Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 





   Chapter 1 The First Day

   I don't remember when He stopped or how many times I came like that.  I
don't remember being covered up and the lights turned off.  When I did wake
up, it was mid-morning.  I shook my head to clear it.  I tried to stretch
but couldn't...and quickly remembered why.  I looked around and saw the
"x". No, I hadn't been dreaming.  I knew two things immediately.  My
stomach was empty and my bladder was full.  He was nowhere to be seen.

   "Sir...please...hello...are You here?  Please Sir...I have to go."

   "Go?" The word came from behind me.  "And just where do you think you
might go?  Do you imagine that this is finished?  W/we have just gotten
started."

   "Uh, well Sir..I don't mean that kind of go.  I mean...umm...I mean, my
bladder is full."

   "Why didn't you say so?  It has been a long time, hasn't it?'

   He let my limbs free and W/we went to a door.  Something was way too
easy here and I knew it.  He even opened the door for me...to the outside.
I started to step back but He pushed me forward so I stumbled onto the
little porch.  I was mortified to be outside like this...naked.  My eyes
darted everywhere expecting to see or hear people about.  There were none.
He clipped my wrists together and snapped on the leash.  He pulled.  I
resisted.  Mistake.

   He drew His hand back and slapped my ass hard enough to force me
clumsily down the few steps in front of me.  He didn't say a word but puled
hard on the leash and led me to a small clearing.  In the middle of it was
an outhouse...without the house.

   "Go."

   I had no choice.  I couldn't wait.  He had removed the piece of board
that covered it and I sat...and went.  It was a great relief but I still
kept looking around, blushing crimson, so afraid someone would see.  I
finished and He gave me some tissue He had in His pocket.  I got up and He
replaced the board.

   He jerked the leash as He turned and sat down on it.  I tripped forward
and He caught me and deftly laid me across His lap.  The lecture and the
spanking began.

   "When I tell you to do something"...whap..."you do it.  You do
not"...whap..."resist.  You do not"...whap..."hesitate.  You do
not"...whap..."think.  You"...whap..."obey.  You are never"...whap..."to
question.  You are here to learn"...whap..."trust.  You are
here"...whap..."to learn blind faith.  You are here"...whap..."to accept
the direction"...whap..."of your Domme"...whap..."your Mistress who cares
greatly"...whap..."for you and who takes such excellent care"...whap..."of
you and to do the same"...whap..."when you are with
anyone"...whap..."of"...whap..."Her"...whap..."choosing.  This
is"...whap..."what you are here"...whap..."to learn." He finished with a
long series of slaps.  "Now, do you have any questions?'

   "No Sir," I whimpered.

   "Good.  It's nearly time to eat.  But first, I think you need to bathe.
I have a shower here just for you."

   His emphasis on the words `just for you' caught my attention but I was
hurting so much I didn't dwell on it.  He stood me up and pulled me back
toward the cabin.  W/we walked to the side of it and He stopped.  I
realized this would be done outdoors also.  I cringed but didn't complain.
He freed my hands only to bring them in front of me and click them back
together.  He fastened the leash to something above my head.  He gave me a
bar of soap.

   "You have five minutes.  I'll turn the water on from inside.  And, just
so you won't even think of trying to get away - not that you could or would
I'm sure - I'll be watching you through the window behind you."

   I held the soap in both hands as I waited.  I tried not to look around.
I could only hope there was no one out there who could see me.  I wanted to
rub my ass - soothe the burning there - but couldn't reach.  I was thinking
about the things He said when the water began pouring over me.  It was icy
cold at first.  But, it soon warmed to a comfortable temperature and I
stood and enjoyed it as it rolled over me.  A tap on the window behind me
got my attention quickly.  I remembered (a) that He was there and (b) that
I only had a few minutes.  I washed my face with one hand and held the soap
with the other.  At least my hair wasn't getting wet.  The spray was
directed from my shoulders down.  I soaped the rest of my body as well as I
could and then rinsed.  The water was turned off immediately.

   I waited for Him to come back out.  Although it wasn't cold, I began to
shiver a little...there was a breeze.  I heard a door close and He
returned. With a big towel, He began to dry me off.  I winced as the rough
towel went across my ass but didn't move away from it.  He took the leash
and led me back in.

   W/we went into the little kitchen.  I was starving by now but knew
better than to let it show.  There was a small table with one place set and
one chair.  There was also a mat on the floor with two bowls on it. 
Another lesson I assumed -humiliation, perhaps, or dependency.  I waited
for His instructions.

