Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 





   Safe-word

   The meeting had been in the works for quite a while.  I'd had one
previous session with this Dom months before.  It had left an impression on
me.  I experienced a number of things with Him for the first time.  They
occasionally corresponded and She would mention it.  She had also given me
time to consider whether I'd like another visit from Him in the future.  I
told Her I would.

   She began to speak of the possibility a little more often.  They
exchanged some emails and a date was set.  I was not privy to this,
however, until just a couple days before.

   Mistress told me He was stopping by with His sub the next day.  I knew
it wouldn't involve me because I would be at work.  Then - a little laugh
in Her voice - She said it would be my turn the day after.

   "Yes Ma'am, I understand."

   That evening, She had me get Her box of toys out so they would be ready
for Her company the next day.  And, since they were readily available,
decided to use some of them...on me.  I was more than happy for Her
attentions and was wonderfully rewarded.

   Having been so well satisfied, I knew it would not be difficult to wait
the short day and a half.  It wasn't, of course, to be quite that easy.

   The next morning, I woke to Her voice...and touch.  W/we had coffee and
the day began.  I puttered around and tried not to think about the next
day. Mistress was about to make sure that I would think about it hard and
often.

   She called me to Her, reached Her hand between my legs, and cupped my
sex with Her hand.  My arousal was immediate and, in light of the
possibilities of the next day, strong.  Her fingers found a nipple.  She
stroked and fondled it as She massaged my clit.  It was a very short time
before I wanted - needed- to cum.  I realized Her intent the second Her
hands stopped.

   "You're not wanting to cum, are you pet?"

   "Yes Ma'am, very much."

   "Oh, no" She said, "not before tomorrow." She chuckled as She heard me
groan my disappointment.  I gave Her one of my best plaintive looks but Her
mind was set.  She simply smiled ever so sweetly and shook Her head no.  I
let out a deep sigh.  I knew that, not only would She not change Her mind
but, She'd repeat this scene.  She would keep me wanting,
aroused....frustrated.

   The day moved along much as expected.  I went to work and time was
passing...slowly.  I couldn't help but think about what was happening at
home.  That only made my circumstance worse.  It served to fuel thoughts
about the next day.  It was a vicious cycle.  I concentrated on working as
hard as I could.

   The phone rang mid-afternoon.  It was Mistress.  She began talking
casually but I was hearing background noises.  The sounds were of His
sub...her pain.  "Do you hear this?" I assured Her that I did.  My ears
heard it, my body heard it.  I concentrated hard on what Mistress was
saying.  It was difficult because my body was reacting so strongly to what
I knew was going on.  Mistress's voice and the noises I heard combined in a
wave of desire that was very tough to deal with.  This was, I do believe,
the intended effect.  It worked.

   W/we talked for a few more minutes and Mistress said good-bye.  I just
stood quietly and did my best to compose myself.  I returned to work.  My
mind was full of what I'd just heard and what might be happening the next
day.  A long day had just gotten longer and the end didn't seem to be in
sight.

   The end did come though, and I made my way back to Her.  No matter how
loud I turned up the car radio, no matter what station or CD I listened to,
I could not quiet the low hum deep in my belly.  I could feel the dampness
in my panties.  I focused on the drive.  But, in the back of my mind, I
wondered how much more difficult it would be once I reached my destination.

   A long evening stretched in front of me.  I know now, from experience,
that it is good to reach a high level of want, desire...need.  It makes a
session much more intense.  It makes the body willing and eager to bear
whatever is necessary in order to find its release.  It makes the mind more
willing to obey.  It bends the will.

   Mistress spoke of it.  She touched me.  She looked at me.  She stoked
the embers of my desire expertly.  When it did finally come time to go to
sleep, I was very restless.  Sleep would not come.  I snuggled up next to
Her and could not quite keep my body still.

   She reached Her hand over to me, touched my nipples, slid Her hand down
between my legs, found my clit and began to stroke it.  I wanted nothing in
the world more than to cum right then but She would not let me.  She
brought me to the edge of it and withdrew Her hand.  The need was left
hanging on an edge it could neither go over or step back from.  I could
only do my best to calm myself.  Sleep finally came.

