out on a really important job opportunity.
I think she's feeling depressed again."

   "Ohhh, the poor thing, and she works so hard too." She walked over and
gave me a hug.  "I'm so glad she has you for support." She drew back, then
her expression brightened.  "Hey, guess what?  Sarah and Michael are back,
they got in last night.  I'm sure they'd love to see the both of you, and
it would give Meghan a good distraction.  Maybe you should organise
something?"

   "Yeah...sure Mum, I'll mention it to Meghan."

   "Ok good, and give her our best, and let her know we are all here for
her if she needs support." She tapped my cheek and went back to her tea,
carrying it into the living room as I mounted the stairs.

   I shut the door to my bedroom and sighed with exhaustion, looking around
the room.  Obviously nothing had moved or changed since I had last been in
here, less than twelve hours ago, but at the same time everything was
different.  The white rose sat in the middle of my bed where I had left it
- where Sarah had seen it - and a blinking light on my laptop indicated it
was in sleep mode, waiting to be used with the thumb drive still plugged in
the side.

   It seemed like a futile gesture but I sat down at the desk and woke the
laptop up, opening the photo folder.  Sure enough, flicking through the
pictures I saw Lucy with her rose firmly attached to her dress, and so was
Meghan's - the only other person I hadn't confirmed yet.  A few clicks
later I saw it, the one photo that I had been looking for, all this time.

   I stared at the image in front of me, of several people posing with
drinks in their hands.  Among them, my little cousin Amy - holding a coke,
of course - and some of my other relatives.  On the far left at the bar,
Taylor sat with Lucy and one of my other cousins, Casey, who I had seen
with Taylor after coming downstairs.  I assumed now that the three of them
had been talking about girl-on-girl sex together, given Taylor's happy new
direction she was going in.

   And in the background, coming through the door to the hallway leading
upstairs, stood Sarah, looking ruffled and missing her white rose.

   I slept with Sarah.  There was no doubt in my mind now.  No way around
it, no explanations left to cling to, no hopes of redemption.  I had sex
with my sister on her wedding day.  I slept with my sister.

   The only question was...would she tell anyone?  I leaned back in my
chair, my face in my hands, concern at the question filling my head.  She
had obviously figured it out when she saw her rose sitting on my bed, but
so far it seemed like nothing had happened.  I slept with my sister.

   If Mum had known she would have said something the moment I stepped foot
back in the house.  I was confined to quarters for a month for breaking
three vases when I was eight, and I had been lucky not to be thrown out on
my ass even at that age.  She definitely hasn't told Mum then.  I hoped she
would never know.

   I slept with my sister.

   I couldn't leave matters like this, but I couldn't think what my next
move should be.  I doubted I'd be able to talk to Sarah about it - even if
I knew what to say, which I didn't.  Mum would never be able to talk about
incest, it would probably break her heart.  She didn't even know about
Auntie Ellie and their brother Ben.

   I slept with my sister.

   I closed my laptop and walked over to my bed, pulling out the small box
I had hidden underneath it.  I took out several of the photos I had printed
out and looked down the handwritten list I had made after the close
encounter with Jaimi, realising how different it looked to my enlightened
eyes.

   red underwear

   soft long(ish) hair - straight?  Wavy?

   bright nails?

   breasts - not as small as Meghan's, larger

   pubic hair - short, trimmed, dark colour

   missing rose

   Red underwear.

   I cringed, thinking how racy it was to wear sexy red undies underneath a
bride's dress and hating myself for having that thought about my own
sister.

   Soft long(ish) hair - straight?  Wavy?

   Sarah's hairdo for the wedding was similar to the others, and after the
long day it would have been softening up a great deal.  It was too hard to
tell who I'd slept with just from this.

   Bright nails?

   To be fair that one wasn't much to go on either, as most of the bridal
party were done up all fancy.

   Breasts - not as small as Meghan's, larger.

   This depressed me more than anything, not least of all because it was
the one reason I had a feeling Meghan couldn't have been in the room...no
matter how much I wanted her to be considering my other options. 
Accidental anonymous sex might have killed any chance for our relationship
to take off in the right direction, but facing incest just wasn't something
I was prepared for.

   Pubic hair - short, trimmed, dark colour.

   I cringed again just reading this...the words brought back all of the
memories that had survived my alcoholic afternoon escapades.  I shut my
eyes tight against the words.  I know what Sarah's pussy looks like, what
it feels like...oh God, what it TASTES like...I tried to ignore it, but
nothing worked.

   I slept with my sister.

   I struggled furiously to bring my mind back from that dark place, from
the room where I took my own flesh and blood for a lover, fucking her like
some sort of sexual pervert.

   My eyes glanced over to the white rose sitting in the middle of my bed.
Sarah's white rose, no one else's.  Sitting down slowly, I cradled the
small silk object in my hands, contemplating where it came from and how it
brought me here.

   This came from my big sister's wedding gown.  Tears formed in my eyes
and I hung my head in shame as I realised the full force of that statement.
I hadn't just changed our relationship as siblings, I had forever stained
her perfect wedding day.

   I SLEPT with my SISTER!

   Filled with remorse, my life genuinely spiralling out of my control this
time, I put the list, the rose and the photos back into the box and slid it
back underneath my bed.  There was a knock at the door so I wiped my face
clean and straightened up, just as the door opened slowly.  It was Jaimi,
standing in the hallway in her pair of black skins shorts and a white
shirt, her hair loosely draped over one shoulder.

   "Hey there, champ, you alright this morning?  We missed you last night."


   "Yeah I know.  I'm sorry, Meghan needed to see me."

   "Is everything ok between you two?" she asked, combing her light brown
hair with her fingers and coming in to sit down beside me.

   "I think so, she just had a bad day.  Didn't get a job offer, stressed
out from the way she is treated at work...it's really bothering her." Jaimi
reached over and took my hand, giving it a squeeze.

   "I think it's amazing you two are finally together," she said quietly.
"Meghan is like a sister to me, and I found it really hard to see her
suffering so much in her last relationship." Jaimi looked at me and I
couldn't help but appreciate the warmth in her deep brown eyes.  She smiled
and linked her fingers with mine.  "Not suffering any more, though.  She's
genuinely happy with you, even if she has her bad moments."

   "I'm lucky to have her."

   "I think you're both lucky." Her hand felt very warm in mine.  Soft too,
I noticed.  She leaned over and rested her cheek on my shoulder, my head
tilting to rest on her hair.  "I'm here if you need to talk, ok?  Either of
you.  We're all family." I could smell her shampoo and deodorant, could
feel her move as she breathed in slowly beside me, her hand not letting go
of mine.  It was soothing, calming, distracting me from my torment and
reminding me that I had people who loved me in my life.

   Jaimi was being there for us, both myself and Meghan, and I appreciated
her more in that moment than I had for the past eighteen years she had been
in the family.

   "I'm lucky to have you, too," I said quietly to her.  Jaimi smiled,
nuzzling my shoulder gently.

   "Damn straight." I turned to Jaimi and she looked up at me with her
loving brown eyes.  "You'll always have me." Patting my leg, she stood up
and stretched, arching her back and showing off her figure more than a
little bit.  My hand felt cold without hers.

   "So, I'm going for a run...do you want to join me?" she asked me,
turning side on and glancing down at me.  "Exercise always helps me think
things through."

   Spend more time with Jaimi?  "Sure," I replied, "I'd like that,
actually." She gave me a happy smile.

   "Great!  Downstairs in ten, ok?" It was hard not to be affected by her
perkiness sometimes.  Searching my room for some running shorts and a
fairly clean t-shirt, I got changed and sprayed some deodorant of my own
before heading downstairs.

   Jaimi was waiting for me at the front door; her hair was tied back in a
ponytail and she was now wearing a purple sports tank top that clung to her
chest and showed off her belly.  I had to admit that combined with her skin
tight shorts the outfit made it quite hard not to look at her.  She didn't
seem to notice though, and smiled at me when I came down.

   "Ready to go?" I nodded and we headed out together, hitting the path
that led towards the lake near our house.

   As we ran together, side by side, I thought about everything that had
happened to me in the last few weeks.  Ever since the wedding my life
hadn't been normal, with the rare exceptions of the time I spent with
Meghan, and even then it was a state of half-relaxation mingled with fear.

   Yes I was still afraid, but I took comfort in the knowledge that it
would take a lot to push Jaimi away from me.  She was here for me when she
thought I needed it, and I appreciated her for that.  I cast my mind back
to how I had comforted her when she was distraught over a guy she had sex
with at the wedding, how I had been a big brother to her and how she was
now repaying that kindness, the way only family can.