   "Kneel here." He pointed to the mat and I did as I was told.  He again
moved my hands behind me and hooked them there.

   He brought His plate and glass to the table.  Then, He picked up the two
bowls in front of me and filled them.  There were eggs and sausage in one
and juice in the other.  My stomach was growling.  He placed them in front
of me and took a seat at the table.  I didn't move.  The lesson of waiting
for permission for anything had been learned.

   I waited.  He began eating and the temptation to eat was growing.  The
smell was making me even hungrier.  He looked over at me and, between
mouthfuls, said how tasty it was.  I still didn't move.  He looked at me
again.

   "Go ahead, pet, have your breakfast.  You have three minutes.  Enjoy."

   I lowered my head and took a bite.  My hair was falling into the bowl
but I didn't care.  It wasn't easy to eat this way but I figured it out.  I
ate quickly...trying not to get it all over my face.  I lapped up some of
the juice and went back to the other bowl.  For a moment, I gave thought to
what I must look like.  I thought it should probably make some kind of
difference but it didn't.  There was my hunger, His instructions, and
nothing else.

   "Times up.  Well, you did just fine.  That should hold you for a long
time.  It's good that you ate.  You're going to be needing your strength.

   "Thank You, Sir, for feeding me."

   "You're welcome.  But, for future reference, if you want to say
something to me, begin with `please Sir'.  If I ask you a question, answer
it.  Otherwise, remember what I've said.  And, since I didn't give you that
rule until now, there will be no punishment.  Understand?"

   "Yes Sir."

   "Now, the next hour will not be quite so hard on you.  I want you to
spend it meditating.  I want you to mull over what you've learned so far. I
want you to think about how it figures into the relationship with your
Mistress.  Stand."

   I did.  He took the leash again and we returned to the room with the
"x". He led me to a corner and turned my back to it.  He guided one of my
feet to the wall and clicked the restraint to a hook there.  My legs were
spread wide as He fixed the remaining foot on the other side.  There were
rings on either side at shoulder level and He attached a wrist to each one,
pulling my arms taut.  He reached behind me and I felt something wide push
into the small of my back.  He put His hand at my waist and forced my torso
forward, holding it in that position with what felt like a shelf of some
sort.  He crossed the room and came back with the head harness.  He put it
on me and clipped it to a ring dangling above me.  I was stretched in every
direction and held fast in this position.  He stuffed a gag in my mouth and
put a broad strip of tape over it.  I thought it was going to be difficult
to think about anything but my discomfort.

   "Comfy pet?"

   "Yes Sir" came out muffled and distorted.

   "Good.  There's just one more thing." Again, He went to the other side
of the room.  I couldn't see what He came back with this time.  The head
harness was blocking my view.  "Here you go." His hands were working in my
cunt.  I felt the chill as lube was applied.  I felt the tip of a rather
large dildo as it began to slide into me.  I felt it fill me and a wave of
unexpected pleasure made me shiver.  He moved it in as far as it would go.
I heard the scrape of wood on the floor.  It had to be on a pole of some
kind.  I felt Him adjust it so that the dildo was deep in me and the pole
in a position so that it and I could not move.  I realized I was impaled on
it and He was going to leave it there.

   "Now that's a picture.  Wish I had a camera.  You will be like this for
one hour.  You will think about all I have told you.  You will learn from
this, too.  You will learn patience.  You will learn endurance.  You will
learn to be quiet and wait on the pleasure of your Dominant.  You will
learn to be glad to wait.  You will learn that this is reward in itself. 
You will, if you follow these instructions, be rewarded.  You will, if you
do not, be punished.  You will test what you learned regarding control of
your body."

   With that, the dildo began to hum.  Oh no, I thought.  This is too much.
I can't do this...not for an hour.  My cunt was already coming to life.  An
hour...I'd never make it.  But, I had to.  I had something to prove...to
Him....to myself.

   "Your time begins now.

   The blindfold He put on me blocked out what little vision I had.  The
ear plugs cut off all sound.  This was much harder now.  In the dark and
quiet, every sensation of my body was magnified.  The strain put on it by
the bondage was already uncomfortable.  The pulsing thing in my cunt was
already threatening my self-control.  I tested the restraints.  If I tried
to ease the discomfort of one area, another suffered.  I tried to stand on
tiptoe so I could relieve the fullness in my cunt.  It was a wasted effort.
I was held fast from every direction.

   The only sound I heard was my pulse rushing past my ear.  It had
quickened.  It was keeping pace with the throbbing between my legs.

