King XXXVIII
Chapter 3.38
Flung Quinn
(Mffffffff)
This novel contains graphic scenes of sex, some involving minors, rape and forced sex. It is purely a fantasy, not a depiction of real people or events. It is intended as a satire of politics and our modern culture, both funny and stimulating,
The conceit of this novel is that vile pornographers and dirty liberals have higher moral standards than any religious or right-wing nut who pretends to hold the moral high ground in today's world. We've had enough of a political party that defends the rich and big corporations.
By Hauteone
When Rashan with Efram's help "flung the Quin" as he called it, he had only a general idea where it would end up. He knew only that he wanted positioned in a place where family enemies could not find it. He particularly wanted it out of the potential hands of the Nazis who could use it to achieve their world-conquering objectives.
He flung the Quin far into the future, the 1980's to be exact to the family-owned warehouse in Los Angeles where it could be found by sympathetic family members like myself. Unfortunately, it languished there unfound for many years until a janitor stumbled upon it and brought it to my two female technical geniuses Turing and Ramona. As it so happened, they were looking for a conical attachment for the Remote Fucking Machine (RFM) they were developing.
They had several different attachments they tried but none seemed to satisfy their requirements. The Quin was a little bigger than they hoped, but it was both primitive and exotic looking and had many of the other features they were looking for in an RFM device. Experiments with other components (some of which have been related here) had proved disastrous. The Quin had the advantage of being relatively stable even though when you looked at it, you had the strange feeling you were not seeing the whole object. No matter how hard you looked, a portion of it always seemed multi-dimensional and beyond your view.
Turing and Ramona both thought it was an ideal attachment to their device which was intended to allow two people on opposite sides of the world connected to the internet to have stimulated, highly enjoyable sex. The original device was to stimulate the sex organs of both connected parties to a satisfactory climax. Once attached to their device, however, the Quin had other amazing properties. For one thing, the female end of the equation did not have to be connected to the device at all. As soon as the male plugged in to the Quin, the female he was fantasizing about began to writhe in unimaginable ecstasy.
Moreover, Turing and Ramona discovered that the woman fantasized about need not necessarily be the female test subject. If the male imagined himself in his girl friend or his wife, they experienced simultaneous arousal. And if the male imagined an actress such as Jessica Alba, Jennifer Biel, or Angeline Jolie, they began to show signs of arousal. Turing and Ramona were able to test this theory by stalking and videotaping the stars while they shopped in Beverley Hills.
"Alba's face is flush and her knees are buckling," Turing told Ramona over the walkie talkie one day while stalking the lovely actress. "Oops, hand in pants, rubbing...rubbing. Having difficulty maintaining balance on stiletto heels."
"Is she moaning and screaming yet, because frankly, Frank back here at the lab has another gear," Ramona said. "He could turn it up a notch. He could have her crawling on the pavement humping a fire hydrant."
"Let's go for it," Turing said.
"Faster, faster," Ramona shouted to the male test subject. "Frank, give her all you have."
Frank was sweating like Britebart at an ACORN convention,
"Christ, Ramona, I am going as hard as I can," Frank screamed. "The feelings are just so intense."
That was among the properties of the Quin model of the RFM. Participants said they felt as if a life force was flowing through them during their sexual interlude. Females had no doubt there was a real prick poking their private parts during the experience. Men said they felt as if their connection to a marvelously tight vagina also was real.
"Man, you can fuck anybody with this fucker," Frank called out. "I am going to dream about Lindsay Lohan."
"No Frank, we don't know what will happen to Alba if you pull out too soon," Turing screamed.
"The Taliban will just move back in," Ramona quipped.
Meanwhile, Alba was crawling into the middle of Rodeo Drive, trailing a long wet puddle behind her. A car stopped inches from her face. The driver got out, looked down at her and snarled.
"Oh my God," she screamed.
"Didn't get enough beat down from Afleck in that last turkey movie of yours," he said. "Kate Hudson could kick your ass."
No stalkers were trailing Lindsay Lohan that day, but it was the day she was sentenced to jail. No one could imagine what she did to deserve such a sentence but Turing and Ramona thought they knew.
It was perhaps inevitable that Gloria would eventually hear about Turing and Ramona's "secret" and want to videotape it for posterity. I'd just stepped onto Gloria's set when Frank, the test subject, disappeared in mid-climax.
"Oh, this is gonna pose a problem when Frank's agent hears about this," Gloria cried. "He's gonna sue. There goes my blockbuster."