   Ever since I had freaked out about sleeping with her - since that
terrifying dream about making her pregnant - I had seen Jaimi not just as a
sister but as an adult who loved me and needed me.  At first I assumed it
was only because I thought I had made Jaimi the mother of our child, but
after I figured out the truth and she had confessed to her own indiscretion
things didn't go back to normal - our relationship seemed to change.  We
got on differently, like the taboo of discussing sex had vanished, even as
I was trying to determine whether I had committed incest.  In an odd way,
it seemed like we were able to connect better.

   We jogged lightly down to the lake and started to make our way around
it. The lake wasn't huge, but Jaimi was fairly fit and she often worked up
a sweat making her way around it.  We passed several others out on the
popular path and the single guys who went by all checked her out, taking in
her modest but still prominent bust beneath her tank top and her well-built
abs, perhaps being a little more reserved than usual because I was running
beside her.

   It occurred to me that Jaimi didn't t always wear tops that revealed her
midriff, though she had worked hard to build up a lean shape and I figured
anyone would want to show it off after all that effort.  I caught myself
staring once or twice, especially with those skin tight shorts she wore,
barely reaching halfway down her thigh.  Her butt looked good in them.

   I don't know how I had time to process all this, nor how Jaimi missed me
staring at her, although perhaps her focus was a sign of her dedication to
training.  At any rate, she didn't notice and we jogged on for several
minutes at a steady pace.  I could tell she was holding back a little for
me - just more evidence that she really cared about my wellbeing.  I didn't
mind; getting out of the house was pleasant all on its own.  It was a nice
area on a nice day, and that helped deal with the contrasting dark thoughts
swirling around inside my head.

   I would have to make a trip back to Auntie Ellie's again; after I got
home from the run I'd need to get ready for work so my visit would have to
wait, but she was the only person apart from Sarah and myself who knew
about it all.  She was also the only person in the world who might actually
be able to help me in a situation like this.  I decided I would tell her
everything, how I was feeling about incest and ask her what I should do
about Sarah.  Auntie Ellie would know where to go next.

   I'd also have to think of something to say to Meghan.  With Sarah back
it was only a matter of time before they spoke and I didn't want anything
to ruin what I had with her, or to hurt her feelings.  She was a little
fragile right now, and even though she was normally a strong person I was
worried about her.  I decided I would try to see her tonight, if she was ok
with that.

   I glanced over at Jaimi.  She looked back and smiled at me, her hair
bobbing as we ran together.  She must have seen I was feeling a little
puffed so she slowed down to a fast walk and I was able to suck in some
air. Her chest heaved a little, her breasts rising and falling with her
breath, but she seemed to be managing much better than I was.

   "You really need to get out more, big brother," she said with a smile.

   " - I know - it's just - hard -" I puffed.  Jaimi's smile widened a
little and she checked her watch quickly.

   "Why don't we just stroll for a bit?  I don't have to be back for a
while yet." I nodded and we kept going, the path leading away from the lake
and briefly passing behind a grove of thick trees.  We walked in silence
for a few minutes, doing nothing more than enjoying the landscape and the
fresh air.

   "So, you and Meghan," Jaimi said quietly, glancing over at me.

   "I know," I said, shrugging my shoulders.  "Seems a little unreal from
time to time."

   "Tell me about it.  It's not quite like a fairytale ending, but it isn't
unexpected either.  It's...I dunno," she trailed off, looking straight
ahead.  "I guess it just takes some getting used to for all of us."

   "Is it such a big deal?" I asked quizzically.

   "Well I mean, she and Sarah go way back, we all do.  And I've seen some
of the girls you've dated," she said jokingly.  "Honestly Will, what were
you thinking!"

   "Hey, Bernie was a nice girl!"

   "Yeah ok, she was I will give you that, and I did like her, but Alexis?
Come on, look me in the eye and tell me she was a good idea." That
particular relationship had ended quite roughly.  I tilted my head in
agreement.

   "Ok you have me on that one."

   "At least she didn't take your v-card." I turned to her, outraged, but
she smiled and winked at me and I shut my mouth, thinking of a better
answer.

   "Shall we go there?  Really?  I remember several young gentlemen
callers, but none more so than Brad..." Now Jaimi started to go red, the
blush spreading from her cheeks across her face.

   "That was different."

   "I fail to see how." Jaimi shoved me and I playfully shoved her back,
both of us smiling.  The path wove back out from the trees to the lake
again and we came upon a bench near the water's edge.  We sat down
together, shoulder to shoulder, taking in the view.  I glanced over once or
twice, noticing how the sunlight was reflected in her eyes and off her wet
lips.  Her shoulder was pressing against mine and I marvelled once more at
how smooth every inch of her skin seemed to be.  It had to be the training.


   "On the topic, though," Jaimi started, her voice a little quieter.  "You
and Meghan, have you..."

   "No," I said, not harshly but firmly.  "She - well, she hasn't wanted to
rush into anything yet.  After all, we were family friends only a few weeks
ago." Jaimi looked at me, her head tilted slightly.

   "Interest?" I swallowed, then bobbed my head from side to side.

   "I assume so."

   "From her or you?"

   "I...Jaimi, I've always been interested.  She's beautiful.  But," I went
on, "it hasn't been the most important thing on my mind."

   "Could be on hers though."

   "Jaimi!"

   "What?  Girls have needs too...trust me on that one," she said, nudging
me and laughing.  "I know how it is.  But seriously, though, have you
talked to her about it?"

   "A little, yeah," I said, glad for the distraction from Jaimi's needs.
"Enough for us to agree not to rush anything yet." Jaimi nodded, smiling.

   "I'm glad.  They say communication is at the heart of a healthy sex
life."

   "We've been dating for hardly any time at all, I wouldn't exactly call
it a sex life just yet."

   "After all these years?" she teased.  "All that unrequited love?  All
that pent up energy?"

   "I think you might be overestimating how much pent up energy I had."

   "Oh...so plenty of, you know..." she made a fist and bobbed it up and
down for a second, her tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth.

   "Hey now, calm down for just a minute!"

   "It's ok, Will, I understand.  Everybody does it, you know.  All those
people with needs.  Like I said," she winked, "I know how it is." I stared
at my little sister.

   "Since when do I need to know these things?"

   "Context is everything when it comes to sex."

   "Oh of course.  Still, I wouldn't have said there was that much pent up
anything."

   "Why not?" I turned to look at her properly.  Jaimi, my overachieving,
athletic little sister, confronting me on things I never would have
expected.  "I mean, is there a reason you weren't so pent up over her?"

   "Well, I don't know exactly."

   "But, you did, you know..."

   "GOD, Yes, Jaimi, alright?  I'm only human, so...yes." She blushed ever
so slightly, but you'd hardly notice it if you weren't related to her. 
Family can see things others can't sometimes.

   "Sooooo," she went on, stretching her arms out in front of her, "you
didn't think about her when you...I mean, was it not ever Meghan?" I
sighed.

   "Maybe once or twice, like I said I'm only human.  I guess I just didn't
think about her that way because, I don't know, she didn't mean anything to
me like that.  She was smart, funny, determined, gorgeous..." Jaimi smiled
at my words, encouraging me to go on.

   "I always had a soft spot for her, but it was romantic, not
lust-driven." I thought about those younger years, remembering certain
parts and deciding if Jaimi didn't want to hear them she wouldn't have
asked.  "I guess I also had other things to think about other than her."

   "Oooh, like what?" She leaned forward, eyes widening.  "Or should I say,
who?"

   "Well, there were plenty of girls in the years above and below mine who
were stunning and memorable in their own ways."

   "Memorable, eh?"

   "One word for them, I suppose."

   "All those young eighteen year old classmates of yours, blossoming into
full figures..."

   "Some more full than others." Jaimi, with her slightly smaller breasts
compared to Lucy or Sarah, went a little red in the ears.

   "It's not always about size, you know."

   "Hey, easy, I didn't say that!" Jaimi sat back and crossed her arms, not
really angry but clearly a little irritated.  It occurred to me that she
might not have been one of those girls who filled out into her assets quite
like her friends did, and definitely not like the other girls in our
family.

   If I had to guess I'd say Jaimi might have worn a C cup bra, and while
she had a somewhat perky pair of buns her body shape was fairly slender and
flat, far less curvy than the average girl.  While I thought being lean and
muscular suited her, it occasionally bothered Jaimi that she might be seen
as a bit of a tomboy and paid less attention because of it.

   "So you liked the girls who filled out the most?"

   "Actually," I said, deciding to be honest, "I prefer smaller girls."
Jaimi's lip twitched.

   "Smaller in what way?"