   I thought for a moment of just giving in to it - cumming for an hour.  I
thought of how I'd be punished for it.  I knew I didn't want to go through
that again.  So the struggle between my body and myself began.  I knew I
had to find some way.  I tried to just relax.  When I did, I only managed
to settle farther down on the dildo.  It occurred to me that I had only one
option.  My mind was my only refuge now.

   He wanted me to think, to "meditate." All right.  I began to pull my
thoughts away from what my body was feeling.  I groped for something to
focus on.  I thought of Her...Mistress.  I thought of Her and remembered
She was the reason I was in this position.  Or was She?  She had always
been patient with me, generous and kind.  Had I really been behaving so
badly?  She seemed to think so.

   Wave after wave of pleasure was rolling through me.  I wondered how long
I could withstand this.  How long had I been here?  How much longer?

   Oh Mistress, I thought, look what You've done to me.  But other thoughts
were nipping at the corners of my mind.  I always did whatever She
asked...almost.  I always addressed Her properly...almost.  I thought of a
lot of `almosts' and began to realize I wasn't quite the good little sub I
thought myself to be.  I had begun to take many things for granted.

   My body was beginning to hurt.  The strain of my position was settling
into the muscles.  The board in my back seemed to be pushing me farther
forward.  What was little aches was becoming unrelenting pain.  And if it
hadn't been for the gag, I would be screaming at Him to get it out of me.

   But, this was the point wasn't it?  I was to learn patience.  I had no
choice but to be patient.  I was to learn endurance.  This was indeed hard
to endure.  I was to learn to wait on the pleasure of my Dominant.  I
waited...again with no choice.  Could I endure and wait if I were not so
restrained?  I couldn't have yesterday.

   Mistress, I thought, I'm sorry.  I thought now that I knew why She'd
sent me here.  I'd begun to take Her for granted.  With each tortured
minute that passed, my appreciation of Her grew.  She had never been this
harsh and unrelenting.  She could be stern, o f course but Her heart was
gentle.

   How long can an hour last?  I had lost all concept of time.  I had lost
the sensation of pleasure.  It had turned on me.  I had not cum and the
vibration had become agonizing.  It felt huge in me now.  My body hurt more
with each passing second.  I started to cry.  Tears fell down my face.  I
needed Mistress's gentle touch and sweet forgiveness.  I needed this pain
to stop.  I needed to get out of this dark and still void.  How could one
hour be so long?

   I was sobbing when His hand touched me.  He removed the earplugs.

   "Quiet pet.  You're all right." He took the gag from my mouth.  I took
in a great breath, choking on it.

   "Relax now.  Relax." He loosened both feet and raised my whole body up
to take that thing out of me.  He set me back down on trembling legs.

   "Did you cum?"

   "No S-Sir...I d-didn't" I sobbed.  He released my head and removed the
harness.  He held my chin in His hand and stared into my eyes.

   "I believe you." He loosened my arms and stepped me away from the board
that caused me such pain.  I stumbled.  He held me up and walked me to the
cot.

   "Sit."

   I did and He offered me a drink.  I swallowed what I could.  I wanted to
lie down...rest.  I wanted this to be over.  I'd learned.  I didn't say a
word though.  If I had, it would show that I needed more lessons.  I didn't
want any more.

   "So...you did some thinking?" He laid me down on my stomach and began to
massage my back.

   "Yes Sir, I did."

   "And just what did you think about?"

   "Mistress," I said.  I knew He wanted honest answers.  I gave them.

   "What about your Mistress?"

   I went on to explain my thoughts.  The pain ebbed as His hands kneaded
my muscles.  It was easy now to confess.  And, surprisingly, I wanted to. I
wanted Him to know how much She meant to me and how much I wanted to say
these things to Her and have Her forgiveness.  I finished by saying that I
would willingly now endure whatever else might happen.  I wanted to prove
myself worthy of Her.

   "Good girl.  Now...sleep." He clipped my wrist restraints back together
and secured them to the side of the cot.  He laid a soft blanket over me
and put a pillow under my head.  I barely felt it when He hooked my ankle
restraints to the cot.  I was exhausted mentally as well as physically.  I
drifted quickly to sleep...longing for Mistress.

   My first thoughts when I woke were of the aches and stiffness in my body
and the smell of food.  The light in the room was dimmer.  It was late in
the afternoon.  I was losing all track of time and I was starving again,
but I would wait quietly.  The memory of my `meditation' thoughts were
strong.  I renewed within myself the resolve to do what was expected of
me....and without an attitude.  I heard His footsteps.

   "Finally awake, I see."

   "Yes Sir."