"Calm down, Gloria," I told her when I finally had been had a chance to speak to her. Vlostock, Rashan and Candy were already on their way down to the studio from my mansion. Valeria and Petrovius were ready to videoconference in from Las Vegas back at my office, Creech informed me. They were ecstatic the Quin had been found even if a person was lost in the process.
"Was he Roman?" Valeria asked.
"Italian, I think," Creech said.
"Big difference," Valeria said. "A true Roman could go day and night and never 'pop' like that fellow did."
"He didn't pop, that's the point," Creech giggled. "He peeped out before he popped."
"Don't get smart with me, young woman," Valeria said. "I know you are going to marry that Brad fellow one day soon and take him off the market for the rest of us, but don't get so cocky just because you are getting a prize cock."
"What are you talking about?" Creech said. "You are totally crazy. Brad will never marry anyone, especially me."
"You are so naive," Valeria told her. "You take his sexual indifference as not caring when actually the reverse is true."
"Reverse?" Creech replied.
"Has anyone looked in that woman's pussy?" Piglet asked innocently.
"What," I said.
"Maybe Frank just tipped over and fell in," Piglet offered. She was serious.
"He was going pretty good there at the end," she said. "Maybe he just tipped over and fell inside."
"I said I wanted suggestions on how to get Frank back," Gloria wailed. "I meant serious suggestions."
Truth was, Piglet was more right than she knew. Frank had lost his balance and fallen in, but he landed not inside his partner but inside the universal canal that connects all living things at their essence. It was very vagina like in its appearance.
"Welcome to limbo," Efram said.
"Hey," Frank said backing away. "I don't swing that way. No dudes in my fantasies."
"Strange then that you swinging an erect weapon in my general direction," Efram laughed.
"Don't get your hopes up buddy," Frank said. "I am not a fudgie packer."
"Perhaps not with men, but with women, maybe so, right?"
"Well, maybe when they pay me extra, but not by choice."
"Don't worry about me, Frank." Efram told him. "I am so far beyond sex, it frightens even me when I think about it. Still, I was once human like you with needs. And I have a feeling that if you can assist me while you are here, your future will be unfathomable."
"Just so long as I don't have to fall into your chasm, gay boy," Frank said. "Why are you naked?"
"Why are you?"
"What? Uh, don't change the subject. I was drilling a girl. see. A girl. You're standing in here in this big cave waiting for men. Standing there bare as blue jay waiting for another gay."
"Frank, my man, I am now pure energy, a thought," Efram said. "What you see exists not at all in real space/time. Even you, you no longer really exist in the sense you are familiar with."
"Quit talking like that. I ain't no wimp but you're starting to scare me."
"Actually, you are a WIMP," Efram said. "Both of us are. Just dark energy amid dark matter."
"I ain't no wimp and I ain't black neither," said Frank.
"Well, it is amazing to know that you are a man of sophistication, Frank," Efram said. "I see you are staying current on quantum theory in your era. I tried to follow stay up to date with the latest on Einstein and Bohr in my time, at least I did before before I was shot. Now that I am here in limbo--my word for where we are--I try to stay abreast of and influence the science of all ages, including your own."
"You ain't influencing my breasts anytime soon, buddy," Frank continued.
"A friend named Negroso once said something very similar," said Efram. "But I saw better qualities in him, too, and eventually turned him away from the anti-life force."
"You mean you turned him from the dark side?"
"No, Frank, as I told you, we are all enveloped in the dark side," Efram said impatiently.
"And what are you? A naked as a jay bird, gay boy, faggot, vagina-livin' Darth Vader?"
"You know, Frank, I am beginning to suspect you may not have the qualities I'd hoped for," Efram said, clearly disappointed.
"Frank's back," Piglet called from downstairs. "He's talking about discovering some gay boy in a huge, smelly vagina."
"Oh wonderful," Valeria said. "Can we please get back to our Quin meeting?" Valeria said.
"Pardon me, bitch," Piglet spat back. "Who died and made you queen?"
"Technically, it was Claud, though I hate to give him credit for anything," Valeria said. "He was such a bastard."
"Yes, milady, and the Emperor tried to have you killed and would have succeeded had it not been for that virgin we sacrificed in your place," Petrovious remarked.
"Imagine that, a virgin sacrificing herself for me," Valeria said.
"You mean you are not a virgin?" Donna said. "I'm shocked."
"Me, a virgin?" replied Valeria. "No, not so much. What histories have you been reading?"