   "I dunno, I guess I'm just not a massive fan of...massiveness." Some of
the tension in Jaimi's shoulders relaxed a little and I decided to push on.
"Like, some girls would definitely be attractive, but they never knew how
to dress.  Any girl with a big chest can get attention, but style counts
for so much more.  The girls I like?  Lighter on top, know how to take care
of themselves, and can look just as drop-dead sexy when they want to, even
if they aren't as endowed." Jaimi slowly uncrossed her arms, hugging her
midsection a little.

   "You reckon many guys think that way?"

   "Maybe not, but I do.  One hundred percent." Jaimi looked at me with
interest and I could sense she wasn't feeling quite as defensive anymore.
She was also unintentionally pushing her breasts together beneath her
sports top, or at least as much as the form-fitting fabric would allow.

   "You're not a, a big boobs man then?"

   "Oh, look on the right girl I don't mind, I mean a lot more goes into my
attraction to someone than a single feature." Jaimi was listening intently
now, her thumbs rubbing her biceps absentmindedly as she listened.  "If I
had to think about a girl's figure alone, though, I much prefer a smaller
chest.  That and a small bottom.  Cute and round, of course, but smaller is
my preference.  Or, maybe fit is a better word." Jaimi shifted in her seat.


   "Not skinny."

   No, definitely not 'skinny'.  Someone who keeps themselves in shape, not
anorexic." I looked out a the lake and tried to think about the ideal
figure as though it was the most important thing in a girl.

   "Generally smaller, modest chest, but still enough to enjoy in the right
outfit, slender but fit midsection, and smart about it, and a small, soft
bottom.  And legs, maybe even runner's legs, but not like marathon runners
or sprinters, just the legs of someone who works out and knows their
proportions...and when girls like that move, when they walk or run or do
anything, or wear anything, they have a look about them that's just so..."
I trailed off, staring out at the water.

   When I turned back to Jaimi she was also staring at the lake, her eyes
focused on some distant spot, her mind briefly elsewhere.  Her shoulders
had relaxed and as a result she was pushing her chest forward, her arms
resting on her tight worked ab muscles and gently pushing her breasts
together.  She had crossed one long smooth leg over the other and, in her
skins shorts that stopped well above mid-thigh I could trace the lines of
her muscles back to her ass, its gentle curve meeting her lower back
flawlessly.  Her hair hanging from her ponytail was shining brown in the
mid-morning light and brushed against the soft skin of her neck and bare
shoulders.

   Jaimi's cheeks were slightly red, like she had been focused on something
private, and it occurred to me with a jolt that I had just described her
exact body type.  Turning to face the water again it was my turn to blush a
little, remembering with a sudden clarity the vivid dream I had of her
perched atop me, my cock buried inside her as her naked body rocked back
and forth, her belly slowly swelling as if accelerating through nine months
of pregnancy.

   I had no idea what Jaimi actually looked like naked, but the dream
Jaimi's body looked and felt about right from what I could tell beneath her
sports tops and bras, and the occasional looser garment she might wear when
she relaxed.  In a rush I realised that Sarah, though taller and less
athletic, had a fairly similar body structure to her little sister, and I
had felt what that was like during my unfortunate foray into incest.

   I tried to banish these thoughts from my head and turned back to Jaimi,
only to find her staring at me, her brown eyes focused on mine.  I couldn't
think of anything to say to her, so for a few seconds we found ourselves
staring into each other's eyes following a conversation that until recently
would probably never have happened.

   "You think about girls like that?" she ventured into the silence.  I
gulped.

   "I used to."

   "But you and Meghan haven't done anything yet." I shook my head. 
"So..."

   "Yeah, well, I guess, I dunno, I can't remember the last time I did
it...but yeah, I suppose I would have thought about girls like that." I
knew the last time had actually been last night before I went to Meghan's -
my god, was it really only last night?  It feels like so long ago - when I
had masturbated while watching my cousin have sex with another girl.

   To be honest, I had very specifically been watching Lucy when I came,
seeing her use a dildo on both her own pussy and her asshole, but I wasn't
about to tell Jaimi that my cousin had unknowingly helped me blow my first
load since the wedding.

   "I guess Meghan sort of fits my type, really, her being a fairly slender
girl and all."

   "Yeah, she does." Jaimi nodded in agreement with my answer.  "Is there
anyone else?"

   "Anyone...?"

   "Anyone else like that, who you...think about, maybe, when you're doing
it."

   "Oh, well, I can't think specifically, but..." I thought of the first
girl from our high school that came to my head.  "Julie Page, there's one
person I could think of." Jaimi went a tiny bit red in the cheeks and
looked back out at the water.  Julie Page had been a year or two below me,
and because both she and Jaimi were athletically minded they had been in
the school running team and had known each other.

   I also realised with a sinking feeling that Julie Page bore quite a
resemblance to Jaimi, right down to the pink lips, long legs and brown
ponytail hairdo frequently worn by the girls on the track.  Jaimi might
have been a little shorter than her but they were remarkably similar in
appearance.  I just can't stop digging myself into a hole can I?

   As much as I wanted to say I had picked Julie because I was trying to
think of girls who matched the description I gave Jaimi, I was beginning to
notice the only girls who had stood out to me were similar to my sisters
and Meghan in body type.  I don't know how uncomfortable it was making
Jaimi, but after all the incest thoughts I was almost squirming in my seat.


   "I didn't know you liked Julie," she mumbled.

   "I never told anyone," I replied quietly.  "But I did.  I suppose in a
way I still do.  After all," I continued, looking out at the lake again,
"that's what I really like in a woman." Jaimi turned back to look at me
again but I kept my eyes on the shoreline, trying not to go red.

   I felt like I was in dangerous waters here, yet somehow the taboo of
telling my sister I was turned on by girls who looked like her wasn't
scaring me into silence.  I had no clue what her reaction should have been,
but she sat quietly, not asking me probing or accusatory questions, just
looking at me.

   A few moments later another walking pair came past our bench.  A man and
woman, clearly a couple, who either because of my mind's preoccupation or
as a genuine coincidence looked a lot like the two of us.  When they passed
heading back the way we came Jaimi gripped the edge of the bench and stood
up, flexing her fingers.

   "We should keep going," she said, "finish the walk." I stood up and
without missing a beat we broke back into a light jog, heading in the
opposite direction to the couple.

   We went the whole lake without talking again, but the air was charged
with emotional sexual energy, the kind that hung around after a topic like
masturbation.  We jogged all the way back home and didn't break down into a
walk again until we hit the driveway, at which point Jaimi turned to me.

   "Thankyou for the run," she said quietly, "and the talk.  I hope it
helped." I smiled and she smiled back, and we went into the house.

   "I have to leave for work soon-ish, mind if I have the first shower?" I
asked her.  Jaimi smiled wider.

   "Always beating me to it," she laughed.  "Go ahead.  But don't take too
long or I'll be in there to kick you out!" I know it was only a joke, but
as my mind took her words in and imagined the situation unfolding Jaimi
seemed to speed up her walking to her room, as though she had come up with
the same image and realised what she had said.  I doubted that was the
case, since I was the one with a reason to have incest on the mind, not
her.

   The shower was just warming up as I kicked my shoes off and pulled my
shirt over my head when there was a knock at the door.

   "Yeah, I'm good, what's up?" I called out.  The door opened and Jaimi
stepped into the room, shutting it quickly behind her.

   Jaimi was barefoot, her purple tank top gone revealing a small white
sports bra that still covered her breasts very modestly, almost looking
more like a very slender athletic top and less like the underwear it
actually was.  She tugged her hair tie out and let her long light brown
hair fall to her shoulders loosely, her eyes locked on mine.  Without a
word she stepped up to me quickly and wrapped her arms around me in a hug,
standing up slightly on her toes and pressing her body to mine, surprising
me with her unusually cuddly attitude.

   "Thankyou for sharing," she said into my shoulder, one hand gently
resting on the back of my neck.  "It really means a lot to me." My arms
wrapped around her in kind and I shamelessly felt my forearms brush the
warm skin of her bare back, my hands feeling the contours of her back
muscles and shoulder blades beneath her remaining clothes.  She moved in
response, her body relaxing completely into the cuddle, letting me hold her
up almost as she draped herself over me.

   "Anytime," I whispered back quietly.  I held her close, but not in a
tight hug, more of a gentle embrace, keeping her near me with a tender hold
rather than pinning her.  She didn't seem eager to move anyway, her belly
and thighs also pressing against mine along with her chest.