   He freed my restraints from the cot and hooked the leash back on the
collar.  A sharp jerk had me on my feet and following His quick steps. 
W/we were going outside.  He led me to the `outhouse' and that business was
taken care of as before.  I still glanced around nervously but made no
protest.  When I stood, He again nearly ran me back into the house and into
the kitchen.

   The single place was set at the table and the bowls still at my place on
the floor.  W/we ate in silence.  I would not question Him or offer any
resistance to what I was expected to do.  I realized I was truly learning
and, as I did, it all became much easier.

   Without a word, He transferred the dishes to the sink.  He picked up my
leash but did not move.  I waited

   "Until I tell you differently, you will stay on your hands and knees."
He forced my face to look up at Him.  "Do I make myself clear."

   "Yes Sir." I looked at Him, not defiantly, but to let Him know that I
did understand and accept His command.  He let go of my chin and W/we went
in a new direction in the house.

   "Run a bath for Me.  The water is to be very warm but not hot.  Fill the
tub to here." He indicated the depth." I found the plug and turned on the
faucets.  As I did, He removed His clothes.  I watched the water rise and
checked it frequently to be sure it didn't get uncomfortably hot.  When it
was full, I turned off the water and settled Himself into the warmth.  He
hooked my leash to a towel bar so I faced Him.  I stayed on my hands and
knees.

   "Wash Me." I looked around for a cloth.  "With your hands and the bar of
soap."

   "Yes Sir." I began with His shoulders and arms.  I bathed His back,
legs, and feet.  I wasn't sure about the rest and hesitated slightly.  He
noticed.

   "You don't want to wash my cock?" It was an accusation as much as a
question.

   "I have no objection at all Sir.  I just wasn't sure if I was allowed to
touch it."

   "Oh, you're allowed.  You'll come to know it quite well."

   I reached under the water and began to clean it.  I wasn't surprised to
find that it was already hard.  I was tempted to pleasure Him but didn't
know whether I should do that either.  So, I washed it and His balls and
fought down the excitement I felt at holding a stiff cock in my hands.  He
spread His knees apart.  I reached farther back and cleaned His ass.

   "Rinse me." I cupped my hand and scooped water up over His skin.  I
watched as the rivulets of soapy water ran down His body.  It was the first
time I had seen Him totally naked.  His nearness was stimulating.  His
obvious arousal fed mine.  I wondered if that was His plan.

   I stepped back as He rose from the water.  He tossed me a towel and I
dried Him as well as I could.  I didn't dare get up from my knees.  I
removed the plug when He told me to empty the tub and rinsed it out with
the rag He tossed me.

   He put on the robe that was hanging on the door but made no move to
leave the room.  The closeness of the small space only emphasized His
presence.  He picked up His razor and shaved His face.  He brushed His
teeth.  He combed His hair.

   I didn't watch Him.  I kept my eyes on the floor.  I was fighting my own
body.  I could not stop the growing desire I felt.  I didn't want Him to
see it in my face or any action.  He had not touched me but my cunt had
reacted to His body, His scent, His voice.

   "Pop quiz" He said.  He sat on the closed toilet and positioned me on
His lap so that I faced Him.  He unhooked the leash so I could move but
clipped my wrist restraints together behind me.  My thighs spread far apart
as I straddled His.  Then He spread His legs apart so that my cunt was
gaping and easy to reach.  He put a finger in me.

   "Ah...something has you turned on.  I wonder what could have caused
that." He removed the finger that was now wet and ground it into my clit. I
moaned low in my throat at the jolt of pleasure.

   My previous lessons flashed through my mind.  I remembered the
punishment.  I remembered how much I wanted to learn the things He was
teaching me so that I could please Mistress.  But He was determined.  His
fingers worked my clit without mercy.  I was writhing with the pleasure of
it while, at the same time, doing what little I could to resist what my
body wanted....demanded.

   He drove two fingers into my cunt.  He moved them in and out of me with
a strong, steady rhythm while His thumb pounded away at my clit.  I was
fighting a losing battle and I knew it.  It didn't matter what my mind
thought.  If He kept this up at this pace I was lost.

   I dared to raise my eyes to His.  I hadn't been given permission to
speak so I begged with my eyes.  His looked back at me with no mercy in
them but His hand stopped with His fingers still inside me.

   "Do you want to cum, pet?'

   "Oh yes Sir, very much." He moved the fingers again.

   "And just how much is `very much' I wonder.  What would you be willing
to do for it?"

   I hated that question every time it was asked from me and it makes no
difference who asks it.  The only answer is `anything' and it is never
enough of an answer.  I'm always in a position where I can do nothing.

