Quick Release Written 10.16.06 (C) Rogue 2006 The tears trail down my cheeks as the song ends; the last final tones slowly fading away. Ah, I'm such a sap. I open my eyes to see the dank interior of the bar as I quickly wipe my cheeks, hoping that nobody's seen me cry. It's been an ok day, but sometimes I just need to hear sad music to tip me into a place where I can let the frustration out. It's really the only release I have anymore. The bar was always a place where I could go and feel anonymous. Nobody really bugged me, but that didn't stop me from being paranoid about crying in front of people - for any reason. It always felt like people would see it as an open manipulation to get comfort. I see movement out of the corner of my eye. A guy is stepping up to the table, two beers in his hand. "You alright?" he asks, moving to sit in the booth across from me. I frown at him, annoyed that he's forcing his presence on me when it's so clearly not wanted. I cock my head at him, curious. "Why do you care?" The man, who is actually damned attractive - now that I've had a chance to check him out, raises an eyebrow and calmly answers, "Tears usually mean problems." I can feel my expression becoming sour as I snap, "And what's it to you?" Another 'Mother Theresa'? He really doesn't look the type. "Looked like you could use an ear. What're you lookin' for here?" he asked, surprising me. I'm not sure if he's fucking with me or not, but for some reason decided to answer honestly. "Some kind of release." He shrugs and places one of the beers in front of me. I eye the beer for a moment, then look back at him. "I don't drink." I explain. "Why not?" "Don't like the taste." I shoot back. "When's the last time you tried it?" "Many years ago. Hated it then. I'll probably hate it now." "Never know 'till ya try." He's goading me. And he knows that I know he's doing it. And he doesn't care. He smiles, and something in his eyes catches me. I feel my heart give a single loud thump as he says, "It'll cure what ails ya." At a loss for words, I let out a bark of laughter, then pick the beer up. Why am I even bothering? This guy's a cocky asshole. And yet - he's taken an interest in what he's seen as somebody getting all emotional in the back booth of a local dive. I take a swig, still disgusted with the taste. I grimace and place the beer back on the table. "Yep. Still as shitty as I remember." I grumble, wanting him to leave - but also wanting him to stay. The inner conflict is frustrating. Another frustration to add to the pile. It's getting pretty big of late. He seems interested. When was the last time somebody was honestly interested in me that didn't turn me off entirely? Years. Easily. He takes a swig, then looks me in the eye, his voice becoming a low rumble. "There are other ways to find release, y'know." Yep. Definitely interested. Still, I want to make sure so that there's no misunderstanding. "Indeed there are." I lean forward, my eyes narrowing. "What exactly are you getting at?" He smiles - a lazy curve of his lips. His hazel eyes dance as he asks, "When's the last time you got laid?" Ah, crudity. Such class, going for the conversational money shot so soon after inserting himself into my personal space. Prick. And yet.. "Are you usually this direct?" I ask, already knowing the answer. He nods and tips the beer back again before answering. "Yep." Hazel eyes and raven black hair, surprisingly strong features - and he's built like a brick shithouse. He's gorgeous, in a rough and tumble sorta way. "I'm sure that a man of your particular distinction wouldn't particularly have issues finding company in a dive like this. So why me?" He cocks his head at me, placing his beer on the table off to the side. "You usually this evasive?" he asks, not letting it drop. Something about his tone makes me shiver, and before I'm able to stop myself, I blurt out, "Three years." His jaw drops slightly as I add, "And change." He seems to think about something for a moment before standing up and grabbing my wrist. My pulse leaps as he murmurs, "C'mon." He pulls me out of the booth and I scramble to get my iPod, jamming it into a pocket before he pulls me past the bartender - who he tosses a tip to. I'm not being pulled painfully as much as being led. Where is he taking me, and why am I not wiping the floor with him? Anybody else who pulled this crap would've pulled back a bloody stump. "Where are you..?" I ask, and he quickly cuts me off. "Where do you think?" he replies. We're outside now, and it's dark out. I can see the north star clearly as well as the bright curve of