   "You know, I really love you, Will," she murmured, her cheek pressing
against my neck.  "Even with all your flaws.  No matter what I'll always
love you." She squeezed me a little tighter and planted a kiss on my cheek,
her breasts rubbing my bare chest.

   "That's what sisters are for, right?" I said quietly.  That seemed to
break the spell and she pulled away, turning and padding barefoot out of
the bathroom again, shutting the door behind her.

   I stripped out of my shorts and climbed into the hot shower with a
raging hard-on, fuelled by the contact with my little sister's body.  I was
so off balance by her half-undressed appearance in the bathroom with me
that I hadn't even noticed my cock growing straight away.  Although I hoped
it hadn't risen to press against Jaimi's thigh or crotch before she left,
some strange part of me found the idea of Jaimi feeling my erection between
our bodies exciting.

   This uncontrolled emotion was followed by the memory of last night's
feverish performance watching Lucy, and the sexually charged conversation
from the lake.  Jaimi's perky breasts in her white bra and those skin tight
black shorts showing off her neat little ass were running around inside my
head, along with the feeling of her athletic body pressed to my chest.

   I pressed both hands against the wall in the shower as I saw my little
sister in front of me, hugging me, her beautiful brown eyes widening with
amazement as my erection grew against her leg.  She could feel it pressing
up into her crotch insistently, and her mouth opened as a gasp escaped her
wet pink lips, her fingers gripping my hair gently as she rocked ever so
subtly against me, grinding her wet crotch on me.  I shook my head but was
unable to forget the image, nor the feeling of her body against mine.

   What is happening to me?

   --

   As I heard Jaimi get into the shower from my bedroom I sent a short
message to Auntie Ellie asking when I could talk to her, hoping it would be
sometime soon.  I trusted her to know it could be a very important
discussion and with any luck she would be planning what to tell me already.


   I spent a few minutes getting ready for work and went downstairs, having
made sure the box with the white rose was tucked safely under my bed; the
last thing I needed right now was for Mum or Jaimi to find it like Sarah
had.  It was almost lunchtime and I had skipped breakfast after leaving
Meghan's place so I definitely needed to eat something or I would pass out.


   As I bit into a third hastily made sandwich my phone buzzed in my
pocket. It was a message from Meghan, probably on her break at work.

   - Will, im really sorry im such a mess right now.  can i see u again
tonight?  its important

   I'd go over straight after work, I decided.  As rough as my world was
getting, Meghan needed me more, and I had every intention of being there
for her.  I did hate to admit it, but Mum had a point - Meghan would
appreciate seeing Sarah again now that she was back in town.  They had been
friends since kindergarten, and I was sure Sarah could cheer her up in ways
I could not.

   I was just afraid of what else Sarah might say.

   "Meghan?" said Jaimi from behind me.  I turned around to reply and
almost dropped my phone in surprise.  She had quickly finished her shower
and now wore a short grey t-shirt and nothing else but a pair of black boy
leg panties and white ankle socks.  The panties were the shortest thing I
had ever seen her in, much more revealing than the skin tight shorts she
had on earlier, and the fact that it was underwear made it feel more
naughty to see them.  Her legs looked great, I couldn't help but notice.

   "Er, yeah...she wants me to go over again tonight." Jaimi nodded, gently
dabbing her wet hair and completely oblivious to my amazement at her state
of undress, even as her nipples stood out against the shirt in the cool
midday air.  I marvelled at how perky her breasts were without a fancy bra
to push them up or restrain them.

   "I think you should go.  She needs you, Will." She smiled at me and
grabbed a piece of celery from the fridge, nibbling on the tip as she
walked out of the kitchen.  She paused at the doorway, not moving for a
moment before turning to face me and leaning casually against it, one hand
fingering the hem of her shirt that stopped just above the top of her
panties.

   "I need to do some stretches...do you want to come into my room with me
and talk?  I don't mind if you watch." With those words I actually wished I
had jerked off to Jaimi in the shower, but at the same time I knew even if
I had gone through with it, a single wank over my sister wouldn't have been
enough to keep me from getting hard over her offer.

   "I sorta need to get to work," I said, apologetically.  Part of me
really really wished I had the day off.  I knew exactly how flexible Jaimi
was, and she had no bra on under that shirt.

   "Of course, sorry I forgot." Jaimi nodded, remembering.  Then she
smiled. "Well the offer is always there, just for you big brother.  I
stretch a lot.  Any time, any day, anything you need Or if you just, you
know...need me..." she said, looking squarely at me and biting into the
celery.

   I inwardly groaned as I read far too much into Jaimi's words.  I hoped
that she wasn't genuinely tempting me, dabbling with the taboo of incest
herself, because if she kept this kind of thing up every day any offer she
gave me in the future would be extremely hard to resist, even if she was my
eighteen year old sister.  She turned to go again but paused one more time,
looking into my eyes with sincerity.

   "Will...please give our best to Meghan.  We're all here for her."

   --

   Fortunately Auntie Ellie replied before my day at work was over.  It was
brief, but I took whatever comfort I could from the message and what it
would mean for me in the future.

   - come over monday, anytime after 4, we will talk

   I had uni until 2pm Monday so the timing was good.  I went back to work
and started thinking about how I would explain my thoughts to Auntie Ellie.
I had to be concise, and clear about what I was feeling, so she could help
me work through it.

   Unfortunately I didn't know whether or not Lucy would be home.  The
memory of what happened last time I was there entered my mind again and I
wondered if I could even look her in the eye.  Images of her naked body
still flashed before my eyes from time to time, surprising me when I least
expected it.

   At the end of the day I finished up and got ready to head out towards
Meghan's place, pulling out my phone to send a quick message to Mum saying
I wouldn't be home for dinner.  Before I finished the text, though, I
changed my mind and wrote it out to Jaimi instead, hitting the send button
and climbing into my car.  Before I'd even put the car into reverse I got a
reply, checking it quickly before I left the car park.

   - ill pass it on.  love you bro.

   p.s.  remember, always here to chat ;)

   It was innocent enough, and yet I was reminded of her offer to let me
watch her stretch, remembering that at the time that she was wearing
nothing but a pair of boy leg panties, a loose fitting t-shirt, and no bra
whatsoever.

   Could - could Jaimi be hot for me?  No, there's no way.  A smart,
talented attractive girl like her could have any guy she wanted.  She
wouldn't need to turn to her own brother for sexual favours.  She was just
feeling closer to me because we had started sharing more than usual with
each other.

   At the same time, I thought miserably, Jaimi was a smart girl, very
smart...smart enough to know how the situation in the kitchen looked from
someone else's perspective.  And I was the only person to see her dressed
like that.

   God damn it, not Jaimi too.  As if I don't have enough on my mind.

   --

   When I got to Meghan's apartment she already had dinner cooking.  I
opened the door having been buzzed in and entered the kitchen to see her
working away at a small bowl of salad.  Her hair was messed up and it was
apparent she had been crying.

   "Meghan, my God are you ok?" I gasped, rushing over to her.

   "I-I'm fine," she mumbled, trying to scoop food up from her chopping
board.

   "It was work again, wasn't it?" I asked her, clearing away some of the
rubbish in the kitchen and tossing it in the bin.  Meghan shook her head.

   "No no, no Will I'm fine.  I'm fine I just need to get dinner." She
grabbed a tea towel and opened the microwave, lifting a hot bowl out and
carrying it to the bench.  Part of the towel wasn't covering her hand well
and as she set the bowl down her wrist touched the side, burning her.

   Meghan flinched and her hold on the bowl slipped, sending it crashing to
the floor and splattering everywhere.  She shrieked and jumped aside as
broken porcelain smashed all over her kitchen tiles.

   "Jesus!" I yelled, narrowly avoiding the hot contents.  Meghan slammed
against the fridge and burst into tears as I reached her, grabbing hold of
her arms.  She slid down the fridge door, collapsing and resting her head
in her hands as she cried.

   "Are you ok?  Did you get hit by any?" I knelt down beside Meghan and
checked her legs, trying to see if she had been cut by the bowl shards or
splattered by any hot food.  Meghan sobbed into her hands as I looked her
all over, finding nothing to indicate she had been hurt.

   "It's alright, baby, look at me...Meghan, look at me!" I yelled, taking
her head in my hands and turning her to me.  Meghan stared at me, tears
pouring down her cheeks behind her glasses, her beautiful hazel eyes red
from crying.  She looked afraid, devastated, and tired.  I knew she wasn't
alright, and didn't bother asking anymore.

   "I'm here for you," I said.  I could see the change instantly, and I
knew I had gotten through to her.  "I'm here, Meghan.  It's ok."