   "Whatever pleases You, Sir....anything."

   "We'll see just how far you are willing to go then."

   He slid me off His lap and back on my hands and knees.  The leash was
put back on my collar and He led me out.  W/we went back to the room with
the "x".  There was something new waiting.

   There was a mat on the floor about two feet by four feet.  In the center
He had fixed a horse of sorts.  Two pieces of wood were attached to the
sides of the mat and another was bolted to the tops of them.  There were
restraints at various places on it.  He gave me enough time to give it a
good look before He jerked the leash and walked to it.

   He stood me up on the mat only to bend me over so that my neck rested on
the cross-beam.  He place my wrists in the straps on the sides of it.  He
moved out of my sight but I heard movements behind me.  He spread my legs
apart and fastened them to the straps on each side of the mat.  There was
more movement.  He was putting a belt of some sort around my waist and it
had a length of leather that reached between my legs and went back up to
the belt.  He buckled this securely.  He was working something in between
my body and this piece of leather.  I felt cold metal on my clit.  I could
only wonder where this was going.

   He stood in front of me again and His pants were off.  His erect cock
was an inch from my face.  When He put it to my lips, I opened my mouth.

   "Keep your eyes open." I did and saw as He placed some sort of remote
control where I could see it.  With His cock in my mouth He pressed a
button.  The sudden stimulation nearly caused me to close my teeth on Him.
He turned it off.  He brought His other hand into my line of sight.  It
held a long piece of cane.

   "I am your gag.  You will not spit me out.  You will suck me until I
cum. Only then will you be allowed your own release.  You will not have to
ask.  You will know when you swallow my cum that permission is granted. 
You said you would do `anything' for this permission.  You will take what I
give you and be grateful for it.  You will focus on me and my pleasure and
will not stop for any reason.  Is this understood?"

   I was going to pay a high price for my pleasure this time and I now knew
that.  I had given Him full control by saying that I would do anything.  I
knew that too.  Did I really want this badly enough to endure what was
about to be done.  It went beyond that now.  This lesson was not about me
so much I thought, as about being willing to please.

   My `yes Sir' was mumbled around the firm flesh in my mouth and began to
move my tongue over it.  I had a new thought.  The harder I worked to make
Him cum, the quicker this would be over.  Another thought crossed my mind
though.  I wondered if He had, somewhere along the line, learned to control
His own release for a long period of time.

   He moved the control so I could see as He turned it on again.  At least
I had a little warning and was able to continue what I was doing to Him. 
But the vibrations on my clit were beginning to distract me.  My hips
undulated with the pleasure it brought.

   The cane whistled through the air just before it bit into my skin.  I
had forgotten about it for a moment to long and had allowed myself to fall
into the rhythm of the pleasure and the pulsing of His cock.  The pain was
intense and calmed my desire.  The pulsing in His cock stopped.  This was
how He was going to keep Himself, and me, in check.

   His finger moved on the remote again and the vibration increased.  I
responded as He knew I would.  I focused on His cock.  I sucked it and took
it deep in my throat.  I worked my tongue and lips along its length...my
head bobbing back and forth like a chicken pecking at food.  I wanted very
much now to make Him cum.  I knew He was close.

   The cane landed again on my other cheek.  The pain was as strong as the
first one.  I shoved my face into His pubic hair, pressing the tip of His
cock against my throat.  Another whistle of air and the cane fell again. 
He was getting into a rhythm with it.

   The vibrator was cranked up even higher.  The pain worsened.  His cock
was pulsing.  I could taste my tears mingle with His juices.  I had to
fight my own body on top of everything else.  The pleasure and pain were
feeding each other until my body was rigid with the effort of control.

   The pulsing of His cock was strong now.  He was going to cum.  He turned
up the vibrator one last time as He did.  As each spurt filled my mouth,
the cane fell...harder and harder.  I heard His moans of pleasure as He
thrust Himself deep into my mouth.

   I let go of what little control I had.  My hips fucked the empty air. 
My back arched as He slipped out of my mouth and the first spasm seized me.
The motion of the cane was continuous now and my entire body froze as
another one took me over the edge.  He went behind me and loosened the
strap covering my cunt.  He used His hands now.  He finger-fucked me until
I screamed with the pleasure.  He slid one finger up my ass and mauled my
clit with His other hand.  It was pleasure...nothing but pleasure.  I
writhed in my bonds as orgasm after orgasm took away all conscious thought.


   I was only vaguely aware as He released me and half-carried me back to
the cot.  The restraints were put back into place on it and I slept.