the scythe moon. He leads me over to a large green truck, turning around and pulling me to him, then gently pushing me back up against the truck. "Three years? No shit?" he asks. He looks genuinely puzzled. I look back at him, nodding numbly. I'm not usually this submissive, and at the back of my mind, I'm really bothered by it. But a part of me likes it - wants to know just how aggressive he is. It's been a long goddamned time, and now my hormones are jumping into overdrive. He leans in and takes a deep breath, and I can see him shiver. He releases my wrist, placing his hand on my hip. His breath is hot against my neck, and I can feel his lips on my skin, slowly moving up to just under my ear. "You gotta lot 'a time to make up for, then." he murmurs, and an intense jolt pounds through my synapses at the sound of his voice. I hear a small cry escape my lips, unable to help it. His hand tightens against my waist, and I can hear his breathing becoming rough now. Harsh. "Jesus." he murmurs, placing a hand on my other hip as he pulls back to look at me. His eyes are sharp; glittering as I feel his hands slowly slide up my sides. "Public or private?" he asks, his voice sounding almost strangled. Not really knowing what he's asking, and finding it difficult to speak, I stammer, "W-what?" His hands tremble slightly at my sides as he explains, "I can either fuck you right here against the truck, or we can go somewhere. Entirely up to you. You're gettin' fucked either way, though." His words excite me more than anything previous lovers have said or done in the heat of passion. I can feel my legs buckle, and I hear him let out a self-assured laugh as he pulls me against his body, his mouth - then his teeth - rough against my neck. "Can't hold back much longer, darlin'. What's it gonna be?" "Private." I groan, letting out a hiss as he bites down and grinds against me. Something delicious jitters through my synapses, and I can hear him let out a whimper of sorts. Good. We're both gone. He pulls back and growls. "Too late." Honestly? I couldn't be happier. At this point, it wouldn't matter if this was performance art in an overcrowded concert hall. The only thing that matters is getting naked and getting him inside me. As quickly as possible. Thank god I'm wearing a skirt, I think to myself as I hear him quickly unbuckling and unzipping. I look down between our bodies and let out a strangled cry. He's enormous. How on earth will it all fit? My panties tear off with a single impressive jerk of his hand. He's done this before. He hefts me in his arms and I wince, ready for a traumatic entrance - both startled and pleased that I'm well lubricated enough for it to be tight, but doable. He feels amazing sliding in, his teeth grazing my nipple through my shirt as he presses me down against him. His hands clutch almost painfully at my hips as I feel his pelvis press against my ass. He's finally all the way in, and it's literally taking my breath away. "My god..." I whimper, and I hear him growl as he pulls out and slams back in. Stars spark across my vision, it's so goddamned good. Within moments, we're both rutting at full speed - his mouth hot and soft along my skin. I'm clutching at his back, plucking at the flannel shirt he's wearing. It occurs to me that he kinda dresses like a lumberjack, then the thought is quickly tossed out of my head at the feeling of a growing liquid heat inside me that's slowly getting stronger as it flows from my pelvis up my torso. He begins slamming into me harder and the feeling suddenly changes, becoming sharper and bigger as it shakes its way through my body, forcing me to the edge of a place of sensation that I've never really felt before. I feel his teeth scrape against the tender skin between my neck and my shoulder, and it's becoming an electric pulse now. I feel cold and hot at the same time, and as he bites down a white hot rush screams through me and out my mouth as pleasure shakes my body like a hyperactive dog with a sock. He quickly follows, moaning against my neck, his body trembling as all his synapses fire at once. Everything becomes bliss and serenity as I feel him slowly start to kiss his way up my neck. When his lips meet mine, I'm more than eager to respond, and I'm surprised to find that he's an exquisite kisser. He seems so gruff that this seems almost too soft for him. It's an odd combination, but it's definitely working for me. He gently nips my lower lip with his teeth and pulls back to look at me, his face shining with a sated grin. "Now private?" he asks, and I nod, laughing now. Oh yeah. Now private.