"Okay, let's forget the insults and get back to work," I said. "Piglet, tell Frank we are happy to see him return from whatever smelly vagina he went to and tell Gloria to get the Quin up here soon as she's through filming."
"Are you sure we should wait that long?" Rashan said. "The reason every body in Christendom and Islamadon are trying to kill you is because of the Quin. It is the McGuffin in our little drama."
"Understood, Rashan," I said. "But it has remained hidden for decades, and centuries before that. Another hour should not make much difference.
"It will not go unnoticed that we are have a meeting on the subject, especially since we have two people in an online videoconference any computer person could hack into," Vlostock said.
"Hack into?" I said. "Gramps, I am surprised you learned so much of the jargon of our age in your short time here. What is it, less than five years, right?"
"Correc five years in this mechanized, forsaken age," Rashan said. "And I can almost hear the coughing already."
"Coughing?" Donna said. "Hacking doesn't have anything to do with...oh, never mind.
"Thanks, Donna," I said. "Now let's get back to my question, what can we expect..."
"Brad's just trying to smoke out the spy in our midst," Piglet offered, interrupting me. She had by now climbed to the top of the stairs and was leaning on the door frame to my office wearing a barely there teddy.
"Smoke out what spy?" Candy said.
"The one in our midst," Piglet said. "That's out why he is being so casual about protecting the Quin. He hopes to draw out the spy."
"Thanks for that, Piglet, but I guess you realize any chance we have of smoking out the spy is gone now that you said that," I said.
"Not to mention, you come here dressed like a trollop," Petrovius said, his face framed in the large video screen on the wall in my office.
"What are you some kind of fashion critic," Piglet said.
"Yeh, mister, I'd watch what you say and who you call a trollop," Donna said angrily.
She still had not forgiven him for that night in the Carnival parking lot. I suspected, however, she had a grudging respect for Petrovious and would mind examining what he had under that short kilt he wore, emblematic of his position in the Roman royal guard.
"Petrovious has no fashion sense whatsoever," Valeria said. "I think you mean that Perez Hilton wannabe Titus Petronius who served Nero. As gay as they come but what a style flair he had. You wouldn't get fucked by Petronius either."
"Who says I want to get fucked by anyone?" Donna said.
Valeria gave her a withering imperial look of disdain that penetrated the screen like a laser to Donna's heart.
"My dear, it is patently obvious who you wish to fuck and Petrovius has my permission if he wants to go ghetto," Valeria said. "But no one can explain vulgar tastes."
"I assure you, milady..." Petrovius began.
"Oh, Petrovius don't get your panties in a wad," Valeria said, waving a cautioning hand. "I don't care if you fuck her in any position you wish--doggy, missionary--whatever. Just do it outside my line of sight."
"Lady, I'm going to come to Vegas and fuck you up, royally," Donna said.
"Where did I lose control?" I said to Candy who was setting at my side with a huge smile on her face.
"Perhaps if we made a rule no one could talk until you called on them," she said.
"I have a gavel in my desk drawer," Creech said. "I'll go get it."
"This is beginning to look like a Tea Party convention," said Donna. "Where are the anti-Obama signs?"
"I just love that man," Candy said. "You know, I dreamed at the Roosevelt inaugural back in 1932 some man of my color would one day be the president. Never did I think it would happen in my lifetime."
"Well, Candy, even though you have lived through a lot of history--most of the recent really bad racial stuff, you took a bypass around," Creech said. "You don't look a day over 25."
"Thanks, Creech," Candy smiled. "I still can't get accustomed to that name of yours."
"It quite obviously is short for Creature," Valeria said, "and I presume she's from the black lagoon."
"I just want to point out that I did not "call' on anyone," I said.
"Want me to preside over the meeting?" Vlostock said.
"No, a woman should be in charge," Valeria said.
"Who died and made you a woman's liberationist," Piglet said.
"Honey, I was liberated before Rome's slaves were," Valeria said.
"Well, I've had more cocks in me," said Piglet.
"Piglet, this is Valeria, wife of the regent of Rome, and an historically superior super fucker," I said "What would persuade you to make a statement like that?"
"I'm just saying she ain't all she thinks she is," Piglet said. It was the first time I'd seen her nearly speechless.
"At one time, Piglet, Valeria would have told Petrovius to lop off your head," I told her. "And I wouldn't be able to prevent it, much as I love that pretty little head of yours and the way it gives head."