   The girl of my dreams closed her eyes and leant forward, sobbing as her
forehead resting on my chest while I cradled her in my arms.  It was
apparent to me that she was completely emotionally worn out, and with
little effort I was able to get her on her feet and marched her to the
bedroom, helping her climb in under the covers slowly and prop up against a
pillow.

   With Meghan settled, I went back to the kitchen to clean the mess and
try to salvage some of the dinner she had planned.  I opened another
microwave meal and tipped the contents into a new bowl, setting the
microwave while I removed the broken remains of the last attempt from the
floor, being careful not to miss any shards.  When the timer went off I
very carefully retrieved the bowl and grabbed a fork and a cold glass of
water, taking them all into the bedroom.

   Meghan ate slowly, her eyes on the meal while I sat on the side of her
bed.  When she was partway through I went back out and cleaned up the
dishes and utensils on the sink, then dried everything and grabbed a bit of
uneaten salad for myself.  By the time I had finished Meghan was done with
hers, so I took it from her and left it in the sink, refilling her water
glass and carrying it back in for her.

   As I opened the door I got a glimpse of Meghan's head disappearing as
she pulled her jumper up and off, leaving her standing next to her bed in a
short white and red t-shirt, her glasses sitting on the bedside table.  I
immediately saw her jeans and shoes had already come off, leaving her in a
pair of blue underwear and white socks.  Even as I averted my gaze out of
respect for her modesty she tossed the jumper aside as if she hadn't seen
me, leaning over and showing off her bottom to pull her socks off one by
one before climbing back under the covers and lying down, leaving the light
on.

   I set the glass down on her table and turned to leave when a small hand
shot out from under the covers, grabbing my shirt.  Meghan's head was
covered by the sheets and her face was buried in the pillow, but I got her
message.  I gently pried her hand away and quickly turned off all the
lights in the kitchen and lounge room, returning to the bedroom and getting
undressed, keeping my shirt and boxers on.

   I climbed in on the other side of the bed and Meghan instantly rolled
over, clinging to me like a baby animal.  I hugged her to me, pulling the
sheets up and stroking her hair gently as we lay together, her tears
silently soaking the front of my t-shirt.  I reached out and turned off the
light, not letting her go for even a second, trying my hardest to stay
awake until I was sure she had stopped crying and fallen asleep.

   --

   When I woke up it had to have been past midnight, although I had no idea
what time it actually was.  Meghan was still in my arms, but she wasn't
sleeping anymore; she was awake, and her hazel eyes were staring up at me
with a tenderness I had wanted to see in her for a long time.  Without
hesitation she leaned up and kissed me, and I kissed her back, the stress
of all these weeks past finally beginning to catch up with me.  We kissed
for ages, one after the other, rolling gently back and forth in bed as we
held each other close.

   I felt Meghan shift beside me and she rolled me onto my back, climbing
on top of me and lifting her shirt off, revealing a deep blue bra that
matched her panties.  It was the first time I had seen her this way, and I
saw a look in her eyes that I was unfamiliar with, but somehow made me feel
awkward.  I knew Meghan's upset state earlier this evening wasn't one that
would normally be followed by sex.  Despite this, she seemed intent on
lifting my shirt, tugging at it almost mechanically.

   "Meghan, no," I said quietly.  Her hands kept tugging, insistently, so I
placed mine on top of hers and looked up into her eyes, which were fixed on
my chest.

   "Meghan, look at me." My tone was firm, and she looked up.  When our
eyes locked her exterior cracked, and I knew she hadn't been feeling
amorous at all.  She smiled sadly, squeezing my shirt in her hands.

   "You don't want me?" she asked.

   "Don't be silly," I replied.  "Of course I want you.  I've wanted you
for a long time, Meghan.  More than you can ever truly understand.  But not
here, not now." I reached up and stroked her cheek gently with the back of
my hand.

   "When the time is right, when we both feel it, I want our first time to
be something truly special." Meghan wilted, fresh tears leaking from her
eyes as she rubbed her cheek into my hand.

   "I'm so sorry, Will.  I thought that, you wouldn't want..."

   "Want what?"

   "...I don't want to lose you." I stared up at her.

   "You think I wouldn't stay?  Over sex?  Over a bad day?" She nodded,
apologetically.

   "Meghan, you mean a lot more to me than just sex.  Do you understand? 
You are my life, my longest crush, my dream come true.  You are the most
beautiful girl I have ever had the privilege to meet, and there's not a
person in the world who can compare to you.  I came here tonight for you,
not because I had to, but because I wanted to." Meghan gave me a small,
happy smile.

   "I can see that you're worried; you think you might chase me away or
bring me down with you.  And I know tonight you wanted to give me something
I haven't had from you yet, and you thought that would keep me satisfied
and keep me around.  Well let me make this abundantly clear." I sat up in
bed, my arms sliding up her bare back and over her bra straps.  I gave her
some small, tender kisses across her chest, my lips gently brushing the top
of her boobs in their cups.

   "I'm yours, Meghan, I don't want anyone else - and I'm not going
anywhere." Tears ran down her cheeks as she pressed her hands to her mouth.
I smiled at her and she wrapped her arms around me, leaning down and
kissing me hard.  We lay back together, her bra resting against my chest as
she hugged me tight.

   I knew I could have had her that night, and in a small part of my mind
it was just what I needed to ease some tension of my own, but there was no
way I was giving up the most important night of my life - my first night
with Meghan - just for a crude release.  Especially not when she was
worried that she had to do it.

   "When the time is right, you and I will have the most romantic night of
our lives," I whispered to her.  "I wouldn't give that up for anything."
Meghan held me close and I had that feeling, the one you rarely - if ever -
get in life, that told me I had finally done it.

   I had found the one.

   --

   The next morning I woke up feeling tired, pent up, but ok.  I knew
Meghan had a lot going on in her head, and I had the sense to know that her
attempt to use sex to keep me close last night was born out of desperation.
I knew she probably didn't really think I was going to leave her - she was
just scared, and I didn't blame her for it.  I just promised her I would be
there no matter what, and that I would help her work through anything that
bothered her.  We were in this together.

   "I'm worried about you too, Will," she said while we lay in bed
together. "I know that could sound hypocritical, but you've had something
on your mind lately.  I know you think you act normally but I see it." She
tilted her head to one side, looking at me.  "I want to be here for you
too. You mean the world to me and I don't want to lose you."

   I kissed her passionately, promising that I would be there for a long
time coming.  She responded by pulling my shirt off and we spent the next
forty five minutes in the sheets together, rolling around but never going
much further than my hand slipping into the back of her panties, caressing
her smooth little asscheeks.  That alone was something to enjoy, and I
could tell that she wanted me to do more.

   When it eventually was time to get up I reluctantly got dressed and we
ate a quick, quiet breakfast together.  Meghan called in for a day off at
my insistence and I told her to either go out for some fresh air or try to
do whatever she found most peaceful.

   "Can you stay here then?" she asked, resting her head on my shoulder.

   "I'm sorry, sweetheart, I really wish I could." This weekend in
particular I had to put in a lot of hours at work, and I had already had
one late start yesterday after my run with Jaimi.  I felt bad though; I
knew Meghan loved little more than to chill on the couch, watching a movie
or reading books together.  She nodded and I had a thought.

   "What are you doing on Wednesday?" I asked.  When she shrugged her
shoulders I smiled.

   "You're going out to dinner with me to your favourite restaurant,
followed by a movie and me coming back here to stay with you all night
long." Meghan smiled happily and hugged me tight as I lifted her up off her
feet.

   "You're amazing, Will," she whispered.  I smiled.

   "So are you."

   Meghan walked me out, kissing me at the door and giving me one last hug.


   "I'll see you Wednesday?" she said.

   "Yeah, but call me if you need me again, alright?" Meghan nodded.

   "Don't worry...I think I'll be ok now." She smiled, squeezing my hand.
"I love you."

   "I love you too, Meghan." With one last wave she was gone.

   --

   Auntie Ellie's house didn't naturally look menacing, but I still felt a
hint of dread as I walked up the steps to the front door.  I had taken a
dark step down the rabbit hole here, watching my cousin have sex, but
finally I could talk to someone about my problems.  It was going to be ok,
I knew it.

   Unfortunately, Auntie Ellie's car wasn't in the driveway.  But Lucy's
was.

   "Hey Will, come on in," she said, answering the door with a smile. 
Lucy's luscious red hair was tied back in a ponytail and she wore a white
blouse and jeans, looking like she had just gotten home from university.  I
followed her inside and started to take off my jacket, but Lucy
interjected.

   "Here," she said, "allow me." She slipped the jacket off and hung it
near the door, smoothening out my shoulders softly.  It was different, and
that put me on edge.