   I don't know if perhaps I'd been dreaming but, when I woke, my body was
still in a most aroused state.  Because it was, I remembered what was
planned for today before I even opened my eyes.  It would be in the
afternoon before He would come.

   W/we began the day.  Coffee, talk, tv news...the routine of the day
helped pass a little of the morning.  But, there were always
references...knowing looks, innuendo, touches.  My body, my mind, were
ready.  There's not much use in trying to deny what my body is feeling,
what it is wanting.  It won't go away.

   I tried not to look at the clock but it my eyes found it frequently. 
All over the room were reminders.  The box of toys, hooks in the ceiling,
paddle and spreader bar in one corner, and a long cane that hadn't been
there the previous day...everywhere my eyes wandered was another reminder.
And the biggest reminder was Mistress Herself.  Just being in Her presence
is stimulating.

   Enough time had gone now that I could begin to get ready.  I gathered
what I needed for my shower and went into the bathroom.  As always, the
warm water has a calming, soothing effect on my jangled nerves.  It helps
me get things back in focus and find the mind-set that will allow me to put
myself, quite literally, at someone else's mercy.  I scrubbed my body well
- no soft touches - it's not a good idea to have my own hands on my
body....too much temptation.  I would use no lotions today either.  This
Dom specialized in ropes.  Lotion and rope don't do well together.

   I put on my robe and slippers and sat by Mistress.

   "Do you have a pair of thigh-high hose?" I told Her I did.  "Get them,
and get those sparkly heels of yours and put them on."

   I did as She instructed...and began the last of the waiting.  I'd almost
forgotten something though.  I got up and went to the box of toys and found
my collar.  I went back to the bathroom to put it on.  I looked in the
mirror to be sure it was straight and, for the umteenth time, wondered at
the person that looked back at me.

   I didn't stay long in there and returned to sit beside Mistress.  The
time crept by but it wouldn't be long now at all.  My ears listened to what
Mistress was saying but were also focused on any sound outside the door.

   I finally heard it.  The outside door shut noisily and I heard heavy
footfalls coming down the steps.  I felt the familiar surge of my body as
He knocked.  I froze in place for a brief second as I always do. 
Anticipation and fear mingle.  "Is this what I really want?' I know it is
and go to the door.  I open it and step aside to let Him in.

   He walked past me and put down His big canvas bag.  I went to the other
side of the room.  I stood there as quietly as I could as He greeted
Mistress.  My heart was beating nearly out of my chest and I took some deep
breaths and regained control of my thoughts and physical reactions.  I was
ready now.

   He took a step toward me, crooked a finger into my collar and jerked me
to where He was.  "Take that off." I removed the robe and stood before Him
wearing only shoes, hose and the collar.

   He moved back and forth across the room getting things ready.  Each time
He crossed, He would pull me to where Her was by my collar.  My mind
adjusted to His actions and it became easier not to stumble when He did so.


   He had me remove the necklace I wore.  I handed it to Mistress and Her
eyes looked into mine.  I smiled back at Her, letting Her know I was
comfortable with what He was doing.  He told me to take off the collar.  I
did, and handed this to Mistress also.

   My body had become more and more impatient as the minutes ticked by.  It
was more than willing now to submit to Him.  It wanted whatever was going
to be done to it in order to end the terrible tension that had built in it.

   He firmly grabbed an elbow and turned my back to Him.  He bent one of my
arms behind me and I felt the first touch of rope.  He raised my wrist up
as far as it would go between my shoulder blades and began to tie rope
around it.  He took hold of the other arm and drew it behind and up in much
the same manner.  Rope was being wound round my arms, pulling them closer
together, closer to my body.  He brought it around the front of each
shoulder so they were pulled tightly back, and joined somehow to my arms.
My wrists were looped and secured in the web of rope behind me.  With each
loop, the bondage became tighter.  I could feel it going deeper and deeper
into my skin.  It involved only my arms, wrists, and hands but it was very
effective.

   He tugged here and there to make sure all was secure.  He needn't have
bothered to check, I couldn't move a muscle.

   My body was aching inside.  Even as I did everything He asked, it was
screaming its need.  I could feel the deep throbbing between my hips.  I
could feel the wetness between my legs.  I warned myself repeatedly to be
patient.  He was in control and it was up to Him.  If I didn't please Him
well, I would most likely be denied...and punished. .