"So when Belial and Buckner attack..." Donna said. She was trying to get the meeting back on track.
"We'll be ready for them," Candy said.
"I'm not so sure," I said. "We can't get through a very simple tactical meeting without a lot of name calling and back biting."
"Strategic," Petrovius said grumpily. He was glaring at Donna and Piglet.
"What?" I said
"This is a strategic meeting," he said.
"Geez, you guys don't even know why you are here," Piglet said.
"For this," Ramona said. She and her technical partner were carrying in the Quin.
"Gloria says she's done shooting and Frank disappeared again," Turing said.
"So he's in the Quin again?" I asked.
"That would be my guess or he's in a big, smelly vagina and doesn't want to leave," Ramona said.
"The Quin is not so heavy so maybe he's not inside," Turing said.
As she maneuvered the Quin cone through the door around Piglet's tiny frame, the object seemed to glow and float like a hot air balloon.
"There's a lot of energy in that thing," Donna said. "It's a lot of energy. No wonder Frank went back inside."
"I am beginning to wish I was in there with him," I said.
Then from inside the Quin, we heard Frank's voice:
"I tell you, I ain't no gay wad, Cocksure," he shouted out to us.
The noise startled Turing and she flung the Quin across the office. It landed with a thud at the base of a wall.
"Uh oh! Piglet said. "I ain't payin' for it on my salary."
In what, I agree, was a bunker mentality that night, Donna and I asked everyone in our extended family to spend the night at my mansion in Bel-Claire. A large brick fence surrounded the property, even the section that opened onto a cliff overlooking the Pacific. Donna had instituted many security enhancements since the attack several months earlier, including along the face of the cliff from which the last attack was launched. We were not impregnable, but we would make a strong fortress against the coming winds.
Too agitated to sleep, I wandered around the large premises making sure everyone was tucked in safely, listening to conversations where I could.
Terry Dendridge, heroine of the last attack, Terry's mom, Dez and her own and her friends' daughters, flew in from New Orleans to be with us stay because I felt they were especially vulnerable. Since the BP oil spill, Terry's oil rig spill act was a standing-room only act and Terry's high profile name was sure to draw the attention of enemies. Dez never tired of reminding me that I had not encouraged the oil spill act in February when it was first proposed. In my own defense, all I could say was that despite my reservations, I did let the act proceed and promoted it until it found an audience. Now Terry was making more money than she ever dreamed possible.
"Baby has lost some of that baby fat and she has turned into an even more incredibly beautiful girl," I told Dez.
"She has a large line backer for a boyfriend now who won't like you eyeing her like that," Dez said.
"I'm being good these days," I said.
"I noticed a difference in you," Dez said. "It's kind of sad. What's going on?"
"You mean besides the end of the world as we know it?" I asked. "I don't know. Maybe I have just learned who I can trust and not trust."
"I take it you know who the mole is?"
"Of course, it was obvious when I began thinking about it," I said.
"Care to share?"
"All I can tell you is that it isn't you," I replied. "You'll find out soon enough."
I walked away leaving a very puzzled Dez in my wake. My old friend would later charge me with not trusting her, but I could not endanger her life by telling her what Donna, me and her security staff had deduced that afternoon. Another attack was imminent and it would come from inside from someone most loyal.
Harvey, the board member who was a frequent guest at the mansion, stopped me as I walked by one of the open bars in the mansion. He was holding a martini and was quite drunk.
"Brad, good to see you, old friend," he said. "What you got here tonight? Maybe 400-500 beautiful women sleeping all over the place in various states of nakedness? What, you fucked all of these broads?"
I knew he enjoyed lively his life vicariously through mine. He served on several corporate boards but I could tell he liked spending time with us more than anyone else.
"Yes, most more than once," I said.
"Jesus, even your mom and sisters who are here tonight, right?" Havey said. "And your sister's friends?"
Yes, but that was more product testing on their part," I laughed.
"Jesus, Brad, I don't know how you do it," he growled.
"You know, I don't know either," I said and wandered off, leaving Harvey muttering into his drink.
Nearby, I encountered a smiling Lisa Ann talking to a giggling Cicilia. Lisa Ann had recovered nicely from her rape and mutilation at the hands of Buckner. She still walked with a limp, but her attitude had improved dramatically in the the last few months. She'd begun to befriend some of the other girls staying at the mansion, especially Cicilia who was selling her on the benefits of my cock.
"Hey, Brad, would you be interested in a late-night session who two teenage girls?" Cicilia said.