   "Mum mentioned you would be coming," she said, heading down the hallway
ahead of me and looking over her shoulder.  "She said there was something
important you needed to talk to her about."

   "Oh, yeah, just some stuff she offered to help with, that's all."

   "Is everything ok?"

   "I think so, or it will be I hope." Lucy's bright blue eyes lingered on
me for a moment longer before she led me into the lounge room.

   "Well, Mum will be home soon, I'm just going to get changed...do you
want anything?"

   "No thankyou, Lucy."

   "Ok...wait here." I sat down on the couch to wait and off she went.  I
wondered how long it Auntie Ellie would be, and hoped she was close.  I had
managed so far in Lucy's presence but I was still worried.

   When Lucy came back she was wearing a big bulky jumper and a blue skirt,
and she had let her curly red hair down now.  As she sat down on the lounge
opposite me, I noticed the skirt was a little short and gave me a good view
of her legs, so I focused on her face.  Fortunately she smiled at me, so I
smiled back.

   "So, Will, you need Mum's help?"

   "Well, her advice I guess." Lucy nodded, thinking.

   "Mmmm, something you've talked to her about before?" Something wasn't
right.  I nodded.

   "Yeah, she offered to help."

   "When?"

   "When?  Oh, I came by the other day, er night.  Not last night, the
other other night." I was starting to flub my words.  I tried to calm
myself quietly.

   "Two nights ago, you mean."

   "Er, yeah." Lucy tilted her head slowly.

   "So," she said quietly.

   "So..."

   "I had a friend of yours over that night." Oh shit.

   "Oh, did you?" I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

   "Taylor."

   "Oh...yeah, Taylor.  How is she?"

   "Oh she's good Really good." Lucy stared at me and I tried not to squirm
in my seat.

   "That's...good, I guess."

   "Yeah, and she's getting better, or didn't you notice?"

   "I - I don't know what you mean."

   "I had her over for something very specific, that night." I didn't want
to reply, but Lucy didn't even wait for me.  "She was eating me out, and
like I said, she's getting very good." I went red in the face.

   "Lucy!  That, that's not appropriate!" Lucy's eyes narrowed.

   "Really?  Funny you should say that...because I saw someone watching it
all through my window." My stomach flipped over, my indignant response
fading quickly into fear.

   "You saw - someone watching you?"

   "When Taylor had me on my back.  It felt amazing, but I could still see
out the window.  How's that for inappropriate?" I didn't answer.  She
didn't need me to.

   "You didn't think you'd get away with it, did you?"

   "Lucy, I, God I'm so sorry, I didn't mean -"

   "Don't make excuses, Will.  I don't want to hear it." She was glaring at
me now, with a strange intensity I didn't recognise in her.

   "Ok, yes it was me, I was there and I was watching.  I can explain why I
was -"

   "I don't want your explanations either." I was feeling trapped, caught
out at the worst possible time.  Lucy sat with her legs crossed, arms
folded in front of her, staring at me with her piercing blue eyes.  I hung
my head in shame, staring at my feed miserably.

   "I'm sorry, Lucy.  It was incredibly wrong of me."

   "Yes it was, wasn't it."

   "I swear, I've never done anything like this before."

   "No, you're a good boy, aren't you?" I looked up, puzzled at her words,
to find her expression had changed.  She looked...hungry.

   "Lucy," I said warily.  "I didn't want this.  I swear."

   "Neither did I," she said.  "But you didn't give me a choice did you. 
And you know what?" I shook my head.

   "I can't remember being more turned on with a toy in my pussy than I was
knowing you were outside, with a first class view of it going in and out of
me, so here we are."

   Lucy unzipped her jumper and flung it open, revealing a lacy black
push-up bra lifting her big breasts together.  They were unblemished and
perfectly round, the same beautiful pink skin colour as the rest of her
body, with no lines visible at all.  My jaw dropped, not expecting her to
do this.  Her body really was phenomenal.

   "Like what you see?  I know you've had a good look at more of me, night
before last." I dragged my eyes up her body to meet hers again, and was
surprised by the fire I saw in them.

   "Lucy, I think you should cover up," I said, trying to inject some
confidence into my voice.  She smiled in return.

   "Why, Will?  Because I'm your cousin?  Because we're related?  That
didn't stop you though, did it?  And I liked being watched..." She stood up
slowly, sliding her jumper from her shoulders and walking over to me, her
orbs mesmerising me as she swayed her hips.  Lucy was incredibly beautiful,
and extremely sexy, and I was having a hard time not looking at her, if not
because of her state of dress then because of the way she was acting.

   "I like you watching me, Will," she said silkily.  She stopped in front
of me and pushed me backwards, sinking into the couch.  She spread her legs
and climbed on top of me, her knees on either side of my thighs, her hands
resting on my chest.  Lucy's breasts were inches from my face.  "I like how
it makes you...feel," she murmured, her groin pressing against my cock,
fully hard in my pants.  I was sweating now, unable to comprehend her
behaviour.

   "Have you always thought about me?" she asked quietly, her hands running
up my chest to my shoulders, fingers gently curling around the back of my
neck.

   "N-no, Lucy.  I mean..." she smiled again and I knew she had me; I
realised there was no right answer, that she would do whatever she wanted
to do, but I felt compelled to be honest with her.

   "I've always known you were a very sexual person, and you always had
lots of guys attracted to you..." Lucy's hands gently rubbed the back of my
neck.

   "Mmmm, lots of guys, but I'm not interested in any other guys," she
moaned, gently tossing her head back and letting her hair fall loosely down
her back, her chest thrusting out towards me.  "Or girls, for that matter.
Although," she giggled, "they are sooo much fun.  But do you know what you
have that they all don't?"

   "No, Lucy, I don't know..." she sat back up, staring directly into my
eyes.  I was intimidated by the passion I saw there.

   "Taboo." She leaned closer, grinding her groin against my pants. 
"Mystery.  Forbidden passion.  Pure lust so strong it overrides all reason,
until it doesn't even matter that we're related.  My body doesn't care who
you are to me." She bit her lip, fingers gently running through the hair on
the back of my head.

   "You're the one guy who should never see me naked...but I feel like
being bad." I gulped and tried to think of a way out of this, desperately
clinging to false hope.  Lucy had me in her trap, and with her willingly
sitting in my lap, half-undressed, I wasn't going anywhere.

   "Do you like my lingerie?" I nodded, my eyes drawn down to her bra.  It
was sleek and lacy, the kind that probably cost a fortune.  I always knew
she would have something like this in her drawers.

   "I bought it for a special occasion just like this.  I'd show you the
other half, but I'm not wearing it at the moment." I blushed red as Lucy
laughed, grinding down into me again.  Knowing there were no panties
beneath that skirt was blowing my mind.

   "I'm glad you're enjoying the view, but I want to see you
enjoy...something else." Lucy leaned in closer to me, her arms wrapping
further around me as she pressed her body against mine, her breasts flat on
my chest.  I could feel and smell her red hair on my cheek as her lips
gently kissed my neck.

   "Mmmm, I can tell how much you want this," Lucy moaned as her crotch
bumped against my erection.  I swallowed and struggled to form words
together.

   "I, w-we shouldn't, Lucy..."

   "No, it's not just sex that you want, is it?" she breathed, her lips
brushing up and down my neck, pausing to kiss my ear.  "It's more than just
sex.  You want it from me.  Your cousin.  You want to fill me like that
dildo, you want to fill your cousin everywhere...every hole...with this..."


   "Lucy, please, I -" my protest was cut off as I felt her hand slide into
my pants, taking hold of my cock and giving it a gentle squeeze.  I
couldn't so much as speak, in fact I could barely breathe I was so
mesmerised.  Lucy is holding my cock.  She sighed in my ear, squeezing me
again with her soft fingers.

   "Stop, Will, just stop fighting," she said, holding me firmly.  Her lips
traced down my neck and over my cheek, her nose gently bumping mine as our
foreheads touched.  Her skin was soft and warm.

   Lucy slowly, teasingly, meticulously pulled my cock out of my pants, and
as I looked into her blue eyes she leaned in and kissed me sweetly, her
ruby red lips parting as I reacted to her.  I felt her fingers in my hair
and her breasts pressing against me.  At the same time, she moaned into our
kiss as she pulled my cock towards her and I felt the head of my cock rub
against her wet, hot pussy, my eyes shutting as I savoured the feeling,
committing it to my memory forever.  I was beyond trying to reason with her
- or myself.