   He walked me to an open doorway, had me bend at the waist and stand with
my nose touching the frame of the door.  He left me there.  I thought about
how I must look.  I wondered how long I could keep my balance, especially
in the shoes I was wearing.

   I could hear Him behind me.  I didn't dare take my nose away from the
frame of the door much less look around to see what He was doing.  I heard
conversation.  I was focusing on keeping my balance without doing too much
damage to my nose.  But, I was aware of scraps of Their conversation.

   They were discussing the horse...the wooden one.  Mistress was asking
Him if He'd like to try it out.  They were discussing the various aspects
of it.  I also heard Her tell Him I've learned to set it up quickly...that
it was no bother.  She told Him it was tall and I'd need help to get on and
off of it.

   All I could think of at that point was that, should He decide to give it
a try, I hoped I could get the thing together as quickly as She told Him I
could.  It's not difficult to do...at least not under normal circumstances.


   They discussed its merits a bit more and He decided He would give it a
try.  He finally came back to me and allowed me to stand up again.  My back
and shoulders had begun a fierce aching and my legs had become just a
little shaky.  I don't know why He had me stand there like that.  I can
only assume it's about control...and who has it.

   He walked me back to the center of the room and began to undo the ropes
that held me so tightly.  I felt blood returning.  Nothing had gotten numb
but there was still the "pins and needles" feeling here and there and a
return of warmth that I hadn't realized was gone.

   He told me I was to get the horse out and put it together...quickly.  As
soon as the last rope was off, I moved to get it from under the bed.  I
knelt on the floor and drug it out.  I hoped fervently that the assembly
would go well.  Most of the time, I don't have any trouble getting it
together but sometimes one leg or the other just doesn't want to
co-operate. I was able to close my mind off my body and focus entirely on
it.  The legs slipped into place and I tightened the screws.  A pull at
each one told me it was secure and I stood it upright.  With a great sigh
of relief, I stood back up.

   He told me that, pretty as my shoes were, they and the hose needed to
come off.  I removed them quickly and put them out of the way.  He stepped
away from me.  When He returned He had a wide leather collar in His hand.
He put it around my neck but decided it was too wide.  He got a different
one and began to put it in place.  This one was wide also and held my neck
straight and my head up.  He buckled it in place and asked it I was all
right with it.  I told Him I was.

   He reached for more rope and again began to tie my arms behind me.  I
knew at this point that, if I were to get up on that horse, I'd need a lot
of help.  He did not tie my hands and forearms as tightly this time.  He
had something else that would hold them just as effectively without being
so tight.

   He had a large, thick piece of leather with buckles and straps on it. 
He curled it around both forearms at once from elbow to wrist and held them
together.  He cinched it down tightly.  I could not move them.

   He turned away and came back with another thick strip of leather.  This
one had a black ball in the middle of it and I knew at once where it was
going.  He brought it to my mouth and forced it between my teeth.  For a
moment, I thought it would be too large but it was a little pliable.  He
had to push it in rather hard but, once in place, it fit well.  He then
demonstrated a little trick.  His placed His mouth over my nose and blew
into it hard.  I nearly choked at the rush of air.  He repeated it and
explained to Mistress how subs hate that.  I learned very fast however, to
close off my windpipe and allow the air to rush out my mouth.

   It was time to ride the horse.  Mistress came to one side of me and He
was on the other.  Between them, with a little effort, I was straddling it.
Balance on it is always difficult.  It is only 4 inches wide and there is
not much to steady myself with.  And, my arms being of no use to me, it was
even more difficult now.  I reached my feet out to the its legs in front of
me and steadied myself with my toes.  My difficulties caused some
amusement.

   A stray thought flitted through my mind.  I had not been given a
safe-word or distress signal of any kind.  I didn't anticipate any need to
use one.  I did remember what He had told me to do the last time I'd been
with Him and figured it would be the same.  The thought left as quickly as
it had come.