It was a tempting offer but roaming the halls somewhere nearby, Creech was the one I really wanted to prepare for this night.
"Cicilia, Lisa Ann, any other time, I could not resist," I said. "Tonight, there is too much going on. Thank you, though. I am honored."
As I walked away, I could hear the Lisa Ann took rejection well. Cicilia stomped her feet and walked angrily away, pouting like a child. I wondered where her mother was now.
I found Patrice and Carmel, the two girls we dispatched to Africa more than a year earlier, sleeping soundly in the den. They recently discovered that Candy was their great-aunt and had enjoyed sharing information with her during long afternoons around the swimming pool. Tonight, they'd fallen asleep near where Candy sat watching them with great fondness.
"They are beautiful, eh?" Candy said. "It is hard to imagine that I might have missed an opportunity to get to know these two stinkers. Somehow, I think fate intended for me to be thrown forward in time so I could meet them. Originally, when Vlost and Rashan and I came into this time, I was sooo lonely. Vlost and Rashan were busy all of the time, planning this and that. But I had just seen Saana, my best friend, shot in front of my eyes. I had no friends in this time I could talk to, until I met them."
"They are lovely, Candy," I told her. "but you know, the apples never fall too far from the tree."
"That's a nice thought, Brad, but I know I am old," she said. "I may not show it, but I feel it."
And so did I. Recently, I had been feeling really down and overwhelmed. If what Vlostock and Valeria said awaited us was true, the future of mankind looked pretty bleak to me. I could hardly escape the sense of dread that seemed to surround me.
I found Ramona and Turing with Donna and four of her top agents guarding the Quin in the billiards room. The Quin sat in the middle of the billiards table in the middle of the room, spotlighted by an overhead lamp. Since being tossed across the room at the studio, it had begun to hum and pulsate as if inhabited by demons. Frank's appendage still protruded from the wider open end of the cone, but no more had been heard from him. For Turing and Ramona, Frank's thing made for a rigid handle to assist in carrying the Quin from one place to another.
"I know those lights and sound are a sign something is going to happen very soon," Donna was telling one of her girls.
"What should we do, throw it in water?" the girl said.
"We don't want to drown Frank if he's still in there," I interjected. "Besides, I have it on good authority from Rashan and Vlostock that any more rough play with it will just get it angrier. Better leave it where it is."
"And where are Rashan and Vlostock?" Donna said. "I know I am not a true believer, but it gave me confidence to know Rashan was around after hearing those stories about how he handled Salcalcano's crew back in the Depression."
Rashan and Vlostock had left to deal with something they said they had to investigate, I told her. I asked if she felt it might be wise to have Petrovious on hand.
"He's big, strong and ruthless as hell," I said. "He could be a real asset in a fight."
"He's a lummox," Donna said. "We don't need him."
I knew her pride and anger about being attracted to Petrovious were speaking, not her practical, hard-nosed business side. I could have overruled her, but figured that would undermine her authority at a time really needed her focused and fully committed. We'd have to make do with what we had. Petrovius would remain in Vegas with Valeria.
"I wish we had a male subject now to test this thing with," Ramona said. "I bet we could take it to the middle of a casino in Vegas and make some lucky guy shoot the rival the fountains at Caesar's."
Turing was already counting in her head the money she and her tech partner were going to make.
"I know we have not quite figured out how to synthesize and mass produce this puppy, but once we do...we'll be the queens of IT," she was saying with a touch of glee in her voice.
"Are you to try to remove Frank, his thing and maybe great-grandpa Effram, too?" I asked them. "Nobody's going to stick anything in there if they suspect somebody inside might yank it completely off."
"We've already figured that," Ramona said. "If anyone gets touched while in midstream, so to speak, we will tell them they are in the hands of the most beautiful women in history."
"Really?" I said.
"Who cares if it is true," Turing said. "Men are dumb enough to believe anything."
"They even believe Valeria is a virgin when she tells them," Ramona added.
"Gloria, too," said Donna. "Man, now that is dumb,"
So went the conversation that night and on into the morning. Talking helped relieve tensions and keeping the conversation light, kept moods light. We, all of us, expected to die that night. We'd prepared the best we could but we knew the odds were stacked against us. Somewhere, Belial and his legions of billions of machine-gun toting reptiles were about to emerge into our world firing indiscriminately at everything in their paths. We were prepared as best as we could but we were far from adequate to handle the challenges facing us.
We were not prepared for what happened that night, however.