   Lucy pulled back, giving me a strange look, almost like the kiss was
enjoyable but still way too foreign for her.  She bit my lower lip gently
and planted one light kiss on my lips before sliding down my body, her
breasts pressing against me until she knelt in front of me, tugging my
pants down my legs.  I didn't resist.  I wanted this from Lucy, I wanted
this from Meghan, and - I admitted to myself - I wanted this from Jaimi as
well.  I wanted Meghan when she sat on top of me and tried to take my
clothes off.  I wanted Jaimi when she offered to let me watch her
"stretch".

   Lucy...I had wanted Lucy ever since I saw her fuck her own pussy with a
dildo in front of me.  With all three girls flashing through my head, so
many desires running unfulfilled, I was powerless to stop Lucy from
dropping my pants to the floor and taking my cock in her hands, squeezing
it and rubbing it.

   "Wow, your cock really is nice.  Mmmm, to think Taylor swallowed this.
So naughty." I could stop her here, put an end to this madness before she
went any further, but after all the tension built up with Jaimi and Meghan
I couldn't bring myself to say the words, it was simply feeling too good. A
dream girl like Lucy, kneeling before me with her hand wrapped around my
cock.  She began slowly stroking me, her fingers sliding up and down my
shaft as she stared intensely at it, her breath coming a little quicker.

   "This is perfect, Will, it's just perfect.  You know I thought about you
last night," she said, starting to stroke me faster.  "I used that big
dildo you saw me with.  It wasn't enough for me, though.  Not like the real
thing...it isn't warm, or smooth...it doesn't throb like yours does..." She
licked her lips as her hand moved up and down me, spreading her thighs and
sliding a hand up underneath her skirt.

   "I need to do this, and I want you to watch me again." Her hand moved
beneath her skirt and she hissed between her teeth, closing her eyes as her
other hand began properly working my cock, jerking me off in her living
room.  The last time I had cum was watching her outside her bedroom, and
now Lucy was getting me there herself.

   After all the pent up tension I had a feeling I wouldn't last long, and
as if on cue Lucy moaned loudly into the room, her arm moving back and
forth furiously as she fingered her own pussy.

   "I want you to cum, Will," Lucy whispered.  "I want it all." She jerked
me off faster, her hand rubbing up and down my cock as I watched her play
with herself.  If she kept this up I wasn't going to take more than a
minute or two.  Jus t the thought of my cousin giving me a handjob was
almost enough to make me blow my load.

   "Holy fuck I can't believe I'm doing this," she groaned.  It sounded
like it was as much of a turn on for Lucy as it was for me.  She leaned
forward and slid her tongue from the base of my cock all the way up to the
head and back down again, making me gasp with shock as her lips came into
contact with my shaft.  She licked it again, getting it wetter as her hand
jerked me off.  She slowed down and started kissing it up and down, pausing
at the top as she looked up at me.

   "Look at me, Will," she ordered.  I locked my eyes on Lucy's as her red
lips parted, her tongue sticking out and rubbing the underside of my cock
head before she lowered her lips over it fully, closing her mouth and
moaning, her eyes shut as she savoured the moment.  I was in a twisted,
bizarre heaven; my cock was in my cousin's mouth, and it felt warm and wet
and perfect.

   Lucy opened her eyes, withdrawing her hand from beneath her skirt and
letting go of my cock.  Then - her lips locked delicately around my head -
with practiced hands she reached back and unsnapped her bra, letting it
fall from her chest and releasing her gorgeous breasts, her eyes trained on
me the whole time.

   I openly stared at Lucy's breasts, her nipples hard as her hands grasped
my legs and, with almost no effort, she closed her eyes once more and her
lips slid all the way down my shaft until her nose pressed against my
belly.

   I gripped the lounge tightly, trying not to cum as my cousin
deepthroated my cock, her long red curly hair brushing my thighs as she
leant over me.  Lucy miraculously held it for several long seconds, then
let out an incredibly loud moan as she drew her head back, leaving my shaft
glistening wet.  She paused at the top and forcefully drove back down
again, taking my cock down her throat as her hand shot back up underneath
her skirt, rubbing furiously as she twisted her head from side to side, the
feeling driving me almost to the edge.  Her breasts hung perfectly from her
chest and her long red hair cascaded to one side as she moved her head
around, sucking me off hungrily.  I couldn't believe this was happening,
and I had never felt so alive.

   At last Lucy pulled her lips back up my shaft, keeping them wrapped
tightly around the head of my cock as her free hand stroked the lower half,
her tongue sliding over and all around me as she worked.  I could feel
myself about to blow and I was tempted to fire off into her mouth, but she
lifted her lips from me and stared up into my eyes again, gasping as her
own eyes watered slightly.

   "Oh shit Will, did you like that?  I knew you would taste good but I
didn't know it would be this much fun," she panted.  "I am so fucking horny
right now, ohhhhhh babe I...I'm gonna...oh god, oh god, oh GOD!!" Lucy shut
her eyes and her legs clamped around her hand as she bucked wildly, as if
riding a mad horse, her mouth dropping open and letting out a wail of
uncontrollable lust.

   It was long and loud and full of passion.  I had never heard someone cum
like that - and never would again - in my entire life, and knowing it was
my own cousin made it too much for me.  With Lucy's other hand squeezing
and stroking my wet cock like crazy I finally unloaded, my cum shooting all
over her face and in her wide open mouth, striking her forehead and cheeks
and lips in huge wads.

   Lucy felt it, still riding out her own orgasm and unable to speak or
stop shuddering, her eyes opening wide as I pumped my cum out, coating her
face while some of it landed directly in her mouth and on her tongue.  I
lifted my hips up off the couch as one last load came out, brushing her
ruby red lower lip and hitting her chest directly between her breasts.

   Lucy's hand came out from beneath her skirt, wet with her own juices, as
she released my spent cock and dropped her hands by her sides, gasping as
my cum slowly dripped down her face and onto her huge waiting tits.  I
watched her juices drip down her thighs from beneath her skirt as a drop of
my cum from her chin landed on her heaving breasts, running down over her
erect nipple.  She closed her mouth and swallowed what she had caught,
looking up at me with shivering shoulders and panting hard.

   "Oh, my, fucking, god," she choked.  "You...you blew all over me..."
There was no regret in her voice - she was still feeling her orgasm, her
body shaking, giving short sweet gasps of breath.  I had no words, I was
too dazed by what I had just done to her.  She was my cousin, my flesh and
blood, and I had completely soiled her face.

   "JESUS CHRIST!" I jumped, almost falling off the couch.  Neither of us
had heard the front door open, but Auntie Ellie stood in the hallway
staring at us, looking absolutely livid.  I scrambled back and hit the arm
of the lounge, catching myself before I went over the edge.

   Lucy, however, barely seemed to notice the intrusion.  With her eyes
glued to the same spot where my cock had been when she came, inches from
her face, she let out a long groan of sheer exhaustion and fell over
backwards, her hair spreading out behind her like a cushion and her boobs
wobbling as her body continued to shake ever so slightly.  We waited for
the most awkward fifteen seconds of my life as she finally relaxed, her
legs collapsing together with her skirt almost all the way up, revealing
her soaking wet pussy.

   "William," breathed Ellie.  "What have you done?"

   --

   I sat in the kitchen opposite Lucy, who was wearing a long bathrobe
around her and clutching a mug of acid-strong coffee.  Auntie Ellie sat at
the head of the small table, looking from one of us to the other.  I
couldn't bring myself to glance up, but from what I could see of Lucy she
had her head pointed straight down, her nose practically in her mug, her
shoulders hunched over and looking like she had just woken up after a
twelve hour sleep.  Her hair was damp, too - she had put her whole head in
the shower to wash my cum off her face.  Auntie Ellie cleared her throat.

   "I don't understand what I walked in on, but you are out of control,"
she said to the room.  "Will, Lucy, this is unacceptable.  I want an
explanation from the both of you, right now." She looked at Lucy first, but
her redheaded daughter refused to budge.  I could make out her blue eyes
between wet strands of strawberry hair, but they were focused on her mug.
Ellie then turned to me, and I did what I thought was the noble thing at
the time - I spoke first, completely honestly.

   "Sarah," I said.  "It all started with Sarah." Lucy didn't budge but I
saw recognition in Auntie Ellie's eyes.  She nodded, so I took a breath and
went on.

   "I was afraid I had done something terrible, because at first I thought
I had hurt Jaimi.  I had a dream, a nightmare..." I trailed off, placing my
hands on the table and getting back on point.  "I was wrong, but we talked.
Something changed between us.  Somehow we were now two adults, who loved
each other.  We could talk more and we bonded over everything." Lucy's head
twitched but otherwise she made no move - it may have even been a trick of
my eyes.