   My attention was so fixed to maintaining my balance that I was caught
off-guard and the first strike of the whip fell against my thigh.  The
beginning of real pain.  He kept up a steady rhythm.  He moved it up and
down the length of my thigh, slowly increasing the force as each one hit.
With each one, the sting bit harder and my cunt reacted more and more...I
could move against the horse...and I did.

   He moved the whip to my ass and set it on fire.  He moved to the other
side and treated my other thigh to its sting.  I could barely contain
myself.  I wanted more and more and I wanted to cum.  Desire was consuming
me.

   He moved again and the lash fell across my belly.  I was burning all the
way around.  But the hottest fire was between my legs...grinding into the
horse.

   The lash stopped and He moved to stand close beside me.  He put His hand
to my fire and it blazed hot and strong.  I turned my face to His and tried
to ask permission.  The sounds I made around the ball in my mouth were
almost unrecognizable but He knew what I wanted.  He chuckled out loud as
He told me I had better not cum.

   He came back to my side and began again with His fingers on my clit.  I
was at the end of my own personal rope and, once more, pleaded for
permission to cum.  He rubbed harder and I felt the rope dig into my ankles
and feet as I strained for balance.

   I was trembling with the beginning of a climax when He finally said yes.
He put an arm around my shoulders and I leaned back into it with the force
of my climax.  I didn't have to worry so much about balance now.  In fact,
I don't think I even considered it as the intensity of the orgasm peaked.
He wasn't giving me much time to come down from it.  His fingers had never
stopped moving.  My body was gathering itself for another one.  I leaned
forward as it started but He took hold of the collar and pulled me back so
that I couldn't.

   It rolled over and through me just as the first one had.  I was riding
the waves for all I was worth.  I'd waited for this and wanted as much as I
could have.  He was giving me my fill.  Yet another one was on its way.  I
could feel every twitch of His fingers as He massaged my swollen cunt.  I
felt my own juices trickle down my thigh.  He allowed it to run its course.


   .My balance was getting harder and harder to maintain.  He noticed and
decided to help me out a little bit.  He got more of His never-ending
supply of rope and tied each foot and ankle about half-way up the legs of
the horse.  I knew they'd stay there...He used a lot of rope.

   I'd had a few minutes to catch my breath but couldn't quite seem to. 
His hands were moving on my body again but I was uncharacteristically
distracted.  I had been in such a euphoric state that I couldn't recognize
what it was my body was trying to tell me.  I shook my head slightly to
clear the clouds that had seemed to form in my brain.

   I didn't want to think about it as His hands continued.  Desire was
rising again and I didn't want to be bothered with anything else.  But,
there was more urgency in what I was feeling that had nothing to do with
what He was doing to me.  Something was not right.  My head was too fuzzy.
The lights in the room had seemed to change.  I began to focus intently on
what was going on.

   I knew this sensation.  I was becoming light-headed and dizzy.  I knew
that I would soon lose consciousness and I had to let Them know.  That's
when I remembered...I had no word or signal ready.  It was getting harder
to think.  I fought against the urge to panic and remembered what He had
told me the last time.  I shook my head back and forth signifying "no." I
looked at Him but He hadn't noticed.  He wasn't looking directly at me.

   Mistress was standing on the other side of me.  She'd come there to help
me stay upright as He tied my feet.  I turned and looked Her in the eyes
trying to let Her see my distress.  She caught my look.

   I was fighting harder against panic now.  Something was going on in my
throat.  It was getting more difficult now to pass air in and out.  I
looked to Him again and shook my head "no" violently.  He saw me this time
and asked what was wrong.  I tried to form the word "dizzy" around the
thing in my mouth.  He couldn't understand me.  I caught His eyes this time
and He realized I was in trouble.  I tried again to say it, tried to make
the word clear.

   I didn't know how long this had been going on.  It seemed like forever
but couldn't have been even a minute.  And I didn't know how much longer
I'd have to get out of this predicament...or what caused it...or even if I
would be all right if He could get me out of my bonds.

   As soon as He realized how much trouble I was in, He took the gag
quickly out of my mouth.  My first reaction was to suck in deep breath.  I
couldn't.  My throat was too constricted.

   "Collar," I whispered.

