Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. These little snippets are an attempt (probably highly fanciful!) at what my ex-lover may have felt during the true scenarios originally presented in "Memories of an ex-lover". Read the relevant part of that story first. I hope to post a series (maybe 5 in all) in this format - my thoughts, feelings, sensations, followed by what may or may not have been her mind! ... it is our fourth date and you have finally summoned up the courage to ask me to bed, although I have wanted you from the first. Your shyness has excited me, knowing that you are pushing a little beyond your limits just for me Many, if not most of the men I've known have wanted me sexually on our first date and there been a few that have got what they wanted. Trembling fingers have undressed me and I have undressed you and you lead me to your bed. Slow and gentle kisses and caresses have aroused me intently, and I want you in my body and in my mouth, but I do not push too far because I still sense a slight shyness. But I know now that when it is overcome you will be an intensely erotic lover. I feel your fingers start to explore my sex and wonder how I feel to your touch : my wetness, my growing heat, my desire for you. You slip a finger, then fingers inside me and explore a little further and I squeeze against them ... it is all there, wanting and waiting for you, my lover ... Your hand withdraws and fingertips press and tease and rub that special little bud that drives me to such intense pleasure and I feel for the first time an orgasm rising during my first encounter with a new man. As you move slightly towards me I feel your hardening cock brush against me and I want to take in my hand and rub my throbbing sex with it, but I do not because I know it will make you cum and I want that to happen deep, deep inside me. I sense that you are not totally erect and that I want you to be, because I know a semi-erect penis is more sensitive than a fully engorged one and I want you filling me for as long as you can stay. I take you in my hand. I have always thrilled to the sensation of a cock hardening in my hand or in my mouth, a sense of power that I have made someone want me, need me. Two or three gentle but firm strokes and I allow myself the pleasure of brushing my swollen lips with your head as I guide you to my opening and pull you inside me. My fingers linger either side of my clitoris and my fingertips feel your shaft push slowly and deeply inside me and the first crashing wave of my orgasm starts to flow through my body and my whole being. And as I lie there enjoying you, I know you will be my perfect lover as you are the first man I have had that moves inside me slowly and lets me feel myself being taken and filled. All previous lovers and others I have known thrust and withdrawn too quickly and for their own selfish pleasure. But your tempo is slowly increasing and I know you are close to release. I feel a final, almost desperate lunge as you arch and I squeeze you and feel your warmth flooding inside me. You are mine and I am yours .... ... for the first time in our many weeks together, I do not want you. The pain of the week has mostly passed, but I am drained, I am pale, I am numb and I do not want you and you cannot want me the way that I am. For most of today I wanted to ring and tell you not to come over, but I was a little afraid you may be hurt even though you know the way I have been this week. But I was glad I didn't when you arrived and gently kissed my forehead and eyelids to help remove the numbness. Not much has been said this evening - I am too flat to talk and I know you are treating me with kindness by not encouraging me. I am in bed earlier than normal and you stay to watch the end of a movie on television. I am dozing off as I hear you enter and in the half-light I see you have undressed in the lounge to avoid awakening me. You pad silently around to your side of the bed and I feel the mattress flatten and smell the now-familiar scent of your body as you settle beside me. I am curled up with my back to you and I wonder whether I should roll over, but instead I move slightly just to reassure you that I am awake and that you are not disturbing me. You slip your left arm underneath me and the right around my shoulders and I feel a comforting nuzzle on the back of my neck as we snuggle closer. Our legs curve together and we lie as one. I feel your penis pressing between my cheeks, then a little quiver as I gently push back against it. I know you do not want me as I am and I do not want you, but I cannot repress a slight smile for the first time in days as I feel you start to harden against me. I wonder whether I should reach and take you in my hand, but you move slightly and I feel your hardness slide across my lower back and into the gap between us, now with your tip pressing hard against me. Your right hand moves from my shoulder and I feel it momentarily against my back as you take hold of yourself. You move hesitantly as if I might be offended. But you have aroused me and sated