   "I came here looking for answers, not last night but the night before,
you know why," I said to Auntie Ellie.  "I didn't find them.  Or at least
not the final piece of the puzzle.  But I saw something...and suddenly I
doubted my own sanity.  I couldn't work out what had happened to me, why
knowing I was doing something wrong wasn't stopping me from doing it. 
Then, after our talk, I went home." If Lucy knew or suspected anything
about Auntie Ellie and her brother, Ben, she still wasn't reacting, so I
decided not to say too much.

   "Sarah was there.  She - she found the rose on my bed after I got back,"
I said, starting to tear up.  "She didn't say a word, and I don't know if
she has to anyone else yet, but...I went for a run with Jaimi and, I don't
know something felt different, and the things she said and did...I was
seeing signs everywhere." I faced Lucy.  "The same signs I saw in you
tonight, Lucy." At last, my cousin looked up, her eyes meeting mine, a
glimmer of understanding shining in them.

   "Whatever happened to me has affected me in weird ways, changing my
perception of everything, and I think it got to you too," I said quietly.
"When you...when you realised I was watching you, and you didn't care that
it was me.  When the thrill and taboo and forbidden nature of it was too
exciting to pass up, too much for you to resist.  That's why it happened
tonight." I hung my head in shame.

   "I wanted the forbidden fruit too.  I couldn't resist the signs I was
seeing, that I wanted to see.  It was too much, and I was weak." A tear ran
down my cheek slowly.  "I let you down."

   "No."

   A small, smooth hand slid over the top of mine, followed by another. 
They were warm from the mug of coffee they had been wrapped around.  Lucy
drew my hand across the table to her and lifted it to her lips, kissing it
with her eyes shut tight.  When she opened them she squeezed my hand
between hers, holding it firmly as tears leaked out of her sky blue eyes.

   "You weren't weak.  I seduced you.  I gave you my body.  And...I would
have given you all of it, if you had taken me in your arms." Lucy's tears
ran freely down her face, her lip quivering as she poured her heart out to
me.

   "I don't love you any more than I already did, Will.  I'm not begging to
be your partner, your wife, the bearer of your child," I blushed as she
spoke, and I could see she was blushing too; even now we both had sexual
feelings for each other.

   "But I wanted you.  I wanted you to feel my pussy, to kiss me, to see my
tits, and I wanted your cock.  I wanted to swallow it, to watch you cum, to
know what it was like." Lucy's lip trembled.

   "Lucy, I -"

   "I wanted you in me so badly I was willing to let you do anything you
desired," she burst out.  "I wouldn't have been able to stop you,
physically or mentally." She pressed her lips to my hand again.  "But you
didn't.  You didn't force me down, carry me off, have your way with me like
some sex offender.  You didn't push me into anything.  You didn't try to
fuck me.  You just..." she couldn't finish the sentence, slowly breaking
down into sobs as she planted her head on the table, my hand clutched close
to her cheek.

   "You showed her love." Auntie Ellie looked from me to Lucy and back as
we both stared up at her.

   "Children, listen to me.  You are my nephew and my daughter, and I love
you both so very much.  I always will.  But what I walked in on was a scene
of sexual intimacy that should never have happened.  I cannot condone what
the two of you did tonight, even in the spirit of what we just heard." She
paused and I felt genuine guilt flood me again.

   "However," she went on.  My hopes lifted.  "If what you want, what you
truly desire in this life, is to be together tonight, I know I cannot
change that.  It will happen whether I want it to or not.  Will, you know
why this is."

   "Lucy...my dear, sweet Lucy," Ellie turned to her daughter, pain written
across her face.  "I didn't know when or how to tell you, if I ever would.
I couldn't make up my mind.  But you deserve to know, and the 'when' should
have been before a night like this.  I should have made a decision earlier,
the right decision." She pondered for a moment.

   "Before that, though, I made another decision while I waited for you
both to clean up and join me at this table." Auntie Ellie smoothed out the
tablecloth, taking a breath.

   "There is a place, about twenty minutes away from this house, where I
have made a reservation under your name, Will, bought and paid for forty
eight hours.  It is a hotel, a quiet one with many rooms.  This
reservation, this room I have booked, is ongoing; unless the hotel is
completely filled and they need the space, they will never give away this
room.  It will always be there, paid for and waiting to be used.  I know
the owner." Ellie swallowed, took a moment, then continued, as Lucy and I
listened spellbound to her words.

   "I swore, a long time ago, on a night like this one, that I would never
deny my daughters the kind of love I have felt.  And I stand by that now."
Auntie Ellie reached out and took mine and Lucy's hands between hers,
holding our hands together.

   "I can give you twenty four hours," she said.  "Maybe a little bit more.
If anyone asks, I will protect your whereabouts for that time period.  I
can give you that, if this love is what you want." A tear formed in her eye
now, no doubt as memories flooded back to that night with her own sibling,
all those years ago.

   "Twenty four hours.  If you love each other, then go - go and be
together, with my blessing." I stared at Auntie Ellie, gobsmacked at what I
was hearing.  I turned to Lucy to find the same expression of shock
registering on her face.  She looked across the table at me as Auntie Ellie
released our hands, leaving hers and mine together, and I could see the
same thoughts were running through her head.

   Do we do this?  Can we actually go through with it?  Should we be
together tonight?  I saw Lucy's beautiful blue eyes shine and suddenly, at
the same time as it occurred to me, the corners of her mouth turned up in a
smile, tears forming fresh in her eyes.

   "Auntie Ellie," I said, not taking my eyes off of Lucy.  "I can't tell
you what this means to me.  Words...well, there isn't enough of them." I
felt Lucy squeeze my hands, saw her lip quiver as her smile grew.

   "You have given me - given us - one of the most precious gifts ever
imaginable.  Nothing I ever do will repay that." Auntie Ellie nodded in my
peripheral, and I could tell she knew I meant every word.

   "But," I said.  Lucy smiled, and took over.

   "Mum, I love Will.  I would even go as far as to say that, tonight, I am
in love with him." Lucy's thumb rubbed the back of my hand gently as she
stared into my eyes, her words mirroring my feelings about her.  My true
feelings.

   "But if I go with him tonight, if he leads me by the hand to this place,
to this room, this bed where we can be one...I will never come back." Lucy
and I looked at Auntie Ellie and it was her turn to be shocked.

   "What we are - is cousins.  I may always wish we had taken your offer,
but I will never do it." She turned and looked at me again, a slightly
sadder smile across her face.  "It's not just about the sex."

   "She's right," I joined in.  "If we slept together now I would be hard
pressed to let her go.  I don't think I'd let her ever wear clothes again!"
Lucy giggled.

   "And I know in my heart that I would still want to leave," I went on. 
"I know this isn't the right time or place, but I have been in love with
Meghan for as long as I can remember, in some small corner of my heart all
these years." Lucy grinned, happy she had read me correctly.  "Lucy is
wonderful, but she said it earlier: I don't want to marry her, or father
her child.  I love her, but this isn't the way." We broke hands, albeit
reluctantly on my behalf, and turned back to face Ellie, who's shocked
expression had dissolved into a teary smile of pride.

   "My God...how on earth did you two do that?" Lucy got up and rushed her,
hugging her mother tightly for all she was worth.  I watched them quietly
from the side, mother and daughter made up, my head spinning from the
emotion in the room, until both Auntie Ellie and Lucy reached out and
grabbed me, pulling me to them and kissing me on either cheek.

   "You are a wonderful boy," Ellie cried happily.  "I can't believe we
have come to this.  I am so proud of you, of both of you." I looked up into
her eyes, and she smiled at me.

   "If, somehow, you could be together...I would feel blessed to have you
as a son-in-law, and a husband for my Lucy." It was the most touching
moment I had felt in recent years, but I had something on my mind still.  I
pulled away slightly, but not letting go of either of them.

   "There's still one problem left to solve, though," I said quietly. 
Ellie's smile vanished and Lucy's turned to one of concern.

   "Sarah?" Lucy said.  I nodded.

   "Oh Will," she hugged me alone, her body no longer a scary, sexually
charged weapon, but a warm comfort, almost like coming home.  I hugged her
back.

   "Will, go into the lounge room and tell Lucy everything you told me two
nights ago," Ellie said, standing up and moving to make two more mugs of
coffee.  "The whole story, starting with Taylor and the wedding." Lucy,
clinging to me like a virgin wife to her first lover, picked up her mug and
led me into the lounge room.

   "When I come in I want you to give me everything else you have,
everything new that happened since you last left this house, every thought,
every feeling, and I promise we will find a way to make your life better."
I had never felt more relieved.

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