   It came off in only seconds.  The dizzy feeling - the thing that had
first made me aware of potential trouble - faded quickly.  The difficulty
breathing only got worse after the collar came off.  Again, I fought the
surge of panic that I knew would only make things worse.  I willed myself
to be calm.  I told myself firmly that They would take care of me.  I
trusted Them enough to believe it.  I had to, and that trust was being put
to the test.

   I concentrated hardest on just moving air in and out of my lungs. 
Nothing else was important.  I just couldn't get enough air and I teetered
on the very edge of consciousness.  They were working together to free me.
Mistress helped me stay upright and He went after the ropes that held me. I
felt the leather being removed.  The sinking feeling in the pit of my
stomach remained.  The struggle for air was only getting worse.  I felt the
ropes fall away quickly.  My feet and arms were again free.  I managed to
get in a little air but my throat was still very constricted.  It wasn't
getting easier and I couldn't understand why.  All my bonds were off but my
throat wouldn't open up.

   They were touching me, helping me, asking what I needed.  I didn't know
what I needed...except to be able to get a deep breath or two.  I knew that
if I could just breathe I'd be all right.  I needed something to open my
throat....quickly.  I was still on the edge and fear re-entered my mind.

   I was afraid to take a bite of anything, afraid I'd choke.  Maybe a
small drink...maybe that would help.  "Something to drink" I answered
Mistress when She asked if there was anything She could do to help.  She
returned with some water very quickly.  He held me so I wouldn't fall while
She went.

   I hoped for the best as She helped me put the glass to my lips.  I took
a tiny sip and, hoping against hope that I wouldn't choke to death on it,
swallowed it.  It went down easily enough and, as it did I could feel my
throat relax just the slightest bit.  I took a breath in and it moved more
freely.  I raised the glass and swallowed a little more.  After a few more,
I was able to relax.  It was working.  The tightness went away.  I didn't
push my luck.  I took slow, steady, even breaths.  As I did, I felt the
cobwebs leave my head.  I could see clearly again.  I knew I would be all
right.

   I looked at Mistress and assured Her I was doing much better.  I was
afraid of how much I had scared Her.  Worry was etched in the furrows of
Her forehead.

   It was time to get off the horse.  The hands that helped me down were
gentle now, but strong enough to see that I got off safely.  I just stood
there for a moment.  They made sure I would be able to stand.  Mistress
guided me to a chair and sat me down.  I looked down at the floor.  The
ropes were lying all around in pieces.  They came off so quickly because He
had cut them off.

   Mistress was talking to me.  She wanted to hear my voice...to know that
I could speak.  I answered Her.  She told me to speak louder.  I did.  She
seemed satisfied that everything was in working order.  I was trying to
assure Her that it was.  Looking at me from Her point of view - not knowing
how I had appeared during all this - I could understand Her concern.

   They both questioned me repeatedly to be absolutely certain I was ok.  I
could only assure Them that I was.  All my symptoms had just gone away.  I
didn't understand what had happened.  I had no warning that it was coming.
I could see no reason for it to have happened.

   He spoke up.  He said that I had a little bit of an Adam's apple.  Was
that what caused it, I wondered.  The collar hadn't really felt tight.  It
was high but didn't feel like it had cut off any circulation.  I did
consider one possibility.  Perhaps as He had pulled me back as I was
cumming, the collar pressed against my neck just differently enough to
constrict it.  I tried to remember.  I didn't remember it feeling any
differently at the time....or even after I was upright again.  I just
didn't know, and may never figure it out.

   I began thinking about some other things, too.  I realized I would never
again underestimate the importance of a safe-word or signal.  I would never
again underestimate the importance of trust.  I had just found out that the
hard way that my life could very easily depend on it.  I began thinking all
the what-ifs and had to shut down that part of my thought process.  It
would serve no purpose now.  The knowledge that I had gotten would never,
however, be forgotten.

   I also thought I had let Them down.  I had frightened Them, especially
Mistress.  Nothing was worth that.  The fear that I had been done some harm
was still in Her eyes.  I hated causing Her any distress.  I felt that my
own body had let me down, too.