in so many ways in our time that I secretly want to see you deliberately and without shame masturbate before my eyes and purely for your own pleasure. I thrill to the thought of watching you starting to cum and gripping your cock tightly so your seed builds with each spasm until you release it in one long, hot and immensely satisfying burst. I kiss your left hand to let you know that all is fine and I want you to do it for yourself. The strokes are becoming faster and I want to feel your hand pumping yourself. I reach my right hand back and cup it over yours as it moves rhythmically pumps along your prick. The pumping quickens and I sense you are ready, and I reach for your tight balls and slip two fingers around the base of your shaft. I feel your grip tighten and a beautiful throbbing sensations as the spasms begin. I count seven contractions before your hand relaxes and a single load of hot seed splashes against my lower back. As you lie silently panting, I run my fingertips into the beautiful warm semen trickling from me and want to slide my hand to my mouth to taste you. Instead I move closer and reach for you. My first tactile pleasure for days comes when I take your fading manhood and softly rub it into your cum dripping slowly from me. You have pleased me immensely with this act and I now yearn for a chance to place myself before you, to open myself, and to fondle and caress myself to my climax as you watch .... ... I swore that after my first cat died that I wouldn't get another cat. But when I saw the ad, I couldn't help myself. A stray cat found by a lady in her 80's but now needing a new home because she couldn't really look after him. She had spent all the money required on him, vet bills etc. She hadn't given him a name, or least one that he recognized, and because he was jet black, my slightly twisted sense of humour couldn't help but call him Snowball. He was a bit people shy when I first picked him and he took a few days before he really settled in. And then you first came over, out the back again and it was obvious that he didn't trust strangers. But eventually Snowball adjusted and soon had the run of the house. Food crazy, he'd eat or lick up anything that accidentally hit the kitchen floor. Maybe I shouldn't have laughed that night when I dropped that dollop of cream and forgotten the whole thing. It was impossible for anyone he knew to sit alone in a chair or on the lounge. Straight up onto the lap he'd go, then twisting and rolling around until whoever's legs he was on parted slightly and he could nestle into the little hollow between the thighs. And that very hot night when I stripped naked and lay across the couch with my back propped up by the armrest and he jumped onto me. "No claws" I warned when he started the round and round routine and I parted my bare legs and let him settle, pussy against pussy! I don't know whether it was his warmth and little vibrations as he purred, or more probably when he started licking the top of my thighs that brought such a weird thought, but I was suddenly conscious that I was getting a little excited. I opened my legs a little further, very slowly to ensure he didn't lose balance and suddenly claw me (L don't know how I could explained any scratches there to you!). It was a delicious sensation, his tongue now on the inside of my thigh, and his warm, sleek fur vibrating against my slowly swelling labia. Suddenly I wanted more, I wanted your head against my and your tongue flicking at me and probing inside me. Why did I suddenly remember the night of the cream??? As soon as I did I knew I couldn't help myself! I had always wondered how it would feel smothering my sex with whipped cream and making you lick up every drop. Even pushing a plump, juicy strawberry inside me and feel you suck it out covered with cream and the juice of my cunt. Snowball grumbled a bit when I got up, but I knew he was in for a delicious surprise in more ways than one when I got back and it didn't worry me. After I lay a hand towel on the lunge and resumed my Cleopatra-like position, I had to hold the cream bowl over my head because Snowball guessed there might be something there for him. But he had a little task to perform first! He settled again between my even wider legs and again started licking at my thighs. I edged back a little to give myself some room, grabbed a handful of that thick cream and rubbed it all over my excited groin. The cold and smooth sensation against my hot wetness almost brought me off immediately and it was only a second before Snowball realized all his Christmases had come at once and I felt his rough tongue at me. I knew this was all crazy, but I couldn't help sliding a hand down to part my lips and then rubbing a finger full of the cream all over my throbbing bud. Alas, Snowball did not prove as patient lover as you, my love, and only twice did I delight to the texture of his tongue across me. Two more and I would have screamed, but when my fingers next slipped down it was to quickly and urgently finish the job that Snowball had unwittingly started ....