   I explained to Them both what had happened.  I told Them over and over
that I was back to normal.  I could understand Their skepticism.  I could
barely believe myself that there had been no lingering effects.  It was as
if it hadn't happened.  The bad part - I thought later - was that I hadn't
wanted the session to end once I felt better.  It's good that Mistress is
more level-headed than me.  The time had come for this one to end.  I don't
know that He would have continued either but Mistress took away the choice.

   He called me to kneel beside His chair.  The hand that had been so firm
earlier softly patted my hair.  He did this for a few minutes as They
talked.  Then He had me sit between His legs...my back to Him.  He laid my
head back against Him as He stroked my face and hair.  I relaxed easily and
the strain of all that had happened faded away.

   His hands weren't finished though.  They wandered down to my breasts and
He idly fondled them as He and Mistress continued talking.  I forgot to
listen to what They were saying.  I couldn't believe my body was again
rising to His touches.  There was no pain this time.  It was quiet
pleasure. He must have realized my response.  His fingers moved more
rapidly, more insistently.  I was squirming where I sat.  I was breathing
harder and was paying close attention to my ability to do so.  I was most
relieved to find that I still felt no ill effects.  So, I let my body drift
into the pleasure it felt.

   He was massaging my nipples intensely now.  I was surprised to realize
that I was close to a climax again.  "Can you nipple cum?" I told Him that
I had done it before.  "Then cum." I let my body do what it wanted.  I
could feel my hips rock even though nothing touched my sex.  I felt the
need build, then crest as an orgasm took me.  He let it go on and on.  His
hands kept moving on my nipples.  I soon found myself nearing another one.
He gave this one to me too.  I rode it out as far as I could.  I hadn't
expected this.  I'd thought He was finished with me.  I was most grateful.

   It was time for Him to leave, though.  He told me to put the horse away.
I went over to it and began to take it apart.  As I did, the things that
had happened today were replayed vividly in my mind.  I felt the fear I had
felt earlier.  I didn't want to associate fear with it.  I told myself that
this could happen with any piece of equipment.  I began to see it this
way...which is the truth of it.  Nothing can be taken for granted.

   He told me to hurry up and get it done.  He upped the odds as He said
it. Lashes began to fall on my ass.  "Hurry." I did.  I tried to keep my
focus on what I was doing but it was hard to because of what He was doing.
Again, I was grateful that I had enough practice to do it easily because He
continued the whole time.  I tied the pieces back together and slid it
under the bed.

   He began to gather up His things..  I stood up after I was finished.  I
wasn't expecting it when He told me to bend over and grab my ankles.  I did
as He instructed.  I hadn't seen Him get the paddle.  He was considering
out loud how many licks I should have from it.  Mistress decided that one
would suffice.

   I closed my eyes and waited for it to land.  I thought that, since He
would have only one shot at it, it would be a good one.  I wasn't wrong. 
He landed it full force against both cheeks.  It rocked me a little and a
heard myself groan on its impact as He commented that He'd gotten a
response out of me.

   I didn't straighten back up.  I've learned from Him that I'm not to move
from whatever position He puts me in until He says so.  He didn't say so.
Instead, He picked up the long, slim cane I'd seen in the corner.  He began
tap-tapping it against one cheek of my ass.  It fell harder and harder and
faster and faster.  I felt my back arch up and my fingers dig into the skin
of my ankles as the pain deepened.

   He was talking to Mistress about Their own various experiences with
canes.  I had the feeling He was toying with me with it....giving me my own
taste of it.  He stopped it and moved to the other cheek.  He did the same
thing on that side.  I tasted it long and deep.  Then, He stopped.

   He was finished and resumed what He'd been doing.  I sat down by
Mistress as He got the last of His things together.  My mind was again
replaying the days events - stinging butt or no stinging butt - I couldn't
help thinking about it.

   He said His good-byes and left.  It had been one of those good/bad
things.  Mistress and I discussed some of it and She asked again to be sure
that I was doing well.

   I would think long and hard about what had happened.  It's been a good
while now since that day.  The memory of it is as potent today as it was
then.  I know it's not wise to "never say never" but, I will never again
willingly submit to anyone without an escape route.  There will always be a
word or gesture that can leave no room for doubt...no margin for error or
second-guesses.  And, most importantly, I will never be afraid to use it.
There is a reason it is called a safe-word.







   ........annie